China's still flipped in the world. But unfortunately, the mystics are still on vacation, so no one's available to fix that. Or if anyone's not, they lack the magical power to move a whole physical country the size of China. The camera looms over an empty amount of open world off to the east, which was originally west. Suddenly, a stack of enormous burger patties appears to form a tall, building-sized, as well as crooked, burger. Echoing amused cackling follows from an unknown source, likely upwards. Another stack is formed right by it and a stone path goes through between them. More items appear all over the empty span of land, all of the items being things you find in an amusement park, especially rides.

"What the...?"

From a hidden camp in the mountains near the developing amusement park, Zheng Jiang watches with a few bandits as these giant machines and contraptions materialize out of thin air to be set on the ground by some invisible force.

To all of my officers,

I've thought of something fun we can do. Let's all go to that amusement park that opened up a few provinces over. People speak who've been there speak highly of it, so it should be fun. Yes, everyone has to go. It's a group activity to build bonds between us as friends and comrades, and I already bought tickets for everyone. The park is called "Freedom World" and it's apparently themed on the culture of a faraway country. Sounds interesting and fun to me! Pack your bags and meet at the palace. We're all going there together!

From Cao Cao

Cao Cao,

I do not feel like it. I am fatigued from having to deal with the threats yesterday. Not to mention the fact there is a current threat that we all must be on high alert for. We just took a vacation, so us taking another one is bad for public image. Maybe hold off on that for another time. I am sure the park will be around by the time the issues have been dealt with.

To all my officers,

Also, we're staying at Freedom World for three days. Anyone who wants to go home at night instead of staying at the in-park hotel can do so if they wish, but you have to come back the next morning. I already paid for everyone's tickets and expenses, so this is not optional. We WILL have fun together as friends, family, and comrades at this amusement park. This park has been highly rated by its visitors, so I'm sure even the biggest sticks in the mud among you (not pointing any fingers) will be able to enjoy yourselves. I know we just had a vacation, but think of it more as a team-building exercise if you wish.

Cao Cao

Sima Yi looks up from reading the last letter with a simple,"F*bleep*."

It cuts to Sima Yi standing with all of the other Wei officers before the amusement park entrance. It's a casual outing, so assume everyone's in their civilian clothes. He has to walk through the cave that was the park's entrance, which of course, he has to point out for Cao Cao,"Sir, surely a place that has its guests walk through a cave means something is wrong."

"I wonder why was there a cave in the middle of mostly flat land." Xun Yu pointed out.

"It has to be manmade then, which adds onto more of this place's uniqueness."

Sima Yi shoves his hands into his sleeves, grumbling,"I can't believe we have to stay here for three days... Who does that...? You cannot force people to come and stay at a place they never wanted to come to in the first place and expect them to have fun... They will only do the opposite of that..."

"It's important that we try to strengthen bonds with each other."

"I am sure at this point our bonds are at max level..." A quick look into the bonds info for Sima Yi shows he has max level with his playable family, Deng Ai, and Guo Huai. Within Wei, he has max bond with Cao Cao, Cao Pi, Xiahou Dun (from being arrested by him too many times, likely a negative bond), Xun Yu (self-explanatory), Jia Xu, Guo Jia (well it's not like you can LOSE bond level), Li Dian (bond levels seem to disregard how well/bad you treat the person so), Cai Wenji (unintentionally maxed out), Zhang He (past games counted for his bond), and Wang Yi (DW7 interactions carried over). The rest have at least half-level bond or more with him.

"Well, spend time with other people."

(No.) "Those bond levels are max for a reason."

As the group walks along the stone path that was right before the cave, speakers along either side of it blare out in almost a threatening tone,"Welcome to Freedom Park. You will experience total American freedom."

"I've never heard of this 'American'. What makes it different from normal freedom?" asked Cao Pi.

The speakers continue,"You will consume. You will eat. You will have fun at this park."

Sima Yi scoffs,"I see now. This place is a brainwashing center. Sir, you've let yourself fall prey to this place. Xun Yu, examine his brain for any signs of mind control."

"I did that prior to coming here. No results."

"I told myself I wouldn't point fingers at the sticks in the mud, but you two make it so obvious that I do not need to." Cao Cao remarked.

"You will breastfeed a pigeon." The speakers blared, which prompts Sima Yi to turn right on around to walk in the opposite direction. However, he does not get very far as Xiahou Dun catches him to turn him right back around at Cao Cao's command.

The speakers blare the rest,"You will come to Uncle Sam. You will have fun or else you will get into the dreaded freedom pit. You're gonna eat burgers, burgers, BURGERS. You're gonna eat two motherf*bleep*ers. I hate you all. Gimme your money." Then it loops.

"I hate this place already." Sima Yi said. (I want to create a black hole that will destroy everything in this godforsaken area.) The stone path is hilariously long, so Sima Yi is treated to about three loops of the same greeting before snapping and blowing up a speaker when it got to the "you will breastfeed a pigeon" line.

"Sima Yi, don't damage the property!" Cao Cao scolded him.

"Tell me, who exactly did you pay for these tickets? If you cannot tell me, then definitely I can cause some destruction to help cope with my simmering rage."

"Does it matter? Do not harm someone's business just because you are a whiny stick up the ass. If you are going to maintain such a bad attitude, at least do not spread that to others."

"I hope a mechanical monster attacks us for all three days then."

Xun Yu gasps,"Why would you say that? We normally try to avoid that."

"Heh, jokes on you. If you say you want to be attacked, you will be reverse-psychologied and for all three days, it will be peaceful." Jia Xu comments from some place in the back.

Sima Yi tenses up as he lets that thought flicker through his head,"That's right...! No, there's still time!" He says out loud,"Uhhh, gee, I hope no evil monster terrorist doesn't attack us soon...! It would be really bad for Xun Yu's mental health and mine as well...! Please do it now when my magic power is weakened...!"

"Stop, just accept it. These three days will pass in due time." Xun Yu says. "While I myself am not in favor to this poor excuse for slacking off, we could use this chance to make our enemies confident in themselves, leaving them vulnerable. Likely the information about our departure wouldn't be known until a day has passed or perhaps two."

"I hope so..."

The group passes by a random bush that no one bothers to point out despite it being the only existing bush on the entire surface they are walking on. Peeking out of it is a masked bandit that starts running out of the place, taking the bush with them. They run on the outskirts out of sight of the amusement park's entrance to report back to Zheng Jiang on who they saw amongst the people walking in. She smirks at hearing that Sima Yi and Xun Yu being among them,"Ah, perfect. We can eliminate them when they least expect it. With those foreign machines, we do not even have to sully our hands. Mobilize in small units, but look like civilians. We must figure out anything in that place that can be of use to kill them."

Apparently this amusement park has a hotel, so the group first heads there. The hotel is placed on the top of a random hill that the party has to climb a winding spiral staircase too. Complaints about the design were made. As Sima Yi walks up the stairs, he looks over the railing to see a pole with a half-dome-ish object (a taco) stuck on the top of it followed by a bunch of taco stands surrounding it spontaneously appear around it.

"...What the...?" Yi then shifts his eyes to see a swing ride had also magically plopped itself into existence near the taco area. He gives Xun Yu a tug to ask,"Do you sense some kind of magic aura from this place?"

"No, do you?"

"Not at all, but there's things just appearing out of thin air."

"Are you sure-" Xun Yu looks beyond Sima Yi and over that railing, he sees a roller coaster in the middle of being constructed magically to become the most unsafe contraption in this park.

"Wait, no one's seeing that...?!"

"See what?" asked Guo Jia as he looked over to that roller coaster, which is now done and running within the few seconds that passed. A coaster car zips through a series of random loops before going up and down sudden peaks with actual people on them. Guo Jia points to it as it flies by,"Say, I think I saw one of the Samurai on that."

Sima Yi and Xun Yu lock their eyes on the car for a bit until it suddenly poofs into thin air and the roller coaster gets edited before their eyes as more coils are included so that it goes over the stairs they are on at the moment. The car appears again without warning at the start of the ride to now zip through the new track and when it goes through the new coils, Sima Yi sees a head of bright yellow hair before it slaps his face combined with delighted howling. The car went too fast to determine the face, but at this point, Sima Yi figures out,"It's Keiji."

"So this place attracted them as well." Cao Cao comments. "See? What did I tell you? People like it here."

"Uh-huh..."

The rooming situation is that the women have a room to themselves, free of any men while the men have to share, with each room containing four guys each. The hotel is mediocre in terms of quality. All of the rooms have two single beds with accompanying nightstands and a lamp. There is some room between the beds and a drawer with a single, old TV sitting on top of it. It's one of those larger, bulkier models. The remote is one of the drawers. There is only one bathroom.

"Wow, I rather just fast-travel back home than stay overnight here." Sima Yi remarked as he examines the room. "People can live in this?" His room is shared with Xun Yu, Guo Jia, and Xun You. Sima Yi tells the three of them,"You can hope to not share a bed with me as I am not cramming myself into those beds with any of you."

"You're willing to travel back and forth for the night?" asked Guo Jia. "Won't that be exhausting?"

"Ah, I have fast-travel."

"Right, but having to go through a loading screen is annoying."

"I'm willing to go through that if it means I do not have to spend my valuable sleeping time in this place."

Xun Yu tells them soon after,"I will be heading back home to sleep as well. I have to check with the scouts anyway about any disturbances before nightfall. Guo Jia and Gongda can have those beds without having someone in them."

"Or they might with each other." Sima Yi crudely added.

"Only with consent and that they practice protection."

"Oh, who am I kidding? Guo Jia's not going to as he's now a generic."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Guo Jia asked, offended.

"Oh, now that you refuse to have sex, you're about as interesting as a character as the closest generic."

"I can be interesting without sex!"

"Wine doesn't count when nearly everyone else has that about them."

"I have..." Guo Jia opens his mouth, but no words come out. He takes a couple seconds to stall before having to say,"I WILL have something."

"Sure."

There is one window that lets Xun You catch the sight of a tower of taco stands suddenly appearing, which he points out for the others. The four all exit the room to see the tower for themselves and surely enough, there is a taco stand tower adding more of itself until it reached the sky before it disappears instantly.

"This place is weird." Xun You says simply.

"Well, it seems to be better than what normally happens around here." Guo Jia adds. "I am curious, actually. Let's get down."

"...The stairs..." Xun You looked down at the spiral steps leading back down to terra firma with tiredness sweeping his face.

"You can just hop down."

Sima Yi demonstrates by jumping over the railing to land perfectly unharmed back down on the ground. Amazing that Warriors games do not have fall damage. The others shrug to follow suit as that's better than walking down the long set of stairs.

Sima Yi is left in free roam mode and the only other person following him around is Xun Yu since he assumes Sima Yi has a chance, no matter how big, of attempting to blow stuff up.

"I am not going to put civilians in danger. I would only destroy those annoying talking boxes."

"Destruction of private property is not something I would like us to be associated with. Please refrain from that."

Another outrageous roller coaster is constructed in one corner of the park, where it had one giant peak towering over that area. People go to its entrance only to make a full 360 degrees away from it. It now causes the roller coaster to have a stack of burger patties on the track leading down the largest peak. A track also went into the ground. Sima Yi is a distance away from the entrance, watching as people now go in. Among them is Keiji.

"How can he even want to go on a death trap such as that...?"

"Some people just do not have nerves, I suppose."

The two stand by to watch the ride in action, not noticing a few women walking behind them towards the actual ride itself. There are no fences or gates, so anyone can approach the structure without trouble. The loud noises the roller coaster made also help drown out any noises made as the women tampered with the steel bolting using the pommels of swords or axes. One women had the unfortunate position of being near the track that went into the ground, where the coaster car zips by, knocking her down with a resounding boom.

Sima Yi only cared about the fact the car just clipped into the ground and when he sees the car return to its starting place, he sees the car covered in cheeseburger, but not in dirt.

"The hell...?!"

When Keiji stepped off and is walking out, Sima Yi and Xun Yu see him chomping on pieces of beef he got on his person.

"Wow, you get free meat on this ride. Neat." They hear him remark.

The whole roller coaster disappears without any warning, leaving those women confused as they thought they were hitting something. Sima Yi and Xun Yu are confused as well while Keiji whined,"Aw man, I didn't get seconds."

"This place gives off no magic properties, yet so many of the impossible is done here as if it's natural...!"

Instantly replacing the roller coaster is a tall, needled-shaped tower that was a lot taller than the coaster before. A sign plops down at the entrance, along with a pair of railings, reading "Meet GOD (real)".

"That can't be real. That suggests there is one singular god." says Masamune just as he walks up to the sign with Kojuro. "We know better. There are clearly multiple gods, so this is fake as hell."

"It is likely suggesting the god in the Christian faith." Kojuro tells him.

"Well, we have never met him, so he's baloney." Masamune turns to see Sima Yi and greets him,"Oh, you're here too."

