DEEP BREATHS EVERYONE. HEE HOO HEE HOO. PREGNANT LADY GIVING BIRTH BREATHS. WHY, YOU ASK? BECAUSE THE FINAL FREAKIN CHAPTER THAT TOOK A MILLION JILLION KABILLION YEARS TO WRITE HAS BEEN FINISHED AND IS NOW BEING PUBLISHED FOR YOUR EDIFICATION. BOW BEFORE ME, AND KNOW THAT I AM YOUR GOD. GODDESS. ENTITIY. THINGY. IRRELEVANT. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Dedicated! to Miyoko-tan! Special thanks! to treefox, two Guests, Kira BookRaven (love you girl), Windeen (huffah for Windeen), FrozenFireLight (Lordy your name is JUST TOO COOL), Elanna M, narusaku143, Silver, and finally, animegirl73! Lots of huffahs for you all! (I don't know how many of you have read This Lullaby but OHMYGOD Dexter.)

So you guys! This is the LAST chapter! (TToTT) I love you guys! Any reviews are still super appreciated and loved and treasured (hoo boy real creepy just there) although there won't be anymore dedications or special thanks, so don't hurgle on my parade (It's a word – the Urban Dicitonary knows) and you HAVE HAVE HAVE to at least favorite and follow me! Okay?!

OKAY THEN! WE'RE GONNA GET RIGHT INTO IT WITH A LITTLE KAZUMA ACTION HERE!

I regretted leaving her behind as soon as I was alone. Why hadn't I fought for her? Wasn't she the one I wanted? How could I ignore her like that? The fingers of my injured hand clenched into a fist, sending searing pain up my arm.

I wasn't able to fight for Tsui-Ling. I had been too weak. This was a different kind of fight, for a different kind of person.

Was I still too weak?

I watched the waves crash against the unforgiving rocks as seagulls dove for their dinner. I sat there, on the edge of a cliff, feeling the wind slide through my hair, trying to comfort me. It was comfort I didn't deserve. Just like I hadn't done anything to deserve the world I had been given, and yet I still threw it away like it was worthless. My bitter laugh was too soft to be heard over the roaring waves.

Weak. After all this time, I was still so weak.

I don't know how long I sat there. But eventually, I got up and went back to the hotel. All my stuff was stacked neatly next to the door. I only sighed and stuffed the loose clothes into my suitcase. On my way out, the bald guy glared at me.

I chose a new hotel at the edge of the town, nearer to the Kannagi estate. It was stupid, of course, but I did it all the same. Maybe I would see her one day and I could explain. But the next day, I was called away on a job, and more came up along the way. As it was, I ended up spending the better part of two weeks out in the countryside. My hand still wasn't fully healed when I finally stepped back into my hotel room to shower and get some sleep.

"Kazuma," the head of the Kannagi clan said from the couch. I crossed my arms.

"Sir. What can I do for you?" He leaned forward, more serious than I had ever seen him before.

"You can find my daughter."

When my mental meltdown had run its course, and I was able to speak without inserting a plethora of swear words at random intervals, I sat across from Ayano's father. "Please explain the situation, sir." He spread his hands despairingly.

"It's just as I said. I need you to find Ayano, because she's missing." My fingernails dug into my leg through my jeans.

"When did she disappear?"

"About two weeks ago, the day after she brought you home with a burned hand. No one has seen her since that morning." I pushed down the growl building in my throat. This was no time for anger.

I nodded. "Fine. Any clues?" His stern expression turned grim.

"A maid said she let in a dark-haired boy who claimed he was a friend of Ayano's." Now I did growl, overwhelmed by fury. That bastard.

"Kazuto." Ayano's father blinked.

"I suppose so. She never metioned him, though." It didn't matter. I knew, from the very bottom of my gut, that he had taken Ayano. He had kidnapped her, and I had let him. I had let him take her away to God-knows-where to do God-knows-what to her. The very thought made wind whip through the room, shredding curtains and tossing pillows everywhere. With a massive effort of will, I managed to calm down before I started a tornado. Focus on getting her out. Make sure she's safe before you tear that asshole to pieces.

I stood, an idea of where to start already in mind. "Thanks, old man. Appreciate it."

"Your payment?" he called after me just as I reached the door.

"Keep it," I replied, slamming the door behind me.

