A friend of mine wrote this up and posted it a while back, but ended up removing it due to lack of interest. Well I'm interested! I went ahead and revised it, changed the style to match my own, and extended it a bit. Enjoy!
I don't own Naruto or Samurai Champloo. I never will. This is a work of fiction and not entirely accurate, so shut up and enjoy.
It was a time of economic growth, a time of art and culture, environmental protection policies, and expansion. It was also the time of strict social order, isolationist foreign policy, and crazed gangs. It was the Edo period. Our story begins here, in a small village, where four unlikely characters were in for a world of adventure.
"Am I being...narrated?" one spiky haired blonde whispered, ocean blue eyes darting around the empty space surrounding him currently being occupied by oxygen.
Shaking his head, the seventeen year old sighed and scratched the back of his head - all the while attempting to ignore the embarrassingly loud rumbling coming from his naval.
"This sucks..." he mumbled, slouching as he dragged the navy blue sandals that protected his bare feet through the dirt, all the while completely ignoring the strange looks he was receiving from random passers. He didn't care, not one bit. All he cared about was finding a nice big bowl of food, preferably Ramen, and then proceeding to devouring said bowl of food until he barfed..then he'd eat it again, somehow.
"I got no money, no job, and there isn't even a good brothel in this damn village!"
The blonde suddenly jerked his fist at the clouds, and shook it violently, his blue eyes narrowing into mere thin lines as a large frown formed on his face. He was onto Kami, or whatever bastard deity was throwing these cruel and unusual punishments his way.
"I'm delusional." he mumbled, realizing what fool he was making of himself. Oh well, at least people were making room for him. "At least no one's bothering me." he mused.
Usually he'd be up to his neck in assholes complaining about something that he did. Oh you stole my money! Oh you stole my clothes! Oh you stole my wife! What was it with people?
"Oi!"
Ah, there it was. That deity was really looking out for him on this one, he'd have to remember to stop by the nearest shrine, get some groceries, a bath, and then piss all over it, maybe even go a nice long number two for an added effect.
"Just ignore them Naruto..they'll go away." the blonde whispered.
It seemed that they wouldn't just go away, in fact, it seemed they were hell bent on getting the blondes attention.
"Oi! I'm talking to you blondie!"
"Maybe if I start running now, it'll give me a good head start?"
As he continued to ignore the roaches as he dubbed them, sed roaches were beginning to grow impatient at the blondes lack of...well...anything. By now, a crowd had formed around the blonde and the small group of thuggish looking guys - each literally taking on the stereotypical 'I'm a bad guy, and I'm ugly' look.
"Hey, freak with the ugly orange shirt! You hear me!?"
Ah, that did the trick. If there was three things Naruto loved, it was women, food, and the color orange. If there were three things you should never insult in front of Naruto, it was women, his food, or the color orange.
Now, to those who don't know the blonde very well...he has a bit of a temper.
Slowly turning around, Naruto gave the group the coldest glare he could muster - oceans freezing over into solid ice as he leveled each and every one of the pompous looking idiots who dared to insult his preferred color of choice.
"I'm giving you ten seconds to take back what you said." he growled lowly.
A few of the thugs actually took a step back at the maniacal glint in the blondes eyes, small beads of sweat trailing down their unkempt and dirty flesh. For a second, Naruto was almost certain they would apologize and leave him alone. Almost.
"You kidding me? I ain't apologizing for shit blondie!" the leader of the crew stated, a smirk growing as he snapped his fingers. The fatter shorter one next to him jumped into attention, then reached into the inside of his shirt and pulled out a small scroll. Unrolling it, the boss presented it to the still stone faced blonde and gave a wide grin. "This is you ain't it?" he asked.
Naruto analyzed the incredibly poor drawing of him - cross eyed, drooling, and a thought bubble that read 'I'm dumb' - yup, he was going to kill whoever made this. However, the spiky blonde hair and bright blue eyes were hard to miss.
"For the most part...yeah, what's it to you shithead?"
The boss clicked his tongue and rolled the picture back up then returned it to the chubby guy next to him. "I'll ignore that for now, seeing as we're going to kick that crap out of you either way and get our reward."
The word reward seemed to help the more nervous goons regained their footing - each giving the blonde a nasty smirk or sneer while reaching for their weapons.
"We're mercs under the perfect himself, and you'll be coming with us."
At the mention of the perfect, Naruto idly noticed a couple of people flinch from the crowd - it looked like this perfect was either liked, or a major ass.
Sighing, Naruto rolled his shoulders until he heard a satisfied 'pop' while he was doing this, the 'mercs' tensed, as did the spectators - a few of the braver ones putting in their own cent or two.
"Are you crazy mister!?" a random farmer who looked to be in his late sixties hissed "You got a death wish!? Messing with the perfects posse means trouble for all of us." He stressed the 'all' part, and some nodded in agreement.
Too bad Naruto didn't really care. Assholes were assholes, and as the self-proclaimed asswhoopin' dealing, orange profit - he was entitled to do due his duty and kick their ass.
"I'll cross the whole 'perfect' bridge when I get there."
Waving off the old mans concerns lazily, Naruto returned to his stretches as he rolled his neck and began to crack his knuckles. "Mah oji-san, you need to loosen up. I'll take care of these guys no problem."
The thugs laughed loudly at his proclamation, actually, they did more than just laugh, they found it downright hysterical.
"You?!" one of the thugs, this one tall and lanky hollered between breaths "You don't even have a weapon!"
"Not to mention there's seven of us, and one of you!" the chubby one continued, leaning on the boss for support as he continued to laugh.
