That door opened again, that door again and Dean almost retched... Again.

"Morning." That voice sang again, that voice again and Dean did retch... Again. "Still?" He drawled as he walked into the... would it be called a 'room'? Dean looked up to his face. Still the same. He had blood stains on his skin. "I thought we had started to bond." He leaned into Dean's face. "I think you know what I'm going to ask you," he smiled, "don't you, Dean?"

He just stared at Dean and he felt so many eyes on him. So many it made him crawl and jump.

Jump right out of his sleep. He turned to look at Castiel sitting in the corner of the room staring at him, his hands clasped in front of him as he leaned his elbows on his knees.

"Cas," Dean looked away annoyed, "you scared the Hell out of me." Dean ignored the truth of what he had just said.

"Hello Dean, I apologise for startling you out of your sleep. It was not my intention."

Dean rubbed his face and sat up, still in his clothes, to look at the time. It was eleven at night. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Where's Sam?" Cas hadn't moved, he was looking at his hands as he rubbed them together slightly.

"I don't know, he went to a bar earlier, he probably hooked up." Cas nooded. "What's wrong?" Dean stood and turned towards him.

Castiel thought about asking Dean about it, about the mumbling and the crying but as Dean walked into the bathroom and waited until he turned his back to wipe his eyes Cas decided not to. "I, uh, I was feeling..." Cas paused and tried to think of the word as Dean appeared back in the doorway looking at him. "I just needed a friend."

"At this time? What for?" Dean leaned against the frame looking at Cas.

Cas leaned back and exhaled. "I don't know."

Dean stared at him for a few minutes before he sighed. Only one thing for it. "Give me a second to wash up and we'll go for a drink."

Cas nodded and Dean turned around back into the bathroom. When he looked in the mirror he could see him staring back at him. Smiling. Dean opened the door to the medicine cabinet just to face him away.

.

Dean washed up and they headed a couple of blocks over to a bar. They walked in, it was quite like the roadhouse but a little busier than Dean had even seen Ellen's place. Ellen and Jo popped into Dean's head and he closed his eyes inhaling as he sat down at the bar. He came back to himself when Cas sat down next to him and he gestured to the barman for two whiskeys.

A few sips in Dean spoke. "So, what's the deal, Cas?" He turned his head to the former angel.

Cas tipped the glass this way and that watching the liquid swirl, not sure he wanted to drink it. "Not sure."

"Just feeling rubbish?" Cas nodded and Dean lifted the glass, pausing with it just before his lips to talk. "Tell me about it." He downed it.

"Well, I just feel so unhappy and..." Dean turned his head after he put the glass down, he hadn't meant it literally but, as usual, Cas had took it that way, "heavy."

"Life'll do that to you." Cas looked up. "Especially yours."

Cas laughed through his nose and looked back to his glass. "Yes."

"What?" Dean gestured for two more to the barman.

"It's just funny that you would say that," the barman walked over, "having been through what you have."

They nodded to the man as he walked away. "Me and Sam get through."

"I didn't mean what the Winchester's have been through, I meant you." Cas downed his glass and no more was said about it that night. They just kept on drinking.

.

"Well, I have to say buddy," Dean had his right arm across Cas' back holding him up as they walked back to the motel, "for not having much practice, you can hold your drink."

Cas laughed, his right arm around Dean's shoulder tightened pulling Dean a little closer, "I still don't understand that expression. Of course I can hold what I drink, until I drink it and then my body holds it until I have to urin-" The end of that word came out in a burp and Dean laughed. "Urinate. I meant to say urinate but then I released gas. I apologise."

"S'alright." They laughed and stumbled until they got to the motel room. "Lean against here just now." Dean tried to get Cas to lean against the wall while he fetched the key but Cas stumbled and Dean kept a hold of him. "Right hold on." Dean tried to figure out how he was going to get it without letting Cas fall flat on his face. "Dammit." He knew there was only one way.

He backed Cas against the wall and Cas' eyes opened when his back bumped against it. "What, what are you doing?" Cas' right arm had been around Dean's shoulder but Dean was now using his right hand to hold Cas up so Cas was just holding onto the back of Deans neck.

"Just trying to get the key and stop you falling over at the same time." Dean's left hand wriggled from behind Cas to his side and snaked around his own back to his pocket. Dean's hand was awkwardly fishing for the key when Cas fell forward trying to talk and Dean had to use his shoulders and hips to pin Cas up since he couldn't free his hand. They both paused, looking at each other. "You alright?" Dean looked at him, Cas just nodded not saying anything. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Cas swallowed, finding it hard to breathe. "The alcohol has uh," he closed his eyes, "gone to my head."

Dean got the key and showed him it. "Got it, come on." He wrapped his left arm around Cas and pulled him off the wall to unlock the door.

.

"Now, come on, Dean." He walked around Dean with one of the knifes he was using this time. "How can I enjoy it if you don't," he put his lips to Dean's ear, "scream?"

"Bite me." He whispered.

