The first visit, she froze and couldn't go on.

Off-white, ugly cream walls- little more than poorly painted cinder blocks- rose around Skye as she approached the cell: her target. But she couldn't do it, couldn't face him. She froze halfway down the hall, just out of sight of the caged man she'd helped put away.

Ward.

She wanted to talk with him. There were so many questions left unanswered by his betrayal, she just wanted some closure. And yet, she couldn't move forward. Couldn't take the last ten steps towards the bars and their captive. There were no other cells immediately around; it was a safety thing. Men like Ward were considered dangerous. Hell, five guards had offered to escort her over to his cell. She'd only refused because she believes (really believes) he wouldn't hurt her.

But all the same, her feet wouldn't carry her forward to his cell. She knew it was because she didn't want to see him this way- trapped inside a cage. Yes, he'd done bad things. Yes, he deserved it. But he's still Ward and some part of her couldn't shake that. Part of her still woke up some mornings and, for just a brief second, groaned about how many push-ups he was going to make her do that day.

So for the first visit, she just stood in the middle of the hallway for twenty minutes, out of sight, listening to the sounds of her former SO moving around his cell.

The second time she came back, she made it all the way to his cell.

He was seated inside when she stopped just beyond the bars, reading a tattered book the she vaguely recognized as Matterhorne. It looked identical to his copy, beaten and clearly well read. Likely frequently, too. A few other books were stacked around the cell as well- apparently he'd bribed someone into smuggling him things. It was no where near his original collection though.

"Come to see the caged monster?" Ward's bitter voice broke into her thoughts like a sledgehammer and, for a second, she forgot why she'd come. He was glaring at her over the top of his book, hurt and anger swirling with something else. Pain, maybe? Betrayal? "Come to see if I broke? Or are you here to pity me?"

She shook her head slowly, closing her eyes against his words. He was angry, even though he had no right to be. He'd betrayed them; they were the only ones with the right to be angry. "No. I came to ask why you did it. You never told me."

"You didn't want to know," reminded Ward with a scowl, rolling from his bunk and approaching the bars like a predator on the prowl. His eyes flashed, dangerous in the harsh light of the prison.

Skye didn't move, just watched silently as he approached her. Months ago, she might have backed away. Now? She just let him approach. Nothing he said at this point could be worse than anything he'd already said or done. "Well, now I do want to know and you owe me at least this much. Why did you join Hydra?"

Reaching the bars, the fingers of one hand curled around the hard metal as he stood there, staring at her. Any previous expression he'd been wearing had fallen away at her words, leaving him a blank slate and offering Skye no clue as to what he was thinking. It was eerie, seeing that blank, closed off look again. It had been so long since he'd given her that look, it stung a little now in the face of everything he'd done. Then again, she couldn't really talk; she'd betrayed the team too, just not as badly.

For a long moment, he didn't respond, didn't say a word or offer an explanation. He just stared at her with an unreadable expression; he was silent for so long, she thought he wasn't going to answer. Then, he leaned the full weight of his body against the hand wrapped around the bars and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Garrett." Those chocolate brown orbs rose to catch hers as his hand fell away, locking her under his stare. "I owed him everything. He gave me a chance, took me in. He turned me into a man, someone strong enough to protect the people who needed protecting."

His words made Skye momentarily see red. What about Fitz and Simmons? Didn't they need protecting? "And who were you protecting from Fitz and Simmons? They were your friends."

"Garrett," stated Ward quietly. His free hand tightened into a fist, like he wanted to punch someone or something. His eyes fell to the fist, brow furrowing like he couldn't figure out why he was clenching it. "Fitz fried Garrett; it nearly killed him."

"So you nearly killed them?" snapped Skye angrily, shaking her head. Ward's fist clenched further and Skye took a deep breath. No, anger wouldn't help. She needed to be calm, otherwise she wouldn't be able to think clearly. And if she couldn't think clearly, she couldn't ask the questions she needed to.

"Yes," growled Ward, lightly hitting the bars of his cell with the base of his clenched fist. "Because they tried to kill Garrett."