Naruto however brushed off the insults and chose to give a wide grin, crossing his arms as he did so. "Ah, yes. My swords aren't with me at the moment, I traded them for some coin for food about three hours ago." the grin changed into a smirk, as the blonde entered a much more relaxed stance "Still, I don't really need them to kick your asses, neh?"
The thugs stopped laughing, and gave each other a small glance. The boss shrugged overconfidently and motioned for the skinny one to approach him. "Mino, teach this idiot a lesson. Make sure he's still breathing though, we need him alive for the reward."
Mino nodded as he pulled out his sword - the blade looked old, worn, unkempt and dirty - it brought an actual frown to the blondes face, although it was gone in a flash.
"You got it boss." the skinny guy responded with a pompous grin, his overly fat lips dangling in a kissy face. The idiot stepped forward and pointed the weapon at the still grinning blonde who continued to stand in a lax posture, bouncing up and down as he made a few jabs at an invisible opponent. This brought another roar of laughter from the 'mercs' as they watched the idiot blonde - at least in their eyes - bounce around. "
Ha! This guys serious!" the chubby one continued, leaning on the boss once again who himself had a stupid grin plastered on his face.
"Mah Mino, slice this guy up would ya?"
With an all too eager nod, Mino gripped his blade with both hands and rushed towards the blonde uttering an ear blasting battle cry of some sorts. "Uuuuuuuooooowahhhhhh!" he roared as he swung his blade horizontally, expecting to cleave the blonde in half with a single motion. Key word being expecting.
In all his years, Naruto had seen some ugly swordplay - but this guy was like a toddler swinging around a zanpaktou, way to slow, no formal training, and nothing but talk. So, as soon as he saw Mitos wrist flex, he instinctively knew what the sluggish thug would do.
To all other spectators, Naruto gave a wide grin and was eagerly accepting his death - to the blonde however, he was about to do what he did best - kick some serious ass.
At the very last second, the blonde ducked the blade and proceeded to leg sweep the pathetic excuse for a swordsman, leaving a thin trail of dust in his wake as his leg skimmed over the dirt. A sickening crack was heard as the force of the blow was enough to actually break Mitos tibia. The skinny thug could only squeal like a pig as the spine rocking pain erupted from his right shin - it all happened so fast - and by the time Mito hit the ground with a painful thud, Naruto was already on the other six, a maniacal grin on his face.
"Mess with the bull!" the blonde hollered as he dived towards the annoying fat one, delivering a powerful haymaker strong enough to knock some teeth out in a single blow "Get fucked up!"
Cue dj mix sound, and scene change.
Fuu could barely believe the shit luck she was having all today since coming into work. It wasn't all that bad at first, the tea house had been doing fine for the first hour and a half - that was until the perfects son walked in, along with his thugs. That's when all the trouble started for her. Not only where they hitting on the rest of the waitresses in a rather obscene manner, calling it 'fun' and asking them to leave - but they were picking on an innocent poor old man.
Then some wavy haired jerk had the gall to ask her for sixty dumplings! Sixty! Free of charge! Just to deal with the perfects son - don't get her wrong, it was a tempting offer - but sixty was a little overboard, so she settled for twenty. That didn't seem to fly with the wavy haired jerk, and he just took to leaning on the table with his feet dangling over the edge completely ignoring her.
"He's not even that cute." she mused to herself with a huff as she made her way over to the perfects son, the blonde haired douche kept calling her over for their drinks - and if she didn't hurry up he'd throw a fit.
"Hey! Hurry the hell up would ya! I got things to do!" the perfects son growled, then turned to the two uncomfortable women on his side and gave them a leering grin. "So like I was sayin baby.." the pig began.
Fuu sighed to herself and sped up the pace - if she would have been any wiser she would have watched the ground for any loose sandals - however, she didn't. With a slight yelp, the brown haired teen fell forward, the tray of drinks in her hand falling in almost slow motion as one of the tea cups spilled all over the now livid blonde, staining his yakuta.
"Boss! You alright!" one of his guys, a lanky fellow with a bald head cried. He didn't even wait for a response as he rushed a still downed Fuu, roughly picked her up by the hair and slammed her onto the table.
"Apologize you brat!" the thug ordered, a bit of spit falling from his mouth.
Fuu winced as her cheek hit the hardwood, and began to sweat as the guy started yelling at her "Learn to say it not spray it!" she cried mentally, not that she would ever say that out loud.
"Mah Roku, that's enough." the spoiled son stated as he brushed of the last of the sticky liquid from his face and chest, then giving a sly smile he leaned forward a bit so he could whisper to Fuu "I'm sure she didn't mean it, did ya?"
Fuu shook her head a vigorous no, hoping that somehow she could be forgiven. "Argh, this is all that wavy haired jerks fault!" her light brown eyes shifted to the strange looking fighter, and she resisted the urge to sweat drop as he was still laying lazily over the table, continuing to watch on with a knowing cocky smirk.
"See, I knew it! Nothing but an accident!" the fake blonde stated, glancing around the room - the sly smirk on his face told of a different story "However, this was my favorite shirt! I'll need some form of payment...I think a finger should do it."
Fuus eyes grew to the size of plates and she began to squirm, all the while screaming bloody murder - the owners could only watch on with pained expressions as another of the thugs grabbed her face and gave it a quick slam to shut her up. Oh how they wished they could do something, but this was the prefectural governors son - there was nothing they could do.
The 'wavy haired jerk' continued to observe with a lazy stare, his narrow dark eyes looking almost uninterested "Man, this chick has balls. She'll come around though." he mused, another cocky knowing smirk falling into his tan stubble face.
"Hey boss! Let me do this, I've been itching to cut something with my new sword!" another of his men stood, a devious grin plastered on his face as he pointed the arguably new looking blade at the girl.
