The Irony
Chapter 15
A Dog on a Leash
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh last chapter! Run in terror.
************************************************************************ "Errr I hate him!" Kagome boiled with anger as she trudged through the woods, covered in mud.
"He was just going to sit there and watch if I wasn't pregnant!"
She smacked her hand against the closest tree.OWWW!
(an: tree 1, Kagome butt kiss.)
She clenched her throbbing hand, gritting her teeth. "This is all HIS FAULT!"
The hot spring was in sight and she marched on.
Off went the shirt.
Down went the skirt.
Away went the panties.
And gone was the bra.
Ahhhh nakedness...
She walked up onto a rock over looking the water. As a last though she ditched the shoes and socks, now standing completely naked, yet mud covered. (an: Notice a theme?)
Without preamble Kagome leapt from the rock into the sparkling blue pool.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
She surfaced from the water yelping.
"Not a HOT SPRING! So not a hot spring.!!!!!!"
Mean while~
"So what are you going to do?" Sango asked the pacing Hanyou. They were all back at camp, waiting for Kagome to wash up.
"What do you mean?"
Miroku looked up. "Well she's pregnant, shouldn't you marry?" He said as gently as he could.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARRY? We're already mates, that's good enough!" Inuyasha exploded.
Sango and Miroku exchanged glances.
"Errr."
"Right..."
"No good, dog faced mommy stealer." Shippou mumbled a little ways off from the group. He was sitting on the ground with a stick poking at a puddle.
"Listen hear runt..." Sango stood up blocking Inuyasha from Shippou.
"Look Inuyasha, maybe you should just take a walk, cool off a little, we all have a lot on our minds."
Looking at her for a moment, Inuyasha finally huffed and turned around, walking off into the woods.
It was only a few yards away that he picked up on Kagome's scent. It was as familiar to him as his own scent. A small smile crept onto his face as he detected the slight difference in her smell now that she was pregnant.
He subconsciously began wandering in her direction. His steps quickened as her heard sounds of water splashing. (an: Peep Show in...5..4..3..2..1!)
Skin, oh just so much skin. Kagome was before him, standing on up to her knees in the crystal clear water.
She was shakily reaching down into the water, to splash it up on herself.
"Sssooo Cccocold!" She squeaked as she continued to try and get rid herself of the mud.
Without even thinking about it, Inuyasha stepped out into plain sight. (an: a stupid move in the sequence of many.)
"Stupid wench, what do you think your doing? You're going to get sick if you stay in there!"
Every muscle went taught in Kagome's body. "Inuyasha..." Her voice was deadly. (an: like Naraku's breath.)
Inuyasha ignored the warning signs.
Her twitching mouth.
Her clenched teeth.
The look in her eyes that said distinctly. "I WANT TO KILL YOU!"
He stepped foreword foolishly. (an: fortune does not always favor the brave...)
Kagome lunged out of the water towards her cloths. "Go away!" She yelled.
He didn't listen. For whatever intentions he had to help her they would not be seen through. Kagome made it to her clothes and grabbed at one of her shoes.
"Look Kagome can't we just talk?"
Inuyasha was trying to be level headed, which was surprising...in fact shocking.
TWACK!
"Owww bitch what the hell you'd do that for?!" Inuyasha said while rubbing his head. So much for being level headed.
"Get out of here, or the next shoe is heading south of your head and north of your knees!"
Kagome declared brazenly while grabbing for the other shoe.
Inuyasha had other plans though. Moving faster then Kagome's eyes could follow he slipped behind her, swiping the potentially lethal shoe from her grasp, and managing to slide a hand around her waist pulling her up against his body.
Kagome gasped at the feel of his warm masculine hands on her cool naked flesh. (an: vivid description eh?)
Tingles traced their way through her body radiating from wear his hands touched. For a few scant moments she was utterly in shock
Inuyasha was also in a semi state of non cognitive thinking. Sure he knew he was touching Kagome. And sure he knew that he wanted to get her out of the cold water. But at that moment all he could concentrate on was the feel of her soft skin and the sound of her quickening heartbeat. His head unconsciously tightened on her waist as he heard her breath hitch.
Nothing ever felt so right...except OH GOD! Her elbow landed squarely between his legs. Pain shot up through abdomen, so excruciatingly that his eyes flickered red. The devil woman in his arms sprung forward away from the now groaning man. SMACK! "You pervert!"
Inuyasha never wanted to hurt a woman so bad since Kikyo bound him to a tree. But even she didn't mess with the little soldier. "You better start running bitch!" He ground out.