AYANO

Today is the fifteenth day that I have been stuck in this tower. I'm keeping a tally on the wall behind a painting.

"Ayano!" Kazuto shouts from somewhere downstairs. I shrink a little. I'm hiding from him today – he seems moody. He gets violent on days like these. But then he shouts again, and I can't afford to hide any longer. I get up from my spot in the corner and make my way downstairs carefully, where Kazuto is waiting. "You're slow," he complains. I lower my chin a little and nod.

"Sorry," I whisper. Loud noises make him angry. Unless he's the one making loud noises. His cold hand caresses my jaw, and I try not to flinch. I can't stop the shiver that runs down my spine when he leans in close until our noses are almost touching.

"Doesn't this make you mad, Ayano?" Something flickers inside me, something old and powerful. Be angry. How dare he treat you, Ayano Kannagi, this way? Feel the anger burning inside of you. Seize that fire.

"No, sir," I reply, still whispering. "I'm not angry." He lets go of me, disappointment in his blue eyes.

"I see." He turns away, and for a moment I think I am safe, but then he whirls back around. Now there is something feral and frightening lighting his eyes. "What happened to the lively girl I watched destroy anything that got in her way? Why don't you get angry anymore?" I don't say anything, listening silently to the flicker urge me on. A ringing sound and the sting of flesh on flesh registers, and I realize he just slapped me. "You're not Ayano anymore," Kazuto sneers. "You are nothing now." I hold a hand to my burning cheek, and wish more than anything I could lunge forward and tackle him to the ground as he storms away from me. I hate him, with a passion that is all too familiar.

Let your anger guide you. Let it be the blade you use to crush your enemies.

Not safe, the sane part of my mind murmurs. He will hurt you again.

The argument rages on as I climb the steps to my room wearily and settle on the balcony to watch the stars come out. My mind always quiets when I watch the stars, no matter how loud the voices were screaming. I don't see Kazuma's face, or relive moments we spent together. I don't remind myself that Kazuto is downstairs, and could kill me anytime he wants, or that I'm going to be stuck in this tower for the rest of my life, however short it may end up being. I don't have to comtemplate that word.

Anger.

The stars are bright tonight, and they soothe me into an open-eyed doze. The moon winks at me, and the waves are still. This is the peace I long for. A breath of wind caresses my cheek, and I wake up enough to focus my gaze. I look for familiar shapes and constellations in the stars, and make up new ones. I notice a cluster in the shape of a flame.

You aren't Ayano anymore.

I shake my head. No. This is wrong. I don't hear his voice when I'm out here.

You are nothing.

What am I? I don't feel things anymore, not really. I feel fear, a fear of being hurt. I suppose that makes me human. But I don't feel sadness, or happiness, or even true love. What I imagine with Kazuma is simply a way for my mind to escape its trauma. A wish for a past love. A wish to feel real.

I am a hollow shell, a fragmented image of the woman Ayano Kannagi was. I am a poor imitation, a painting of a vibrant landscape done in black and white. I am faded, and battered, and broken.

I am a ghost.

The stars aren't beautiful anymore. They are cold, and they frown down at me. They don't comfort me anymore.

I don't notice the wind, freezing on my bare skin, or the wild ocean far below. I don't hear the shouts or feel the floor shaking beneath me. The sound of the door slamming open escapes me. But somehow, every word is crystal-clear when Kazuma says, "Ayano, we have to go."

Seeing him again, the thought that my love was pretend is preposterous. I fling myself into his arms without a second thought, praying this moment isn't a dream. I would kill myself for sure if my dreams begin such torture. "Ayano?" he asks, and I want to laugh at how beautiful his voice is after two weeks of isolation. "Are you okay?" I nod, but the tears are already fleeing down my cheeks, betraying me. I'm not okay. Two weeks locked up with a maniac has not made me okay. Being separated from Kazuma for two weeks with no hope of seeing him again has not made me okay. But holding him, feeling how real and solid and there he is, I am a little bit better.

We pull apart, and it is only now that I can see why he was holding me so loosely. His forehead is bleeding, and his cheek is already starting to bruise. His shoulder is crooked, and his arm is hanging at an awkward angle. Clearly, he's been fighting. And judging by the swearing getting closer by the second, he has been fighting Kazuto.

Die.

