It's Birthday's birthday! -cue the bad jokes- I decided to write this oneshot to celebrate - it's cheerful so it probably takes place before the events of the second season. ... Or maybe it's an AU where none of the bad stuff happened, you decide. Anyway, enjoy!

Bets and Surprise Parties

In the wise words of one certain blond male, there is hardly ever a reason to be awake - let alone do actual work - before 9:30 in the morning, on any morning. The few exceptions include emergencies (such as if the house were on fire), cases of extreme importance, and things involving the stealing of another certain someone's (porn) DVDs. It follows, then, that Birthday would probably laugh in disbelief if he knew that all of Hamatora (save for him, of course), as well as Café Nowhere's staff, police superintendent Art, Nice's clients-turned-friends Theo and Rei, Birthday's own high school friend Chiyuu, and a handful of other people he had met in various places were currently awake and working hard. Since 8 this morning, the group has been getting Café Nowhere ready for the surprise party that will be held shortly to celebrate the birthday of none other than Birthday (tons of horrible jokes have already been made and will presumably continue to be made as the day goes on). Ratio is in charge.

"Hey Ratio, the cake's nearly done, I've just got to finish decorating it!" Nice shouts from the kitchen. He had been assigned the job of baking the cake for the simple reason that he had managed to screw up their initial plan of buying one ("but guys, nobody said that the money lying on the counter was for a cake, and now I've spent it already!") despite his normally-sharp wits. What nobody had expected was for Nice to turn out to be fantastic at baking. In his defense, Hajime really loves well-made pastries, cupcakes, and the like, so it would make sense that his cakes would turn out fantastic while he burns all of the "proper" food he attempts to make. ... At least, to Nice it would.

"I'll help," Hajime mutters. Before Ratio can say anything, she's darted into the kitchen and has presumably started snacking on whatever's lying around. He sighs. Some things can't be helped.

"Have I missed anyone's presents?" asks Art, whose arms are laden full of gifts in all shapes and sizes wrapped in various vibrant colors. Nobody answers at first, at least until Chiyuu stands up and carefully balances a thin box decorated with particularly pretty blue-and-yellow-patterned wrapping paper on top of one of the larger boxes that Art is already holding onto. He smiles at her. Minutes later, the young superintendent is standing by one of the tables closer to the bar, where he has just set out all of the boxes.

Meanwhile, not far from where Art had previously been standing, Rei and Theo have climbed on top of chairs to hang up some extra streamers. They are actually working quite well as a pair, much unlike Nice and Murasaki, who are presently arguing over which colors to use for what purpose on the cake. The one remaining duo are also getting far more done, though not together; Three has opted for putting up decorations in some of the harder-to-reach spots, since he's tall enough to get to them more easily. Honey's sitting on a chair near him, frowning slightly as she taps about on her Mighty. It's her task to warn the others when Birthday's about to arrive.

Everyone else is either helping with one of the aforementioned tasks, or helping to get the drinks and snacks ready. Being the leader, Ratio's supposed to be making sure people get their jobs done, but instead he finds himself barely able to breathe before being bombarded with questions and announcements of progress from all sides. Birthday had better appreciate this, he thinks to himself, resisting the urge to sigh again.

Suddenly, a shout from Honey snaps Ratio back to attention.

"Got you!"

"What's the matter? Is he on his way?" Ratio asks immediately.

"Not yet, but in ten minutes he'll be leaving his apartment," she announces. This knowledge puts panic on everyone's faces. Knowing they have to act rapidly now (Ratio shares that apartment with Birthday, so he knows it'll take 5 minutes at most for Birthday to get here), Ratio calls out for everyone to finish what they're doing as fast as they can. It seems that everyone is doing just that - until he hears that Nice and Murasaki are still arguing over which color to frame the message written in icing on the top layer of the cake with. Art happens to look Ratio's way in time to see a vein that's seconds from popping in the taller man's temple.

"I'll go sort the cake problem out," he quickly declares before heading into the kitchen and proceeding to do exactly that. A sigh of relief leaves Ratio's lips. Now, all that's left to do is finish hanging up the decorations and get everyone to their places before Birthday gets here. Exactly nine minutes later, Ratio calls out for people to hide behind the bars or under tables. Nice, Art, Hajime, and Murasaki emerge from the kitchen with the cake. As soon as it's been placed on a table (complete with candles, plastic plates, a cutting knife, and cutlery) they too find a place to hide. Ratio tells everyone to stay where they are until they see the lights turn back on while he walks to the door and turns them off. He then proceeds to stand a few paces away from the door to the café and pretend to be busy with his phone.

"Ratio~!" greets Birthday with a grin and a wave not even two whole minutes later.

"Birthday, there you are. Took you long enough," Ratio scolds in a voice that sounds far too affectionate to actually be used to scold anyone.

"It's only a few minutes past ten, calm your tits."

"Birthday-"

"It's an expression, Ratio, an expression." His exaggerated hand gestures, coupled with a little snicker, show all too clearly that the blond is already in a good mood. Ratio smiles a little. They begin to stroll towards Café Nowhere together when Birthday hints strongly that Ratio is "forgetting something important that happens today". The taller man's smile widens.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about," he says as he opens the door and flicks on the lights.