Kagome stalked off towards he clothes then hurried into the woods; apparently she knew when she had to stop.
Inuyasha growled as he watched he naked form disappear into the tree line. His aching groin still causing him great discomfort, His lowered his lower half into the water, hoping its coldness could help, but unfortunately he hadn't considered that the water was freezing. SHIT!
Great now he had to find his balls.
A ways away in the woods Kagome had met up with Sango and the others.
"Arg I just can't believe him!" Kagome said after Sango had asked her what happened. "He actually grabbed you like that?" Sango asked incredulous.
"Stupid no good dog turd." Shippou mumbled still poking the puddle. (an; hey some things never get old.)
Kagome raised an eyebrow at that comment. "I think Koga needs to stop coming by." She said absently before turning back to Sango. "Anyway I don't really want to be hear when he gets back, so you think you could come with me and we could find a hot spring. I mean I really think I pissed him off when I hit him." Kagome looked sort of sheepish. "Well it wasn't like he didn't have it coming." Sango said.
"What?!" Exclaimed Miroku. "No man deserves that, well except Naraku, and he just barely makes the cut."
Both women whirled on him. "So what you're saying is that it's alright for Inuyasha just to waltz up and grab her when she tells him to leave her alone. (an: did they waltz in feudal Japan?) Do you think that it's okay for him to do what he wants just because he took her as his mate! Do you think its okay!!!!?" Sango was one scccccaaaaaaary chica.
Miroku shrunk back, and Shippou halted his puddle poking. Quickly going over all the possible answers and outcomes of these particularly questions Miroku's very male mind came up with quite and ingenious answer. "err...No."
Some of the anger drained from Sango's face. Ding Ding Ding we have a winner. "Your damn right." She said. "Let's go Kagome." Once the two women were out of sight Miroku looked over to Shippou.
Shippou cracked a grin. "Nice save." (an; Feh men!)
Miroku rubbed his head. "Yeah I guess it was." He laughed offhandedly. Suddenly a huffing sound was coming towards them "That Bitch!"
Without even looking behind him Shippou said. "Hey Inuyasha."
Not to far from the boys, the girls carefully made there way through the woods. To where Sango was sure was hot spring. It didn't take them too long to settle into the warm soothing water.
Minutes passed and nothing could be heard but the contented sighs of two young women. But the outward appearance of supreme relaxation only hid the darker, seedier thoughts of the hot springs occupants.
And in this quiet revere two women plotted. "Sango?"
"Yes Kagome?"
"Where is the necklace?"
"With Miroku."
A glint formed in the young mikos eyes. "Can we trust him?"
Sango smiled, not the friendly open smile one would expect, but the insidious kind that only a women can manage when they are scheming together. (an: this happens more then you men out there know...muahahahahahah!!!!!)
"I think I have him under control." Kagome looked surprised for a moment. "So you and Miroku huh?" Sango sighed. "And you and Inuyasha." Sango stated.
Kagome leaned back against a rock, seeming to come to some sort of humorous thought. She looked over towards Sango with a grin quirking up the side of her mouth. "What were we thinking?"
Back with the boys a sort of comfortable silence had fell as they half dozed in the mid afternoon sun.
The sound heavy clopping of a horse pulling a heavy load broke the peacefulness. The three looked up to see a gray mare pulling along a cart with a single man in it, along with quite a few jugs.
Inuyasha could see him best, with his enhanced vision, and what he saw confounded him. His mouth parted slightly, and his dark brows drew together. Shippou was the second to make out the unusual features of the man coming towards them. His young mind could not really comprehend the oddness so a very confuddled (an: it's a word! Errr) expression shown on his face.
Lastly Miroku made out the distinguishing features of the man. One eyebrow quirked upward. (an: think the beach when you suddenly spy a 60 something man wearing a hot pink spedo)
The man had a large hat, and unusually large hat, with a red headband of some type wrapped around his forehead. Also his clothes were...strange. Not like Kagome's. Weirder.
His shirt was white and billowy. Inuyasha thought decidedly feminine. On top of this first shirt was a brownish vest, of sturdy looking material. His pants wern't so odd, but still unfamiliar.
Now if had just been his clothes, he probably wouldn't have been so interesting. But to top it off his face was different. Like that of the western barbarians.
His skin was bronzed from the sun, and was that make up on his eyes? He had dark hair but it was ...strange. Like it was matted into tendrils, and jewelry was braided in.
