Set somewhere post Season 15 – so if you haven't seen it yet I advise not reading this! Up to you. As always they're not mine, they belong to Dick and NBC I just borrow them to play with.

"Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out". The man that Detective Benson was shouting at had left 10 seconds earlier so he couldn't hear her insult.

Amanda turned to look at corridor where Olivia was standing hands gripping the sill of the viewing window into the interrogation room. The dark haired detective was visibly annoyed and she was just short of punching the closest thing to her when the blonde detective approached.

"Olivia?"
The detective turned to look at her, her eyes dark her face stony.

"What?" she snapped
Amanda held her hands up in resignation

"Sorry, nothing". Amanda turned to leave but she heard a muttered "Sorry" Turning around she saw Olivia with her hands in her hair, her fingers digging into her scalp.

"Ripping out your hair is not going to solve whatever just happened Sarge"

Olivia removed her hands from her hair and placed them back on the sill.

"That guy is guilty as hell but we can't pin a dam thing on him. He's like Teflon"

Amanda was familiar with the case Olivia and Nick were working on and she knew that the guy who was accused of two cases of attempted rape had a watertight alibi and a legal team that was probably paid in gold bars. She also knew that Nick and Olivia were convinced he was guilty as sin.

"He's going to slip up eventually Liv. We'll get him"

"Before he terrorises another woman? Scars her for life?"

Amanda lowered her gaze to the floor. She knew Olivia needed to vent so she was going to let her.

"No" Amanda said quietly. "I wish, but no probably not"

Olivia sighed and turned to lean her back against the wall.

"I'm sorry Rollins. It's just all getting to me lately."

"The lack of sleep probably isn't helping. Teeth?"

Olivia smiled. Even an indirect reference to Noah made her relax perceptibly.

She chuckled "No tummy bug. Sorry for snapping"

"It's ok. My first partner in Atlanta came back 4 months after having her second because she needed the money. She lived on caffeine drinks and chocolate for a year. I felt like I co-parented that baby I heard so much about teething and diaper rash"

"Sounds like you're a bit of an expert"

"I wouldn't say that. But I can give you a good run through of cures for colic, teething aides and diaper rash creams that don't work"
"Sounds pretty much like what my world revolves around right now"

"Are you getting any sleep?"
"Not really. He likes to sleep when I'm awake. And the he seems to have an internal alarm that goes off the minute I start to doze that orders him to start crying until I wake up"

"He's just settling Liv. You'll get there"

Olivia sighed and nodded. "You're right. Sorry again for snapping."

"It's ok. Listen do you want a few hours off?"
Olivia glanced sideways looking at her as if Amanda had lost her mind.

"I don't think he's up to feeding himself just yet – though he does a good job of throwing the food at you – it just never goes in his mouth. Plus I don't think he'd manage the stairs if there was a fire"

Amanda glared at her and said in a sarcasm laden tone "Fine, you enjoy the sleep deprivation Seargent"

Olivia had realised however that just having this conversation was making her tired so she inquired, "How do you propose these few hours off would work?"

"I could take him to mine but I don't have a crib or a steriliser or anything. So I can come to yours tomorrow mid morning and you can go shopping or sleep or shower or do whatever you want to do for a few hours"

Olivia looked at her as if she was offering her an organ; "You're serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. I don't make a habit of messing with sleep deprived first time Mom's"

Olivia's sudden movement to embrace Amada took her off guard. The strength of the hug almost broke her ribs.

Olivia let go but the smile was still plastered on her face.

"Thank You"

Amanda smiled as she squeezed Olivia's arm. "It's no problem. Text me when he wakes in the morning and after he's had his first feed"

"Ok his first morning feed is normally about 3 a.m."
Amanda glared again "If you text me at 3 a.m. I'll never offer again"
"I'll text you around 9?" Olivia said straight away.

