Just know that this is my first TMNT story, so if you can, please go easy on me for trying. Enjoy!
March 4, 2012
I never told the guys or Master Splinter about the secret I've held for as long as I could remember when I first experienced the feeling inside of me. I don't know how they would react if they find out that I'm not entirely a mutant humanoid turtle, or if they were to find out that I'm not just part turtle and part human... It all started almost fifteen years ago, back when my brothers and I were just baby turtles and when Master Splinter was still known as Hamato Yoshi...
Flashback...
"Damn it! That turtle got out, again!" The pet store manager cried out, seeing that there are three baby turtles playing in their glass tank bowl, when he should be seeing four baby turtles in the glass tank bowl.
He also saw that the lid, that's been sealing the top of the tank to prevent the pets inside from getting out, was removed and laying flat-out on the left-side of the tank, which the manager knows that the missing turtle couldn't have down that on his own. Immediately, he figured out where the missing turtle's at and facepalm his face from not realizing it sooner.
"Damn it, Shadow!" The manager yelled out, setting the lid back in its place to be sure that the remaining turtles wouldn't get out, and made his way to the room next door, where they keep the dogs in until they're bought and sold to their new owners.
There are thirteen dogs inside the pen, most of them awake and barking playfully, while the rest of the dogs are sleeping peacefully in their pen until they smelled the manager of the shop passing by and lifted their heads to watch him go by before returning to their sleeping.
By the time the manager reached the end of the room, his hunches of his dog being the turtle-napper was correct when he saw his midnight-black canine-companion gently nuzzling the missing baby turtle, which was laying in front of the canine and in-between the large-animal's paws to prevent it from wondering off, despite the little creature being slower than a dog. Both animals were too caught up on playing with each other, that they didn't notice the canine's owner standing in front of them until they both heard a continuous angry tapping on the floor that was irritating the dog's sharp hearing. When the large-animal looked up and his moon-blue eyes stared into his owner's grey-brown eyes, did the animal lowered his head in shame, his nose gently nuzzling the small-turtle to give it comfort when it sunk into its shell from the tapping they've heard.
"Shadow, how many times do I have tell you to stop taking that turtle out of its tank?" Knowing from the start that he would get in trouble and since he couldn't really answer back to the manager, Shadow let out whimpers and looked back up at his answers with his large, puppy-dog eyes, hoping that his secret weapon will get him into less trouble than he already was in. His owner wasn't very amuse by his dog's attempt to get out of trouble. "I don't have time for this, Shadow; he and his brothers are going to be sold, possibly today, and I have to make sure that I have all four baby turtles ready to be bought or they won't be able to go to their forever home."
The owner then leaned in over his dog's face, who let out a couple of more whimpering sounds, and watch his owner gently but firmly grab both side of his little friend's shell. Sensing himself being captured and about to be taken away from his canine-companion, the little turtle reached his little head out of his shell and made a quick grab for Shadow's leg, trapping a few pieces of his fur in his little beak. Being so small and helpless, the store manager had no problem on pulling the turtle away from the wolf-dog, even when the little creature had a grip onto his fur, and then calmly left the kennel part of the store. Unknown to the store manager, that when he pulled the small turtle away from his dog, a few strands of the mammal's fur were lightly pulled away from the dog and are now being kept within the turtle's mouth... Which were then, by mere fear of being lifted away, were swallowed and are now inside of the turtle's small-stomach.
Once he was placed back inside of the tank with his three brothers, who all corralled over to their big brother and butted heads against each other in rejoice on being back together, the manager went back to his place at the cashier, where he didn't have to wait long for his next customer to come through his shop's door: It was Hamato Yoshi, and to the store manager's luck, he came to buy the four baby turtles. Not only was the manager more than happy to give his customer the four turtles, but he also gave him a discount on buying all four of the turtles, which ended up with the thirty-five year-old man to give up ten dollars for the small creatures. Shadow, who came through the door of the kennel room, watched the whole thing happening before his eyes and let out whimpers of sadness when he knew that his little friend was no longer going to be with him.
Hearing the dog's distress cry from the tank, the small turtle crawled towards the side that was closest to the canine and started tapping his little paw against the glass, letting out little squeaking cries to let out his own cry of distress, right before the manager grabbed him and placed him inside a small fishbowl full of sand with his brothers and handed them over to their new owner. Even as they went through the front door and went around the corner, the small turtle never left his gaze that were implanted to where the pet store was just at, hoping that at any moment, Shadow would come running in from behind the human that took him and his siblings, and then would whisk him away to where only the two of them would be together. Though he love and cares for his younger brothers and would want his canine-friend to take them as well, he knew that they never liked the black wolf-dog from the moment he took their big brother out of their tank for the first time and would never want to stay with turtle-napper, even if that certain turtle-napper is a friend of their big brother that never did any harm to the small-creature.
The small-turtle suddenly felt something large and warm gently touch his little-head, startling the small creature to shrink into his shell in fear that the human that took him and his brothers was going to hurt him. When he felt that certain warm-feeling go to the back of his shell, the turtle let out a small hissing sound, hoping that his warning cry would scare the human and make it cease with whatever it was doing to him. He then heard the human chuckle, his voice holding a deep but caring tone.
"You must be the oddball that I was told who played with the store manager's wolf-dog," the human said to the turtle. The warm feeling on his shell finally left him, a sign that the small-turtle can come out of his shell. Once he did came out of his shell, he was quite stunned to see the human giving his younger brothers the same treatment it gave to him: Brushing and stroking his younger brother's head and shell, which they all seemed to liked and enjoyed very much. Nevertheless, the eldest of the bunch made his way towards the finger that was petting his baby brother and tried to snap his beak onto the finger, only to bite at the air, itself, when the finger pulled away just in time to avoid being bitten. "And you sure are very protective over your brothers." Yoshi added, letting out another chuckle in amusement from one of his new pet-turtles intriguing him by displaying his reaction and behavior when a stranger's display their own affection to their new pet.
As he continues to make his way to his apartment that was a couple of blocks away from the pet store, a strange man bumped into Yoshi, not bothering to apologize or take notice that the thirty-five year-old can sense something odd about him. Within the small bowl, the eldest turtle can also sense something wrong about that human who shoved by his new owner and let out a hiss towards the direction of the walking man, warning his younger brothers and Yoshi that the man walking away from them is bad news. And boy, for an infant turtle, he was right.
When Yoshi decided to follow the strange man and hid himself behind the wall of a building next to the alley, did he saw was another man, looking exactly like the same stranger that bumped into him. He then noticed that one of two men was holding a canister, filled with some strange glowing substance that the thirty-five year-old had never seen before. He took another silent step closer to the alley, only to have accidentally step on a rat's tail, that let out a squeal of pain and had alerted the two men that they've been spotted.
"Go no further." One of the men said to Yoshi, slowly walking towards him to gang up on the thirty-five year-old man and his pet turtles. "This place is a place where you are not allowed to be in this place."
While the two in front of Yoshi came up closer to him, the eldest turtle heard footsteps coming up from behind his new owner and let out another hiss, warning his owner that it's being surrounded and is most likely going to be attacked from behind, while his younger brothers huddled up behind him in fear of being grabbed and wanting their eldest brother to protect them from the four humans surrounding them and their new owner.
"We have been seen in this place by you, so this is not a place that will be left by you."