As soon as he got close enough the man halted his horse and called out. "Would you fine gents happen to know where the nearest port would be?" He talked with a strange accent and flung one hand carelessly in a flamboyant manor. His eyes were wide and moved ...strangely.
He was drunk...very drunk.
Inuyasha gave a snort of disgust. Ignoring his companion Miroku stepped forward. "I believe the nearest fishing port is a few miles that way." He said pointing to the south. In the short time Miroku had been talking the man had climbed out of the cart and now was standing exceedingly close. He looked down the length of Miroku's arm and arched a brow.
"A few miles you say?" The man was very close and the stench of some unknown alcohol was on his breath. Miroku grimaced.
"There wouldn't happen to be any ships there...say big ships?" Miroku began to bend back wards.
"I uh wouldn't know."
"You don't know if there happens to be a large, vessel of questionable origins that has been unjustly thwarted from its captain who has the grand misfortune of ending up stranded on this rock. Where barely clothed natives threw rocks at said captain and stole...I do say stole his rum. Leaving him to cross half the bloody continent to retrieve it."
"What?"
"The rum man the rum!" The man had flipped his hand out again in the same flamboyant manor.
Miroku was speechless. "Um I don't think I know anything about a ship."
The man took a step back, considered Miroku's words, and shrugged. "Alright then."
He then turned and climbed back onto the cart.
Sighing at the strange encounter Miroku turned back to his companions. Both Shippou and Inuyasha just shrugged.
"Well anyways, what are you going to do about Kagome? You two can't stay mad at each other like this."
"Keh, why should I have to do something, this is her fault."
The odd man began to chuckle to himself. Inuyasha's ear flattened back.
"What the hell are you laughing at?"
"Women are always right." The man leaned down from his wagon. "Well that's what you make them believe."
"You seem to be on to something." Miroku said thoughtfully.
It was an hour later that Inuyasha, Miroku and the strange man sat surrounded by empty jugs. Shippou lay sound asleep under tree, not being much for drinking.
"So I's say o her, the bonfire never git us rescwed. The pretty wench welks over to the oder side..and derhs a ship of the royal fleet!" The man declared.
The guys laughed not moving much from there splayed positions.
"Well how bout dis..Sango, she ggits all hot and stuoff afta she eats dis pink frwt! Then she got pissed at me for being aggravated wt her after she tried to make a baby! Pink frrewt!"
More laughter ensued.
"Maybe you should try Hiccup* not grwping er." Inuyasha said looking pointedly at the monk, his stern face crumpled though and he burst into a fit of laughter, and took another swig of the foul concoction.
"Well maybe he's not doin et rwight." The stranger suggested.
"What d'ya mean?!" Miroku said, sounding as offended as a drunken man could be.
"Well..." The man sat up, and brought his hands up to look at. "Do ya grab her bum.." He made a grabbing motion. "Or do ya caresss it?" He again made the motion.
More laughter.
"So...whata advice da ya half?"
The man looked Inuyasha hazily. "Advice for you..." The man said flinging his hand out to point at Inuyasha. Inuyasha seemed confused by the question and cocked his head to the side for a moment.
"Yah."
"Duck."
"What?"
"When she goes to hit cha ...duck"
Miroku and Inuyasha nodded very seriously. "Good advice."
The strange man stumbled to his feet suddenly. "Well gents I must be off, I haf a ship to commondere."
Miroku and Inuyasha also stumbled to their feet, in an attempt to say good bye to their strange new friend.
The man staggered toward the cart and horse, but decided in stead of climbing into the now lighter cart, he would mount the horse.
He scrambled his way onto the animal barely managing to swing his leg over its side. Though thoroughly pleased with himself for managing to get on, he was faced with a new problem.
"Whed' the bloody head go?"
Looking about confused all he saw was the cart, which was now in front of him.
"Well that ain't right."
Miroku and Inuyasha were in hysterics.
Miroku seemed to think of something suddenly. "Hye whats your name?"
The man looked up from his search of the elusive horse head, and swiped his hat off his head in a grand gesture that almost unseated him. "Captain Jack Sparrow." (an: I refuse to explain how he ended up in this story...just visualize...nice huh...yup now no one can complain about how Jack ended up in the feudal era.)
He declared his name proudly and brought his hand down soundly on the horse's ass for emphasis.
The once dozing animal started, and began to walk foreword at brisk pace. Jack brought two fingers up to his head and gave a sloppy salute to the two people still laughing their asses off at him.