"Tch, go for it Ryujiro."
Ryujiro nodded and made his way over to the girl, who's left hand had by now been extended forward for an easier cut "Boy, I'm gonna enjoy this! Hold steady will ya, or you just might lose more than a finger."
That did it - somehow, Fuu knew should regret making this choice, but at the moment it didn't matter - if that lazy bastard could do what he said he could, and she could keep her arm, than that was all that mattered. So, in a moment of complete adrenaline induced fear she lifted her head and screamed.
"100 Dumplings!"
"Alright! Now we're talking!" All eyes turned to the now standing stranger, a savage smirk on his face as he drew the strange blade sheathed on his back "Looks like you idiots just got sold off."
"What!?" Ryujiro stated, moving the blade from Fuus thumb and pointing it at the cocky stranger, an angry snarl twisted onto his ugly face "Who the hell are you fluffhead!?"
The stranger grinned as he approached the angered Ryujiro with a confident swagger about himself, bouncing the strange sword on his shoulder.
"Me? I'm the guy who's about to kill all of you punks for 100 dumplings." the shaggy haired stranger remarked, stopping just a few inches away from the outstretched blade.
Ryujiro grinned, and tilted his head so he was facing the boss "You hear that boss!? He's going to kill us!" he mocked.
The perfects son merely smirked as he intertwined his fingers, and leaned into them eyes shut "Show this punk some manners will ya?" the blonde ordered.
"With pleasure!" Ryujiro responded.
The rather ugly thug returned his attention to the still grinning stranger and placed both hands on the hilt of his katana, then with a loud cry swung the blade. The resonating wet crunch of steel meeting flesh and bone echoed throughout the tea house, and to the shock of many, the stranger was now behind Ryujiro - blade outstretched and back slightly tilted - the smirk on his face told all. "Fast!" Fuu marveled under her voice.
"W-Wha?" Ryujiro stuttered, feeling an intense burning sensation course through his right arm and outwards towards his whole body. Not a second later he erupted into pained screams as his arm fell limply on the ground - a pool of blood forming around the severed appendage.
"Who's next?" The strangers smirk could rival the devils.
Bespectacled eyes watched the scene before him - along with many others - with growing disgust. If there was one thing he hated, it was samurai who willingly followed under cruel leaders for the sake of money or power.
The man before him had all but been embarrassed publicly, and was now at the mercy of three 'superior' samurai under the prefectural governors' orders. The short fat slob was literally a walking textbook description of cruel and twisted political leaders.
He had already been warned of the 'superior' samurai by a villager behind him, and while it was a gesture of kindness in the villagers' eyes, to him it was but a mere insult. Those three were weak, he could already tell - at least in comparison to him.
So without another moment's hesitation, he stepped out of the crowd and onto the clearing calmly making his way to the bridge - only to be stopped by the three samurai who had now turned their attention to him, as expected.
"Hey! What are you doing!?" the slob demanded, a small frown on his fat lipped face.
The bespectacled samurai merely leveled him with a calm indifferent gaze - calculative dark eyes reflecting nothing, "I'm merely trying to make my way through, just as we all are." he responded coolly.
The governor gave a loud laugh from within his method of transportation, the dozen or so other samurai behind him shared a look as well. Did this guy not just see what had happened?
"Well, it'd be quite rude of me to deny you. However, I'm sure you realize by now, I won't be moving until that fool is properly punished. ", he paused eyeing the stranger "Unless you have enough money to cover his mistakes?" At the strangers' silence, the governor snorted and gave a dismissive wave to his three elites.
"As expected, deal with this shall you."
The three men nodded, and fingered the hilts of their blades. The crowd that had gathered whimpered nervously at the sight and backed up a few steps, not wanting to be caught in the bloodbath.
"Tell me." the dark haired stranger began, fixing his glasses with one hand - expression still unchanging "Do you find honor in fighting for your lord?"
The three looked slightly thrown off by the question and shared a glance. "Of course! A ronin like you however, wouldn't understand." the first, one with a goatee, responded – pride clearly evident in his tone - while the other two nodded.
The ronin nodded in approval at their answer.
"I see." he then paused "Even when your lord is nothing but trash?" The insult floored almost everyone as whispers broke among the crowd behind them.
"Is he crazy!?"
"The fools in for it now!"
The governor himself looked like he could spit hot acid - if looks could kill, the quiet ronin would be dead in a mere heartbeat.
"What the hell did you say you pale brat!?"
The calm ronin did nothing, he simply chose to ignore the short man's cries of outrage and placed a hand on the longer of the two katanas sheathed by his side. "If you wish to defend your lord, then come."
"Kill him!"
Without any further orders, the three 'elites' unsheathed their blades with impressive speed and rushed the still ronin who continued to observe with calculative eyes.
"Too slow." he mumbled - already seeing the fatal flaws in their attacks. With a quick draw of his blade, the ronin seemed to almost walk calmly through them, swiping at their weak points. Ribs. Neck. Heart. In three quick swings, the battle was over - the three elites succumbing to the greater warrior as they fell to the ground, dead.
To everyone else, there was a brief flash of steel and then silence.
"Ah...ah..."
Well, it looked like the prefectural governor had realized his mistake. "Maybe I'll grab a small bite to eat after this." he mused, glancing at the forsaken money on the ground - then at the shell shocked man that was previously bowing in an apologetic manner "I'm sure he won't mind if I take some as payment for saving his life."
"Nice doing business with you old man!" Naruto stated as he walked out of the shop, two sheathed blades held proudly in his hand - one seemed to be completely wrapped in white bandages however, while the other was held in a bright orange sheath.
"Oh my babys! I'm so sorry! Daddy was hungry!" he cooed, rubbing the two katanas into his cheek affectionately.