Though he may appear helpless and look as though he doesn't stand a chance against four strange men, what they didn't know is that Hamato Yoshi is one of the top masters of Ninjutsu in all of Japan. So, when the two men from behind him tried to pin him down to make it easier for the other two men to attack him, he fought back. Being mindful that he has his baby turtles with him and not wanting to put them on the sideline of danger, he kicked the two men from behind him out of the alley, forcing them to land on the street and/or hit against some of the parked cars. He then turned his attention to the other two men, using one hand to hold the bowl that still held the baby turtles and using the other hand to form itself into a fist to deliver painful punches. Apparently, when he punched the fourth man to the ground, he has caused his opponent to release his hold on the canister, which then flew in midair for a few seconds and then landed... Right on top of Yoshi and shattered from the mere force and strength the human has within him.
The blow to the head was enough to force the thirty-five year-old man to release his hold on the bowl his pet turtles still remained inside of and the bowl shattered when it hit the ground, releasing the turtle from its hold and forcing them to land on separate spaces on the ground, covered with the glowing substance. When they were forced to scattered, the eldest turtle landed near the glow-covered Hamato Yoshi, who was withering in pain and going through a terrible transformation. While going through the changes, some of the substance that landed on Yoshi dripped off of the thirty-five year-old man and some of them fell on top of the eldest turtle, some of it covering his shell and face... And the rest went straight into his mouth when he let out a shriek of fear from the sight of his new owner changing into a bigger beast, forcing him to swallow the substance and having him to also go through the terrible burning feeling of his own transformation.
To the little-turtle, it felt like the burning sensation lasted for hours, when it had actually lasted for about ten to fifteen seconds and by the time it finally ended, he knew that at this very moment, he was no longer a turtle. Right when his vision went blurry and his hearing started to silence the world around him, he was able to get fuzzy-glimpses of the still forms of his brothers and a large-beast, which happened to be his owner but he couldn't tell what it actually looked like from his vision starting to go black, quickly scooped the four of them into the folds of its arms and swiftly leaving the alley. And with those being the last to remember his life as a normal turtle, the eldest turtle knew nothing else and fell into the comfort of the silencing darkness.
End of Flashback...
And that was the last thing I remember of my life as a normal turtle, and the beginning of my new life as a humanoid-turtle... Although, my life as a humanoid-turtle didn't start the moment my brothers and/or Sensei did.
The moment I was fully mutated, I was deaf, I had my eyes closed for months and I couldn't walk or even move my limbs like my brothers could when they were four to seven months old. Sensei told me that during my infancy stage, all I ever did was sleep, like I was hibernating, and stayed completely still in our sleep-spot, unless my brothers would accidentally push me a bit that placed me in a different position whenever they would play with one other, or whenever it was time for us to be bathed or fed. He also claimed that I rarely made a sound and I ate so little, that I didn't drink even half of the bottle that he would give us milk from (Where he gotten the milk from, was at a grocery store that he would sneak into at the middle of the night to gather food, before the store manager put up security to catch the thief and protect any more of his food products when we were turning two years old). Master Splinter was worried that I wouldn't make it, that I was going to become a lost cause if he continued to take care of me when I showed no signs of waking up or moving. However, he refused to give up on me and wasn't going to leave me for death without a fight.
While Master Splinter and my brothers began their lives on the exact day of our mutation, my life started when I was near my first year of life, which I was about eight and a half months old.
Flashback...
He wasn't sure how long he had his eyes closed for, or how long he saw is the darkness in front of him when he would no longer be able to dream from the sound of a stranger and brothers interrupting his peaceful nap, which he has grown used to when he was able to hear at four months old, until they're to sleep with him, but he does know that it's been a long time since he saw anything but the darkness. And now, feeling a bit restless and wanting to see something that isn't the darkness, the turtle gathered what little strength he has inside of him to force his eyes to open from heavy eyelids that prevented him from seeing the world around him the very moment he was turned into a humanoid turtle.
It was literally tiring him out on having to open his eyes, which wasn't the first time he tried opening them up and ended up with the same results on having to forcefully give up and continue on sleeping until he was a bit stronger to try again, but he has a feeling that this would be the very moment he will open his eyes and that feeling, alone, is all the motivation he needs to keep on trying and to not give up on his efforts.
"Uhm... Hmm..."
He could hear his brothers and a deep voice around him, all sleeping at this very moment from the activities that has satisfied them all until they only had the energy to cuddle up and sleep. How he has wished to see how his brothers turned out to be after being mutated into humanoid turtles, how he wish to see the man who has taken them away from the pet store became their master. But most of all, he wish that the moment he sees them, that he would be able to bond with his brothers and master, and make up for lost time they haven't been able to start together, after months of being forced to do nothing but sleep the months away.
It was at that moment, that he noticed a small line of light, signifying that his eyelids are starting to open. Excitement rushed throughout his entire being, as he forced his eyes to open a bit more, watching the small line of light getting bigger by the second... Then, finally, after months of being in darkness and only having his dreams be his only company from within the darkness and the sound of his family around him, his eyes finally opened and could see what he's been missing for so long. It took some time for his eyes to get adjusted to the light, since they've never seen the light before he was no longer an ordinary turtle, but after a few blinks and rubbing the blurriness out of his eyes, did his vision finally came to focus.
He let out a small gasp when he was able to see all around, as he slowly and quietly lifted himself from where he has laid and was soon sitting up... Surrounded and in the center of his family in what appears to be their sleep-spot. He was completely surprised to see how his brothers turned out after being mutated: human-infant bodies, three-fingers and toes, large-shells surrounding and protecting their body if threat were to ever come for them. The boy smiled softly at how his brothers turned out, happy to know that all three of them are unharmed, safe and healthy. He then noticed a long, pink-tail curled around himself and his brother, as if it was there to keep the four small turtles from wondering off or roll away in their sleep. He then watch the long tail slowly pulling in on them and bringing the small infants towards a large-figure that the turtle didn't noticed until he heard a couple of low grunts and murmuring sound from behind him.
When he turned himself to face the figure, he was startled to be seeing a large-rat laying beside him and his brothers, sleeping with them as if the four infants are his young... Which, after slightly scooting a bit closer to the large-creature but still at a far distance in case he was a threat to him and his brothers, as he sniffed the creature's scent, did the boy made the discovery that he and his brothers carry the rat's scent. However, scent, alone, wasn't enough proof if he and his brothers have marked as the humanoid-rat's own children or if it was going to plan on eating them, judging by the large-teeth the large-mammal's showing from its mouth gaped.
"Urg... Saki..." The rat muttered in his sleep, bringing the turtle out of his trains of thoughts and to watch the rat's expression go from calm to pain, fear and anger. "...No... Shen... Miwa...!"
Hearing the hurt in his voice on the last two words he spoke, along with feeling he knew where he heard that voice from but couldn't remember from where at this very moment, the small turtle felt the uncomfortable feeling of something crushing his heart and he didn't like the feeling one bit.
Go! Get away from sad and hurt feeling! Don't like feeling hurting heart! Get away from feeling!
His first instinct was to get up and get as far away from the negative feelings as possible, but another instinct got in the way.
Stay! Don't leave! Can't leave hurt and sad! Don't leave creature sad and hurt!
