Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.

Note: This was inspired by a picture I saw on Deviantart. To see it type in the website and add (without spaces) at the end: / art / ST-Ghosts-175155771

Ghosts

Part 1 – Ghosts of Vulcan

Jim knows, better than most, how people can be haunted by ghosts.

Not ghosts in the most literal sense, of course. Well, at least as far as he knew, since it was a very big universe.

Still, the ghosts he was taking were not the spooky ones that pop out at Halloween. They were not the ghosts that were people seeking vengeance for their deaths or unable to move on to a different plane of existence. Those sorts of things were just on television shows and movies.

Real ghosts were made from memories.

It was the thought of loved ones, people a person once knew that were long gone.

Furthermore, it was not the ghosts' regrets that caused them to stick around. It was the haunted person's regrets that created the ghosts and made them stick.

Jim's experiences with ghosts came from his mother. There were times when she would look right at him and see a ghost, not him. She would sometimes shut down or leave the planet and have Frank of all people in charge of him.

He had hated it. It wasn't his fault that he and his father looked alike. It wasn't his fault that he had died. Why did he have to pay the price? Why did his mom have to suffer?

There hadn't been anything he could really do. After all, he had just been a kid.

Still, his experience had made him know how to tell when someone is being haunted.

That's why it doesn't take him very long to notice that Spock is being haunted.

Of course, Jim had already been trying to keep an eye on the Vulcan. He had lost his whole planet, a majority of his species, and, on a more personal level, his mother. He had been in so much emotional pain that when prodded he had tried to strangle Jim (which he had been asking for, but whatever). It makes sense that the experience would haunt the guy.

Jim had been ecstatic when Spock had joined the crew, taking the role of both Chief Science Officer and First Officer. It wasn't just because of what Old Spock had said. When the two had worked together to take down Nero, they had worked together seamlessly. He had never worked so well with someone before, not even Bones. Jim found himself wanting that.

Naturally, once the Vulcan joined the crew, he wanted to know more about him. He had asked Pike for anything he could tell him about the Vulcan's habits. It was fairly stereotypical: he had an excellent work effort, highly intelligent, always ready to answer any questions with a wide range of knowledge, tendencies to keep to himself, loyal, a skilled fighter despite preferring more peaceful negotiations, and if you try to interfere in something he deems private, expect to encounter those fighting skills as you're thrown into a wall. Nothing too surprising.

The thing that was surprising was that Pike had noted that Spock already had a self-sacrificing nature. If he had it before, who knew how his losses would make it worse?

Still, Jim was glad to see Spock interacting and becoming part of the crew.

Spock was sometimes the only one who could understand what Chekov was saying, and the Russian seemed to look up at the Vulcan as a mentor after he got over his guilt from not being able to say his mother. Spock, in return, took Chekov under his wing and taught him what he wanted to know. It was interesting to watch how patient he could be.

Scotty and Spock got along quite well to Jim's surprise. They were both members that had the most experience in Starfleet and actual experience with being on a ship. The two would sit together in the lounge and toss theories and other engineering talk so fast that Jim had a hard time keeping up. Sometimes, Chekov would join them. It was funny to see them together.

Sulu was also a bit of a given when Spock was with Chekov. The pilot and navigator were practically inseparable. Still, Spock also seemed to trust him, and the two would bond over botany and weird plants. On one planet, the two totally started geeking out over an improbable plant growth. They also sparred together, with Spock helping Sulu with his hand-to-hand skills and providing an adequate challenge to the swordsman.

Spock and Bones' relationship was the one that made absolutely no sense to Jim. He couldn't tell if they hated each other or simply enjoyed exchanging sharp banter, poking at each other's natures and skills. Bones was wary of the Vulcan who had beat up his best friend, while Spock seemed to have a distrust of all medical practitioners. The two were always ready to gain up against Jim though, so he thought that that should count for something.

Spock was, of course, in a relationship with Uhura. However, Jim admired the way they managed to remain so professional with each other. Besides the one kiss on the transport pad, he never really saw many other signs of the nature of their relationship. They often were together though, and they seemed happy enough. Despite his curiosity, it wasn't Jim's place to pry unless he wanted to be strangled again.

