A/N; a Toriko and HP crossover because I can and TheAnimeWriterLover shouldn't be the only writer to do such a crossover because HP is the little black dress of fanfiction and food is love.

Or because Teddy needed love too and the bunny bug bit hard and I wrote this all in one day.

The next chapter of BV will be up once I get rid of various plot-bunnies that have distracted me all year. The notable ones are a Fleur of HP and Marco of OP pairing crossover, a Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto where Hiei is awesome and a reluctant sensei while Kurama is pretty but evil sensei, and a YYH and Fairy Tail crossover where Yukina ends up as a Wizarding Saint while thinking she's in Europe.

Edward Remus "Teddy" Lupin lifted his head and yawned a jaw-cracking yawn that made an audible crack. Upon waking up he did his customary check of all his parts. Finding that they were there and working was bit more than expected since the Gourmet World was prone to changing as often as he was but a bit more violently in a 'nature eat man' sort of way. He was expecting something to have come up and nibble on him, or try to, so he was a bit disappointed that he had scared them away in his sleep. There were benefits to being a metamorphagus; regrowing limbs was stupidly easy.

He probably should have been sleeping next to or on one of the 'safe' routes in this dangerous part of the world but most things knew better than to rouse him and most weather didn't bother him in the least. The benefits of being part-werewolf and metamorphagus; quick-healing, increased resilience with 'cursed' attacks and instant adaptability to the environment combined with the ability to consciously control every cell in his body which had the benefit of allowing him to make lots of antibodies and other substances for various reasons. Poison and pheromones were notable examples.

This inherited combination also effectively rendered him immortal so long as he got an appropriate amount of moonlight. Very much unlike his dear Victoire who while long lived and very beautiful had died relatively 'young' at the age of one hundred fifty four.

Then again when you measure your age in eras and ages, everything was 'young' even before Acacia discovered Gourmet Cells, which when mastered allowed for perpetual youth so long as the caloric intake could be met. To make it short, he was old. Older than dirt, at least in terms of the Gourmet World as that part of the planet was 'young' and chaotic and full of magic. Or as young as some million of years could be; Teddy didn't keep an accurate count of the years anyhow as he found it to be depressing.

Sitting up and stretching, while making a miserable yawn at the inevitability of actually waking up, he discovered that he had been half-buried. A quick sniff confirmed, 'battle wolf, male, three months ago or thereabouts.' In conclusion, the puppy he named Sirius, even if Sirius was around three hundred years old. Actually, he had named most of the battle wolves after various stars and constellations, mostly because he had some human -specifically English- sensibilities and some things were not proper names nor could they properly translate. When he ran out of star names he turned to myths. So mission done; the battle wolf population was higher by a significant amount.

Shaking the dust off his clothing in a manner more wolf than man, Teddy rose to his full height of 6' 2" even if that could change. He just didn't like it to as that made him clumsy. A stretch and another yawn occurred before he stumbled, although he at least caught himself before he was eating dirt. Sure it was the Gourmet World's dirt but that didn't make dirt tasty. Just more likely to kill you.

Dirt did remind him that he probably needed a bath and a change of clothing. He'd have to wait on the bath and laundry but a shower wasn't an issue. There was a nice little waterfall a ways away, where a number of puppies liked to play at. He could probably find something on the way to munch on. He was hungry.

Teddy did find something to munch on. Generally he could get away with normal sized portions for the average civilian due to how efficient his metabolism is and Food Honor. Today however, he decided that he was going to head back to civilization for a bit and see what has changed, so he'd need the strength and energy to get back. After all, he was going to have to deal with Human World food and that wasn't nearly as tasty so some extra nutrients wouldn't be bad in getting. He was probably spoiled on Gourmet World food, much like most of the creatures that developed there after the planet had expanded. Despite what some long dead blonde idiots would have thought it wasn't due his godfather or his luck.

Cracking bones between his teeth for the marrow, he approached the small lake. He'd feel a bit bad about getting all his filth in it but everything in it was practically dedicated to cleaning, bar the occasional predator that tried to eat the unwary bather. Due to that fact he tossed his clothes in first, he discovered that there's wasn't. He might not have found Gourmet World dirt tasty but the fish did. He waded in and used some of grasses to lather up his clothing revealing that his shirt was actually a deep red and the material was nice and soft now that it wasn't stiff and brown from dirt. His trousers got a similar treatment, but the fabric revealed was a rich black. His boots and greaves were slowly revealed to have been made not out of muck but leather, bone and tortoiseshell from an adamantoise. Then he was washing his vambraces revealing them to be of similar make. Sure he could handle most anything barehanded but some of the younger puppies chewed and tough or not he could still feel pain so he wore them on his arms.

