The Day He'd Prefer to Forget

Aaron Hotchner was comfortable with the knowledge that there was to be a meeting right after lunch.

Hence: he ate his lunch quickly.

Hence: he got the hiccups.

Hence: people were in the round table room longer than usual.

"We're going to be having a lot of things to talk about, so I ask you to put away your phones. Now."

With that order, Rossi, Prentiss and Morgan tucked away their phones and looked up expectantly.

Hic.

There was a flurry of confused looks. Who had the hiccups?

"First of all," *hic* "we should—" Hotch broke off. *hic*

Reid, who'd been slouching, now sat at attention, looking in disbelief at the Head Hotcho, as his cheeks colored while he raised a hand slowly to his mouth. *hic*

"New order of *hic* business," Hotch said slowly. "Who here *hic* knows the cure for *hic* hiccups?"

The team was now, not very discreetly, stifling urges to burst out laughing. Morgan pulled his phone back out. "I can find one."

"Lots of people say sugar water, or sugar with vinegar," Prentiss began helpfully. "I can get you a sugar packet from the kitchen."

"I don't usually find that works, for Henry, that is," JJ interrupted.

"Can you get some anyway?" *hic* Hotch asked Prentiss. "We should *hic* really be getting started." *hic*

"Start away," Garcia burst into the room. "So sorry I'm late. You shouldn't have waited for me."

"We weren't," Rossi said slyly. *hic*

Garcia blinked and looked around the room as to who the culprit was who had the hiccups. She guessed who when she saw Hotch trying to hide his face.

"Hotch?"

*hic*

"Okay, it says here that pushing the thumb of one hand onto the palm of the other can help," Morgan informed Hotch. "Here's the picture."

*hic* "I don't need the picture," Hotch said, rather grumpily. *hic*

Prentiss, meanwhile, had slid out of her seat and now returned with a sugar packet, a plastic spoon and water. "Here you go."

Hotch, having completed his thumb/palm exercise and it having not worked, took Prentiss's offerings and there was momentary silence while he made sugar water and drank it. Correction: there was silence punctuated by hiccups that didn't stop after the sugar went down and Hotch grimaced.

"Well, that did nothing," Rossi said, oh-so-helpfully.

"This will sound weird," Garcia began, "But I've heard that giving the hiccups to someone else works."

"What? How does that even work?" Morgan asked and Garcia's face fell.

"I have no idea. Maybe it's mental thing."

"It's an *hic* impossible thing," Hotch returned. "So thanks for the adv-*hic*-ice but I don't believe it can be put into practice."

Reid stood up, walked over and whacked Hotch on the back, hard. "Damn it, Re-*hic*-id!"

"Surprises work sometimes," Reid said apologetically. "That and being hit."

Hotch shot him a more than dirty look as the genius walked back to his chair.

"Something in the past that has worked for me is holding my breath. If I can hold it long enough," Rossi announced.

Hotch, after a moment of scrutinizing Rossi to make sure this wouldn't backfire like Reid's last trick, inhaled. One…Two…Three…Four…

After fifteen, people stopped counting and Garcia brought up the today's topics. A minute into that, Hotch let out a whoosh of air.

Everyone waited for the *hic* to return, but it didn't.

"Thank God," Hotch muttered. "Please, let's get started."

*hic*

*hic*

"Oh my god," Morgan said, staring in horror at Garcia. "Your wacky thing worked."

"My what?"

Reid was now hiccupping, with a stunned look on his face.

Without a word, Hotch stood up and whacked him on the back.

"It sometimes works," he said innocently and sat back down.