Author's Note: If you wish for this story to have a happy ending, this is a fantastic chapter leave on. However, the true ending will be on the tenth chapter. this one was really lovely to write since it's in the wee hours of the morning and indeed raining outside. And if you want to have the ultimate fan girling /shivers experience, I highly suggest you listen to watch?v=rqTmYyXeNfY around the time they are both standing at the window towards the end of the chapter. Really.

I sat alone in my apartment room. A week had gone by since the kiss; the last time I saw him. I think we both needed a bit of time to think about what happened. In the mean time... I still watched his videos. It was a habit of mine and hard to break despite knowing what had happened. I hadn't known how good of an actor Mark was though because if he had been thinking about the kiss at all, he certainly didn't show it through his videos. It was probably a good thing since the fangirls could almost sniff out romance behind the scenes.

At times, I had to pause my computer and just walk away for a bit because my eyes would draw almost automatically to his lips. I wish I could stop thinking so much about it, it was just a little kiss after all, but somehow different. It certainly hadn't been his first kiss and it hadn't been mine... it wasn't the fact he was a famous youtuber because I couldn't really care less... it was just... him. I could name every cliche and it still wouldn't exactly put into words what I felt. I guess that was the thing about feelings - they were meant to be felt and not perfectly explained.

I almost started to gag at my self, rolling my eyes almost continuously through out the days. Finally, by the end of the week, a knock had arrived and I opened the door to reveal Mark. He must have arrived after just uploading his two videos for the day. He looked slightly nervous but confident as I let him inside. We both sat on the couch awkwardly for a moment before he seemed to dash away his thoughts and take hold of my hands in his.

"Brielle," he began with a deep breath, "I need you."

My eyes widened and my first instinct was to jerk back but if anything, I seemed to lean in a little closer. "What do you mean you need me?"

"I... I really don't know," he laughed slightly and shook his head. "I used to be so stressed out about what people said about me. I mean, some of it was constructive criticism and the rest was water off a ducks back but-" he paused with a frustrated sigh. "It's really demanding and people are always saying that they could do better than me, and believe me, I want them too because it's so fantastic when they believe they can do something. I encourage them to be the best they can possibly be. And I really try too. But since meeting you... since going out on those casual lunches... I feel such a sense of freedom from it all. I am really happy to be helping so many people and I try to work harder and I could work harder-"

I suddenly reached out and hugged him tightly. He went silent and I hugged him a little tighter. Whenever he went off on his ramblings or started to sob in his videos, I had felt helpless to do anything but watch. I felt so happy that I could finally comfort him because sometimes, when he was up there all alone in his own apartment room... I could still hear him crying.

"Thank you Brielle... thank you so much," I heard him sniffle.

Tears started to form in my eyes as I took in a sudden breath, the air having trouble moving smoothly as I got choked up and pressed my face into his shoulder. I never knew I could mean so much to anyone like this, especially not Mark. I had grown to be friends with him and that fact alone astonished me. But what he was telling me now... that he was confessing to me that he wanted to be more than friends... that he needed me... it suddenly made me feel so important. Like I was put here to protect him in this moment, even if for just a small time.

"I am just... a silly little fan girl...I am really not that specia-" I was stopped abruptly when Mark moved away from me and then his lips were suddenly pressed against mine once more. I closed my eyes and turned it slightly, feeling as we held onto each other tightly.

Time fluttered away then fell back as he gently pulled away and I reopened my eyes to his beautiful face, a few tears still speeding down his cheeks. "You... are so important. Fan girl or not. Every person on this planet is special to someone... and you're special to me. More than you could ever know."

I smiled but my laugh choked and turned into a sob and so Mark took me in his arms and just held me. We sat there for so long. We cried together, breathing in air like it was new to us. I slowly stopped crying as I listened to his heart beat as my head had rested against his chest. Listening to it gave me the same feeling of timelessness and calmness that rain did. A gentle pattern of sound letting us know that we were alive.

I lifted my head just for a moment to look at Mark and saw that his eyes were closed and he had drifted off to sleep. I smiled and quietly pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, moving as little as possible, and covered us both up with it. Mark and I stayed like that for a couple of hours, eventually making me fall asleep too. By the time I woke up it was the evening time because the sky was getting dark outside my window and my apartment was delightfully filled with the scent of rain. I sat up and stretched and only then realized that Mark was no longer on the couch.

"You missed it but it rained a little outside. I hope you don't mind, I opened the window a little to listen to it," I heard Mark's voice tell me gently as I saw him come out of the small kitchen area.

"Not at all. It's probably part of the reason I slept so well," I smiled and watched him as he took his seat beside me again. A small gap of silence sat between us for a moment before I started to speak again.

"What are you going to tell your fans?" I asked the obvious question.

Mark sighed lightly, his head hanging down a little but he seemed to already have the answer as he gave himself a small nod of the head for reassurance. "I am not going to tell them anything yet. If you want me too, I will, but some of my fans have a hard time knowing where to draw the line."

"Yeah... I've seen some of those fans. Normally the over-attached fan girl can be quite scary but they're all bark and no bite. However, I think we should wait a bit. Maybe in a couple of months, yes?" I smiled a little and held his hand in mine.

"Yeah," the youtuber looked at me and smiled.

Another pause of silence went by as we both took a moment and to think. There were so many things that could happen but, even so, Mark was the only one that mattered to me. I had been heavily bullied in my youth and so some mindless taunts and rants from jealous fans seemed like nothing to me as long as I had Mark by my side.

"You've helped me through so much," I finally breathed.

"I mean... I certainly wasn't going through something hard all the time but there were a few occasions where I was. Or some days where I just needed a little help to find a reason to smile. Or those fantastic days when I felt like I was on top of the world and then you put me on your shoulders and I was some how even higher. I've been through some okay relationships and I've been through some not-so-okay ones. I've gained some friends and I've lost some friends still while watching your videos. But... I never thought it was your videos that helped me... it was always just... you. You have no idea how happy it makes me for you to say that I have helped you in even the smallest way. I wish I could give back as much help as you have given to me but no matter what - you are never alone. I will always be here to help you when you feel stressed like the world is on your shoulders. No matter where I am, even the smallest bit of me will stay with you forever."

I didn't know why I felt like I needed to say so much to him. But it was as if it were the only thing he needed to hear in that moment and I let my heart spill out and speak for me. It seemed to hit him a bit hard as he tightened his grip on my hand and once more his eyes were red and teary.

We hadn't known each other for very long, at least not in person, but it didn't matter. We sniffled and laughed then both got up and went to the window as it started to rain again. I leaned in and took in a deep breath and smiled as I felt his arms wrap around me from behind and rest his chin on my shoulder. We stood there for a while, watching the rain fall lightly outside.

He then pulled me away from the window and place one hand on my waist and the other in my hand. "I am sorry if I am not that great of a dancer but I figured since it was raining..."

I smiled and shook my head a bit and put my other hand on his shoulder. "It's perfect."

Slowly we began dancing in circles around the apartment living room. The rain sounded so light but not light enough to be unheard. I could just live in this moment forever. And in a way, I did.