Authour's note: Okay sorry for not updating in a while. I am kind of off put by the document I am using. I work in googledocs and the file just got a bit too big because it takes forever to load everything and even stalls out when I am writing because there is just so much. But have no fear. I am going to make another document hopefully so that I can write faster and also better because I can look at what I have easier.

The Tales and Tails of Elric

Chapter 28

Standing

Edward sat on the kitchen table, a nervous shot of anxiety flowing through him as he watched the new stranger work on a hunk of metal she brought with her. It was a new leg, that was obvious as such and she was just adjusting it to fit him better. Apparently he lost a bit of weight and she wanted to make it lighter for him to handle it better. Edward looked down at himself. He was still dressed in the military uniform he was taken in. He guessed he was a bit thin since they hung on him like bags but he didn't think anything of it before. He pulled a bit on the old cloth and felt his stomach as if to see the difference. He couldn't tell without something to compare himself to.

Suddenly he heard a tiny sniffle in the silent room and his head jerked up to find its source. He and the girl were the only ones in the room as the rest took off for their own houses and the few that were left over, Benjamin, Mustang, and Alphonse, were congregated in the living room listening to the radio to give the two of them peace and quiet. Edward saw the blond girl Winry subconsciously wipe her eyes as she continued to tinker with the limb, removing some excess metal. Edward frowned and turned his gaze nervously down to the ground. It was his fault she was crying.

"I-I'm… uhm…," he started to say but gave up halfway through. He didn't really know what to tell her. He didn't know her. Silence flooded back into the room and Edward turned his attention to watching his tail flick over and over again as he listened to the girl work. His ears twitched slightly as he heard the clacking of metal tools work over the new prosthetic. He tried his best to tune them out as his head began to hurt. He didn't want to remember anymore, not right now. Yet he continued to see the scientists over him, picking and prodding him with different tools. He shook his head and snapped the images out of his mind. He was safe here. No one would hurt him. They were just memories, simple memories that could do no harm to him. He didn't need to be afraid. Yet as he told himself this he just found himself feel even worse. The work carried on in silence and Edward found himself growing impatient. He felt alone in the tiny room and he just wanted to feel some company. He wanted to make sure of the people around him.

He found himself gently hopping off of the kitchen table. His torn leg hit the ground with a clatter and he nearly fell off balance if it wasn't for his death grip on the edge of the table. There was a sudden fumbling of tools as the girl heard him and she turned around in her chair to see him trying his best to hobble over to her. Edward nearly made it before he caught sight of the mechanic's puff red eyes. They were tired, full of tears as she looked at him. The shock of his state looked like it still ran through her system and he immediately felt guilty. His tail found only little comfort in wrapping itself around his leg and he frowned, his ears flattening to his head. He felt his voice catch in his throat as the girl stared at him and he found himself having to force at least a coherent sentence out as if to explain himself.

"C-C-Can I-I… watch?" he asked questionably and the mechanic's eyes widened a little bit as if finally understanding what he was wanting, trying to do. She didn't talk, she just nodded her head and pulled up one of the stools next to her. Edward frowned as he watched her turn back to her work. Her shoulders were still shivering as if trying to hold down another set of sobs. He carefully hopped over to the chair, making sure to keep his balance on his right working leg, and nearly fell into it. It was a tall stool and he had to climb up onto it to even sit down. However the instant he did, he felt a tiny bit of his anxiety wash away. He was right next to his mechanic, keeping her company as she was huddled over a bunch of wires and scraps. In return, she was doing the same for him. His golden eyes fell over the hunk of metal that would have been his new leg. Wires were sticking out of it at odd angles but her hands moved over them like clockwork. There was a bit of familiarity to it that Edward found comforting. Now that he was actually beside her, seeing what was being worked on, the dull clinking of the tools didn't seem as threatening as before, rather welcoming actually.

