When you rush to the hospital due to an emergency, everything flies by so quickly. You know everything that happens, but at the same time you don't. During an emergency, several things happen. Confusion, surprise, fear, anger, more confusion, trepidation, and still more confusion. All of these emotions run through you at once as you're still in a state of shock trying to grasp what just happened. And so, the cycle repeats itself continuously without stopping even when you've finally decided to pick a plan of action.

You may seem calm and collected on the outside, as you state the things that need to be done. Everyone does their best to please you because to them, you're a ticking time bomb. Perhaps you're hysterical: crying, cursing, and putting up a storm. You can't seem to calm down at all. You're breathing heavily and you run around screaming at everyone who's just trying to help you. Then there's the alternative, being emotionally shut down. You shut down completely and to your loved ones, you look like the fire that lights your soul has died from within you. You talk, you act, you hug, you think, but yet you're not here. Your voice probably sounds monotone or maybe you're so stunned by the traumatic experience that you don't say anything at all. So you sit there and watch everyone frantically try to help pull you out of this strange trance you're in.

So you arrive at the hospital with guns blazing, not caring that you look like a total nutcase. You say and do things you would never do on a regular basis. In my case, I run around screaming at every person who dares to cross my path of rage.

"REINER! YOU NEED TO GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" My mom frantically has her hands tightly wrapped around my shoulders. She looks terrified, but she's trying her best to be brave for the two of us. My other friends don't bother to do anything, they just stare at me with pity and fear in their eyes. Connie and Sasha are squeezing each other's hands, as Sasha tries not to cry. Ymir goes to talk to me, but Krista quickly stops her, whispering frantically into her ear. Mikasa and Armin sit in the chairs, patiently watching everything that happens around them. Jean has his head on Marco's shoulder, trying to stare at anything but me. Marco looks at me and silently nods, affirming that I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. And Eren? Eren is nowhere to be seen.

"DON'T TELL ME WHEN TO CALM DOWN! BERTHOLDT IS IN THERE! HE'S PROBABLY CRYING AND HE NEEDS ME!"

"REINER, THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! MY SWEET BERTHOLDT IS IN THERE IN AGONY AND HE'S SCARED! HE COULD BE-" My voice cracks and I literally throw myself to the floor crying nonstop. My cries echo down the hospital corridor causing a few startled visitors to look in my direction.

My mom wraps her arms in a tight grip around me, rocking and whispering sweet lullabies into my ear. "Please Reiner, they're trying their best. Please..before I start crying too." I look up and see the small silent tears going down her face.

An hour passes and still we sit here in this uncomfortable silence as we watch other horror stories similar to ours. A woman is transported in on the stretcher because she's having a heart attack. An old man is in the corner screaming for his wife but still nobody tries to help his emotional needs. The paramedics are everywhere, the ambulances arrive nonstop.

Finally, a female nurse approaches us. She has short auburn hair, and a blue hospital jumpsuit that all the nurses wear. A kind, sympathetic look, she walks towards my direction.

"Are you Reiner Braun?"

I can't even speak correctly as I manage a pathetic 'yes' to her question. The kind woman shakes my hand, introducing herself as Nurse Petra Ral. My mom asks her several questions as she looks at me analyzing my condition. I probably look like shit.

"Come this way to the ICU. I'll lead you there."

We all get up and follow Nurse Petra through the halls in silence. I notice Mikasa is probably gone looking for Eren. Armin remains with us and he mouths to me asking if I need water. I nod no in response as he nods kindly before saying something to Marco.

Bertholdt's mom is standing outside a room pacing. She looks quite unlike herself with her hair a mess and dark circles under her eyes. Shock and sudden relief shows on her face as she notices the presence of me and my mom. Before she can say anything, a woman leaves the room. A tired look upon her face, she walks with confidence and pride.

"I'm Dr. Hange Zoe. Nice to meet all of you. Now we need to address Bertholdt-" The light outside of the room starts flashing and she runs back inside, shouting orders at everyone to leave immediately.

"IT HURTS! IT HURTS!"

My heart stops.

A high pitched scream of agony follows. Bertholdt is screaming. Bertholdt is SCREAMING. He is in the hospital room and in extreme pain. This isn't a regular scream, it's the scream of physical suffering mixed with fear. I don't know what to do next as darkness starts to cover my line of sight.

That is when I passed out unconscious on the floor.