After watching Captain Jack slip out of sight the two remaining fell back against the grass in a drunken stupor.
And that is how the girls found them a half an hour later. (an: if your keeping track that's an hour and a half the girls spent bathing! oHy my they must be pruny)
"What the Hell has been going on here?"
"Sango you've returned!"
"Kagome, Inuyasha was mean to me...and he was drinking!"
"You've been drinking!"
"Oi stop you screeching!"
"Gee you guys are pruny." (an: I told ya!)
"I can't believe you guys, how could you be so irresponsible."
"Plus you were drinking in front of a kid, what's wrong with you guys!"
"Yeah"
"How was your bathe?"
"Lech!"
"You're a Jerk!"
"Stop Yelling!"
"Where did you get this stuff anyway, I can't believe you guys!"
"Captain Jack Sparrow."
"I'm hungry."
"Do I grab or caress?'
"Lech!"
"I'm hungry"
"We can't leave you alone for an afternoon with out you guys doing something stupid."
"Hey at least I'm not always getting knocked out or kidnapped."
"Stop looking at my butt!"
"I'M HUNGRY!"
Everyone stopped to look at Shippou.
"I'm kinda hungry too."
"Yeah I could go for a little something."
"Me too."
"Feh"
After all stomachs were filled an unsteady peace had fallen between the sexes.
Or so one would have thought.
Quietly in the cover of the foliage treachery abounded. Miroku slipped the necklace to Sango, whom had whispered sweetly in his ear until he did. Such things he never heard from a woman's mouth.
Sango then took the necklace to Kagome, who quietly accepted it, all the while planning and scheming, waiting for an opportunity.
Inuyasha could sense something odd in the group. There was tension thick in the air, and also a smell.
Lifting his head he sniffed...what was it?
Seeing her chance Kagome prepared to strike. Inuyasha was standing perfectly still head raised seemingly deep in thought.
Taking the necklace in hand, she launched herself at him.
Just as Kagome was springing toward him Inuyasha realized what the smell was. "Sesshomaru!"
The leaves of the trees moved in unfeeling breeze an in an instant it was over.
Kagome had pounced, and in a blur of silver and black she had the necklace on.
Smugly looking down at her handiwork, Kagome's eyes became the size of saucers.
"Sesshomaru?"
Jumping to her feet Kagome stepped away from the demon lord. The demon lord who now happened to wear a certain binding necklace. "What is this?" Sesshomaru grasped the necklace gingerly.
Kagome still bewildered. "It was meant for Inuyasha."
Inuyasha growled and mumbled something about stupid wenches.
Sesshomaru merely raised one delicate silver eyebrow and gave the necklace a sharp tug.
A normal necklace would have broken, but this one didn't even come close.
Angered by this turn of events Sesshomaru stepped towards Kagome with irritation in his eyes. "Take it off."
Kagome's eyes were still large and she looked like a doe in the headlights of a car.
Inuyasha feeling that his woman was in danger placed himself in between Sesshomaru and his pregnant mate.
Sango went to Kagome pulling her away from the brothers, as Miroku prepared to aid Inuyasha if the need arose.
"SIT!"
Sesshomaru plummeted to the ground, his normally unemotional face contorting into one of shock.
After the spell wore off he rose, with as much dignity that he could, but with a look of murder in his eyes.
He charged Inuyasha, fully intending on going to through him and straight to Kagome.
"Sit! Sit, Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit!"
Kagome panted out of breath.
Inuyasha had never moved but instead a strange little smile had lit his face, the same kind of half crazy smile that he had on when she had accidentally taken his necklace off.
Seeing that Shesshomaru wasn't going to be getting up any time soon, Inuyasha walked over to Kagome, the smile never leaving his face.
"Will you marry me?"
Jaws dropped all around. Miroku, Sango, Kagome and Inuyasha had left to the campsite to discuss what they were going to do about Sesshomaru.
Well that's what they intended to do, but Miroku and Sango ended up making out in the bushes, While Kagome and Inuyasha discussed the seriousness of their relationship. (an: who am I kidding?) They were making out in the bushes too.
Back at camp Shippou woke up from his long nap and was stunned to see Shesshomaru flattened to the ground with Rin merrily braiding his hair.
Rin looked up at Shippou and smiled. "Want to help me braid Sessy's hair?'
Looking around and not seeing his companions anywhere in sight Shippou shrugged and walked over to Rin. Seating himself on Sesshomaru's back beside her he began to braid the feared lord of the western lands hair.