"Not out of my own will. I didn't know you partook in these kinds of places."

"I was simply curious. After hearing the things from the others, I had to see what was the hype about. So far, it has been a mixed bag. The food here is overpriced for its quality. Whatever culture 'American' is, they sure suck in terms of their food."

Keiji is still there to comment,"I like the food."

"Well, you'd eat anything, that's not a supporting testimony for 'American' cuisine."

"The machines here are hazards." adds Kojuro. "Masamune got on this ride that took him INTO A BUTT-SHAPED OBJECT and dropped down at speeds no human should ever be subjected to. He vomited the cheap quality food he ate-"

"Hey, hey, we don't talk about that."

Sima Yi asks while pointing to the taco stand area far off from where they are standing at,"Did you happen to be eating the things from there?"

"Yes, actually. Something called a 'taco'. I had such high hopes since it was Spanish-sounding, but it only disappointed me. Tasted like I was eating salty, spicy cardboard."

Kojuro added,"Which is he vomited out shortly after getting off of-"

"Hey, what did I just say about not talking about that?"

Xun Yu asks the two of them,"So are we to assume most of your countrymen are also visiting this park?"

"Well, I definitely remember seeing Nobunaga and his followers."

"Let us assume everyone else decided to come here after hearing things about this place. I know I definitely saw others from the Shu and Wu kingdoms."

"This park has captured the attention of perhaps everyone we know then."

"And yet they are not the ones having to stay here..." grumbled Sima Yi.

Xun Yu tells him,"Perhaps you would find more excitement in snooping around the core of this park's existence."

"Oh boy, I hope it's another demon-possessed owner."

"We do not even know who owns this establishment."

"Well, are you up for some trespassing?"

"Let's call it 'mild investigating' so that I do not feel like we're committing a crime."

"You got room for us? I'd like to give a piece of my mind to the owner about their poor excuse for food." offered Masamune.

"Eh, sure." Sima Yi shrugged. "Worst case scenario is the owner is a powerful magic user. Best case is some loser. But don't you want to spend the rest of your time on the attractions?"

"Well, at this point, all of the rides feel the same."

"What about that thing?" Sima Yi points to the swing ride another distance from them.

"No way, I'll look like a little kid in that!"

Sima Yi sees that he is right as he could spot a little girl with magenta hair spinning around on the ride happily. Xun Yu asks him,"So, where do you want to investigate first?"

"I'd say we head for that." Sima Yi points to the red, tall roller coaster that had just spontaneously appeared into view behind the swing ride.

When the four-man group arrives at the new roller coaster, Kojuro immediately brings their attention to the butt-like object on the track leading up to the highest peak.

"There it is again! There is a butt-shaped object on this ride that people have to 'enter'. Whoever designed that has no class."

The group stands just outside of the entrance to watch the coaster car climb the peak, only to struggle right where the butt was. In fact, it went up, then down, and up only to go down again. Repeatedly. The image makes Masamune make some stifled laughs and snickers while Kojuro could only make a frown. Sima Yi is doing a better job at hiding his mild amusement, but he has a twitching set of lips that is trying to grin. Xun Yu narrows his eyes at the scene,"Really? This is where we're at?" Then he turns to Sima Yi and sees him fighting the urge to grin,"And you should be ashamed of yourself of even finding this amusing."

"Oh come on, Xun Yu, there had been worse moments."

"Huff..."

Then before the two's eyes, they see the roller coaster gains more track that spans further into and around the park.

"Keep an eye on it...! Let's see if we can catch what is exactly creating this so fast...!" But it was no use, the track is really appearing out of thin air. American flags get placed randomly on the track along with eagle balloons. A skyscraper of burger patties is stuck into one of the tracks too.

"That's an ugly flag." Sima Yi said as he points to one of the American flags. "What does it even mean? It's random stars and stripes. What are they supposed to stand for? The color is tacky too."

"Sima Yi, look." Xun Yu points at the coaster car coming in to be loaded up with park guests. The car blasts off at rocket speed, tearing all through the park, the people's screams of course echoing through the air.

"Those are screams of genuine fear...! That thing is a death trap!"

The party has their focus fixed on the speeding car to the point Masamune doesn't notice a woman stealing his pistols from his belt before sneaking off into a totally suspicious bush with a couple others. They pass around the two foreign weapons until one of them accidentally lets their finger press the trigger when the pistol was aimed up, directly into the wheels of the passing coaster car above them. The bullet ricochets off it to hit Sima Yi in the shoulder.

"GAAGH!"

"We got him...!" quietly exclaimed a woman at the bush. "These things are just what the gods above granted us...!" Two women get a pistol each to begin firing the infinite bullets those flintlocks seem to have at Sima Yi and Xun Yu.

"S*bleep*!" Masamune exclaimed. "My pistols were stolen...!"

"Not a problem." Sima Yi holds out his palm and his war fan materializes to expand in size in order to become a spinning deflecting shield that sends the bullets flying straight to the two women in the bush. The bush is now soaked in blood and clattering out of them are the two pistols that Masamune rushes over to pick up. While he's there, he looks over at the bush to see no bodies. The bush also disappears instantly.

"Yeah, this place is weirder than I thought..."

From the looks of the park around them, the gunfire did cause a bit of stir, but the park goers are put at ease when Kojuro goes up to Masamune to publicly "scold" him about carrying such dangerous weapons to a casual setting and "takes" away his pistols. Business carries on as usual after that. Which brings Masamune to ask Sima Yi and Xun Yu,"So how much politics did you two do to get assassination attempts?"

"Hm, so that was directed at us." Sima Yi said. "Then Zheng Jiang cannot be too far."

"Indeed. We have to thank the rashness of her assassins for alerting us." Xun Yu added.

It cuts to a trash bin-bush combination in which a pair of glaring eyes are made at those two through the opening.

"Curses...! I was hoping to get them off-guard at this unknown attraction...! Perhaps I still can." While she continued to scheme in that hiding spot, a mound suddenly forms behind the American roller coaster, bringing the attention of Sima Yi and others. Another mound forms besides it as the party moves closer towards it. They are standing in front of it when a third mound forms behind the set recently made to then rapidly stretch into a thin hill high into the sky. The full image is very crisp and clear to all of them, yet Kojuro just had to state the obvious,"That is a penis."

"Of course it is! We all have them! We would know what it is!" angrily shouts Masamune.

"Of course." Xun Yu said exasperatedly. "It's a bloody penis. Of course there would be one just blatantly in our faces. Whatever forces are at work, they are about as mature as the average prepubescent boy."

"Oh look, it's getting a face." Sima Yi commented as a pair of eyes and bright red lips are attached to the very tip of the tall thin hill. A sparkler is stuck on too for kicks. A very winding walkway appears right by the obvious earthly dick, stretching in unreasonable loops until it reaches down to earth. Then a drink stand is placed at the very top of the trek of a walkway. But no one pays much mind to it when Xun Yu instead points out,"Wait, why isn't that obvious penis not censored?"

"Well, it technically isn't a penis. The tip is too rounded and it has a face."

"...But the base..."

"Phht, no one would bother with those, even with censoring them. Just like in real life."

Nothing was special enough about the giant dick with a face that kept the group around as nearby, the terrain distorts in the form of a very, very deep pit sinking down to the very depths of the ground this game engine would allow. Then a walkway goes over it and an ice cream stand is placed on it.

That's getting investigated too at Masamune's insistence, which Sima Yi finds out later was just a way for him to get close and get ice cream. As Masamune is eating his ice cream, Sima Yi gives him a look that expressed his mild confusion.

"What? I have to see if the ice cream would redeem this place. You cannot go wrong with ice cream."

"And has it gone wrong?"

"..." Masamune takes a moment to shovel down a couple more spoonfuls to say,"I don't think this is real dairy."

"It doesn't seem like he's getting poisoned, so let's not focus on the food here and see what's down.. here...?" Xun Yu looks over the railing of the giant pit to scrunch up his face at the very bottom, where a lit-up heart is positioned.

"What is this?"

"A hell pit opens up to have that. Huh."

"Did someone say 'hell pit'?" Suddenly says Noh there at the railing, startling Xun Yu into almost falling down into said hell pit when Kojuro reaches to yank him back by the loose fabric of his robes. She deeply sighs at the heart down below,"Oh, I love it."

"Did you design this?" asked Sima Yi.

"Oh, I wished. Just look at it. So deep. So wide. It beckons to me to just hop down, but I won't."

"That misshaped heart really doing wonders on you..."

Noh turns to him and invades his bubble when she whispers to him,"Do you not feel it call out to you? To join those who reside in Hell?"

"No. Please get away or I'm tossing you over to Hell."

"Oh yes, please do!"

"Please don't!" shouts Xun Yu.

"There are children approaching." Kojuro adds on. "Please compose yourself, Lady Noh."

"Oh yes, that's right." Noh pulls herself away from Sima Yi. She turns to look ahead of the walkway, where Gracia and Xiao Qiao are running towards the ice cream stand. "I see this stand attracts all sorts of children."

"Hey, I'm not a child. I just wanted something to help combat the heat." Masamune says, finishing up his ice cream.

Upon arriving before the ice cream stand, Gracia finally realizes that it's Sima Yi in different clothes to happily greet him,"Oh hello there, Sima Yi! Are you here for the ice cream too?"
"No, I hate sweets."

"Aw, really? You should give them a try some time."

Xiao Qiao whines before the stand,"Aw, I don't have any money... Did you bring any, Gracia?"

"I think I spent what I given at the last ride..."

After a minute of mental back and forth with himself, Sima Yi unconsciously goes to offer to pay for them, sighing,"Look, I'll pay for it if it gets you two out-"

A purple blur rockets in between Sima Yi and the girls, shouting,"That won't be necessary! I will pay for it!" It is Mitsuhide.

"Oh... Okay... Sure... Just get them and Noh here away from this place once you're done. The hell pit is no place for women and children."

"Hell pit?" Mitsuhide looks over the railing to see said hell pit to agree,"Definitely."

"It's getting really crowded here." comments Masamune. "I hope this doesn't trigger something. Like, if this is an actual hell pit, anyone who is on here is a sacrifice."

"Oh no, was the ice cream a trap?" Sima Yi, Xun Yu, and Kojuro all asked in horror.

"...S*bleep*."

"Language, Masamune." Mitsuhide sternly tells him while giving him a side-eye.

"I am a grown man! I can say 's*bleep*' whenever I want!"

"Shoot, I hope there isn't a maximum capacity on this place..."

Right when he said that, Zhou Yu comes running to the end of that walkway over the hell pit, sighing in relief at finding Xiao Qiao there.

"Ah, so this is where you ran off. It wouldn't kill you to at least tell me where you were going."

The walkway behind Zhou Yu disappears suddenly, trapping everyone near the ice cream stand on this little island of a platform above the artificial hell pit.

"Well crap, looks like we're all stuck here." Sima Yi groaned. "I am going to guess we're all having a one-way ticket to Hell."

"Oh no!" exclaims everyone.

"Oh yes..." moaned Noh.

The platform does not take them to Hell, much to everyone's relief except for Noh, but instead, a mascot drops down to share the space with them. It is a brown disk-donut-thing with a mustached face wearing a police hat. It had blue human legs. It doesn't say anything or make any form of noise. It just stands there, waving a spatula with a police badge engraved on it.

"...Who's this?"

Everyone watches the weird creature do its little idle animation until more mascots start dropping down to occupy the little space on that island walkway. And they do not stop appearing. They keep appearing until they clip into each other and are almost pushing all of the important characters close to the railing with the space they take up.

"What the hell are these things?!" Sima Yi angrily exclaimed as a mascot is pressed against his body and throwing out all sorts of personal space out the window. He grabs the mascot to toss it over the railing, watching it fall down to the hell pit.

"What is going on here?!" Both Zhou Yu and Mitsuhide exclaimed as they have to struggle against the cheap fabric and wriggling of the mascots they are trapped between.

"Ugh, this is not up my alley. These things reek!" Noh whined before kicking a mascot so hard, they rocket up into the sky before falling down into the hell pit.

"I'm scared! These things are touching me all the wrong ways!" screeched Xiao Qiao.

"Don't worry! I've got a technique my father taught me to ward off bad touching people!"

Gracia takes a deep breath before screaming at the top of her lungs right in the face of one the mascots,"NO MEANS NO!" Her voice rings through the mascots while everyone plugged their ears at the sound waves vibrated through the mascots. The mascots all are now shaking at high frequency like jello and it takes one punch from Gracia that sets them all off to explode like blood-filled water balloons. The whole island is painted red mixed in with random brown foam pieces. There is a moment of silence among the characters until a roller coaster car gets ejected at them from the back. It crashes into the ice cream stand and the car bounces off to fall into the hell pit. Behind them is a piece of roller coaster track where the car came from.