To anyone else, he looked like some crazy guy in an orange gi rubbing two swords to his face like they were his long lost parents. "Weird." was the collective thought of most of the villagers.
"Boy, I'm actually glad I ran into those assholes." the blonde mumbled as he strapped the two blades onto his person. The hidden blade was placed on his back, while the blade in the orange sheath was fastened securely to his side.
After a successful ass-kicking he found that the idiots actually carried some money on them, enough to get him his babies back and a little left over for some food! At the thought of food, the blonde felt his mouth water.
"I can't wait to get something to eat!" he thought, rubbing his bandaged belly. It was a good thing the village wasn't too big, nothing compared to his old home, or some of the other places he'd traveled through.
"Let's see...food food food. Where are you food?" Naruto narrowed his eyes and placed a hand over his eyebrows, shadowing the sun so he could get a better look at things.
"Aha!" he cried happily, a grin falling over his face as he laid eyes on a nice little tea house "That looks perfect!"
Without a second thought, the blonde rushed towards the tea house, mind consumed by the thoughts of tangy tasty food and stopping the annoying rumbling in the pit of his naval. He was so excited, that he barely even registered the fact that the only reason he hadn't trampled over anyone yet was because they moved out of his way - fearful of his speedy rampage. In a very Naruto-fashion, the blonde entered the tea house by kicking the small curtains open and stomping his foot on the floor, the wide grin now threatening to split his face in half.
"Oi! Let me get the house special! One of everything!" he proclaimed. "What the..?"
Fuu could only curse her luck. Seriously! First the crazy guy with the fluffy hair, and now a blonde wearing way too much orange - she was really getting tired of guys with swords and eccentric personalities. "This settles it, my decision is definitely made!"
Naruto however was completely oblivious to the ongoing thoughts and ludicrous stares - it was only after the few seconds of silence that he decided to actually take a gander around the tea house to see what the holdup was.
"Uh…am I interrupting?" he asked.
Before him was a severed arm, some guy with a red gi and short pants currently breaking the fingers of some whimpering fake-blonde, while everyone else was backed up into a corner watching on with fearful eyes.
"Who the fuck are you?" the fluffy haired guy asked, narrow eyes turning to stare into almond shaped blue.
Naruto stared back. The weird guy stared back. Naruto didn't falter. The two seemed to glare into each other until the taller one grinned and let go of the perfects sons' hand, giving it a final twist as a sickening crack sounded - signifying a broken wrist. The fake-blonde gave a yelp and gripped his hand in absolute pain as he fell back onto the floor.
"You one of those three badasses I've been hearing about?" the stranger questioned, ignoring the screams of the downed idiot.
Naruto raised a single blonde eyebrow "Well, I'm definitely a badass. I don't know of any other three though. Names Naruto!" he proclaimed with a grin.
The stranger gave another smirk and nodded "Mugen." he then lifted his blade and charged, clearing the distance between the two in less than a second.
Steel clashed with steel and sparks flew as Mugen and Naruto stood in a deadlock, both struggling to gain supremacy. Narutos grin was now gone, replaced with a frown as he gave a mighty shove - causing Mugen to rocket back, only for the taller of the two to place a single hand on the floor and do a somersault.
"Strong." Mugen mused with a grin.
Naruto however was staring at the opposite swordsman with something akin to admiration "Whoa! That was sweet! How the hell did you do that flip thing?!"
The taller of the two smirked and hefted his blade over his shoulder while tapping his foot on the ground "I like you kid. Gonna be a real shame killing you."
Narutos only response was to grin.
In a flash, the two were at it again, the spectators watching with awe - never having seen such a battle of skill. Where Mugen was chaotic and wild, while still being flexible and using his feet to fight in a strange dance kind of way. Naruto was strong and unpredictable, the blonde fought with his hands and body just as much as he did with his blade - although not as acrobatically gifted as Mugen, his strength was ever present when he actually managed to crack a nearby table in half with the force of his blow.
"You're really good kid! Where'd you learn to fight like that?!" Mugen questioned, ducking under a swipe as he tensed his thighs and then bolted up, knee outstretched to deliver a devastating blow to the blondes torso.
Naruto however was fully prepared, catching the knee with his free hand and then bringing the bottom of his hilt down with enough force to break bone, only for Mugen to twist his upper body to the left -narrowly missing what could have been a crushing blow.
"Your mom's house!" the blonde hollered, pushing back on the knee and getting some distance at the same time.
The taller samurai clicked his tongue and scowled "What are you five?" he asked, flipping up into a standing position.
Naruto blew a raspberry. Solidifying to Mugen that he was indeed, like a five year old.
Feeling his brow twitch, Mugen only grunted and rushed the blonde once more "He hits like a freaking bull, so close combat is out of the question, can't let him touch me." Good thing he was a lot faster.
Steel met steel once more as the two clashed repeatedly, sparks actually flying from the force of the blows. This would have continued, had the small jingle of bells broken the two out of their fight.
All eyes turned to the quiet ronin who entered the tea house, only to come right in between two very sharp and deadly blades.
"I apologize, I'll take my business elsewhere." he spoke calmly.
"Hold it!" Mugen stated - today must have been his lucky day, not just one, but two strong fighters. The guy didn't even flinch at having two swords inches away from severing his head from his body, not to mention he reeked of fresh blood!
The stranger turned to him, but otherwise said nothing. "Are you one of those three badasses?"
The ronin only raised a single delicate eyebrow "If you're referring to the three samurai I recently disposed of, then no."
Mugen grinned and flexed his arm, while Naruto took that as another attack towards him.
"Even better!" he cried.
Bringing his blade down, Naruto responded with a similar action, while the stranger continued to stand still.
