Title: To Love Him
Category: Books » Harry Potter
Author: YouSlyGryffindor
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Published: 07-29-14, Updated: 09-01-14
Chapters: 12, Words: 22,680

Edited and revised on 12/13/2016

This story is dedicated to arashi wolf princess for her birthday on August 30th at vampygurl402s request. She requested either a SBHP fic or a DMHP fic for you, and I did this Drarry. Happy birthday, dearest reader.

The Beginning

The war is over, Harry thought, not for the first time that summer.

He breathed deeply, letting the smell of the sweet summer air flow through him.

He was seventeen now, almost eighteen. And free.

Harry was staying at Hogwarts for the summer, helping to clean up the last of the damage from the war. Not that there was much left to do. Magic simply was convenient sometimes. He kept alternating between feeling free and content to feeling guilty over the people that were lost, but he was done with that now. Done with giving so much and being unhappy.

He looked down at the grounds from his place on the tower, wincing slightly when he saw a flash of red hair.

Ginny.

She was probably looking for him, yet again. He knew he should probably stop avoiding her, as it was an utterly cowardly thing to do, and he was most certainly not a coward, but he couldn't seem to be able to summon his inner Gryffindor. He could face a monstrous snake, sure. A fire-breathing dragon, no problem. A dark lord, any time.

A girl? Couldn't he just face another dark lord?

She would want to get back together, he knew. He would have no excuses of danger or the war now. He would just have to tell her the truth.

With a wave of his wand, his stag formed.

"Tell Ginny, Ron, and Hermione to meet me in the common room. I have something we need to discuss."

His patronus nodded slightly before floating off.

He walked down the hall with lead in his feet, knowing he was putting off the inevitable and that it wouldn't help anything, but not being able to convince himself to move any faster.

He spotted Draco a bit further down the way, curled up against the wall. Him and Draco had gotten over their animosity over the past year to the point where Harry no longer felt he had to watch his back around the Slytherin. Draco was just another scared little boy, just like him.

"Draco?" he called out, concerned for the blonde.

He received a sniff in response.

"What happened?"

He couldn't help but want to gather the young man up in his arms and protect him from all the darkness in the world. The Slytherin had already been through so much.

He didn't think Draco would react too fondly to that however, and settled for putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Come on Draco. You can tell me."

"M-my father. He's- and I-" Draco gasped, cutting himself off to bury his head in his pale hands.

Lucius's sentence was public information. Two months was the best Harry had been able to do. He hadn't really wanted to, not really, but the boy had been so fearful around the time of the trial.

Harry gave in the urge to hold him, bringing the smaller boy onto his lap. Draco reacted by moving his face into Harry's chest and wiggling to get comfortable.

"He'll be out soon Dray," he whispered, "Your father is a strong man. He'll be fine. He'll fight tooth and nail, and then he'll march his pompous arse out of that cell like he owns the world."

The pale student gave a small chuckle, loosening his hold on his comforter, realizing their proximity. His cheeks were rose as he averted his eyes to the stone floor.

Harry released him before standing.

"Don't worry your heart about it, Dray. All will be well. I'm always here for you, you know."

The young Malfoy scoffed, "I don't see why you bother giving me a chance, Potter. You know I'll screw it up."

"We all screw up, Draco. It's part of being human."

Draco bit his lip, remembering that his birthday was coming soon, bringing with it his Veela inheritance.

But I'm not fully human, he thought.

"Thanks, Harry."

"See you later, Draco."

Then he continued his descent to his doom.

"What is it you wanted to talk to us about?" Hermione asked, looking at him with curious eyes.

"You three might want to sit down."

Ginny didn't though, choosing instead to hug him.

"Don't worry, Harry!" She crooned. "I'll love you no matter what."

"Ginny, you'll probably be the angriest about this."

Her brown eyes shown, "Why? Have you found someone else? Is that it, Harry? You don't want me anymore?"

"I haven't found anyone else, Gin."

"Well then I don't see what I could possibly be angry about! There's no more war, Harry! You killed Vol-Voldemort! We can be together again! We can-"

"Ginny," He interrupted harshly, "I'm afraid that won't be happening."

"We can get… wait what? Why?"

He took a deep breath, focusing intently on the place above her head so he wouldn't have to see the hurt in her eyes.

"After a lot of thinking and reflection, I've come to the conclusion that I am gay."

"Is this some sort of joke?" she whispered.

He shook his head, finally looking her dead in the eye.

"No," he admitted. "I realized it over the past year, and I thought that you three should be the first to know."

The silence after his confession was deafening, making the pop of Ginny's palm across his cheek resound through the room before she ran out of the room.

"You bastard," muttered Ron, jumping to his feet, "You absolute wanker!"

"Ron…"

"NO. Tell me you're joking Harry. This is just some cruel prank."