"This park is the most bizarre, yet we've come up with no sort of clue to what is making it so bizarre." Xun Yu says as he snaps his fingers to instantly flick off blood from his body and lets it drop into the hell pit. He does the same to all other characters that wouldn't be capable of doing this. Sima Yi snaps away the blood on him and notes the stairway that has appeared to take them back to non-hell pit land.

"Let's get out of here already. It's clear this place is bad omens."

It is late sunset when Sima Yi is sitting on a bench with Xun Yu. A bench across from them has Masamune and Kojuro.

"Huff, nothing has come from any of this..." Sima Yi then asks the two across from him,"So, I assume you are going to have to leave and not look back?"

"Well, that would make sense considering what had happened. But I also want to see what's making this place so crazy."

"But we've found nothing. Perhaps this place is just unnatural and nothing can explain it."

"It's only one day. Tomorrow might yield better results." says Xun Yu.

There is a trash bin right by Xun Yu, where a pair of eyes are fixed on him from the inside. But she doesn't get it for long as Xun Yu gets up, telling Sima Yi,"It's about closing time. We should be returning home. Be prepared to return first thing in the morning."

They proceed to head towards the exit, where another set of stacked-high burger patties are on either side of the walkway. The trash bin hops over to the side of one of them.

"Have a parting gift...!" The opening has a hand shoot out to punch the burger stack, causing it to rumble a bit before tipping over in hopes to crush the two there, but the burgers stop falling. It's a leaning tower of burgers now.

"...Are you kidding me...?!"

Minutes before going to sleep, Zhang Chunhua asks Sima Yi about the park.

"So, how was it? Did you have fun?"

"No."

"Oh, I think you are over-exaggerating. It cannot be that bad."

"You were not there. That place is a hazard and should be condemned. If only I had that kind of authority..."

"Oh no, is there another demon owner?"

"Not that I would know of. If you had been there, you would be caught by surprise at everything changing at random whims."

"No magic?"

"No magic. It is a truly mysterious place that I am spending my outing investigating, regardless of what Cao Cao will think of me."

"You just can't let yourself try to have fun, huh?"

"This is not my idea of fun."

"Well, just make sure you do not ruin everyone else's good time when you do go back."

The morning comes and Sima Yi freshens himself up a bit before fast traveling back to the amusement park. He stops by the hotel, now placed by the hell pit with no staircase. One must have sharp reflexes or clear eyes to avoid walking down to their doom. Luckily, no one fell down there by the time Sima Yi stopped by. The first person he meets after they just left their room is Cao Cao, who asks him,"So? Did you have a good time yesterday? Or did you just actually spend the entire day sulking off?"

"I... spent time with the Samurai that came by here yesterday."

"Oh, you'd spend time with them, but not with the others."

"They get me."

"Well, I suppose that's better than nothing."

"I don't get it. Why spend three days here?"

"Because one of the highlights is that this park always will have something new."

"...So you have seen the contraptions spawning randomly...?"

"Yes, but honestly, that's quite tame considering what we've seen. There better not be some demon owner like on the cruise."

"People keep saying that, yet I have not been getting such signs from the park."

"Good. This is all independent of any evil source. It's just a fun place that just works."

"...Right... I hope you are safe with these contraptions..."

"They are a bit too scary for my tastes. My heart cannot handle that much excitement."

Xun Yu finally appears when Sima Yi was in the middle of wondering why Xun You and Guo Jia are laying in their beds, looking wasted as hell.

"Does this place sell alcohol?"

"I did not see anything that indicated as such. They must have packed in alcohol with their belongings." Xun Yu reaches under Guo Jia's bed to pull out a clay bottle reeking of wine. "I was correct."

"I'd drink too if I was forced to stay over here."

Setting out for Day Two had those two seeing a whole new park than the one they visited yesterday. There is now a large body of water with a pirate ship settled on it dead center of the park. There are carved mountains in which a roller coaster can go through them. They stand at the edge of a walkway going around the water.

"This is definitely man-made."

"But with no man."

The camera pans over to a shrub right by the water, where Zheng Jiang pops her head out to get a good look at the pair.

"So they're here again... Well, this lake can offer me a good way to stage an accidental assassination."

In her mind, an animation plays out what she plans to happen.

First, those two have to be lured onto that ship with a vague clue of this place's origin. When they get on the ship, I will have my subordinates set up hazards that will let them fall into the water. Once they are in the water, heavy objects will get thrown at them under the guise of them falling off that ship and hopefully, it knocks them out or they will get overwhelmed and drown in the lake. There's netting all over that ship, I can construct something that will ensure they get tangled up and weighed down before they can resurface for a gasp of air!

She gets a rock from the ground and hurls it into the lake before quietly hiding again. The rock hits the water with a faint plop noise that neither man paid much attention to. It is a big lake and it is constantly disturbed by the rattling of the nearby giant roller coaster that is being constructed right above it.

"I'd hate to go on that one..." Sima Yi grimaced at the sheer height this new coaster.

"I'm starting to think it takes riding on one of these contraptions to get any sort of clue."

"You want to ride that?" He asked, pointing at the giant monster of steel framing.

"No. I'd say we try to find something less intensive. Something a child would like."

It cuts to the two of them sitting inside of a large teacup for one of those spinning teacup rides with (randomly generated through dice) Xu Shu in with them. There is a moment of awkward silence as they all sit about the distance away from each other in side of the cup as the thing spins with them. It lasts for approximately three minutes until Xu Shu finally asks the two of them,"So... uh... Why were you two in line for this...?"

"Why were YOU in line? I saw mostly children and women for this."

"I wanted something calming. I thought I was going with Liu Bei, but the capacity cut off at me."

Sima Yi looks away for a moment to catch Zhuge Liang watching from the boundary, fighting the urge to grin at watching Sima Yi spinning in the teacup. Sima Yi looks away as he growls while blushing,"This better get us something or else...!"

Xun Yu does not seem too fazed, but he is disappointed in how he's getting nothing out of this ride.

"Looks like my theory was wrong."

"How long is this cursed ride?"

"I think it was around fifteen minutes."

The three of them inside of the cup bear it for the remaining amount of time when Zheng Jiang blends into the crowd watching from the side. She has a couple women spread out in the crowd just in time when the two leave the ride. Once they see them, the women loudly talk to each other,"Say, did you see that weird man at the ship ride?"

"Yeah, he was quite shady."

"I heard people say he was the one who conjured those magically-spawning contraptions."

Sima Yi sighs,"That sounds too convenient... Let's still investigate."

"It's not like there's any other leads to work with."

As they make their way to the ship, the women express their delight in luring them over to the ship to Zheng Jiang.

"They're heading over there, just as you planned."

"Now, let's alert the girls over there to send those two to a watery grave."

At the pirate ship, it seems to be a large decoration rather than a ride. Still, it brought people to come look at it in awe. It was there that Sima Yi runs into Masamune again.

"I can't believe you actually spent money to come back in here."

"Bold of you to assume I actually paid."

"So you snuck in here?"

Kojuro tells him before Masamune could say anything,"No, I simply lied about Masamune's age to get the children's discount for both days. Much cheaper that way."

"Ah, that makes more sense."

"I do not take pride in that."

Sima Yi asks,"...Who are you paying to for the tickets...?"

"I just know I deposited money into a blue text box."

"You trusted a single blue text box?!"

"It wouldn't let us pass the gates until we put money into it."

"Then where is the money going? If it doesn't go to a human, then you've just shoved money into nothing!"

"Hm, that might be true..."

"Ah, it's fine. It's not much compared to how much money that's in the treasury back home. Since Japan is still fused with China, it's actually EASIER to just go back home and get money if I run out."

A pair of women run into Sima Yi as he continues to investigate the area, pushing him into getting his feet caught in a knot that tightens around his foot. It triggers a trap that yanks him up a mast of the ship as a heavy rock falls into the water with him attached. When Xun Yu rushes towards the side to see where he went, he activates a trap that drops a cannonball on his skull so hard, it tips him forward over the railing and into the water as well.

"Yes! We did it!" cheered the pair of women as they ran off.

"Christ!" Masamune rushes over to the railing, but Kojuro yanks him back.

"Master, you shouldn't get close to anything here."

"Well, we need something to help them get out of there!"

Over down by small bank near the lake, Zheng Jiang grumbles to her two accomplises,"You fools! You need to check if they are actually dead!"

"How, my lady? They haven't surfaced in over a couple minutes now. They have to be dead."

"Well, you cannot be so sure...!" She hands each of them a dagger and points to the water,"Swim down and if they still breathe, slash their throats."

"Yes." They obey her command and dive into the lake. When they close in on a pair of floating bodies, one of the women gets her neck clamped on by a vengeful hand from Sima Yi. He forces her down, increasing the grip in his hand while the other woman attacks him. Before she could, he turns towards her to blow a powerful stream of bubbles using almost the last of his breath. Then he swings his arms so that he hits her with the other woman. They get dazed while in the water, leaving time for Sima Yi to pull Xun Yu out of the water. He is out cold by the looks of it. Sima Yi drops him off at the same bank where he locks eyes with Zheng Jiang, who pulls out a sword to attack him while he's prone on the ground.

His fan appears to shield the incoming attack, letting him hit at the attacking woman's shin and getting up when she jumps back with a wince. Sima Yi grasps his fan and holds it like a sword to make the blade in it pop out into view. There is a moment of them both standing their ground, watching each other before they both dash at each other at the same time, clashing with each other's swords. The clanging of metal on metal brings attention, though people think it's a show rather than a guy warding off an attempt on his life.

The sounds alert Masamune into leaning over the railing to firing his gun at Zheng Jiang, who whips around to deflect the bullet with her sword. When Sima Yi takes advantage of her turning away, she whips back around, her head snapping in such a way that it makes one of the hairpins in her head fly out to barely scratch his cheek. The split second it took to register it hit lets Zheng Jiang landing a kick into Sima Yi's side. As he staggers a bit from the blow, Zheng Jiang leaps up to do a roundhouse kick on his face, knocking him down.

"Crap, this woman actually can fight...!" He recovers in time to point a laser at Zheng Jiang, who reacts by swinging her sword at samurai-level speed to slice off Sima Yi's finger. The laser stops, but Sima Yi opens his mouth to spit the laser at her, laughing,"You clearly don't know how my abilities work!" Zheng Jiang snaps her neck to the side just in time as the laser shoots past her to hit the steel frame behind her.

"I do not have to. As long as I keep fighting you at close quarters, your magic won't save you! You're finished!" She drives her sword forward into Sima Yi's chest, directly where his heart would be. But then, she sees that she cannot drive the blade past the tip into Sima Yi.

"You are sadly mistaken, my lady. It doesn't matter whether you are close or far... I will always have the range!" The sword tip is covered in hardened blood that keeps it from being pushed further. Some blood still spurts out of Sima Yi's wound to turn into a large spike that hits Zheng Jiang in the forehead. A sudden burst of force upon the spike as it makes impact sends Zheng Jiang flying away from her sword and towards the roller coaster frame behind her. She is flying right to the part of the coaster that got caved from Sima Yi's laser before, where a set of bent steel beams is pointed right in her direction. She gets impaled on it and the public doesn't get to see her body due to it being hidden deep in the steel structure. It was not an instant death even with the spike in her forehead, but still fairly quick.

Sima Yi pulls the sword out of his chest and drops it on the ground before heading over to Xun Yu to see he's barely breathing. He crouches down besides him to poke him in the head, shooting him up with healing magic that brings him to consciousness again. Xun Yu gasps and scrambles up to his feet,"We were under attack...!"

"Not anymore. The enemy has been eliminated. Over there to be specific." He said, pointing to the roller coaster.

"Zheng Jiang is dead?"

"Yes. I hope so anyway... She got a spike to the forehead and from the looks of that spot on that contraption, she's likely impaled on the jagged pieces."

"A rather gruesome end. Let's hope that thing disappears with the body to avoid traumatizing civilians."

"Oh well, whatever she built up should crumble once news of her death has reached. Surely those minions of hers would be the ones to bring the news." Sima Yi looks across the lake to see the pair of women he had fought off in the water running away to who knows.

"Well then. Looks like we're in the clear. Then we are free to entertain ourselves here."

"You can, I don't know what I'd do..."

The two find their ways back up onto what's considered ground level near the pirate ship to be approached by Masamune and Kojuro.

"So what was that all about?"

"Eh, some terrorist that wanted us dead. She's dead now, so all's well."

"Hmm... She wanted you dead...?" Kojuro turns to look over at the caved-in spot on the roller coaster in the distance, narrowing his eyes while adding,"Being thrown there would have one being badly mutilated..."

"What is it?"

"I am not one to believe so heavily in the occult, but what you have described has potential to give rise to an onryo. It is a type of evil spirit that will return to the living world to carry out the vengeance it vehemently desires. They have a greater chance of manifesting if the person died in a violent and painful manner."

