"Dear Diary"

Part I

Hiei's Diary I

Disclaimer: I swear, someone out there is getting a sick sort of joy from rubbing this into my face every time I type this: I don't own YYH. *rubs eyes frantically*

Warnings: It's really too silly to be anything, but if you're easily (I mean very easily) offended, you probably shouldn't read this.

Day 1:

Am currently plotting to steal the Three Treasures of Reikai with Gouki so I can take over the world! Muahahaha! Oh, and so I can find my sister, too. But a guy's gotta have his priorities straight . . . and after all, what did those damn koorime ever do for me? Oh well, since I'm such a magnanimous, well-bred, good-hearted gentleman, I'm willing to bury the hatchet.

Note to self: Look up that guy I was trying to kill last year. If I try to steal the Three Treasures with only Gouki's help, we're dead. What he doesn't know about stealth and subtlety could fill the entire collection of the Encyclopedia Britannica. What was that guy's name again . . . ? Damn. I told him I'd remember.

Day 5:

Finally remembered his name. Probably drunk too much sake at Gouki's wild party the other night. It was Kurama. Funny name. Going to go look him up in Ningenkai.

Day 6:

Kurama agreed, if he could have the Mirror of Utter Darkness. Probably just so he could admire his pretty face. How could I have forgotten his name? He's so attractive - and he knows it. That slut kept winking at me and flashing suggestive grins. Damn him! Resolve . . . weakening. Must remember . . . am cold, aloof, unavailable fire demon. Cold . . . aloof . . . unavailable . . . cold . . . aloof. . . unavailable....

Day 10:

Stole artifacts. I got the Sword, which can turn anything it pierces into a low-class demon. Gouki got the Orb so he could steal children's souls and stuff his face. Kurama got the Mirror . . . and when I suggested he use its powers to take over the world, he said he was backing out! That bastard! And when he walks out on us, some idiot ningen shows up, all cocky, and announces that he's a Spirit Detective sent to catch us. Screw him – I don't need to worry about a mere ningen. I don't know why Kurama did that! Wait . . . yes, I do. He's just playing around with my feelings! Shit! Shouldn't have been staring at him like that when he was doing that striptease to distract the guards of the artifacts . . .

Day 15:

When I caught up with Kurama the other day, he was taking his shirt off. I couldn't face him while he was bare-chested, so I slunk away. Damn kitsune! He knew I was there, and that was the only way he could get me to back off. As if he would be taking his shirt off in the middle of a forest for any other reason. Hn . . . the only comfort I have is that the stupid ningen who claimed to be one of Koenma's fools has killed Gouki – and hopefully Kurama will share his fate. I wonder if when he's dead, I'll stop visualizing that strong, muscular chest of his? Ugh . . . mental image coming back. Need . . . to be . . . strong.

Day 17:

Kurama isn't dead . . . from what I heard, he convinced Yusuke he was going to use the Mirror for a good purpose – that of saving his mother's life. He even got that blasted Spirit Detective to volunteer half his own life to save Shiori! Must have seduced him too . . . I swear, no one can resist that youko's charm!

That Yusuke will be coming after me next. I'm going to kill him.

Day 25:

Found out Yusuke has a girlfriend named Keiko (wonder how long that's going to last with Kurama in the picture?). I kidnapped her, and made several demons with the sword to hold her while I got Yusuke to come to my hideout. Out of pure spite, I cut Keiko with the sword. I'm feeling particularly hateful these days. Must be those stupid things called emotions . . . God, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to make Kurama suffer a painful, slow death!!!

Ok . . . need to calm down. Slow, deep breaths, that's it, Hiei. Anyways, Yusuke managed to beat me with sheer dumb luck. It's the hormones, I swear! They're throwing off my fighting skills!

To make things worse . . . Kurama showed up in the middle of our fight, and took a sword through the stomach for Yusuke. Then he threw his cursed blood over my Jagan. So he's partly the reason I lost. Too bad it didn't kill him.

Right now I'm sitting in a damn cold cell in Reikai, waiting for my punishment. My only comfort: Mr. Snuffles, my stuffed bunny that Koenma lent me. He's so huggable . . . and oh yeah, Kurama's being punished too! Hope he gets what he deserves. But he might try to seduce Koenma too – shit. If he does, he definitely won't fail.

Conclusion: Keiko lives, Yusuke lives, Kurama lives. I'm a prisoner of the royal brat. At least I know things can't get worse than this.

Day 30:

Life sucks. My punishment: I'm being forced to help Yusuke on his missions for Reikai. Could things get worse? Yes, they could. That's Kurama's punishment too. I wish I could just die.

As if that bigheaded ningen and that damnable kitsune aren't big enough problems, there's another member of our little "team."