After washing himself and all the caked on dirt -he was pretty sure that he shed a full stone's worth of weight off- and gotten his hair clean and adjusted back to bright blue again at his preferred length. Then a quick twist of will and magic and his clothing was dry and wearable. Another quick twist of will and he was dry as well. He slid on his clothing and made to track down where the pack of battle wolves left. Older than the great wolf mother -Matrona- he might be but this was her territory, so telling her that he was leaving and would be back eventually was only polite.

Matrona was as huge and as deadly as he remembered. Teddy wasn't afraid though. He knew her back when she was a puppy. The tail wagging showed that she did too, even if every thump of that gigantic tail caused minor earthquakes. Teddy had to admit that she totally dwarfed him. He was flea sized to her. That still didn't stop him from scratching her ears, or her from whining when he stopped.

"Don't worry, Matrona. I'll be back. It might take me some time. I'm going to track down my descendants and see how they're doing. Probably teach them a few things here and there. Then I'll be back. Give me about ten years, and I'll probably be back before then. Won't be that long at all girl."

To be honest, if he didn't do that, Matrona would follow him off the continent, possibly onto others and get into a fight with one of the Eight 'Kings.' To be truthful, only two of the eight 'kings' were actually male. One of those was actually hermaphroditic.

Then he left, wondering if he should take the routes or forge his own. He wasn't in any hurry.

He did forge his own path and payed respects with favored foods to the various rulers of each continent. Sure he couldn't do the absolute favorite -he didn't like expending the energy to prepare it and he was only being polite in giving food for passing through their territory- but something that they didn't mind and didn't often get was easily doable and it wasn't like they had forgotten him. He had known most of the current kings from when they were wee ones.

Kinda hard not to when you were older than the dirt you stood on.

He looked at what had to be headquarters for one of the hunter organizations. It offended his sense of aesthetics. Barren wasteland told him that the area had been picked clean by humans due to the lack of aura which would signify barrenness due to a King's anger. It had been a while since he acted as an Saiseiya or disguised himself as one.

Thanks to this being the Gourmet World and his own long hoarded knowledge, restoring the flora would be easy. The fauna would be harder but these hunters had proved that they had objected to anything resembling conservation.

Now how to make it flourish without him actively doing any upkeep and keep the hunters at bay? Obviously it would take a while to do so naturally, even in the Gourmet World where new species could appear in a matter of decades -these hunters were thorough at ferreting out every morsel- and a way to prevent a possible repeat.

Magic tingled and danced under his skin at the challenge. A smile complete with monstrously sharp teeth showed threateningly as his blue hair writhed.

Magic could be such a blessing or a curse.

Arriving in Bewitching Food World -the only remaining civilization from 'ancient' times- he had to shift his features to a more acceptable look. Bushy wolf fur-like beard, elongating features and turning his favored blue hair into a gold-brown, and turning his hands into something more paw like. Oh, and gaining a tail too. It was fluffy and had to make him adjust his skeleton and muscles in a number of different ways. Thankfully this was an old disguise in a different color, so clothing wasn't an issue either as it was adjustable with a bit of magic. Nor did he have to worry about being clumsy since he was familiar with this form.

It really was somewhat amusing to him that of all that remained of the magical world he grew up in were the more sentient creatures. Some were more than a little changed -the frog people disturbed him in the beginning but he got over that long ago- but a number of species didn't make it. Including Veela, much to his disappointment and sorrow because his first wife had spoiled him for most women, Veela or not but he was more inclined to have Veela over human women. He wasn't there when that actually happened but he knew what happened to them.

See the whole reason the Gourmet World came into existence was due to witches and wizards being discovered by the rest of the world. Things were tense and were being handled easily on the magical side. After all, any decent witch or wizard knew how to hide from someone not magical. A good portion of a few OWL tests covered that. The issue came from the not magical side of things where people were panicking and all sorts of nutjobs were coming out of the woodwork claiming this and that, doing their best to incite panic. The problem is that a lot of the claims were likely legitimate.

