A/N: I do not own Adventure Time. This is just one of those crazy concepts I came up with when I could not get to sleep. I thought it would be a cute story. All characters are in human form, but they still have all their powers/abilities. Well I hope you enjoy.
The Dating Game
Chapter 1: Q&A
A single spotlight shines in the middle of the stage. A debonair man comes out in a soft purple tailored suit. Silence rolls across the room in anticipation of the words that will be crossing the gentleman's mouth.
"Good evening everyone and welcome to the Dating Game. I am your host Luke Sirus Pennington or as you all know me, LSP. Tonight we are here to see if we can make a love connection for AAA's most eligible bachelorette, Fionna."
Applauds roll across the room as the lights finally turn on revealing the studio audience.
"We have a wonderful crowd tonight I can see people from all across the kingdoms of AAA. Turtle prince I see you out there" he said delivering a quick wink.
"Now without further delay please give a warm welcome for Fionna." He places out his hand as the spotlight shoots over to the left of the stage. Fionna comes out timidly waving to the crowd. The applauses grew into a loud frenzy by the appearance of AAA's greatest warrior. With the overwhelming support she gained a little confidence walking over to LSP, blowing kisses to the crowd and giving her best pageant wave.
LSP moved over to her giving her a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. He then walks her over to her seat and gives a cunning smile.
Fionna is sitting in a chair with a large partition to her right not allowing her to see what is on the other side of the stage. She twiddles her thumbs nervously and waits for the host to speak.
"Fionna it is great to see you. Are you excited?"
"Sorta, I have to admit LSP, I am a little nervous."
"You shouldn't be. You have three of AAA's most eligible bachelors on the other side of this wall and they are waiting to meet you."
Fionna finally felt a bit of courage raise up in her gut, "OK, LSP I am ready. I hope they are ready for me."
Oooo's and Aaaaa's came from the crowd as the audience drank in everything that was going on before them.
"Mmmmm, feisty. They will like that. So let me explain how the dating game works. You will be asking each bachelor 2 questions. After the questioning is done you get to go out on a date with each guy. After your date, you will come back and eliminate one of the bachelors and go out on a date with the two remaining fellas. However for the second date, (are you ready for this) you will have to go out with both bachelors at the same time. They will claw and fight for your attention and then you will come back on the show and decide who your knight in shining armor will be. Any questions?"
"Nope sounds like fun to me. Let's get started."
"That's what I like to hear. So our bachelors can get to know you, tell us a little about yourself."
"Well I live with my sister Cake. She has taken care of me since I was 13. I am 25 years old and I graduated from Grassland University last year with a degree in criminal justice. I love all types of weapons, collecting them is one of my favorite hobbies. I have defended the land of Aaa for many years and it is what I love to do. Ummm, let's see, my favorite color is blue. I am kind of a tom boy. I am pretty easy going, but if you cross my path I will kick your butt."
"We've got a spirited one here. Well Fionna let's meet your eager young bachelors. Our first bachelor is the Prince of the flame kingdom. He likes long walks in the desert, extreme sports and… coin collecting?! Am I reading this right?" LSP looks down at the card squinting trying to determine if he had truly lost his mind.
"Yes damn it. I like old, rare coins. You gotta a problem with that?"
"Nope, I do not start trouble. When you look this good trouble finds you." LSP gave a wink to the audience and they all cheered, whistled and hollered.
"So give a warm welcome to Flame Prince." The crowd and Fionna clapped waiting to hear a little more from the hot headed prince.
"Hello Fionna. I can't wait to show you how awesome I am. These other jerks don't have a chance."
"Well, uh, thanks Flame Prince. I can't wait for our date?"
"Thank you Flame Prince. Egotistical much?" Loud laughter rolled over the crowd and even Fionna had to giggle.
"So anyway, on to bachelor number 2. He is the Prince of the Candy Kingdom. He loves to bake, perform scientific experiments and throw parties. We got a real party animal on our hands folks. Give it up for Prince Gumball." As with flame prince, Fionna and the crowd clapped and waited to hear from the next bachelor.
"Greetings my dear Fionna. You sound like a wonderful young lady. I feel that we will have a wonderful time on our date."
"ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz." LSP stood beside Fionna with his hands rested to his cheek with his eyes closed tight.
With a loud obnoxious yawn, he stretched and said "Oh I am sorry are you done. You kinda put me to sleep there buddy." Laughter again rang through the studio. LSP was working the crowd; they were like putty in his hands.
"Hi," Fionna could not think of anything she wanted to say to this guy but she felt she should be polite.
"Well I pray…" LSP fell to his knees, placing his hands together, "to glob that the next bachelor has a little more personality then that last one." He got up wiping away the imaginary dust before continuing on.
