Chapter 41 – I Will Be Real Once Again

*Trigger warning-A/N – Again, it's not very detailed but this chapter contains some with mentions of self-harm and suicide. We don't to offend or upset anything so we wanted to add this little note at the beginning*

Throwing the door open to her house and letting it slam behind her, Avery leaned against it as she breathed heavily, tears burning her eyes at the sound of hundreds of birds flying into the door.

"Stop!" She shouted violently pulling on her hair as she slid down the door onto the floor with a thud, as the sickening sounds continued from the other side of the wood door.

Her hands balled into fists as she continued to scream out into the empty house, her voice bouncing off the walls and hurting her own ears. Continually beating her fists down on her legs, pain meant control… but this time she couldn't pull herself back at all.

She wasn't sure how it was even late enough for the sun to be going down outside, it felt like only moments ago that she'd left Deputy Parrish's house after trying to call Derek; apparently she'd lost hours of time that day.

Finally the sounds stopped and she looked around, not sure if she'd been dreaming or if she'd hallucinated the entire thing. With trembling legs she managed to stand up and slowly open the door, to reveal nothing but a brilliant sunset painted across the sky. Breathing a sigh of relief she closed the door, then paused when she heard a noise from down the hallway.

"Dad?" Avery asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes, and started towards his room. Things still weren't good between them but in that moment she didn't care, she just needed someone there with her.

But as she pushed open the door she didn't see anyone. "Dad?" She whispered walking farther into the room until the door behind her shut causing her to start screaming. Whatever the hell this was, a nightmare or a waking thought –it wasn't over.

Her screams were shattered by the sound of glass as birds flew into the room, swarming the entire space as they flew around, their wings sounded like thunder as more and more birds poured in from the windows until there had to at least be a thousand.

Screaming at the top of her lungs she dropped to the floor, cowering into a fetal position and trying to protect her head and face from the creatures. The terrifying experience seemed to go on for years without relief, until it finally stopped and there was nothing but silence, followed by an intense, sharp pain in her leg.

Moving she saw an arrow sticking out of her leg, confused and growing more terrified by the moment as she grabbed the arrow and with a loud groan of pain ripped the entire thing out of her leg and dropped it to the floor, before managing to somehow pull herself to her feet.

"Why didn't you save me?"

Avery's gaze snapped up to where she saw Allison in the room with her, in the same clothes she'd been killed in her face was pasty white with dark circles surrounding her red rimmed eyes.

"Allison…" Avery cried, shaking her head back and forth.

Her brunette friend looked down at herself, and Avery followed her gaze to see blood pouring from the fatal wound she'd gotten from the Oni sword.

"You… you're not real!" Avery shouted in a pained voice as tears ran down her face and she watched her best friends blood seep into the carpet under her feet.

"I was real." Allison shot back at her with venom in her voice, "I was real and so much better than you. I was trying to help save my friends, I died saving Isaac's life, and what have you done?"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she shook her head back and forth, making loud gasping noises –desperately trying to get oxygen into her lungs, but she couldn't get a breath. This was what she'd been so terrified of, exactly what her mom taunted her with in nightmares; that she couldn't save her friends and she'd been right. Avery knew it should have been her who lost her life, not Allison.

"Aww, A… look at you… you're such a mess, it's pathetic." Allison hissed nodding to Avery's arms where she'd scratched and bruised them trying to get a handle on her sanity and stay in control.

"I didn't! I –I didn't do this!" She shrieked pulling her arms back and digging her nails into her already sore flesh as she explained in broken English, "The birds… they just kept biting me!"

"Birds, what birds?" Allison taunted, her voice harsh.

As she looked at her she cried out, "They were everywhere!"

"You're out of your mind." Allison accused. Her words cutting Avery deeper than any knife could.

"It wasn't real… none of it was real." She sobbed, as she slammed the palms of her hands against her head.

She pinned her eyes shut not understanding what was happening.

With a menacing laugh Allison continued, "I think we both knew it was only a matter of time before you ended up here, completely alone. No one cares about you, no one loves you… and how could they? You're just one disaster after another… pathetic."

Raising her head she gasped and kicked backwards on the floor trying to get away as her friends face twisted into a sinister smile, as one of the Oni's iron swords was now sticking out of her chest.

"Allison… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Avery screamed as she dug her nails farther into her arms, crying out louder than before as she watched Allison pull the blade from herself and raise it like she was going to attack her.

In a panicked crawl she made it into her dad's bathroom and slammed the door, locking it behind her as she screamed, "You're not real!"

Leaning forward she rested her forehead against the wood trying to remind herself of how Allison was dead, there was no way her friend was really there but all reason flew out of the window when one of the Oni swords stabbed through the door mere inches from where her head was.

Her voice felt loud enough to break glass as it poured from her open mouth; stumbling backwards she knocked the contents of the counter off onto the floor with her as she coward against the wall.

There were so many sounds around her, Allison trying to break through the door; she could still hear the thunderous sounds of the bird wings. But the most distracting of all was that she could hear her heart beating; pumping the blood to the rest of her body and the sound made her sick, feeling the hot sticky liquid flowing through her veins, coursing through her arteries.

As she went to stand up her eyes landed on a pill bottle laying on it's side, reaching out she picked it up and read the label on her dads extra strength, prescription sleeping pills.

Silence; that was all she wanted just a few moments of silence to pull herself together. She told herself as she removed the child safety lid and poured some out in her hand.

"Just a few…" She whispered to herself, "Just a few pills… a few minutes…"

Instead of taking the pills she dropped them into the toilet, listening to each pill break the surface of the water, she counted every single pill she dropped until the whole bottle was gone a strange feeling of calmness flowing over her with each lost pill.

Looking around she realized she was somehow in her own bathroom now, a small breath of relief left her lips as she stepped out into her bedroom and realized she must have dreamt the entire thing off.