For a long moment, Skye stared at Ward as her mind ran through what he'd said. She already knew he'd dedicated himself to Garrett, but she couldn't figure out why. What had Garrett done to earn the devotion of a man like Ward? She refused to believe everything they'd seen on the Bus was a lie- that just wasn't possible. Besides, every good lie had a grain of truth. Of course, she could walk away right now. She owed Ward nothing at this point and everyone else had given up on him. Plus, he'd answered her question, what more could she really ask from him? Where all of her thoughts were heading would be painful for him, if her growing suspicions were correct. But she hadn't joined the Rising Tide to bury her head in the sand and not seek the full truth either. There was a lot to this story that made no sense, and she wanted to know the full thing.

"What did Garrett do to deserve your loyalty?" asked Skye quietly, shaking her head as she looked at her former teammate. "What could Garrett have possibly done to get you to give up your life?"

Again, Ward fell silent, like he couldn't find a way to explain his thoughts. His eyes fell as well, locking on some far-off point only he could see. When he spoke at last, it was the last words she'd ever expected. "He was my Coulson, Skye. The one who gave me a chance to grow and become more than I was."

"But it's more than that, Ward," argued Skye quietly. "I wouldn't blindly follow Coulson."

"Because Coulson didn't save you the way Garrett saved me," growled Ward, glaring at her. "I was nothing before Garrett found me and got me out of that juvenile hell."

Skye stared, wide-eyed at Ward. He'd been in juve? Ward had been locked up in juvenile hall? "Why were you in juve?"

Ward blinked at her hard, eyes wide with surprise. It was like he didn't expect her to ask such a simple question. And in that horrifying moment, she realized no one probably ever had. If anyone even knew he'd been in there in the first place (and that was a big if given Garrett had brought Ward in and done who-knew-what to ensure he qualified).

Pushing away, Ward trailed half-way across his tiny cell. He kept his back to her, his shoulders slumped but his fists clenched. The anger at whatever memory was boiling beneath his skin had him completely on edge in seconds. "Because I tried to kill my brother by burning my parent's house down."

Well, okay, that was definitely juve worthy, but Skye could understand why. She understood why he would do that. Hell, if she went though even a fraction of what Ward had hinted at, she might have lit something on fire, too. Of course, it's possible he lied to her about his past, but she somehow doubted everything was a lie. There were times she could see things in his eyes before, and that haunted look can't be faked. It didn't matter how good Ward was.

"You were angry," stated Skye quietly. "I can't exactly blame you. I'd be angry, too."

"Furious," whispered Ward. He twitched for a second, the only clue Skye had before Ward's fist collided with the wall. It happened so fast, she barely recognized the sound of his flesh striking cement. Blood streaked the wall as he pulled his fist away, a dark red smear across bland white.

"Ward?" whispered Skye in horror. Her eyes locked onto his fist and the blood dripping from his open knuckles.

Ward's eyes fell to his fist, staring at the blood like it was a foreign substance. But when he looked back up at her and again met her eyes, his entire demeanor changed. It was like everything he'd been feeling- the rage and resentment- disappeared, returning to the mocking sneer he began with. "You know, I'm surprised Coulson let his little pet project visit the animals."

The change in topic almost gave Skye proverbial whiplash. For a moment, she wasn't sure what to say. Her eyes strayed to the side as she tried to come up with a valid response. Truthfully though, Coulson-

"He doesn't know you're here," stated Ward quietly, his grin turning sharp at the realization. Okay, yes, she'd snuck away to see him. She wanted answers, damnit, and Coulson wouldn't have exactly given her permission. "Wow, Coulson's little protégé, sneaking around behind his back. I think I rubbed off on you a little, Skye."

"I'm not stabbing people in the back," countered Skye, huffing a bit as she folded her arms across her chest. Well, not anymore she wasn't. "Besides, I didn't lie about where I was going, I just didn't tell him."

"Semantics," dismissed Ward, still smirking. Was he trying to drive her away? That had to be it. He was trying to make her leave. But why? Why would he want to drive her away? "You're breaking the rules, Skye."

"There's no rule that says I can't talk to you," stated Skye in confusion, her brow furrowing a little. She didn't think it was possible, but could Ward actually think that was a rule?

"I thought it was an unspoken one," replied Ward with a shrug. "Traitors aren't worth the time and all that."

