Disclaimer : I don't own. JKR does.

Harry's birthday and you're hand-me-downs-second-choice.

(as always)

"Happy birthday", you say and smile and, mostly, it's genuine.

Choke, and it's Harry's day. It is. He's turned twenty, and he looks healthy and he's alive.

The world is thankful. You are too. Of course you are, he is your best mate.

Hermione's laugh has an echo. It reverberates into your being, leaves a hollow sound in your ears.

Ginny dances and you think you have a beautiful sister.

Laugh, and it's Harry's day, and the sound is contagious, the room laughs along. There; you shared happiness and, mostly, you feel fake.

Neville tells a joke and shies at the attention, and Harry pats his shoulder fondly, because it wasn't funny.

He's kind like that, Harry. Your best mate.

Draco kisses him and he kisses back and the room catcalls and whistles.

Smile, and it's Harry's day and it's not okay to begrudge him happiness. God knows he deserves it, Harry.

Your best mate.

Hermione's laugh has an echo. Harry's laugh follows.

Draco's hand holds his.

Draco's hand holds his. Harry's.

Your best mate's hand.

Not yours.

"To the boy who lived", Neville toasts and Harry scowls at him, because he's modest like that, Harry.

"Congratulations", you say and smile and, mostly, it hurts.

"You look good together", you add, just to make sure the knife has pierced you right through.

Harry hugs you tight, whispers 'thank you', whispers 'God. Ron, I'm so happy', whispers 'I'm glad you're ok with it', whispers 'Draco is the best thing that-'

You stop listening.

Breathe and it's Harry's day and when you eyes meet Draco's, he smiles and, mostly, it's happy.

"This isn't working", he told you that day.

"Let's break up", he told you that day.

That day, you know. That day your heart didn't twist or bend or break.

"There's someone else?" you'd asked him and, mostly, your voice hadn't shook.

"Yeah", he'd said.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's someone else.

Yeah, there's Harry.

Your best mate.

Your best mate.

Your-

Seamus drinks and drinks and laughs.

Dean tells a joke and basks at the laughs, and Hermione hits his shoulder, because the joke was dirty.

Cry and it's Harry's day and you really should wipe the snot off and get the hell out of the bathroom before Harry comes looking for you, out of concern.

He's considerate like that, Harry.

Your best mate.

Break into pieces then pick them up and fix the jigsaws into the wrong places and get out of the bathroom and walk, walk, walk and sit and smile and choke and laugh and-

Harry's hand holds Draco's.

Draco's hand holds Harry's.

Hermione's laugh has an echo to it.

Harry's birthday and you're hand-me-downs-second-choice.

(as always)

"Happy birthday", you say.

-end-.