"Considering that we have seen living gods, I would be surprised if there wasn't an evil spirit trying to kill me."

"We will keep that in mind." Xun Yu says.

So after all of that action, Sima Yi is back to taking a stroll through the park with Xun Yu. There is a ride that has people sitting in spinning compartments held up by an octopus-shaped apparatus. They go up to that to observe the people riding on it.

"I am sure the Japanese would like this one." Sima Yi remarked quietly upon seeing there is an octopus theme for this ride. Xun Yu glares at him,"That's uncalled for. Also, Masamune and Kojuro are right there." Lucky for him they didn't hear that.

The ride ends and they see getting off it is Okumi and Noh. The former complains,"Hm, the contraption was a bit deceiving."

"Yes, they simply didn't make it thrilling enough. You do not get the authentic octopus experience. It feels just so stale and mechanical."

They walk away, leaving Sima Yi with a smug look directed at Xun Yu when he says,"I don't think I am wrong."

Xun Yu brushes that aside to wrap up with the nonexistent findings of watching the octopus ride for about ten minutes.

"I feel like we should check if the body is still there in the metal of the contraption above us. Sima Yi, could you check? Perhaps by at least recovering her body and giving it a proper burial can minimize the chance of her soul returning as an enraged spirit."

So they walk right up to the large roller coaster built throughout the park, searching for the busted spot they know Zheng Jiang flew into. Sima Yi floats himself up to the spot and looks in to see her body impaled on five prongs made by the bent beams inside of the coaster.

"Good thing this is deep in the structure or else people would be horrified at this random death." But before Sima Yi could reach in, the whole roller coaster disappears with a blink of an eye, along with the body.

"Ack! She was taken too...! Where could it have gone...!?"

Of course, Sima Yi drops down to tell Xun Yu of the roller coaster disappearing with the body. Then they see other rides also just disappear suddenly, teleporting any persons on it out before any entry point. The park is bare for a good moment. The pirate ship and lake are still there, though. In another blink of an eye, a huge orange roller coaster instantly appears and it gets tweaked with in real time by an unknown force. There are more steep climbs and drops than before combined with loops that would never be passed by modern safety codes. The region also gains a pit with wriggling tentacles in it that the new roller coaster goes into. A new spiraling walkway is also constructed that leads into the pit as well to have a single restroom right by a tentacle and a stand that sells "deep fried spaghetti".

There are a couple rides that had not been purged that people still go to. But lots of things in the park start altering themselves in such that people get funneled to the really big roller coaster that is being constructed.

Xun Yu sighs. "So the body is gone...?"

"It seems so."

"Hopefully no evil spirit will come the next day or later."

"Perfect. I was hoping an evil spirit would ruin my day tomorrow."

"Good. Keep saying that. The universe will not give you what you want."

They now are investigating the tentacle pit, which they dubbed it to be another "hell pit" and that has the two of them having their comfort zones invaded by Noh the moment they called it as such.

"Oh yes! It's like this place is catering to me! That is a REAL hell pit and it comes with realistic tentacles...!" She moaned with such intensity, it makes any character who hears her blush as they pass by.

"How did she get here so fast?" Xun Yu whisper-asked to both Masamune and Kojuro behind them, who only give him just-as-confused shrugs.

"I'm telling you, Nobunaga's people are like from another dimension...!"

"Say something, Masamune?" Nobunaga asked, suddenly behind him. Masamune flips around to laugh what he just said off,"Oh, that only means that only you are the truly special one...!"

Nobunaga brushes past him, seemingly just ignoring what he says to admire the "tentacle hell pit" with Noh. He also had Ranmaru with him, who silently turns to Masamune, giving him a "I heard what you said" face.

"I am quite disappointed I didn't get to see the other hell pit you and Mitsuhide described."

"It was much more beautiful, but the tentacles here a nicer touch."

"I also would like to try this 'deep-fried spaghetti' that's down there. Come along, dear."

Xun Yu watched the odd couple and bodyguard walk deeper into the pit together. Then he realizes that he hasn't been watching Sima Yi and catches him deeper into the pit, shooting a laser at a flailing tentacle. The tentacle is cut off, dropping down onto a roller coaster car that just happened to be rocketing through there, nearly derailing it.

"What are you doing?!" He angrily shouted as he runs up to him. "You could have killed people with that stunt!"

"Well, that ride should not have gone DIRECTLY INTO THE HELL PIT."

"Why did you shoot it?"

"I was checking how real it was. It is real, alright. I just want to know where are these tentacles coming from. Or to what it is attached to. Is there a giant intelligent octopus underground that is the cause of all of this?"

"That's bloody ridiculous. It would suffocate under the ground."

"You don't know that. It could be a magically-sustained octopus."

"You must be losing your grip on reality, I see."

"No, no. This IS the reality we live in. Where anything is possible. What other reality could you possibly have that revolves around being able to punch gods while being dead and hanging out with samurai in the middle of some tourist trap of some unknown culture?"

"Wow, that IS our reality..." Xun Yu takes a few seconds to let it sink in before bringing himself back to tell Sima Yi,"Well, it's quite clear there is no octopus under here. I don't see the earth giving away. It's likely those tentacles are simply decoration."

"They're moving."

"Machines...?"

"See? Even you don't know."

"Does it bloody matter?"

"It is the second day and no clues to what the hell's going on with this park. Everyone's seen the crap this place pulls. No one bats an eye. I am very on edge here. Literally, everywhere I go, things always have to have a catch. It can never be something innocent."

"I know what you are feeling, but it doesn't mean you toss out your reasoning like it's a sack of trash."

"We've walked around this place for hours."

"It only has been three hours since we've arrived here."

"THREE HOURS?! THAT FELT LONGER!"

"Well, assassination attempts do that to you." Masamune remarked on the side.

"This place is driving me up the wall. How can there be absolutely nothing up? It is doing such a good job at hiding its secrets." (I am quite envious honestly...)

"Maybe the mastermind behind this place wouldn't hide in such an obvious place such as the tentacle hell pit." suggests Kojuro.

"That makes sense, but where else would they even hide? It's not like there are little compartments in the... the..." Sima Yi's eyes trail off to see the screaming coaster car rip down into the pit. "Maybe... Maybe it's like last time on that cruise ship..."

"Wait, what are you thinking of?" Xun Yu asked with well-placed concern. "Don't. Don't blow up the contraption there."

"I won't."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Hold it. I'm thinking." Sima Yi keeps his eyes on the track as the people with him are confused to what he could be possibly thinking about. Xun Yu gets closer, about to pull him aside if he were to do something, but that was a mistake. When a coaster car is just about to come through again, Sima Yi snatches Xun Yu by the wrist to drag him along as he leaps forward onto the car. His feet attach themselves right onto the front of it, startling the already-scared shitless people there.

"Check for pocket dimensions!" Sima Yi commanded Xun Yu, who is too busy screaming in sheer terror as they rocket at high speeds. Initially, Sima Yi had him haphazardly by the wrist, but seconds later, Xun Yu is clutching onto the nearest rigid object, which is just Sima Yi as he is stuck on there.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHY?! THIS IS TOO FAST! NOOOOOO-AHHHHHHHH!" Xun Yu blubbers as he and Sima Yi go about a loopdie-loop on the roller coaster. This entire ride is a symphony of screams that Sima Yi only adds onto when he sees that he is in danger of hitting his head against tracks built too close to this ride.

Xun Yu hyperventilates while his hands essentially dig into Sima Yi, yelling,"GET US OFF NOW! THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME!"

"But are there any pocket dimensions?"

"I CAN'T DO THAT! I'M TOO TERRIFIED TO EVEN CONCENTRATE!"

"Can't you just reach out a finger and test the track-"

"NOT UNLESS I WANT TO KEEP MY BLOODY FINGER! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK THERE ARE POCKET DIMENSIONS IN THIS?!"

"Well, there is the possibility of the mastermind of this death trap is hidden because they were obviously not of this realm. They'd need to cross over into an entirely different place."

"I UNDERSTAND THAT BUT DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO TAKE ME ON THIS?! MY HEART IS GOING TO ERUPT OUT OF MY THROAT ANY SECOND NOW!"

"This was much more faster and less riskier."

"HOW?!"

"Well, for starters-KMOUGH!" Something flew into Sima Yi's mouth as he spoke, likely a bug, which ruins his concentration on keeping himself on the roller coaster car. As a result, he and Xun Yu get thrown off with the momentum of the roller coaster towards who-knows-where in the park. Their bodies would crash through a random winding walkway intentionally made to curve in all sorts of inconvenient places. Their final resting spot is a fairly vacant cliff randomly created in this park that also had a funny cartoonish dragon sitting on it. It is a random park decoration that children get drawn to. The children at it now see a pair of grown men buried deep into the earth from their landing. One decides to poke at Sima Yi, who immediately gets up, throwing dirt and rock around that scares them. He crawls out of his spot, coughing out whatever bug got in his mouth while Xun Yu remains in his spot, crying out the rest of his fear tears.

"You okay, mister?" asks one of the children near Xun Yu. But he doesn't say anything.

Sima Yi stands up to look around him to see that he's somewhere new. The dragon catches his eye, but he disregards it once he sees it looks so dopey-looking. He also checks out the damage he caused that walkway. Looks like there is no other way up and he ended up cutting off these children on this cliff. It doesn't matter, the walkway fixes itself and changes along the way with more unnecessary curls.

It allows now for Masamune to come running, exclaiming,"Holy s*bleep*, that was crazy! That looked so cool, but also so stupid at the same time!"

"What exactly did you want to accomplish with that stunt?" Kojuro asked him. "Also, please do not do that again for fear of Masamune wanting to replicate it."

"It was a long shot, but it could have been possible all of these rides had pocket dimensions that this mysterious park owner resided in to do sinister things privately."

Xun Yu gets up quickly when he heard Sima Yi say that to comment,"Just so you know, I felt nothing from any of these contraptions."

"Then you would need to touch one of the structures. Wait, that walkway. That can be something to test out."

Xun Yu groans as he recovers from being flung at several miles an hour before dragging himself over to the beginning of the large white walkway spiraling upwards onto land above them. He asks in disbelief,"What the hell? I could have sworn this was all flatland. Now it's slightly mountainous? The park's landscape is changing, it seems." His finger taps the steel of the walkway's frame to see that... nothing is fishy about them. It's pure metal with no signs of it having some dimension inside and along it.

"Then that theory you had is bust." Xun Yu tells Sima Yi. "You almost gave me a heart attack for nothing."

"It was a valid concern."

"I know. But... it could have been communicated."

The attention is now on the dragon sitting in the center of this cliff when Masamune is examining it. Of course, he notes how "derpy" it is and how it "cannot be considered a real dragon". When Sima Yi gets a closer at it, his first instinct is to poke his finger at its bright tummy. It is soft. This is a stuffed dragon. But it shouldn't be as the dragon's snout is exhausting steam and its little wings are flapping.

Sima Yi punches the dragon's stomach to see it doesn't do anything aside from slightly deform from the impact. It returns to its original shape shortly after.

"...Is there a pocket dimension in this dragon...?"

Xun Yu sighs and tests the dragon himself by pressing his hand against it to pull it away, telling Sima Yi,"No. This is a toy."

Sima Yi sighs,"Fine. Let's just head up and away from here. There's nothing here worth examining here."

It cuts to Sima Yi groaning on a bench nearby a simple ride that had little airplanes being flown around in a circle. It is a little past afternoon by this time and Sima Yi asks Xun Yu,"So, it's fine to leave early, right?"

"I... don't think that was specified by Lord Cao Cao."

"So I can leave. Great."

"No, I'm sure you would have to report back at the end of the day. And even so, people must witness you at all hours up until closing time."

"Total bulls*bleep*."

As they sit there, they see to the east of them is land peaking up across a deep chasm just somehow there that another complicated walkway goes over. The land gets flattened before an elaborate castle is plopped down onto it.

"Do... you... want to go over there...?"

"Do you?"

"No... But... I do not know what to kill time with here..." The bench Sima Yi sits on is right by a speaker, which spouts out in that annoying voice before Sima Yi blasts it to bits. "Maybe it might have something decent to look at over there."

They are at the new castle attraction of the park and it looks like it is not a ride. It is a haunted house attraction.

"It's summer." says Masamune standing by the stone entryway. "What's this doing here?"

"I do not think haunted houses are exclusive to one season-"

"Yes they are!"

"Maybe this thing here is where the mastermind is hidden." Sima Yi eyes the castle from his position. It is about the size of two garrison stacked on top of each other. "Look at those walls. You can fit pocket dimensions for days on that."

"Hm, that's possible..." Xun Yu considers this. "Then let's go in."

