Chapter 10 : Reality

Hiii! I'm back! Sorry for the BIG delay. I did have some problems, writer's block being one of them so... Yup. I'm not really proud, I hope you won't hate me.

Thank you for all the nice reviews, I did read them, so yeah, I'm happy.

This chapter is kinda dark, and there's some blood in it, so don't say I didn't warn you :p We will also see a side of Kaylin we're not used to. You'll probably start to hate her, well, it depends on your level of compassion I guess :p

I don't own anything, as always, enjoy this chapter! ;)

I watched numbly as swords clashed against one another, the moonlight barely lighting the scene up. It was such a big blur of colors and sounds it was almost confusing. I had never seen a real fight until then, just children's games and practice sparring, but everything was so vivid it made my eyes swipe in so many directions, but at the same time they could follow them without thinking.

I wanted to join them, I wanted to fight too, and part of me wanted to prove them how capable I was at weilding a weapon, how hard I had trained during all these years. I wanted to surprise them and show them I wasn't weak, but my hands were shackled, my knees were shaking, and I was dead tired, as were Genis and Raine. So I could only watch.

Despite the obscurity, I could still see everyone's face, it was quite fascinating. Lloyd fought with his two swords against Cole, who was barely keeping up with him. In fact, the both of them were exhausted and their movements were slow. One having walked around in an armor for days and the other having ran for days continuously. Lloyd's fighting stance was basic and assertive, and his blows were strong, while Cole's stance was versed, but his years and his armor did make him a bit slower than the seventeen year-old.

There was a fifth person there too, and seeing her had made me pleasantly surprised: Sheena. She was mind blowing, her fighting style was swift and fluid, and I recognized ancient wind cards, weapons rarely used nowadays and known to be a secret art only compliant to ancient families of Mizuho. I thought it to be a legend too, once.

I shifted my gaze and turned to the youngest girl of the group. Presea was... Surprising. As she had shown to us in front of the church, she was very strong, and swung her ax forwardly, without any expression on her face. Colette was... Not fighting, surprisingly so. I guess the soldiers knew how to behave when confronted to her, so she was just oddly standing there, her pink wings faintly lighting the scene and her red eyes glowing in the dark. I tried not to shiver and moved to the last pair of fighters:

Randal and Zelos. Zelos was... Amazing. The way he fought looked like he was dancing. It was obvious the difference of level between the two of them was wide. As the young guard was barely keeping up and adopted a hesitant fighting style, Zelos' was fluid, precise, and the smirk on his face contrasted with the sweat forming on his forehead. It was weird I could see sweat at this distance, now that I pointed that out. Come to think of it, I could also see the tiny freckles on Lloyd's neck, the details on Sheena's cards and the forged pummel of Cole's heavy sword, probably bearing his family heraldry, a lion with jade eyes. It was almost as if I had-

The sound of something plunging into flesh brought me back to reality and made me spin on my heels. Paling, I felt my eyes widening as I took in the surreal sight. Presea had flung her ax in Jabber's gut, his blood spilling on her boots. A disgusting sound came to my sensitive ears and I heard a grunt of pain coming from the man. A second later, Cole was falling to his knees. I didn't even know how I knew it was him as my eyes were glued to Presea's bloodied boots, but I just did. And then, and I couldn't look away from it, I couldn't walk away from the horrible sight of Randal, the young Randal who had given Genis his own bread, who looked at us with pity, Randal throwing up blood, a dagger stuck in his throat, and Zelos Wilder stepping aside not to waste his white pair of pants.

The scene seemed to freeze as I tried to take a deep breath, watching Zelos wiping his bloody dagger on the body. He didn't even glance a second time to look at his face. If he had, he would have seen the man he had killed was just a boy. Killed. He was killed? On the spot, just like that?

Reality then slammed into me as Sheena administered her last blow to the chief, his body falling to the ground with a heavy thud. Tears ran freely on my cheeks, and I couldn't help but watch.

Every guard was knocked out, that meant we were free, I should have been happy, right? Every one of them was racist and I knew Jabber could have done the job of killing us himself, but Randal was... Randal was...

I resisted the urge to throw up and put my hands on my knees, my head spinning and my face draining of all color. I tried to think rationally, it was wrong to feel any sympathy towards these guys, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that Randal was probably on his very first mission, he wanted to do good, maybe he had a large family, maybe he wanted to make his father proud, and he had to obey blindly to orders he disliked. I had seen the look on his face when he looked at Genis, and it was not full of hatred. And he was so young, so, so young. I was already regretting learning their names.

