A/N: This chapter is another one based on a song, but this time it's a song from Elizabeth Smart and I'm going to tell you about her on the bottom of the story again ^^
So enjoy :D

Beta'd by the great thekezzasaurus again!

In Cas' six month being human and living in the bunker with them he managed to set himself on fire trying to cook and nearly set the bunker on fire because he fell asleep to candle light when he had a headache and couldn't stand the harsh artificial light.

So who can blame Dean for worrying over him?

So whenever Cas seemed to be bothered by anything Dean would go to him and tell him that he could always talk to him (in a total un-chick-flicky way, thank you very much.)

Luckily it didn't happen all that often, but when it did Cas would always decline his offer and would ask for a cup of tea instead. With his steaming beverage he would lock himself in his room and would only come out to use the bathroom or to get more tea.

This would continue on for hours until his fingers were bleeding from all the frantic playing or until he became so hungry that he couldn't focus on his playing anymore.

And Dean would always make him cheeseburgers and fries then and Cas would always be the happiest person afterwards.

But Dean just couldn't stop worrying about Castiel - especially now that he was human and vulnerable - even if Cas tried to assure him that he was perfectly capable of looking after himself.

And Dean tried to believe him, he really did, but he would still find himself outside of Cas' room in the middle of the night when he thought he heard him having a nightmare. Always unbeknownst to Cas.

Castiel woke up with a start sitting bolt upright in bed. He was breathing heavily and clutching his chest. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was.

Taking a few deep breaths he turned his bedside lamp on and swung his legs from the bed. Holding his head in his hands he remained in this position for a while, still trying to calm himself down and remember that he was safe. That no one could hurt him here with Dean in the next room and Kevin and Sam just down the corridor.

After what felt like forever Cas was finally calm enough and he lifted his head and glanced around the room. Where was his freaking guitar? He needed to play a little.

Sighing he stood up and grabbed his guitar - his most precious possession - and sat down right there on the floor. He started to play a few chords - playing one song then jumping to another only to go back to play the previous song again.

It could have been hours for all Cas knew until he felt relaxed enough to grab his secret notebook and skim through it searching for a special song.

'Where is it? Where?' Cas thought turning page after page. 'It must be somewhere-'

Castiel lay the book down in front of him and studied the two pages for some time. Nodding to himself he started to play.

This song was one of the many songs he had written after he had a nightmare about Metatron stealing his grace or Naomi forcing him to kill a thousand Deans.

Sometimes he did dream about Dean leaving him behind and telling him that he was nothing but a waste of space and that he didn't deserve Dean's company. That he wasn't even worth the air he breathed.

Those dreams where by far the worst.

And tonight he had one of those nightmares again so he did what he always did after he had one of those. He either went into the kitchen to go grab a beer or a glass of whiskey - which helped him to fall back asleep but gave him a hell of a hangover the next day (and on one occasion a speech from Sam on how that was so not the right way to cope with things) - or he played this one particular song, pouring all of his feelings for Dean into it.

He took a deep breath before he started singing.

"Hold me close and never let me go, please
tell me all the things that I should know, please
I used to shine so bright, I lit the night,
I was the light in every midnight sky"

Castiel slowly closed his eyes.

"Hold me close and tell me not to fear, please
tell me all the things I want to hear, please
I used to have such wings, I used to sing
I was the ring on planets in other universes somewhere other than here"

Shifting a little he never stopped playing. He thought about Dean, how he might react if he ever heard one of his songs about him. Would he freak out? Or would he tell Cas that he felt the same way, always has, just like him?

"I was a star, I fell so far, I did it all for you
I gave my grace, I gave my face, I did it all for you
all for you, all for you now, all for you
so teach me how to be someone like you, please
I am so lost so tell me what to do, please
I used to know my part, knew where to start
but now my heart is empty
oh fill it, please"

Cas could feel the tears burning behind his eyes and he was aware of the fact that his voice wavered a bit but he wanted to sing the song to the end no matter what.

"I was a star, I fell so far, I did it all for you
I gave my grace, I gave my face, I did it all for you
all for you, all for you now, all for you
so don't pretend that I'm the same as I once was
just hold me a little bit tighter now and kiss me because"

By now the tears that had threatened to spill earlier were flowing freely and his voice sounded totally wrecked. But he still pushed on and focused so solely on singing the song that he didn't even register the door opening or the footsteps coming closer and closer.

"I was a star, I fell so far, I did it all for you
I gave my grace, I gave my face, I did it all for you
all for you, all for you now, all for you
I was a star, I fell so far, I did it all for you
I gave my grace, I gave my face, I did it all for you
all for you, all for you now, all for you
all for you"

Suddenly there were arms around his waist and warm breath on his neck. Castiel startled so hard that he nearly threw his guitar away and his heart was hammering against his ribcage.

Slowly turning his head Castiel came face to face with none other than Dean.

A/N: Elizabeth Smart.
She's an extremely talented girl and a really nice person and she also gave me the permission to use her lyrics (: I absolutely fell in love with her voice and her songs are so touching that some of them even make me cry after listening to them for who-knows-how-many times. And I can never get them out of my head ;)
You can find her on soundcloud: elizabethjeansmart and the song is called 'Hold Me Close (Castiel's Lament)' and you can also find it on soundcloud!

Reviews are always welcomed and loved :D