A/N: This is a fic cowritten with Smart Girl, who doesn't have an account on this site. She wrote most of it, I mostly just edited and added a few lines. But in general, this is Smart Girl's fic. I wanted her to write me a fic with all of my favorite things in it, and it ended up being a fic about PJO characters in college getting drunk.

So, here's chapter one. Established ships in this fic are Percabeth, Frazel, past!Prachel, Jasico, and Caleo.

So anyway, enjoy. And please review!

Disclaimer: We own nothing.

Chapter One

Leo Valdez was once again cleaning the bar, bored out of his mind. It was almost nine o'clock, he'd been working his shift for the last hour and a half, he had roughly eight hours left to go, and until his friends got here, it was going to be a living hell.

Leo sometime wasn't sure whether he was friends with Percy's crowd because they came to his bar, or if they were friends with him because he was a bartender. Either way, it was a quiet bar, hidden in the boroughs of New York, in between an abandoned Stop and Shop, and the rundown old building where Grover lived. And he only lived there so that the city wouldn't tear it down. It really wasn't much of a building.

Leo hopefully looked up when he heard the bell tinkle as a customer walked in, and grinned as he saw Percy Jackson, one of their regulars (Leo's regulars; not enough people spent time at this bar to merit the plural pronoun), walk in, noticeably girlfriend-less.

"Hey Perce, where's Annabeth?"

Percy sighed, looking sad. "She's got a cold and couldn't come."

Leo smiled sympathetically. "Man, that's rough, dude. It's like I always say, it's no fun making out with somebody who's sick. Unless they're really hot." Percy raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment, instead asking for his usual, a strawberry daiquri, and ignoring Leo's not-so-whispered comment about girly drinks.

"Where are the others?" Percy asked, sipping his drink.

"Well, last time I checked, Rachel texted saying she was coming, Grover was at an environmental rally and couldn't make it, and Jason and Nico were having a make-out session at my apartment. I mean seriously, I shouldn't have to knock going into my own apartment. Well, I guess technically it's Jason's, but I live there too!"

Percy chuckled. "Nico does like to make out. N-Not that I know from experience," he quickly added.

Leo nodded, clearly not believing him. Luckily for Percy, the bell rang again and in sauntered Rachel Elizabeth Dare.

"Hey Percy. Nice to see I'm not the first one here. Gin, please," she added to Leo. While he was getting the drink, she turned to Percy. "Last time, he spent the entire night hitting on me. Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

"Yes I do," Leo said, putting the glass down with a little more force than strictly necessary, "But if you paid attention, you would know that she's studying abroad, in Greece."

Rachel took her drink, offering no form of apology, and asked, "Didn't she have a thing for Percy, though?"

Leo laughed. "Everybody had a thing for Percy at one time or another. Even I did."

Percy spluttered into his daiquiri and looked up. "What?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, like I said, everybody has."

Rachel nodded in agreement. "It's kind of true."

"Wha- no it isn't!" Percy tried to insist.

Rachel looked around the mostly empty bar for someone who could help prove her point, and excitedly noticed that two of their friends had just walked in.

"Hey Jason," she called to one of them, who had to physically remove his boyfriend's mouth from his to turn to her. "Did you ever have a thing for Percy?"

Jason's eyebrows knit in just the tiniest bit of confusion, but he answered as if the question were perfectly normal. "Of course. Hasn't everyone?"

Rachel grinned smugly at Percy. "See?"

The shorter man who had walked in with Jason grabbed his hand and dragged him over to sit next to their friends, then commenced sitting on his lap (despite the fact that there were plenty of extra chairs). "Except I liked him first, therefore I win."

Leo frowned challengingly at Nico. "No, I think Annabeth liked Percy before you did, dude."

"Well, yeah, but I liked him earliest," Nico countered, leaning one arm on the bar and wrapping the other around Jason. "I was like ten."

Percy groaned. "Guys, we are not having this conversation!"

"Yeah, come on guys," Jason reprimanded them. Percy started to thank him, but Jason continued, "I'm not even drunk yet! Leo, get us all a round of shots!"

The group cheered, save for Percy (who really, really missed his girlfriend).

Leo poured out the drinks and one for himself, and held his out in a toast. "To crushes on Percy!" The others repeated this (except, of course, for Percy) and swallowed theirs.