Sitting down on the side of her bed, she continued to cry as she angrily slapped her tears away and managed to find her phone where she scrolled through her contact list, stopping on the names of her friends but she couldn't bring herself to call any of them.

It was her fault, her fault that Allison was dead, she should have been able to do something to help her, somehow change what had happened. But she couldn't, instead she was forced to carry on day after day without her, when she knew inside that she didn't deserve to live. How could she call any of her friends for comfort when they had every right in the world to hate her and deny her the comfort; she hated herself.

She thought about trying Derek's number again, it had only been days since he'd showed up to check on her and now she couldn't get ahold of him. He'd made it sound like he was going to be there for her, but now she knew that apparently wasn't the case at all.

Everyone always left her in one way or another –and no matter how much she wanted to believe things might be different, the sad truth was she always had a habit of needing people more than they needed her

Her phone fell to the floor and she looked around, wrapping her arms around herself wishing she could somehow feel safe again, praying for an ounce of warmness in her cold, dead world.

Leaning off the side of her bed she looked down to the floor but frowned when her cellphone wasn't there anymore, leaning down farther she reached under the edge of her bed feeling around for the cold glass screen of her phone but it wasn't anywhere.

With a groan she threw herself off the mattress and looked under her bed, but instead of her phone she saw her cat, Annabel cowered up against the far wall.

"Annabel, it's okay…" She tried to soothe, wondering why her cat was acting so skittish.

"Is it? is anything really okay?"

Clenching her eyes shut at the voice that had haunted her nightmares for over a year, Avery said, "You're not real…" as she quickly scrambled to her feet and looked around.

Her entire room was a mess, her computer and TV where broken on the floor, the large glass mirror above her dresser was shattered, not to mention her desk was completely turned on its side, clothes had been pulled from her closet and strewn all over the large bedroom –yet the teenager had no recollection of any of it.

Throwing her head back and laughing Kate Argent said, "Of course I'm real."

She darted into her bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her as she fell to the floor and scrambled over to the space between her toilet and sink, putting her back against the wall but somehow Kate was already in the room with her, pacing back and forth as she taunted, "Do you know what my favorite subject in school was?"

Avery's bottom lip shook as she tried to find words, but she was out of them. Her voice was gone and every ounce of fight she'd had in her was burnt out, she'd never felt so hopelessly weak in her entire life. A part of her knew this wasn't real, Kate Argent was dead and this wouldn't be the first nightmare she'd had after being tortured by the late hunter.

"Science… I always loved dissecting things." Kate said as she paced back and forth in front of the broken teenager. "That feeling of opening something up, just to see what's inside… it's always been a fascination of mine."

"You see." She continued, clicking her tongue, "You know what I'm talking about, I know you do." Avery looked down to her wrist covered in two tattoos, the one she'd always wanted and the one that Stiles had picked out for her to cover her scar.

"A new beginning…" Avery whispered, her eyes stung from tears. Everything was falling apart, she never felt like she was standing on solid ground anymore. This school year was supposed to be a new beginning for her, but everything always fell apart.

"A new beginning… no sweetie. Every story has an ending, and you can't keep running. Running from your past, from me…"

The thoughts she'd been forcing down came bubbling to the surface again, the nagging feeling of blood coursing through her veins, the sickening sound of her heart pumping.

As she pried apart the plastic casing of a disposable razor that was lying under her sink, tears ran down her cheeks. And Kate continued talking, "Never moving forward means there can never be a past."

She nodded as she held up the razor blade and then looked down to her wrist again, that blood needed to come out. She had to open her skin and see what was underneath it, only then could she have the silence she needed. Only when her heart stopped beating would the blood stop running through her veins and she'd have peace.

As she pressed the sharp blade down and started to drag it over her skin, she saw blood bead to the surface and an immediate feeling of relief started to sink in. Seeing the crimson run off her arm meant less of it was inside of her and for reasons she was unsure of, she wanted more.

~()~

"Thank god!" Richard breathed as he saw Deputy Parrish rushing up the stairs, it had only been minutes ago that he'd put the call into the police, but the seconds had felt like hours as she tried but failed to get Avery to unlock the door to her room.

"What happened?" Parrish asked as he came to a stop outside of Avery's room. He'd been headed out of the station to go home, his shift was over, but when he heard her address over the radio he'd insisted he take the call before he rushed to her house.

Rubbing his forehead her dad said, "Our neighbor across the street called me… he said that there was screaming and crashing coming from the house, and I came home. She's… she's locked herself in her room and I don't know if she's alone or if someone is in there with her… but I can't get in there." His voice cracked and he blinked back tears as he helplessly admitted, "I can't help her… I don't know how."

The end of his sentence was cut off by a muffled pained whimper from Avery before she started screaming for someone to leave her alone.

Without a second thought, Parrish drew his gun and kicked the door open rushing into her room with Avery's dad right behind him. But once he saw the open door to the bathroom, he quickly realized he didn't need the weapon. She wasn't struggling with another person, she was struggling with her own demons.

Putting the gun back in his holster, he took a few steps closer to the bathroom, his heart sinking as he saw the plastic casing of a disposable razor on the floor in front of her and a blade in her hand.

"Avery…" He said, trying to remain calm for her.

Raising her head she stared at him with mascara running down her cheeks.

"You're okay, you're going to be okay..." He said, his voice soft but firm, slowly taking a step forward.

"No. No, I'm not." She said, despite the fact that she had the corner of a blade against her skin, her voice was almost eerily calm but tears continued to cascade down her cheeks.

"Please, put it down… stop hurting yourself." He pleaded, carefully moving a step closer.

Seeing the look on his face broke her heart but she looked down and admitted, "It doesn't hurt."

"Avery…"

Taking in a few fast, shallow breaths she said, "If I don't move forward there can't be a past!"