************************************************************************ THE END!
Its over, done, finished! Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And big thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this story!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh last chapter! Run in terror.
************************************************************************ "Errr I hate him!" Kagome boiled with anger as she trudged through the woods, covered in mud.
"He was just going to sit there and watch if I wasn't pregnant!"
She smacked her hand against the closest tree.OWWW!
(an: tree 1, Kagome butt kiss.)
She clenched her throbbing hand, gritting her teeth. "This is all HIS FAULT!"
The hot spring was in sight and she marched on.
Off went the shirt.
Down went the skirt.
Away went the panties.
And gone was the bra.
Ahhhh nakedness...
She walked up onto a rock over looking the water. As a last though she ditched the shoes and socks, now standing completely naked, yet mud covered. (an: Notice a theme?)
Without preamble Kagome leapt from the rock into the sparkling blue pool.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
She surfaced from the water yelping.
"Not a HOT SPRING! So not a hot spring.!!!!!!"
Mean while~
"So what are you going to do?" Sango asked the pacing Hanyou. They were all back at camp, waiting for Kagome to wash up.
"What do you mean?"
Miroku looked up. "Well she's pregnant, shouldn't you marry?" He said as gently as he could.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARRY? We're already mates, that's good enough!" Inuyasha exploded.
Sango and Miroku exchanged glances.
"Errr."
"Right..."
"No good, dog faced mommy stealer." Shippou mumbled a little ways off from the group. He was sitting on the ground with a stick poking at a puddle.
"Listen hear runt..." Sango stood up blocking Inuyasha from Shippou.
"Look Inuyasha, maybe you should just take a walk, cool off a little, we all have a lot on our minds."
Looking at her for a moment, Inuyasha finally huffed and turned around, walking off into the woods.
It was only a few yards away that he picked up on Kagome's scent. It was as familiar to him as his own scent. A small smile crept onto his face as he detected the slight difference in her smell now that she was pregnant.
He subconsciously began wandering in her direction. His steps quickened as her heard sounds of water splashing. (an: Peep Show in...5..4..3..2..1!)
Skin, oh just so much skin. Kagome was before him, standing on up to her knees in the crystal clear water.
She was shakily reaching down into the water, to splash it up on herself.
"Sssooo Cccocold!" She squeaked as she continued to try and get rid herself of the mud.
Without even thinking about it, Inuyasha stepped out into plain sight. (an: a stupid move in the sequence of many.)
"Stupid wench, what do you think your doing? You're going to get sick if you stay in there!"
Every muscle went taught in Kagome's body. "Inuyasha..." Her voice was deadly. (an: like Naraku's breath.)
Inuyasha ignored the warning signs.
Her twitching mouth.
Her clenched teeth.
The look in her eyes that said distinctly. "I WANT TO KILL YOU!"
He stepped foreword foolishly. (an: fortune does not always favor the brave...)
Kagome lunged out of the water towards her cloths. "Go away!" She yelled.
He didn't listen. For whatever intentions he had to help her they would not be seen through. Kagome made it to her clothes and grabbed at one of her shoes.
"Look Kagome can't we just talk?"
Inuyasha was trying to be level headed, which was surprising...in fact shocking.
TWACK!
"Owww bitch what the hell you'd do that for?!" Inuyasha said while rubbing his head. So much for being level headed.
"Get out of here, or the next shoe is heading south of your head and north of your knees!"
Kagome declared brazenly while grabbing for the other shoe.
Inuyasha had other plans though. Moving faster then Kagome's eyes could follow he slipped behind her, swiping the potentially lethal shoe from her grasp, and managing to slide a hand around her waist pulling her up against his body.
Kagome gasped at the feel of his warm masculine hands on her cool naked flesh. (an: vivid description eh?)
Tingles traced their way through her body radiating from wear his hands touched. For a few scant moments she was utterly in shock
Inuyasha was also in a semi state of non cognitive thinking. Sure he knew he was touching Kagome. And sure he knew that he wanted to get her out of the cold water. But at that moment all he could concentrate on was the feel of her soft skin and the sound of her quickening heartbeat. His head unconsciously tightened on her waist as he heard her breath hitch.
Nothing ever felt so right...except OH GOD! Her elbow landed squarely between his legs. Pain shot up through abdomen, so excruciatingly that his eyes flickered red. The devil woman in his arms sprung forward away from the now groaning man. SMACK! "You pervert!"
Inuyasha never wanted to hurt a woman so bad since Kikyo bound him to a tree. But even she didn't mess with the little soldier. "You better start running bitch!" He ground out.