They all go into the castle, but Xun Yu first checks the walls by pressing his hands on them. He turns to Sima Yi to shake his head,"Nothing. I cannot push in a finger. No magic enhancements on this castle."

"Well, let's go in anyway." Masamune said. "I expect low quality since this is a SUMMER haunted house. I reserve the right to make fun of it."

"Actually." Sima Yi sees that is a good idea as well. "Yes, I think I will just admire how dumb all of this is and make people feel bad for actually liking this when the come in."

"Exactly."

"No, do not do that." Xun Yu tells the two, but it was too late. They had gone into the castle already with Kojuro following behind without any complaints.

Upon entering the castle, it is pitch black, as expected. A jump scare is deployed right off the bat in the form of a hanging ghostly being dropping down from the ceiling before Sima Yi and Masamune. Their reflexes activate in the form of Masamune firing several bullets into the prop and Sima Yi vaporizing the prop altogether with a laser. They both move on as if nothing happened.

"Phht, that wasn't scary. I wasn't scared."

"Of course not. That was a cheap prop. I did this place a favor by destroying it."

Xun Yu trails behind them with a "yeah right" expression only to jump up when he feels a sudden burst of cold air hit the back of his neck. He whips around and sees he's only a small distance away from the entrance.

"Perhaps that is part of this place..."

As he continues on, a ghostly hand appears out of the wall while a transparent woman's head peeks out from a small table by another wall. Her eyes swirl around in her skull before they lock onto Xun Yu just leaving their sights, lowly croaking. Suddenly, more heads erupt out of the walls, for a total of four. When other people go in, they get spooked by the ghosts there, but laugh it off seeing how "real" they look. The ghosts do not pay any attention to them and sink back into the walls.

The walkway Sima Yi is on takes him down old medieval-style stone walls with the occasional suit of knight armor against the wall.

"Those things there look like that armor set you have." Sima Yi points out for Xun Yu.

"Maybe they are the inspiration for it. It is clear it isn't of any Asian make. Now that I think about it, Odin wore pieces of armor similar to these, though obviously more stylized to him. Maybe my suit of armor and the ones here are related to his race and culture."

"Well, to be honest, these suits of armor here look a lot more practical than yours."

"How can these be practical at all?" Masamune gives the armor off to one side a tap,"It must be hard to run around with all this metal on you."

"I assume you have to be trained to wear this."

"Can these withstand bullets?" Masamune tries to shoot the armor. The bullet makes a big dent in the metal, almost piercing through at being shot at point-blank range.

"Ahha, they can't."

"I assume they're props rather than actual armor to be used." says Kojuro.

A female ghost peeks out from the wall besides the armor, then quickly stuffs themselves into the armor to possess it. The armor now reaches over to grab at Xun Yu, but it looks like it's going for Masamune instead, who unloads flurry of shots into the armor that have some of them tearing small holes into the metal. The armor keeps going however, which prompts Kojuro to come in to smash his shield against the armor, sending it tumbling away in pieces. He adds on more bullets from his own gun, riddling the thing in more holes. The amount of noise the bullets made certainly scared people within range, but not sight.

"There doesn't seem to be anyone in this." Sima Yi said upon examining the armor. "But no magic. But... I do feel something faintly spectral about this..."

The ghost escapes out of the armor from a foot piece that is farthest away from Sima Yi and back into a wall before anyone could catch it.

Moving on through the castle is now more like a maze now since some walkways loop back or take them into dead ends. One of the chambers they find themselves stuck in now is a prison torture cell. Sure, the room is full of props, but they are made to look like they have been used.

"I doubt there's some secret way to the exit here." Xun Yu says when Sima Yi is running his hands along the wall indicating the dead end for this room.

"Of course not. I can just create it." Sima Yi draws a circle in the wall and punches right into the center of it, causing said circle to pop clean off and flying out into the air to reveal the edge of the mountain the castle is built on.

"Nothing in here, time to leave."

"Or. Or we can just head up to the second floor the easy way." says Masamune.

"The second floor won't have an exit."

"But I want to see if it's worse than the first floor."

Sima Yi turns to Xun Yu quietly, who sighs before drawing a rectangle on the ground and telling Masamune to get on. The moment his feet go into the rectangle, the a rectangular chunk of earth shoots up to bring Masamune to the second floor where he hops through an open window. Of course, the earth chunk comes back down to get Kojuro.

Sima Yi sighs and heads for the second floor once he hears a scream shortly after. When he lands, he sees he's in bedchambers belonging to a queen. He sees a prop dead lady on the bed and turns to see Masamune, asking,"Really? That's what got you?"

"That wasn't me." His eye does the pointing at Kojuro.

"Oh. Huh, I didn't know your voice could get that high-pitched..."

"It looked so real...!" Kojuro flustered while adjusting his glasses. "I wouldn't be surprised if they used real bodies here...! Besides, it fell straight from the ceiling...!"

Sima Yi looks closer and it is just a lady covered in blood with her throat terribly mutilated. He reaches over to touch it and it had a plastic and rubbery feel.

"This is fake indeed."

A pair of ghosts peek from under the bed to then phase themselves through the bed above them and into the prop body. Upon possession, the body starts bleeding real blood from its mouth and throat as it abruptly sits up to screech. Masamune points at it and laughs,"Ha, that's so fake."

The lady's head snaps to him and opens her mouth, vomiting blood all over Masamune and for extra measure, a heart shoots out to go splat against his face. As it slid off, Masamune slowly loses his silly grin to say with slow realization,"...This... is... not... fake..."

The body screeches again, her body having gnarly bony spikes erupt out of its arms before leaping at Sima Yi. It swipes at him using its spikes, but he backs off from each attempt before blasting a laser through its head, melting it clean off. The body continues to move at Sima Yi again and when it gets really close, Sima Yi detects the same faint spectral energy from the suit of armor, but double it. The bony spikes dig into his chest before he could move this time.

The samurai pair in the room with him turn immediately to rapid-fire bullets into the headless body to the point it barely holds together at the torso due to how many bullets ripped through it. Sima Yi pushes it away with a burst of force, causing it tear off at the waist, pulling out the spikes in Sima Yi in the process.

Xun Yu comes up now, shouting,"What is happening up here?!"

"There are real spirits in here!" Sima Yi grabs the legs that remained in front of him to vaporize them before moving onto to blasting the body on the floor. However, when he fires his laser at it, the two ghosts in it escape out of it and into the wall.

"They have escaped...!"

"If they are traveling through the walls, then there has to be...!" Sima Yi slaps his palm against the wall to create a shockwave that blows it apart. Xun Yu exclaims,"The spirits are traveling through the walls regardless of whether or not there are pocket dimensions in them!"

"I know that! But if this is how they travel, then blowing up this place would be sufficient enough to rid of these spirits...!"

"There are other people in here, remember?"

"Then get them out!"

The four spirits group up before returning to the room Sima Yi and Xun Yu are in. They split up to cover each of the walls of the room to then possess the walls.

"GO!" They all screeched as they bring the walls towards the people in the room in hopes to crush them all at once. Xun Yu claps his hands together to emit a barrier that covers him and the other three, stopping the walls before they could ever get close. Then he separates his hands, causing the barrier to expand, sending three walls flying away. One wall is connected to other rooms of that floor, so it has to rip through them. They were, thankfully, empty. The ghosts fly back to possess the ceiling above them and bring it down, but Xun Yu also makes a barrier that prevents them from crushing them with that. The ceiling gets blown off by Sima Yi and now they are fully exposed to the outside.

"So these have to be the onryo that we were warned of." Xun Yu says. "Zheng Jiang had minions that unfortunately met their demise going after us."

"Didn't they have to die a violent death?"

"I have to assume being riddled with bullets counts. And I believe two drowned."

"The brutality in which someone dies determines how powerful their vengeful spirit is after death." says Kojuro. "That is if they even turn into one. More often than not."

The four lady spirits charge at them with a deafening screech, but Xun Yu quickly draws a set of characters in the air that acts as wards to send the spirits reeling back. As they are left writhing from the brightness of the spell, Sima Yi fires magic bolts that can hit the spirits directly. Upon hit, the ghosts begin to fade away from taking damage. Then Sima Yi relentlessly assaults them all with a flurry of magic bolts that rip them up bad enough, they lack any more energy to chase after their targets. They make a retreat before Sima Yi could finish them off.

"Damnit, they got away...!"

Kojuro tells them,"You would need to banish onryo if you want a quick and easy removal. Since they are spirits that live off of the desire of vengeance, they will never die as long as the spirits' hate for you persists."

"Well, I am sure I can banish spirits... If I would remember how to do them..."

"They seemed to be weaker spirits. I am sure you two can easily do it."

"I will need to go home and find the notes for the banishment spells... How much time has been killed...?"

"I'd say an hour." says Xun Yu.

"Damnit...! That's it, I'm going home early."

"You do know I am obligated to tell Cao Cao about that, right?"

"So what if I skipped out on a couple hours? I'll make them up tomorrow on the final day."

"Very well then."

Sima Yi fast travels. Or makes an attempt to. He is not allowed to leave for some other reason. A blue text box appears before Sima Yi with this message:

You have caused 91229 dollars in damage. You cannot leave until you've paid these outstanding charges.

"What?" Sima Yi moves, but the blue box follows him, blocking his front view. There are the buttons to pay and to "pay later". Guess which one Sima Yi picks.

"I'm not paying for this!" The "pay later" option is a temporary solution. The blue box will pop back up every hour for the duration of Sima Yi being in the park up until it closes. And he cannot leave when that is still on. He can only leave when the park closes.

"F*bleep*. I'm stuck here." Sima Yi groaned as he walked down the pathway out of the haunted house castle.

"I wonder why the prompt only affects you." Xun Yu remarked. "I know I have caused damaged as well."

"Maybe this place sees me as the one responsible as a whole..."

"You did destroy those loud speaking black boxes."

"Those things are annoying!"

"I know they are, but that doesn't warrant wanton property destruction."

"Now what?"

"Well, there's trying to make the most of this place."

"Phht, forget that."

How time gets killed is Sima Yi wanders around the park, having banter with the people accompanying him. He would run into other Wei officers and hearing of how they've been spending their time at this unusual park. Generally, people have agreed that the roller coasters that keep appearing are just too scary and probably should be avoided regardless of what's been advertised on their signs. The non-customizable rides are the ones people would go on without any worry.

"So turns out this place has a 'no alcohol' policy." Sima Yi found out from, of course, Guo Jia. He also found out that he has been chugging something else that had the same feel-good effect for him despite not getting him drunk, which is soda. It does make him burp a lot due to how fast he sips through each cup he gets which people find quite gross/displeasing. But honestly, they would prefer this over Guo Jia being drunk.

Xun Yu gets a look at the soda Guo Jia is drinking and notes the color,"Should you be drinking a lot of that dark liquid? It looks... not potable..."

"Despite the color, it's actually really sweet and fizzy."

"How strange."

"Do you want a sip?"

"No thank you."

Man Chong has a cup of soda as well and when he sips it all, he becomes hyper from the sugar, causing him to hop right onto the closest random, potentially dangerous roller coaster. Standing by, they could hear him shout at the top of his lungs in delight. About ten minutes later, they see him hop off only to get back on again. Another ten minutes, he hops on again. The sugar high wears off after the next two rides, having Man Chong crash the moment he runs on over to Xu Huang waiting for him. He literally crashes when he has his sugar crash by tumbling into a grassy spot.

"How come you're not acting like that?" Sima Yi asked as Guo Jia is sipping away at his drink. "How many have you had?"

"I don't remember." He shrugged. "Nine?"

"Nine?! Of that black liquid?!"

"It wasn't JUST this black liquid. There was the clear liquid. The orange liquid. The other black liquid. The pink liquid."

"Those don't sound very healthy to just casually pour into your body..." Xun Yu said with concern.

"I feel fine."

"Where's Xun You?"

"Jia Xu dragged him to that castle up there."

"..."

Xun Yu silently turns to Sima Yi and he turns to him, whispering,"I am sure he's fine. We only blew up the second floor. No one was up there as far I know. No one was in front of us. We were the first people in there."

"If you say so..."

The blue box comes again and Sima Yi presses the button that makes it go away for another hour. He continues to be a stick in the mud for the rest of the time he has in the park while futilely trying to find whatever is behind this amusement park. Once he finally gets to leave, the park closes. In the dead of night, the four spirits come out after recovering to see that their targets had left. They plan amongst themselves to go after them when another spirit finds them. The ghosts groan happily amongst themselves to see it is Zheng Jiang, who is dressed in the armor she died in, but with five see-through holes through her chest and abdomen. Without any warning, she opens her mouth to produce a powerful suction that pulls in all four of the spirits right into her, consuming them. After their consumption, four holes on her body close up. It leaves one hole on her chest. Her spiritual aura increases in size.

