Heart First

She wonders what would have happened it if hadn't been Cosima.

She had always gone head first. Head over heart, always.

She skipped dinner on the first night of second grade in order to spend the evening perfecting her homework assignment. She stood up her (super hot) prom date during junior year to study for an exam. She worked hard, fought for the grades she deserved, networked constantly, and pushed and pushed and pushed herself to be the best.

That's how she won her first major academic grant at the age of 18, how she graduated from university at the age of 20, and how she earned a position with one of the world's leading genetics and immunology experts at the age of 28. And that's how, at the age of 30, she was recruited as a researcher for a top secret human cloning trial. For the top secret human cloning trial.

She always put head over heart. She had never considered living any other way. What would have become of her if she hadn't been assigned to Cosima? It keeps her up at night.

Would she have done as she'd been told? Would she have gotten close to a human being, earned her trust, and then sabotaged her nightly? Poked and prodded, snubbed her basic human rights as she slept? Would she have abandoned all of her morals, every ethic she owned, in the name of science? If it had been Danielle Fournier instead of Cosima Niehaus, would there have been anything to stop her downward spiral?

It chills her to think of it. When she began, she wanted to be Aldous Leekie. Because she had no idea what that entailed, because she had been fooled, because she was naïve. She was willing, headstrong and driven, to do what ever it took to rise to the top, to become a great scientist.

A year ago, she would never have believed it. Second-grade Delphine would have laughed at the thought. High school Delphine would have scoffed at the prospect. Never would she have believed that she would throw her entire hard-earned career in the fire for the sake of one woman.

But, by fate or design, she was paired with Cosima. Cosima, who wears her heart on her sleeve. Cosima who is brave and tough, but endlessly kind. Cosima, who stands guard over her sisters, armed with test tubes and microscopes. Cosima who gave her a push, who turned her world upside down.

Cosima, who gave her the means to save herself from what she would have become.

Cosima, who taught her to go heart first. Heart over head, now, always.