Instead of it being an actual instinct, his conscience came to give him second thoughts and didn't wants him to leave the rat, hurt and sad. It was a hard decision for the eight month-old turtle to choose, but after seeing the depressing look on the rat's face, which somehow added the hurt feeling even more in his chest and sensing his three brothers unconsciously feeling the negative emotion around them, from seeing them twitching in their sleep and letting out small whimpers that indicated their fears and pain, the eldest turtle knew that he has to try and make the feeling go away. So, on wobbly arms and legs that haven't been in use for months and being as careful as he could on not bumping against his sleeping brothers or waking them up, the small turtle crawled his way towards the rat, where he sat at the right-side of the creature's sleeping-figure, next to the midsection of the neck. At first, he was a bit hesitate on making the first move, but he knows that the sooner he tries to comfort the creature, the sooner the hurt feeling will go away. Even if he doesn't succeed on calming the sleeping rat, at least knowing that he tried to help will soothe his guilty conscience.
So, after taking a deep breath, he slowly raised his small left-hand and moved it towards the fur on the rat's neck. The moment he palm lightly rested against the tip of the fur, the little-turtle was indeed surprised on how soft the top of the fur was. Then, after making sure that his touch hasn't jostled the rat out of his sleep, the boy added a little more pressure on laying his hand into the fur and then, slowly stroked the fur. The small boy was a little disappointed that his comfort wasn't doing any effect on the rat, but after the next few strokes and a little bit more pressure that has him feeling the creature's skin through the thick fur, the creature finally started to calm down and cease his murmuring.
The feeling of something clutching at the boy's heart began to fade, as he kept on soothing the mammal's sadness and fear. The more the child stroke the brown and black-fur, the less hurt and sad the large-creature felt and the more the hurt feeling in the child's chest went away on becoming nonexistence. Eventually, the rat finally went silent, only breathing calming and settling in a perfect rhythm that shows he's now sleeping peacefully. Smiling in satisfaction that he has soothe the creature into a more comfortable sleep and seeing his brothers no longer feeling the negative emotions around them to ruin their sleep, the turtle gently patted the rat's neck before he quietly crawled away from the mammal, trusting it to not eat his brothers while he goes off to explore a bit, and the sleep-spot the small group continue to sleep on.
Now that he can see and knows that his family will be okay, all the infant wants to do is go explore his new surroundings and find out what he's been missing for the past eight months, along with learning how to gain better control of his body and get it use to moving around instead of laying still in one spot twenty-four/seven. He wasn't sure what the strange objects are around him called or what they do, like the weird box that has moving pictures going on through the glass or the long-blue thing in front of the moving-picture box that looks like it would be fun to jump on or be more comfortable to sleep or sit on, but what he does know is that every item that he sees before his deep-blue eyes are his and his brothers, along with the large-mammel if it's a friend, to keep and belong to only them. He eventually found small sets of steps, leading up towards a large-hole that leads outside of the large territory, of the den that must belong to the humanoid-rat.
At first, he was planning on staying away from the large-hole that leads to the darkness and head back to his brothers and large creature on their sleep-spot, but the urge and instinct to go exploring and seeing that there are red-lights lighting a trail within the darkness, the boy couldn't resist the opportunity to not check it out. Seeing that he could most likely get his knees hurt if he were to crawl over the small steps, the small turtle placed a hand on the step in front of him and used it to help him get up off his knees and to stand on his own two feet for the very first time. Again, because he hasn't been moving his body for months and has never once walked on only his hind-legs in his small life, his body isn't use to the sudden change of position it was in and his legs wobble from being unused for so long and not having to hold up so much weight before, even when the boy barely weigh that much.
Not only was his legs a bit weak on having to hold up so much weight, but his shell, alone, was making his balance a bit more difficult to gain because of its own weight it carries and has nearly caused the child to fall on his back and leave him stuck on his back until he could either turn himself over to his side or roll himself off his shell. How he wish that he could simply crawl up the steps to get through the opening, if they didn't have pointed edges or feel as if they have sharp-pieces of broken glass all around them that could cut into his knees. Despite being new to moving only his hind-legs and having to fall on his knees, along with trying to hold in his wince and hurt cries whenever he cuts his skin onto the hard ground and nearly waking up his brothers and large-mammal from the continuous thumps he would make when he would fall to the ground, in just six minutes, he finally gotten the hang of walking, even when his shell would still try to pull him a bit too far back.
The next part he would have to learn is walking up the steps, which will result of him to lift his legs a bit higher than they normally would to help him move up the steps. Luckily, for him, while he lifts his feet to get them over the steps, he was allow to use the railing of the steps as support if he ever feels himself going to fall backwards and to keep himself up until he gets to the next step. Eventually, he makes it to the final steps of the small staircase and after crawling under what the small-turtle believe to be a gate, the boy finds himself outside at the opening of the den. Unlike the darkness he has to see through his shut-eyelids, the darkness of the tunnels didn't scare him much because the tunnels had red-lights that leads the way to wherever they start or end... And in the darkness, despite seeing the darkness for months, it brings a certain comfort to the small turtle.
Soon, curiosity gotten the best of him when he wants to see where the lights of the tunnel leads him to, that he didn't hesitant on following towards the direction that showed a long-trail of red-lights to the left-side of his den's opening. Wondering if he could go faster, the turtle tried to make his feet go a little faster, which left him to once again fall to the floor and get a few more cuts into his skin and some to actually scratch into his plastron. And still, even with his body and skin now carrying a lot of cuts and some of them leaving a small trail of blood, the deep-blue eyed turtle won't allow himself to cry. Thinking it would be easier to be moving forward in a position that was more useful and comfortable, the boy chose to continue following the trail of red-lights by crawling.
Time went by slowly, but to the infant-turtle, he felt like he's been following the red-lights for an eternity inside of the large-tunnel, the trail and tunnel feeling like it doesn't have a beginning or an end at all. The small-turtle was getting tired the more he continued on following the trail, and his body was getting very sore the more he kept on crawling on the rough-floor that continues to cut into his skin to leave new scratch-marks and dig in deeper to the more opened wounds he gave to himself when learning how to walk. He was already thinking about to stop following the trail and to head back for the den, when he started to hear something far out within the tunnel in front of him. It didn't sound like footsteps, for the sounds has more than one or two feet hitting the ground and it sounded like whatever it was hitting the ground is increasing the speed of meeting the ground.
The eldest turtle wanted to try and get their quicker and was thinking about crawling a bit faster, but he knows that the idea of scraping his knees even more into the ground will hurt a lot more. So, he tries to lift his knees off the ground, which resulted of him being force to straighten his arms making him stand on all-four... Which instantly have him recall of his past-life as a regular turtle on how he would move: By walking on all-four, resulting on moving by using his hands and feet as his transportation, not by his hands and knees or using just his back-legs that he still barely been able to get used to having to move him around.
The boy smiled at the past he still remembers, especially the good old days where he would get out of his tank and play with the manager's wolf-dog, Shadow. His mind then had him lock on to how he would watch Shadow move on all-four, which includes on how he would jog-trot and when there was time he would be very excited about something that he couldn't help but run around in the shop or run through the dog-door of the shop and go off to play for a little while. Back then, the turtle thought that whenever the wolf-dog runs, he more looks like he was doing mini-hops, sort of like how rabbits would run and hop, since he would use his hind-legs to kick him off his feet and be in midair for a bit until his forearms would help him land back on solid ground. Looking down at the way he positioned himself on all-four, knowing that his older walk on all-four from the past was much more different than the way he's doing it, he found himself in a similar position that Shadow and the dogs at the kennels would stand.
Run... Run to sound. Run on all-four... Run... To freedom.
His first instinct came back, fueling his urge to follow the sound, to run the same way Shadow and the other canines would move swiftly as they please. Even as an infant, the turtle understood what his instincts are telling him to do and to the meaning of the word 'freedom'.
