Kirby's (?) Interview

"You're a big meanie Wolf! A big meanie!" Ike cried teasingly in front of the cameras. "Oh sorry, didn't you guys there. I was just blinded by anger."

Ike sat down on his usual interviewing chair, angered and annoyed. The audience had not cheered and were rather frightful of their lives. Wolf wasn't behind the main camera as usual, in fact he wasn't anywhere in the studio. Fox had instead taken up the role as cameraman for Wolf for some extra pay. Lucas wasn't there either with Ness taking up his role as an intern who stood behind Fox.

"But enough about my love life, here's Kirby!" Ike said, the corner of his lip twitched.

From a door Kirby had appeared. The audience cheerwd but realized something was off. It was an orange Kirby with a Koopa shell backpack. What was that about? The orange Kirby had walked past the stage and onto the guest seat, playing with it's stubby hands.

There was no clapping, just awkward silence. Then, a clap.

"Go Kirby!" Ness cheered loudly in the quietness of the studio. "You're the greatest!"

Fox clapped with Ness.

"Yeah Kirby!" Fox said. "Come on guys! It's just Kirby wearing a different color palette! Have none of you played Squeak Squad before?"

Clapping. The audience had clapped slowly and quietly, then a loud rush of clapping and cheering had occured. A light pink blush spread on Kirby's face.

"T-thanks guys..." Kirby said. The audience gasped.

"Kirby can talk!?" Ness yelled.

"Well... how else am I supposed to do this interview?" Kirby asked.

"To the audience here, this isn't really Kirby. Just one of Kirby's species, Kooper," Ike explained. "Okay, enough with the intro. Let's start asking away. Prepare yourself!"

"Okay!" Ness said. The audience laughed.

"What games have you played that have, at any point, been represented in Smash Bros?"

"Let's see. Kirby, Mario, Sonic, Pacman and a little of other ones I can't remember."

"As a Kirby fan, were you one who wanted Bandana Waddle Dee to join?"

"Yes. I could see it fit. Four main Kirby characters from RTD and the moveset could be based around his game's moveset. And if there was a stage from RTD along it, it would be perfect and fun."

"He sounds so professional," Ness whispered to Fox.

"Meta Knight returns yet again for Smash 4 but do you remember in Brawl how overpowering he was? They are going to nerf him. So, how do you feel about it? Meta Knight is a very powerful swordsman in Kirby canon so would it make sense to nerf him? Would you rather have the same Meta Knight from Brawl come back instead?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't care for the Brawl version to come back, but its nice to have him get nerfed. Looks like pro Meta Knight players are going to need a different strategy this time around. Also, Meta Knight is just so hard to perfect."

"Concerning Mario, how do you feel about Rosalina and the Kooplings?"

"Ehh, I don't mind them on the roster, but JEEZ LOUISE! We got a lot of Mario characters! But, they still look fun to play as."

"People want Sonic characters to join Smash 4 as DLC. Do you believe this is justified, despite the fact having Sonic, Pac Man, and Mega Man in is already pushing the envelope?"

"Having other Sonic characters would push it too far, but having one or two wouldn't overshadow the other characters. But that's my opinion. It could've been nice to see Tails playable or as Sonic's custom up special, since Megaman does the same with a bird. Also, DLC could cause some arguements between fans...but again, that's just an opinion of mine."

"EarthBound and Wind Waker are both old games that got revamped for the WiiU. Even so, does this make Ness and Toon Link acceptable in Smash 4 when Smash Bros is all about advertising?"

"I feel so sad..." Ness cried on Fox's chest.

"I don't think Smash Bros is an advertisement game, even if it got some people into other Nintendo game series, but Toon Link and Ness are still good characters to be in Smash Bros. Also, it's nice to see classic games remade in HD."

"Alternative costumes are nice. Alternative characters are fun too. So why or why not Dr. Mario be an alternative costume for Mario?"

"The same reason we didn't get Ninten alt," Ness muttered.

"Well at least there isn't Wolf alt or Krystal alt," Fox said.

"The only excuse I can see is the Mario Tornado. No one like using F.L.U.D.D. Unless your that small group who likes F.L.U.D.D. Also, an Old Melee representative comes back!"

"Should the WiiU be restricted of the Ice Climbers because of the 3DS?"

"I don't think that could be a good idea, because that would mean the people who only have the 3DS version wouldn't have the chance to play as them because of the 3DS limited capabilities. But having them back could be fun and everyone would be happy."

"Do you believe that some of the newer Final Smashes like Shulk's and Robin's are unique? Why or why not?"

"This seems tough, but some of them do look unique, even if they use the same concept. While Robin bring Chrom to help with the slashing, Shulk transports a fighter and gets help with his two companions. Maybe they couldn't make a new concept with all of the swordfighters in the game, but the Final Smashes still look as awesome."

"Speaking of which, do you believe that swordsman are taking over the roster?"

"Let's see. We have around like 10 swordsfighters in the game, if you count the Mii Swordfighter. Meaning about 1/5 of the roster have swordsmans. It isn't a lot, but it can be noticable. So, in short, no, I do not believe there are too many swordsmans."