Amanda nodded and smiled "I'm leaving soon. Are you heading out?"
"No I've another hour of paperwork to do"

"Ok I'll see you in the morning"
"See you in the morning"

Amanda smiled broadly as she walked towards her desk. She was glad she could do Olivia a favour. Things had been strained between them even after Murphy took over as Captain but they are slowly getting back to normal. She was happy she could help. She was also happy for another reason… a reason she couldn't quite understand.

Grabbing her bag she gave Olivia a small wave as she headed out of the squad room.

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Balancing a blanket on one shoulder a bottle in one hand and Noah on her hip it took Olivia a minute to answer the door. When she finally did Amanda was standing there her blonde hair tied up, wearing black track bottoms and a purple t-shirt, two cups of coffee in a holder in one hand and a teddy bear in the other.

She smiled at Noah first who played shy and nudged his head into Olivia's neck.

Then she smiled at his Mum who was half dressed, in a t-shirt but still with pyjama shorts on, her hair messy, her face tired.

"Long night?"
Olivia nodded as she walked towards the sitting room putting Noah in his playpen. She took the coffee from Amanda and made her way into the kitchen. The little boy started to fuss but Amanda waved the teddy bear in front of him doing funny voices and he settled.

"How in the hell did you do that?"
Amanda glanced up at the brunette who looked completely dumbfounded.

"What?"
"He's been crying since 6 a.m. And a teddy bear stops him in 30 seconds"

Amanda put her hand in her pocket and pulled out an envelope handing it to Olivia.

"What's this?"
"Something better than a teddy bear"
Olivia smiled as she pulled a voucher out of the envelope. It was for a local salon for a massage and a manicure.

"I booked you in for 10 provisionally. I know you can't exactly set your watch by a little person. They said they can change the treatments if you want"

Olivia felt a small swell of emotion in her chest almost as if she was going to cry but she swallowed it down instead taking Amanda's hand and squeezing it, kissing her on the cheek.

"Amanda, this is too much"

"No it's not. I know what it's like to have someone wholly dependent on you Liv. I get it. I spent most of my adult life having someone rely on me. Kim wasn't a baby but at times she came pretty close. So I know how impossible it is to get time to be on your own and relax"

Olivia was still holding the blondes hand and the connection was nice. She was reluctant to let go but she heard Noah begin to fuss again.

Before she could move however Amanda interrupted "I can get him. It's ok. We need to get to know each other if we're going to spend the day together"

"I'll be back in a few hours. I wouldn't leave you here all day"

"I take it he has a stroller?"

Olivia pointed to the closet opposite the kitchen – "in there"

"Right then when you come home we'll go for a stroll, maybe visit the park, stop off at Aunty Amanda's so you can have a rest".

"Aunty Amanda?"
Amanda blushed "Sorry. Vic's lil one Katie used to call me that"
"I like it" Olivia smiled as she walked out of the kitchen. Walking towards the bedroom she shouted back "I'm going to finish getting dressed, maybe take 5 minutes to do it instead of 1.

Amanda laughed as Noah started to gurgle in his playpen – holding his arms up to be picked up. She figured they might as well start their getting to know each other exercise.

"Hey little man"

Noah looked cautiously at the strange woman picking him up. Sitting on the sofa she placed the little boy on her lap holding his hands as he held himself up. He began to whimper as she clapped his hands together and then cry after a minute so it was time to change track. Picking Noah up she brought him forward to lie on her chest, his head resting on her shoulder.

Katie had something about heartbeats she remembered. Vic told her that resting her on her chest helped her settle when she was teething.

The little boy began to settle and his eyes began to flutter shut as she rubbed his back gently.

Olivia emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later to ask if her clothes looked presentable but she was met with a "Ssshh" from Amanda.

Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of her son asleep on the blonde's chest; his head lulled to the right his thumb in his mouth.

She walked over to the two and kissed Noah gently on the forehead careful not to disturb him. She almost leaned up to kiss Amanda and just as quickly pulled away the shock almost causing her to trip over the bouncy chair.

Quietly she waved goodbye and received a smile and small wave in return.