Don't leave... Stay with brothers! Need you. Miss you! Too young to leave, too soon for freedom! Need time. Wait until bigger, older and stronger...
His conscience intervened once again, reminding the infant that he can't go off and leave his brothers that he just seen for the first time in over eight months, especially when he has no knowledge on how to survive the dangers that could happen to him at any moment or how to provide for himself to get on the days to come. Silence was all the small-turtle could hear, making him wonder if his newly-found instinct couldn't come up with an answer or an agreement for the suggestion his conscience brought up, or if it was waiting for the infant to make his own choices. And right now, all he wants to do is follow the continuous sound of something tapping onto the ground and figure out what it was.
...Stay with Kins, stay for now. Once all are bigger, older and stronger, leave Kins... Leave for freedom. For now, explore.
Smiling to the agreement his instinct just said to him and feeling excitement coursing through his small body, the boy was more than ready to get going. Before he did, however, he first has to relearn on how to move on all-four by his hands and feet, which was a little difficult for him to do because he has to be sure his hands were apart from one another and away from his feet to avoid tripping over them if they get caught against each other while he stares out what's in front of him.
It didn't take that much time for him to get used to not crawling on his knees than it did with walking on just his two feet, but he still wants to move a bit faster than the speed he's going in. Once again memorizing on how Shadow and some of the dogs would move a bit faster and/or run on all-four, the turtle decided to try and do the jog-trot.
From what he remembers on how they do it, the canines would lift their paws a bit higher off the ground and would have all four-legs move as a unison: Either doing left-arm and right-leg first and vise versa, making them looks as if they're sprint-jumping, or sometimes left-side first and vise versa, which almost looks like they're doggy-paddling on land when they're not in the waters. The child then recalls that whenever Shadow does his jog-trot, rather than lifting his head up like most of the dogs would, he would actually lower his head down a bit to make him and his back straight as a smooth plank-wood, almost like he's out in the woods and is stalking for his prey.
The turtle decided to give it a try, and started moving himself on all-four. Then, he tried to go a bit faster by moving his legs a bit faster, which almost had him tripping over his own arms and fall face first onto the ground. Luckily, he stopped himself from falling with his own hands and before he realize it, he was no longer doing the jog-trot, but has started the run-gallop when both his legs landed together mere inches behind his arms and launched him a bit high in the air, making him reach his arms out to catch him and prevent him from landing roughly on the ground. Immediately, he was starting to see a pattern: Whenever his legs land together, he lifts his hands off the ground and against his chest, ready to thrust them out in the open to catch him. And whenever they land together to stop him from falling, his legs would curl themselves a bit while in the air and set themselves to land a few inches from his hands to start the cycle all over again.
Before he realized it, he was going so fast, that he could feel the wind blowing against him and his heart thundered in a rhythm that tells him of two things: He was running as a wolf, and he was running free. He was so distracted from realizing that he was going fast and overly excited from figuring out what the taste and feel of freedom is, that he wasn't expecting for either his instinct or his conscience to interrupt his fun.
Stop! Made it to spot. Made it where sound is making.
Immediately, after his feet has landed on the ground, the child lifted the top-half of his body to put in a bigger gap between his hands and his feet, forcing him to cease his run-gallop and for him to realize that he was out of breath on having to be going fast for who knows how long to the small-infant.
*Drip!... Drip!... Drip!... Drip!...*
Hearing the sound continuing on and feeling something wet underneath his left-hand, the boy turned to his left and looked up, finding himself staring at a drain that's been allowing water to come into the tunnel from the pouring rain that's going on before his deep-blue eyes. As it continued on dripping rainwater, the boy realized how dry his mouth is and how parched he felt after that run he just did, so he leaned in on the wall that was underneath the drain and opened his mouth to let the water come dripping in to quench his thirst. The water was quite refreshing, even though it was cold, and he didn't mind that the water would pour over his small body. In fact, he actually enjoys the feeling of water washing over him and washing away whatever substance that still clings to his skin, especially if the substance is dry blood from his scrapes.
When he no longer felt thirsty and feeling much more refreshed that his skin no longer held any bloodstains, the turle gently leaned his shell against the wall that has helped him gain his balance while standing on his legs and slowly allowed himself to sit against the wall, simply enjoying the feeling of his skin being moisturized instead of being stuck on the sleep-spot for so long and only being bathed once every few days when some large-being would remove him from the sleep-spot and take him to another area in a spot filled with warm-water and some sort of foam-substance that the turtle wasn't familiar with. He does remember, back when he was still a normal turtle, that he and his brothers would be removed from their tank once every three or four days and be placed in a fish bowl, then they sleep or watch the store-manager or an employee dump the water out of their temporarily home and then would use a yellow-object covered in white-stuff to wipe the glass of the tank with, before they would rinse the white-stuff out of their case and replace their old water with new water. He wasn't sure if the foam-substance and the white-stuff could be linked to one another, but what he does know is that they both carry a sort of scent that doesn't match to any earthly-environment and wasn't sure if he liked his skin smelling like those two substances instead of his usual scent of earth and water.
As the water continued on pouring down over him, the child began to shiver when the temperature around him started to drop and was having trouble keeping the water from getting into his eyes. So, after scooting away from the drain above him and getting himself on all-four, the child shook his body, just like Shadow and the other mammals would do back at the pet store, to get any remaining water or any dirt off of his small-form still clung to his skin or shell. It didn't help get rid of the cold eating away his body heat, but at least he was dry, as long as he stays away from the drain and the puddle. And speaking of the puddle, it just got bigger in size than it originally was when the small-turtle first came to the drain and when he finished shaking his body to get rid of the rain-water that coated him. Realizing that he never gotten the chance to see how he came out after being mutated eight months ago and seeing how his family came to be, the turtle stared down at the puddle, looking right down at his reflection:
He already knew, on having to stare at his hands when he woken up and his feet when learning how to walk, he has three fingers, three toes and his skin's darker than his brothers, resembling to a forest-green color. His shell, rather than swallowing up his entire body and only letting his head and his arms out like it used to when he was a normal turtle, the back of the shell was thin and the highest it would reach behind him was to the halfway point of his neck, while his plastron covered his chest area and only reached up to cover his collarbones. He also noticed that his neck wasn't as long as it used to be as a turtle and that his head was round, but smooth and his face curved down a bit for still having his beak. Then, he saw his eyes; he never thought he would ever see his eyes again, but now, he can finally see them once more: Deep-blue, almost near to a dark-cerulean/sapphire color.
The small boy smiled, happy to finally get the chance to truly see himself for who he is. He then reached his small hand out and placed it on the puddle, watching the ripples of the small water dance around and making his image change its shape, before it finally settled and allowed his image to be as it was before his hand laid itself on the puddled ground. He may not have a voice or know how to use that voice to speak, but he can surely think up the words that popped up in his head on how he feels.
'Me... True-self me... Happy-self me... Real me...' Then, like any normal infant would do when they're happy, he let out giggles of happiness and then went into splashing the puddle in front of him. 'Happy... Me, happy... Found true-self me... Happy, me...'
He didn't seem to care on how much he was getting himself wet, considering he already gave himself makeshift-shower from the drain above him, and felt like there was nothing that could take away his feeling of joy and happiness on having to discover his true-self as a humanoid-turtle... Wait a sec? A Humanoid-turtle?
