That ass. That sweet ass. I watch the majestic man sitting in front of me in health class. He wears a v neck short sleeved shirt accentuating his chest and arm muscles. I notice the the converse sneakers and horn-rimmed glasses he sports. Usually, he wears contacts yet today he decided not to. The naturally tan skin that turns into a light sweet caramel during the winter time. The slick jet black hair, the unusually long nose, the kind dark chocolate eyes always make my heart swoon. But most of all, I notice his ass. No matter what pants he wears, his ass looks amazing.

Whether it's his football uniform wrapped tightly around his whole body, his leg muscles when he swims the butterfly every swim meet, or maybe I get turned on every time he runs around during the men's lacrosse meets. Mr. Handsome is over 6 feet tall and muscular all over. But it's not only his looks that make your heart swoon. He has the most bashful personality ever, the man avoids talking. He always gives that awkward crooked smile and he always attempts to avoid attention. But when he does speak, oh god I get the worst boner ever. His voice is a nice blend of soprano and alto. He sounds so shy and awkward when he speaks. Overly polite and easily scared, he's the man for me. I don't know all these things because I'm some creepy stalker. Well I sort of am, but that's besides the point. His name is Bertholdt and we have been best friends for as long as I can remember.

I first met him when we were young. My father always worked overseas, giving my mother plenty of time to do what she wanted. She made many friends naturally with her blue eyes and blonde hair. Like mother like son in this case, I take after her in nearly every aspect. I only see my father two times a year, he's too busy doing what he wants. I doubt he even remembers my birthday at times. Anyway, my mother being the out going woman she is, she was head of a book club with several other people. There, she made quick friends with Mrs. Fubar, Bertholdt's mother and a widower. Mrs. Fubar visited a lot because of my mom's constant demands for a social life besides being stuck with me. Of course, Mrs. Fubar decided to bring along her son one day. My mother thought it was the best idea, naturally.

The minute I first gazed my eyes upon Bertholdt, I fell madly in love with him. I know, it's extremely cliche and I was never a big supporter of 'love at first sight.' So let me tell you how it feels when you fall in love with someone at first sight. They walk in the door, and their presence is overwhelming. Kind of like the bright sun on a warm summer day, but it's more of a feeling or vibe. It doesn't matter if they're next to you or on the opposite side of the room. The fact is, you can't seem to separate yourself from them. It's more than the typical horny attraction when you see a strange walk past you on the street. You're attracted to them like you can't believe, in an emotional sense as well. This feeling of love and protection overwhelms you. Your mind starts thinking crazy things. All of a sudden you feel the urge to do anything for this person. You'd jump out of window if they told you to. You notice their every move and that person becomes the first priority in your life. Once you realize this, the power of passion nearly knocks you to your knees. You're suddenly gasping, not knowing what the hell just happened to you. If you're me, your head spins and your thoughts collide like unstable electrons. Then the person notices you staring like some creeper and they tentatively beckon you by your name. Once they say your name, you know it's over. Because you feel the sweet glory and tenderness as that beautiful voice from the angel standing before you dares utter your name.

While this was all going on, my mother tugged on my arm asking if I was okay. I smiled eagerly and grabbed Bertholdt's arm in a moment of false bravado. I was always like that, acting all masculine and outgoing. Mrs. Fubar smiled and gracefully ran her fingers through Bertholdt's hair. I looked up and stared at the beautiful woman who resembled Bertholdt so much. Leaving our mothers alone to discuss things like work and Oprah, I remember dragging Bertholdt upstairs to my room. I did most of the talking, excitement ebbing through my entire little body.

Bertholdt enjoyed to just sit in silence and listen, his quietness making me adore him even more. We talked about everything, from cars to comic books to school work. From then on, Bertholdt visited often. I learned that Bertholdt tended to be extremely passive, his awkward tallness making him a target for bullies.

So we grew up through school together, sticking by each other's side no matter what. Bertholdt didn't always agree with my ideas, but he always remained loyal. Dodging bullies, me bull shitting on school work, sports, and the daily drama of being teenagers.

It's senior year now, and Bertholdt and I are at the top of our game. I tend to get average grades, but I excel in sports. Bertholdt, well he's good at everything. He even paints when he's in the mood. That's us, we were one unit always working together. I was the talker and Bertholdt was the puncher. The girls took a liking to us as we started to overcome that awkward puberty phase. Poor Bertholdt used to struggle with acne whereas it seemed I turned into a bull over night.