The defeated seriousness of his best mate told him the truth however.

"You- prick! You bloody fruit! Why the hell would you date MY sister then! You bloody well know she's been in love with you for the past seven years! Thought it'd be fun, did you? Breaking her heart! Telling her you loved her when all this time," he pointed a finger to his chest, "You've been a freaking pansy!"

Harry shrugged, "I didn't mean to lead her on. I swear, Ron. I didn't even realize it till we left school last year. I love her, Ron, but not like that. And I never told her that I loved her. I never promised to take her back after all this was over. She just assumed we would be together! But people change! I changed! I realized how I truly felt, and I'm not going to pretend any longer! I refuse to let anyone else make my decisions for me."

Hermione frowned, giving Harry a look of disapproval.

"Don't you think we deserve a bit of consideration here, Harry? After all we've been through, shouldn't we reserve the right to hold judgement?"

He saw red, snarling back at her, "And don't you think, that after everything I'VE been through. After risking my neck for the safety of the world who has treated me worse than a stray dog, that maybe I deserve a little a freedom? I'm not here to ask your permission. I came to tell you. Now I've said what I had to say, and I'm leaving."

"And where do you think you're going?"

He ran a hand through his hair, breathing deeply and resisting the urge to scream 'None of your damn business.'

"I'm going to visit Snape. He's being released today, and I promised to help him settle in."

Ron crossed his arms, "I don't see why you waste your time with that git."

Harry's eyes flashed, "Maybe because he saved my life. Or because he's a hero. Or because he tells me stories about my mother. Maybe it's not any of that. Maybe I just like being treated like an adult, with respect. And he does that now that he doesn't have to pretend anymore."

"Fancy him now or something?"

Harry used his magic to force Ron against the wall.

"For your information, I don't. I'm just really sick of pretending and fighting, and so is he. But it's none of your business who I fancy now is it?"

~~HPDMHPDMHPDMHPDM~~

"You seem distressed."

Snape's voice was raspy with the strain it took to use his damaged throat.

"I am distressed," Harry snarked.

"Care to enlighten me as to why?"

"Not terribly."

The older man patted the seat next to him, smirking amusedly at his younger companion.

"I'm here as a friend, Harry."

The use of his first name pushed him over the edge, and he found himself wanting to tell someone—anyone.

"I told them- of my... inclinations."

Severus rose a surprised eyebrow.

"You are homosexual?"

He nodded.

"That is usually quite accepted in the magical world, especially in modern society. I can't imagine the Golden Trio having harsh reactions to the information."

"It wasn't that," he supposed. "I think the fact that I will no longer be with Ginny was the problem."

His professor stood, "They'll come around, Harry, and if they don't, they aren't worth your friendship."

Harry nodded, feeling happier with his new mentor's assurances.

Two weeks later found Harry at the headmistress' office, bracing himself for whatever reason he was called there. He hadn't spent much time outside of his room other than to run errands to Gringotts or to speak at the ministry. He had even taken to taking his meals in his room, alone except for a book and bottle of butterbeer.

When he pushed open the door, he was surprised to find Draco sitting in front of the desk, along with his mother. Minerva was looking at them with sympathetic eyes.

"Professor McGonagall, you called? Is something the matter?"

He noticed the redness of Draco's eyes along with his shivering, and immediately moved to stand next to him. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he wished the world would just stop shitting on Draco Malfoy.

"Please take a seat, Harry; we have much we need to discuss with you."

He placed himself in the spot closest to the upset boy, grateful that he was in the small sofa rather than the chair so that he could nonchalantly place his hand comfortingly on the other boy's arm.

"What is it, Headmistress?" He asked politely, masking his worry. He hadn't seen Draco cry since two weeks ago when his father was sentenced to Azkaban. Harry made a mental note to give him his belated birthday present after the meeting that was still in his dorm.

"Well, if you didn't already know, it was Mister Malfoy's 18th birthday a few days ago."

Harry nodded.

"As you probably also know, the 18th birthday is also the day a witch or wizard comes into their magical inheritance."

Harry nodded again.

"Well, Mister Malfoy here, did come into his inheritance."

Harry resisted the urge to huff in annoyance, biting out, "Professor, not that I don't enjoy a good story now and again, but can you please get on with it?"

He heard Draco give a soft chuckle next to him, and he squeezed his shoulder in acknowledgement.

"Oh- yes- well- you see-"

"My son is a Veela, Mister Potter," Narcissa informed him, apparently annoyed with the elder woman's sputtering. "As such, he has a mate. The reason you were called up here, is because Draco has identified his mate as you, and we found it prudent to alert you."

Harry sucked in a large breath, "You're kidding."

She curled up her nose, "I do not 'kid' Harry Potter, especially not about the health of my son."

Harry glanced down at said boy, frowning when he noticed his grey eyes were avoiding him. He turned to the headmistress.