Of course, the only person Spock spent time with more than Uhura was Jim himself. As Captain and First Officer, they naturally had to do a lot of work together. Jim found himself actually liking the Vulcan now that he got to know him. Spock excelled at the daily running of the ship, often taking care of problems before Jim was even aware of them. He followed Jim's lead, but was ready to pull him back if he started getting too crazy. Spock had more knowledge of the regulations than Jim could ever hope to have and he knew how to bend them to his purposes. He was an interesting dichotomy of peaceful scientist and badass fighter. If his crewmates were threatened, he showed absolutely no mercy.

With the amount of time Jim was sending with him, he was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed how bad things were for the Vulcan. He was sure he was the only one who knew how real the ghosts of Vulcan were to Spock.

Then again, it was not like the signs were very big. It was all in the way that Spock, meticulous and thorough worker that he was, would pause sometimes in the middle of a shift. It was in the way there was a flash of deep pain that would go through his eyes as people offered condolences before the unemotional mask would slam down. It was the blank look would pop up as if he really is a robot on autopilot. Although apparently it had been a tendency before, it was even more apparent in the way he was so ready to protect others during missions but not himself.

All of these were tiny, insignificant. Unless someone knew Spock, they would never notice them. Even less would be able to figure out what they meant.

That was probably why Jim was shocked that Uhura didn't even seem to notice.

He had no clue what they were like in private, but there had been a few times when he had asked some questions about it and she had no idea what he was talking about.

Jim really did not know how those two worked. It worried him that Uhura seemed to have no clue what was going on with Spock and he tried to keep it quiet since being on the Enterprise was something that Spock needed.

It made Jim even gladder that Spock had joined them. His talents would have been wasted had he went to the colony. Also, it was obvious that this was what Spock loved. Someone in his state needed to do what he or she loved. It was a way to be grounded in reality.

Still, Jim decided to do what he could to help.

It started with a chess game.

Jim had heard how good Spock was, and it was an activity he seemed to enjoy. Jim had never played before, but he wanted to do something with Spock outside of their work. So as their shift was ending one evening, he approached him at the science station.

"So, Spock," He tried to be nonchalant. "I've heard that you're good at chest."

"I have been told." Spock replied, not even bothering to look up as he finished of the last bit of observations before he handed of the station to the next shift.

"Is it true that you reprogrammed the computer just to have a challenge?" In some ways, this had reminded Jim of his own hacking tendencies, so he couldn't help but be curious.

"I did indeed reprogram the computer." Spock finally turned to him. "Though at best, the result is a tie."

"Would you teach me?" Jim grinned at the raised eyebrow he received. "I'm sure that once I get the hang of it, I can offer a better challenge than just a tie at best."

He appeared to think about it, and then the Vulcan agreed.

They started with normal chess and then Spock later taught him how to play with a 3D board. Jim managed to keep his promise, in a way. He still hadn't beaten Spock, but his First Officer seemed fascinated by his illogical style of playing. Fairly soon, they were playing at least one game a day. Playing against Jim kept Spock grounded in the here and now, and that was the most important point.

As long as Spock was paying attention to what was happening around him, he had no time to let ghosts from the past drag him back.

Jim did other things as well. He talked to Spock and asked him about his life. He also continued with the playful teasing that he did with everyone.

Slowly, but surely, Jim found himself thinking of Spock as a friend. Not only a friend, but maybe even his best friend (don't tell Bones that though). Sometimes he still wanted to punch the Vulcan or rip his bangs off his head, since the Spock was still quite the stick in the mud. But, as he said, he actually found him liking the Vulcan.

Jim had no clue if Spock knew about why he had first or that ghosts were haunting him. He found that he didn't care, because Spock was his friend and he would take care of him. Jim would make sure that his friend would remain here with him, and not with the ghosts.

Jim didn't want Spock to end up like his mom. There was no way that Jim would let that happen.

Of course, it was easier this time, since Spock's ghosts didn't have his face. As long as Jim was here, Spock would be okay, and so the ship and crew would be okay. Jim would be okay.

There was simply no other way for things to be, and with Jim's stubborn nature, he would make it so.

And there was no reason for Spock to know that he knew as long as he was okay.

Continued in Part 2