His voice started to shake as he said, "Just take a deep breath, and think about what you're doing. Think about everyone and everything you'll be leaving behind… you can't do this."

"I want to die…" She sobbed, her tears running off her pale face as she pinned her eyes shut.

He started to take another step forward he tried to keep calm in an attempt to not stress her out any more than she already was, but he paused and his attention was quickly drawn to the door when he heard someone running up the stairs.

"Stop!" Parrish ordered as he saw a very worried looking Derek starting into the room. He could feel the despair and pain Avery was in from outside of the house and just as he'd gotten in the door he could hear her crying and saying she wanted to die.

Coming to a stop Derek looked between the young deputy was standing in the middle of her room, slowly trying to make his way to bathroom. As Avery's dad, Richard was standing paralyzed against the wall where the flat screen tv should have been mounted if it wasn't currently broken on the floor.

Derek started to walk farther into the room, but Parrish stopped him again still trying to speak in a calm voice for Avery's sake as he pointed out, "We can't stress her anymore… she's got a razor blade in her hand."

The werewolf looked back to the bathroom, but he could already smell her blood knowing she was injured before he ever even saw the red liquid trickling off her forearm.

"I want this… I just want it all over to be, I want to die." Avery repeated, staring down to her arm not even seeming to notice that Derek was now there too.

"No you don't." Deputy Parrish argued, starting to take another step, but paused as she pushed the blade into her skin and he saw some blood come to the surface. He was now aware of a few other cuts across her forearm, but none of them deep enough to be severe.

"I do, I –I can't do this anymore… I tried, but I can't… I just want it to end. I… have to stop, if I don't move forward there can never be a past." She repeated what her hallucination of Kate had tormented her with.

As he saw her lower her head and stare down to the blade as she started to open her skin up more, he frantically called out, "Hey! Hey, look at me! Just keep looking at me!"

But she didn't raise her head as she started to push the blade deeper into her skin until Derek stepped forward, ignoring Parrish's protests as he yelled, "Avery!"

Jumping slightly she pulled the blade from her skin and looked up to see Derek slowly, but steadily making his way towards her.

Parrish looked over at him, realizing Derek was getting through to her much better than he'd been. He swallowed hard and nodded for him to keep talking to her, expecting Derek to keep a low, calm voice like he'd been doing to keep from stressing her more, but clearly Derek had a different way of handling things as he loudly ordered, "Avery, put it down."

The blonde teenager looked between Derek and Parrish with an unstable look in her eyes, like she wasn't sure either of them were really there.

"Put it down." Derek ordered again, causing Parrish to quickly say "Whatever you're going through right now, whatever it is that you think is worth ending your life over, I swear to you it's not. No problem is ever that big… and there is always a solution. You just… you have to try."

"I –I don't want to try anymore…" She admitted, her body shook from her loud, pained cries.

Derek shot the deputy a look before he took another step closer, he was only a short distance from her but it felt like a million miles standing between them.

"What about your family? Your friends… think about everyone you'll be leaving here… think about Teagan." He pleaded, Parrish's brain raced with everything he'd learned about Avery, trying to come up with anything he could to get through to her as Derek continued to step closer to the bathroom.

"I'm like poison… all I do is hurt everyone around me." She mumbled out, along with something he couldn't understand, glancing over his shoulder to her dad for help. But Richard was standing in her room, watching them seemingly paralyzed by what was happening.

"That isn't true." Derek argued, keeping his eyes on her.

"It is!" She shouted, making all three men jump from the sudden outburst.

"Avery, look at me..." He pleaded, feeling like no amount of reasoning was going to get through to her. But he felt a small glimmer of hope as she looked at him, and he continued, "Just keep looking at me, you're going to be okay… I'm here."

Tears started to stream down her face as she said, "If I don't move forward there can't be a past!"

Kneeling down beside her, Derek reached forward, holding onto the thin, sharp metal trying to keep her from applying anymore pressure and cutting too deeply.

"Let go. It's okay, I'm here." He said, his voice was slightly hoarse as he spoke to her.

Taking in a loud breath that shook her entire frame she whispered, "You're not here, you're not real… nothing is real, not anymore... I'm faceless."

Realizing she wasn't going to let go, he grabbed onto the blade, wincing as it sliced into his own skin as he tried to pull it away from her but she held onto the thin blade with determined fingers –like she was on some sort of mission.

Deputy Parrish watched with slightly widened eyes as he could see blood starting to run from Derek's hand as he gripped onto the blade even tighter trying to keep her from hurting herself any more than she already had.

Feeling something running over her arm and wrist she looked down at her arm with red, bloodshot eyes until she realized it wasn't her blood. Looking at him she saw his hand was bloody, as he still clutched onto the blade –even though his skin was starting to heal around it.

"Let go." He repeated, this time his voice was much softer than before.

Her fingers trembled, but slowly she released her grip and he quickly took it away. Wincing as he had to pull it from his own skin before throwing it across the room.

Slowly her eyes traveled up farther until they locked with his as he stared helplessly back at her. So many thoughts were racing through his head, anger at her for even thinking about ending her life, at himself for not realizing exactly how bad off she was. Fear, that if he'd showed up any later she could have been dead. Devastation at the idea of losing her.

Shaking his head back and forth he cleared his throat to try and say something, anything, as she wrapped her arms around herself and her small frame shook from loud cries and gasps for air, but then his eyes landed on the empty pill bottle beside her. Leaning closer he grabbed onto the sides of her face, smearing his still drying blood on her as he asked, "Did you take something?"

Her eyes blinked a few times, like she being pulled from a trance and wasn't sure herself what was happening.

"Damn it, Avery… answer me, did you take these!" He yelled as he grabbed the bottle and held it in front of her face, his eyes glowed blue as he yelled louder than before.

Another tear left a mascara darkened trail down her cheek as her eyes move back and forth watching the glowing blue orbs from his eyes.