"So, what do we need to do?"

Inside his thoughts were swarming. He was Draco's mate? Draco, prince of Slytherin, his nemesis, the most attractive person in Hogwarts, his crush for the past who really knows- Draco was a Veela? Harry knew quite a bit about Veela's, and he knew what an honour it was to be chosen as a mate, but he just couldn't wrap his mind around it.

Another decision being taken from him.

At least it's Draco, he thought, someone you actually like.

"Well, if you accept Draco as your mate-"

Harry cut her off, "What do you mean "if"? Won't he die if I reject him?"

Draco's soft voice cut in, "I would rather die than have you accept and not mean it."

"I'm not letting you die, Dray."

Draco closed his eyes, "If you accept me without loving me, you will regret it. I require loyalty. If you cannot devote yourself fully to me, don't accept. I don't want to be dependent on someone who regrets their decision to save me for the rest of my life."

Harry frowned at the way Draco spoke as if his life wasn't worth anything.

"What needs to happen?" Harry repeated, not taking his gaze from the Veela.

His mother spoke, "He requires your touch often, especially before the bond. It's a type of reassurance to the Veela that you aren't rejecting him, even if you aren't yet accepting. Because of that, Hogwarts will provide you with separate quarters. If you reject him, he will die. If you accept him, you two will keep the quarters for the remainder of the school year. You don't have to make this decision yet, you can just live together, and see if it will work out."

"He needs touch?" Harry narrowed his eyes at Draco, "What happens if he doesn't get it, and how often does he need it?"

"Holding his hand for an hour or so a day should do it," the headmistress said. "I recommend doing so during meals or while doing homework. Without it he will feel very cold, then dizzy. Eventually he will pass out."

Harry blinked before facing Narcissa, "What about now?"

She nodded at his shivering form.

Harry cursed under his breath before reaching for Draco's hand. The pale hand pulled away.

"I don't want your pity. Don't-"

"For goodness sake, Draco!"

Harry reached out with both hands, gripping his shoulders.

"I haven't yet made my decision, but I would like you to survive until I have. I'm not sacrificing anything by touching you. I care about you, Dray; please stop torturing yourself."

The Veela bit his lip, seemingly conflicted.

In one fell swoop, Harry had lifted Draco into his arms and plopped down onto the sofa making him yelp.

"Har-"

"I'm not hearing it. You're going to sit here in my lap if it kills me to keep you here."

Draco huffed, be he was done fighting it. He was letting the warmth return to him. Letting the safety of his mate cover him like a blanket. The sleep that had avoided him without his mate overtook him quickly.

Harry smiled down at his sleeping form, before frowning.

"Has he not slept?"

Narcissa sniffed, "He couldn't, not when he's been itching for your touch. He must be exhausted."

A sharp knock was heard on the door, before it was pushed open.

"I apologize for being late. Is Dra-" Severus stopped, catching sight of Harry, "Harry? What are-" His eyes dropped to the sleeping boy in his arms, "You're his- aren't you?"

Harry couldn't help the small lift of his lips.

"Yea," He turned to Minerva, "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"Well, to bond-"

Harry cut her off, "Professor, no offense, but I can read. I know everything that's in the books about Veela. I just didn't know exact requirements for him. If this is all, I would like to move Draco to a proper bed."

"Of course, Harry. Severus will show you the way."

Harry stood with his mate in his arms, shifting slightly as to make him more comfortable. The smaller boy turned toward him, nuzzling into his neck.

"Lead the way, Professor."

Severus shortened his strides so that Harry could keep up, keeping his face emotionless.

"Professor?"

"Please Harry, school isn't in session. Call me Severus. Draco does."

"Of course. Severus, what do you think of all this?"

"I don't see how that really matters, Harry. All that matters is how you feel. How are you taking this?"

Harry smiled, "The lack of control over everything bothers me a bit, but at least it's Draco. Fate could have stuck me with Ginny, or god forbid, Ron," he made a disgusted face, "Yea, it could certainly be worse than making me the mate to Draco Malfoy."

As if hearing his name, Draco buried himself further into Harry's neck.

"I don't expect you to accept him readily, but please don't hurt my godson."

Harry smiled, "Severus, I will never intentionally hurt him."

Severus stopped in front of a portrait of the sunset, "Anima unitur."

"What does that mean?"

"Soul united. You can change it if you want."

Harry shook his head, "No, I kinda like it."

Severus glanced over at Harry as he laid the Veela on the brown couch before gazing around at the sitting room. It was done in light, natural colors.

"You like him."

It wasn't a question.

"Yea, a bit actually. I don't know if I can accept him as mine forever, but I'm leaning more towards acceptance than rejection."

"That's wonderful Harry."

Severus actually looked quite happy for the two, if not oddly saddened.