"Edward…," he heard a soft whisper come out from the mechanic. He opened his eyes open slightly as he didn't realised he had closed them, and looked at his friend who he couldn't even remember the name of. He knew she was his friend. He could feel it in his bones. He felt safe with her, but for some reason, like everything else, he couldn't remember any of it. The girl cleared her throat as she picked up some pliers and started to connect the wiring back to the proper places in the leg. He could tell that she was struggling and he felt ashamed. "Do you honestly don't remember?"

"N-no," he mumbled, looking away from her as he wasn't really wanting to admit it.

"So you don't remember me… or even Alphonse?" she asked and Edward just shook his head confirming her guess. "How?"

"I-I don't remember that either…. F-for the most part...I just remember…. pain," he muttered, nothing above a whisper. Winry bit her lip and turned back to her work. They silently tinkered on, the clacking of the tools picking up again and neither of them spoke until they were brave enough to ask a question.

"Edward… what does it feel like not to remember?" Winry asked him finally after a little while. She had sealed up the plating on the prosthetic leg and had set her tools down for good. Edward frowned and eyebrows furrowed as he actually tried to think of what it felt like. He felt afraid, scared like he was some lost cause. He didn't want to figure out what his life entailed just for it to be hell. He didn't know what he would find. There was also an underlying feeling inside him which he couldn't quite pin, was it guilt? Faliure? Condemption? He didn't know but it was nothing that he wished to feel for much longer.

"I-It," he started but took a deep breath as if to try and find the right words. "I-It feels like I lost everything I cared about… I don't know what that is, but just picture of not having it anymore. Like everything is just… empty." Winry shook her head as she stood up from the stool she was sitting on and picked up the heavy prosthetic from the table. Her eyes looked wet but something told him that she would pull through.

"Even as kids, Edward, you knew more of what that felt like than I did," she said softly. He didn't know how it happened, but he felt himself being pulled into a one armed hug before he could even fight it. He felt himself stiffen up at her touch but a warm humm started to pick up in his chest. It vibrated through him and he felt his body slowly relax and he felt reassured as if his nerves were telling him to calm down. He found himself returning the embrace without even knowing it. Edward winced slightly as a flash went through his mind. He saw a young little blond girl crying at a kitchen table and the short golden boy, his brother trying to comfort her. Why was she crying? The image faded softly into the back of his mind as she let go of him for a moment. Edward felt himself long for her back. He didn't allow anyone to get near him in a while unless he asked. For some reason, her embrace made him realise he was safe. He didn't get hurt. Edward wanted it back. Winry's blue eyes looked him over curiously for a second and a smile was struggling to form on her face as if she was conflicted over it.

"You're… you're purring?" she chuckled lightly. Edward felt his face grow red and the humming picked up ten fold. His ears flattened around his head and he pulled back slightly.

"N-no," he retorted dumbly but it just grew louder with his blatant lie. She smiled and Edward found himself burying his face in his shirt.

"At least you're still a dork, Edward," she said. There was a soft pat on his head and Edward looked up to see Winry setting his leg down on the kitchen table. It was completed and ready for attachment. Edward felt suddenly lost as he watched Winry walk out of the door to the living room where everyone else was waiting.

Edward felt himself hold his breath as he watched the door. It felt like the walls were closing in on him until the door opened once more and Winry returned with the Colonel and the tall suit of his brother. His ears perked up as they entered and he struggled to get off of the stool to meet them. Alphonse ran right over to him, not wanting him to fall because of his leg.

"Easy brother," he said calmly. Edward felt himself get lifted and set back in his chair.

"W-what's going on?" he asked him.

"Well, Edward, the leg is done," Winry told him.

"O-okay….," he said unsure of what they were trying to tell him. He just watched her finish it. He should have known. The Colonel breathed heavily and closed his eyes.

"Edward, you are going to have to put it on," he elaborated.

"Oh yeah," he mumbled as he realised what that exactly entailed. No one knew how he was going to react. Edward knew that he was skittish, everyone did, and he was frankly scared of what the connection might be like. He didn't remember what it was like, he didn't know what to expect, but he knew it hurt. It hurt and the only thing he had to compare it to was his very short flash memories of the labs. If it was anything like that he wanted to go legless forever. He didn't want to experience that pain ever again, the poking, the prodding, the loud noises. He didn't think he could do it and the others seemed to know that.