"ALRIGHT KIDS! WE'RE ON TO MY FAVORITE CHAPTER OF ALL TIME! SO ALL OF YOU HORN DOGS BETTER GET READY." Our health teacher, Mr. Zacharias, stands there staring at us with a maniacal smile on his face. He's one of those cool teachers, not caring if you text in the back of class. Mike is well liked by everyone, he makes everyone call him Mike since he despises formality, students and teachers alike. There's only one little problem; Mike tends to act very strange when he teaches the sex ed chapter.

"Um..."

"YES THOMAS WHAT IS IT!?"

The blond boy shuffles in his chair. "Never mind." He quickly squeaks, wishing he never said anything at all. I'm sitting in the back of the class with Bertholdt and Connie. Connie and I are snickering as we watch everyone stare at Mike in fear. Bertholdt is the only one who's actually taking this crap seriously. Somebody bless this guy, he's an angel. Not as much as Freckled Jesus but it's close enough.

"NOW WE'RE GOING TO REPEAT AFTER ME. BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ARE VERY IMMATURE AND CAN'T SAY THE WORD PENIS WITHOUT LAUGHING. NOW WE'RE GOING TO SAY THE WORD PENIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL EVERYONE LEARNS TO STOP BEING IMMATURE. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, CONNIE!?"

We all turn to see Connie sitting there with his face lit up bright red. I snicker and nudge Bertholdt with my elbow before purposely stepping on Connie's foot. Connie yelps which only prompts Mike to stare at him with an evil look on his face.

"CONNIE, STAND UP!"

Connie manages to stand up before giving me the finger. Bertholdt glares thinking that what I just did was mean.

"CONNIE! YOU'RE GOING TO SAY THE WORD PENIS REPEATEDLY UNTIL I TELL YOU TO STOP."

"But- WHY ME!?" Connie stares in disbelief, knowing the embarrassment up ahead.

"BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW YOU LIKE TO GET BUSY WITH YOUR LADY FRIEND."

Now Bertholdt's finally laughing as we both immediately think of all the times Connie and Sasha sucked each other's faces off behind the bleachers.

"WE'RE WAITING, CONNIE SPRINGER." Mike is standing, tapping his fingers against the desk.

"...penis."

"LOUDER CONNIE I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

"...penis!"

"WHAT!?"

"PENIS!"

"AGAIN! SAY IT THREE TIMES!"

"PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!"

"VERY GOOD MR. SPRINGER VERY GOOD! NOW SIT DOWN!"

Connie immediately sits down before warning that he'll kill us in our sleep.

"When a woman and a man have SEX the man's PENIS is usually HARD beforehand! Let us talk about how the PENIS penetrates the VAGINA!"

I don't think I can take this anymore and neither can Bertholdt. How the hell do you expect us not to laugh when Mike's screaming like a lunatic about sexual intercourse!? Bertholdt and I start to pass notes to each other under the table as Mike goes around screaming about pregnancy and STDs.

"REMEMBER KIDS! I AM ALWAYS WATCHING YOU. I CAN TELL IF YOU'RE BUSY DOING THE NASTY. BECAUSE I CAN SMELL IT."

Here we go again.

"I KNOW WHAT SEX SMELLS LIKE AND I CAN SMELL SEMEN TOO."

Before Mike can continue, someone knocks on the door. All of a sudden, he's calm and composed as he opens the door.

"Hello. Is there anything you need?"

The new student quickly shakes her head no and runs off frightened by Mike's height. He's the only guy I know who's taller than Bertholdt.

"And now we move on to sex between HOMOSEXUALS." Mike looks at Bertholdt and I, prompting us to fidget with nervousness and agitation. Connie's snickering this time, and I mentally remind myself to give him a wedgie later.

"LET US TALK ABOUT THE LUBE and anal SEX."

The bell suddenly rings, relieving us from Mike's psychotic craze about sex. We immediately run off as Bertholdt and I high five each other in the hallway.

"What the hell..." I open my eyes and see myself in a hospital room.

"Reiner...you passed out from shock." I turn my head to see my mom sitting there with a book in her hands. "Reading calms me down."

"I don't know how you can concentrate at a time like this..." I mutter as my head starts to throb. "Ugh...where's everyone else?"

"They're probably walking around the hospital. I told them they could all go home, but they remained adamant. Reiner..we're all worried."

"I know, I know." The gravity of the situation suddenly dawned on me and I started gasping for breath rapidly. My mom stands at my side as she firmly takes my hand in hers.

"It's going to be okay."

"How do you know that for sure-"

Ymir walks into the room and stares at the scene before her.

"You guys should go home seriously."

"We're not leaving you. Both of you guys are our friends."