"Professor, Genis, Kaylin, are you okay?" A voice called, but I could only see the blood. Crimson red, as Lloyd's outfit. I briefly wondered if the color was the reason he wore it, to hide the blood stains who'd stay forever, but I dismissed it, shaking my head. Now, I prefer to say that I dismissed that thought because I thought Lloyd was a good person, but the truth was that I actually didn't want to know. What did I know about these people, except from the final outcome? What told me their story was not made up? I did only just met them one or two weeks ago, and I saw them killing people with cold blood. Getting on my knees, I threw up on the floor, my throat sore from the cruel lack of water.

I heard voices again, but I was not really paying attention. Raine and Genis asking forgiveness from Lloyd and everyone for not telling them, Lloyd being ridiculously compassionate, then all of them noticing me and suddenly interrupting their heartfelt conversation.

Raine's boots approached and she crouched beside me, breaking my shackles and rubbing my back even though she probably was exhausted. "It's over now Kaylin, it's all over." I probably didn't give her a coherent enough response, because I was soon shouldered by Sheena and drug to my feet. I quickly wiped my mouth, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lloyd helping Genis up and Raine a few feet away healing everyone's wounds, probably on the verge of passing out herself. I felt dumb for letting Sheena handling me, but I couldn't fight against tiredness anymore, and leaned eagerly on her purple shoulder, trying to ignore the smell of blood.

I croaked out a question somehow, which made Zelos whirl around in surprise, astonishment spreading across his features. Even my voice sounded strange to my ears. I avoided his gaze, I couldn't look at him in the eye, not after I had seen this. I didn't hear any answer, so I spoke a little louder this time, "Did you kill them?"

"I-I don't know Kay, don't you think they deserve to?" Lloyd asked, confused.

"Some of them will live." Raine muttered, pointing towards Jabbers and the chief with her chin. For some reason, my panic died down, and something else settled in me. I let out a sigh. I just wanted to sleep. "I see." Was it... Sorrow?

"Well, I'd love to continue this conversation later, but we have to get going, y'all. We kinda are fugitives now." Zelos said, as tactless as ever.

"Wait!" Exclaimed Raine, facing the group, "I still have something to ask."

"Go ahead." Lloyd indicated, still shouldering Genis.

"Lloyd is okay with us, but what about the Tethe'alla half of our group? Do you mind if we join up with you?"

I stared. What the hell, Raine? They didn't save us to see us off! But, in a way... I still didn't know what Zelos and Presea's opinion was about us. I couldn't say I didn't want to know.

"I said it to Kaylin once and my belief didn't change since then, I'm all for it. Don't worry, we're not that different." The ninja smiled, and I saw Genis relaxing a bit.

We then turned to Zelos, who shifted uncomfortably under our stares, oddly out of character. "To tell you the truth, I can't really say I'm kosher with this." He scratched his head, but then raised a finger thoughtfully. "Then again, people have always treated me differently, saying that I'm a descendant of angels. So in a way, we're a lot alike."

Yeah, except from the fact you were idolized and we were treated like cattle.

… On second thought, we actually were quite similar. Me and him. Wings, angels and goddesses included. I still couldn't bear the sight of him though. Not yet.

Raine nodded, accepting his answer and finally turning to Presea.

"I just want to go home..." The little girl said, and I tried not to think of the blood drying on her ax. I shifted my gaze again, this was too disturbing. But, on the bright side... Hey, I was going to live. Why wasn't I happy and grateful as I should be, then?

"I see, it's settled then." Raine smiled, a relieved smile, like all of the weight she had accumulated during all these days- no, these years seemed to crumble into pieces. I couldn't help but feel a little bit envious, I had to carry the weight of my lies until the end.

"By the way, why is Sheena here?" Genis asked out of the blue, sending a curious look to said person. Oh yeah, what was she doing here?

Sheena then cleared her throat and stepped forward, looking serious. "I have orders from my chief, I'm supposed to observe your activities."

"That's typical of Mizuho, they're trying to decide if they should side with the King or you guys." Zelos snorted, ever the spirit lifter tonight.

"So now we have two people keeping tags on us." Genis observed, making a face. Sheena panicked.