As soon as the happiness came, it suddenly vanished, replaced by confusion and another odd feeling that he wasn't sure it was. The boy knew something wasn't right if he sensed his happiness going away and being replaced by a feeling similar to the hurt feeling that he felt when the humanoid-rat was muttering words that made the boy's heart ache in pain, only this feeling held a different kind of hurt in his heart. A bead of water that glided down his little-face from his splashing dripped off of his skin and fell into the puddle beneath him, getting him to look down when he felt that drop jumping off of his skin. Immediately, he knew something wasn't quite right about his reflection, something he didn't realized when he was examining himself.
'Wrong?... What's wrong?... Found true-self me... What's wrong, True-self me?'
He couldn't really tell what was wrong about his reflection; all he see is himself, a humanoid-turtle like his brothers and a humanoid-creature like the large-rat creature... Although, he did notice something wasn't right about what he see in his reflection... Or better yet, what he doesn't see in his reflection.
His memory then came back to him on the very day he was bought, that he had swallowed some of Shadow's fur and then, right when the and his brothers fell into the mutagen, that he had swallowed some of the substance that lingered off of his owner and it caused his insides to burn in pain like the substance did on his body when it landed on top of him. But at the same time, he felt the inside of his body change. His organs, his muscles, even his skeletal structure changing. Most of all, he felt his heart and mind changed, making him being able to feel and know things of other beings around him and himself more than most people do about themselves...
He then realized that whatever that substance he just swallowed not only changed the outside of his body into a humanoid-turtle, it had also changed the inside of his body... But not in the same way his body was changed as. He wasn't sure how to describe it, but he had a feeling that whatever it was going on inside of his body, he felt like the pieces of fur of Shadow's he ate had something to do with the problem he has about his appearance. He then noticed something was wrong about himself: It was his eyes. He wasn't sure how he didn't figured it out sooner, but it was his eyes that set off the warning bells inside of his mind and the missing link to what it was missing of his appearance... They were the wrong colors.
Back when he was still living at the pet store, he remembers a time where he would stand close to the glass of his tank and then he would see another turtle in front of him, which would keep on copying his every move when he tries to touch the turtle or try to scare it off with his warning hiss. It took him a while to figure out that the turtle he's been seeing in front of him, whenever he stands too close to the glass, that it was merely a reflection of himself. Once he realized that his reflection was no threat to him, the turtle decided to study his own appearance, which there wasn't very much to see the difference between him and his brothers: Same shells, same color skins, same faces. Besides the fact that his first younger brother is the biggest in their group and his youngest brother is the smallest in the group, there was nothing in his reflection or his brothers that could show them being different from one another... However, after a closer look in examination with his eyes and turning to stare at his brothers playing or swimming around in the small water of their tanks, the eldest turtle had found a trace of difference between him and his brothers: Their eyes.
The child never really thought about the color of their eyes when they were normal-turtles; all he knew was that they'd hatched together and are brothers, instinctively feeling that they're all equals with no flaws or differences, always assuming that the four of them are one in the same... Until he took a good look at his own reflection and was staring at his eyes, wondering if his brothers' eyes had also changed colors like his did. The last time he remembers his brothers' eye-colors, his first younger brother's eyes were a light-grey with green specks. His second younger brother's were brownish-red, though his eyes seemed a bit more of a mud-red color. Lastly, his youngest brother's eyes was the only turtle who had blue eyes, which were a light-blue color.
He may not know if his brothers also had their eyes changed as well, but he knew perfectly well that his eyes had changed colors: Because when he saw the colors of his eyes through the glass, they didn't have a color at all... His eyes were just black. No red, no grey, no brown, and definitely no blues in the mixture. His eyes was all black, blending in perfectly with his pupils.
'Eyes... Wrong eyes... Why wrong eyes?' It didn't even take him a second to figure out the answer to that. The strange substance that he swallowed most likely changed his eyes to be a different color when it was changing the inside of his small-form, though he wasn't sure why it changed his eyes to be deep-blue when the substance was a ocean-blue/green color. His mind then went back to his memories, back to where he ate the pieces of Shadow's fur and back to the strange substance he was forced to swallow before the burning pain began to course through his body. 'Shadow's fur?... How fur make wrong eyes?'
His eyes... Shadow's eyes. What were they?
The boy cocked his head to the side, his eyes still staring down at his reflection but his mind going through his past thoughts about his canine-friend.
'Shadow's eyes?... Why Shadow's eyes?'
Alpha-Brother Shadow same color eyes... Alpha-Brother's eyes blue, also.
And he knew that his instincts was right on that, since the turtle had always seen Shadow everyday at the pet store and had played with the wolf-dog when he first learned how to walk without tripping or knocking himself against his brothers, and the wolf-dog had always lowered his large-head to get a better look at the infant turtle, meeting eye-to-eye with one another... Black eyes always meeting moon-blue eyes for no more than the first two weeks of the infant turtle's life.
Substance from Shiny likely merged with Shadow's fur inside stomach, changed inside of body to be like Shadow... Be wolf on inside.
There was no denying or arguing to what his conscience just said; deep inside, within his little-heart, the boy knew that he isn't as he appears to be. On the outside, he's just a little humanoid-turtle. However, on the inside, he was neither human or turtle, but a wolf, and the only physical sign of that proof but something that nobody will ever know of, is his non-black but deep-blue eyes.
'Wolf... Me wolf...?'
He wasn't sure if he should be happy at the thought of being a part of Shadow, or if he should be upset that he's no longer a full-brother to his younger brothers. All he does know, is that he's different, neither a normal-turtle or a humanoid-turtle, and was going to have to live with that knowledge and feeling for the rest of his life as a humanoid-wolf/turtle. He was too distracted on keeping his gaze on the puddle below him, that he didn't realize a presence of another being standing about a yard or two away from where he sat.
"Musuko (son)?" Immediately, the blue-eyed turtle lifted his head up, his eyes widening in mere shock when his hearing caught the sound of a voice. He slowly turned his gaze from the other side of the tunnel to see what just spoke to him... Or should we say, who spoke to him. When his eyes was locked on to the being that stood more than a yard away from him, was none other than the humanoid-rat who the turtle had helped soothed its distress cry from the bad dreams he had, wearing one of those weird-looking cloth made of sheep's wool that covers most of his body from the neck down. The boy thought it was large when it was laying down, but seeing it standing at its full height, it became like a giant humanoid-rat to the child, which made him feel afraid that the rat can easily hurt him if given the chance.
Keep distance. Unknown if friend or foe. Don't let guard down.
When the rat took a step forward, the child instantly got on all four and took a few steps back, shivering from both the cold of the rain-water still pouring down from the drain and fear that the giant-rat was going to hurt him, along with the possibility it also harmed his brothers already and came looking for him to do what it did to his brothers. When the child had taken a few steps away from the creature, the rat took half a step back and slowly got down on one knee, still having its form being able to tower over the child but no longer at its full height to scare the child any more than he already was.
"Do not be afraid, my boy." It said to the turtle, who stayed still where he stood on all four and slowly backing away a little more from the large-creature, preparing himself to run the moment the large-rat makes another move on wanting to attack him. "I won't hurt you... I would never harm you, Musuko." Hearing that weird-word for the second time and not truly understanding what it meant, the boy cocked his head in confusion.
'"Moosko?"... What Moosko?'
The large-rat then scooted a bit closer to the boy, though it remained sitting on his knees and stopped scooting up when it saw how the turtle's eyes were widen in fear and slowly backed away from the creature to keep them apart. Its Reddish-Brown eyes held relief and worry within their gaze, and then would shift to sadness the more the child would try to keep his distance from the creature and then, as if to scare him off or warn him away, would hiss at him.
