Fandral is one heck of a touchy-feely person.
They'd lost a few horses in the scramble before so, naturally, the handsome debonaire decides to lift the mortal up onto his steed and sit behind him to make room for everyone else. Taking perfect opportunity to cop any kind of feel that he wants while they ride.
Tony lets him, only to just humor the guy really, but also because it kind of feels good. And after previous relationships, he can get a little enjoyment out of little fluttery brushes of fingers on skin.
Loki still gives them looks as they ride, mingling disgust at Fandral's behavior maybe, whereas Thor is mainly oblivious to it all and continues to ride beside them.
"One night." Sif says to Fandral as she passes, rolling her eyes, and clearly talking about how debauched they both look, "One night with him, and yet you still manage." Tony bristles a little at that, especially at the smugness that now radiates off of the man behind him, but then he figures that that's probably how everyone else must feel whenever Pepper or Happy comment on him coming out of his bedroom accompanied.
Huh. No wonder they all get pissed after the sex.
"Well, what can I say?" Tony bites, grinning at her, "I'm irresistible." Fandral pushes against him from behind when he laughs but Sif doesn't comment, other than a non-verbal raise of her eyebrows, and kicks her horse into a faster trot. "So." Tony starts up when she's further ahead. "You actually do have a reputation then."
"As do you." Tony cringes at the feel of his beard on he back of his neck, but only because it's slightly ticklish. He relaxes afterward, sighing and leaning back as they ride a little behind everyone else.
"Yeah." Tony agrees, "Just - not used to someone else having one."
"Well. We all do, in our own way." There's a chuckle and Fandral gestures toward Volstagg when Tony looks at him over his shoulder, questioningly, "Apart from Volstagg, of course." Tony snorts, knowing that the other guy probably heard but the lack of response answers him that this sort of teasing is usual. Childish, in a way. Meh. He can get behind that.
"What - even Loki?" He makes a face, "Where does he get off? The local prison?"
Said God glares over his shoulder when Fandral laughs at that, and Tony smiles sweetly when he meets his gaze. Loki completely ignores him though, turning his icy gaze onto Fandral instead and gripping the reins of his horse tighter.
"Loki has more than all of us, Anthony Stark."
Tony decides not to touch that and focuses on a more important subject, "Listen, if you ever want to go anywhere near my ass when we get back, you're going to have to drop that name and just stick with Tony. Okay?"
He doesn't get a reply though, because Thor then stops them, suggesting that Loki make a fire to warm them as they ride. Loki refuses - the bastard - saying that they're not far from the bi-frost anyway and that a fire would cause attention and make it harder to ride. Not to mention that he's exhausted.
"You get tired after using too much magic?" Tony blurts, without thinking. They all look at him but he doesn't let that stop him. "Not - that I believe in magic."
Loki turns his horse toward him. "If you ran for half a day in the cold with nothing but your bare-feet and a fur coat, how would you feel?"
"Is this a trick question?"
Fandral's hands run up his side, slipping under his shirt, and pulling at the fur around his shoulders to hide it from the others. Probably a warning that he's getting a little too on Loki's bad side, but whatever. It's nice so he lets him. But only because it's nice.
"Fandral." Thor suddenly says, rather sharply. Tony snaps his head toward him, startled, "Enough. He is mortal, not a plaything."
Oh - kay.
"Excuse me?" Tony blinks, turning toward him fully. Sif hides her smile behind a hand, beside him, but the next second it's completely gone. "Uh, one: If I didn't want him feeling around, he wouldn't be. Okay. So no 'plaything' shit. Two: What the hell has me being a mortal got to do with anything? I can handle it."
Thor doesn't answer him at all and simply looks him over, before then glareing at Fandral disapprovingly.
"He agreed." Fandral states, lightly. Defensive.
Tony, turning to look at Sif - the only one who seems to get him right now, at least - blanches at her. But she only flips her pony-tail back and smirks at him, amused.
Great. Some help.
The glaring competition doesn't seem to stop anytime soon and Tony eventually gets fed up with it and rolls his eyes, "Um. Thor? Shouldn't we be trying to get back to Asgard instead of nit-picking about who put whose dick in who?"
A slight gag from Volstagg at his wording and then the subject is dropped. Thor continues to look back at them as they ride, however, mostly giving Fandral dark looks, but Tony ignores him.
"So ... bad reputation, then?" Tony asks after about a minute. Fandral bumps against him and hums, thinking.
"Not really." Tony looks at him over his shoulder. He's frowning, for the first time. "Thor is ... protective over his Midgardian team. Your team."
"I can handle myself."
Fandral smiles. "I can see that." His frown reappears however and he looks at Thor, "On Asgard, though, you are naught than a child in our eyes. So, for me to lay with you is - "
"Oh." Tony interrupts him, frowning as well now. "So you're a child-molester then."
"A what?"
"Well that's a new feeling for me." Fandral chuckles behind him, obviously clueless but at least he takes it in his stride. His breath is warm on Tony's neck and cheeks.
"I do not think I understand anything you say."
"That's okay." Tony shrugs, grinning. "No one ever does."
Steve is furious when he sees Tony but seeing him safe seems to counteract that so he drops the issue and just focuses on warming him up. Fandral refuses to take back the fur though, letting him keep it, and winks when Tony narrows his eyes at the generosity.
"Nice case of sex-hair." Is the only thing Natasha comments on after seeing him, clearly still a little touchy after their argument from before, but then she punches him on the shoulder and nods at Fandral. "From Blondie, I'm assuming."
Tony just grins at her, as suggestively as he can manage, and earns a smile. "Maaaybe."
"You're addicted."
"To what, sex or blonds?"
She laughs now, hitting his shoulder again and walking back toward 'her' room. Tony turns to follow back to 'his' own as well, when Loki shoulders past him; hard. "Ow." He takes a step back in revenge, tredding on Loki's foot. It probably doesn't hurt, but it makes him feel better anyway. "What the hell is your problem, jackass, you've got a shoulder made of rock."
Loki just storms past, not even bothering to look back and Thor follows him with his gaze; forlornly.
A hand on Tony's shoulder though, lets him know that Fandral is back, and he elbows him. "Don't."
"I apologize." Is the immediate response, which earns him some points, and the hand drops off of him. "I simply came to ask if you wanted to eat with us. We haven't since we left."
As soon as he says it, Tony's stomach grumbles, which sort of answers that for him. Adrenaline having run out now, so he nods and follows him.
"I'm afraid there are not many seats, though." Fandral says, walking beside him toward the table. "Volstagg takes three just on his own."
"One day, that guy is going to punch you."
"Oh he has, once or twice, already." The smile counteracts any hard feelings though, so maybe they really are just teasing. Best friends and all that. "But as there is not enough room, you may sit on my lap if you wish."
Tony finally sees the table and the amount of space there is to sit makes him pause.
He can't help laughing, it's not even that funny, but he's giggling even as he sits down and Thor's glaring doesn't even ruin his mood at all. He is not sitting on his lap though, just - a little closer than he usually would.