"Okay, bachelor number 3. He is the King of Vampires, heir to the Nightosphere, he plays guitar and is the lead singer in his band the "The Wrong Decisions", he enjoys darkness and is a bit of trickster. Hmm… this one sounds better already. Let's hear it for Marshall Lee the Vampire King." The crowd went wild, you would have thought the King of AAA had walked in the door.
"Hello bunny, I can't wait to wake up beside you in the morning. Oh and just so you know I like strawberry pancakes with a side of bacon." He gave a quick kiss to the air before the crowd lost it again.
LSP fell out in the floor grabbing his stomach not able to control his laughter. Even Fionna could not hold back her laughter. If this network wanted ratings Marshall Lee was definitely the one to give them.
After LSP finally composed himself and wiped the tears from his eyes he looked over to Fionna waiting for a response.
"Well for your information you will not have the pleasure of waking up next to me but for the record I would be so damn good you would be making me breakfast. Bacon pancakes sir, and I don't like to be kept waiting."
Ooo's and Aaaa's rumbled through the studio audience. "This will be fun," Marshall said right before LSP spoke again.
"Okay time for your questions. What do you want to know Fi?"
"This question is for all the bachelors. If you were a weapon which one would you be?
"I would be a flame thrower. Hot, deadly and I would make sure to get the job done." FP said with as much seduction as he could fit into that sentence.
"Nice, nice. What about you bachelor number 2?"
"I would be a sword, simple, efficient and precise. The fancier weapons tend to fizzle out a little early. Wouldn't you say flame prince?"
Flame Prince shot him an icy look, which is quite hard for the prince of flames.
Fionna laughed, "Well I would have to say we do not want the fun to end to early now do we? Good one bachelor 2"
"Okay number 3, what's your weapon?
"Hmmm… I would have to say my bare hands. They are strong enough to take down a bear but precise enough to find every sweet spot on your body. I do not need any toys to get the job done."
It was so quiet in the audience that you could hear the creaking of the studio equipment. Then just as quick as the silence had come so did the uproar of the crowd. Marshall was really getting the audience riled up.
LSP gave a quick glance to Fionna barely able to contain his composure.
"Oh Marshall you are quite the quick witted one aren't you?"
"You know it baby, but that is the only thing I am quick with, if you get my drift."
Fionna let out a hardy laugh, "Ok bachelor number 3, that's enough out of you.
"Okay Fionna one more question for our captivating bachelors."
Okay bachelor number 1, if you were stranded on a deserted island what three things would you take with you?"
"I would take gas, a lighter and a picture of you. If I had these things I would be able to survive until I was rescued.
"Yowza, can this dude be a bigger cheese ball or what?" LSP said while grabbing the bridge of his nose for comic effect.
Everyone laughed, even flame prince had to laugh at his over the top answer.
"Thank you bachelor number 1. Okay bachelor number 2, what is your nick name for your umm your boy loins.
"Really, you want to know that. Well I call them my ….nu…..bbud…
"What? We didn't get that pal, speak up" LSP yelled across the wall.
"I call them my nutty buddies okay."
"Are you for real?" LSP ran from one side of the stage to the other laughing and yelling to the top of his lungs. The crowd could not help but enjoy the comedic host's crazy antics.
Okay, Thank you, number 2. And thank your buddies for me as well."
The crowd let out a collective hoot.
"Okay bachelor number 3. Hmm I do not know what I should ask you."
"Don't worry, I got your answer. 8 inches."
Fionna rolled her eyes, "Dude I am going to kick you in your boys if you do not get yourself together"
"Okay, okay. Sorry bunny."
"Ok so what's your favorite color and why?"
"RED. It is the color of blood, it signifies intensity and that color symbolizes passion. It tends to get a bad rep, red seems to always be associated with negative things anger, fire, hatred, etc. Not many people are lucky enough to see what red really is. That's why it's my favorite color because in essence I am red."
For the first time in a while no one knew what to say. It was quiet, awkwardly quiet.
Fionna finally spoke up, "Thank you bachelor 3, I can't wait to get the chance to see the many shades of red."
"Well Fionna it looks like you have your work cut out for you. As you know the locations of your dates will be strictly up to your bachelors so we will all get a big surprise. Luckily when you go on your second date it will be the place of your choosing so you might want to start thinking of a location. Our cameras will follow you around until your dates are over. We will see you here next week for elimination."
"OK LSP, see you then. Thank you bachelors, I look forward to spending time with all of you"
The gentlemen gave a collective, "Good bye"
Fionna got up waving to the crowd as she made her departure. The lights went out and the stage went silent once more.
"Until next time folks, I am LSP and this is the Dating Game."
A/N/: I hope you liked it. Please Review.