Rage rips through me, hot and fluid. That bastard did this. He hurt Kazuma. He ruined everything before I had to a chance to say 'I love you.' If I was a ghost of myself, then he was the one who had made me this way. He was the one who had shattered me.

Kazuma steps back, and I realize flames are swirling around my body, gold and blue. "Ayano," he says. "Calm down. I'm not dead. They're not major injuries."

Die.

"Ayano." I walk toward the door. Even Kazuma can't tame my rage at this point. He didn't feel the slice of the knife, or see his blood fill the world and think he was dead. He didn't hear the insane laughter that followed, or taste iron when he coughed. He didn't smell his own vomit coating the floor.

He hadn't seen Kazuto hurt the one he loved more than existence.

"KAZUMA!" Kazuto roared from the stairs. I could hear his labored breathing, his obvious pain. I smirked, picturing Kazuma beating him up. I stood in the doorway and waited, until finally Kazuto's blond hair flickered into view. Launching myself from the top step, I flew down the winding staircase and slammed my shoulder into his abdomen, sending us both into the wall and tumbling down the steps to the bottom. He coughed, and blood spilled from his lips. His arm was broken, and probably his shoulderblade too, judging from the horrifying crack it had made.

But when his eyes met mine, they were overflowing with sick joy. "Finally," he whispered. "This is what I wanted to see. This is what I knew you could become, Ayano." I stared at him, frozen with shock. A blur blew past me and collided violently with Kazuto's body. It was Kazuma, eyes flashing, breathing hard.

"Don't say her name," he whispered, every word sharper than any knife Kazuto owned. "Don't you ever say her name." His snarl twisted into something hard and strange. "She will never be like you. She is stronger than you could ever imagine."

The scars on my skin itched, and I dug my fingers into my palms to keep from scratching them.

Stronger. I am stronger.

I laughed, feeling the warmth that had left for so long. I had been wrong when I blamed my weakness on Kazuto – it was my fault. I let myself forget my strength. I allowed it to be taken away from me. In a way, he had been right – I wasn't Ayano Kannagi, drifting listlessly through life, waiting for someone else to decide when I would die. I wasn't me. The real me would have fought for everything she loved. She would have refused to accept a future she didn't control.

It didn't matter anymore. I would let it happen again.

I looked down at the men on the ground, one I loved more than anything and one I despised from the depths of my soul. Two men, with the same look in their eyes. They looked at me, and they saw the girl they had fallen in love with. I wished I could go back and change everything I had done wrong. I wished I could have seen Kazuto for what he was sooner – a lost boy who wanted the warmth of another. I wished I had worked up the courage to tell Kazuma that I loved him sooner – enough courage for those three little words.

I knelt to the floor beside the two. It was comic, really, the way Kazuma was still on top of Kazuto, both of them just staring at me. I closed my eyes and smiled. The stars were imprinted on the backs of my eyelids, and they laughed. "You know," I began, not sure what to say but knowing I should say something. "Not so long ago, I believed that love wasn't something within my reach."

KAZUMA

I can't really explain it, but when Ayano laughed after I jumped Kazuto, all I felt was relief. Because if she was laughing, that meant she wasn't broken so badly I could never get her back together. Maybe some pieces were crooked, or torn, or falling off, but I could fix all that. She still moved, and talked, and laughed. She was still alive.

When she sat next to the weird tangle of bodies that was Kazuto and I and closed her eyes, I wondered what the hell she was doing. I definitely didn't expect her to start talking about love.

"I was the sheltered daughter of the Kannagi clan, and I had two friends. I didn't know any boys my age, not any that I liked, anyway. And then Kazuma showed up, the talentless son I remembered only vaguely. He wasn't weak anymore, but he was missing something. I could almost see it, but never quite understand it. He didn't care about anything. Not his life, not anyone else's – not unless he was paid to." She broke into laughter, and sighed. "That's how I got to know him, really. He was paid to be my bodyguard, which still rubs me the wrong way. He saved me countless times, annoyed me more, and ended up going on a mindless rampage." I winced, remembering the unfortunate incident. "I had to beat some sense back into him, which was a satisfying experience. The reason for said rampage, however, was a little harder to take. He was still in love with a girl he had known when he was just a kid who had disappointed his entire family. And I never would've admitted this to myself or anyone else, but I hated it. How could I compete with a girl who had been everything to him?"

You don't have to, my mind whispered. I love you.

