"Ike, you have to see the doctor. Something's super wrong with you," Marth insisted, dragging his best friend Ike towards the infirmary, although the prince had to use both hands just to grab on to one of Ike's super buff arms.

"But why?" Ike asked.

"Because," Marth said, "you weren't half as dumb as this in Brawl." Since the Brawl tournament, Ike had put on a ridiculous amount of muscle and had somehow lost a big portion of his intelligence.

"Huh? Whaddya mean?" Ike wondered, his memories of Brawl having long since been erased from his goldfish-like brain.

Marth sighed. "Never mind."

XXX

Dr. Mario turned towards Marth with a sad expression on his face. "Your friend here," the doctor said, gesturing towards Ike, "is suffering from a severe case of 'Sudden Buffness Brainpower Loss.'"

"What's that?" Marth asked, worried. Ike, in the background, was drooling at a picture of a rooster on the wall.

Dr. Mario tapped a pen against the clipboard he held. "Well, in simple terms, it means that he got too buff too quickly, and his brain, alas, is unused to having to manage so many new muscles. He'll be dumb like this for a while until he gets used to all his muscles."

"So nothing's permanently wrong with him?"

"Absolutely not. He's fine, although you might want to keep a safe distance from him until he regains intelligence. SBBL victims often are unaware of the extent of their own power. He might accidentally punch you through a wall. Even just a high five could be disastrous."

Dr. Mario turned to Ike. "Ok, Ike. I know what's wrong with you, but I have to check to make sure using my foolproof diagnosis technique. I'm going to ask you a few questions," he said, and then muttered to himself, "I had to use this on Little Mac many years ago."

"Yay!" Ike clapped, causing the medical equipment to clatter as if there were an earthquake.

Dr. Mario took a deep breath and said, "Ike, what's one plus one?"

Marth squinted at the doctor weirdly.

"Uhhhh..." Ike struggled to think as he held up his pointer fingers and tried to put them together. After a moment, he burst out, "I got it! It's eleven!"

"Little Mac said the same thing," Dr. Mario sighed as he made a check mark on a paper. He reached over to a table and held up a picture of Kirby wearing a Mario hat. "Who is this?"

A few long minutes dragged by as Ike stared blankly and slack-jawed at the picture. Finally he answered, "Is it food? I'm kinda hungry."

Marth facepalmed. "I'm gonna have to deal with this for the next few months?"

"Unfortunately," the doctor said as he made another check mark on his paper and scribbled down a few words. "Now onto the next test." He pulled open a drawer and lifted up an obviously plastic chicken leg. Ike gasped and his eyes suddenly took on a feral gleam. Before Dr. Mario had a chance to ask Ike what the chicken leg was, the buff mercenary bellowed so loudly, Link went deaf a few miles away.

"CHICKEN!"

Ike sprang at the poor doctor, who, with his quick reflexes, threw the chicken away in a desperate attempt to save himself. It didn't work, though, because Ike was too slow to change direction and plowed into Dr. Mario, who crashed through the wall and into the next room. Ike leapt to his feet, spinning around wildly as he tried to find the chicken. Of all places, it had landed in Marth's lap where he sat, paralyzed, in a chair.

"GIMME MY CHICKEN!" Ike howled like a deranged beast.

Marth screamed like a girl (which was pretty normal for him) and threw the chicken out the window, which was opened a little. With a cry of "MY CHICKEN!" Ike dove headfirst through the window, causing shards of glass to fly through the air like glittering daggers. Luckily, Marth's body armor saved him from injury and Dr. Mario was still out cold in the other room where Ike flung him, too far to get cut by the glass.

Outside, Ike pounced on the chicken and caused the concrete to crack as he landed on it. He gulped down the plastic chicken and said, "Mmmmm!"

With a resigned sigh, Marth picked his way through the glass shards over to where Dr. Mario lay in a crumpled heap. The prince shook Dr. Mario on the shoulder. The doctor's eyes fluttered open.

Dr. Mario said in a daze, "At least he knew what it was."

XXX

AN: So, what sort of trouble is Ike going to get into? This is my first fic, so any suggestions are welcome!