Shaking her head, Skye ignored the barb. He was trying to pick another fight and move further away from the matter of his history. She wasn't going to let him. Whatever had happened to him, she wanted to know. Part of her needed to understand how he could do this to them. Thinking briefly back over everything he'd said, something caught in her mind. Ward had said Garrett saved him from Juvie, but if he was in Juvie, that would mean... "Ward, how old were you when you met Garrett?"

"How old were you when you quit school?" countered Ward with a scowl, his reluctance to answer written across his face.

He wanted to play that way? Fine. She could play that game. "I was 17. You know, I can just look up when you were released from Juvie."

"Except you wiped my identity," reminded Ward with a smirk. "There's nothing for you to look up."

Skye couldn't help the laugh that escaped her throat. Seriously, what did he think she did? Did he think she was stupid? "Yeah, I erased your identity in the public sphere. And I backed up all the files on an encrypted hard drive. You don't erase anything online without backing it up first. Data is power."

The startled fish look that momentarily slid over Ward's face was almost the best thing she'd ever seen. It was only topped (secretly) by his smile. Not that anyone would ever know that. Nope, she'd never admit that in a million years. "What's wrong Ward? You look surprised."

Ward gulped a bit, like he wasn't sure what to say. He still looked like someone had slapped him. He opened his mouth a few times to speak but nothing came out and Skye could see the questions and fears flashing behind his eyes. When he did finally force out words, his voice was rock stable but his tone belied his fears. "Everything?"

"Anything I deleted, I backed up," stated Skye simply. "And anything I didn't delete or missed is still out there for me to dig up."

Again, Ward gulped hard. She could see definite fear settling in now, and it was more than a little concerning. What was out there that he was so afraid of her finding? "Why? Why keep that information?"

Taking a deep breath, Skye took the risk and stepped closer to the prison cell. "Information is power. But beyond that, I'd need the original files if I ever wanted to restore everything. That doesn't mean I can't read it." Her eyes met Ward's, calm but concerned. "Ward, what's in those files that you're so afraid of me knowing?"

Ward's mouth thinned into a line, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. "Fifteen, alright? I was fifteen when Garrett saved me."

His sudden willingness to share his history with Garrett nearly threw Skye for a complete loop. Whatever was in those files had to be bad for him to react like that. Seriously, what could be worse than what he'd already done? Then, his words struck her. Fifteen. Garrett had access to Ward since he was fifteen. That was a very long time for a psychopath to have access to anyone, much less a kid from a bad home.

"Did you join SHIELD at fifteen?" questioned Skye, surprise likely apparent in her voice. Seriously, what else would Garrett have done with a fifteen year old boy?

Ward laughed, dry and just a little resentful. "Nope, I wasn't strong enough then. I was still sentimental, weak. I couldn't stand up for myself."

"Then what did Garrett do with you?" asked Skye, her stomach twisting into knots. Garrett had access, unmonitored access, to Ward. To a kid who'd been beaten badly enough he tried to set his own house on fire. People didn't start out like that, they grew into that because other people drove them to it and she doubted Garrett cared about that fact.

Ward frowned slightly, his eyes finally stopping to rest on some point along the wall of his cell. His face went a little vacant for a moment, his eyes losing focus. When he spoke again, his voice was distant and just a touch bitter. "He taught me how to survive, showed me that I was strong so long as there was someone to guide me." Anger rose in his voice, triggered by some memory Skye couldn't even begin to guess at. "I proved I wasn't weak in those damn woods, even if I did let Buddy go!"

The last part of his sentence was more of a shout, accompanied by the sound of his fit striking cement again. Skye took a rapid step back, startled, eyes darting from his face to his fist. The vehemence in his statement though told the story: whoever Buddy was, he'd been given orders he hadn't obeyed. The big question was: who was Buddy? It almost sounded like a dog. "Who's Buddy?" Then the first part of his statement kicked in. "Wait, the woods? What woods? Ward, what the hell did Garrett do to you!"

For a long moment, he didn't respond. No denials, no reaction. Just complete silence as he stared at his fist crumpled against the wall. The blood was worse now, the previous clots breaking with the force of the second strike.