"Edward we will be here with you, just remember that," Alphonse told him.

"I… I don't-"

"Edward you are going to have to put it on if you want to walk again," Winry said. "It will be over as soon as you know it." Edward looked into her blue eyes and then at everyone else. He knew he had to do it but he didn't know if he could. You're safe, Edward, remember that. You're safe. He took in a deep breath. It wouldn't be the same. Nothing would ever be the same to that. He could do it. He could. Edward stiffly nodded his head and everyone smiled with relief. He knew that they wouldn't have done it without his consent which was what they were worried about. On obstacle overcome, more to go.

Alphonse gently picked him up and carried him over to the kitchen table and laid him down on it. He felt his nerves flutter in his stomach and he was having trouble letting go of his brother. Dim memories fluttered through his mind before quickly vanishing into nothing. He was lashed down to a table, he couldn't move, he couldn't fight them.

"Edward it isn't the same," he heard the Colonel's voice say.

"Y-yeah, I know," he stuttered as he tried to calm his mind down.

"Then brother, you need to let go," Alphonse told him. Edward looked down and saw that his arms were still tightly gripping his brother's shoulders. He forced his hands to let go and his brother stood up and took a few steps back. He knew where he was, he was just in the kitchen. He was with friends he was safe. Edward repeated that to himself as he watched Winry line up the leg to his socket. She had a stiff face on and it completely contradicted the one she had on during their short conversation just a few moments prior. He could tell that she was a bit nervous. It will be alright, he told himself as he felt his ears press nervously against his head. Winry gently slid the leg into the port and tightened it in place, getting ready to connect the nerves. Edward laid back on the table not wanting to look.

"Ready?" She asked him. He clenched his eyes shut and quickly nodded his head, preparing for the worse. "Here we go," she huffed and Edward heard a click as the nerves were connected. A searing pain roared into his leg and seemed to ride al the way up the body into his head. His body jolted and his mind started to go fuzzy as electricity seemed to flow through him. His breathing stopped for a split second only before hit started to catch up with him. His muscles tightened suddenly and he felt himself jolting and suddenly convulsing.. The inky blackness of his mind seemed to overcome him and cloud everything he saw. Lightning ignited in the back of his head and flashes of colour swirled around him before they started to form pictures and motions. Noises rang in his ear and he heard voices shout out from the mess of his mind.

"The following seizures needs to last at least a minute for this to work."

"Brother, I thought the same things,"

"It is suffering from extreme anxiety and what seems to be minor paranoia"

"Th-thank you,"

"Give him a bath and the get him back to his cage,"

"Everything we did... It can't be for nothing!"

"Colonel!"

His mind seemed to explode and the inky blackness that once took over it was gone. It was replaced with the whitest of lights as everything rushed back into him. His eyes rolled with the bright flashes of colour, his ears pounded with the loud noises and screaming voices. He felt only immense fear as he watched himself lose control, and with that he lost his consciousness too.

….

The Colonel was disturbed when he saw Edward lie on the kitchen table. All he could remember was his subordinate on the lab tables with the doctors poking around in his mouth. He was helpless, he couldn't do anything, but now when he could he knew that he shouldn't. This was just Edwards automail attachment, nothing more. He knew that he was safe. However, then it started to happen. The instant the nerves were connected, the Colonel watched in horror as Edward laid on the table muscles conversing as he seemed to fight for consciousness. His eyes rolled inside of their sockets and he seemingly couldn't breathe.

"Winry what is going on?" Alphonse yelped, actually able to say something unlike him. Winry was rushing around the table pulling off her tools as quickly as she could.

"He's having a seizure!" She exclaimed as she quickly grabbed several of her oilcloths and set them underneath Edward's shaking head as a makeshift pillow. Before it had been hitting against the hardwood of the sturdy dining table as he wasn't in control of his own actions at all.

