Chapter 1:

Okay Sam, you can do this. She reached her hand up to knock on the door.

"Come in," a familiar voice said beyond the barrier. She entered, trying to look confident. "Carter! What brings you to my office on this exciting afternoon?" He smirked at her facetiously.

"Sir, I.. it's about tomorrow's mission." He scribbled something down on the paper in front of him and looked up at her.

"Yes? Is something wrong?" He raised an eyebrow.

"It's just that... I can't go." She played with her fingers, revealing her nervousness.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"I have an important doctor's appointment." She started to grow red.

"You were cleared for the mission." He was definitely suspicious.

"It's personal." She was completely blushed.

"Okay.. well, unless you tell me why it's so important that you miss your mission for it, I see no reason to make an exception." He was playing hard.

"Sir, Dr. Brightman believes that I might not have much more time to have children..if I can at all. My appointment is with a fertility doctor." She couldn't even look him in the eye anymore.

"Kids?" He studied her face. "Does Petey boy know about this?"

"Sir, I broke up with Pete." She held up her hand, showing her empty ring finger.

"Oh." She looked into his eyes and caught a glimpse of emotion before he applied his mask. "Well, I suppose I can send Danny and Teal'c without you. It's not that important anyways."

"Thank you, sir." She nodded and began to walk out.

"Carter?" She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him. "I'm sorry things didn't work out with the cop." He looked sincere, but was filled with a feeling he couldn't put into words.

"It's okay, Sir." She gave him a crooked smile before grabbing her things and heading home.

xoXoxoXox

She sat in the room waiting for the results, her knees shaking. Why was she so nervous? It wasn't until her father passed away that she really thought about having kids. It was something that she always wanted, but she always pushed it to the back of her priorities. Now, she was nearing forty faster than she hoped for and the chances that her reproductive system wasn't compromised by all of her work over the years was slim to none. Still, she clung onto the dream that she might be able to have kids with the one man who had once cared about her, a lot more than he was supposed to.

A knock came at the door and she bolted from her seat, standing up as Dr. Alice Skinner entered.

"You may want to sit down, Colonel." The brunette forced a movement of her lips. "I got your results back, and they weren't as good as I had hoped for."

Sam felt a tear start to build as the small amount of hope that coursed through her soul threatened to fall to pieces at her feet.

"Hey," She felt the young doctor reach for her hand. "Just because I said that...doesn't mean that there's no hope." Alice forced a smile at Sam. "I was only able to find two viable eggs left in your ovaries. That means, of course, that there are only two chances left for you to have children. I'm worried that the unfertilized eggs won't last long, so I recommend having them fertilized as soon as possible."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "So, what you're saying is that I should go to a sperm bank?"

"Well, not exactly. See, the sperm in banks are frozen. When I say as soon as possible, I mean within the next three days. I'm not sure how much longer they can survive after that. In order for them to be fertilized that soon, the sperm needs to be fresh."

"How on Earth am I going to do that?" Sam frowned.

"I know it sounds a little scary, but it might not be the worst thing to ask someone close to you to donate their sperm. Otherwise, we do occasionally have men donate live sperm for immediate use. I don't know if it will happen within the next three days, however."

Sam felt nauseated. There was no way that she could ask Daniel or Teal'c to do this for her. Daniel was like a brother to her, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to mess with carrying the baby of a Jaffa. The only man that she would even consider asking, though she could never work up the nerve, she couldn't have a relationship with. She decided that the best thing to do would be to drown out those thoughts in the lab, and hope for a call that a donation was waiting for her.

xoXoxoXox

She didn't even notice when he walked into her lab.

"How was the appointment, Carter?" He asked from across the room. She was startled and ended up throwing her instrument to the floor. "That bad?"

"Sorry, Sir. I didn't hear you come in." She tried to avoid the subject.

"So..." He walked closer to her, and she could smell him. She felt her eyes start to well up with anxiety. He saw the shift in demeanor and bent down to meet her at eye level. "Carter.. what happened?"

She looked into his eyes and saw the same feeling that she knew was dangerously reflecting in hers. Her walls broke, and the floodgates opened. Despite the cameras, she fell into his arms. He openly held her, the sobs seeping into his shirt. She dared to look up, and saw the desperation in his eyes.

"Sir..I'm s.."