"Your eyes…" She breathed reaching out and laying a hand on the side of his face as he stared at her with a mix of concern and confusion on his face before he blinked and they went back to normal as he fought to keep his anger under control.

He opened his mouth to ask her about the pills again but she dropped her hand from his face and threw her head back against the wall as she whispered under her breathed, "I saw them that night…" Her voice trailed off as her mind flashed back to when she'd had to go back through her memories with Teagan to find the nemeton. Even as little kid when she saw those glowing blue eyes in the woods she wasn't afraid of them. In fact, she'd tried to get out of the car to find the source of the bright blue eyes until scared nine year old Teagan latched onto her arm and kept her from getting out of the car.

"Avery, focus!" Derek said, as he tried again to ask her about the pills again, but she continued to quietly mumble, "I think I knew then… as impossible as it is, I think I just knew it was you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He questioned, glancing over his shoulder to see both Avery's dad and Deputy Parrish still in the bedroom.

Moving her head from the wall she gave a small shrug and looked down to the still bleeding cuts across her forearms, but she couldn't focus on the crimson lines for long as he held the pill bottle out in in front of her face and yelled, "Did you take these?"

Cringing from his voice she reached out and gently took the bottle from him, reading the label her voice sounded almost alien as she quietly answered, "I should have…"

With the simple statement she dropped the bottle into the toilet bowl, where he then saw the other pills dissolving in the water.

Breathing a sigh of relief he lowered his head for a moment, thankful for that small victory at least.

But when he heard her heart rate pick up he looked back up to see she had a new set of tears rolling her down her already soaked cheeks.

"You're going to be okay... we'll figure this out." He said, his voice was hoarse as he spoke to her.

Taking in a loud breath that shook her entire frame she whispered, "You're not here."

"I'm right here." He assured her, his eyes wide with the pain of the thoughts of losing her.

"You're not going to leave me…" She asked, looking up at him, as her hallucination slowly started to fade and she couldn't hear Kate's voice in her head anymore.

"I'm not leaving." He promised, looking over to the side as Deputy Parrish stepped into the large bathroom with them and grabbed a clean rag from the side of the sink.

"Everyone always leaves me." She said to him as more tears welled up in her eyes and she looked over to where the crimson stained blade was on her tile floor.

"Not me, okay? Not anymore… I'm not leaving again." He breathed out, causing her to look up at him again as she stared at him, wanting to believe he was telling the truth, but everything that had happened in her life wouldn't let her fully believe it.

Parrish looked between them as he thought of how Avery had told him about the connection she and Derek had, which he was now able to clearly see. He'd watched Derek maybe not handle the situation as gently as the average person considering all of his yelling and demanding she put the blade down, but he'd managed to stop her –even if he had to hurt himself in the process.

He'd once told Avery that she was more than just words on paper, more than what her files at the police station said. And now he was starting to see maybe the same could be said for Derek too, that despite all of his arrests and even running from the police when he'd been accused of trying kill Avery and her friends in the school one night –he knew there was more to the story; more to their story.

Avery stared down to her wrist, every movement she made felt like she was moving in Jell-O, as she stared at the profusely bleeding wound that she could have sworn wasn't there a minute prior. She could feel herself starting to slip away again, drifting farther away from him even though they were in the same room.

Seeing something poke out of the open skin, she pulled out a bloody feather as she asked, "Do you see it?"

Deputy Parrish and Derek both looked at her while she held out her hand empty hand, "Tell me what you see…" Parrish finally said, as he and Derek both watched her closely.

She opened her mouth but all that came out was a blood curdling scream as she watched a black bird dig its way out of her wrist, before flying away, spraying the walls with blood spatter from its flapping wings.

"Avery!" Derek shouted over her screams as he tried to hold onto her but she fought against him, until she finally came all the way out of her nightmare and saw her intact wrist. And realized it was just a nightmare, the entire thing was a nightmare.

Only when she raised her head and saw both of them staring at her, she hung her head in shame. She'd lost control, lost her handle on reality and now other people –ones she cared about were getting a glimpse inside of her crazy.

Her lips quivered as she looked at Derek with a completely lost look in her red rimmed eyes, "I…" she sobbed pinning her eyes shut and looking to where he was holding the towel against her wounds, "I… just, I –I don't know that's wrong with me."

He didn't know what to say to her, so he just reached forward, gently sliding her out of the tight place she'd wedged herself in into, before he picked her weakened body up, an arm under her back and the other arm under her legs as she reached up with her good arm and held onto his neck; burring her face against him. Wanting desperately to not feel so cold and alone, but for the moment she was too far gone and the darkness inside of her too deep to feel anything but cold despair that came from feeling completely and utterly alone

Parrish watched as Derek stood up with her in his arms and turned around guiding them out of the bathroom, before Derek sat down on the bed with her and continued to hold her close while she cried and clutched onto him, her entire body trembling

Richard stared at them and then glanced over to where Deputy Parrish was walking out of the bathroom, before he shook his head unable to death with what was happening at the moment and he had to leave the room to catch his breath.

~()~

Isaac walked back into the bedroom with a huge grin on his face. Teagan sat up in bed, a confused look still on her face, as she watched him walk over to her desk to grab her laptop.

He walked over to the bed, holding out his hand as he told her to come with him. She shot him a look, still wondering what he was up to, but she trusted him. She didn't know much in life, but that she did know she trusted him with everything.

Teagan laid her hand in his larger one and felt him pulling her up from the bed. With her laptop in one hand and her hand in his other, he turned to leave the bedroom, pulling her along behind him.

He led her down the stairs and into the living room, where her surprise was waiting. Her eyes widen in shock and smile appeared on her face, when she saw what he had done. He had grabbed a spare sheet from the linen closet and stretched it over the couch and some chairs, forming a makeshift tent for them to crawl under.