Closing the door gently as she could she walked towards the elevator feeling like she was missing something without the array of equipment she required to bring Noah out. She was missing something else as well but her brain was refusing to go there, couldn't go there. She was too tired to even think about what nearly happened.

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Olivia returned 2 hours later and she could hear the TV on and two very distinct laughs as she walked into the apartment.

Amanda was sitting on Noah's play-mat with him tickling him. He was laughing that beautiful innocent laugh Olivia loved and Amanda was laughing with him.

They looked like mother and son. Olivia shook the thought from her mind as she cleared her throat. Neither Amanda nor Noah had noticed she was back.

"Hi"

"Oh hey, sorry we were having a tickling competition. He was winning"

Olivia laughed as she sat on the nearby armchair.

"Looks like he's having way too much fun to be winning"

"We're sharing equally in the enjoyment. You look relaxed"
"I haven't felt this good in… it's been a long time. I love him don't get me wrong. I'm just so tired"

"Course you are. Babies don't come with a health warning but they should"

Noah had taken a fancy to the strings on Amanda's track bottoms and was playing with them.

"But they're worth it" Noah squealed in joy as Amanda started to blow raspberries on his tummy.

"You seem like a real natural at this"

Amanda lifted her head and looked over at Olivia a sadness clouding her eyes. Olivia was instantly concerned and Amanda looked back towards the small baby who was gurgling at her.

"There are 5 people who know what I'm about to tell you and I don't know why, but since you took this lil' man on I've felt a need to say this. So just bare with me a minute"

Olivia simply sat still afraid if she moved she scared the blonde out of the trance she appeared to be in.

"17 years ago I had one of these – she nodded towards Noah"

Olivia gasped quietly her attention riveted on the other detective who seemed to shrink visibly as she spoke.

"I told you a little white lie, sorry. Kim was like a dependent when I was growing up. But when I was 13 I got in with a bad crowd and I ended up pregnant. I was 14 when he was born. His name was Louis" A small tear escaped but Amanda continued to talk as she focused on Noah.

"I was adamant I was keeping him. My parents, the neighbours, school; they all said I couldn't. He stayed with us for 2 months because there weren't many people out there who wanted a baby born out of wedlock to a teen mother. I nursed him, changed him, bathed him and slept with his bassinet by my bed. But one day when I was out without him, the first time I left the house since he was born, my parents had arranged for a couple, I couldn't tell you where from, I never found out, to come and take him. When I got home…"

The tears were falling freely now and Olivia's heart broke as she looked at the other woman looking at her son with such love knowing what she'd lost.

Kneeling on the floor she gathered the smaller woman into her arms and held her. She couldn't say anything, didn't know what to say. Rather she just held her and hoped it offered some comfort.

Eventually Noah's protests that it was time for a feed caused Olivia to loosen the embrace but she kept her arm around Amanda's shoulder.

"Jesus I'm so sorry Amanda that must have been, well I can't imagine"

"You kind of can Liv, I know about Caleb, Fin told me a while back"

"Yeah but I wasn't a kid, and he wasn't mine. I mean he was in a way. But you gave birth. You must have been to hell and back"
"Not sure I ever came back fully to be honest. It was part of why I left the minute I could"

"I'm not surprised"

Noah interrupted them again this time with a louder cry.

"Ok, ok, I get it bubba, you want feeding"

Amanda smiled as she rubbed his belly soothing some of his tears.

"I'm sorry I need to…"

"Don't be daft. He needs feeding. You want me to sort his bottle?"
"No I'll do it, if you can stay here?" Olivia almost felt like it was too much to ask given the recent revelation but Amanda's simple answer of "of course" made her realise that it wasn't an imposition for Amanda to care for the tiny human she was smiling at.

"I'll be back in 2 minutes"

"We survived 2 hours Liv we're good"
Olivia returned the sad smile Amanda gave her and made her way to the kitchen.