Kagome stalked off towards he clothes then hurried into the woods; apparently she knew when she had to stop.
Inuyasha growled as he watched he naked form disappear into the tree line. His aching groin still causing him great discomfort, His lowered his lower half into the water, hoping its coldness could help, but unfortunately he hadn't considered that the water was freezing. SHIT!
Great now he had to find his balls.
A ways away in the woods Kagome had met up with Sango and the others.
"Arg I just can't believe him!" Kagome said after Sango had asked her what happened. "He actually grabbed you like that?" Sango asked incredulous.
"Stupid no good dog turd." Shippou mumbled still poking the puddle. (an; hey some things never get old.)
Kagome raised an eyebrow at that comment. "I think Koga needs to stop coming by." She said absently before turning back to Sango. "Anyway I don't really want to be hear when he gets back, so you think you could come with me and we could find a hot spring. I mean I really think I pissed him off when I hit him." Kagome looked sort of sheepish. "Well it wasn't like he didn't have it coming." Sango said.
"What?!" Exclaimed Miroku. "No man deserves that, well except Naraku, and he just barely makes the cut."
Both women whirled on him. "So what you're saying is that it's alright for Inuyasha just to waltz up and grab her when she tells him to leave her alone. (an: did they waltz in feudal Japan?) Do you think that it's okay for him to do what he wants just because he took her as his mate! Do you think its okay!!!!?" Sango was one scccccaaaaaaary chica.
Miroku shrunk back, and Shippou halted his puddle poking. Quickly going over all the possible answers and outcomes of these particularly questions Miroku's very male mind came up with quite and ingenious answer. "err...No."
Some of the anger drained from Sango's face. Ding Ding Ding we have a winner. "Your damn right." She said. "Let's go Kagome." Once the two women were out of sight Miroku looked over to Shippou.
Shippou cracked a grin. "Nice save." (an; Feh men!)
Miroku rubbed his head. "Yeah I guess it was." He laughed offhandedly. Suddenly a huffing sound was coming towards them "That Bitch!"
Without even looking behind him Shippou said. "Hey Inuyasha."
Not to far from the boys, the girls carefully made there way through the woods. To where Sango was sure was hot spring. It didn't take them too long to settle into the warm soothing water.
Minutes passed and nothing could be heard but the contented sighs of two young women. But the outward appearance of supreme relaxation only hid the darker, seedier thoughts of the hot springs occupants.
And in this quiet revere two women plotted. "Sango?"
"Yes Kagome?"
"Where is the necklace?"
"With Miroku."
A glint formed in the young mikos eyes. "Can we trust him?"
Sango smiled, not the friendly open smile one would expect, but the insidious kind that only a women can manage when they are scheming together. (an: this happens more then you men out there know...muahahahahahah!!!!!)
"I think I have him under control." Kagome looked surprised for a moment. "So you and Miroku huh?" Sango sighed. "And you and Inuyasha." Sango stated.
Kagome leaned back against a rock, seeming to come to some sort of humorous thought. She looked over towards Sango with a grin quirking up the side of her mouth. "What were we thinking?"
Back with the boys a sort of comfortable silence had fell as they half dozed in the mid afternoon sun.
The sound heavy clopping of a horse pulling a heavy load broke the peacefulness. The three looked up to see a gray mare pulling along a cart with a single man in it, along with quite a few jugs.
Inuyasha could see him best, with his enhanced vision, and what he saw confounded him. His mouth parted slightly, and his dark brows drew together. Shippou was the second to make out the unusual features of the man coming towards them. His young mind could not really comprehend the oddness so a very confuddled (an: it's a word! Errr) expression shown on his face.
Lastly Miroku made out the distinguishing features of the man. One eyebrow quirked upward. (an: think the beach when you suddenly spy a 60 something man wearing a hot pink spedo)
The man had a large hat, and unusually large hat, with a red headband of some type wrapped around his forehead. Also his clothes were...strange. Not like Kagome's. Weirder.
His shirt was white and billowy. Inuyasha thought decidedly feminine. On top of this first shirt was a brownish vest, of sturdy looking material. His pants wern't so odd, but still unfamiliar.
Now if had just been his clothes, he probably wouldn't have been so interesting. But to top it off his face was different. Like that of the western barbarians.
His skin was bronzed from the sun, and was that make up on his eyes? He had dark hair but it was ...strange. Like it was matted into tendrils, and jewelry was braided in.