Fuu couldn't help it, the perfects son and his thugs were one thing, even the blonde for being so loud, but this guy hadn't done a single thing to deserve this "Move!" she cried.
Clang!
All eyes were on the stranger as he in one fluid motion blocked both attacks, his own blade pressed against Naruto and Mugens - although his arm was trembling from having to withstand an attack from the powerful duo.
Letting his momentum fall the stranger stepped back, catching both of them by surprise as they fell due to the force they were dishing out. The ronin took the split-second as a prime chance for a counterattack and with fluid grace swung his blade. He however was not expecting such quick responses from the two - while Mugen simply ducked, and then swung his own blade before flipping back.
Naruto however had a different idea. Taking the blow head on, then simultaneously grabbing the blade with his hand and yanked forward. He effectively pulled the ronin towards him before delivering a quick swipe of the sword.
The ronin winced as the cold steel cut his flesh, but ignored the pain and chose to dive to the side over a small table to escape the suicidal blonde - dragging the bare blade over his attackers' palm.
Blood fell from all three sides as they each noticed their wounds. Mugen had a steep cut over his right arm where blood fell freely, while Jin received a blow of his own over his side from Narutos rather unorthodox attack and a small gash across his cheek from Mugen - the blonde himself carried a heavy gash over his left palm from where he met Jins attack head on.
Fuu and the rest of the spectators could hardly believe their eyes, even the screaming spoiled son had paused his whimpering to gape. "These three are insane." She mused to herself. Insanely good.
Mugen shifted his eyes from the grinning blonde to the stoic stranger and couldn't help the smirk that grew over his features. "What's your name?" he asked the spectacled man.
"Jin." he responded simply.
"Naruto!" the blonde exclaimed, pounding his bloody hand over his exposed chest with pride.
"Mugen." the tallest of the three ended the brief introduction.
In a flash, the three met once more swords clanging as they danced around the whole tea house. By now the spectators had realized just how dangerous they were and ran for the exit, some screaming their heads off in terror. This was all ignored however as they continued to clash, seemingly perfectly balanced as they fought. One wild. One fierce. One calm.
From her spot in the corner, Fuu could only continue to watch on - mesmerized at their skill. It was only when the elderly couple that ran the place grabbed her arm and motioned her to run that she snapped out of her trance and followed suit. The last thing she saw as she stepped out into daylight was the guy who had lost his arm to Mugen dropping a small match onto a puddle of gasoline and then laughing manically as he ran off.
"Is it just me or is it really hot in here!?" Naruto stated as he ducked a swipe and then countered with a swing of his own.
"The tea house seems to be on fire." Jin acknowledged as he parried an attack from Mugen, who at the same time flipped over the spiky haired blondes extended sword.
"No kidding smartass!" he hollered.
The three met in another clash in the middle of the kitchen and then pushed back, each landing a few feet opposite of each other.
"Fitting stage don't you think?' Mugen asked with a small smirk.
"Too fucking hot!" Naruto moaned as he removed his orange gi, revealing his half bandaged naval and exposed torso.
"I agree." Jin spoke, brushing his locks as he sat in a large cauldron filled with water naked, seemingly enjoying a warm bath.
"Huh?" Mugen murmured "Gah! It's too cold!" he cried, shaking his sword around as he realized it actually caught fire.
"Peace and love brother!' Naruto, now clad in nothing stated as he held up a peace sign, waving his arms around as he danced suggestively by the flames - the only thing obscuring his privates being the smoke.
"Wait…what?"
"Wake up you worthless maggots!"
Three buckets of ice cold water were poured onto the unconscious faces of Naruto, Mugen, and Jin. The three stirred, and then awoke to an upside down world - courtesy of them being hung upside down by their feet.
"What…what the hell happened?" Mugen grumbled, attempting to wipe his face, only to realize his arms were bound behind his back.
He wasn't the only one in a similar predicament it seemed as he glanced next to him to see a squirming and thrashing blonde, while Jin remained as calm as ever next to the youngest of the three.
"Oi! Let me down! I didn't do anything wrong! It was all the fluffy haired guys fault!"
Mugen grew a tick mark, and glared daggers at Naruto "What was that you little shit!?"
"You're both yelling in my ear." Jin murmured, annoyed.
"All of you shut up!"
The three turned their sights to the short man before them surrounded by a number of samurai guards. Jin immediately recognized him as the prefectural governor whose men he had killed not even an hour ago and realized he was screwed.
Mugen snorted, and simply chose to shut his eyes and ignore the fat slob, while Naruto continued to thrash about and scream curses.
"Shut him up!" the governor ordered.
"Hai! Shibui-sama!"
One of the guards grabbed a wooden paddle and delivered a powerful blow to the back of the blondes head - to the surprise of many, the paddle broke as soon as it made contact with the blondes' thick skull.
"Ow! Fuck!" Naruto cried, feeling the lump that was slowly growing from the base of his skull.
The guard merely stared dumbfounded, as did everyone else - even Jin seemed to be genuinely surprised. "What the hell is his head made of?"
Shrugging the event off as a weak wood, the governor coughed into his hand to re-capture the attention, and then gave the three a wicked grin.
"You three are responsible for the burning of the local tea house, as well as the manslaughter of my men." he began, a wicked smirk on his pudgy face "It's even more unfortunate for you all that my son died in that fire. I, Matsunosuke Shibui, will not allow such heinous acts to go unpunished. For the next twelve hours, you all will be receiving the best treatment I can offer before your execution tomorrow." he explained, the wicked smirk growing into a cruel and sinister grin.
Jin gave a small sigh, while Mugen just returned the sinister grin "When I get out of here, I'm going to gut your fat piggy ass." the wild warrior stated.