But she kept going. "I was in love with him by then, and I probably had been for a lot longer. I don't really remember anymore." There was a hint of sadness to her voice, and she tipped her chin down a little. "I tried everything, got everyone I could think of to talk to the idiot, and nothing worked. And then someone told me that I had to go talk to him. I was sure it wouldn't do a thing to help. Actually, I was worried he would get worse." The lines on her face slackened and then tightened, her expression changing too fast for me to decipher. "But finally, I couldn't take it anymore. Someone had to do something. So I went. It was sort of a disaster. I got mad, he got mad, we fought, I won. Long story short, we nearly killed each other. And maybe that was when I realized that it didn't matter if he was still caught up in this girl." I stiffened – was she trying to say she didn't love me anymore? "Because he was right there in front of me, living and breathing and walking through every day. As long as that was true, how could I hate a girl whose memory kept him going? Watching him and living alongside him was enough. It still is enough."

I considered that as it hung in the air between us. I didn't understand how she could stand to do nothing but watch and live. I wanted to be everything to Ayano, and I couldn't even imagine going back to being girl and bodyguard. It was impossible.

"I love Kazuma. And it's hard not to want to kill him sometimes, and I wish he weren't so manipulative, but I love that despite myself. I love it all, because without it I don't think he'd really be himself. So if you don't mind, Kazuma," she said, addressing me, "Will you go out with me?" My eyes practically left my skull. She was beet-red and she refused to meet my eyes, but she was sane. As far as I could tell, she was fine. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with her, actually, leaving with no explanation for her question. "Kazuma?" Ayano's voice drew my attention back to her face. "Are you alright?" I coughed.

"Yeah."

"So will you?"

Praying I wasn't just as red as she was, I girnned. "Of course, idiot." In true Ayano style, she gaped at me, sitting stock-still like that was the last answer she'd expected. "What? Were you hoping I'd say no?" I stood, releasing Kazuto, and held out my hand. She took it, frowning at me.

"I was not! I just figured that you'd say something weird or perverted. Because you're you." I wrapped my good arm around her shoulders and led her towards the door, laughing.

"But you love me anyway, don't you?" She glanced away, turning a fresh shade of red.

"Wait." I stopped, tensing, but Ayano froze completely. Obviously, the bastard's power over her hadn't faded entirely. I scowled, tightening my hold on her. "I just wanted to say... thanks. And I'm sorry. And that I hope you're happy." I would have spun to give him a piece of my mind, but Ayano was faster.

"Thank you, Kazuto. I hope you're happy one day, too." She lifted a hand to her face and I thought I saw a glimmer of something before she wiped it away. "Fall in love with someone who can give you everything they are, okay?" Without waiting, she grabbed my shoulder and we stepped outside, where dawn was just exploding on the horizon.

"Ready to go home?" I asked her, smiling at her. She smiled back.

"Any day now, slowpoke."

EPILOGUE

"Mama! Mama! Daddy says that one time you were a zombie!" I rolled my eyes and turned around to pick up my six-year-old daughter.

"Ruri, sweetie, Daddy is a liar. I'm a human, not a zombie." My husband dared to show his face in the kitchen, and I glared at him. "What are you telling her this time?" He raised his hands defensively.

"Hey, you kinda were. I mean, it was scary when I saw you at the tower. You seriously looked like a zombie." I laughed.

"Thanks, I'm so flattered."

"MOM! Sheele set fire to the carpet again!" my ten-year-old son shouted from the other room. I sighed, handing Ruri to Kazuma and leaving the kitchen. Akikazu was blowing useless gusts of wind around the room, trying to put out the fire. Sheele was frantically trying to recall her flames, but they were out of control. I herded the kids into the doorway and winked.

"Just watch." Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I held out my hands and concentrated. I could feel how the fire resisted me – no. I don't want to. Leave me alone. I smiled. Sure enough, these were Sheele's fire spirits. Slowly, I bent them to my will, forcing them to lift from the carpet and fizzle out. I opened my eyes and lowered my arms. "There!" I turned to smile brightly at the two, who were staring at me like I was the coolest thing they'd ever seen.

"Mom," Sheele stated, "That was awesome." I ruffled her brown hair, which was something she despised.

"I'll teach you. And also, I'll show you how to keep your flames from burning other things for the next time you fight with your brother. Okay?" She pushed off my hand, but smiled back at me.

