Chapter 14

Validation

They were in the room attached to the one Bucky was resting in. Nick had dragged the man to his car and brought him to the tower. He complained about the blood on his backseat and expected Tony to pay for it to be cleaned.

"I brought him here. The least I can ask for is you to pay the dry cleaning," Nick said, giving Tony the eye.

Nick went on to explain what he saw happen. He couldn't hear the two talking at their table, but he saw how Barnes looked different than before. He was spying on them, yes, but he had good reason to. Something happened and Barnes threw himself at Steve, right as a gun went off. Nick knew who the targets were. Steve took Barnes to a building with cover and watched their body language. Then Hydra came, took Steve, and left Barnes to bleed out.

"Steve could've escaped easily. He just… gave up. I saw his face when they were taking him away. He was about the most broken that I've seen a man."

Bucky didn't understand why there was a bed under him. At first, he thought all the shit that happened was just a bad dream. Then he felt the burn in his shoulder, the lack of bone and tissue.

He felt his chest, the hole that was there but not there. The physical wounds were dull in comparison.

Bucky looked over at the IVs in his arm, yanking the needles out and pulling the heart rate monitors off his wrecked chest and unplugging the damn machine so it would stop making noise.

He had been asked by Nick to go to the tower. At first, he was reluctant because Captain Rogers still didn't know he was alive and he didn't want to leave his team, his new Director position. Nick told him that Rogers had been captured by Hydra, and he knew that wasn't an issue. May told him to go, that it was important to him so he should help. Coulson was asked to go check up on Barnes in his room, leaving Nick to explain the situation he had previously been informed of.

Phil walked in (unaware to Barnes) and saw the man staring at the shield in the chair across the room, silently crying. He expected the man to be yelling when he woke up, having a fit about being in a room he didn't know or screaming because no one was acting to save Steve.

Coulson noticed that the heart monitor was silent and the IVs hanging by the bed.. "Why'd you take the IVs out?"

He expected Barnes to jump. Again, he was wrong. "I don't need them." As far as he could tell, Barnes' voice was unaffected by his crying.

"Just like you don't need you heart rate monitored?"

Barnes just shrugged, ignoring the pain in his shoulder when he did so.

Coulson walked closer to the bed, taking notice of every detail of Barnes' movements. He really didn't trust the guy. "You know, it's kind of unsettling seeing the world's best assassin crying."

Bucky's eyebrows twitched and he wiped at his face. He didn't know that he was crying.

"He's awake?" Stark called out from outside of the room.

Phil called back over his shoulder, not looking away from the assassin for a second.

Everyone came in the room, all wondering just what the hell happened when they went out to eat.

Tony asked Bucky to fill them all in, but he just sat there not looking at any of them.

"Do you know where they took him?" Sam tried asking.

"Of course I fucking know where they took him." The volume of his words took the hostility out of his voice.

"Well what the hell? Why aren't you telling us anything?" Clint asked, getting impatient with his mopey ass.

He guessed it didn't matter if they knew the truth too. Steve's opinion of him was all he cared about, and it didn't go well when he told him about Hydra. Bucky saw the men, their guns against Steve's head, them taking him away. Out of his control, his lungs jerked and Bucky put his head back in his pain.

"Listen here," Tony said, also impatient with the bastard, "You know what they're going to do to him. They'll condition him, break him down to nothing. They'll pulverize his will and make him a blank slate."

Bucky's chest heaved and he started coughing.

Nat went over to him on the other side of the bed, putting her arm on his back. Bucky coughed into his hand, blood dripping from his cupped palm and to the white linens of the medical center's bed. "They'll sit him down or lay him down or whatever, plug his head into their machines," Bucky was waving at Tony, to get him to stop, "And wipe his mind." Tony continued on, even after Natasha was yelling at him to stop. "They'll erase every memory he has of you, every memory that you share and the ones that you can't even remember."

"Tony!" Nat yelled, astonished at what he was doing.

"They'll wipe his mind clean and it's all your fault," of which Tony didn't know was really true, but he had his suspicions.

Bucky clenched his blood-filled hand, hurling it into the bed, yelling "Don't you think I already know that?!"

"Then why didn't you do something to save him?" Tony shot back. If he cared about Steve so much, why did he just sit by and let Hydra take him? Why did he let them win?