"But I'm not trying to do anything or to get in your way or anything! So-so-"

"We know that already, you're a honest person, perhaps to a fault." Raine cut her off smoothly, and I tried not to wince as the guilt got a hold of my chest. I wasn't the most honest person out there but... I had good reasons, right? It wasn't for an ulterior motive or anything, it was just so everyone could be safe, wasn't it?

"At this point, I'm okay with anything." Lloyd grinned, "Now we just need Sheena to get those Rheairds working!" He cheered, and Sheena became white as a sheet. "Volt?!"

"Sheena?" Presea inquired, oddly.

"Ah, nothing." She quickly dismissed, blushing, and I stared at her, perplexed.

"Then shouldn't we go get the Rheairds first?" Zelos suddenly suggested. "Either way, Volt's temple is on the other side of the Grand Tethe'alla bridge. It will be faster if we pick up the Rheairds, since the bridge is closed off right now."

"Pick up? How are you planning on moving these things?" Lloyd frowned, probably thinking of the old painful way. With a wing-pack, duh, people use them all the time at home. But I couldn't say it out loud. Lies, lies, lies.

"Hehe, just leave that to me." Zelos winked, "I prepared a secret weapon just in case something like this happened." Yeah, a wing-pack. Genis beamed.

"What secret weapon?" A wing-pack.

"It wouldn't be any fun if I spoiled the surprise!" Definitely a wing-pack.

"Now let's get going! To the Fooji Mountains!" Zelos stroke a pose and began walking ahead, his hand resting on the hilt of his dagger. His previously dripping, bloody dagger.

"I can't believe we're going to climb that mountain again." Loyd complained, and Raine hit him on the back of his head, without much strength. I smiled bitterly, wondering how many miles we had to walk again to get to the Fooji Mountains, but I didn't feel like complaining, so I didn't say anything, and helped to set up camp after walking a reasonable distance from the bridge, leaving the bloodied bodies of the four men behind us. I didn't exactly grow fond of them during those three days. In fact, I probably hated them all and wanted nothing more but for them to die, but seeing them getting butchered in front of me like that? It was hard to take. Perhaps I was a coward, perhaps I just valued life too much, but it's a disturbing sight to see anyone getting killed either way, even when one deserves it, even when one knows the risks. It was still disturbing, and I could only imagine what it was like to take a life myself. That arose questions, but they were still unanswered as I was lulled into sleep, a sweet lullaby drowning my senses and painting the world in black, not noticing my exsphere was slightly glowing.

I didn't dream that night either, and woke up at dawn. I dug my fingers into the sand and breathed in the salty morning air, surprised at not feeling any shackles depriving my hands from movement. The pain was still here, and my wrists were bruised, but the shackles were gone. I cracked one eye open, then two, and all of my memories began to rush back to me. The bridge, the night, the running, the excitement, the relief, then the blood. Blood on Presea's shoes. Blood on the ground, blood beating in my ears. I remembered throwing up too, I remembered Randal getting killed by Zelos, the latter not accepting us, and the bodies... Why did I have to look? They weren't all dead, two of them survived, but still...

I sighed and got up on my feet, testing the waters. My head wasn't dizzy, I was just probably very hungry. I had lost some strength and needed to regain it. I looked at my surroundings and recognized the spot we had camped on the very first time. This night had been filled with hope and joy. I had watched my first sunset on the Ground, everything was new then, it still was now, but I think I started to grow less naïve since Sybak. I remembered Raine's horrible cooking, the sandwiches we had eaten, Lloyd telling me he would help me to find my father, Lloyd telling me we were friends. Friendship, huh? Why did it sound so lame, now? I sighed, rubbing my eyes. Water, I needed water.

Voices made me look up but I saw no one, so decided to find its source, careful not to step on Genis, Raine, Sheena and Presea, spread on the ground and snoring lightly. This left Colette, Zelos and Lloyd, and I doubted Colette would talk at all so my guess was that Zelos was bugging Lloyd or was trying to corrupt him.

As I approached, it appeared that the voices did belong to the two of them, but the nature of the conversation seemed rather serious. Instead of letting them see me, I sat behind a large rock and eavesdropped.

"So you're going to discriminate them too, huh?" Lloyd was asking, rather loudly, and it dawned on me they were talking about us. The half-elves. I grew really quiet and listened intently.