Amanda picked Noah up and put him on her hip turning gently as he lay into her resting his head on her shoulder"
"You truly are a lucky little man Noah"

She was swaying gently to ease the little sobs that escaped now and then.

"I know baby your Mummy will be back soon. Just hang on"

Olivia appeared with a small bowl and a bottle a few minutes later.

"I'm trying to get him to eat some mushy food too, see how far we get"

Amanda handed the squirming mass over to his Mum and she put him in his high chair. The bowl of mushy food didn't look too appetising and Noah was apparently of the same opinion as Olivia tried in vain to get him to take a small taste.

Amanda laughed behind her "I think you're fighting a losing battle"
"I think you're right"

Taking him from his high chair she moved to the armchair and put a towel on her shoulder as she began to feed him his bottle.
"Amanda I'm really sorry. If I'd known I'd never have asked you"
"You didn't ask Liv. I offered remember?"
"But…"
"Liv I offered. I wanted to get to know him. He's a beautiful little boy and he's lucky to have you"
Olivia stood and moved to the couch beside Amanda Noah suckling happily on his bottle.

"Well now he has an Aunty too so I'd say he's doubly as lucky"
Amanda reached out and tickled the small sock clad foot causing him to smile.

"I just hope wherever he is, he was as lucky as this little man"

Olivia's heart broke again as she listened to the sadness in that normally strong confident voice.

"Well he had a really good start in life and really good genes so I'm sure wherever he is he's doing good"

Amanda uttered a quiet "I hope so" and then remembered the objective of the day.

"I'll finish this, you go and get some rest"
"It's fine"
"No come on, hand the little troublemaker over"

Olivia hesitantly handed Noah over and placed the burping cloth on Amanda's shoulder.

"He's unlikely to throw up on you but you just never know"
Amanda gave a small laugh "No we had a chat earlier. He promised not to pee or puke on me and I promised I'd take him to feed the ducks"

"You don't have to Amanda, 2 hours off has done me the world of good"

"You're going to have to stop telling me what to do Detective. I'm ok – scouts honour. Now go and do what you feel like doing and I'm going to grab his coat and shoes and we're heading to Central Park for a stroll then maybe we'll stop for a pizza on the way back – for me not him"

"Mmm pizza"

Amanda spoke to the contented little boy "I think Mummy is hinting at something there Noah. Shall we bring the pizza back?"
"You don't…" Olivia stopped herself mid sentence and instead planned her afternoon. "I'm going to go for a shower now before I tell you what to do again. Then I'm going to sleep for a bit, maybe read the book I started 6 months ago"

"Sounds fantastic. We'll be gone for a few hours. I'll bring the pizza back with me. I'll text you when we're on our way back. Sound ok?"
"Sounds like heaven. Thank You. I owe you"
"You owe me nothing Liv. I'm enjoying helping out. In fact I should have done it sooner. It wasn't as if Nick or Fin was going to offer. Nick has his hands full and Fin doesn't know which end of one of these is up"
"That is very true, but still thank you"

Olivia stood and retrieved his stroller and jacket from the closet along with his diaper bag and grabbed the trainers Fin had bought him from the bedroom.

Making sure he was wrapped up warm Olivia lifted him off Amanda's lap and put him in his stroller.

Amanda grabbed her phone and keys and threw them into the hood of the stroller.

"Don't wait up we'll be a bit"
Olivia smiled as she leaned in to kiss Noah on the head.

"Have fun you two"

"We will"

Making her way to the door Amanda looked over her shoulder and left instructions for Olivia to "have a shower, get some rest" and enjoy her book.

"I will"

Amanda manoeuvred out of apartment and into the hall trying not to think about the image that flashed into her head briefly of Olivia in the shower.

"Let's go bubs before I have very unclean thoughts about your clean Mummy"

Noah laughed as if he knew what Aunty Amanda was saying.

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A/N: This was going to be a one shot but I kind of wanted to build on it so stay with me – hopefully it'll be worth it ;) As always please let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions – they're always welcome.