So here we are, in the midst of high school. Believe it or not, we stuck together even closer than ever. We applied to the same colleges, but we were doomed to separate because of Bertholdt's SAT scores and my football scholarship.

Bertholdt always gave everyone the impression he needed me because of his lack of a father figure. But in reality, I need him more than he or anyone knows. He's the center of my being, the person I go to when I'm upset, the person who listens, the person whose very being lights up my day. Every time I see him, the world melts away. And suddenly, nothing matters anymore. Because he's there. Because every time I'm near him, the pain just ebbs away. He reminds me why life is important. Why it's important to keep going. I wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for him. In a few months, I'll lose him to the vast life of the unknown. I'll lose him, my sweet Bertholdt to a destiny without me.

I never knew how Bertholdt felt about me. Well he views me as his best friend, but I doubt he'll ever love me the way I love him. I remember sophomore year when he was insanely infatuated with Annie Leonhardt. It hurt, knowing the strong possibility that Bertholdt is heterosexual. But I supported him nonetheless, and by support, I mean by teasing him constantly. Annie never returned his affections, she always looked at him like he was some annoying mosquito. It irritated me knowing that the one person my sweet Bertholdt cared about, couldn't give a shit. I never told Bertholdt how I felt, I never wanted to burden him. Being his friend was always good enough for him. So I forced myself to believe it was good enough for me.

"Mr. Braun. Mr. Braun. Reiner Braun!"

My ears perk up as I lift my head from the desk. The teacher is standing there staring down at me, irritation written all over her face. "I would appreciate it very much if you pay more attention in class, Mr. Braun. I will not hesitate to call your mother if you continue sleeping. Just because you're a senior doesn't mean it is time to slack off." The teacher launches into a long lecture about the importance of avoiding 'senioritis' wasting class time and everyone's patience. From the corner of my eye, I notice Eren giving me a thumbs up whereas Ymir scowls in irritation. I shrug unhelpfully, honestly not giving a shit. I don't know what's worse, the fact it's earlier October, or the fact Bertholdt isn't in my class.

My thoughts drift towards the sweet man. I imagine what he's doing, sitting there in AP Chemistry taking a million notes. I chuckle at the thought of him sweating profusely doing a lab procedure. What I don't realize, is that I'm laughing out loud during the teacher's lecture. She scowls, already whipping out the detention pad. Well, this sucks. I look around and notice other kids sitting there asleep. Why couldn't she pick on them instead?

The bell rings, and I dart out of the class room before she even has time to hand me a detention slip. I know where I'm heading. I head straight for Bertholdt's locker. We have second block together, physical ed. I stand there impatiently, obvious excitement on my face. From the horizon, Bertholdt walks up, his face in deep thought.

"H'mm..these equations just don't match up.."

"Hey Berty!" I wrap my arm around his head, messing with his hair using my other arm.

"R-Reiner that hurts my back! And you know I don't like nicknames.."

"You're thinking too hard, one day you head's going to explode."

"Well..you should take your school work more seriously..I can't tutor you constantly.."

"You visit all the time anyways. Seriously, my mom doesn't mind. She loves you like you're another son."

Bertholdt stares at the ground in a vain attempt to not look at me in the eye. He looks up, and I notice his eyes are a beautiful light topaz color today. "What?" He asks, obviously confused by my staring.

"Your eyes are beautiful..."

"W-what!?"

"Oh er I mean..what are you, a vampire from Twilight or something?"

We both stare and burst out laughing over the corny vampire saga.

"We should go, we can't be late."

Eagerness takes over, I realize I get to sneak a peek at Bertholdt changing into his gym clothes. I'm so pathetic at times, but you can't let go of these opportunities. Ymir walks up to us, an amused look on her face. "You go ahead, giraffe. I have to talk to blondie about something." Her authoritative tone works wonders on Bertholdt, he immediately walks off.

"What was that for!?"

"Fess up already. You're pissing me off already."

"The hell you're talking about?" I mutter.

"The obvious fact you're in love with Melman the giraffe. Just fess up, tell him how you feel."

"My feelings are none of your business. You have a girlfriend, mind your damn business."

"It's my damn business since everyone in the group besides Bertholdt can tell how you feel about him."

"In case you haven't noticed, Bertholdt crushed on Annie. I doubt he wants a romantic relationship with me."

"Maybe he's bisexual..or pansexual..you never know. There's many possibilities. Look at Jean and Marco." Ymir raises her eyebrow, a smug look on her face.