Bucky rubbed his face with his clean hand, shaking his head. "You don't get their hold on us. Hydra has full control. I couldn't do anything."

Pepper was the one to ask what they were all wondering. "Wait a minute… Were you acting under their orders?"

The others chimed in after that, all asking questions like "Are you with Hydra?", "How long have you been with them?", "Are you with them still?" and thinking that they should just throw him out.

Bucky heard them all, but ignored them. He turned to Natasha, not looking her in the eye. "Can you promise me something?"

The others were quieted when Bucky spoke, almost too soft for them to hear him.

"What is it?" Nat responded.

"If Steve doesn't get out of this," she tried to stop him right there, but he grabbed her wrist and made her listen, "If he dies, I do. I want you to find the most painful death for me."

Why did they ask her to do these things? "I can't." Nat thought about the promise she made to Steve.

""You need to," Bucky looked up then, his eyes grey instead of their usual blue, "I can't live knowing that my actions sent him to his death."

Nat swallowed. "If you tell us what's going on."

"You promise?"

Nat nodded her head in his direction. "Do you?"

Bucky started without a thought. "My mission never changed. I was sent to kill Steve Rogers. I came here for that reason, and to collect information on you all. They never needed to go looking for me because they knew I was here the whole time."

Tony knew it. He knew it back when Hydra raided the tower and he sent Steve and the bastard to the House.

"You work for Hydra," Nat stated. They all felt so stupid.

"I wanted to leave. I've tried so many times. All they do is find me and erase my reasons for wanting to leave. no one gets what kind of hold they had on me. It's all you know. "For the betterment of Hydra," they told me. That's what I would tell the targets."

"Why couldn't you tell us about Hydra?"

"If I could? No, I can't even say that. I couldn't say anything. They make us stay silent."

"Then why can you tell us about them now?" Sam asked.

Bucky shook his head. "No idea. Probably because I broke out of their grip so soon after they had me comply." Nat asked what that meant and he actually forgot that they didn't know. "Their brainwashing. They have you comply to do what they want. They use trigger phrases that've been implanted into my subconscious. I've never broke out of it so soon before."

"Did Steve make you break out of it?"

Bucky's mouth flattened, much like his heart. "Yeah."

"Why couldn't you leave? Wasn't your being here endangering him?" Bruce asked, since everyone seemed to be talking.

"Run from Hydra and leave Steve, or stay with him and face them." Bucky's voice began to tremble, much like his lower lip. "I chose to stay. I chose him and I couldn't even tell him that because he'd probably try to take them all on at once, the proud bastard. I couldn't leave him and this is where it got us." He sniffled and wiped his mouth. "I was supposed to run off a long time ago, but I couldn't find in myself to. I'm a damn coward that chose to stay and look what happened." He chose to stay with Steve and let his feelings for the man grow instead of running and never developing those feelings. In retrospect, it would've been a hell of a lot easier if he never let his heart control his actions. None of that would've happened to Steve if he never went back with his to the tower that day.

"You really couldn't have told us that you're with Hydra, or were, or whatever your affiliation is?" Clint asked.

"I wanted to. Believe me, if not anything else, I wanted to tell you all." Bucky rubbed at the blood on his mouth. "I hate that he was hurt and I hate that he was taken because of me. I love the damn idiot but I was fucking programmed to not say anything against Hydra." Bucky continued, not being able to see the looks that everyone was giving him and each other. "And besides, you see what happened when they found out I wasn't really on their side. I chose Steve over Hydra and they found out. They tried to kill me off and took Steve so they can can try to replicate what they did with me."

Bucky looked at them, not registering that they were trying not to burst about Bucky admitting that he loved Steve. He looked to Nat, the same look on her face. "You know, you may not have to kill me." He smiled down at his chest. "Feels like I'm dying already."

Tony laughed once. "One can only hope."

Bucky looked at him, right at him. "You don't get it, not that I'd expect you to."

"Oh wah, wah," Pepper tried to stop him before he said anything he regretted, but Tony went on. "So lemme guess, you'd rather die than live without him and all that shit? You sound like such a little bitch right now."

Bucky didn't even know what to say. He tried to think of something, but he was only ever good at snarky remarks when it was with Steve. He looked away, the air hitting his cheeks and the drying tears on them.

Wait. He didn't need to think about what to say. He would just say it.