Isaac smiled, seeing the look on her face, then said,"I made us a bigger version of a safety bubble. Kind of a tent/fort sorta thing."

"I love it." Teagan said, as she looked over at him. "I love it, and I love you."

"I love you too." Isaac said back. He pulled on her hand, wanting her to follow him, as he added, "But you haven't seen the best part."

The two walked over toward the makeshift tent then crawled inside it where he had every spare pillow and comforter he could find inside it, making a comfy bed for them to lay on. He also had some Chinese food delivered for them and had several of her favorite movies waiting for them to watch.

He sat her laptop down and opened it up, before he picked up one of the movies to put in there. "I know Chinese and old movies is what you had planned with the girls, but I figured it was something we could do. Or if you wanted to order something else, we can have that delivered instead, or if you wanted to watch something else, that is fine too. Just whatever you want to-"

Before he could finished his sentence, she laid her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him toward her as she shut him up with a kiss. She rested her forehead against his, as she whispered, "No, this is fine. This.. all of this... is perfect. I wouldn't change a thing."

Isaac pulled back to look at her, a smile on his face at knowing he made her happy. "I'm glad you like it, but just to let you know, I draw the line at tiaras and jewelry."

Teagan chuckled at his comment, as she laid her hands on either side of his face. "Aw come on, babe, you would look adorable in a tiara. You will be the belle of the ball."

Isaac laughed as he shook his head, then said,"You might can talk me into watching a Princess movie. But a tiara? Hell no, not happening."

"It's happening." Teagan teased, as she nodded her head.

"Not happening." Isaac argued back before he leaned forward to press his lips against hers, stopping her from arguing back with him, giving him the last word.

He laid his hand on the back of her head, as he lowered her toward the floor, his lips still attached to hers. She pulled back to look at him, a smile on her face, as she reached down to grab the bottom of his shirt and began to pull it up over his head.

She laid her hands on his bare chest then ran them down until she got to the waistband of his blue jeans. Before she could do anything else, he laid his hand on top of hers, stopping her.

"Teagan, we don't- this isn't why I did this. We don't have to-"

"I know." Teagan whispered. She leaned forward, softly kissing his lips, before continuing,"But I want to." She pulled back to look at him, as she added,"I've missed this and I've missed you, Isaac. Things haven't been good in a while, but this is the first time that things have slowed down enough so that we can start trying to heal."

She reached up to softly caressed his face, as she whispered,"Nothing makes me happier than being with you. You're my calm, you make everything better. You make me better. I love you."

"I love you." Isaac said back, as he leaned forward to press his lips against hers again for a tender kiss.

The two quickly got lost in each other, not paying any attention to the movie playing on her laptop. At the moment, all they needed was each other. After all the bad stuff that happened; hallucinations, close calls and losing friends, they had a lot of lost time to make up for, and nothing could heal them more than being together.

Afterwards, the two were laid together on the makeshift bed, cuddled up together with a comforter wrapped around them. Teagan smiled as she kissed his bare chest, then laid her head down, enjoying the stillness and the silence.

Isaac ran his fingers through her hair, just holding her close. The two were quiet for a little bit longer, until he lightly touch the side of her head, before asking,"So how is it going in there? I mean, since the door was close."

"Good. Quiet." Teagan answered. "There's been no yelling, no nightmares, no hallucinations, nothing. My thoughts are my own again."

"That's good." Isaac said, as he began to play with her hair again. "I'm glad Avery was able to close the door, but I got to be honest, that night scared the hell out of me. I wasn't sure if you would ever wake up, if Avery was going to wake up, if both of you would be okay. I had no clue what would happen and that terrified me."

"You pulled me back." Teagan pointed out. "You always pull me back."

"And I always will." Isaac said back. "That was a good idea calling in that cop for Avery. At first I had no idea what you were thinking, why you would call him, but it helped her. We got Avery back. How did you know he could do that?"

"I saw the way he was looking at her that night when the Oni attacked. I don't know what is going on there, but I had a feeling he would be good for her."

Isaac nodded his head, as he said,"It was a good call. All I know is, I'm glad it worked out and you two woke up. I can't lose you, Teagan." He kissed the top of her head, as he added,"I can't ever lose you."

"You won't." Teagan said, as she raised her head to look at him. "I'm okay now. Nothing like that will happen again, and I'm not going anywhere."

Isaac smiled at her words, as he leaned forward to press his lips against hers. He rolled them over, laying her on her back and hovering above her, as he said,"Good, plus if you did try to go somewhere, I would just have to follow you." He tapped the end of her nose, causing her to chuckle, as he added,"I'll go where ever you go, babe."

"Maybe we should." Teagan suggested.

"Should what?" Isaac asked.

"Go somewhere. Just pack a bag and leave. I mean, not for good, but just a vacation or something. We could both use a break. We could both use some healing." She explained.

"Like the kind of healing we just did?" Isaac questioned with a grin on his face.

"Yes, plenty of that." Teagan said with a laugh. She bit her bottom lip as she said,"I definitely need more of that."

Isaac laughed as he lowered his head, pressing his lips against her bare shoulder, leaving light kisses against her skin. He raised his head back to look at her, as he asked,"Do I need to schedule another healing session now?"

"I think you should." Teagan said with a nod, as she smiled at him.

"I think I can do that." Isaac said, as he smiled back. "Something did just come up."

"Oh, my God!" Teagan said, as she laughed out loud. She placed her hands over her face, as she laughed again, before removing them and looked at him. "You did not just say that!"

Isaac laughed along with her, as he shrugged his shoulders, and asked,"What? What was wrong with that? It got you to laugh, right?"

"Yes, yes it did. You and your awkward ass comments." Teagan said, as she laughed again.

"So that is what you and Avery meant by me making awkward comments?" Isaac questioned.

"That is exactly what we meant." Teagan said, with a nod. She smiled at him, as she said,"But it's okay, cause it's one of the many things I love about you."