This celebratory toast led to Nico and Jason immediately making out for at least a solid minute, after which Nico proclaimed, "Mmm. Alcohol."

Rachel raised her gin in agreement, called out, "I'll drink to that!", and downed it, immediately calling for another. Leo thought for a bit and poured her another, reasoning she was probably immune to some amount of alcohol at this point.

Rachel was just about to swallow the drink when a hand reached out and took it. "I'll take that, thanks." Rachel glared at the offender, who downed it all in one gulp. Thalia Grace grinned cheekily at Rachel and ruffled Jason's hair, ignoring Nico's hands running through it.

"How are my favorite campers?"

Percy frowned. "Thalia, that was when we were in middle school. We haven't been there in forever."

Thalia chuckled. "I know. I just like seeing you frown."

Percy's eyes suddenly lit up and he asked, knowing Thalia had recently joined an ultra feminist sorority, "Hey Thalia, Rachel's got a theory I'm trying to disprove. Did you ever.." He faltered, "Ya know, have a… thing for me?" He trailed off.

Thalia stared at him, completely serious, for a few seconds, then shrugged and said, "Only that one Halloween you went as Apollo."

Before Percy could comment, Thalia ordered Leo to get them more drinks. He complied, but when he set one in front of Rachel, Thalia took it, saying, "You didn't pass TLE, you don't get drinks. Which, by the way, Nico," She had to pause to get him off of her brother's face, "Your sister passed. Congrats."

Nico's face lit up. "Seriously? She passed the little elephant?"

"Still not what it stands for," Thalia said. "But yes."

Nico cheered, and said, "I think this calls for another toast! Leo, more shots!"

After Rachel's drink was, once again, stolen, she grabbed the bottle from behind the counter and started chugging it. Thalia yanked it out of her hands, looking appalled. "Never do that. Leave it to the pros." She then tipped her head back and swallowed half the bottle. She grinned wolfishly at Rachel, ignoring the death-glare the other girl was sending her. Thalia leaned in and whispered softly so the others couldn't hear, "Don't want a repeat of last time, dear." Rachel's eyes widened and she looked down, a blush of shame spreading across her cheeks.

"Come on, guys, be nice," Leo scolded, taking the bottle back. "You two aren't buying any more drinks tonight."

Thalia narrowed her eyes at him. "What's that supposed to mean?

Leo rolled his eyes. "It means, next round's on me!"

The resounding cheer echoed throughout the bar.

By four in the morning, all of Leo's friends were, unsurprisingly, drunk. However, since the bar had to close sometime, Leo was forced to kick all of his friends out. As usual, they went to the closest place they could stumble to, which this time was Percy's apartment. Since Percy was incapable of operating a key, Leo took it and unlocked the door. As the group stumbled in, Percy yelled, "Annabeth, I brought company because we're drunk!" Leo rolled his eyes and wondered how on earth the girl had managed to put up with Percy.

"Hey guys, Percy's got beer!" Rachel called from the tiny kitchen. The group cheered, causing a groan to issue from the bedroom. Leo decided since Annabeth was sick, somebody ought to check on her, and since he was by far the least drunk, he decided it would have to be him.

"Percy, I'm going to check on your girlfriend because you're so drunk it's not even funny!" Leo called across the room, but got no response, so he walked into the bedroom.

"Annabeth, you in here?" His eyes weren't adjusted to the gloom and he stubbed his toe on his quest to find Percy's girlfriend. He cursed under his breath and said, "Annabeth, are you ok?" He found the bed and gingerly sat down on it, trying not to think of the implications that came with him being in Percy's bedroom with Percy's girlfriend.

"Percy, is that you?" A weak voice asked somewhere off to his left.

"Sorry, you're stuck with me, princess." Leo switched on the lamp so Annabeth could see who it was.

"Shut up, Valdez. Was that Percy saying he was drunk?"

"It was." Leo replied with a laugh. "I'm just about the only one left who isn't. Interestingly enough, though, intoxication makes Jason and Nico make out even more. I didn't know that was humanly possible."

Annabeth chuckled at this. "Getting kicked out of the apartment a lot, Valdez?"

Leo groaned. "All the freaking time. I mean, I get it, you gotta have a little fun sometimes and a sock on the door means 'don't come in' but we don't have enough freaking socks for that!" Annabeth, who had sat up, raised an eyebrow. "He keeps taking my socks. Like, all of my socks."