"Curse them... Curse them all... I will have my revenge...!" She rockets towards the horizon when she collides into an invisible wall.

"What the...?! I can't leave this place?! THIS CAN'T BEEEEEE!" She screeched, it echoing through the empty park. The people sleeping in the hotel hear it, but think it is probably the wind.

Morning comes for Sima Yi back home, in a bed that isn't in some mediocre hotel. When he wakes up, he has a letter in his hands.

Master,

I am happy to be back in an operational state! Thank you for fixing me. I have already taken the liberty of doing some tasks around the house. I have washed the laundry, cleaned the bathroom, watered the garden, purchased groceries, prepared 214 meatbuns for your son, groomed your pet monkey, scheduled a visit to a local therapist for your brother, and prepared a breakfast of rice with mayonnaise. Is there anything else you need me to do at the moment? If not, would you like to play video games?

Xiahua

After reading the previous letter, Sima Yi raises his eyebrow at the part about his "pet monkey". He knows it refers to Sun Wukong.

(….Well, I don't think he'll take too kindly about being referred to as my "pet".)

Sima Yi finishes reading and gets up to suddenly see Xiahua right besides him, causing him to yelp.

"Don't do that! And ahem, thank you for doing all of that. I am sure Chunhua is happy that she has (literally) another her to help around with the chores. But for now, I have to get going. Perhaps another time for these 'video games'."

"After being booted back up, it turns out I have a bunch of new games such as Minecraft and Planet Coaster."

"I'll... be sure to check out this 'Mine Craft' when I have time..." Sima Yi said in hopes it gets Xiahua out of the way for him to get out of bed.

"It's Minecraft, sir."

"What difference does it make?"

"It does not register within my system if you called it 'Mine Craft'. You need to call it 'Minecraft'."

"..." Sima Yi does not have the energy to care at the moment and goes onto do his usual grooming before setting out for the day. Before he does leave, however, he does happen to see Sun Wukong, who has his hair neatly styled and is wearing a modern-day tuxedo for some reason. All of his hair is slicked back so that he almost looks like an actual person with some killer sideburns.

Sun Wukong tells him, "Your maid who looks like your wife but with green hair made me dress like this. I actually kinda like it though. It makes me feel all fancy."

"It is a nice monkey suit*." *You know, for an Ancient Chinese man to use American slang is the most jarring thing for me. But you know, I have to make this joke.

"..." Sun Wukong's lips purses into a thin line as he gives Sima Yi a full minute stare. He takes a deep breath before saying,"Wow. That is highly offensive."

"I mean, you're not an actual monkey, right? You're... a... uh... an evolved monkey-humanoid-hybrid...?"

"You're making this worse."

"I am, goodbye." Sima Yi awkwardly said as he already made his way to the door. The moment he steps out, his face goes right into a piece of paper held right up to his head level.

Sima Yi,

Let me be in the story! Every single other Dynasty Warriors character has shown up in this story at least once, or at the very least has been mentioned in passing at some point. I've never shown up, and I don't think I've ever even been mentioned before either! What gives? Why am I the only one? Come on, let me be in the story!

Sincerely,
Xu Sheng

That's just how he reads it after smacking his face into the paper. Sima Yi backs away and sees Xu Sheng standing in front of him with the letter. Just... standing there and staring at him. After a few awkward moments, Xu Sheng raises his hand in greeting and says "hi".

"What the hell do you want?"

"You read the letter, right?"

"I technically did."

"Well?"

"I will technically answer with."

"With what-"

Sima Yi bolts for it while Xu Sheng was distracted with that phrase.

"Now you've technically have been in this story, ahahahahaha!" He laughs as he leaves a trail of dust that Xu Sheng eats. *Huh, I have never used Xu Sheng in this story? I guess that's just how superfluous his character is. That even I don't know what to do with him. Just kidding, the more reasonable reason has to be his design was revealed much later after when I made the DW9 newbies (at that time) make their debut in Chapter 268-Oh my god, that was a LONG TIME AGO.

Sima Yi is back at Freedom World for the third and, thankfully and hopefully, the last time. Upon arriving, Sima Yi finds in his pocket is a small slip of paper that says, "The holder of this coupon is entitled to kick Xun Yu's ass without retaliation ONE TIME."

"Huh, where did I get this? Who gave it to me?" He shrugs and keeps it.

The park changed again, so Sima Yi has to spend a couple minutes searching for the hotel the Wei officers are staying in. This time, it's right on top of the obviously-dick-shaped, super high hill. It is balancing at the tip. Of course it is.

"...I... How did they get up there...?"

Of course, whoever designed this place was kind enough to include a super-confusing staircase from the hotel to the ground below. However, that was not necessary as everyone can just jump off and take no fall damage. Aren't the Musou games neat for never including fall damage? Jumping off something that high has its fun in itself for the officers. Sima Yi is at the bottom, watching as mostly everyone hops off with grace. Definitely Zhang He has the most grace in his fall. The one with the least grace comes from Xun You getting pushed over the guard railing on the second level of the hotel by Jia Xu. Xun You is screaming as he descends even though he has zero risk of going splat against the earth.

"Okay, let's hope this park can outdo itself from yesterday." says Cao Cao.

"How?" Sima Yi asked with much emphasis. "HOW?"

"Oh, shush. You think everything is SO plain because duh, you can perform magical feats. I hope you at least behave yourself."

The blue box appears again and Sima Yi does what he will always do to it. Sima Yi goes to wander the park by himself and sees it has again changed. The terrain has changed, the rides have changed positions, and at least one super long roller coaster is covering the skies above the park's "boundaries". Whatever boundaries it supposedly had. There are more ravines and dangerously high peaks connected together by crazy winding walkways that would shut down any other park. Not many people would actually go up those walkways as they lacked guard railings. The only people actually walking on those were DW or SW characters since obviously they are fall-resistant.

There is a patch of unused land with the same giant derpy dragon from yesterday just sitting there. It had steam coming out of its nose and flapped its tiny wings. Sima Yi finds himself just standing before it, watching it move. He doesn't even know why he's watching this again. There is an urge to slice it with a laser, but there are children around. Including...

"Gracia!"

Sima Yi hears Mitsuhide behind him calling out for Gracia and braces in case of being asked about where she could have gone.

"Oh, Sima Yi. You're here again."

"Against my will."

"But you do not have younger children. ...Do you...?" Mitsuhide mutters under his voice,"I wonder if you had Sima Lun yet..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Uh, have you seen Gracia?"

"No, I just came here. Are you seriously coming here for three days too? Won't that be a bit expensive for your entire faction to come here?"

"Well, to be honest, it's not much of an expense as I can... well... lie about Lord Nobunaga's and Lady Noh's age to the blue box for the senior discount. But do not tell them that. There is also lying about Ranmaru's age to get the children's discount... Do not tell him that either... Anyway, I should get back to-"

"Finding your daughter?" asks Masamune walking up to him. He is holding Gracia up like a stray to hand off to Mitsuhide, saying,"I swear, I think you are just bad at this to the point everyone else is better than you at finding your own daughter. She literally was in the trash can you just passed by."

"Trash can?! What were you doing in there?"

"I remember seeing this lady doing that." says Gracia. "She was EVERYWHERE. So I thought these trash cans were portals that took you to different parts of the park."

"Lady?" Sima Yi arches an eyebrow. "Did she happen to have a scar here?" He draws lines across his right eye and one on the right side of his bottom lip.

"I couldn't see her face. I just knew it was a lady."

Sima Yi then looks over to see that Masamune doesn't Kojuro following him. "Hey, where is Kojuro?"

"Oh, I just ran off when he wasn't looking. You see, he figured that this place would be crawling with onryo, so he had to reach out to someone with expertise in ridding a place of cursed spirits."

"Kanetsugu?"

"He wanted him, but Kanetsugu was all like 'no, no this is a job for Aya'. And then he got Aya stuck with him against his will at her insistence."

"...So...?"

"Well, he's here with her now. Somewhere."

"...Why would you do that to him...?"

"What do you mean?"

"You intentionally left Kojuro with Aya."

"Yes. Your point?"

"Why?"

"Because... he can handle her better than me..."

"..."

"He's not in danger. Maybe. Look, maybe Kojuro will get laid and finally remove that stick up his ass. Or Aya will jam it back in him once it comes out."

"...Are you saying he's never been laid...?"

"What? No. I think...? He is very tight-lipped about his own life."

(Does he even HAVE his own life? He had holed himself up in your castle when you went missing for a month.)

"I'd say he has not."

(Could have fooled me.)

"Well, thank you... Masamune... For handing me Gracia..." Mitsuhide tells him with this sort of tone that clearly showed that he was uncomfortable saying "thank you" and "Masamune" in the same sentence.

"Wait, wait. I want to play with that dragon."

"It's... not alive, you know."

"Then why is it steaming through the nose?"

"...I..." Mitsuhide slowly turns his head towards Sima Yi as if he is the one with answers that Sima Yi responds quietly with a shrug. He turns back to her,"Sure."

"Yay!"

As she runs to that stuffed dragon, Xun Yu walks in on the same time, sighing. Sima Yi turns to him,"Took you long enough, hm?"

"Did you destroy anything prior to me arriving?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. What delayed you?"

"Well, I was giving Gongda some company when I was made to try this thing called a 'corn dog' by Jia Xu. I got sick shortly after and had to spend a couple minutes... expunging the toxins out of my system... in the bathroom at the bottom of that hell pit..."

"You could have picked other bathrooms."

"I couldn't. I had so little time. That was the closest one I got to."

Xun Yu then notices Masamune is not with a certain someone and has to point that out,"Where is Kojuro?"
"On a date with Aya."

"What?"

"Well technically, he's stuck with her. But you know, when you leave a guy and girl alone together, you might as well call it a date."

"...No?"

"It's fine. Aya can help you deal with evil spirits properly."

"So she can banish evil spirits?"

"Apparently she can."

"Ah, perfect. I forgot to look that stuff up when I got home. I was too busy enjoying my limited time away from this place." says Sima Yi.

"Hm, but if you have left Kojuro's sight, then obviously he would have trouble finding you."

"Aya is a magic user, right? She can track you guys."

"Hm, can she?"

"Well, obviously her strength has to come from somewhere that is obviously not love."

While they are waiting, Sima Yi presents the coupon to Xun Yu, saying,"I would like to redeem this."

"..." Xun Yu reads the coupon and says with furrowed eyebrows,"Void."

"How about a single ass kicking? Like I get to kick your ass once."

"No-" Xun Yu pauses and then feigns agreement,"Okay, fine." When he gets the coupon, he tears it up, saying,"I lied, void. Who even gave you that?"

Sima Yi pulls the pieces together to mend the coupon back together again to attempt to redeem it again with Xun Yu.

"I don't know. Maybe it's an anniversary gift from you."

"I would never give you such a gift that would harm me."

"Are you not going to honor this?"

"No! Why? What reason do you have for beating me up?"

"I just feel like it. Come on, you can even name the conditions."

Xun Yu snatches the coupon to set it on fire, the ash fluttering all around him, but Sima Yi fixes that too. When attempting for a third time, Xun Yu takes it without any question. But there was a catch. His thumb touches the wording around "entitled to kick Xun Yu's ass" written on the coupon and the word "kick" quickly turns into "kiss".

Xun Yu holds it up, acting confused at the piece of paper,"Sima Yi, I think you misread the coupon. It says to 'kiss' my arse. I am a bit confused onto why are you so vehemently pushing to redeem this coupon."

"What? No, it says 'kick'."

"No, it's says 'kiss'. But you know, if you really want to, I can stand here and let you do that."

"It says 'kick'."

"Oh, but are you sure? It says 'kiss' quite clearly here. It's much better than getting beat up, that's for sure." Xun Yu turns so that his back faces Sima Yi,"Well, here you go. You can go ahead and do so-"

Sima Yi rips out a speaker from the grass nearby, charges it up with magic electric energy to slam it right into Xun Yu's ass. There is an explosion upon impact which sends Xun Yu flying towards the stuffed dragon ahead of them.

A pair of pitch-black eyes open suddenly.

"He's here."

Xun Yu has a soft landing against the toy luckily, discharging whatever voltage that got on him into it. He coughs and wheezes, groaning at his mistake,"...I thought he would just burn or void the coupon himself..."

Gracia had moved away from the dragon to avoid Xun Yu being rocketed at her. She runs up to check on him when a strong gust of wind blows on the toy dragon. In the gust is Zheng Jiang's spirit shooting into the toy. The wind abruptly stops and the toy dragon's eyes glow red. The steam out of its nose turns to smoke as its entire body morphs and expands into a lot more threatening dragon covered in steel scales. Xun Yu and Gracia get lifted into the air as the body continues to grow with them on top of it. It also elongates so that the resulting new dragon has the long snake body of a Chinese dragon with giant wings like a Western dragon. It has multiple arms and legs that trail along its body. The head is a cross between the two types of dragons the dragon head that Maleficent had when she turned into one mixed in. As the dragon grows, it attracts all nearby steel and other metal structures to add onto its body to act as spiky armor. Which means it will take apart all roller coasters. After all of the metal bits get stuck on, the final product takes up half of the park's area.