"I feel like I'm dying without him. I feel like my heart is tearing itself up and gnawing at the rest of my chest." Bucky looked at Tony, trying to get him to understand. "There's no point in having the damn painkillers because they can't do anything for what I'm feeling."

He started getting louder, his broken body, heart, and soul straining desperately to keep up with the demand. He was trying not to cough while he spoke, trying not to spit up more blood. "I know that this is all my fault, I will never deny that. You don't have to be such an idiot and keep blaming me because I will always blame myself more than any of you-"

His throat was filled with blood again, it spilling into and out of his mouth and into his hand. Nat rubbed his back again, telling Bucky to stop doing that.

"They already have him," Bucky coughed, "There's nothing that you can say or do that'll hurt me."

"Stop talking," Nat ordered and stood, directing her attention to everyone.

"Clint, you know first hand what kind of trouble people like us get into. You got me out of the KGB and I redeemed myself." Clint gave her a look. "Somewhat," she added, knowing that look. Nat looked down at Bucky, understanding what he was going through, "I know what it's like to be so far in that there's no end in sight. I know what it takes to get people to trust you again, after all the wrong you've done." She looked back up. "I'm with him on this. He never wanted to do any of it. It's just following orders."

They all seemed to forget Natasha's past when they were judging Bucky's.

"I haven't been here long, so I probably don't count as much for or against anyone's cause, but I'm with you two on this," Bruce said, nodding at Nat and Bucky.

"Why?" Bucky didn't think anyone had any reason to be on his side anymore. He didn't deserve it. He guessed he never did.

"It doesn't matter what you did in your past," Bruce replied, "it matters what you decide to do in your future, acting off of the things that happened in your past, the things you can't change."

Sam, Clint, Pepper, Nick, and Phil thought about that. No one has a perfect past. You can't learn if you never fail in something. A good person isn't the one that never screws up, it's the one that knows how to act after they do mess up.

"Okay, okay," Tony said, holding his hands up to interrupt everyone's thoughts. "Before we all get into a big fight about this, let's not." His arms went to his side. "I'm willing to bet the farm we're all going to be on the same side eventually, so there's no point in arguing over it now."

Tony walked to the bed, crossing his arms at Bucky. "You're a pussy."

Bucky sat back, ready for the slew of insults that Tony was about to give him.

"You're a coward and a poor excuse for a man. Steve deserves better than you, and you know that. You're sitting here crying like a little girl. You're not doing one very significant thing that'll save him. Just sitting here like a little flower and blowing in the wind."

"Do you have a point or do you just want me to get mad at you?" Bucky knew that getting mad at Tony was pretty inevitable. Because it's Tony.

"That is my point. You're already through the sadass mopey stage." Bucky looked up at him when he paused, which was exactly what he wanted. "You're overdue with the sad shit. Now it's time for you to get angry."

Bruce's head popped up like it was on the end of a spring. He raised his hand, "I- I would know some about that."

Bucky didn't remember his feelings for Steve. They didn't come back to him. The memory of him telling Steve came back, but the feeling was new to him. Meaning he fell in love with Steve twice.

It was when his mother died. Steve tried to go home, but he took Bucky's offer and went over to his place. He joked about setting sofa cushions on the floor and camping out like when they were kids. He knew that wouldn't happen. Bucky also knew that they wouldn't sleep separate. He started crying, so Bucky got him into bed and held him until he fell asleep.

Bucky woke up with a little Steve Rogers in his arms, looking up at him with tormenting blue eyes. He told him then, with those eyes latched into a stare with his.

"I love you, Steve."

Steve laughed. He laughed, playing it off like the love of a friend. "Love you too, pal." Steve didn't want to mistake it for the wrong thing. He didn't want to be the one to say it as more than a friend, didn't want to be denied.

"No, I mean… Steve, I'm…" Steve looked up at him, not knowing how his eyes tore Bucky up inside. "I'm in love with you." He gave emphasis by poking his head out, then letting it retreat with his last three words.

Steve didn't want to believe it, in case it wasn't real. But his arms threw themselves up at Bucky and his mouth spoke. "Buck, I love you too."

Coulson walked in the War Room, as Tony called it, bringing Bucky back to the present.

"I'm supposed to be dead to him, you know. To Captain Rogers."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Everyone calls him "Captain" but he isn't even a captain."