"Hahaha! I look forward to it my boy!" Shibui responded, placing his hands behind his back "Now then, if you'll excuse me-"
"Wait! My swords! What did you do with them!?' Naruto questioned, a slight dire tone to his outburst.
"Your swords? Oh, they'll be kept as trophies. Hell, I may even sell them, that hidden blade of yours may fetch a good price." he responded with a laugh.
Naruto gave an animalistic sneer at the mention of his blades - it actually made the perfect take a step back from the sheer hatred in the blondes blue eyes - seeing as so far, he had only shown to be quite the clumsy goofball to them,even if he was a capable fighter.
"Don't. Touch. My. Swords!" he hissed.
If it wasn't for the fact that he was surrounded by a multitude of samurai guards, and the blonde being tied up and defenseless, Shibui would have actually began to sweat from the sheer murderous intent.
"Ohoho!" the short man laughed nervously in a weak attempt to still keep his bravado "Don't you worry about your blades brat, I'm sure they'll be kept nice and clean by the highest bidder!"
Naruto began to squirm and budge, his anger fueling his already above normal strength. The sound of rope slowly tearing put everyone on guard. The small droplets of blood that fell from behind the blonde were all the indication needed.
"I knew he was strong, but holy shit!" Mugen mused. To actually be able to break rope with nothing but sheer strength and will alone! This kid must have done some serious training!
Jin himself was analyzing the enraged blonde "Those blades must either be very valuable, or hold some form of sentimental value." His money was on the second option, seeing as the blonde didn't really look like he cared too much about currency.
"Restrain him!" Shibui ordered quickly, pointing a shaky finger at the still squirming blonde.
The samurai acted quickly, grabbing the blonde and holding him tightly as one of them quickly applied a triple knot to the blondes' hands and then wrapped his whole body in rope. Strong as he may be no one could break out of that.
"Shut that mouth of his too!" the fat slob ordered.
With a nod, the samurai guard who bound the triple knot placed a white sheet of cloth into the blondes' mouth quickly - avoiding getting his fingers chomped off.
With the danger successfully restrained, Shibui returned his attention to the other two. "Have a good night gentlemen, I'll be seeing you around sunset for a public style execution. In the meantime, enjoy your comforting stay in the former 'torture' barracks."
The fat man then walked off with a pompous laugh.
"This is going to suck so much." Mugen grumbled as the guards slowly approached, each with a different weapon of their own in hand.
"Agreed." Jin responded.
"Hmmphhmmhmmh." Naruto mumbled.
The next twelve hours were spent with the three going through various torture methods which involved, but were not limited to. Beating. Drowning. Burning. Pulling. Pushing. Crushing. Tearing. Twisting. Snapping. Breaking. Popping. Choking. Smashing. Turning. Ripping. And of course, the ever favorite, insulting.
Finally, the three were thrown into a cell by dawn gasping for air and colored black and blue all over, with the ever present red of course.
"F-Fuck.." Mugen mumbled, attempting to lift his head, only for it to drop back down in exhaustion.
"T-Those...b-bastards.." Naruto wheezed, gasping for any air he could - the last torture for him was constant suffocation by water and cloth.
"When I get my hands on that little shit stain excuse of a human being, I'm going to tear out his fucking heart and eat it right before his family, then I'll-" Jins own thought process was something along those lines as he fought for breath as well, his body aching and sore - with a constant pulsing pain that was driving him mad.
"D-Dammit, I'm g-going to fucking kill that p-pig." Mugen stuttered, wincing at the pain in his chest and throat, and well, everything.
"G-Get in line.." Naruto responded, still gasping for breath.
"Y-You both are to b-blame for t-this." Jin whispered, tilting his head to glare at the two sprawled out next to him "You." he began, gesturing towards Mugen "Y-You and you're w-wild tendencies. Y-You f-fight like a-an animal, no skill, n-no technique." He then shifted his attention to Naruto "A-And you, y-you use y-your own body a-as a weapon, you suicidal i-idiot."
The two were about to cry out in outrage, and throw a couple of insults of their own, but stopped when the normally quite ronin let his head fall back into place and slowly shut his eyes.
"Y-Yet, you're the only one's I-I haven't been able to k-kill." he finished fondly. It was a true testimony to their strength and it slightly excited the dark haired ronin. It had been a long time since he had ever even faced such a challenge.
From out of nowhere, Naruto gave a small chuckle, then the chuckle developed into full blown laughter. Mugen and Jin gave him a curious glance, but the blonde was too busy laughing to answer their question. It seemed contagious however, as Mugen himself gave a small smirk - unlike his usual cocky one - while Jin sufficed with a small smile.
Finally, as the laughter died down, Naruto spoke "At least i-if I die, it won't be with a b-bunch of pansies."
Mugen only snorted in amusement, while Jin gave a small chuckle - it seemed they both agreed. As they settled into a comfortable silence, each dwelling on their own thoughts - a new familiar voice whispered to them from outside their cage.
"You guys sure do seem pretty relaxed for dead men."
Three pairs of eyes locked with delicate light brown.
"The waitress?"
"You."
"Who the fuck are you?"
Fuu narrowed her eyes at the last comment, and glared at the mop of blonde hair the belonged to the one and only Naruto.
"What do you mean who the fuck am I!? You were destroying the place I work at! Remember?"
Naruto simply stared at her blankly "Nope, sorry, I don't commit anyone with B and over to memory."
Mugen would have given him an actual high five at that, if he could move his arms. Fuu however, did not appreciate the joke.
"Fine, stay here and rot! I was going to help you guys escape, but never mind! You can blame blondie over there for that!"
Three pairs of eyes widened, and two turned to glare at the third.