I run my finger through my hair remembering Jean and Marco. Those two idiots were obvious homo for each other. Marco had his eye on Jean for sometime but was always too damn polite to say anything. Jean felt the same way, but he felt too compelled to play the heterosexual act in order to avoid bullying. Eventually, the two of them confessed their feelings for each other. It seemed the whole school expected it, there wasn't much shock when they arrived at Junior Prom together.

I shake my head at Jean's antics. "That's..different..they both have mutual feelings for each other..."

"How is it different? Every minute of the day, you and giraffe-"

"His name is Bertholdt."

"What ever. You're always together. Think about it because soon, you'll both be going to different colleges. You don't have much time."

"Maybe I want him to be happy. Even if it's without me. I don't want to burden him with my feelings."

Ymir is already walking away from me. "Just think about it."

I arrive at gym and notice to my relief, a substitute standing there. I guess today isn't so bad after all. I immediately sit right next to Bertholdt, who is already sitting there studying.

"What took you so long?" He whispers urgently, worry apparent in his eyes.

I shake my head. "Ymir's just having a bad day."

Bertholdt can tell I'm lying, but he nods and continues doing his AP Chem homework.

"Come on Bert. Let's do something fun."

"We can't do anything else but stay on the bleachers. Reiner, I need to study. I have a test tomorrow."

"Can I watch?"

He sighs and shakes his head. But I notice a small smile on his face. Every time he smiles, a warm happy feeling goes through my whole body. I sit there and watch him work. He scrunches his face when he's confused, a light blush upon his face. Then he chews his pencil and his eye color darkens. The usual running the hand through the hair starts before he sighs and closes the book.

"I can't concentrate when you stare at me..."

"But you said I could watch!"

"For a big man, you can be childish." His voice sounds scolding, but we both know he's only teasing me.

"Can I at least help?"

Bertholdt stares. "Reiner..you're not in my class.." His nice way of saying I'm a complete dumbass.

I look around the gymnasium and notice Connie and Sasha from another gym class playing volleyball. Connie gets smacked in the face and I make sure to stand up and laugh so loud everyone hears. It works, Connie gives me the finger while he sheepishly smiles at Sasha. Sasha laughs at him, of course.

"Why don't you join them.."

I look up and see Bertholdt, gently encouraging me. "What about you?"

Bertholdt stares at me crooked until I realize my stupidity. That's what A.D.D. does to you. I take medication, and it's improved greatly. But that doesn't change the fact I have the attention span of a fucking goldfish. He's a saint, always so patient towards me. I really don't deserve someone like him.

"Fine, fine I'll leave you alone. But I will be back." I wink my eye and run off to taunt Connie and high five Sasha. I look over and see Bertholdt already back to writing. He smiles in pleasant relief as he starts flipping through some pages. My staring causes Bertholdt to look at me. He blushes and starts to sweat. This happens every time I stare. Sometimes, I stare on purpose just so I can see that reaction. I should probably stop being so sadistic towards him. I've been doing it more often. Sure we're Facebook friends and we text often, but technology doesn't matter when it comes to seeing someone in person. Especially when that someone is the love of your life. I need to remember that face, have it permanently stuck in my memory when I go to college.

"You don't have much time.." Ymir's voice echoes through my head constantly as I walk towards Connie and Sasha. Every time I score, I notice Bertholdt looking at me from across the gym. How the hell am I going to survive college without him. I force myself to think of something else before the fear of Bertholdt falling for someone else in college enters my mind.

"You're full of shit, Reiner!"

"You're just pissed off that you kept getting smacked in the face, avatar."

Connie's face lit up and he stared annoyed. Connie hates when he's called avatar. "No, I'm being targeted, I swear!"

"It is called volleyball you know..right Bertholdt?"

Bertholdt looks up from a book he's reading. I snatch the book he's reading. "Bertholdt...you need to take a break."

"I'm getting to a good part of the novel.."

"You're avoiding the lunch line is what you're doing."

He blushes and looks away. He does this whenever I'm right, which is quite often. Ymir looks at us and makes a face towards me. 'Hurry up.' She mouths. Before I have time time to say something, Ymir's girlfriend walks up. Christa, her real name is Historia, walks up and kisses Ymir unashamed. I look away, jealous of their open relationship. But then I notice Jean and Marco holding hands from under the table. Life can really suck sometimes.

"Reiner, are you okay?"