"You have nothing to fear of me," it spoke again. "For I am not a threat, nor do I wish to be a threat to you." Deep-blue eyes narrowed in confusion to what the creature just said, though he knew that he heard that voice from somewhere but can't remember where at the moment.
'Voice... Know voice... Where heard voice…? Trust voice?'
The large-creature can tell that the infant still doesn't seem to trust it and wasn't clearly understanding to what it was saying to him but seems to recognized its voice, so it tried a new tactic on gaining his trust.
"Little One," it started out gently and slowly. "I do not know if you can understand me or if you remember anything from your past life as a normal-turtle, but I was the human that took you and your brothers from the pet store when I sensed you four would help me get over my depression from my own past life that took away my loved ones, back when I still lived in Japan." It then smiled at the infant, recalling that day as if it were yesterday. "When I took you four out of the pet store, you hid inside of your shell in fear that I would harm you when I started to pet you, but then would snap your beak at my fingers when you saw me petting your brothers and hissed at me to leave you and your brothers alone."
The Cerulean/Sapphire-eyes ceased their narrow glance at the rat, meaning that the boy was starting to see the rat to not be a threat but still confused on what it was saying to him.
"When I ran into a man after getting you and your brothers, I felt something off about him and decided to follow, only to had gave myself away when I accidentally stepped on a rat's tail and forced it to squeak in pain." Blue-eyes then widen a bit from what it was saying to him, forcing the infant to once again relive that very day that had changed his life, but the rat continued on its story. "I was soon surrounded by four people, who all wanted to keep me quiet in fear that I would tell anybody to what I saw, but I had fought and defeated all four of them, while at the same time protecting you and your brothers if any of them tried to grab you four and most likely harm you... After I had taken down the last man, he released his hold on a canister that he was supposed to pass on to one of his colleague when I had punched him in the face, which then landed on top of me and released its substance all around us."
Tears formed in its Reddish-Brown eyes, now making the turtle have the hurt feeling back in his heart and making him feel uncomfortable at seeing the rat upset, again.
"I didn't mean to release my hold on the bowl that kept you and your brothers in, but the substance felt like it was burning me alive and I couldn't stand the feeling of pain it had coursed throughout my body. I could not remember what happened during those seconds, except for the fact that my body was changing me and when the burning pain had finally subsided, I found myself no longer human and had been turned into the humanoid-rat you now see before your eyes." Tears finally streamed down its face, but were changed into tears of joy as its Reddish-Brown eyes stared into the boy's deep-blue eyes. "I Never thought that I would get the chance to see your eyes open, Musuko... I was worried you would never be able to open your eyes, let alone be able to pull through from the substance that had changed you and your brothers nearly over eight months ago." It then leaned in forward a bit towards the turtle, though remained kneeling where it sat, and then held its forearms out. "I know this may all seem very confusing to you and no doubt that you're having a difficult decision if you can trust me or not, but know this: I will never, in my entire life, would do anything to harm you or make you fear me... For I am your Otousan, your father, and you are my Musuko, my son."
The turtle's heart was relieved of some pain that was inflicted on from the sad-look on the creature's face, though a few of those aches still lingers on inside of his small-chest and his curiosity grew when his mind registered what the large-creature just called him.
'"Sun"?... Not Sun... Me not Sun... Can't stay in sky or warm day 'til dark.'
If he only knew how to talk or ask the large-rat what it meant, no doubt that both of their questions would be answered and the boy would be able to trust the rat that it won't harm him.
Not 'Sun', as in glowing-warmth in the day. 'Son', as in his own offspring, his young... His child.
That was something the boy never thought his conscience would say to him, though it did made better sense to what the rat meant when it, or he, called him his 'son'. It would also explain to why he and his brothers carried the creature's scent and to why he was sleeping with the turtles instead of harming or eating them. However, there was one thing that was bothering the back of the boy's mind.
'He, my father?... Me, his young?...' The infant may not know many things and understood only a few words from his instincts and conscience, but he can definitely see a flaw to what the rat claiming to be his father, since he was a rat and the boy is a turtle. 'Different... Not same... How he father?... How me his?'
Then, as if someone heard his question and decided to give him a hint, he felt his hand sting when he lifted it off of the puddle underneath the rain-water, making him wince a bit from the familiar sting-feeling when he had gotten cuts from trying to walk up the steps back at the rat's den. When he held his right-hand towards his face to stare at the palm, he saw the red-liquid flowing out of the cut, merging with the puddle underneath him and being washed away to where the water takes it. Out of curiosity, he leaned in towards his hand and sniffed at the red-liquid, smelling the scent of iron... And, after taking in a few more sniffs, he could also smell another scent that he was already familiar with: Human.
Blood... Carry blood of large-creature. Carry scent and blood of rat before us...
You carry both his scent and blood... He your father, and you his young... His son.
Blue-eyes widen at the shocking discovery he just made and, after placing his hand back down into the puddle and staring back at the large-creature waiting patiently for him to come to him, he knew. both instantly and instinctively, that the rat doesn't have to gain his trust anymore; he already earned the boy's trust, for being his caregiver and his father.
He Alpha: He leader of Pack, who soon trains you, who makes you from Pup to Fighter... He who prepares you to freedom.
He is your father: He family, who cares and protects you and your brothers, who will be there when you need him... He who shall always love you.
With both his instinct and conscience in an agreement of who the humanoid-rat is and knowing that he's needed with his family, his Pack, for the time being until he was strong enough to leave them, the boy slowly and quietly, on all-four, made his way towards the rat.
The rat smiled when he saw his son finally coming over to him, who then sat in front of him and patiently waited to hear or see what his father wanted him to do or what he, himself, wanted to do. Holding in his urge to scoop the turtle into his arms and keeping him within the protective hold of his arms, fearing that it would most likely scare the small-infant on thinking he was going to harm him, the large-creature slowly reached his hands out towards his son and, after keeping a gentle but firm grip on his little-body, pulled him agains his fur-covered chest. Tears of relief streamed down his face, as he gently nuzzled his son's head and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"Musuko, my son, thank you for coming back to me." He whispered to the child, slightly tightening his hold on his little one, still having the feeling of fear in his heart when he had woken up from an odd feeling that something wasn't right and found only three of his sons sleeping beside him, instead of four. "I was worried that somebody from my dark past has came to our home and has taken you away from me... Just as he had taken my wife and daughter away from me, who both would've been your mother and sister if they were still alive on this very day."
The aching feeling in his heart came back, making the child wince in pain from hearing the sadness in his father's voice and hearing the sad-beating tone in his own heart.
Comfort him. He must remember you there for him, not alone.
Knowing that his conscience is right on how he has to cheer up his father, the boy slightly scooted up in the rat's arms and nuzzled his little-face into the black-fur of the rat's neck, gently patting and stroking the long-fur that tickles on his skin and letting out warmth he didn't realize that he needed from how cold he finally noticed he was. The rat smiled from the feeling of his son trying to cheer him up, along with the soft stroke to the neck he faintly remembers that had freed him from his nightmare of the night he lost his first family in Japan.