Phil smiled. "It stuck."

"You need to tell him," Bucky took the shield off of the table, just holding it in his hands. "The longer you put it off, the more it'll hurt him later." Bucky looked up to the man he just met. "You don't have any reason to trust me, but trust me on that. I know."

The others came into the room, all taking a seat. Bucky was the only one standing.

"You know we can't risk going in there unprepared," Fury said as he sat at the other end of the table.

Without looking back at the man he was relieved he didn't kill, Bucky spoke. "We can't wait any longer and risk his memories." They didn't really have a tactic set out, but they couldn't wait any longer. They wouldn't allow Hydra the extra time to prep Steve.

"Alright everyone," he looked back at the screen behind him, a map of the Hydra headquarters. He knew it thoroughly. It was where they took him to be reprogrammed, so he Bucky had been there many times. He smiled at the map, happy that he could use that knowledge against the damn power-hogging shells of human beings. "This is how we get into Hydra."

Under a diamond layer, there were the things that Bucky felt about Steve, what he thought about the man, what he remembered about him. That layer was what kept him from falling in love with Steve again. It was what Hydra did to him to keep their soldier contained. It was stronger when he wasn't with Steve, before they met again after years of being apart.

That layer cracked, revealing the beautiful world under it, revealing the actual thickness of that layer. Bucky thought it was the strongest thing on Earth, that diamond layer. He didn't know that whatever he felt or knew about Steve was buried under a layer as thin as a hair. Steve was buried down in him because of Hydra, but the layer wasn't as deep down as they would have wanted. Bucky realized that what he felt wasn't under some miles-thick layer that was impossible to break. He found out that his love for Steve wasn't buried so deep down after all.

He had a new strength that he never felt before. Bucky knew he had to make sure Steve was alright and get him back, if he could. He wouldn't blame Steve, though, if he hated Bucky and didn't want anything to do with him after it all. He knew he never deserved Steve.

But Bucky had to try.

He fought so hard, with new life, because he knew he couldn't live without Steve.

Natasha noticed that, the new way Bucky was fighting. She shared her thoughts with Fury, who Bucky just apologized to for almost killing, "He's different now, the way he fights. Before, he was fighting because someone told him to." Nat looked at Fury after she kneed a guy in the head. "Now, he's fighting for someone, to save them."

One of the Hydra agents that Bucky actually remembered was trying to run. He was one of the weak ones that would crack under the right pressure. Bucky knew this and took it to his advantage. He picked the guy up by the back of his shirt, throwing him into a wall and pinning him up there.

"Tell me where he is. I already found out that you guys took him somewhere different than my times here. At least, that's what the last guy told me."

The agent was unfazed. "I'm not-"

Bucky didn't let him finish and dislocated his shoulder. "You want every joint dislocated? Every finger and every toe?"

The agent, fazed by that, shook his head passionately.

Bucky moved his head closer, so the man could smell the hatred that came out of his voice, "Then tell me where Steve Rogers is."

after he got the information that he needed, Bucky knocked the guy out and tossed him to the side. "This way," he instructed.

Steve didn't know where he was, who the people were that were hitting him, or even who he was. He just wanted them to stop hurting him. He just wanted to stop hurting.

"Are you ready to comply?" they kept asking him.

He didn't care either way.

All he remembered was that man that broke him, that clawed at his heart for years and decades and tore it out like it was nothing to him after he stopped his clawing. Tormented eyes that he helped to ease. Ears that listened to the things he had to say. Lips that told him lies.

He kept calling out the name of that man that tossed his feelings aside. Like his heart, they were nothing to him, cast aside like the garbage that it was. The people hit him every time he did that, cry out a name that they wanted him to forget. He didn't remember the name after a while, but he could still call it out. No one there understood how he could do that. Their frustrated ignorance made them hurt him more.

He didn't know how many days that he had been there, not that it mattered either. All he knew was pain, and all he wanted was it to stop.

A few times, in between the shocks, he would remember a hard hand in his and not feel pain. Then they would see that and hurt him again. He couldn't tell what they were doing anymore, how they were hurting him. It was all the same. All of it was pain so it didn't matter in what form it was.

They put him in the chair again. He didn't try to get out of it. Didn't matter either. He wanted the pain to stop, but he didn't have the will to make it stop.