"Thanks!" She walked out, probably to shut herself in her room. That left me with Akikazu, who was looking dejected.

"What's wrong?" He crossed his arms and glared at the floor.

"It's not fair. Dad never offers to teach me cool stuff like that. I don't get to be the heir of a cool weapon, either. I can't even put out a stupid fire." I looked at him for a second, watching him fluctuate between annoyed and disappointed. Eventually, I leaned in and beckoned him closer. He came curiously.

"There's a reason your dad won't teach you, and it doesn't have to do with you," I whispered. Akikazu nodded, clearly interested. He leaned in closer. "It's because he's afraid you'll be better than him and beat him up when you get older." The bony side of someone's hand landed with a thunk on my head, followed by a much smaller, softer hand.

"That is all wrong. Ayano, what are you telling our children?" I straightened with a grin. Kazuma stood next to me, Ruri balanced on his hip.

"It's true, though, Kazuma. You and your dad were the same way, always fighting. Don't you remember that disastrous hot springs trip where I had to patch up all your wounds?" He snorted, and Ruri copied him. That habit of hers was starting to worry me.

"Please. He was way worse than I was. I gave him at least twice as much damage as he gave me."

"Twice as much?" Akikazu exclaimed. Kazuma nodded, obviously pleased with himself. "Then you have to teach me, Dad!" He started to nod again, but stopped mid-bob.

"Wait, what? No can do, Aki."

"Why not?" I decided to have a little fun with this.

"Yeah, Kazuma, why not?" He scowled at me and put Ruri down. She wandered off, and I made a mental note to check on her when the argument was done.

"Because..." He floundered for a second. "Because... you know... I'm super busy. Got stuff to do."

"Kazuma, you spend half the day hanging around the house and playing with Ruri. You are the very definition of free."

"Well, I'm also..." I eyed him shrewdly, deciding on his weakest point.

"Actually, Aki, I think we should figure a way for me to teach you after all." The boys stared at me in shock.

"Why?" they asked in unison. I had to hold back a laugh.

"Sweetie, your dad is great, but... He's really not much of a teacher. I don't think you'd learn anything from him." Kazuma flared up in defense of his teaching skills. Bingo.

"I am a great teacher! I can teach him! Let's get started right now, Aki." Our son beamed and followed him out the door, practically glowing with excitement. I shook my head with a little laugh and went back to the kitchen, where Ruri waited for me.

"Mama, I'm hungry." I picked her up and set her on the counter by the sink.

"Food's almost ready, Ruri. A little longer, okay?" She nodded and started playing with a rubberband she found. I turned back to the dinner I had been preparing.

Years later, Kazuma and I were adults, married with three kids. But nothing had changed since our days of flirting and going out to kill youma. Nothing had been changed by the days I spent in the tower with Kazuto. We still had everything that mattered, and new things we hadn't had as teens. Every night, we slept in the same bed, in the same room, in the same house. Every night, I whispered I love you and Kazuma made me promise to stay with him. I did, because I would, until the day I died. I had sworn to myself on our wedding day that I wouldn't let Kazuma die first. I couldn't survive a minute, a second when I was alive and Kazuma wasn't. We were intertwined, connected in a million different places, so twisted together you could never unravel us in a hundred years.

Listening to Kazuma shout instructions and encouragement to Aki outside, and watching Ruri snap the rubberband a little too hard and crawl to me, wailing, and knowing that if I went upstairs and slipped into Sheele's room I would find her typing away on her laptop, I felt deep in my soul that this was the happiness I had been waiting for ever since I was a little girl, beating up a defenseless boy for an ancient family relic. I had found the world I had been searching for.

Oh my God, I cannot tell you how relieved I am to be finished. This was bothering me, so now this is good. So, beloved, devoted readers, there are three things you must do before you may leave this page. Favorite. Follow. Review. These are the fundamentals of being a beloved readers, and you must abide by them at all times. It's not hard, I promise. Anything you write is great, so I'd love to hear your reviews.

Remember, I love you guys. I'mma miss you all, but feel free to PM me. I'll do my best to answer any questions from the comments by PM, so if you want an answer to something that's already been posted, let me know. Gah, I don't know what to say. I hope you enjoyed! You're all luvs. Love you. Bye.

Giselle