So, negotiations ended up breaking down due to terrorists who claimed the government was mind-controlled. To be cynically honest, they possibly were.

Unfortunately a few wizards hated the idea of being under possible muggle rule -not that it would ever actually occur like that but they didn't think- so they brought down a large meteor from space. This set off a chain of natural disasters for the next fifty years which included but were not limited to volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, landslides and hurricanes but also led to three consecutive years without summer or any decent source of light due to all the ash in the atmosphere. This didn't mean that it was completely cold; lots of pollution occurred as people tried to stay warm and fed. Teddy wasn't quite sure if the pollution or starvation or people committing crimes killed more. He did know that after that the not-magical population could be counted in the millions instead of billions.

Even the magical populations faced problems as even if they claimed they were separate, they did depend on the non-magical population for a number of things; like food production and the occasional muggleborn to roll in the bed sheets with to refresh the bloodlines. For the most part magical society collapsed under the weight of its ignorance and arrogance. A few families did their best to prepare for what would happen, notably Luna's twin boys broke the law and did experimental breeding with recovered cell samples from that meteor. After all, the cell samples had survived space within the rock so they should easily survive the current climate or lack of.

They 'planted' these mutated rocks in various places around the world, leaving the central areas untouched as the rocks were charmed to kickstart life, adaption and environmental genesis. Unfortunately, it seemed to be a failure. It wasn't, it just needed more than a lifetime, even the average wizard's lifetime.

So a lot of magicals put their hopes in the Atlantis project, which had a few other parallel projects like Mount Olympus or Avalon. To be honest, he had wanted to believe in such programs but he and several others of mixed heritage knew exactly what fate would await most of them. So he, his family and a few trusted associates created what they dubbed 'Project Monster.' Add several billion years and the result of that eventually became Bewitching Food World at the cost of the history he alone knew and traditions that wouldn't come to pass, especially after the whole world adopted Acacia's philosophies on food after Acacia stopped the Gourmet War.

Most of the purely wizard projects failed early on, or less than five-thousand years after they began when the Ice Age hit and hit hard to be specific. A few thousand years later and that was the day the world cracked. A massive earthquake struck and lava poured out of volcanoes everywhere and surged through the crack. This was a cycle that repeated numerous times, the location of the crack changing as new continents were formed and the ocean levels plummeted as it filled new 'ocean floor.'

So in effect, less than ten thousand years later the Gourmet World was born. It would take another ten thousand to evolve to a state of 'order' as those initial environmental stones had survived and absorbed energy to create unbelievable effects and even more unbelievable creatures. They had also mutated and gained a sentience after a time even as they did their purpose and surprisingly created more of themselves. Rocks being rocks, they don't quite think things through. They eventually tried to recreate a better humanity. In some ways the succeeded. In other ways they were a complete and utter failure. Teddy decided that the stones had utterly failed and created a trouble that would take ages to remove -literal ages.

The problem was that the Nitros as Acacia named them were born. Teddy had named them trouble and wanted to get rid of them as soon as he possibly could. Teddy killed and ate them when he could. There really was a trick to 'cooking' them as they needed to be prepared in a way that was practically impossible. He even developed a special technique out of it. He might not have been the best student of history but he knew what happened when you have two different groups fighting over resources.

Eventually, humankind struggled and regained civilization and all that it entailed. Sometimes on their own, sometimes under the Nitros and sometimes he helped under various guises. He might have helped in decoding a few things from 'ages long gone' so that civilization could regain what they had long been denied. Unfortunately within a few generations or centuries this meant that mass war and destruction were on the table. To top it off was the curious lack of magic.

Teddy might have been part werewolf but he was still a wizard with viable magic. Any accidental children -and some that weren't so accidental as he had remarried a few times- should have had magic. He might have been a widower but celibate he was not. Magic was largely a dominate series of genes. That's when he truly understood what happened to a few of the more magically inclined species -something that had eluded him for literal ages. It was the food, or more accurately something in the food that could be passed on if a person had magic. In fact, it took some small amount of magic to even bond with Gourmet Cells; otherwise the ravenous little things ate their host. There were remarkably dangerous to anyone who didn't possess a magical's constitution.