"Carter, there's no apology that needs to be given." He gave her a lopsided smile and brushed her tear-soaked hair away from her cheeks. His walls were down too. That was their moment, but neither of them took it. Seconds later, the klaxons interrupted the looks that were radiating between them. Jack reluctantly arose from his seated position and ran to the control room. Sam couldn't bring herself to leave the lab. She was stuck within that moment, regretting her lack of action.

xoXoxoXox

"Incoming traveler, Sir. It's SG-1." Walter announced, as always.

"Open the iris." Jack commanded. He half-expected to see two of his best friends walk through injured or ill, but they were just fine. He rushed to the gate room to greet them.

"Jack." Daniel smiled and ran down the ramp toward his friend. "How's Sam? Teal'c and I have been worried."

"She's.. a little rough. I think she was going to tell me about it, but then you guys came." Jack's face was filled with disappointment.

"Why don't we all have dinner at your place or something.. after the briefing? It'd probably be good to talk to her about it outside of here." Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and blinked at Jack.

"You know, Spacemonkey, that's actually not a bad idea." Jack gave his friend a wink and turned to grab his things before the briefing. "See you in thirty."

After heading to his office, he stopped in Sam's lab. "Hey." He gave her that grin again. "Danny and Teal'c are back okay."

"I'm glad." She didn't even look up from her project. She was so disappointed in herself.

"Listen, we're going to have dinner at my place..and I'd like to cook you some steak." He gave her a nervous smile.

"When?" She finally looked up at him.

"After the briefing." He cocked his head sideways, reminding her of a golden retriever.

"Okay." She smiled, which meant that he succeeded.

xoXoxoXox

She pulled into his driveway and sighed. She was still disappointed at herself for not taking the moment she was given. She knocked on the door and opened it to find her friends already sitting on the couch and laughing. Despite her mood, this made her smile.

They all ate and shared funny memories, but Sam continued to have the thoughts of her day in the front her mind. Finally, after dinner, she was able to explain what happened. She explained that if she were to acquire the sperm, she would resign from the Air Force. She would stay on as a scientist, but there's no way that she could risk her life by going through the gate with children on Earth.

They all looked disappointed by the news.

"This is really what you want?" Daniel wanted to make sure that she was aware of her decision.

"I've always wanted kids, and the idea of not being able to have them made me realize how much I really do." She was started to tear up, and they all surrounded her. Daniel was the only one who could bring himself to say anything right away.

"Sam, it'll all be okay. It will all work out." He hugged her.

"I hope so." She wiped her tears. Jack wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, but this wasn't the time or the place.

"Indeed." Teal'c simply replied. Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to think of words of comfort.

"You'll make a great mom, Carter." He smiled in her direction. These simple words affected her more than anyone else's, for more reasons than one. Their eyes met and although tears were glistening, her eyes smiled at his. She wished they could be alone at that moment. She would tell him everything. She would tell him she still cared too much, that she still loved him. The intense gaze continued between the two, and their friends began to feel awkward.

Daniel started to grab Teal'c and leave the room, but Sam noticed and held up a hand.

"I'm a little tired. I should get going."

"Are you sure?" Daniel raised an eyebrow and looked toward Jack, who was clearly disappointed by this.

"Yeah, thanks for a great night. I don't know what I'd do without friends like you guys." She gave them each a hug. Her hug with Jack lingered a little loo long, as always. Their eyes danced again as she left. Jack sat on the couch and put his head in his hands.

"Jack.." Daniel sat down next to his friend. "You have to do it."

"Do what?" He mumbled into his hands.

"You have to go to that hospital and donate your sperm tomorrow." Jack's head snapped up.

"Are you insane? Didn't you hear what she just said? We're friends." His eyes were hurt.

"Well you are, aren't you? It's not like you've tried to be anything else. I'm not stupid Jack, I know how you feel about her. The thought of her having kids by anyone else, no matter how it's done, would kill you." Jack stood up and turned his back.

"We can't. There are regulations, remember? That's why your idea would never work. Even though it wouldn't be done the 'old-fashioned way', they'll find some way to court marshal us.."

"Since when have you followed the rules, Jack? And besides.. you wouldn't have to tell anyone."

"Any input, T?" Jack gestured toward Teal'c.

"I agree with Daniel Jackson. I believe that you would be eternally unhappy if Colonel Carter's ovum were fertilized by another."

"Really T? What is wrong with you two?" He rolled his eyes.

"Just think about it Jack. I know you'll do the right thing.