Boss Key

"Seriously, do none of you guys hear that? Tell me you hear that!"

Poor Cliff. The man's still crazy.

"God dammit, I can't be the only one who hears that!"

Some of the other guys (and girls, but it's a man's world and all that) start chiding him. Or laughing. Or reflecting on how they're probably just a few steps away from insanity themselves. But regardless, I bend down into the chest and hold up the boss key for all to see (heh that rhymes).

"See? There's the music! That little jingle!"

"Just ignore him," Mido says, making his way over to me. "Nice job Link. But do you have to hold up the boss key like that every time you scoop it out of the chest?"

I shrug and pocket it. "It's tradition," I say. "What can I do?"

"Well, maybe not do it…"

"Does no-one hear the music?!"

I sigh. "Come on Cliff," I say, walking over to him. "Remember when we ventured towards that warp storm and you thought it was saying 'hey, listen'?"

"It was saying that!"

"And when you fell off your hover bike and you said it came to life as a blue woman figure, giving you statistics on everything?"

"It told me there was a one-hundred percent chance I would die! How do you think that makes a man feel?"

"Everyone's gotta die sometime Red."

We all look over at Sheik. The guy (he is a guy, right?) has a habit of coming out of the blue all of a sudden to say stuff. Sometimes deep. Sometimes insane.

"What?" Mido asks.

The man shrugs. "I dunno. It just sounded cool."

I nod. I can get behind that. Not that this helps Cliff, who's quivering and going on about the music in his head. But even he gets up as our group starts heading off to confront the boss of this dungeon…which is a fancy term for the ruins of the Beverly Hills estate, but who's complaining?

"Makes you wonder though," says Mido. "If we've got the boss key, and the boss key opens the door, shouldn't that key be on the other side? Y'know, to prevent intruders from opening it and confronting said boss?"

I shrug. "Maybe the boss wants to know we're up to the challenge."

"By finding a chest?" Mido cocks his gun, which has a chainsaw attached to it for the reason of "rule of cool." "It's not really much of a challenge, is it?"

I shrug again. We've reached the door to the boss chamber anyway. So cocking my own gun (with a sword attached, makes me look like a master), I turn around to face the group.

"Right," I say. "Everyone ready?"

Mido nods. Sheik nods. Even Cliff nods, though he's going on about a save point, that we didn't save and if we die we have to start over again.

"Right."

I insert the key. The door opens. Darkness awaits. And I…stand there. And stand there.

"Link?"

Stand there. Stand there.

"Link?" Mido asks. "You okay?"

I shake it off. "Sorry," I say. "Got some lag."

Mido nods. "Right. Happens to the best of us."

"Does no-one hear the boss music?"

He looks back at Cliff. "Or the most insane of us."

"Sure man," I say. "GLHF."

A/N

Is it just me, or has there been a sudden surge in the desire to bring back arena shooters? Epic's making a new Unreal Tornument, Toxikk is touting itself as being old school, and Bluestreak seems to be set to follow. I dunno, and as far as my game preferences go, don't really care either. Still, the fact that Boss Key's logo was designed as homage to the Legend of Zelda series did get me to write this up, so there's that I guess.