See, back before the human world had truly established civilization again, there was a tribe of people who had discovered the ancestors of Bewitching Food World. Naturally the humans were horrified and rallied to arms. There was a war. The humans lost and retreated. This took its toll on the ancestors too and unlike the humans they reproduced far slower. They traveled to the Gourmet World and established Bewitching Food World. This also meant they were exposed to a far greater amount of Gourmet Cells than they were in the Human World, which had a tendency to 'stick' in those with magic, which as they were all magical creatures ages ago, they did. Gourmet Cells also require a greater caloric intake and mental discipline unless you want the hunger to control you. Veela were never that great at mental discipline, as they were born temperamental. So the Gourmet Cells killed the Veela, and several other magical species. Werewolves and vampires had long since died out for various reasons which mostly boiled down to not enough people to change.

So while any gourmet hunter looked at Bewitching Food World and was amazed, all Teddy felt was pity. The civilization was still around but it was in decline, not flourishing. The signs were small but they were obvious.

Teddy had always wandered around the world whenever possible, his metamorphagus allowing him to blend almost seamlessly with any native population. He had seen all the signs far too many times.

Bewitching Food World hadn't changed that much for its decline. A meeting with the Hermit allowed him to catch up on what he had missed out on the last century and change years.

"Fenris, you seem well. Welcome back."

"It's good to be back. It's been a century, and seventeen years or thereabouts right?"

"Ah, that's incorrect. It's been a century and twenty one years."

"Close enough." Teddy made a mental note to keep better track of time. He knew he would until the numbers became depressing.

"I suppose for one that hasn't aged all that much, a few years isn't that much. Quite a bit has happened though."

"Oh?"

"Well, let's see. There's some changes in the lists of top chefs, there's some political changes in a couple of human countries but I don't remember their names... The Bishokukai are still up to no good. Ichiryu took in four brats and raised them to be fine Bishokuya. They're pretty active in human world. I suppose not much has changed."

"I suppose he's probably prepping them to explore in the Gourmet World later."

"Well, probably. I'll still be around for a few more years."

"Yeah, the atmosphere isn't as good as it once was."

It went unsaid that it was the Nitros' fault. Teddy knew there was a way to prepare AIR, but while he had Food Luck and a fine intuition born from experience, he didn't have a proper knife for it. Nor would it be anywhere close to ripe for a few years more.

"Are you going to Human World soon?"

"Yeah. There are things I need to do in Human World. They've probably updated a lot of things since I was last in there. Visit a few people, track some more down. Same thing I usually do."

"You going to stay the night?"

"Hmm, the week. I suppose I'll need to pay for it so I brought some ingredients back. A couple I haven't even seen before as I took the backways here. So point me to a chef or do I have to find one?"

"Aren't you an accomplished chef yourself Fenris?"

"But I've been living on my own cooking for decades." He whined.

"Tengu Buranchi. He's a bit of a troublemaker."

"Tengu Buranchi huh? I'll give him a try. Is he in?"

"Oh, he should be Fenris."

Tengu Buranchi was at first glance a troublemaker. Experience told him that it was more of the bored genius acting out. He had all the signs and the temperament for it.

Then the red-skinned man broke into the room and marveled over the ingredients. Teddy had bottles of tears, blood, other secretions like venoms and oils, spring water, rain water and a large bottle of glacial melt after it had run through a field of fruiting flowers; it was an excellent drink. He had containers of meat samples from numerous beasts, fruit of all kinds from thick skinned to berries to some spiny poisonous blueberries to roots, spices, leafy green vegetables and many other delightful morsels -bones were always yummy- from the backwoods of Gourmet World.

The chef and clearly well trained knight straightened out clearly done being awed by the splendor.

"The rest is out back."

The chef didn't even bother to acknowledge him so much as he blew past him.

"He's very excitable."

"That much is obvious by the excited cheers that I hear."

"Hey, Chief, who's that with you?"

"This is Wolfe Fenris. He's been exploring, researching and cataloging numerous things about the Gourmet World."

"Can't say I've heard much about him."

"I'm usually gone for decades at a time so I need to get to the IGO and report to Ichiryu about my success for that 100-year mission. However it was successful so that report can wait."

"So that's what all the ingredients are for? You'd be better off taking the Three Way Road." The young chef pointed out.