"I just want to die," he would say, "Why won't you let me die?"

He didn't know that they couldn't hear him. Everything was muffled, besides the name he shouldn't have been able to say.

In truth, he didn't want to die. He just wanted that hand in his again, but he didn't want to admit that to anyone.

He wanted the man to save him. He knew that man could stop his pain like it did when they met again after all those years. But he didn't want to give in that easily. He didn't want to admit that he wanted that man after letting him play with his heart.

"Back for more?" a man, one of the ones that was hurting him, asked.

"I never left." He thought he said, but no one could understand him through his screams.

Bucky let the man he just punched fall to the floor. "I'm here for him," he said, pointing at the man in the chair, "And to kick ass."

The handler that had made Bucky comply was next to the power switch on the machine they used to wipe his mind, whatever the damned thing was called. He called over a subordinate and took his time walking to Bucky. "Take a deep breath," he said, smiling at Bucky.

Bucky back-pedaled. The handler closed the gap again.

"You know what is best. What is best is you comply."

Everyone watched Bucky struggle, his hands move to his ears and try to block out the words that they used against him.

"Compliance will be rewarded."

Bucky put his head down, looking away from the handler.

"Are you ready to comply?" The handler was smiling at Bucky. He looked up at the SHIELD team, knowing all of their faces. They had no need for the failure anymore, but Hydra could use the Soldier to wipe out the SHIELD team. It would save them the effort of dealing with them.

Then Bucky snorted, continuing his laughter like he was the funniest thing since the invention of the knock-knock joke.

The handler looked down at him, not understanding why he was laughing. Bucky straightened and wiped the invisible tear at his eye.

"That doesn't work on me anymore, you fucking idiot," he said, putting his hand on his hip and shaking his head at the man.

The handler waved at his subordinate, who turned on the chair. Bucky punched his ex-handler right in the teeth and took him by the waist, throwing his upper body into the floor. His head cracked against the concrete and Bucky ran to the man at the power switch. After he dealt with that guy, Bucky told the others what to go to and he himself went to Steve.

He was being hurt again. They shocked him so many times. It felt like he was in the chair more times than they hit him. Then the shocking stopped and he could open his eyes. He saw a man there, instructing a team of others on what they should turn off and what way they should turn things, what buttons to press.

He looked at the metal hand, the one he remembered holding. He reached out for it like an animal attracted to a shiny object, confusing the man in front of him. Yes, he remembered that hand, how it was unexpectedly warm though it was made out of metal.

"Steve?" Bucky asked, not understanding why Steve wasn't looking at him. He reached out for Bucky's hand, of all things.

He thought that maybe it was the thing that Steve could remember about him, like how he could remember Steve's eyes. Then he thought that was childish, that there was no reason for Steve to be like him and hold onto one thing to remember about the other man. That was just him. Steve couldn't be like that too.

"It's always warm," Steve mumbled, rubbing the metal with his thumb.

Steve wasn't all the way through the process, so he shouldn't have had trouble with remembering things other than Bucky's arm. But it was the first thing he looked at, like he was searching for it.

Bucky thought it was funny that Steve remembered his arm over anything else. Out of all the things that Steve could remember… Steve caring so much about his stupid arm made him feel like he shouldn't hate it so much. He felt like he should appreciate it more. Even if he was over thinking and Steve didn't hold onto his arm to remember, Steve trying to get Bucky to like his arm more made him actually want to.

Tony looked at the man on the ground. He knew him. Even when the man had sunglasses on back when what felt like years ago, he knew him. He knew that voice that brought the news, that voice that formed the words about who killed his parents.

"Son of a bitch," Tony said aloud.

Nat asked him what was wrong. Tony sounded taken aback.

"This is the guy who told me Tin Man offed my parents."

The team looked at him like he was about to do something to the man and they should stop him.

"Why does everyone think that I'm going to start killing people? It's getting kind of offensive."

Bucky turned back to Steve, happy with knowing the rat that told Tony about something he couldn't even remember doing.

"Bucky?" Steve said, finally looking at him.

"Yeah?" Steve grabbed at his jacket, searching him like he didn't believe Bucky was really there.

"That's your name, right?"

Bucky's smile disappeared. "Yeah, it is. Do you know who I am?" He had to ask.

"You're the guy who slashed my heart out," Steve said like he was answering a question on a test. It was informative, without emotion. He was stating a fact.