"Wh-why! What happened?" Alphonse panicked, not knowing what to do in the overwhelming situation. The Colonel was even more lost than him, frozen stiff in his place as he watched his subordinate helplessly fight his own body.

"It must have sent him into shock. It must have been too much for him," Winry told him. "Alphonse, I need you to help me turn him on his side," she commanded as she kept gentle but steady control of Edward's head to prevent him from hurting himself. The large suit of armour raced over and quickly rolled his brother over to his side. Edward shook and twitched for nearly three minutes,. It was the longest moment Roy could remember. He felt so helpless as he watched Winry and Alphonse try to keep his brother from hurting himself. After time slowly passed, Edward's body seemed to calm down. He slowed down and soon his body just stopped. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and Winry quickly closed them as she heard gentle and heavy breathing settle in Edward's chest. He was asleep. Roy felt himself gasp for air as he didn't realise that he had been holding his breath for so long. He forced himself to run over to the younger Elric's side. The boy had taken a step back from his brother, his own armour clanking and shivering in the nervousness that must have built up inside of him. He was handling it better than he was however as Roy felt like he was going to throw up. What happened to his subordinate?

Winry quickly busied herself around Edward and picked up his wrist to check his pulse. Roy wondered for only a split second how Winry was so calm during the whole endeavor when he remembered that her parents were famous war doctors. She worked with automail and undoubtedly knew basic nursing. She was more prepared than all of them but the look in her eyes told Roy everything. She was just as scared as they were. Winry gently set Edward's arm down and looked back at them.

"Colonel, did this every happen before?" She asked him stiffly. Roy shrugged unknowingly. It was the first time he had seen it happen to his subordinate, or even any of them. However, he didn't know if it was Edward's first time. Anything could have happened in the labs. He frankly didn't know.

"He never mentioned anything about it," the Colonel muttered dumbly, not wanting to leave without saying something. Though Edward never said anything he wasn't the most talkative when remembering the laboratories, especially now that he couldn't remember half of what went on there. Winry frowned as she looked back at Edward for a split moment. Roy felt completely guilty as he watched Edward's chest rise and fall gently in a now stable rhythm in contrast to before. He wished he knew. He wished he didn't have Edward put on his leg. He wasn't ready for it. But then when would he ever be? None of them predicted seizures. The most that Roy expected was for Edward to have another panic attack. Alphonse, Winry, and himself were all prepared for anything, but not that. They were not prepared for that.

"Will he be alright?" Alphonse whispered nervously as he seemed to fear for his own brother's life. Winry nodded her head.

"Yeah," she muttered. "He should be fine, but it might take him a while to wake up and even then to get fully back to normal. We should probably move him somewhere better."

"Benjamin went to make up his room again. He thought that Edward would want to rest after this. He should be done by now. We could put him in there," Roy said. Mentioning Benjamin made him kind of glad that he wasn't there. He was a very thoughtful person but he was easily overwhelmed. If Benjamin was actually in the room when all of this occurred he was afraid that the man might just have had a panic of his own. Luckily the man was just so considerate to have wanted to prep Edward's bed while they connected his automail. Winry nodded her head and she motioned for Alphonse to gently pick him up. The suit of armour looked like he feared he would break his brother. He was so careful like he was handling glass. Edward's limp body was carried upstairs, each one of them marching along behind with dread in their stomachs and worry in their eyes. Benjamin was just walking out of the room with a gentle smile of achievement on his face that he usually wore after he successfully cleaned a room. However the instant the man saw them it faded off his face and was replaced with an utter look of shock.

"What happened?" He exclaimed softly but Roy shot him a look that told him he would explain later. They all marched into the room as if they were having a funeral, slow and deliberate. Edward was set down on the freshly made bed and Roy never thought he looked so small. It was as if none of them wanted to disturb him as they all stood there and watched the teenager for a good few moments. They didn't know what to do but they knew they couldn't do anything to help him. He was on his own.

"All we can do… is wait," Winry sighed as they stared at the limp form of the fullmetal alchemist, cat ears and all.