"W-Wait!" Naruto stated "I-I'm sorry! Please don't leave us here!" he apologized, comical tears streaming down his face.
Fuu looked as if she was contemplating it - to be honest, she was going to help them either way, seeing as she could use the three ronin for her little adventure.
"Hmm, okay. Only if you address me as Fuu-sama."
Blue eyes widened "What!? Go fu-"
"He'll do it!" Jin stated suddenly, stopping the blonde from finishing that sentence with a sharp glare. "Good!" she chirped as she reached behind her and pulled out a lock pick - then waving it around with a coy smile "Although, there's one more thing you have to promise. All three of you."
Mugen, Jin, and Naruto all shared a glance, then turned their attention back to Fuu, or more specifically, the lock pick. Sighing, the three nodded.
"Awesome! It's just one small favor, nothing too serious!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever, get to picking girl!" Mugen ordered.
With a huff, Fuu kneeled down and began to pick the lock - the small tinkering sounds echoed through the darkness for what felt like hours to the four. Growing impatient with the silence, Mugen asked the question that was on everyone's mind.
"What kind of favor is this anyways?"
"Nothing big." Fuu responded, not bothering to look at the three as she continued to fiddle with the lock "I just need your help in finding someone, a samurai who smells of sunflowers."
"Sunflowers?" the three chorused mentally. After a few more seconds, all ears perked up to the sound of a loud final click - only it was the sound of the lock pick breaking.
"Dammit!" Fuu hissed.
"Over here! He said she went to see the prisoners!" the guards cried from the distance, the sounds of multiple footsteps approaching quickly.
"Ah, oh no!" Fuu stated, quickly getting up "I gotta go! I'll free you somehow! Remember the promise!" she stated as she ran off.
Not even a few seconds later, a group of guards rushed by, then the sound of Fuu tumbling and falling, then finally giving one final cry as she made her escape.
Naruto, Mugen, and Jin sweat dropped at the strange girl. "Why did she even come…?" Mugen whispered. Naruto and Jin couldn't help but agree.
"Well, here we are." Naruto commented as the three were put to their knees before the perfect and his men - it looks like they'd learned for the last time too, putting double the restraints on the blonde.
"Yeah, here we are." Mugen grumbled.
"I hope you two have made peace with each other." Jin stated, a small knowing smile on his face.
They each still had fresh bruises and cuts, but after the whole torture fiasco - they were given the rest of the waiting period to 'mourn'.
Mugen smirked at the bespectacled ronin "Every day I live, I ask myself. Will this be the last day I feel the light of the sun."
Naruto however was more fixated on the blades held in his executioners' hands - his blades. Glancing around, it seemed that they wished to end their lives using their own blades. Mugens executioner held Mugens sword, while Jins executioner held his. All three were forced to face the grinning face of the pompous asshole known as Matsunosuke Shibui, the fat slob seemed very pleased with himself today.
"Vagrant Mugen!" he began, voice loud so that all could hear him "Vagrant ronin Jin! Vagrant Naruto! You are to be held guilty for several crimes, and are to be executed via decapitation!" Shibui then leaned down and whispered "Any last words? Are you ready to grovel at my feet and beg for forgiveness?"
Mugen only smirked, and spit on the ground before the governor "If living means I have to beg to a worthless piece of shit like you, I'd rather die with my head held high!"
"Well said." Jin applauded "I agree with him."
Shibui faltered for a second, his face growing red as he seethed with anger before returning to his usual cocky demeanor.
"Very well." he turned to his men, and gave the order - watching with satisfaction as the executioners raised their blades "Have a pleasant stay in hell."
As they blades came down, time seemed to slow for a second - the viewer's held their breaths, while Fuu, who had just climbed the roof reached into her yukata and pulled out two firecrackers could only gasp. "Am I too late!?"
"Now!" Mugen exclaimed mentally. Flipping onto his back, he swept himself up and began to spin rapidly, legs extended as they kicked his sword out of the executioners' hand. He then rolled forward and jumped up, just as Jin rolled over to Mugens blade and rubbed the rope on the sharp end, freeing himself - then in quick succession, he brought the blade up and sliced through his own executioner, taking his sword in the process and cutting Mugen free.
"Yo! What about me!" Naruto cried as he rolled out of the way of another attack, his bindings prevented him from doing much but ducking and dodging.
Mugen grunted and rushed his attacker stabbing his sword through his gut then quickly ripping it out. Blood gushed from the wound, but there was no time to admire his work as he grabbed onto Narutos sword and used it to cut his bindings before tossing it to him.
"Thanks!' the blonde spoke with gratitude, ducking under a sword swipe - then giving a quick jerk, sliced his attackers jugular.
"Dammit!" Shibui cried, gripping the last of Narutos swords in his hand tightly as he pointed at the three
"Kill them! Kill them all!" he ordered as he turned to run.
Naruto, Mugen, and Jin faced each other back to back and then gave a quick nod in agreement. Their fight was postponed for now. In a flash, the three jumped into action with speed and skill obtained only through years of training, they cut down anyone who dared challenge them.
Jin effectively weaved through groups of men, using the barest of movements to cut them down - not a single droplet of blood stained his clothing.
Mugen on the other hand pounced around using his superior speed and agility to take down his enemies along with his strange breakdancing fighting style.
Naruto however was in simple words, a juggernaut - his strength allowed him to tear through his enemies one by one, not even ganging up on him could help much as he either switched between using his sword or his fists to beat them down.
"Dammit! They just keep coming!" Mugen grunted, coming back to back with Jin.
"Duck!" Naruto cried as he tossed his sword with enough strength to pierce through three bodies - not missing a beat, Mugen kicked the three down and ripped Narutos blade out then tossed it back to the blonde who joined them in their back to back attacks.