"I'm sure it sounds like that, but you've got to understand, I've been educated this way since birth." Zelos snapped, sounding rather annoyed. "Half-elves are stupid, savage, filthy creatures."

My eyes widened at his words and I took a few steps back, his words sinking in my brain. "Stupid, s-savage? Filthy?" I repeated, stunned. He said it so confidently too, like it was common knowledge. I barely heard Lloyd's heated answer and went back running to the campsite, blinking tears back. Again.

"C'mon Kaylin, everyone doesn't have to automatically like or accept you, you know?" I laughed nervously, wiping my eyes, full of tears threatening to spill. "You knew it! You were prepared for this the moment you stepped a foot on this ground!" I kicked in a pebble, hating myself for getting so easily controlled by my emotions.

"Then why? …Why does it hurt so much?" I whispered, my voice cracking on the last word and my teeth digging in my lip. I numbly realized there was blood when another voice was heard, this time coming from the opposite direction.

"Woah, it's heavy! Do you swing that thing around?"

It sounded like... "Sheena?" I asked, wiping the blood and the tears altogether.

"The ax's weigh increases the destructive power." I heard Presea stating dully, still close enough so I could hear her breathing.

To my surprise, they were nowhere near, and I started to think I had been hallucinating when I found them another 100 meters away. The hell? Now that I thought about it, a lot of weird thing had been happening to me since I had been taken by the Papal Knights. Extended eyesight, night vision, extended hearing, all pointed towards legit angelic powers. Mother had told me about those, expecting them to appear when I got my wings, but none ever came and I hadn't really thought about it ever since. So why in the worlds would they appear at such a time? Oh but, did that mean I could lift heavy charges too then? A light bulb metaphorically appeared on top of my head, whatever a light bulb is.

Excited, I ran all the way up to where Sheena, Genis and Presea were standing, going straight to Presea.

"Um, good morning guys, hi Presea, could I borrow your ax for a second?"

"Okay." The girl said, handing over her huge ax and placing it in my open hands.

"Don't even try to lift it, this thing is h-" Sheena was cut off by the sight of me lifting the ax effortlessly. With one hand.

The weapon was surprisingly light, and weighed hardly more than a normal sword. This was awesome. "Wow, this is actually easier than I thought!" I grinned, stars shining in my eyes as I passed it from one hand to another, noticing Genis and Sheena's faces decomposing as I played with the weapon.

"Thank you, Presea." I smiled innocently, handing her the ax back. Meanwhile, I pondered if I could buy an ax just to mess with them, then remembered I didn't have any money. Damn.

"You're welcome." She answered politely, then went to sit on the ground for no apparent reason.

Sheena's jaw was practically hitting the ground at this point, and she was still gaping at me when Lloyd and Zelos came back. My smile disappeared as soon as I saw them and I frowned. Zelos was laughing and Lloyd was barely keeping his grin back. All of a sudden, I could see them again, covered in blood. I could hear all of Zelos' comments again. I could see Lloyd unfazed by murder. I surprisingly didn't resent Presea, she was always that way, but Lloyd...

"I'm going to wake Raine up, okay? Just cook breakfast or something." I exclaimed while turning away from them, shaken. My tone must have been bitter because Lloyd flinched and approached me. I backed away.

"Kay... Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I retorted feebly

"But you won't look at me in the eye!" he insisted, and I spun around.

"I'm telling you I'm fine!" I snapped. His eyes widened

"O-okay then..."

I ignored him and walked away, not really intending to find Raine, stomping on the sand. I suddenly hated him. I hated his outfit, he didn't even need to wash it to make the blood stains go away! I hated his clueless look, playing innocent when he had just killed someone. I hated his lack of humanity, his fake corny speeches about friendship and tolerance. I hated the way he acted all concerned, I hated his stupid hair and his stupid swords, I hated this smile he wore everyday without failing, I hated the way he spoke, the way he said my name. I'd rather have Zelos insulting me and calling me filthy. That'd make more sense at least.

Aaand there we go! I know, this chapter was short, but I really wanted it to end here. So tell me what you think about it in the reviews:

Do you think Kaylin is right? Did you expect it? Will she stay mad at Lloyd? Will the plot finally progress? x)

I promise I definitely won't make you wait that long for the next chapter,

So until the next one... Don't forget to review

See ya! :D