"What?"

"You have that pissed off look on your face again." Bertholdt replies, concern in his eyes.

I shake my head and take his hand. "Everything is fine..I'm just thinking about things."

"Like what?"

I'm thinking about how amazing and sexy you are. But I'm also lamenting about the fact I will never be able to have you. Those thoughts echoe in my head. Of course I would never say that. I run my fingers through my hair and laugh. "Bertholdt, let me teach you how to pick up women. They always like the tall handsome ones."

"E-eh!? Reiner!"

My false happiness works like always, Bertholdt lights up like a Christmas tree and everyone erupts into laughter.

"It's okay Bertholdt. Someday, Reiner will stop being an ass and learn to wise up." Ymir chimes in, giving me a smirk.

For the first time in ten minutes, Marco looks away from Jean and smiles blushing. "I am curious, do you like anyone, Bertholdt?"

I think that did it. Bertholdt's face is so red he's speechless. He starts sputtering and attempting to speak coherently. I sit and watch the scene before me as everyone snickers and Marco apologizes repeatedly. But one thing's clear, Bertholdt likes someone. But who? Is it still Annie?

"Calm down, Bert. We're just trying to figure out who the hot babe is." My well thought out sentence of the day. Reiner, you're pathetic.

"Babe-b-babe..." He literally looks like he's about to pass out. Connie clumsily hands Bertholdt a water bottle before turning to Sasha.

Sasha giggles the entire time. "Hey, you want to make out?" She winks at Connie and walks off suddenly, stealing his bag of potato chips.

Connie playfully calls out at her. "I hate when you steal my food!" He runs after, a little too eager.

"He's just happy he's getting some." Eren mutters before turning to ask Armin a question.

Armin is sighing, ignoring everyone as he helps tutor Eren for the millionth time.

"Where's Mikasa?" Christa's question made everyone look up in curiosity. We all realize for the first time that Mikasa isn't sitting with us. We all turn to Eren.

"Oh she's just training for practice after school." Eren lazily answers before stealing Connie's sand which. "Damn I'm hungry.." He mutters between bites.

I look over at my tan friend. Bertholdt is sitting there with his face in his hands, elbows on the table, and covered in sweat. I unconsciously lick my lips imagining the taste of his sweat against my tongue before I stop myself. You idiot. This is your friend here and all you think about is fucking him. What the hell? No you're really pathetic. You've liked him for how long and you can't even tell him. Well why would you? Even if Bertholdt liked men, he wouldn't like you.

The usual negative thoughts cloud my judgement before I wave them away. Connie and Sasha return, but it's obvious they were chewing each other's faces off. Sasha's hair is all askew whereas Connie has bite marks all over his face. Not to mention the obvious kiss marks on his neck.

The bell rings and Eren is the first to leave before anyone else. We all walk off snickering as Connie curses about sand which's mysterious disappearance. I can't say the rest of my day is that interesting besides me daydreaming my way to the final bell.

That night, I lay in bed and close my eyes, trying to sleep.

"R-Reiner stop!"

"But you said you wanted me to cum."

"Ohh I do. R-Reiner that feels so good. Please...more.."

I reach for Bertholdt's cock and start sucking on it. His moans evaporate into the air, one after another. I keep at it, enjoying the pleasure I'm giving him.

"Get on your stomach."

Bertholdt obeys and I get on top. "You know, Bertholdt. I'm all about shoving things up the ass. Let's see what fits in yours..."

BEEP! BEEP!

My eyes open and I stare at the alarm clock. "W-what..." Dream Bertholdt's moans echo in my ears as I wipe the sweat off my face.

"REINER! TIME FOR BREAKFAST! YOU WANT TO BE LATE TO SCHOOL OR NOT!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DRIVING BERTHOLDT TO SCHOOL!" My mom is standing at the bottom of the stairs, shouting at the top of her lungs.

I run out of my room, excitement about seeing Bertholdt quickly replacing my fatigue.

"Reiner, why are you covered in sweat!?"

My face lights up and I run past her to eat some breakfast. I guess I can't complain, at least in my dreams I can have Bertholdt. I hurry quickly to my car, it's my turn to pick up Bertholdt for school today.

I park in front of his house, letting the rock station on my radio blast Papa Roach. I'm always waiting and I always will. Waiting for the romance that will never happen. Bertholdt runs down his front steps, his hair all over the place. As he approaches, I think to myself.

Life isn't so bad after all.