Annabeth laughed. "Poor baby. You know, you're always welcome here. We've got a guest room."

Yeah, and then I could hide from you two instead, Leo thought, but he said, "We do too, but of course Nico never uses it. But it's fine, next time he stays overnight, I'll just go to Hazel's and steal his room." Unless Frank is there. Valdez, you need to get a girlfriend who's not always in Greece!

Annabeth laughed, which soon turned into a cough. Leo leaned forward to help her, but she waved him off. "I'm fine, I just need to take the medicine." She groped for it, but, being doubled over in a coughing fit, she couldn't find it. Leo picked it up off of the table and offered the plastic cup, filled with one dose of foul-smelling liquid. She took it gratefully, swallowed it, and grimaced at the taste. She shook her head, as if trying to rid herself of the taste, but then immediately let out a massive yawn.

Leo wagged his finger at her and said, "You need sleep. Ignore the lunatics in the other room. I'll try and keep them quiet." Annabeth nodded sleepily at him as she laid back against the pillows. "Oh, and Annabeth, could you do me a favor?"

"Don't worry, Leo. I won't tell Percy."

Leo smiled gratefully and switched off the light.

The scene Leo returned to was… interesting, to say the least. Since Thalia had gotten drunk, she had been much less vigilant about watching Rachel, who had wasted no time in breaking out the tequila. Where the tequila had come from, since he knew Percy and Annabeth had none, Leo didn't want to know. Jason handed him a shot glass full of the stuff, and Leo dutifully swallowed it. He sighed. These were never as fun without Calypso. There was almost no point in getting drunk. Instead he contented himself to watch the chaos around him.

Jason and Nico were locked onto each other's mouths and Leo was starting to get worried they would pass out from lack of oxygen. The smaller man was also wrapped completely around the larger man's torso, looking like a koala bear with a suction cup for a mouth, trying to suck out the sap of its tree with nothing but its tongue.

Percy was the only one who had noticed Leo's entrance and was currently stumbling towards him, arms wide open for a hug. Leo braced himself for the impact, but didn't expect Percy to start trying to kiss him. "No, no, I don't need that in my life. You just… go over there… No, don't- Ok, fine, you have fun making out with that pillow. Just stay away from me."

Most interesting of all, however, was Rachel and Thalia. They were lying on the floor, wrapped around each other, and apparently trying to eat each other's faces. Leo stared for a while, trying to figure out who was winning, before deciding that was possibly the creepiest thing he could do in this situation. Instead, he pulled out his phone and started filming, starting with the girls, then capturing Percy and his new pillow girlfriend, and then finally Jason and Nico.

"Blackmail!" Leo sang. "Well, except for Jason and Nico. They do that anyway. It's still funny." He gasped. "I should send this to Calypso! She'll love it!"

In a small, but very expensive, house in Greece, a beautiful, elegantly dressed young woman was just about to leave when her phone buzzed. She smiled at the sender and started giggling at the message. She sat down and started a call.

"Leo, are you missing me?" She asked as soon as the other side picked up.

"What makes you say that?" Her boyfriend asked. "I'm only in an apartment full of people kissing the faces off of each other. Why would I miss anybody?"

Calypso laughed. "Because when I'm there, you have somebody to 'kiss the face off of,' as you so eloquently put it."

Leo sighed. "Fine. You got me. I miss you. A lot. When are you coming home? I need somebody to flirt with and make my friends jealous."

Calypso grinned, and glanced at the plane ticket on the table. "I don't know, I'm pretty tied up here. It might be a month."

"A month!" Leo practically yelled. Then muttered, "No, no Percy, don't disappoint your pillow friend. Go back to her. But keep your pants on." Then back to Calypso, "A whole month? It's already been three! I need you. It's lonely. And Jason and Nico keep using the apartment, so I don't have anywhere to hang out. And you've got that super cool giant place. We could hang out all day. And then everybody would be like, 'Hey, where's Leo?' 'I dunno, man.' And then we'd show up and I'd be like, 'BAM! I was hanging out with my super cool girlfriend.'"

Calypso giggled. "Well, I don't know. We'll have to see. I'll try and come soon. Love you." She blew a kiss into the receiver.

"Love you, too, babe. Come home soon."

A/N: We hope you liked it. Let us know what you thought and we'll update soon!