Before it had reached that size, Mitsuhide leaped at it with his sword drawn to try and land a slash at the dragon, but the sword simply scraped against the steel scales, sparking up bits of metal that came off of his sword.

"That's a dragon, alright!" Masamune exclaimed. He pulls out a gun to fire at it, but you know, if a katana can't get through that, then the bullets don't do anything either. The bullets are absorbed into the dragon to add onto its mass.

Sima Yi locks eyes onto the dragon and detects incredible spiritual energy from the creature. His eyes remained on the creature long enough for an echoing voice to call out to him in passionate rage,"UPON DEATH I HAVE BEEN GIVEN NEW LIFE. THE SHAME OF BEING DISPOSED OF BY THE LIKES OF YOU IS EMPOWERING ME. I AM SURE NOT EVEN A SORCERER LIKE YOU CAN DEFEAT ME NOW. THIS PLACE WILL BE YOUR GRAVE."

The dragon is fully formed when Xun Yu stabilizes himself, careful not to get himself cut on the jagged steel beams covering Zheng Jiang's dragon. Gracia is hanging onto a beam, her dress having got caught pinned by another beam. He and Gracia are so high up, they could not see the previous three before.

"I will have to cut your dress, miss!" Xun Yu yelled as a warning, holding a finger up that is prepping a laser.

"Okay!" She braces as the laser goes through her dress and Xun Yu pulls her up. Once he has her, a steel beam bends towards him to reach at him, threatening to skewer him. He could hear Zheng Jiang's voice as well,"YOU ARE TRAPPED HERE."

Gracia puts herself in front of him with her hands out, shouting,"JET FUEL!" Then she blasts a pair of searing energy beams that melt the steel beams upon contact.

"What... What is that...?"

"It's a name I'm calling my attack."

Back down, Mitsuhide turns to Sima Yi,"You can get us up there and rescue Gracia."

"That would not be recommended. You should not be putting yourself near me unless you want to be put in danger. That dragon will target me."

Masamune makes a tsk sound,"I hope those two didn't get knocked out by the flying metal."

"I am sure Aya would not let herself be defeated by metal debris."

"That is correct, my adorable Sima Yi." says Aya as she struts her way over to the boy's group. Behind her is Kojuro floating inside a blue orb, clearly crying for help, but no sounds escape his prison. "So sorry for the late arrival, this place is a bit confusing to navigate, even with Four-Eyes here." She turns her attention to the dragon looming over everyone. "That is a... Such an intense spirit. I think this one might take more effort than I thought."

"What's the procedure?" asked Sima Yi.

"This onryo is powered by other onryo. You have to exorcise them one by one to weaken her before she gets her exorcism and banishment. I can sense them at various points of the dragon. You need to target those places. You do as well, no? Well, I am going to need a band of strapping young men as yourselves to protect me as I approach these onryo spots."

"They cannot be attacked with magic alone?"

"It only brings pain to the spirits. By giving them as much respect and love as if they were alive, they are unlikely to return as onryo again."

"Huff... If that's the way to do it, then... Lead the way..."

"Excellent."

Masamune points to the orb with Kojuro inside,"Aren't you going to let him out?" He doesn't get an answer as Aya starts walking with the orb and Sima Yi following her. He follows them as well.

"What about Gracia?" Mitsuhide asked as he caught up to Aya and Sima Yi.

"If she's with Xun Yu, then she's fine. Also, there's the fact she, well, I don't know, HAS A MUSOU LEVEL OF 4.7 MILLION. I am more worried for Xun Yu than her."

"Oh, as if the musou level means anything. Odin was the strongest beings we have ever come across and he died from being poisoned. Poisoned! In the other timeline of course."

"The worst Gracia could get hit with is herself."

The ravines around the park are occupied by long dragon body, where the limbs are clutching broken metal pipes and beams. They swing at anything that even moves in their general direction. The wings on the dragon flap to blow debris around, kicking up debris as it lowers its neck to sweep the general ransacked area around it, searching for Sima Yi likely.

"Those arms are likely controlled by the other spirits in segments." says Aya.

"So we should find the tail and work our way up."

"Yes... But the journey is perilous..."

The party stands before one of the ravines with a whole segment of limbs flailing around, chipping off earth with its tools. They are just outside the limbs' range they found out when Sima Yi throws a rock into the general area ahead and the limbs rushed to swat at it. One of the pipes do hit the rock, sending it rocketing at them. Everyone dives out of the way, but the blue orb containing Kojuro is left there, much to his horror. The rock crashes into the ground right besides it, sending a wave of dirt that coats the orb. From everyone's view, they see Kojuro stumble back in genuine fear as if he thought he was going to be hit by that rock.

Masamune narrows his eyes at Aya,"I think you're doing this on purpose."

"Why, you are very correct, little boy. It's just so much fun watching your butler squirm. Sima Yi, why don't you throw that orb at the them and see what they do?"

"...Why would I do that...?"
"If you are worried about him, he will be fine. That is a barrier that will shield up to 500,000 points of damage."

"I think those arms can hit for more than 500,000!" Masamune yelled at her.

"Wait...Can you let more people into the barrier?" Sima Yi asked.

"Hm? You want to join Four-Eyes?"

"No. All of us."

"That would be a bit crowded, don't you think?"

"What are you planning now?" asked Mitsuhide.

"Well, I'd say by using Kojuro's little prison there, I launch us over the dragon."

"But wouldn't the arms hit us back?"

"Yes, but that is I would like to take advantage of that monstrous strength. I can create a special gravity field behind us once I launch us off. When the limbs react by hitting us, it will send us flying back, the momentum of the blow taking us through that field. The power and energy from it will launch us further than those limbs could reach."

"...And... how sure are you of this working?"

"I am quite sure. Do you seriously doubt me, the great strategist Sima Yi?" (I just hope the barrier doesn't break.)

"Alright then. I trust you."

"So we're joining Kojuro in there." says Masamune. "I do not know what exactly you just said there word for word, but I think it will have to work if it's that crazy-sounding."

Aya is already moving when she says,"Well, let's not dawdle. May the power of love guide us."

It is a bit crowded inside the orb. When everyone gets inside the orb, Kojuro is of course confused.

"Huh, what are we doing? What's going on?"

"Executing a plan." Sima Yi told him simply. He points his finger forward, at the limbs ahead. It is how he activates his magic, but Kojuro saw it as a gesture to look and when he did, the orb gets launched at them as gravity changes direction and in power.

"AHHHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!"

As the orb got closer and closer to impact, Mitsuhide and Masamune freak out last minute in terms of their facial expressions. Probably reconsidering their decision of coming into this orb. One of the arms comes in to bat the orb away, sending it flying like a home run. The barrier holds up fine, but now the barrier is flying at stupidly high velocity into the sky, getting further and further away from any sign of land. At the peak of the ascent, Kojuro, Masamune, and Mitsuhide are the ones screaming, definitely now regretting everything. Aya doesn't seem to mind at all. Sima Yi has to plug in one of his ears as he creates the special gravity field. It is a field with a very specific pathway where if entered, it will take the orb into a C-shaped path, launching them back the way they came. The immense energy from being launched would be enhanced by the gravity in this.

The orb goes through that path and is now launched with even more power to the point the orb catches fire all over. It returns back to the park area, heading directly at the dragon's neck as it begins to hover a bit.

Sima Yi plugs his ears as the screams only intensified as they are about to make impact. The orb pierces through the dragon's neck like a massive bullet, taking pieces of broken metal that melted onto the orb. Xun Yu and Gracia were a bit below the site of puncture, watching with a mix of awe and confusion.

Aya looks out between the melted metal, point for Sima Yi,"The tail is down there."

"What?!" Sima Yi exclaimed over the screams of samurai.

"The tail is down there!" She raised her voice.

"What?!"

Aya sighs and points down for him. Then she mouths the words "the tail". Sima Yi looks over the melt metal and sees it. The dragon tail is resting in another ravine right below them, in which Sima Yi makes them drop straight down, converting all of the momentum they had to that direction. The sudden change causes everyone to press against the top of the orb in form of a human clump. Plenty of faces get pushed into places they shouldn't be. The orb tears through the tail so fast that the limbs could not react to it.

The final landing is inside of the ravine with the orb burrowing itself several feet deep before coming to a full stop. What did not come to a full stop are Masamune, Kojuro, and Mitsuhide's screaming.

"It's over." Both Sima Yi and Aya tell them. They stop right then to look around them to see it's dirt and that they've stopped moving.

Everyone's out of the orb now. It dissipates at Aya's command, dropping the bits of metal. Kojuro is on the ground, still reeling in from the trip while Masamune is catching his breath.

"That... That was scary... But... I kinda would want to do it again-"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Mitsuhide gathers himself first when he approaches the other two, gasping,"...We... We could have just attempted to travel around here without... the... heart-pounding experience..."

"I think this was a good idea. We would have avoided having to fight off the dragon when it found me." Sima Yi said. "There is also when the dragon moved, we wouldn't want to get caught in that. This actually cut the time it would have actually spent trying to find the tail."

"...I... I see..."

"If only Kenshin were to have witnessed this." Aya sighed. She looks up with everyone else at the orb-sized hole in the tail to see the inside is hollow with no biological parts inside. The outside is just metal on top of more metal.

"Strange, I sensed the spirit at around that spot when we were descending."

Sima Yi looks into the pit and sees faint wisps underneath the metal that came off the orb. He uses magic to move the metal to see a flattened female spirit.

"That orb took her right out!"

"Ah yes, that orb is harmful to evil spirits upon contact." Aya says as she looks over into the pit. "How convenient." She waves her staff and chants a few prayers here and there, which spiritually strike at the onryo, causing them to disappear from view entirely.

"Now there are only three spirits before having to deal with the main one."

Sima Yi points at the wide hole in the dragon,"We can just enter the creature itself. It doesn't seem to be able to regenerate."

"It doesn't seem like it felt that hit." adds Mitsuhide.

"The creature they possess is not living nor are they able to feel damage unless it's magic directed on them." Sima Yi sees it is a fair way up and draws a circle on the ground, telling people to get on it. He flies up towards the hole while the circle carves out a platform that follows him with its passengers on.

The hole is moving with the dragon now, but Sima Yi gets himself and his allies inside. Aya produces a ball of light that floats before them to act as a light source as inside is a single dark tunnel. They proceed to travel through the belly of the dragon without any attacks until they reach a point where steel beams attempt to skewer them through the walls.

"We are in another segment that has a spirit. We need to keep moving, but be careful."

"Wouldn't it make sense to try to cause as much damage in here so that it becomes unusable for the spirit?" asked Masamune.

"Hm, is the inside more vulnerable...?" As Sima Yi moves and ducks under a steel beam's jagged tip, he touches the walls to feel a felt-like texture. "It's... soft."

"Which means our swords can cut it!" Masamune draws his sword to drag the blade along the wall as he ran, landing a sleek clean cut through. As everyone could see, the walls are basically fabric with a layer of steel and metal on top. But as long as you cut the inside, everything comes apart quite easily. It's almost as if this thing was originally a stuffed toy dragon. Following his lead, Kojuro and Mitsuhide get to work on slicing through the top and other wall to let in light from the outside. Sima Yi tops their efforts off by occasionally drawing a laser starting from where Masamune is cutting to where Mitsuhide is on the other side. A large part of the dragon spreads open, weakening the swings of the limbs in that part. Sima Yi has everyone run ahead of him as he draws a full circle with a laser on the walls, slicing the creature in half from the inside.

They eventually find the spirit floating in the middle of the tunnel in which Aya immediately performs her rites on the spirit, sending it off just before they crossed through the area. The three that had been cutting through the walls continue to do so as they make their way through to the next segment that becomes hostile to them.

The main part of the dragon starts flapping the wings on it to take flight with its sliced parts tearing or coming off. What remained left is only half of its original massive size. The back of it droops down, now threatening to make everyone inside and on top fall out or off. However, as Sima Yi and the rest are tumbling down, a netting of steel beams block them from falling out. On the outside, Xun Yu has Gracia hold onto his back as he dangles off a random beam.

The dragon flies off, but hits invisible walls, much to the main head's dismay. A voice echoes out of it,"CURSES. EVEN IN THIS BODY I CAN'T LEAVE? WHAT KIND OF TRICKERY IS THIS?" The dragon then dives straight down, boring through a deep hole for itself. Xun Yu had created a giant hand that shields him and Gracia from being crushed against the dirt. This course of action pulls the people inside of the dragon further into it, getting knocked against internal steel beams like this is a game of human Plinko. Miraculously, the one character who wears glasses keeps them on and unharmed.