Bucky exhaled, his gaze downcast. "You're right. What else do you know?" Steve should have only been on the verge of forgetting. Whatever Hydra did to him in the two days since he was taken couldn't have been enough to wipe his entire memory.

"I wanted you to come, even though I'm mad at you." Steve could remember his name again. He told himself he didn't want Bucky to come save him, but he knew he was lying to himself. More than wanting the pain to stop, he wanted to see Bucky again, even if he couldn't remember his face or even remember wanting that.

"I remember you calling me a queer," Steve said without holding back. He was still out of it, so he couldn't understand the look that Bucky gave him.

Bucky closed his eyes and sighed. "I was trying to push you away, so I could run off and not get you trapped in my mess with Hydra. Do you understand that?" He wanted Steve to get that he never meant that. It hurt knowing he was still thinking about that.

"But they still got to me."

Bucky wasn't sure how much longer he could stand. His knees were going to give out if Steve wouldn't come to his senses. He was being brutally blunt, but Bucky knew he didn't deserve anything less than that. "And I'm not going to let that happen ever again. For as much as my shoulder fucking hurts right now and when it hurt when they shot me, it hurt so much more seeing that look of betrayal on your face, Steve."

"Is that an apology?" Steve smiled at him, forcing a smile out of Bucky. It was always hard for him to not smile back at that contagious smirk.

"No. You deserve more than an apology."

"You look like a baby without your beard." Steve felt more like himself with every moment that Bucky was next to him. He told himself he wouldn't let Bucky in so easily if he could remember what Bucky did, but he didn't have it in him to stay mad.

"I can't win with you, can I?"

The handler woke up, coming back to consciousness, with a flight stabilizer in his face.

"Move and I get the satisfaction of killing your dumb ass," Tony said.

"It's no use, agent," the handler was speaking to Bucky, "You cannot outrun Hydra. Even if you escape here, you cannot-"

"Would you shut the hell up?" Bucky turned to the man. "Just shut up because I have full intention of getting the hell out of this shitbox and marrying this prick the second he lets me," Bucky said, pointing at said prick behind him with his thumb. Bucky turned to Steve, sighing. "Do you believe these idiots?"

Steve's eyebrows lifted and he moved himself up in the chair. "You're going to have to say that again after I stop feeling like I just had lightning hit me a thousand times." Steve looked up at Bucky, remembering himself more. "And you have a lot of redeeming to do."

"I know, I know," Bucky reassured, helping Steve sit up better, "You have time to hate me later, but for now just… listen." Bucky took Steve's hand, looking back at Nat to get encouragement from her. She nodded at Steve, her eyes wide. "What're you asking me for?"

Bucky turned to Steve, holding both of his hands. "The star of my arm? It's blue because it reminds me of your damn eyes."

His arm. That's what Steve… "Buck."

"Your eyes were the thing that I held onto more than anything else. I remembered them before anything else about you. I held onto them like my life depended on it. And I know that's true because I know I can't live without you in my life. My name was never meant to be used without you saying it." He wasn't looking at Steve's eyes because of how nervous he was.

"Of all the things that they erased, of all the things that I could've forgotten, I still remember you… Sort of." Steve smiled at that. "They tried to get rid of you from my past, but you're stuck there like the rope holding us together." That's right. What they thought was a string holding their lives together was actually a rope. It wasn't about to break on them. "I've messed up in the past, tried to tie that rope back together, and now I know. I can't feel whole without you there, even if I could forget you."

If he was going to get even the slightest bit sappy, Bucky was going to go all-out. Even if it was in front of the team.

"You'll always be my mission because I revolve around you. I'm always there, wherever you are. My life is consumed by you and I don't want it any other way. I know that I'm just an idiot with three holes in his chest, two from bullets and the third being from my actions against you." Bucky raised Steve's hands to his face, putting them next to his cheek. "The objectives of my mission have changed. I'm not going to kill you, and I have a feeling I was never going to. My next objective in my mission that is you is to marry your dumb ass."

"Bucky-" Steve tried to say, though he had no words.

"Shush, I'm not done." Bucky kissed Steve's hands and continued on. "I won't keep anything from you anymore, because I can't hurt you again by keeping the truth from you. You're going to know every last detail about me until you tell me to stop. It's all or none, Rogers, so deal."

