Unedited&Posted: 03/14/2017

Fire Flower

8

I wanted to get rid of the role I had been given in life.

I wanted to do the impossible in turning back time.

I wanted to see them again, just once.

I didn't want to be afraid anymore.

I didn't want to feel alone anymore.

I didn't want this.

I hated it.

Those are the words I just can't say but who would care to listen about that?

Boys Will Be Boys

Kushina was...off.

He tried—honest!—to get her to open up and hang out with him.

But something in her was unresponsive to him in ways she'd never been before. Not even when they were just starting out in their relationship. It was like watching someone dead move around, exactly like that. Her gaze was hollow with dark deep bags beneath her eyes. So dark, Minato had never seen the likes of them before. Not even in his own usually sleep-deprived father.

So he needed help.

Oddly enough, the only part of her that remained the same was that she still cooked for him. Yet, she never so much as played with her food, often times giving it over to Shikou who seemed more Akimichi like as the days passed. But that made only sense because of who is mother was.

"My mom is Chouri Akimichi," Shikou had admitted sheepishly as he bit into a takoyaki ball.

Kushina and Minato had shared a look in response and then immediately Kushina launched into a discussion about food, which was half fed from her obvious delirium and half fed from natural curiosity. Minato hadn't been able to keep himself from watching her with worried eyes, ready to catch her the moment she passed out. She never did, no matter how hard she drilled herself during practice.

She'd been relentless in her taijutsu, most days giving Minato bruises that would last for weeks. Ninjutsu had also become a concern of hers as she tried to round off her skill set by learning a few jutsu to mix into her fuinjutsu. Minato would have been amazed, and maybe a bit proud, if he wasn't so sure that this wasn't entirely the most healthy thing for her to do.

Jiraiya was at a loss though, and so was he.

For the past few months, Minato had been asking Jiraiya for extra lessons, even before Kushina's kidnapping, had been doing it with the intent to be strong like his dad wasn't. But now, too used to using training as a way to escape his own problems, Minato had no idea how to help others without that being the obvious solution to him. It worked for him great, he slept through the night and wasn't bothered when his dad came home smelling of alcohol and a touch of perfume.

But, as he was learning through Kushina, it didn't work for everyone.

In her eyes...

How could he help her through the pain she was experiencing? What could he possibly do for her that would bring back his Kushina? The one that smiled teasingly as she punched him, or who laughed even when he thought his joke was tasteless?

Jiraiya had no idea—he'd tried his best to coax her back into the land of the living, had spoken with Tsunade, and even Nawaki. None of them were having any luck.

Which was why Minato was turning to a Nara, someone who at least have a better idea on what to do because, well, everyone knew they were geniuses—not to mention, Shikou had grown up with Yamanaka.

Minato liked his other teammate too.

Shikou was a good mix of the two clan's stereotypical natures. Although he wasn't much of a strategist—having the brains to keep up with Minato and Kushina but simply not very creative—and more of a follower than a leader in things. He was super loyal, showcased by his interference of a few lowlifes who were attempting to pick on Kushina, earning the respect of Minato instantly after that. Though, despite that, he wasn't the type to prefer confrontation if he could help it.

Better yet, he liked to take naps in the shade like any good Nara but loved to eat a big meal before he slept it off. His skill sets were a mixture of Akimichi and Nara, with the know-how to balance both clan techniques. Shikou also liked to chase after butterflies and cats if he didn't think anyone was watching and sometimes sung a cheerful tune after a long hard day of training. He was a great cook too, making Kushina decree him perfect house-husband material.

Minato wasn't going to lie about that last bit—he was slightly made disgruntled and it made him work that much harder on his skills in the kitchen. He even sometimes, like now, asked for the Akimichi-Nara boy to come over to his apartment for lessons.

"Oh my god," Shikou breathed, wafting the scent of the broth—he was making homemade ramen—from the steaming pot. Then he grinned at Minato and the two exchanged a high-five at the blond's latest success. "The three of us should start up a restaurant when we retire."

"Agreed," Minato nodded with a grin, stirring the noodles in the broth before allowing himself a tiny frown as he looked to Shikou, "Hey, do you have any ideas on how to help Kushina?"

Much to the Namikaze's great disappointment, Shikou shrugged.

"When I feel sad, I just tell myself to stop it and I do," the brown-haired boy shook his head, seemingly bewildered, "I don't understand how other people can't do it. Mom says that it's good I can dissociate from my emotions but I'm not too sure, makes it hard to understand other people and help them out."