He smiled back at her as he lowered his head, pressing his lips against her for a gentle kiss. He let her set the pace for a little bit, then he placed his hand on the back of her head, cradling her, as he deepened the kiss. He grinned against her lips, before nibbling on her bottom lip. He slipped his other hand under the comforter, lightly running his fingers down her side and causing her to shiver at his touch and let out a quiet moan.

He moved his hand down a little lower, heading for a certain area, until they heard the house phone began to ring. Teagan lowered her eyebrows in confusion, not many people called the landline much anymore. If someone needed her they called her cell and if they needed her dad, they would call his cell.

As the phone continued to ring, Isaac groaned, as he lowered his head, pressing his lips against her bare shoulder for a quick kiss, then rolled off of her to lay on his back beside her.

Teagan was close to telling him to just ignore it, not wanting to ruin this good moment, but she had this feeling that it could be important; never realizing that single phone call would change everything.

~()~

"Here." Parrish quietly said as he walked over to them and handed Derek the clean washcloth. He glanced up at him nodding in thanks as he took the clean rag and then looked down Avery's still injured and bleeding arm.

Giving them some space, Parrish lingered in the door way watching as Derek wrapped the cloth around her injured forearm before he left to check on Avery's dad.

As he applied pressure to her sore skin she pulled in a quick, pained breath and he could hear her heart starting to pick up speed. Closing her eyes she thought about how she deserved that pain, until slowly it subsided and her eyes fluttered open to see the veins in Derek's hand and arms were raised and dark as he took some of her pain away.

"I'm sorry…" she breathed, as tears streaked her cheeks again and her voice cracked.

"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" He questioned, as he looked down to where he was cradling her in his arms, but didn't give her a chance to answer as he continued, "Do you even know what you just about did? You damn neared killed yourself."

She nodded as she roughly wiped the tears from her cheeks with the hand from her uninjured arm.

"Don't just sit there and nod, do you know what losing you would do to me?" Through his angry expression she saw the pain she was causing him, "You are more important to me than anything else."

Her heart sank and she couldn't breathe as she saw the pain in his eyes, not only was holding it all in and trying to deal with everything herself, killing her but it was also killing him.

More tears rolled down her flushed cheeks as she admitted, "You wouldn't think that if you knew how messed up I was. If you only knew half the things that go through my head, you'd run."

He was quiet for a moment as he watched her and regretted ever trying to push her away in the first place. They'd agreed they didn't function right as a couple, that they weren't good for each other But mainly he'd left because he knew she could do better and more than anything just wanted her to be safe and happy. When he'd told her he didn't come back to Beacon Hills for her, it was mostly a lie-he did have other reasons for returning but the main thing was that as much as he tried to remind himself that she was better off with his being gone, he couldn't stay away from her.

Shaking his head back forth he reached forward cradling her face in his hands as he assured her, "There is nothing you can say or do that will make me leave again. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere… I love you."

Her eyes darted back and forth as she searched his face hardly able to hide her surprise at his words, even when they were together she'd told him she loved him first and even after that she was almost always the one to say it first.

He stared at her for a few more seconds before he pulled her against him in a tight embrace, with one hand cradling the back of her head. Nestling in against his body she held onto him as if the world was ending; because if he'd showed up to the house much later, it would have.

"I, uh, I called Teagan… she's on her way." Richard said as he and Parrish walked in the room.

Nodding Avery glanced up to Derek before slowly sliding off of his lap and the bed, and she stood with wobbling knees and looked at her dad, who said, "I know you're going to hate this but you've got to get help, Avery. I've asked Teagan to help you decide on somewhere."

Richard braced himself, expecting an angry outburst from her but she nodded, "It's okay… I know… I can't keep going on like this anymore."

He stared at her, feeling like even the smallest thing could set her off. Clearing his throat, he said, "Avery…"

"Yeah?" She weakly asked.

Stepping forward he pulled her into a hug so tight she could barely breathe as he said, "Don't you ever do anything like that to me again! Ever!"

She agreed, but her voice was muffled by his shirt as he held her tighter and thanked both the young deputy still standing in the room with them, and Derek as he stood from the bed.

Her dad, finally let go and took a step back as he explained how Parrish told to him that until she left for the treatment facility, she shouldn't be left alone. And the house needed to be gone through, all hazards or anything she could use to hurt herself needed to be locked away.

~()~

Avery looked down to her dad's closed laptop on the coffee table next to her as she sat on it facing Derek as he sat on the couch in the front living room, bandaging up her arm. The pair sat in silence, neither of them too sure what to say to other.

Finally breaking the silence if the room he quietly asked, "What were you talking about earlier?"

She looked at him with a questioning look and he clarified, "Something about my eyes…"

"Oh…" She breathed out, looking down to her arm as he taped another piece of gauze over the wounds, "I was just thinking about this time when i was a kid."

"What?" He asked looking up at her confused.

Closing her eyes she swallowed hard and said, "When I put myself into a state of sub-consciousness to help Teagan find the nemeton… we had to relive this memory together of when we were kids and your mom had called my mom for help with something."

Seeing he was paying attention she continued, "We were supposed to stay in the car… and I was looking around trying to catch a glimpse of you, like I always was." She admitted with a small laugh causing him to smile as she continued.

"It was a full moon that night and I looked into the woods and saw these pair of glowing blue eyes in the darkness… I probably should have been terrified." She reasoned shaking her head and saying, "But I wasn't, in fact I tried to get out of the car but Teagan was terrified and grabbed onto me."

Seeing him smile again as he looked back down and applied the last of the tape she asked, 'What?"

"Nothing, I just never knew any of that." He admitted, glancing up at her.

She gave him a small smile back before she looked away and blew out a heavy breath as she said, "My dad's right… I'm going to have to leave again, out of town to some treatment place." Sighing she added, "Just like before."

