AN: The slew of thoughts bouncing around in my head manifested itself as a massive word vomit and a single .doc simply labeled "Bleach." After an attempt to organize and edit fragments of the aforementioned document into a somewhat coherent drabble, I give you what is probably the first of many. I also have no idea how to genre-tize this (What on earth is "Hurt/Comfort" and when did 'General' stop being a valid category option?), so I apologize if I accidentally steered you wrong in that regards.

Spoilers: Spoilers for ch. 423-424 or ep. 342-343

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

Word Count: 482

She thinks there is nothing worse than seeing him injured. Until she sees him suffer.

She sees him falter, and, before she can respond, her sinking premonition becomes reality. He cries out in pain, and she watches him fall in torturously slow motion. Even as she rushes to his side, she recognizes its futility; she cannot save him. Helpless, she watches as he writhes in pain. It is agony.

It stops almost as quickly as it began, and consciousness leaves him. She's not sure which is worse, the cries of excruciating pain or stillness like death. As they gather around him and carry him home, she can't help but think bitterly that seeing Ichigo in pain is inevitably more painful than experiencing her own. Nothing is worse than seeing him injured.

.

Urahara gathers the group together, quietly pulling them aside, as if their voices could somehow disturb the comatose boy. It is only when she catches the somber look on the normally carefree man's face that she realizes there is something far worse than mere injury. Before the shopkeeper can finish his report, she returns to the boy. She spends a month by his side; she knows it is her last.

.

There is no sweetness in this parting, only overwhelming sorrow. She wonders which is worse, to be the one unseen or to be unable to see at all. This will be her penance, she decides, for dragging him into a mess he had no place in. She will gladly bear this punishment for all the pain she's caused and the danger she's continually placed him in. It is a small price to pay to keep him unharmed.

.

She spends the first few weeks returning every moment she can, and she has plenty to spare. Her superiors give her time to recuperate, to ease back into her former role. No one states the obvious; her injures healed long ago. The trips back to the living world are strictly business, to ensure Karakura Town is safe and to watch over the rebuilding process. It is only natural, of course, that she spend the most time observing its most damaged individual.

As she watches him return to his normal routine, it doesn't take long to see his health has been restored. But as she observes his drained mien and watches him drag himself through life, it's obvious something inexplicably Ichigo is missing. His strength has returned, but his spirit has not. The fight has left him; the fire in his eyes, extinguished. He's lost his purpose; she's taken it from him, somehow. He no longer has the power to protect the ones he loves. Sometimes, she catches a glimpse of his eyes and is caught by the drastic change in them. The familiar intensity has vanished, and everything she's known about this man is gone. He's never been safer, but she's slowly watching him die.

.

She's losing him again, and it's more than she can bear.

Fin.

AN: As always, thoughts, comments, and constructive criticism appreciated.