"What is it, Severus?"

Dark eyes looked at the boy he had come to love like a son, "Life is a tough thing to go through alone."

Harry surprised him by pulling him into a hug.

"Those who love us never truly leave us, Severus, and you've got me. You've got Draco."

Severus shook his head slightly.

"I know it's not the same, but it'll do for now. You're still young, you know."

He scoffed, "I'm also a greasy potions professor with the dark mark on his arm."

"You're more than that. You're a courageous potions master, who happens to be very powerful and strong. You happen to be a very caring man, if not private. You're very intelligent and funny. You've got a lot to offer, Severus, you just don't see it. You'll find someone who sees you for what you're worth, even if you don't."

"Thanks, Harry."

Draco made a whimpering noise, "Stop- Stop-! I don't want- please stop!"

Harry dropped to his knees beside the couch, running his hand through Draco's hair.

"Hush, Dray, it's just a dream. It's not real."

Draco calmed slightly, pushing his head into Harry's hand.

Severus smiled to himself, "I'll let you settle in. try to wake him before lunch. He needs to eat, and if he sleeps any longer he won't sleep tonight."

"No problem."

Harry watched his professor leave before turning to analyze Draco.

He was curled up against the cushions. His usually perfect hair was mussed and his lips slightly parted. Harry ran his fingers through the light blonde strands.

"How'd I get so lucky?" he whispered, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

The one boy that made his heart beat faster than anything in the world was his mate.

He knew he would probably end up accepting the bond, but he wasn't ready to yet. Not to mention, bonding would require a few things he just wasn't ready to do just yet.

He shot a glance at the clock hanging on the wall.

"Draco. Draco, it's time to wake up."

The blonde shifted in his sleep, "Mm. Go 'way, mum. M'tired."

Harry ran a thumb down Draco's jaw, smirking when he opened his eyes.

"I'm not your mum, Dray, and Severus wants you up to eat lunch today."

"Harry? How did I get in here?"

"I carried you down from the office. You fell asleep in my lap remember?"

Draco sat up with a jerk, "I fell asleep in your-" he turned pink, "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Oh hush, Dray. It's not a big deal. Your mum said you hadn't slept well, so I just let you sleep. You're not exactly heavy you know."

Draco blushed, avoiding Harry's gaze.

"You don't have to- What I mean is-" He took a deep breath, "How do you feel about me, Harry? And this mate business, how do you feel about that?"

Harry cocked his head to the side. Deciding to go for the blunt approach he stated, "I like you Draco. Fancy you, have for a while. I'm not sure how I feel I s'pose. It's an honour, to be a Veela mate. Not to mention being the mate to someone you actually find attractive. That's a plus."

Draco was beet red and wide eyed when he replied, "You fancy me? Don't joke like that Harry, it's not right! Don't say-"

"Draco!"

Harry frowned at him thoughtfully, not understanding why he didn't believe him. His eyes were full of fear and a tinge of hope, and he knew what to do.

He leaned up from his place on the ground taking the pale face in his hands.

"I'm not lying to you, Draco. I promise. I like you."

Draco shook his head in denial, "W-Why?"

"Why? Because- well I've got a few reasons. Do you need to hear them?"

The look on Draco's face told him he most certainly did.

"I like your sense of humour, and your biting wit, and your strength, and the way you smile at the sun, and how you curl up into a ball when you read a book, and how you bite your lip when you're thinking, and how you lose yourself when you make a potion, or how your face lights up when you fly, or-"

"You do?" Draco turned cross, "Do you like how I was a coward, and how I bowed at the Dark- at Vol- at his feet? Do you like how I tortured you through school, and how I break down at the simplest things because I'm fucking weak and-"

Harry gripped his chin, "You aren't weak, Drake."

"I'm-"

"No. You're going to listen to me, Draco Malfoy. You are not weak. I like how you turned away from Voldemort. How you tried so hard to keep your family safe. I like how you turned away from your father's influence, and how you take off that mask when your around me. I like that, Dray. I like you."

Draco shook his head, "You shouldn't. You should hate me. Hate me for what I've done, for what I am, for being your mate."

"I don't hate you, Dray, and I'm not leaving you to die either."

Draco shook his head.

"I don't…"

He trailed off, looking down at his hands. He seemed lost.

Harry lifted his chin to look in his eyes.

"I'm going to kiss you, Draco Malfoy."

Draco startled, "You-" he stopped before nodding unsurely, "Okay," he whispered.

Harry pressed his lips to the soft ones awaiting him, moving them in a slow rhythm against the other's. Harry didn't press for more than that, delighted in the simple fact that Draco was responding. He pulled away, smiling at the Slytherin.

"It's time for lunch."

The blonde nodded, stunned.

"Do you believe me?"

He nodded again.

"Good."

And that was the first chapter.

Happy Reading!