Which was similar to the problem Minato was currently facing with Kushina. She was definitely a feeler, someone that took the whole world onto her shoulders and continued to shovel even more weight on top of that. It was self destructive—he would have added unproductive too but that wasn't technically true, Kushina was excelling at her work—and quite frankly, Minato was ready to snap at her for being an idiot.

Minato frowned, and sighed, because how could he be so stupid to not even know how to help his best friend? Not to mention she was the girl he was pretty sure would be his wife one day. Kids, and everything would be shared with the nearly ten year old girl, even if she wasn't currently aware of the fact. His brain had pretty much scored this for later though, for when they were older and it was of actual use. Same went for the humble wealth of information Jiraiya intended to imprint on the impressionable youth—though, a red faced Minato thought, that would come way, waay later.

"I'm just going to force her to be happy, whether she likes it or not," Minato decided with a calm smile. Yes, that was the best plan he could come up with when all others had failed. Kushina would understand eventually though, she had to.

Shikou shuddered, grimacing as he shied away from the blond, "Remind me to never be sad around you... Shit's creepy."

Minato shrugged and busied himself in getting out bowls for dinner, humming an off-key tune.

Boys Will Be Boys

"You can leave me alone now," I mumbled to Minato and watched as he shook his head. As if wanting to make things worse, he had on a small smile, his lips quirking up at the edges that honestly would have looked cute had he not been hovering over me for the past hour.

"I'm just walking you home," he said nonchalantly, his voice cool and his body language relaxed. It was entirely different to how on edge I felt, trying to navigate my way towards the new apartment that I'd chosen to be my new humble abode. Humble being the key word. It was on the nasty part of the village, the place where things were a little less beautiful and sunny. But it was the only place that accepted a minimum down payment and allowed a newly turned ten year old to live on their own with no questions asked.

"It's out of your way," I snapped back at him. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? He'd been that way for weeks now, sticking to my side like glue—or like rubber, always snapping back to me eventually. It had been irritating in a way that I couldn't think about much else besides him and seals. Always those two things. Which might have been the point but it didn't make it any less suffocating.

"Kushina," he suddenly said, and I paused just because he hardly ever called me by name anymore. I looked back at him, clutching at the paper with my new address. He smiled at me then, but it was sadder now and it made parts of that familiar ache come back. With that, I regretted being so mean to him, trying to push him away when all he's ever done is be so kind. I was a terrible person and I was always the worst to the people I loved.

"Sorry."

There was a thick cloak of silence that followed.

"It's fine," he finally said after looking into my eyes with that curious gaze of his. His voice was so soft I could barely hear him. He pointed a little bit past me and there was that smile again, "We're here now."

"Oh," I said, just a little bit surprised. Then, I pursed my lips and met his blue eyes again, tapping my foot against the ground before shifting uncomfortably. I hated to ask but, "Do you want to come inside? The movers have already been in and though I still need to unpack..."

"Can I help you?" he asked back, his own foot cutting a circle into the dirt, "I'd like to look at those seals again."

I blinked, "Oh, right! They're gonna make you totally awesome, you know. Once you get them mastered, no one will be able to stop you!" Then he'd surpass me and I'd be left in the dust. My use for him would be used up and nothing would remain the same.

I bit down on my lip, trying not to feel the sudden worry and burgeoning desire to cling to him.

Don't leave me too, I wanted to say to him but that would have defeated the point of my earlier agitation. I was upset at him and I couldn't just swing back and forth like this all the time. I needed to figure out what was happening, why it agitated me so much that he could just up and leave me if he wanted to.

It didn't even make any sense that I felt that way. Minato was stuck to me like fleas and he'd already shown me he wouldn't just up and leave when the going got tough. Honestly though, tell that to the certain apprehensive nervous energy I started toting around each time I thought about him leaving for good. How could I put a stop to that?

Suddenly, I was moving before I could think to stop myself.

Closing the distance between us, I slipped my fingers in his hands, watching as our fingers became intertwined. It was funny to see how small our hands were, how covered in scars and nicks they had become over the years I had known him. My skin was slightly lighter than his, and though we were still children, his hands were already bigger than mine. It looked like I was so weak in comparison.

"We have to remain equals," I told him seriously, brows furrowing, "I don't really want to be stronger than you but I don't want to be weaker either. Since I'm helping you, you have to help me in return. Let's not be rivals, Minato. Let's be partners."