"He left me in the woods." Ward's statement startled her focus back to his face, though his eyes were still locked on his fist. His words were so soft, it was like he choked on them. Like saying something, anything about Garrett was hard for him. "First it was six months with nothing to help me survive except Buddy. When he came back though, I had a camp set up. We'd survived, Buddy and I. We'd made it. And we continued to make it for five years. We survived on what we hunted, what we found in the woods. I proved to Garrett that I could survive. Proved to everyone I was a survivor and not a weak, sniveling coward!" His other fist hit the wall this time, beside the first. If he kept this up, he wasn't going to have a functioning hand left, damnit.

It made Skye want to gather him into her arms and just hold him. His frustration with the world, with how he was treated by Garrett, was so palpable it could choke them both. God, the woods? Garrett was more psychotic than she thought. Than any of them thought. If he was willing to isolate a kid in the woods, leave him there without a leg to stand on... "How did Garrett expect you to survive?"

"He wasn't sure I would," growled Ward quietly. "Wasn't sure I'd still be there when he got back. As if I had somewhere else to go. He broke me out of juvie; I didn't exactly have options."

Skye's stomach flipped at his words. Hard. Garrett had literally trapped Ward in a situation he knew Ward didn't have an out from and abandoned him in the middle of the woods with nothing but what she assumed was a dog and expected him to survive. It sounded like the beginning of a spy movie, when the bad guy tried to forcefully indoctrinate his human weapon by brain wash- oh. Oh god no. There's no way Garrett would... but he would. The man was psychotic enough to use psychological torture and intimidation against a kid. A kid from a broken family who wanted nothing more than to be accepted by someone, anyone. She knew that feeling all too well.

"God Ward, why didn't you tell anyone?" whispered Skye. She understood why he didn't run- if he really had nothing there was no where for him to go. She'd at least had a few personal effects and a sketched out plan when she'd run. A little money she'd been squirreling away bit by bit. Something. It had been something. But she hadn't been running from juvie either. She had to be careful not to get picked up, but they didn't look hard for runaways. Prisoners though? That was a different matter.

"What was I supposed to say?" asked Ward quietly, stepping backward and letting his bloody fists drop to his sides. The bright red smears against the wall were a sharp contrast to the otherwise white-washed cinder blocks. As she watched, more blood dripped to the floor with soft thuds. It was like a leaky sink, but with blood instead of water. "Garrett was only making me stronger. He didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who screwed up, who couldn't obey orders."

"Ward, he left you to die," murmured Skye. Her eyes softened as she stepped closer to the bars. She wasn't supposed to, but she couldn't help it. The urge to comfort him was growing, even after all he'd done. No one deserved to be treated the way he had by Garrett, especially not a kid. "That's not teaching someone to be strong, that's torturing them. Did you even have contact with anyone else in the five years you were in the woods?"

"Just Garrett and Buddy," stated Ward with distant eyes. It was like their conversation was dragging him back to that place. And who knew, maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it would help him grow. She needed to talk to his shrink though (she knew he had one because there was no way he'd pass an entry psychological exam and showed no signs of any of this; she'd seen it when he didn't want her to after a few weeks on the Bus). "Buddy was great. Dogs are better than people."

It was such a Ward thing to say, Skye couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips. Yes, it was sad that he believed that; no one should ever be so badly treated by anyone that they would rather deal with another species over their own. But she wasn't going to argue either- at least dogs were loyal. Confirming Buddy was a dog though made the whole matter of Garrett abandoning him in the woods alone all the worst. She might not be a psychologist, but she could recognize the signs of psychological torture when she saw them.

"Dogs are better," agreed Skye softly, shaking her head to try to clear the thoughts away. "What did you do about school? How'd you finish it?"

"Didn't," muttered Ward, shaking his head as his eyes remained locked on the wall. "Never asked to. Never liked school. Garrett gave me books to read when I had down time, stuff I'd need to know. And he got me into the Academy. They taught me anything I'd need in the field."

"And you never asked to go?" questioned Skye quietly. She could understand that; school had always seemed like a waste of time to her. She still believed it was. But Ward had always acted like her not having a high school education was somehow...bad. Maybe it was because he didn't have one either though.

"How could I?" muttered Ward, shaking his head slowly. "I was a fugitive from a juvie center. How Garrett made that go away, I don't even know. He literally broke me out of prison, then dropped me into the woods. I owed him and I didn't have any right to ask him for favors. Besides, what good had school ever done me?" His words were hollow and cold, bitter. Like he didn't actually believe what he was saying, but he didn't have any other answer either.

