Summer of Learning

It was a lazy Sunday toward the end of summer break. This was my last summer vacation before I headed off for college. Dad had invited his best friend Sean over to watch the ball game and have an impromptu bar-be-cue. Despite the noise coming from the living room of my family watching the game, the smell of the meat cooking outside, the sounds of everyone enjoying themselves, I just wanted to be alone. In just over two weeks, I'd be going off to college. I should be excited, but all I could feel was worry and anxiety. It wasn't the school part that had me worried. I'd always loved school and did well in all my classes.

No, the problem was the after-school part of being at college. I was going to be living in the dorms, with a roommate I still had yet to meet. There would be parties and rushing for a sorority and different clubs and groups...and guys. Guys who would be living in the same dorm as me. And that made me nervous.

I had snuck up to my room, just wanting to be by myself for a while. Maybe it was just nerves getting to me, or the pressure of the unknown, of what was coming with my going to college. I was sitting on my bed, looking through my school yearbook, reading through all my friends' signatures, reminiscing over the last four years.

I heard footsteps coming from the hall. Dad's friend, Sean, started to walk by my bedroom before double-taking and poking his head in. He had shaggy, sandy blond hair that hung just long enough to reach his bright green eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart. Whatcha doin' up here by yourself?" He leaned his arm against the frame of the door, showing off his lean muscles peeking out from beneath his shirt sleeve. No one could say the man wasn't handsome, but it felt weird for me to notice. He was my dad's best friend; I'd known him all my life. He was old enough to be my own father, and I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I couldn't ignore just how hot he was. He had a long, lanky body, a baseball player's build. How that man had stayed single, I'll never know. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts before answering. For god's sake, it was Sean! I shouldn't be thinking this way!

"Hey, Sean. Just kinda wanted to be alone for a while."

"Everything okay?" he asked as he gingerly stepped into my room, sliding his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah...just kinda nervous about school." I closed my yearbook and tossed it off the bed and onto the floor.

Sean leaned against the door frame again, hands still in his pockets, and crossed one leg over the other. My eyes were drawn to the bulge between his legs. I quickly looked away, hoping the blush on my cheeks wasn't too noticeable. "Nah, you'll be fine. Trust me you'll have a blast. Meet all kinds of new friends, go to parties..."

"Well, that's what I'm nervous about," I said shyly. "You know I'm not super popular. I don't go to parties and stuff. I don't exactly make friends easily. I'm just a big ol' nerd. What the hell am I gonna do?" I dropped my head to rest my forehead on my knees and pulled my arms around my legs.

Sean crossed into my room and gently sat on my bed and ran a soothing hand over my back. "Hey...hey, don't freak out. You'll be fine. A sweet girl like you, you'll have 'em eating out of your hand in no time." I gave him a look that showed just how much I bought into that line of bull. He chuckled, "College is about...defining yourself. If you don't wanna be a wallflower anymore, don't be one."

"But that's just it. I'm used to being a wallflower. I don't really know any different. I don't know how to blend in with the 'cool kids.' Sean, I've never even kissed a guy," I blurted out, blushing furiously my spontaneous confession.

Sean looked shocked, "Really? Are you kidding me? A cute girl like you? What about that Shane guy? I thought he was always hanging around with you."

I shook my head, "No...we're just friends. I don't think he's really into my type anyway."

Sean rested his hand on the bed behind me, leaning his weight on his hands outstretched behind him. "What, he's not into the cute, funny, smart, blue and blonde type?" he asked. My pulse picked up when I realized he'd just called me cute...twice.

I looked right into his eyes. "He's gay, Sean."

"Oh," he said, letting all the pieces fall into place, then nodded. "That would explain a couple things."

I giggled at that and caught his smile in return. "I just don't want to go to college and not have even the slightest clue as to what to...do." I snorted and shook my head, "If only there was a summer class or something. I could just study my way through on how to party and make friends and...stuff."

Sean looked at me for a long time, neither of us saying anything. He was clearly working something out in his brain, but his stare was starting to make me squirm. Finally, he broke the silence, his voice suddenly low and husky. "C'mere."

I felt my ears turn red and my heart about skipped out of my chest. I raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"

He jerked his head to the side, "Just c'mere."

I scooted closer to him as he sat up to meet me in the middle. He reached up and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear as he licked his lips. Before I knew it, he was leaning forward, pressing his lips to mine.

I swear my heart stopped. The kiss remained just a simple kiss, just a meeting of our lips, then he pulled away. I blinked my eyes open, wide with surprise as I looked at him again.

"See? Nothing to it," he said, looking much calmer than I felt.

I swallowed my heart out of my throat and took a calming breath before saying, "Well, I've done that. I mean I don't know how to really kiss a guy, like with...tongue." I played with my fingers nervously in my lap, not moving away from him.

"Alright," he said after a moment. "I wanna...I'm gonna kiss you again, and we'll go slow. If you want to stop, we'll stop. Otherwise, just do what feels good."

I took in a shaky breath and nodded, hardly believing I was doing this. I love Sean, he was practically part of our family, and I had never thought of him romantically – he was more like an older brother or an uncle. I mentally shook the thoughts from my head. This was Sean. He's dad's friend, but I considered him a friend, too. And now we were apparently friends that kissed.