"I know." He replied, as much as he hated the idea of her going away and him not seeing her for a while, he knew this was what she needed to get better.

"I don't know how long I'll be gone." He heard her voice crack as she spoke.

Trying to soothe her nerves some he said, "Don't worry about that, it doesn't matter how long you're gone as long as you get better. That's the most important thing right now."

"And you?" She breathed, fearful of his response.

"I'll still be here when you get back." He assured her, already knowing what she was worried about. That'd she'd leave and by the time she got back he'd be gone.

"Promise?" She quietly asked, raising her head and looking at him.

"I promise." He said, as he their eyes met and he reached up tucking some of her hair behind her ear and offered her a small smile, but she was too beat down to return it. Especially since she wasn't entirely sure she believed him.

"Did my dad call you when he called the police?" She questioned, wondering why he was there in the first place.

"No… I came over as soon as I got your message. I knew by your voice, something was wrong." He explained as he continued, "What happened… what were you seeing?"

Tears stung her already sore, raw eyes and she pulled in a deep, shuddering breath and shrugged, "Everything I guess… I'm seeing things that aren't real and hallucinating things…"

"Like what?" He questioned, just trying to understand what had pushed her so far over the edge.

"Like… Kate Argent for one." She whispered, refusing to look at him.

A pained look spread over his face, he knew she'd never dealt with what Kate did to her.

Leaning forward some he held onto her chin and tilted her face until she looked at him and he reminded her, "Kate's dead, she can't hurt you… not anymore, not ever again."

"That's the thing…" She weakly responded as she pointed to her head and said, "In here, she's never stopped hurting me."

"I'm sorry." He genuinely whispered as their eyes locked.

Kate getting hold of Avery and torturing her, using her against him –that was something he'd never forgive himself for. He should have been able to protect her, to keep her safe but he'd failed her on several occasions.

She started to opened her mouth to tell him it wasn't his fault and he had nothing to be sorry for, but no sound came as she continued to stare into his eyes. Before she was even sure what was happening their faces started to move closer together, but just as their lips were almost touching she heard the front door crash open.

"A!" Teagan yelled out, fear strong in her voice.

"She's okay." Richard said as started down the stairs and nodded to the right as he continued, "She's in the front living room."

Without wasting another second Teagan ran into the room, with Isaac right on her heels.

'"Oh my god… A." Teagan said tears immediately running down her face as she saw Avery and Derek both standing up, both of them still bloody from the struggled over the blade in the bathroom.

Isaac gently rubbed his hands up and down her arms, trying to calm her but in Teagan's mind all she could picture was the night she'd almost lost her best friend, the night Kate had cut Avery's wrist and left her dead. There was blood, so much blood and by the time they'd reached the hospital Teagan had been soaked in her blood too.

Those were the images she'd had in her head the whole way to the house, even though Isaac assured her over and over that if she was badly hurt they'd be on their way to hospital and not her house. But now here she was staring at her best friend's pale face with blood smeared across one of her cheeks and on her clothes. Not to mention the blood that was also on Derek.

"I'm okay." Avery tried to say, but she didn't get a word out before Teagan rushed forward and pulled her into a hug and closed her eyes, thankful that they'd been able to stop her before she hurt herself any worse.

Avery rested her head on the brunettes shoulder and listened as her dad asked Isaac and Derek to help him clear the house of things that could be dangerous to Avery, as he filled in Isaac in on what Parrish had told him before the young deputy had left.

Avery raised her head and watched over her best friends shoulder with a pained expression as Derek and Isaac left the room with her dad, before she laid her head back down on her friends shoulder with her eyes full of tears.

~(Later that night)~

Avery sat on the couch in the front family room, in a pair of sleeping shorts and an oversized dark gray sweatshirt, her hair was up in a bun on top of her head, still wet from the quick shower she'd taken, and was now staring at the phone she was holding in her hands.

"Do you want me call?" Teagan quietly asked.

Avery stared up to the ceiling where they could hear movement from upstairs; her dad and Isaac trying to remove everything she could possibly hurt herself with from the house.

"I don't wanna go back there…" She admitted, "They're gonna remember me, and think I'm such a failure, it's only been a few years since I was there."

Teagan picked up the crumpled piece of paper that Avery's dad had given his daughter a while before, with the number to the treatment facility she'd been to in Long Beach when she was 14 and tried to commit suicide.

"Nobody is going to think you're a failure at anything." Teagan said, then choked back tears as she reminded her, "And even if some dumbass does think that, just remember you're Avery Dukate… and since when have you cared what anyone else thought?"

Avery let out a small laugh as she looked at her with watery eyes.

Teagan wiped a tear from her own cheek and closed her eyes for a few moments as she replayed the call she'd gotten from Avery's dad a few hours before; saying that he wanted her to come and sit with Avery and help him convince her to go get the help she needed.

She'd never forget that phone conversation for as long as she lived, at first she thought it was Avery calling her from the landline instead of her cellphone, but it was her dad. Which at first wasn't too concerning until he asked if she could come help him with Avery.

When she asked what for she never expected the answer she'd gotten, "I had to call 911…she locked herself in her room and s-she tried to kill herself."

Looking back now she honestly didn't remember even leaving her house, she couldn't remember if she'd drive there or if it had been Isaac. After that phone call every single second was a blur until she burst through the front door and saw her friend was okay.

"I can't go back there, T. I just can't." She whispered again as she looked down to her bare legs

Reaching forward Teagnan picked up Richard's laptop computer from the coffee table and opened it, as she scooted closer to her best friend and said, "You don't want go to back to that one, it's okay. We'll find an even better one."

Nodding Avery slid down in her seat some as she leaned over, resting her head on Teagan's shoulder as the girls searched for a treatment facility to help her come to terms with all of the loss and trauma she'd suffered and help her find ways of dealing with stress.