"You were there for me when I was hurting from the nightmare I was having, weren't you?" He asked his child, though knowing that he won't be getting an answer out of his child. He then slowly got to his feet, which startled the boy when he found himself higher above the ground and hid his face back into the fur of the rat's neck, which is also a sign and gestured of showing his submission to his father, placed his four-fingered right-hand on the back of his son's head while keeping his left-hand on the back of his shell, and slowly made his way towards the direction where his three remaining sons are still peacefully sleeping on their sleep-spot, back to their home. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Musuko. As long as you are within my grasp, I shall not let anything or anyone, not even the person who I once called my friend and brother, harm you or take you away from me and your brothers... Just as you were there for me, I shall be there for you... Leonardo." Lifting his head to the new word, the small-boy stared up in confusion at what his father just said. "Given time, you will learn and understand the name I have given to you, Watashi no musuko (my son). In time, you'll soon be able to embrace your given name, Leonardo."
'Lee... Lee-in-are-doe?' He knew on the way he tried to say his name didn't sound right on how his father pronounced it, but it was the closest way of his own way pronouncing the name his father displayed on him... However, it seems that his instinct and conscience knew how to say it correctly.
You be able to say it right... You be able to call yourself, 'Leonardo'.
Pup, now has given name. Now known as 'Leonardo'.
As his father continued on taking calming steps towards the direction of their home, their den, while keeping a gentle but firm grip on his child that's slowly starts to fall back to sleep in the comforting hold of the rat's arm, a few things came to thought in his little-mind, words he would never forget for as long as he lives and a secret he must never let his family, his Pack, know of unless he has no choice if they do find out.
'Lee... Leonardo... Me, Leonardo... Leonardo, no human... No turtle... No wolf... Leonardo, humanoid-wolf/turtle.'
End of Flashback...
I'm not sure how long I can keep this secret from them, and I can already tell they're noticing my strange behavior. Mikey thinks that I'm going through some sort of phase from becoming a teenager to a pre-adult, like the people in his favorite comic books do, even though we're all the same age and are born as quadruplets. Donnie thinks I caught something funny, but after five physical checkups and three tests for any signs of illnesses, Don came to a conclusion that I'm just simply stressed out and should take it easy every once in a while. Raph, as usual, thinks that I'm trying to be like Captain Ryan, a favorite character of mine from my favorite show 'Space Heroes', and decides to tease me whenever he thinks I'm trying to be Captain Ryan, whether the show's on or when we're not watching TV at all.
As for Master Splinter... I can tell that he seems a bit concern and worry from the way I act differently than my brothers do, that I think he's beginning to see me as some sort of stranger that replaced his actual Leonardo. I also think he can smell the wolf inside of me, from the way he keeps on sniffing in the air and then would stare at me for a full five-seconds, which would make me feel very uncomfortable and wishing that I was back in my room to hide from his gaze.
The reason why I behave differently for the last two years, is not only because that I'm the oldest of my brothers, but my instincts are kicking in and are having me to believe that I need to be responsible for my family's safety. I trained longer and harder than my brothers, so that Sensei will know I'll be able to protect them if we were ambushed or being attacked by an unknown enemy. On the bright side, because only the inside of me is wolf, it also means that my five senses are twice, maybe even three times, stronger and sharper than my brothers and they seem to match up to Master Splinter's senses, possibly even a bit better than his own. The down part, whenever Raph picks a fight with me and whenever I beat him, his continuous efforts to keep challenging me until he wins would make the wolf inside of me want to force him into submission and is willing to do whatever means necessary to get him to submit... Well, almost whatever means necessary, which is a major relief for me; if the wolf-side of me wanted me to go as far as to seriously injure Raph to have him near death, I'd rather injure and beat myself until I'm the one at death's door instead of living for the rest of my life with the guilt that I killed my brother and destroyed my family once they figured out why I did it.
Sadly, that isn't my only problem I have at the moment... Lately, my instincts have been driving me crazy lately: Whenever there was a problem or there's something that has caught my attention, I would have this weird voice in my head, telling me what to do... And lately, as long as I could remember the moment I'd opened my eyes, it's been telling me to leave... And when I mean 'leave', I mean leave my family, my home, and go off on my own... Which I almost did so many times ever since I turned seven years old.
The first time I attempted to leave them, I actually almost did it. After waiting for everybody to be deep in their sleeps in their own rooms, which I've waited until it was about two in the morning, I quietly got out of my room and silently made my way towards the entrance/exit of our home. The moment I was outside of the Lair, my heart was pounding with mere excitement and my legs were shaking with anticipation. I smile with the thoughts on where should I go and what should I do once I would be as far away from home and that's when I took off down the train-tracks on all-four. Despite Splinter having me to stop running on all-four and getting me to walk on just my feet like a 'normal person' would do when I was still a toddler, I never stop doing what I love to do and what I'm good that, which is acting how I fit and see as normal to me.
Yes... Freedom... Keep moving forward, and claim your freedom!
I was going to listen to my instincts that time. I was going to ignore whatever my conscience was going to tell me and continue on with my plan.
No!... Too soon! Go back! Your family needs you and you need them! Turn back!
By the time I've reached the ladder that leads to a manhole cover, I felt goosebumps running down my arms with excitement and when I grasped on one of the poles of the ladder, I knew that I would soon be getting my freedom and all I need to do his climb to the very top.
You must stop! This isn't right, and you know that! Please, go back to the Lair and pretend this never happened!
No, don't stop! Keep going! You're ready for this; Alpha has trained you to fight and survive, even allowed you to venture out in the sewers on your own! You're ready to leave Pack! They'll get over your departure and move on! Keep climbing!
I made my climb up the ladder, my mind thinking and wondering what we should do the very moment we get up there, while my heart thumped in a fast rhythm of mere excitement that I'm finally going to do something for me and not my pack. I knew that once I get up to the surface, there was no going back and I wouldn't have it any other way. Just as I placed my hand on the manhole cover, I suddenly froze still... I wasn't sure what it was that stopped me, but the very moment I placed my hand on the manhole cover, my excitement and relief instantly vanished and were replaced with confusion and regret.
You can't go! You have no idea what's up there, you don't know what to expect once you get to the surface and you're still a child! You have to stay down, learn about the world above the sewers from Father, then you'll be ready to leave.
Even at the young age of seven, I knew that what my conscience was telling me was both the truth and a lie. It was right when it told me that I wasn't ready and still needed time, but it also lied to me that I'll be ready to leave once I learned what about the world above my Den, the Lair, from Sensei. But even when I knew that it was preventing me from leaving, I had to face facts that it was right and, reluctantly, so did my instincts.
Head back to Den. Pack mustn't know what you almost did. Remain with Pack, learn more from Alpha, then leave when you are older and stronger.
Letting out a breath of regret and staring up at the manhole cover above me for the last time, I quietly and slowly climbed down the ladder, ran back to the Lair on all-four, then instantly made a beeline for my room after making sure by my hearing and smell that my Pack, my family, are still asleep and within their rooms... I still remember that feeling when I almost left the sewers, it was something that I've been wanting to feel for so long and wished to forever have that feeling be with me. However, if my instincts tells me that it isn't time, even if my conscience was the cause to have it change its mind, then it isn't the right time and my instincts had never let me down or lead me astray without reason. While as for my conscience, it always seem to know of the downfall or pour choice of decision my instincts would make and would come up with another suggestion that would either be safe for me to do, or to at least have my instincts get second thoughts of what I should do and would either agree with my conscience or come up with another idea that would be better than its last suggestion.