Alistair gave out a little chuckle. Even after this long Dean hated everything he did; the way his mouth hardly moved when he spoke in such a calm and low tone that it might have put you to sleep if he wasn't slicing into you and laughing after it while the blood ran to the ground. One week, one year, ten; it didn't matter how long it had been. Dean held out as long as he could before he would scream and cry and his jaw would almost lock up with the pain, his stomach would lurch and he would try not to but he would hurl and retch. Alistair would just watch, smile and talk about the weather, about John and little Sammy. Just when Dean felt like he couldn't take anymore Alistair would say something and it would kick his backside into a second wind.

"...because you know that Sam would never... ever do this for you." He leaned into Dean's face. "He would never even offer to do this, we both know he's not strong enough but he wouldn't even offer." He looked at Dean's cheek and then lifted his hand to place his thumb on it, trailing in the blood Dean could feel all over him. He pulled it back to show Dean. "Blood." He touched it to Dean's nose and Dean closed his eyes. "Yours. Daddy dearest's," Dean could see John in his hospital room, "blood spilled all for Sam." Dean let his head hang as Alistair stepped back. "John saves you but only so you could take care of Sam, you sacrifice yourself for Sam and your mother..." Dean's eyes opened, anger, second-wind in one word. "She died trying to save him. Don't you wonder if he's worth it?"

Dean lifted his head and smiled. "Bite me."

Alistair smiled and wiped his knife.

The static from the cheap TV was almost louder than the voice coming from it "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you." Dean slowly woke up and opened his eyes to the TV. "It's just I don't want you to feel like that, you know?"

"Ugh." Dean closed his eyes as the light hit him. "He's manipulating you!" He shouted at it and turned around. "That Greta is a dumbass." He mumbled to himself.

"What?" Cas turned around to face Dean.

Dean with his eyes still closed mumbled sleepily. "Days of our Lives, hate that programme."

"Oh." Cas answered back, not knowing what else to say since he was barely awake either.

Dean realised and slowly opened his eyes. "Cas?"

"Yeah?" Cas shuffled and pulled the covers further up.

"Why are we in the same bed?"

"You know, I wondered that too." Dean and Cas sat up to look at Sam as he switched the TV off and turned in his seat at the table by the window to look at them properly. "And in Eric's defence, he doesn't know that Nicole is stringing him and Lucas along." He shrugged smugly at Dean.

Dean stuttered to talk and looked at Cas. "Wha- This isn't what it looks like..." Sam raised his eyebrows. "Right?"

Cas looked to Sam. "What does it look like?"

"From the faint whiff of whiskey," Sam stood and Cas sniffed the air, Dean looked to him and then pushed the covers back to stand, "and the fact that you shared a bed - it looks like you two got drunk and," he leaned into Dean smiling, "slept together."

"No, no, no!" Dean smiled waving his hand.

"In that case," they both looked to Cas as he looked down at the cover and back up, "it's exactly what it looks like." He looked to Dean confused when Sam pursed his lips together and looked down at the ground.

"No Cas, that's not what-What?" He looked to Sam who looked at the ceiling quickly and turned around. He looked down. Good morning. "Oh Sam, that doesn't mean anyth-" He groaned in frustration when Sam failed to hide his laughter. "Will you just explain to him please?" He pointed to Cas before he disappeared into the bathroom.

Sam nodded and turned to Cas who spoke first. "Explain what? I know what that is, I think I'm suffering from the same thing." Cas shifted under the cover and Sam held his breath. Nope. He lost it.

He burst out laughing and Dean walked out of the bathroom, "Okay, alright," he shoved Sam around on the spot, "you're not helpful, get out." They turned when they heard fluttering and Cas disappeared. "Great." Dean gestured to Sam. "Look what you did." Dean turned to walk away.

"What did you do?" Dean paused and exhaled. "I'm going." Sam grabbed his jacket and headed for the door before Dean punched him. "I will be in the car."

.

"Cas?" Sam sat on the bed in his motel room. "Cas... Castiel?" Sam sighed when nothing happened. "I'm not Dean but I'd like to talk to you? No?" He looked around. "I could try to be Dean, but after the other night..." He inhaled. "Alright." He lowered his voice. "Cas, get your ass down here right now!"

"Hello, Sam." Cas appeared standing in front of Sam.

Sam jumped closing his eyes. "Jesus Chr-"

"Don't."

Sam exhaled. "Sorry. You frightened the life out of me."

"That is a slight exaggeration but I apologise. Although, you did call me so I did expect you to expect me." Cas gestured with his arms and Sam found the whole thing weird for Cas.

"Yeah, but after the third time I didn't expect you to turn up."

"So, I can go?" Cas walked towards the door.

"No!" Sam stood. "Why would you walk to the..." Cas tilted his head and Sam shook his. "Doesn't matter, I just wanted to say that it was me that Dean was talking to the other day when he said 'get out' not you."

"Oh." Cas lowered his head. "Was that all?"

"Well..." Sam hesitated.

"Sam," Cas pointed up to the ceiling, "war going on," he lowered that hand and pointed again with his other, "everyone fighting," he pointed to himself, "trying to restore order," he gestured to Sam, "wasting time."

Sam scoffed. "Fine, go."

And like that Castiel was gone.