Steve didn't know what the hell Bucky was doing. Well, he had a pretty great idea of what he was doing, but he just didn't believe that Bucky was doing it in front of everyone. He guessed that Bucky didn't have a reason to hide it from anyone.

Bucky took a stabilizing breath. He didn't get why he was so nervous about it. It's not like Steve hadn't mentioned how he felt about Bucky somewhat before. "Steven Grant Rogers." Why was he all giddy and nervous and hesitant? He just wanted to get it over with, but wanted to do it right. He was the one that made Steve promise to let him say it first, after all. "First of all, don't think I'm just returning your affection, and I don't just feel this because I know how you feel. I know that as well as I know your eyes are blue, how good your heart is, and for as much as I know you're right here in front of me and that this isn't a dream or nightmare of mine, I know that I am completely and wholly in love with you."

Bucky still felt like his heart was going to explode, but it wasn't a bad feeling. "I know what you skin feels like, what your smile does to me, that my heart literally beats because you're with me, and I know that I love you. I know it because I have felt our very souls touch, brought together by a connection like a steel cable, and I know that I am completely in love with what you were, what your are, and what you will come to be."

Steve always had the fear that Bucky loved him because Steve loved him first. Like loving someone only because they knew that they were loved. His fear was completely washed out, like what his eyes were threatening to do. "Did you write that down somewhere first?" Steve laughed, his eyes ready to burst.

Bucky's eyes gave out first. "No," he shook his head, looking down then back up.

Steve pulled Bucky to him. "All of that was on-the-spot?"

Bucky put his head in Steve's neck, breathing in his almost floral scent. "I have no idea what I just said. I don't even remember it all."

"No worries," Tony piped in, making the two break apart to look at him. "Got it all," he said, tapping his helmet.

"You can bet that'll be on the Internet tomorrow," Sam guaranteed.

"I love you too, just so you know." Steve told Bucky. He didn't have any redeeming to do, so his confession didn't have to be so long. Confession shouldn't be the word used to describe it, though… His validation.

It seemed that, even after he forgot then remembered saying it, Bucky was always meant to be the one to say "I love you" first.

They got Steve out of the chair and made sure he was fine to move around so they could get out of there. Hydra was trying to retaliate, but the team was taking their time. They had full confidence, with the two seniors back together, that they would get out of there without a problem. The Hydra agents felt their confidence, being that they didn't try as much as they could have to get to them. They knew that if there were two trained super-soldiers and a room full of battle-hardened experts, no one was offering to be the first to try and take them down.

"Why didn't you fight back, jerk?" Bucky asked, elbowing Steve, "When Hydra got to you." He knew that he was the one who was called a jerk, but he didn't want everything to be like it was in his past.

"Because I thought I didn't have a reason to anymore, punk." Steve knew the exchange of names was wrong too, but he was happy not to correct Bucky.

"They could have super-soldier babies together!" Clint said, following up with an "awww" of adoration.

Tony looked at Clint like he needed to get away from him before he caught the stupid. "If you gave me a week, it wouldn't be enough time to explain to you why that wouldn't work and give you all the reasons why."

Steve took Bucky's hand, squeezing the metal. "You're wrong, you know."

Bucky looked over at him. "About what?"

"I could never hate you. It isn't in me to hate you." Steve wasn't smiling, but his eyes told Bucky he wasn't lying.

Bucky looked to the others. "So now what?"

"What else is there?" Steve asked, getting Bucky to look at him again. Steve smiled at Bucky, his world, that he knew he would spend the rest of his life with. "We kick ass."

Steve finding out about Bucky working with Hydra? It wasn't the end of the line. It was the beginning of a new, stronger line.

In that smile, that smile that was all that Steve Rogers could be with one corner of his mouth higher than the other and his eyebrows raised and his forehead all wrinkled, Bucky knew that they would get out of there fine. He knew from that smile that, if they were together, they would be nothing less than fine.

Nothing else mattered. Not Hydra, not the views of the public, nothing. All that mattered was Bucky's hand in Steve's, that they had each other. It was the only thing that ever really mattered to them, even if one didn't remember it for a while when the other was in ice. The other man was the only thing that they ever really needed.

Author's Note

Thank you, to anyone, who stuck it out until the end to read my little story. It was a fun ride :)