I just really wish that they would both tell me when I can finally get out of here and leave this place behind; exploring the sewers had helped me burn off some energy and allowed me to be myself as I pleased, which includes running on all-four, letting out howls as loud as I can let out and to finally have my alone time all to myself. Unfortunately, it still wasn't enough and it'll never be enough if I'm going just through the same tunnels and sewers over and over again. And eventually, my alone time can easily be stripped away from me if my brothers were to follow me or pest me to have them come with me to explore the underground parts of New York City. Master Splinter has already taken away most of my free time I used to have in midday by having me join him in the extra-training and Meditation Sessions, I don't want him to take away my free time that I have on the weekends and force me to spend time with him and/or my brothers. Basically, Saturdays and Sundays, after morning Training Sessions, are the only days I have for myself and I'll be damned if he takes away whatever last chance of freedom and happiness I have down here!
"Yo, Leo!" Michelangelo's voice cries out from the other side of Leo's bedroom door, gaining the older turtle's attention from writing any more of his thoughts into his journal. "Master Splinter wants us all in the Dojo to train." Leo let out a quiet sigh, happy and grateful that he has locked his bedroom-door so that his brothers would stop barging in when he was doing something, which has been sleeping, listening to music, drawing inside his sketchbook or writing in his journal.
"Kay, I'll be there in a sec." He informed his youngest brother through the door, who accepted the answer and has most likely walked away from the door when the oldest turtle heard his footsteps heading towards the living room. After hearing his brother leaving the room, Leo went back into writing into his journal before he would close it for the day and out to the Dojo.
I keep asking myself, 'Why should I leave them?'... Better yet, 'Why haven't I left them already?', because lately, I've seen and thought of many reason to why I should leave them. Even though that we four have been born as quadruplets, I need my own space and time on being alone and away from my pack. Not only that, I've never truly bonded with my brothers on what we, all four of us, would like to do together and simply pretended that I've enjoyed the activities they like to do.
Mikey has a lot of hobbies and things he likes to do: Read comic books that he would find in the sewers, dance to whatever song he likes that plays on his boombox, draw heroes or all of us, cook (even though we've been eating Worms and Algae for the past thirteen years), pulling pranks on us (Especially Raph, even when he would end up getting pummeled in the end) and collecting whatever stuff he finds valuable.
Donnie, his hobbies are mostly to invent whatever he thinks would be useful to us and what he thinks would be cool to make, or to fix and repair whatever item gets broken (mostly caused by Raph and Mikey). He also likes to conduct experiments, read books and showing off any kind of gadget he made for us to see and adore him (which at times doesn't really work on Raph and/or Mikey, considering they would end up breaking his new ideas or just leave his technologies alone when they seem boring).
The things Raph likes to do are simple: Beating up the dummy Master Splinter set up for us, picking on us because he's 'the strongest turtle' of the group, trying to get me to argue with him for nonsense reasons and spending some time with his pet turtle, Spike, who I've found a few years ago in the sewers. I figured somebody decided to flush him down for the fun of it and thinking that Raph needs a friend who he can talk to, without acting like a big softie and able to keep his "tough guy" ego, I've given him Spike to have as his own companion.
Sensei enjoys meditating in silence (which half of the time isn't possible for him to get, because of my brothers making noises when they play), training all five of us as ninjas and having us all spending time together, as a family.
As for me... I've always enjoyed art (mostly been doing drawing, since I would rarely find any paint that survived being thrown into the sewer waters), writing poetry, playing an instrument, sing (or in other cases, howl) to music, and go off into the sewers to explore any new areas I've never been to or to look for any items that would be useful to my pack.
Unfortunately, none of my hobbies or ideas for fun never truly satisfy my brothers' interests and we would always end up playing childish games that either Sensei would suggest we play or a game my three brothers would agree to: Hide-n-seek, Tag (sometimes it would be Ninja-Tag), Leapfrog, Dodgeball (or Ninja-Dodgeball), Follow the Leader and a bunch of other childish games. They were just too easy for me and a waste of my time, that even both my instincts and conscience can agree to that (even though my conscience would tell me that I should try to enjoy whatever moments I have with my brothers, even when I'm not enjoying their choice of activity).
As for my bond with Sensei, it isn't all as it seems; the only way that I get to spend time with Master Splinter is by training, so I basically did the extra training and Meditation Sessions with him to spend time with him like he always wanted to do, not because I enjoyed or wanted to do it, myself... I guess when he saw me mimicking one of his Katas he's shown us at the age of four, he suggested that I should do extra training sessions with him and have me start meditating at an early age, stating that he sees a lot of potential inside of me that tells him I'm ready to advance at a higher level than my brothers... And I hated him for that.
Yes, I do love him and my brothers, and yes, I know that Sensei's doing this because he wants us to be prepare for the unexpected to come to us when we get older, but it's because of his 'suggestion' that I should do extra training and do meditation sessions with him, that Raph came to believe that I'm trying to be Sensei's favorite and is making it hard for me to try and bond with him even more than usual...
Maybe, it's about time that I should be planning on my escape, and this time, I'm gonna be sure that nothing is gonna be holding me back, especially if my family try to stop me from reaching my goal... I don't even care if I would have to make Sensei disown me in order for me to leave the pack, as long as I get my freedom and live the life I choose to have. Only then shall I truly be happy, and will continue on protecting/watching over them. I may want my freedom, but a wolf never betray or leave his pack unprotected, and I still made a vow and pledge that I shall protect my pack, my family... Even at the cost of my very life, I shall be there for them and will willingly put myself between them and to any signs of threat/danger that tries to come near them!
"Leo, come on! Sensei's getting impatient on having to wait on you!" Letting out a groan of annoyance from Raph's yelling from outside of the door, wincing from the headache forming in his head because of his brother's choice of volume for his voice, before he decided to end his journal writing for now. Not waiting for a reply back and knowing that he was going to come out, Leo listens to his footsteps leaving his door, heading for the direction of the Dojo that their training has always been placed in.
"Happy Mutation Day to you, too, Raph." Leo murmured to himself, getting off his bed and onto his feet, as he made a quick grab for his two Katanas, Musashi and Kamiizumi*, placed them inside their sheaths and made his way out of his room. "And another day of going through Hell, for me."
TBC
For those who think it's a dumb idea to post this sort of story, I'm sorry to hear that you don't approve of my choice on how the story will go.
And for those who're wondering how Leo, even as an infant, to know what words to think of, just know that the Mutagen gave the turtles enough intelligence to have them think up the words and to understand some of their meanings, but not enough to have them speak the words until they learn how to pronounce them from Splinter. I just made up the date, which by the way is going to be their birth (or mutation; can't find an original birthdate for them for 2012 Universe). And we all know that Leonardo's Katanas are originally called 'Ninjatō', though I don't know why they still call them Katanas.
As for the flashback when he was eight months old, he doesn't know his name until after Splinter called him Leonardo (which is why I kept referring to him as 'the boy', 'turtle', 'child', etc...), he didn't know Yoshi was turned into a rat after he told the boy of the very day that changed their lives (that's why he was referred to as 'rat', 'large-creature', etc...) or that he was his father until he compared the scent of his blood to the scent Splinter fur's carry.
*: In TMNT IDW, Leonardo has named his Katanas: Musashi and Kamiizumi, and that's what they shall be called in the story (not sure if his brothers also named their weapons).
PS: There won't be any Leorai (I think that's the couple name for Leonardo X Karai) Apritello (I need to look up if that's their couple name or not), and especially NO T-CEST. And yes, in my story, the turtles are Splinter's children (I don't believe in what the wiki say about the turtles being adoptive; they became humanoid-turtles when Yoshi was the last living-being that made contact with them, like the rat was the last living-being made contact with him, automatically making them his biological-sons by his DNA [and makes them half-brothers to Karai/Miwa]).
Okay? Okay. I hope there are at least some of you out there who will enjoy this story.
R&R