And then it hit her. One of her foster mothers had once said 'when people treat you with animosity and not kindness, they are jealous of you'. Skye didn't believe that was true, and she'd seen evidence to the contrary many, many times. But this time, she wasn't sure that wasn't the case.

She and Ward weren't that different in terms of where they'd come from: both were children without a stable home; adults who were never shown love as children the way they should have been. Two people who'd never known what family meant. Ward was beaten, she was abandoned. They both knew the pain of feeling unloved. But where Ward had been thrown into juvie, locked away and then taken by a psychopath to escape his family, she'd walked away. She'd told the world to go screw itself and gone her own way. On her own two feet and under her own power. She didn't have a high school education because she'd chosen not to get one; Ward didn't have one because he'd been kept from having one. Because someone else had decided he didn't need it. She wondered if he even knew that might be the cause of his early aggression, that on some level he might have been angry because she'd chosen to do something he wasn't given the option to.

"Did you want to go?" asked Skye, her voice quiet. It was a dangerous question to ask, one she wasn't sure he'd even have an answer for. But it was also a question he needed someone to ask. Garrett had driven it into his head that he owed the man something for saving him from his family, and now Ward needed someone to start asking him to think for himself. This was as good a chance as any.

"I didn't have a choice," repeated Ward, shaking his head as he finally broke eye contact with the wall. He didn't look back at her though, his eyes falling to her shoes as he continued. "You should go back to Coulson. He's not going to be happy if he finds out you were here. Master calls, you listen, right?"

Part of Skye bristled at his words. She wasn't a dog, damnit! The rational side of her mind though, the part that had begun working as soon as she'd started connecting the dots, saw the move for what it was: an attempt to lash out at her over his own pain and anger. She wasn't going to let him get to her either. "AC isn't my master. If I want to go somewhere, I'll go there. If you could change what happened, would you?"

"There's no point in asking that Skye," growled Ward, spinning in his cell so his back was to her. It was like he thought she'd leave if he turned away from her. "Garrett didn't let me go, so I didn't go. What I wanted didn't matter, it's never mattered. What everyone else wants, that's what I have to do. That's what matters. I don't get what I want."

"That's not what I'm asking, Ward," repeated Skye calmly, forcing her voice to remain even. "If you had the choice, would you have wanted to go to school."

"I said, it doesn't matter!" snarled Ward, spinning on her suddenly like an animal and stalking towards the bar. "It doesn't matter that I would have liked the choice! It doesn't matter that I wished I could have done something normal for once! I doesn't matter because I can't change what happened!" He was shouting by the time he finished and she could hear guards running towards their position. She held her hand up though as soon as they came into sight, indicating she was fine.

Swallowing slightly to push away any nerves, Skye stepped towards the bars and tried to keep herself as calm as possible. "I know you can't change what happened then, Ward, but you might be able to change it no-"

"It doesn't matter," repeated Ward, his voice calm in that moment, sad and filled with resignation. He pushed away from the bars slowly, then turned and dropped onto his bunk. "You should leave Skye. The guards get antsy when I get mad and I don't want you to get in trouble."

Glancing down the hall, Skye could see what he meant. The guards did look particularly unhappy. She didn't pay them any mind though, waving her hand in a gesture of 'go away, I've got this' and stepped even closer to the bars. "I'll leave, Ward. But I'm going to come back."

"Don't bother," dismissed Ward, turning over on his bed so his back was to her. "You shouldn't bother with a useless man like me. I couldn't even save the man who gave me a chance. I'm not worth anyone's time."

His words broke her heart, but as she stared at his back, she knew repeating her promise wouldn't do any good. He'd just argue with her and if he got mad again, she was afraid the guards would do something rash. So she turned away from the cell, only pausing to add: "See you later, Grant." And she would. She would be back, regardless of if he wanted her to come back or not.

Then she was heading down the hall and towards the anxious looking guards. She'd have to assure them everything was alright before she left, just to make sure they didn't do something stupid. And she needed to speak with Ward's shrink. There was an idea forming in her head and it could be really good or really bad, she wasn't sure which, but she wanted to run it by his head-doctor anyway. After all, if this would help him gain some kind of footing in his life, it was worth doing.