"Let's talk about some assist trophies. How do you feel about trophies like Nightmare, Mr. Resetti, and Nintendogs that are screen wide to everybody?"

"I don't really care as I could kinda ignore the problem and find where I am. But, if it gets too big of a problem, then I start to get a little concerned. I really need to find a Star Rod the next time I see Nightmare."

"So many new stages to chose from! With some like Magicant , Wii Fit Studio, and Dream Land either for the 3DS or the WiiU. Do you think that's fair for both games to have different stages?"

"I think it's fair enough. It's like if you to experience the full Smash Bros experience, try both versions! Also, having different stages will really differenciate the two versions, so both 3DS and Wii U owners will be glad."

"What system will you be getting this for? Which version do you think will be better?"

"I'll be getting the Wii U version for sure. It looks very good and I can't wait to beat everyone with Kirby as always. But the 3DS Version does have its moments."

Ike stood up from his seat.

"Thanks for -"

"Wait!" Kooper yelled.

All bodies stood still, shocked by the sudden yelled. Even Fox and Ness were at a standstill.

"Listen... I've watched all the episodes of Smash View so far. Usually you're happy and constantly making jokes. You do weird things and talk as if you've known the person forever but now it's not the case. What's wrong? Are you upset?"

Ike looked away from Kooper, refusing to look at the cameras.

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry," Ike forced a smile.

"No you aren't," Kooper said. "A funny guy like you... I haven't known you long but I know that Kirby would talk about you in our language. He says that you're the life of the party, that you're the best person to be around when you're depressed! I know Kirby would never lie so what is this? Is this the Ike Kirby truly sees?"

Ike turned his head to face Kooper. He had tears dripping down from his face.

"I-I..." Ike fell to his knees. "I liked somebody, I liked them a lot. The way that person would treat me, the way that person was, I loved it. Then I went and blew it... I went so far... I hurt them... And now that person is gone! He doesn't want to see me anymore! He hates me! I went so far out of line... I want to just die now. Why would I do something so cruel as to bring up a painful past! I have no right to that!" Ike cried.

Kooper walked over to Ike and hugged him with his stubby orange arms.

"Somebody get me a mic..." Kooper said.

Just then, Ness grabbed the nearest mic on stage and handed it over to Kooper.

"No don't!" Fox yelled. He ran over to Ness as quickly as he can and covered his ears.

Kooper swallowed the microphone and became Mic Kirby - er Kooper.

"By now, I could go anywhere at all," Kooper sang. His voice was loud and awful and both Fox and Ness were pushed into a wall by the sound of the singing. Fox had used his body to protect Ness and now groaned in pain, it reminded him of Jigglypuff's Rest in Melee. "But I won't go anywhere anymore." The audience ran away screaming through the emergency exits with the staff members joining them. The sound had paralyzed Fox. "The dark of the night hides the two of us," Ness truggled to get up. He struggled even more to carry Fox. "So you and I are everything." The studio was crumbling down, the pillars were falling, one blocking the exit. Ness muttered something about Villager and Porky and looked somewhere else to escape from. "I don't need anything else." The building was completely wrecked. Ness had used his body as a means to protect Fox.

Ike looked up at the studio. Everybody and everything was gone. He only saw Kooper, Ness, and Fox, the latter two struggling. He looked to Kooper.

"Thanks for that," Ike said. "Too bad I couldn't join."

"Who says you can't?"

"OH GOD NO," Fox cried.

The singing had continued on and on that day Fox faces a grim reminder. The terror of a Kirby's singing, and the shame of being paralyzed. All this and more was on live television. In the living room of the Smash home Kirby had watched with Meta Knight and King Dedede. At a cafe, a certain anthropomorphic wolf and PSIonist blonde witnessed the entire event.

"Shouldn't you apoligize?"

The wolf looked away.

"I can't let you do that Radiant Hero."

The blonde smiled.

"Star Fox sounds better."

...

Inside the Smash home Ike walked in the hallway to get to his room. There, he saw what he wished he had not seen. It was Wolf. Ike didn't want to look at him, doing that makes his heart flutter out of his chest. For a grown man to feel this way was just odd.

Then, something strange happened. Gray furred arms wrapped around his body. He became hot. He felt fur rub against his face. His fingers trembled as they struggled to decide on whether to hug back or not.

"I saw the show."

Ike gasped. He didn't expect Wolf to be watching the show, that was the last thing he had hoped for. Wolf stared Ike in the eyes and grabbed at his chin, forcing Ike to look his way. Closer... Closer... A warm sensation had taken over Ike's body. He felt lips pressed against his for only a second then leave him.

"Don't you dare cry like that ever again." Wolf had let go of Ike and began to walk past him. Ike was at a standstill, he had no idea what to do. "I'm the only one... who can see you cry..."

Wolf walked away.

Ike held his hand over his mouth and heart.

I really am in love with him, Ike thought.

...

AN: This is a parody. Just letting everybody know this is in the parody category