"I like that better," he said quietly, and he was swinging our hands together, bumping our elbows together as he closed more of the space between us. Suddenly I could see specks of grey in his eyes, and details of his face I had never noticed before. His lashes were longer than I remembered them being, his brows thin and arched, the same color as his hair that seemed to be the color of the rising sun. I blinked because not only were all those thoughts dumb and useless but I was blushing.

"Um," I started, and our foreheads knocked together painlessly. I couldn't help it. There was an oddly light feeling spreading its way through me, making my face grin without my permission. I laughed and he did too, our actions being as equally dumb as they were overdramatic and out of place.

People stopped to stare at us but I honestly couldn't give a damn.

But I did pull away, if only to knuckle in a punch to his arm before racing up the creaking rusted metal steps to what was supposed to be my new sanctuary. He followed quickly after and we were laughing again before the door could even be opened.

Boys Will Be Boys

"Meet Mikoto Uchiha," Jiraiya said, gesturing to the black haired girl who stared back impassively, "she'll be the one overlooking your progress while I'm away for the day."

"Where are you going?" I asked, mildly curious to find that our teacher of the last six months was suddenly disappearing. We'd been going on several missions with him already, many of them C-ranks outside of Konoha now that we could effectively pull off the harder missions and not immediately die once we left the gates. We'd even gone on an emergency B-rank with the man, though he'd handled almost all of it himself. So it must have been a pretty big deal to suddenly stick us with a chuunin for the day while he went off.

"Vacation," he said and gone were all the thoughts of tough missions that one of the great Sannin had to take on solo. I blinked at him while he grinned widely, the red marks on his face moving to make him look more impish than usual, "As much as I love you kiddos, I do need a break from seeing you at least once."

Minato and I shared a look before we included Shikou in our exasperation. Then the three of us looked at Mikoto, who already looked tired of us already. For my part, I was a little apprehensive to be facing the Mikoto Uchiha. Future matriarch of the Uchiha clan and mother to two boys who were possibly the most controversial and misguided characters in the whole show, one who would die at the hands of one of them. Many things hinged on them, and in that respect, many things hinged on Mikoto herself.

She tried for a smile when she met my eyes but it looked more forced than anything else.

I looked at Jiraiya incredulously as the details began to sink in, "So, did you pay for a chuunin to watch over us? You know, we could have just trained on our own for the day. We do it all the time."

Jiraiya gave a gasp of mock horror, "I would never pay to shuck my duties onto other people! There's such a thing as owing debts and plenty of people owe them to me." He shook his head, "But no, Kushina-chan, this a different matter entirely. The three of you won't be staying in the safety and comfort of the village for the day. You're going on a C-rank mission and it'll be less a day and more like a week. She'll fill you in more than I can though, so off I go!"

Without further goodbyes, he jumped away and fled. I glared after where he'd gone before huffing out a sigh and elbowing Minato.

"How much do you wanna bet that he's headed to the women's hot springs?" I asked with a lifted brow.

Minato shrugged, "I won't bet when I'll be the one losing."

"I'll bet, um, this stick of dango that he's going off on a dangerous mission to save Konoha!" Shikou cheered and I had to grin at the Nara. He went along with my plans these days, humored me when Minato was too focused on something else, and was also quite willing to be a punching bag if only so he could work on his shadow techniques on a victim that was at least as fast as I could be. He was making great progress and I was too in my ability to knock a fool out in ten seconds flat. Of course, I only mimed the killer moves, not actually wanting to give my good pal something bad like a concussion could be.

No more friendly fire from me, no siree.

"Sucks that he's saving Konoha without us," I allowed, though I was almost certain he was at an onsen, living it up while we suffered through the C-ranks. At least they weren't the damned D-ranks. Most of our missions were usually on the harder side, considering we had a Sannin on our side, but knowing our leader would be a chuunin just meant that this one would be an easier one than normal.

I don't know, maybe I'm arrogant but I was honestly prepared to be able to waltz through the mission like nothing was going to go wrong.

Should have known better. Should have really known better.

Boys Will Be Boys

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Something generally similar to this was said by a notable figure from my past world although, fuck if I could remember his name. Muppet? No, those were weird animal hand puppets. Eddie Murphy? No, that dude had totally been an actor. Or something. Mur-Muh—something similar to that was the smart dude's name. He liked physics or something. Yeah, my memory? Not too good these days. I'd been far too busy blocking that shit, repressing it as far as it could go with mental will alone. Though that didn't stop those damn nightmares from popping up, I'll tell you that much.