Sima Yi catches a glimpse of a spirit up ahead, in which he is about to grab Aya when the blue box telling him to pay appears. Turns out he owes more money for damage he did not even cause. Maybe for that speaker he smashed against Xun Yu's ass. He flies himself over to Aya to use it as a platform to catch her on. She stabilizes herself on it, lying on her stomach as she holds out her staff, chanting her prayers at the spirit they are falling towards. She and Sima Yi fall straight through the spirit, it disappearing upon Aya finishing up her prayer right up the last second.

Sima Yi throws up one of his arms back to fire three bolts that hit Masamune, Mitsuhide, and Kojuro's weapons, shouting,"That will give you an edge in ensuring you don't get battered up knocking around on these beams!"

"Terrible!" shouts Masamune back for that pun. "But thanks!" Just before he could slam his face against an incoming beam, he slices it off.

Aya tells Sima Yi as they fell,"We're getting closer to the main spirit. I will need you to be prepared."

"What about the last remaining spirit?"

"It's up ahead. However, I'd just like to be sure you and the others are prepared."

"Hey, it's getting a little hot in here." says Masamune.

"Hot?"

Sima Yi looks down with Aya and they see that tunnel ahead of them is smoking. They get closer in their fall to see fire melt the metal all around. The walls give away to reveal they are falling towards lava and burning rock.

"Oh s*bleep*!" Sima Yi keeps himself from falling, keeping Aya on the platform while he goes to scoop the others onto it. The rest of the tunnel behind falls towards them, where he gets to see a familiar giant hand clutching onto the body. The hand comes off fast to quickly scoop up Xun Yu and Gracia before they go for a dive in the lava below. They are now surrounded by hot rock in a fairly tight space and lava is below them.

"Good to see you've kept yourselves in relatively good condition." Sima Yi tells the two of them.

"Barely." Xun Yu replied.

"Why's this happening?" Gracia asked Sima Yi.

"Oh, an evil spirit wants to kill me after I killed her."

"Oh. Then I can just laser them back to wherever ghost world she came from then."

"That's a last resort if I cannot perform the peaceful banishment on her." says Aya.

The earthen walls shake as a pair of massive molten metal hands reach out of the lava below to to grasp them, digging their hands into it. Pulling out of the lava is a large metal woman's face.

"YOU ARE NOT ESCAPING HERE." She says, her voice rattling the earth around them. Her arms then slam themselves on either side of the earth walls, causing the hole way above to close up with manipulated dirt. The rest of her rises out of the lava, it being a feminine body made out of crude pieces of metal melted together from the heat. She reaches at the floating targets with hands that have jagged steel as her "nails". Swatting at them creates winds that force Sima Yi to spin around, the people hanging onto the blue platform dangling on. The giant hand containing Xun Yu and Gracia is more stable.

Once Sima Yi recovers, Aya directs him to the spot she sensed the last onryo. It is hard to get close due to the handfuls of lava Zheng Jiang hurls at him.

"WHY. WON'T. YOU. DIE?"

"You just can't aim!"

"Leave him alone!" shouts Gracia as she holds up her hands, instantly firing a grossly overpowered beam right into Zheng Jiang's head. It rips through, but doesn't hurt her, and hits the earth behind to bore a large and long hole. As Zheng Jiang turns to them, Xun Yu summons one other hand that grabs her head to force her straight down into the lava. Using this time she is being occupied, Sima Yi gets close to her burning hot body with Aya to find the final spirit to remove. They find it is inside of Zheng Jiang's shoulder. The shoulder is sliced off by the three samurai on the platform with them, leaving it to fly away from Zheng Jiang's influence. The spirit inside of the piece exits out of it in hopes to leave when Aya flings a talisman at it that freezes it in place, allowing her to exorcise it.

When the spirit disappears, Zheng Jiang's metal body shrinks considerably, but she is still strong enough to break out of Xun Yu's grip to proceed to swat at him as he is on his other giant hand.

Zheng Jiang opens her mouth and out comes a volley of metal jagged pieces at him. He produces a barrier that causes them to bounce right off.

"The head. Get us closer to the head." Aya tells Sima Yi. He flies near the head as it fired metal on Xun Yu, where Aya holds her staff at it. As she begins her chanting, Zheng Jiang snaps towards them to grab at Sima Yi, who jerks out of the way just in time, almost making Aya drop her staff. At the end of the chanting, Aya holds her staff and fires a beam into Zheng Jiang's head that forces her spirit out into the open to take the blow. The metal body sinks into the lava as Sima Yi flies up to the spirit to let Aya pelt her with talismans until her body is coated in them, freezing her in the air.

"O angry spirit! I shall inject love into your soul so that you may pass onto the next plane of existence!" Aya shines an intense light from her staff that essentially vaporizes Zheng Jiang's spirit from view before she could even loudly curse any of them.

"Great. She's gone. Time to head back to the surface. It's scorching down here." (And I didn't have to do much work or expend much energy except for flying.)

"The hole got sealed." says Mitsuhide.

"And you say that like that's an issue."

Sima Yi points at the spot of packed dirt as he gets close to the floating hand, asking Gracia,"I am sure you'd like to give that a hit, no?" By then, he drops off his passengers onto the hand and makes Xun Yu carry them as he exits out of that blue box.

"Oh sure. Just get me within range."

Xun Yu takes the hand up to the spot for Gracia, giving everyone a front row seat for what's to happen. Gracia pushes both her fists up into the dirt, punching a pair of energy beams that vaporize a giant hole in the earth. The beam stretches up into the sky, everyone turning to see what the hell that was. The beam destroys clouds in its path as it rips a pair of holes in the ozone layer before dissipating into space. Yup, they have their exit now.

Xun Yu is staring at the sky, forgetting to float everyone back up. Everyone is speechless, staring at the sky with him with both awe and a bit of terror.

"You've given birth to a monster." Masamune quickly whispered to Mitsuhide.

Everyone is out of the ground now and the hole gets sealed by Xun Yu as he makes his hands grab handfuls of dirt to cover it. He does a decent job, but that is a giant sinkhole waiting to happen. The smoke clears, revealing that the amusement park is beyond repair.

"Well, that means I don't have to continue staying here, right?" Sima Yi asks to Xun Yu.

"...Let's... Let's just find the others and hope they didn't get hurt in this encounter..."

"Right." Sima Yi turns to Aya,"Well, I thank you for your efforts. Surely you would want some compensation?"

"Oh, not at all, Sima Yi. It is an honor for me to even lend you my services. Now, I best be getting back if I am not needed anymore."

"Oh... Okay...? Goodbye then."

"This experience of seeing Kojuro look that terrified is good enough payment anyway. Farewell." When she had fully left, Kojuro goes on to frantically ask Sima Yi,"How can you both possibly not be scared as you get hurled at speeds that would kill a man?!"

"Did you forget I can fly?"

"Have you ever gone that high?"

"No, the air gets thin up there. If you had gone through what I have, then you'd understand how nonchalant I am to that sort of thing. Remember when we had to rescue Masamune from that faraway planet?"

"That happened? Oh, it did!"

"Ah, you don't get that much excitement then. I suppose that's good for you."

"Sadly." Masamune chimes in, crossing his arms.

"What do you mean 'sadly'?!" Kojuro snaps to him.

"What? Sure, there's the fear of getting extremely injured, but that's the part of the rush."

"We are going back to our lodging. I am really tired after all that's happened."

"Yeah, there's nothing here anymore. The owner's pissed. If he or she or they existed."

"They better not be making me pay for this..." Sima Yi groaned.

"You know, even if it was a bit scary, that whole thing was pretty fun." Gracia remarked.

"Huh?! How can you possibly think that was fun?!" Mitsuhide exclaimed. "You were at risk! Your dress is ruined!"

"Well yeah, but can't magic fix that?"

Xun Yu gets reminded of that and goes over to her,"Ah, I almost forgot. I was the one who had to ruin your dress. I can just repair that since I remember what it looked like before." He gives Gracia's dress a zap and it repairs itself instantly.

"Yay! Thank you, Mister Xun Yu!"

"..."

"We have a great story to tell the others!"

"...Do we...? I am not... even sure if... they would even believe us..." Mitsuhide's soul looks like it is trying to escape his body, but he brings it back so that he could walk Gracia out of the recent battlezone.

"Okay, what happened this time?" Cao Cao asked in a foul mood as he sat on a piece of metal with Sima Yi and Xun Yu before him. Other officers are scattered around, looking a little dirty from debris getting blown onto them from earlier.

"Uhh... I am sure you saw what it was..."

"Yes, I did. But I want to know HOW. I know it has to be either of you."

"W-Well, at least we don't have to worry about terrorism anymore since the main leader just died. Her spirit attacked us, but that's taken care of. Everything's fine."

"The park is destroyed."

"Well, that's unfortunate. Luckily it got destroyed on the third day."

"Huff... Can't we go anywhere without you attracting trouble?"

"No. Never. You might as well omit me from any faction outing we have."

"Fine, maybe I should next time since you obviously have no sense of fun."

"So now what?"

"Well, this place is destroyed. And I don't see it repairing itself."

"Aw, such a shame..." Sima Yi said without a lick of sympathy in his tone. "That means we can leave..."

"I'm sure we all got our fill anyway."

As everyone leaves, Sima Yi continues to wonder,"I wonder who even owned that place. Did they get caught in the rampage and died? It would explain why none of that is fixing itself." He is actually able to leave now, without any blue box, much to his relief.

"That seems the most likely." says Xun Yu. "That creature took up a lot of space."

"Huff, oh well. I suppose that's for the best. I would have liked to know what they looked like."

It cuts to a computer screen displaying the destroyed amusement park from a bird's eye view. The computer is in a dark chamber, on top of a desk along with other computer screens. Only one other one is on with Minecraft being played currently by a shadowy figure at the desk. On the desk are empty bottles of wine and opened sardine cans. The camera pans around to try to get some view of the chamber, but it is pitch black. However, it snaps to a door in the room, which opens slowly to have a familiar face peek in to say meekly to the shadow sitting at the desk,"U-Um, Father...? The one called Susano'o has stopped by... What do I say to him-Oh...!" His face gets shoved aside as Susano'o lets himself in.

"I have no need to go by pleasantries with a pitiful excuse of a god. Grr, it's so dark in here. How do you even live like this?"

Silence.

"Well, I'm here to check up on you. To see if you have any funny business going on. And-Oh god...!" Susano'o recoils at the stench coming from a giant pile of empty sardine cans he is standing next to. He holds his sword out to make a light at the tip of it, directing it at the shadow seated at the desk to see Odin glaring at him with a soulless red eye before he yells at him at the top of his lungs,"ARE YOU DAFT?! GET THE F*BLEEP* OUT OF MY ROOM I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT!"

"Are you a goddamned child?! What are you doing playing video games?!"

"OUT!" Odin grabs a wine bottle and hurls it at Susano'o, but it returns to him, hitting him in the head. "OW!"

"Unbelievable." Susano'o turns and leaves, muttering,"That stick is one of the greatest threats to this universe... Unbelievable..."

Sima Yi is in his house now and gets approached by Zhang Chunhua to ask,"Dear, I feel like there's something you need to acknowledge."

"Like what? Our anniversary?"

"No, but it is close."

"...Your birthday...?"

"No, this story is five years old. Do you not feel anything about that?"

"..." Sima Yi gives it some thought, but says,"No."

"Nothing?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Surely it's a milestone for you and for whomever is writing this."

"Sure. I suppose. We do not need to constantly celebrate everything this story hits. It's old, that's it. It was founded on the premise of cheap jokes and Xun Yu's misery. The fact it even has gone this long is because people want to see me suffer."

The screen cuts to static to go straight to our next segment, Author's Extended Commentary.

Yeah, this story is old. It's old enough to go to preschool by now. Amazing that I even kept this going. I never thought it would get to five years, but I also never thought of an ending, so that's something. I started this fanfiction when I was 14 and it shows. But of course, as I got older, the writing and comedy shifted. Or so I thought. I dunno. There's always a dick joke somewhere. I'd say the most fun part of writing this is the dialogue and how Sima Yi would interact with this certain character. There's also doing the WO stuff occasionally. And well magic DBZ stuff. Even if it's inconsistent. I do have this fanfic to blame when it comes to how much I like Xun Yu now. This is also a way to dump all of my ideas about the Musou games since the English fandom is small and not much content is around to consume.

But yeah, I have to thank all those who read this fanfic and keep it alive through sending in letters, even if I may forget a couple of them. Or be slow in writing. Real life does that to you. It is a real trip with this fanfic I gotta say and I hope I can keep going until when the end comes. I don't know when. We'll see.

Hahaha, you thought it would hit 2 million words on this chapter. Not even close. Maybe next chapter.