I nod in silent thanks as more people enter the room.

"Do any of you guys know how Bertholdt's doing?"

More unsure looks as Jean's gentle snores fill the silence in the room.

"Dude. We're so sorry this happened." Connie shakes his head feeling disgusted by everything.

"Stop apologizing. None of this is anyone's fault."

Mikasa's back this time and I turn to her. "Where's Eren? I saw you go looking for him."

Her eyes cloud over before she answers. "He's fine."

My mom excuses herself and leaves the room. It's for the best, she needs a break from all this bullshit. We all stare at each other before sighing for the millionth time.

"Hey...cheer up." I try to crack a smile before my voice cracks again.

Marco squeezes Jean's arm to keep him from falling. This simple gesture of love made my heart flutter. I realize with harsh reality that I may never be able to do that with Bertholdt. Looking down at my hands, I wonder what's happening with him.

"Whatever happens, we'll stay by your side. We are all one unit, and we will get through this together. Don't worry about staying strong because united we stand." Armin's calm voice made everyone feel at ease.

"...And divided we fall.." We all jolt to see Eren stand there at the doorway. He looks like a wreck as Mikasa runs over and hugs him.

I laugh sarcastically. "You look like crap."

"Look who's talking."

"Eren..where the hell have you been?" Ymir scrutinizes him before wrapping her arm around a tired Krista.

"Don't worry about it.."

Mikasa sticks up for him as usual. It's almost like old times. Almost.

"Reiner..why don't you get some sleep. We're fine." Krista manages to give me a hug.

"And you guys need to go home and sleep."

"We're not leaving." Sasha finally speaks for the first time as she passes everyone some food she bought from the hospital cafe. "Hospital food sucks.." she groans.

The door opens and Nurse Petra enters with a slightly alarmed look on her face.

"What are you all doing here.." Coughing, Nurse Petra explains to us in her best way possible about Bertholdt's condition. Because of some stupid patient confidentiality law, we're not really allowed to know the full story.

"Thank you...for...everything.." I doze off into a sleep again not caring that other people are watching.

Bertholdt

"Hold on, Bertholdt! Don't die on us! I swear don't you dare die on us!" A female doctor with glasses stares down at me sternly. Everything's an odd haze and all I feel is excruciating pain.

More hands are gripping my limbs, restraining me to my bed. Other hospital staff are in and out of the door running over to talk to the female doctor. I can't even articulate about how bad the pain is. All I can do is scream, which does nothing to help the situation at all.

My mind flashes towards Reiner before I notice a man placing a mask over my face. Oh that's nice..the anesthesiologist is here...

Where am I?

I look around and notice the near blinding brightness surrounding me everywhere. I have no idea what I'm looking at. I can't tell if I'm in a specific time zone or anything.

Is this what heaven feels like? It's so nice and peaceful here.

"You're not permanently dead."

I whirl around and see a man standing there. He's very tall with brown hair smoothed back on his head. A kind smile on his face, I notice the hazel eyes and his tall height.

"Come here...son." The man cracks the same smile I inherited from him as he invites me over with open arms.

I run over and hug him sobbing. I can't stop, I can't think at all.

"Dad...I don't know what to say!"

"You don't need to say anything. I've seen it all myself. Your poor mother." He sighs and shakes his head. "Bertholdt..I'm aware that we never met since I passed away two months before you were born. I've also taken notice that your mother never told you what occurred. Sit down and let me explain what happened."

We both sat down on some sort of bench before my father stares at some sort of 'sky.'

"I first met your mother when we were dating different people at the same restaurant. Coincidentally, both of us were looking for someone to settle down with. I had already been divorced whereas your mother had a boyfriend. When we met, it was love at first sight. Heading to the bathroom, I accidentally ran into her. The way we looked at each other was unquestionable. I knew right then and there I wanted to take her home as my wife. We continued to contact each other. I recall staying up the entire night chatting with her on the phone. And so we dated, we danced, we fell in love. Our wedding was a simple affair, nothing too extravagant. After the wedding, we went on our honey moon to Paris, France. I worked in accounting back then."

A flash of pain is seen in his eyes as my father continues. "When I found out your mother was pregnant with you, I was the happiest man alive. At least I thought I was. We spent months happily preparing for the moment I could earn the pride to raise you as my son. But then..something happened... We were shopping in the super market, your mother and I. A regular man appeared but he looked like he wasn't right in the head. He approached us asking us where the meat department was. After I told him, he suddenly pulled out a gun and aimed it at your mother."