As soon as he got close enough the man halted his horse and called out. "Would you fine gents happen to know where the nearest port would be?" He talked with a strange accent and flung one hand carelessly in a flamboyant manor. His eyes were wide and moved ...strangely.
He was drunk...very drunk.
Inuyasha gave a snort of disgust. Ignoring his companion Miroku stepped forward. "I believe the nearest fishing port is a few miles that way." He said pointing to the south. In the short time Miroku had been talking the man had climbed out of the cart and now was standing exceedingly close. He looked down the length of Miroku's arm and arched a brow.
"A few miles you say?" The man was very close and the stench of some unknown alcohol was on his breath. Miroku grimaced.
"There wouldn't happen to be any ships there...say big ships?" Miroku began to bend back wards.
"I uh wouldn't know."
"You don't know if there happens to be a large, vessel of questionable origins that has been unjustly thwarted from its captain who has the grand misfortune of ending up stranded on this rock. Where barely clothed natives threw rocks at said captain and stole...I do say stole his rum. Leaving him to cross half the bloody continent to retrieve it."
"What?"
"The rum man the rum!" The man had flipped his hand out again in the same flamboyant manor.
Miroku was speechless. "Um I don't think I know anything about a ship."
The man took a step back, considered Miroku's words, and shrugged. "Alright then."
He then turned and climbed back onto the cart.
Sighing at the strange encounter Miroku turned back to his companions. Both Shippou and Inuyasha just shrugged.
"Well anyways, what are you going to do about Kagome? You two can't stay mad at each other like this."
"Keh, why should I have to do something, this is her fault."
The odd man began to chuckle to himself. Inuyasha's ear flattened back.
"What the hell are you laughing at?"
"Women are always right." The man leaned down from his wagon. "Well that's what you make them believe."
"You seem to be on to something." Miroku said thoughtfully.
It was an hour later that Inuyasha, Miroku and the strange man sat surrounded by empty jugs. Shippou lay sound asleep under tree, not being much for drinking.
"So I's say o her, the bonfire never git us rescwed. The pretty wench welks over to the oder side..and derhs a ship of the royal fleet!" The man declared.
The guys laughed not moving much from there splayed positions.
"Well how bout dis..Sango, she ggits all hot and stuoff afta she eats dis pink frwt! Then she got pissed at me for being aggravated wt her after she tried to make a baby! Pink frrewt!"
More laughter ensued.
"Maybe you should try Hiccup* not grwping er." Inuyasha said looking pointedly at the monk, his stern face crumpled though and he burst into a fit of laughter, and took another swig of the foul concoction.
"Well maybe he's not doin et rwight." The stranger suggested.
"What d'ya mean?!" Miroku said, sounding as offended as a drunken man could be.
"Well..." The man sat up, and brought his hands up to look at. "Do ya grab her bum.." He made a grabbing motion. "Or do ya caresss it?" He again made the motion.
More laughter.
"So...whata advice da ya half?"
The man looked Inuyasha hazily. "Advice for you..." The man said flinging his hand out to point at Inuyasha. Inuyasha seemed confused by the question and cocked his head to the side for a moment.
"Yah."
"Duck."
"What?"
"When she goes to hit cha ...duck"
Miroku and Inuyasha nodded very seriously. "Good advice."
The strange man stumbled to his feet suddenly. "Well gents I must be off, I haf a ship to commondere."
Miroku and Inuyasha also stumbled to their feet, in an attempt to say good bye to their strange new friend.
The man staggered toward the cart and horse, but decided in stead of climbing into the now lighter cart, he would mount the horse.
He scrambled his way onto the animal barely managing to swing his leg over its side. Though thoroughly pleased with himself for managing to get on, he was faced with a new problem.
"Whed' the bloody head go?"
Looking about confused all he saw was the cart, which was now in front of him.
"Well that ain't right."
Miroku and Inuyasha were in hysterics.
Miroku seemed to think of something suddenly. "Hye whats your name?"
The man looked up from his search of the elusive horse head, and swiped his hat off his head in a grand gesture that almost unseated him. "Captain Jack Sparrow." (an: I refuse to explain how he ended up in this story...just visualize...nice huh...yup now no one can complain about how Jack ended up in the feudal era.)
He declared his name proudly and brought his hand down soundly on the horse's ass for emphasis.
The once dozing animal started, and began to walk foreword at brisk pace. Jack brought two fingers up to his head and gave a sloppy salute to the two people still laughing their asses off at him.
After watching Captain Jack slip out of sight the two remaining fell back against the grass in a drunken stupor.