Kazuma Kuwabara. Stupidity incarnate. Not only is he ugly, coarse, and inept, he's even louder than Yusuke and more infuriating than Kurama. He just has to keep rubbing in my face that I'm – I'm – less than average height! I nearly broke down sobbing when he did that – after all the humiliating attempts Yusuke made to be friendly, after all the tortuous nudges and grins Kurama threw my way – it was just getting to be too much!

I – I need a comforting shoulder to lean my head on – someone who will listen to my troubles and offer kind advice. I wish Koenma would let me have Mr. Snuffles back, but he said he belonged to Reikai and I couldn't keep him! Must be strong – don't think about comforting shoulders to cry on . . . makes me want to throw my arms around Kurama spontaneously.

Um, where was I? Oh right. The mission. We're at Maze Castle right now. Some Saint Beasts are trying to take over Ningenkai, for some reason. And we're supposed to stop them, for an equally vague reason. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get killed in a way that doesn't look stupid or involve foxes.

Later, same day

We were at this gate, when the ceiling started to come down and we had to hold it up. Yusuke and Kurama told me to go flip the switch, since I'm the fastest, and when I was there, this eyeball-thingy told me to just leave them . . . which I was going to do anyway, but then Kurama turned on his charm and I got a blast of it. Damn, damn, damn. That youko's too sexy for his own good.

We met the first Saint Beast – this weird stone guy named Genbu. Kurama was the one who fought him. He knows he's making my life a living hell – during the battle he kept sending me meaningful glances after landing blows, or pained looks after he was hit. And that thing he has with roses . . . it's incredibly attractive. Realized I was showing too much of my feelings when Kuwabara whispered something to Yusuke while looking at me – I had been watching with my eyes wide with apprehension, while clutching my face. Noticed I need to trim my fingernails.

Kurama was hurt, even though he killed Genbu. Am torn with worry and hate. Hn. I'm sure that even if I don't do anything, he'll be well taken care of by Yusuke, who is acting extremely solicitous towards him. The funny thing is that Kuwabara seems to be immune to Kurama's charm – either that or Kurama thinks Kuwabara's ugliness isn't worth directing his attention to. Probably the latter.

Later

I have ample proof that Kuwabara is indeed, the stupidest person I have ever met. He volunteered to fight Byakko, the second Saint Beast. It took him so goddamn long to finally kill that freak! And he came so close to dying – he can't even do that right! I really need to work off my anger and frustration . . . I'll fight the next guy.

Still later

Ok . . . Kuwabara didn't even kill Byakko. The great, filthy (not to mention stinky) brute came in just when I was getting ready to fight Seiryuu, the third Saint Beast. Then Seiryuu killed Byakko for not managing to kill us. For some reason I was overcome with emotion and felt a strange urge to get Seiryuu for that. Must be the hormones again. Defeated him pretty easily.

Even later

After I beat Seiryuu, we came up against these disturbing vegetable people. Of course, since Yusuke's the hero and all, he had to go on ahead and beat the last guy. Leaving us to deal with the vegetable people. But to get him up to the tower, past the vegetable people, we had to stand on each other's shoulders and let him jump on us. That was, amazingly, my idea. Definitely not one of my better ones. I unfortunately had to stand on Kurama's shoulders and kept getting strong impulses to sit down, wrap my arms around his head, and bury my nose in his hair. But I resisted! I might be making my way to recovery! Wooohh!

The final "later"

Hmm . . . Yusuke defeated Suzaku, but I still think it's just because he's the luckiest bastard I've ever met. That and the fact that he always gets so much more powerful when his friends are in danger. Suzaku made the big mistake of going after Keiko to get to Yusuke. Hn. I could have told him that wouldn't work, but nooo . . . I swear, even though he always manages to save her, she's the most troublesome sort of girlfriend you can get. The only good thing about her is that the image of her teary face got Yusuke's mind off that dirty little fox for a while.

Am glad that this mission is over, but have nasty feeling that another one is coming up soon. The longer I stay away from Kurama, the better. I think I have a chance of completely getting over him!

A/N: Well, Hiei's a lot more talkative than he seems, ne? ^_^;; I know he would kill me if he saw this . . .

This is divided into four parts: Part I features their diary entries from ep. 1-25, I believe, and Part II is from ep. 26-66 ,etc. and since they will each have a chapter for every part, there will be at least 16 chapters. I say "at least" because I'm considering adding some other people's diaries later on.

There might be some inconsistencies with the dates, ("Day 1, Day 2, etc.) if you care enough to actually make a timeline according to the dates I use. Also, "Day 1" will be different for each person, depending on where I think their story really starts. (or where it's most convenient for me) So any mistakes you might find . . . well, I try.

-_-;;

Would it kill ya to review? ^___^