I stare in shock, unable to comprehend what my father just told me.

"He wanted to kill. He didn't care who, just anyone. As he went to shoot her, I stood in front and I let him shoot me instead. Bertholdt..forgive me for not being there all these years. I'm sorry. So sorry...But..I didn't think. I just acted. Please..know that I love you and your mother no matter what. Oh..and let her know she shouldn't be afraid to fall in love again. She needs to be happy. And so do you, Bertholdt."

Surprisingly, the light started to simmer which made me shield my eyes.

"Son..you have a decision. I want you to fight. Fight for your happiness. Fight for your mother. Because I know someone who is madly in love with you. I don't want you to die without having went through the true pure ecstasy of being with the love of your life. I died with no regrets, so please, don't let the past hold you and your mother back anymore."

"But Dad-"

"Good bye, son."

The light shines so bright I can't see anything.

"He's pulling through! He's making it!"

The chaos impacts me without restraint as I hear a collage of several voices shouting at each other. I hear the female doctor again, but I can't open my eyes. "Thank God...He's going to make it. He survived. Transport him to his room. He'll need rest for the next few days until he fully regains consciousness."

I'm alive. I can't believe it. I'm alive and I'll be able to see everyone again. But most of all, I'll see Reiner again.

Reiner

I'm finally released from the hospital room after a full night of sleep. My friends visit my house practically everyday after school and Armin helps me catch up on school work I missed. It seems everyone at school knows because even the teachers are cutting me some slack. Mom sticks by my side every single day, constantly keeping me a watchful eye on me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Numb..But I'm okay..This Calculus homework makes no sense at all."

"Take a break if you need one."

"Mom..I'm okay seriously."

The phone rings and she answers before frantically running into the room.

"REINER I JUST TALKED TO MRS. FUBAR! WE HAVE TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL! IT'S BERTHOLDT!"

Not hesitating, we both ran to the car and drove like mad men to the hospital. Everyone else is coming too since I sent them a group text.

Meeting up with everyone, a startled Nurse Petra greets us at the door.

We all enter the room in silence and precious Bertholdt lays there in bed with some tubes strapped to his arms. He looks so peaceful, laying there asleep.

"He's going to be fine. He just needs to rest for a few days. He really pulled through, we're all so relieved."

Dr. Zoe enters the door but before she can even speak, I run over and wrap my arms around the woman.

"W-well you're welcome!" Dr. Zoe laughs after she manages to escape my bear hug. "He's just fine. No need to worry. I thank you all for your patience and cooperation. Now please leave the room, I need to speak to Mrs. Fubar in private."

"I can't believe he made it. I thought he was a goner."

"Jean! That's inappropriate!" Marco glances a worried look in my direction.

"Well, now we can finally have some normalcy around here. I'm glad everything's finally going to be okay." Armin smiles, glancing at everyone with that usual wise look on his face.

Sasha sits next to Connie munching on some chips. "I bet Bertholdt will be hungry when he wakes."

"Unlike you, we're not always hungry!" Connie laughs as he teases Sasha about her food obsession.

"That incident was a close call. Reiner..you need to tell him." Ymir speaks with urgency. "Stop waiting."

"She's right. You should tell him." Mikasa looks at Armin before nodding her head.

"It's obvious. You need to say something."

"Like the hickey marks on your neck from-" Eren covers my mouth before I finish my sentence.

"I'm just glad everything's finally back to some sort of normalcy. Best of all, we're closer than ever. Reiner, we want you to be happy too. You're always happy, but you need to be genuinely happy." Krista grinned from ear to ear as she squeezed my hand.

"Yeah well, I'm fucking hungry now." Jean groans, obviously feeling uncomfortable from the sappy scene in front of him.

Marco smirks at Jean. "I'll feed you later, big boy."

"Alright, alright I'm getting uncomfortable."

"Shut up Connie, like you don't make out with Sasha every time you get."

"I'm right here you know!"

I laugh listening to the usual bickering before I walk off to visit Bertholdt again.

I sit in a chair near his bed and hold his hand. Watching him look so content in his sleep makes me sigh with joy. I don't need to say anything. All I need is to be near him and I know everything is okay. Something moves in the corner of my eye. What the hell was that? I couldn't sworn I just saw a man. Groaning, I decide it doesn't matter and watch Bertholdt again.

We're all glad you made it Bertholdt. But I'm not just glad. I'm relieved and I feel grounded again.

Bertholdt, I love you so much. I don't think you'll ever understand how much I love you but that's fine. Because as long as you're alive, my life is perfect.