And that is how the girls found them a half an hour later. (an: if your keeping track that's an hour and a half the girls spent bathing! oHy my they must be pruny)
"What the Hell has been going on here?"
"Sango you've returned!"
"Kagome, Inuyasha was mean to me...and he was drinking!"
"You've been drinking!"
"Oi stop you screeching!"
"Gee you guys are pruny." (an: I told ya!)
"I can't believe you guys, how could you be so irresponsible."
"Plus you were drinking in front of a kid, what's wrong with you guys!"
"Yeah"
"How was your bathe?"
"Lech!"
"You're a Jerk!"
"Stop Yelling!"
"Where did you get this stuff anyway, I can't believe you guys!"
"Captain Jack Sparrow."
"I'm hungry."
"Do I grab or caress?'
"Lech!"
"I'm hungry"
"We can't leave you alone for an afternoon with out you guys doing something stupid."
"Hey at least I'm not always getting knocked out or kidnapped."
"Stop looking at my butt!"
"I'M HUNGRY!"
Everyone stopped to look at Shippou.
"I'm kinda hungry too."
"Yeah I could go for a little something."
"Me too."
"Feh"
After all stomachs were filled an unsteady peace had fallen between the sexes.
Or so one would have thought.
Quietly in the cover of the foliage treachery abounded. Miroku slipped the necklace to Sango, whom had whispered sweetly in his ear until he did. Such things he never heard from a woman's mouth.
Sango then took the necklace to Kagome, who quietly accepted it, all the while planning and scheming, waiting for an opportunity.
Inuyasha could sense something odd in the group. There was tension thick in the air, and also a smell.
Lifting his head he sniffed...what was it?
Seeing her chance Kagome prepared to strike. Inuyasha was standing perfectly still head raised seemingly deep in thought.
Taking the necklace in hand, she launched herself at him.
Just as Kagome was springing toward him Inuyasha realized what the smell was. "Sesshomaru!"
The leaves of the trees moved in unfeeling breeze an in an instant it was over.
Kagome had pounced, and in a blur of silver and black she had the necklace on.
Smugly looking down at her handiwork, Kagome's eyes became the size of saucers.
"Sesshomaru?"
Jumping to her feet Kagome stepped away from the demon lord. The demon lord who now happened to wear a certain binding necklace. "What is this?" Sesshomaru grasped the necklace gingerly.
Kagome still bewildered. "It was meant for Inuyasha."
Inuyasha growled and mumbled something about stupid wenches.
Sesshomaru merely raised one delicate silver eyebrow and gave the necklace a sharp tug.
A normal necklace would have broken, but this one didn't even come close.
Angered by this turn of events Sesshomaru stepped towards Kagome with irritation in his eyes. "Take it off."
Kagome's eyes were still large and she looked like a doe in the headlights of a car.
Inuyasha feeling that his woman was in danger placed himself in between Sesshomaru and his pregnant mate.
Sango went to Kagome pulling her away from the brothers, as Miroku prepared to aid Inuyasha if the need arose.
"SIT!"
Sesshomaru plummeted to the ground, his normally unemotional face contorting into one of shock.
After the spell wore off he rose, with as much dignity that he could, but with a look of murder in his eyes.
He charged Inuyasha, fully intending on going to through him and straight to Kagome.
"Sit! Sit, Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit Sit!"
Kagome panted out of breath.
Inuyasha had never moved but instead a strange little smile had lit his face, the same kind of half crazy smile that he had on when she had accidentally taken his necklace off.
Seeing that Shesshomaru wasn't going to be getting up any time soon, Inuyasha walked over to Kagome, the smile never leaving his face.
"Will you marry me?"
Jaws dropped all around. Miroku, Sango, Kagome and Inuyasha had left to the campsite to discuss what they were going to do about Sesshomaru.
Well that's what they intended to do, but Miroku and Sango ended up making out in the bushes, While Kagome and Inuyasha discussed the seriousness of their relationship. (an: who am I kidding?) They were making out in the bushes too.
Back at camp Shippou woke up from his long nap and was stunned to see Shesshomaru flattened to the ground with Rin merrily braiding his hair.
Rin looked up at Shippou and smiled. "Want to help me braid Sessy's hair?'
Looking around and not seeing his companions anywhere in sight Shippou shrugged and walked over to Rin. Seating himself on Sesshomaru's back beside her he began to braid the feared lord of the western lands hair.
************************************************************************ THE END!
Its over, done, finished! Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And big thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this story!