"I need my sword!' Naruto growled, getting angrier by the second.
"I'm on it." Jin stated, weaving through an opening while slashing at his attackers weak spots. He eventually found Shibui backed up into a tree, a fearful look in his eyes - the previous bravado now completely gone.
"W-Wait! Please! I'll give you anything you want! Money! Power!" the short man pleaded, however, when he saw Jin was not letting up, he gripped the blade in his hand tightly and snarled "If you come any closer I'll break it!"
That made Jin pause, while he didn't care much it was still a valuable possession to his current ally - and there would be no honor in bringing harm to it.
Shibui grinned at the opportunity and nodded to himself "Y-Yeah, that's right! Now me-gahh!" He couldn't finish that sentence as another sword actually pierced through the trunk of the tree he was pinned against and stabbed him in the center of his back, the tip of the blade extending outwards from his chest cavity.
"A-Ah.." the man whispered before it was roughly pulled out, allowing him to drop to his knees and then fall to the floor dead.
From behind the tree, a stone faced Naruto calmly stepped out shaking the blood off of his sword as he bent over to pick up his other. Scanning the concealed weapon, he nodded to himself and placed it on his back.
The rest of the men surrounding them took a step back as they watched the two tense, only to give out a final cry of pain as Mugen tore through them.
There was no time to relax however, no matter how many they killed, more and more took their place.
"Dammit! There's no end in sight!" Naruto cried as he stepped to the side, avoiding a swipe to his chest then sliced the offenders arm clean off.
"Look!" Jin stated, gesturing to the roof where Fuu had the now lit the fireworks and tossed them to the ground. The two balls exploded on the ground in a wonderful show of lights - fiery lights that burned everything around them, including the compound. Now was their chance!
-Break-
The three watched the giant fire that had now grown at the governor's compound from the outskirts of town before turning their eyes on each other. It was clear to all what would happen next.
"Well, I'd like to say it was nice, but I still have to kill you two." Mugen stated, reaching for his sheathed sword.
"I'll make sure to remember you both as great warriors." Jin stated, fingering the hilt of his sword.
"Bring it on, I'll show you who's the best!" Naruto exclaimed with a grin as he reached for his own blade, hand twitching as the ever present rush slowly filled him with newfound energy.
The wind blew and the tension was high as the three eyed each other, knowing full well they weren't dealing with the average weak samurai - but fully trained warriors.
Then it was interrupted, once again by none other than Fuu.
"Wait you three!' she cried, rushing up the small hill as she waved her arms back and forth. Once she reached them she let her hands fall on her knees in an attempt to catch her breath.
"Whaddya want? Can't you see we're busy?" Mugen asked rather angrily. He was looking forward to this!
Fuu took a couple more seconds to catch her breath, then growled - these three were complete hardheaded morons "Which is why this will work perfectly." she thought, hiding a smirk.
"Wait! Let's flip a coin, if it comes up heads, you three come with me. Tails, you kill each other! Sound good?" she asked, hopefully.
The three stayed silent, before Mugen reached over and snatched the coin "Gimme that!" With a hefty flip, he tossed the coin into the air, and the four watched it sail off into the darkening sky.
"Don't you think you tossed it a bit too hard?" Fuu murmured as they continued to wait for the coin to drop.
"He doesn't know the meaning of restraint." Jin added.
"Kiss my ass."
"Oh, there it is." Naruto stated catching the slight twinkle of silver.
The coin landed rather roughly on Fuus forehead, which would no doubt bruise later from the impact - however, Naruto, Mugen, and Jin didn't care for that, all that mattered was the answer.
"Well?" Fuu asked expectantly, seeing as she couldn't see it herself.
"There they are!"
"Don't let them escape!"
"Shit!" Mugen uttered, as all eyes turned to the steadily approaching horde of samurai guards.
Without a second glance, the three sped off, leaving behind a dumbfounded Fuu who took off after them - but not before reaching for the coin to see if she won.
"Hey guys look! I win!" she stated happily.
However, in her happy moment, she failed to focus on running - so she tripped, and in tripping she grabbed on to Narutos orange gi, who in turn grabbed on to Mugens, who in turn grabbed on to Jin - and they all fell simultaneously to the ground.
This was going to be a long journey.
Well, what do you think? Should I give it a shot! Leave me a piping hot review, and lemme know. Later guys!
WANTED:
Name: Naruto 'No known last name'
Weight: 112
Age: 17
Likes: Women, food, training, orange, his swords, ramen, toads, and gardening.
Dislikes: Traitors, orange-haters, ramen-haters, women-haters, snakes.
Description: Bright blonde hair, bright blue eyes, tan skin. Clothing consists of open orange Gi, with a bandaged naval, no undershirt. Dark black hakama that stop above his ankles, and navy blue sandals. He carries two swords with him at all times, one is held in an orange sheath - a simple katana with a black hilt, while the other is always wrapped in bandages, not much is known about it.
Style: Naruto is known to have above human level strength, and uses his body as much as a sword. He is reckless, and borderline suicidal in a fight, not caring if he harms himself in the process of killing his opponent. Although, he does show incredible tactical skills when in battle and is quite skilled with a sword. His style is unknown, but there are rumors.
Skill Level (Current):
Intelligence-2.5
Speed-3
Strength-4.5
Sword Skill-3.5
Tactics-3.5
Endurance-5
Wanted for multiple assaults on public officials, disturbing peaceful relations, destruction of public property, among other minor crimes. WANTED STATUS - Alive (If Possible) Bonus to Reward.
NOTE: Not an opponent you should take on alone. Please approach with caution!
Totem Sign: Toad