Birthday doesn't even have the time to pout in protest before the loud cry of "surprise!" from everyone in unison catches him entirely off-guard. Even with his sunglasses on, it's easy to see his eyes widening as they move slowly from the left to the right, mentally counting how many people are present. He grins widely.

"Well fuck me sideways, I didn't see that one coming!" Only because it's his birthday does Ratio let Birthday get away without so much as a stern syllable. From somewhere in the back of the room, Nice snickers.

"Happy birthday," Ratio says before the two can start making stupid jokes. The blond turns to him and looks him in the eye for a moment before laughing just a bit.

"This was your idea, wasn't it?" It's obvious that Birthday already knows, judging by the light in his eyes that's always there when he's happy with something Ratio has done.

"Perhaps." Ratio knows he would be more convincing if he weren't smiling right back at his partner, but he can't really help himself.

"So," begins Birthday, turning back towards the rest of the people in the room, "where are my presents?" Everyone knows he's joking because that's how Birthday's sense of humor works, however - to quote Ratio - dumb it is. Nice steps forward and indicates the table with the wrapped objects piled onto it, but tells Birthday that he should try the cake first.

"Cake? What cake?" asks Birthday; when he spots Murasaki holding said cake, he lets out what can only be described as a cackle of glee before asking where the cake knife is so he can cut himself a slice. One meaningful look from Ratio reminds him that he's got guests to cut slices for too, so he pouts and says that they should line up to get a piece. The guests proceed to do exactly that - Hajime is, unsurprisingly, first in line.

"Say, Birthday, what do you think of the cake?" Art asks casually when, a few minutes later, it's his turn to receive a slice.

"I haven't tried it yet," states Birthday with a deadpan look, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"I meant the decorations, actually," elaborates Art, smiling a little more at how direct Birthday is being.

"Oh, that! They're great, I like the blue-y bits, that's my favorite color." He says something after that, but Art isn't really listening anymore. Instead, he looks over his shoulder just enough to catch Nice's eye and give him a satisfied look. The brunet steps up next to get his slice of cake - Birthday nearly bursts out laughing when he realizes that Art and Nice most probably decorated that cake together, and that Art had just won some sort of bet about which of the colors Birthday would like best. Instead he just snickers to himself loud enough for only Nice to hear.

Some time later, after everyone's eaten their cake, sung the obligatory happy-birthday song, and given Birthday the things they had gotten him, Birthday sits with Ratio near the bar. The others are chatting or laughing in small groups.

"Hey, Ratio?" Birthday starts when they've both been quiet for what he decides is long enough.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks." Ratio's visible blue eye widens. It's very unusual, after all, for Birthday to express gratitude in such a straightforward way, especially to him.

"What's gotten into you?" asks the taller man in a light tone.

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice here! And I don't mean the guy that's hitting on the inspector over there," Birthday jokes, jerking his thumb in the direction of Nice, who (sure enough) looks like he's trying to find an excuse to kiss Art.

"Oh sure you are."

"Wow, I'm loving the faith you have in me."

"You know what?" Ratio pauses, so Birthday wonders if he even has a comeback at all or if he's trying to change the subject. It turns out to be the latter. "... I'm glad you're enjoying the party," continues the doctor after a moment.

Before Birthday has the chance to reply, Ratio's leaning over to him and kissing him. He happily kisses back; normally Ratio is quite strict when it comes to PDA, so Birthday jumps at the opportunity every time the other allows it. They break apart moments later.

"... Nobody's looking anyway, wanna make out?" Birthday asks with a grin. Glancing left and right to double check that this is indeed the case, Ratio sighs before nodding.

"Only because it's your birthday. Tomorrow and any time after that, we do this in private."

"Yeah, yeah."

And as simply as that, they proceed to do exactly as Birthday had suggested.

Nice grins in a way that's almost audible.

"I told you they would," he says to Art, who is currently looking anywhere but at Hamatora's second duo.

"Then I suppose we're even, aren't we?" asks Art in return.

When Birthday had made his guesses about the cake and its decorations earlier, he had been almost completely correct. The one thing he hadn't predicted, however, was that the only reason Art had been involved in the decoration of the cake was because Murasaki and Nice had been completely unable to agree on what Birthday's favorite color could be. Nice had guessed red, given that the blond always wore that red pants-and-jacket combo. Murasaki had disagreed, claiming that someone like Birthday couldn't possibly have another favorite color than yellow, the most energetic color (and also that of his hair). This ridiculous argument had gone on until Art had stepped in and told them both that he was quite certain that Birthday's favorite color was blue. At the time, he simply said that Birthday had told him so once; only after they had finished decorating the whole cake did he admit to Nice that he was really just guessing.

"Based on what?" Nice had questioned, surprised.

"Based on Ratio's eye color," Art had answered with a little bit of a laugh. "I mean, I'm quite certain that if they aren't already dating, it won't take much longer for them to do so."

This had led to the bet about Birthday's favorite color, and not long afterwards, Nice had decided to get back at Art with a bet about whether the pair really were a couple or not. Evidently Nice had won that one.