"Here's this one…" Teagan said as she read over the website for an in-patient treatment place, but Avery didn't even look up as she sighed, "Ironic isn't it… that our lives are full of supernatural problems, and then I end up with a problem that can't be fixed supernaturally." Avery thought back to being in Eichen and the diagnoses the psychiatrist had given her

"What's wrong with you?" The brunette let out a small gasp as she realized how it sounded, then quickly tried to word it better, "I mean what…"

"It's okay."

"It's really not, A. I didn't mean it the way it sounded." Teagan said, now also not paying attention to the computer.

"I know what you meant… and I think a combination of things." She didn't raise her head from her friends shoulder as she admitted, "When I was at Eichen House, the doctor wrote in my file that I have temporary psychosis brought on by severe depression, but Parrish seems to think it's PTSD."

"I don't know for sure what's going on, but there's just so much… noise in my head. My thoughts are constantly racing to the point where I'm lucky if I get any sleep at all. I'm seeing things that aren't there…" Avery's voice trailed off as she pinned her eyes shut and tried to ignore the jittery feeling all over body

With raised eyebrows Teagan started to ask how much she'd told the deputy about everything, but Avery kept talking, "Either way, it doesn't matter. It just means that there is something wrong with me… something that I can't fix on my own and I hate it."

She could hear the blonde talking through gritted teeth and tears stung her eyes as she said, "You know, you can't fix everything on your own. And the great thing is that you don't have to do it all on your own, you've got me and Isaac, not to mention all our other friends."

"Yeah, but when people find out about this they're going to think I'm certifiably crazy."

Teagan frowned, not sure what to say to make her friend feel better.

Both girls looked up as Derek walked through the room on his way a storage room where Avery kept some weapons stored.

Teagan's eyebrows pushed together some with a tinge of anger as she considered that it seemed like every time Derek found a way back into her best friend's like, the more Avery's world seemed to fall apart.

Taking a deep breath she pushed the anger to the side and started to ask Avery something but paused as she saw her and Derek exchange a look for before he disappeared down the hallway.

Turning her attention back to Avery, Teagan raised her eyebrows in question wondering if something was going on between them again. She knew that they'd slept together a few times since they broke up, but other than that she wasn't aware they were even talking much anymore.

Avery gave a small shrug as a silent response which caused Teagan to ask, "Why is Derek here anyways?"

"I called him before… well, before I snapped." Her friend quietly said.

Teagan opened her mouth to ask more but Avery quickly cut her off and changed the subject, "I'll miss you while I'm away." Avery softly whispered, as her chin quivered. The last thing she wanted to do was leave town now, her friends needed her. But she knew now she couldn't push things down any longer, she'd end up hurting someone else or killing herself from everything bottled up inside.

Diverting her eyes from the screen, Teagan quietly said back, "Miss me? As soon as they allow you to have visitors, I'm going to be there all the time."

"That's a really long drive…"

"Not from a nearby hotel it won't be." Teagan answered with a smile.

Raising her head Avery said, "Come on, T. This isn't the titanic… with the whole, I jump-you jump thing."

Teagan couldn't help but smile at her friend using her own words against her, that was the term she'd use whenever Avery would make her friends problems her own.

"You're my sister and there is no way that you're going off to some center without me just being a short drive away." She sternly said, then sighed, "Plus, I think I could really use some time away from town too, everything I see makes me think of Allison…"

Her voice cracked and her sentence trailed off, a few more tears slid down Avery's cheeks as she nodded in understanding, ever since losing her friend she felt the same way. She couldn't drive past a restaurant they'd eaten at without breaking down in tears.

"But I'll be so worried about you in some hotel by yourself." Avery continued to argue.

"Who said I was going to be alone." She answered mysteriously, but Avery already knew who she was talking about.

"I think it might really do you guys some good to take a vacation." She finally agreed.

Teagan nodded with a small smile at the idea of going away with Isaac, just the two of them.

"Hey A, look at this place…"

As Avery lifted her head and looked at the screen Teagan read some of it out loud, "It says they focus on a holistic approach to recovery. Private rooms… 5 star dining, they have a gym."

Her dark brown eyes read farther down the list as he gasped, "They even have a spa!"

"Hmm." Avery hummed as she leaned in closer as her friend opened up a virtual tour of the facility, "Maybe this could be the place… it's doesn't look that bad."

"Not that bad? I'm thinking about skipping the hotel and getting a room next to yours in here." Teagan joked, trying to lighten the mood and smiled ear to ear as she heard the sound of her friend laughing. A sound she had heard much at all of lately.

The two girls continued their search late into the night, trying to find the best possible place for Avery to go with good hotels nearby for Teagan and Isaac to stay at. Both of them nervous for what the future may hold, but knew this was a step in the right direction for them. Getting away from Beacon Hills might just be exactly what they all needed.

~ A Teen Wolf fanfiction collaboration between Miss E Charlotte and Sage Londyn ~

A/N- Well, there it is! The end of The Dark Blue Moon! ^_^

We want to thank you all so much for the all of the support you've shown. Thank you to everyone who followed the story and/or added it to your favorites. We literally do something Blue Moon Series related every single day and to know that we have readers who appreciate all of the hard work we put into this and who love the girls as much as we do –that honestly means the world to us both. So thank you!

We'll have the sequel up as soon as we can. It's going to cover season 4 of Teen Wolf, and it will be a Derek/oc and Isaac/oc story. We cannot wait to share the next Blue Moon installment with all of you! ^_^ If you'd like either me or Miss E Charlotte to let you know when the new story is up just let us know in a review or a message, we don't mind letting you guys know when it's been posted.

Also, up on my profile page the link is now active for the official season 4 video ^_^ Don't forget to check it out and see what's coming in A New Blue Moon

Thank you for everything, you've all been amazing and so supportive!