His hand came up to cradle my cheek, his thumb brushing across my lips, then rested my chin in the space between his thumb and pointer finger. He leaned in and kissed me again, pressing firmly against my lips. I returned the pressure and felt his lips move against mine. I felt his tongue brush against my lips as his finger and thumb applied just the slightest pressure, opening my lips to receive his tongue. I gasped against his mouth, at the sensations he was causing inside of me. I suddenly felt a strong urge to kiss him back, and pushed my tongue into his mouth.

He pulled away from me right away. Oh god, what did I do? I looked at him, worried and embarrassed. Was I a bad kisser?

He dropped a quick kiss on my lips before murmuring, "Gently, sweetheart. Gently." He kissed me again, his tongue immediately seeking mine. I tried to focus on what he was doing inside my mouth, losing myself in the feeling of kissing him, but at the same time wondering how I was supposed to breathe? His tongue caressed mine, softly, tasting me, and I swear my toes were curling in on themselves. I hesitantly tried again, copying the movements he had just done.

I twisted my tongue around his, gently as he'd told me, and felt him move against me. I heard him softly groan into my mouth, his low voice doing a number on my nerves...and my panties. I was disappointed and relieved all at once when he pulled away again. "Put your hands on me," he whispered against my mouth.

"I don't know where to put them," I said, feeling stupid and awkward.

He reached down and gently took my wrists into his hands and guided them around his neck. "Start here and see where they go. Just do what comes natural."

I nodded as I felt him slide his arms around me, his hands resting on the small of my back. I leaned in to kiss him again, our tongues coming together right away. Without even thinking about it, the tiniest moan escaped from the back of my throat. My fingers tested the skin along his shoulders, feeling the muscles lying just beneath them. Feeling brave, I threaded my fingers into his hair with one hand and dropped the other to rest on his strong chest. "Like this?" I asked between kisses. He just nodded and smiled against me, wrapping his arms around me tighter. His large hands almost covered my back as he brought me closer to him. My fingers grazed the skin revealed by the V-neck of his t-shirt, brushing along his collar bone and down to the patch of exposed chest hair. I heard him groan again and knew I was at least doing something right.

Our tongues danced against each other, our heads shifting position as we explored new angles of our kiss. I couldn't control the sighs and moans coming from somewhere deep within me. It felt so good, so right, kissing Sean like this. I slid the hand that was on his chest back to around his neck and pulled myself close to him. He had said to do what feels good, what feels natural, and at the moment, all I wanted was to be pressed up against him.

I fought to keep contact as Sean pulled away once again. Both of his hands cradled my face as he dropped another crushing kiss to my swollen lips. At the last second he sucked my lower lip between his, but released it before I could really react.

"Damn, girl," he grinned, pressing his forehead to mine. "You are a fast learner."

I giggled and moved to kiss him again. Now that I knew what it was like, I didn't want to stop. I didn't know if it was kissing in general or if it was Sean, but there was a part of me that just didn't want to let go of him. I pouted, holding back a whine as he gently pushed me back and leaned away from me, dropping his hands to his lap. I worked to steady my breathing; he appeared to be doing the same thing.

He finally looked back at me, almost looking guilty. "You okay?"

Was I okay? I was way beyond okay! I'd just had my first kiss, and it was absolutely, wonderfully toe-curling amazing. "Yeah. I'm okay," I answered. "I'll admit, I certainly didn't expect that...with you..." I looked down at the design on my bedspread before looking back up at him through my eyelashes. "Was I...okay?"

Sean scoffed a little and smiled, "Yeah...you, uh...you catch on quick. That was...that was good." I could swear there was the tiniest trace of blush on his cheeks.

"Can we...not tell my dad about this?" I asked. I wasn't planning on telling anyone about this, to be honest, but especially not my dad.

Sean nodded with a slight grimace, "Yeah...I think that'd probably be best." He was starting to look really uncomfortable staying in my room.

I knew he wanted to leave, and I wanted to talk to him about what we'd just done, though the shyness in me was starting to take over. I swallowed it down and blurted out, "I really liked kissing you, Sean. Can we...can we do it again? Sometime?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," he said, shaking his head. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes at his response. A look of concern crossed his face as he noticed my eyes starting to water. He rested his arm around my shoulders, "Hey...hey it's not you. Well, it's you, but it's not what you think." He shifted off of the bed and squatted low, looking up at me, taking both of my hands in his. "I think you're great, okay? Any guy would be lucky to get to kiss you. But I think you'd be a lot better off with someone closer to your own age."

I nodded, "I know. You're right. Thank you for...this."

Sean smirked, "I'd say 'any time,' but that would kind of go against what I just said. Instead, I'll say it was my pleasure." He brought one of my hands up and kissed between two of my knuckles. "Come on. Let's go watch the game. We're totally whooping Chicago's ass," he grinned.

"Okay," I said softly. "I'll be there in a minute."

He stood up and walked over to the door. He was about to step into the hallway when he looked over his shoulder at me. "Hey, you know if you ever have a problem, you can come talk to me, right? This...what just happened...doesn't change that."

"I know, Sean," I said, trying not to sound as disappointed as I was really feeling. "Thanks."

He looked at me a moment longer before taking a deep breath and exhaling it, nodded at me and walked back down the hallway.

This is not the end...I promise. I wanna draw this out a little, have some fun with it. Hope you enjoyed it!