Still, feeling generally sleep deprived as of late, I should have known I was going to fuck something up.

Things took a turn for the downright irritating when I discovered what the mission was going to be. Recon. I loathed recon missions. They were often times more boring than even the D-ranks inside the village, and generally just as easy. Be quiet, keep your eyes peeled, and memorize everything you see. Easy, easy, easy.

It might come as a surprise to some people but, well, I wasn't typically good at the whole patience thing. Never really learned how to deal with not having anything to do.

Even on my days off, free of anything planned, I usually devoted the extra time into something I saw as productive like working on my seals and generally making myself a nuisance in Minato's home—a recent change that he seemed to welcome whenever I took the chance to drill information into his head. It was a lot better than just sitting home alone, thinking.

As a result, I wasn't really much of an asset on recon missions and the ones similar to it. I liked much more the feeling of action, to feel the stretch of my muscles and the thrilling beat of my heart in my chest in response to the real world. Everything occurring so fast, too fast for even a thought to completely cross my mind. It was much more fun, a real challenge too if I came across a shinobi stronger than me.

Which wasn't often, with Jiraiya being there to protect the three of us.

That day, however, was different.

Okay, okay, but I'm sort of getting ahead of myself.

First, it was Minato's fault for messing up on his first watch that night. Which just so happened to be after mine but that's not actually important.

We were robbed though. That's important—but I'm getting ahead of myself! Way ahead.

"It was a sleeping gas," Minato said, looking flushed as he explained his part of the story. Rightly so, he looked more than a little bit embarrassed of himself as he scratched the back of his head. "Sorry," he mumbled, looking downcast. "I didn't hear it coming.

"It's okay," Shikou said, patting his shoulder, "that could have been any one of us."

Which was true, but it didn't stop me from being a little bit pissy about it.

"Everything I brought with me is gone," I muttered, kicking at a tree stump and folding my arms. I couldn't be angry at Minato, but it was still there. The anger rumbled inside me, hot and biting. Most irritating was that there was nothing in my sight that I could take it out on.

Deeply, I sighed.

Mikoto joined me seconds later and shook her head, biting at her thumbnail before narrowing her eyes at Minato, "And you can't remember anything about what happened before you fell asleep?"

"Well, I remember hearing a twig snap but that's about it. I didn't even see smoke, it was just...like one second I was awake and then next I was knocked out," he sighed, rubbing at his face before shaking his head. "I'm not even sure there was a gas. It was just me messing up." Saying it, he looked absolutely miserable.

I couldn't just let him feel that way...

Coming to sit down next to him, I bumped my shoulder with his and said very pointedly, "And then somehow, without any of waking up, they made off with all of our stuff? Highly unlikely. There was something keeping all of us asleep. It's not your fault Minato."

"She's right," Mikoto said with a groan, "and beside, I'm the commanding officer, all responsibility lies on me."

"So is the mission ruined?" Shikou asked, concerned, "That's it?"

"No!" I shot up from the ground, vehemently shaking my head before turning to look at all of them, "Failure is not an option."

"Agreed," Mikoto said with a glint in her eye, "we go on with the mission as ordered and—."

"We find our stuff and beat up the people who stole it!" I added, looking at her pointedly.

"Of course," she allowed before her eyes narrowed at me and my stomach sank. I tried to look away, tried to seem and appear much more like a bush but it wasn't working. Of course it wasn't working. I swallowed thickly. I had a feeling for what was coming and I had nothing but my big mouth to thank for it.

"While the rest of us work on getting the mission done, I want you to find our missing things."

Oh, shit.

Boys Will Be Boys - End

A/N: Obligatory transitory chapter that will be continued in the next chapter cause it's been so long since my last update (sixth months). Been busy with other stories (of which I recommend) and also just haven't been as inspired to write for Kushina. Love her to bits but the ideas have just not been flowing. Until now, because I actually have a pretty solid battle plan for this coming arc.

Also, also...HOLY SHIT 1K FAVES, 1K FOLLOWS. A DREAM I'D NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE COME TRUE. THANK YOU OMG. Funnily enough, I hit that number a long while ago but this chapter took much longer than I expected it to take (and it's so short ;-;). So probably no one is even waiting for this anymore. We'll see!

See you in another six months! (A joke. I, uh, hope.)