"There's better food this way and buying a meal is something I've look forward to doing since it's been a century and change since I've done it. So chef, out of my ingredients make me something that'll surprise me. Something I haven't had before. You've been recommended to me after all."

Upon finishing the meal Teddy had to admit that the brat was good. World-class good. Honoring the skill and food involved, he had to admit that it really was a feast.

"Won the cooking festival yet brat?" Teddy asked as he helped wash up after.

"Yer talking to the current champ."

"So you beat that old bag of bones Setsuno. Good, she needed it. She's not only old but she acts it." Teddy in his guise of Wolfe Fenris pointed out. He found that at fifty he wasn't enjoying life as much as he used to and shed the habit of acting his age much to the delight of his then wife; she liked his more childish antics in the bedroom more than in public but any after her just didn't know better. Old after all, didn't mean you had to act it, especially if you were faking being that old in the first place. Probably one of the reasons that he rotated disguises since they did get old with enough time. Well, he got tired of wearing them. In other words, Teddy was firmly in the camp that believed that growing old was optional.

"I beat Cooking King Zaus too!"

"If he's won in the last hundred or so years, then I don't know him."

"What the hell have you been doing out there for so long that you don't even know that?!"

"Working, playing, sleeping, cooking, eating."

"That explains absolutely NOTHING!" The winning chef was sparking in irritation.

"I thought it explained everything but not in detail."

"Yer incredibly frustrating, ya know that?"

"Do you really want to know that badly?"

"Ya really think I don't?"

"A test then." Teddy replied. He walked to his pack and obtained his knife belt. In terms of power a knife could be more powerful than a wand but it wasn't as versatile. So he had made a set of knives from over the years that he loved dearly. He removed one, sheath and all from his belt. He removed the knife, showing the sharp dazzling edge of his revitalizing knife, and then rolled out a small thin vial, before reseathing his revitalizing knife. He held the vial up. "This is a sample of blood. Neutralize the poison and I'll let you know exactly what I've been up to."

Teddy had to admit that seeing the look of horror and amazement and sheer want from seeing a little bit of blood was as funny as always.

"Tha-that's-" The tengu stuttered.

"Practically pure poison. However, when neutralized correctly it becomes my drink. However there's only two ways to do it and one is currently impossible as that ingredient has always been obscenely rare and is currently reviving."

"You're on, Wolfe."

Teddy totally mooched off of the tengu for the week. Well, as much as he could mooch off an excited chef who was happy to trade ingredients and stories and catch him up in exchange for the same. Teddy was pretty sure he benefited more from the arrangement.

He had a roof over his head, food in his belly and a kitchen to share. Teddy's long years of experience taught him how to cook in a variety of styles that he was happy to share with the much younger chef.

Teddy learned that a lot of chefs these days bought Melk-made knives, which wasn't that surprising for Teddy. The quality of the work was as most knife-makers weren't strong enough to work with or capture the ingredients needed for their work.

Tengu Buranchi on the other hand learned a lot of history -the scruffy vagabond knew a lot- and stories about the various ingredients and beasts in other parts of the Gourmet World. The amount of history the wanderer knew as surprising in its depth and scope but there were areas where he knew little and most of it third-had.

He also discovered that Wolfe Fenris was a changeling, which was awe-inspiring in a terror-inducing and weren't-they-extinct spliced with the knowledge that there was only one of them seen at a time and all that implicated.

The Human World might call Acacia a saint, and god-like but to Tengu Buranchi meeting the founder of Bewitching Food World was akin to that and more.

The Tengu just wasn't sure if he should be blessed or cursed to know that the hidden living legend was sleeping on his couch, eating his food and sharing his kitchen until the week was up. Or if he should point out that said changeling that he changed hair colors on his tail as he was dreaming.

A/N; I have no idea where this was supposed to go from here. The muse ran away and then was caught and didn't make much sense after that. Other than Toriko and Teddy somehow being related because Toriko was born with black hair that turned blue as was told in one of the latest manga releases. There was something about meeting Jiro, the 4 kings and Komatsu, that vial of venom and something about the Queen Mother Snake and Harry but it's all muddled. :'(

I'll figure it out later but this isn't finished yet. It's pre-timeskip Toriko though, and is pre-canon I think.

Yeah, the next chapter of BV should be out soon, but don't take my word for it. Yukina is adorably distracting and manipulative which is not the common depiction of Yukina at all.