Realization (in a Drunken Haze)

Epilogue

The first time they run into each other on Monday, Naruto isn't sure what to do. It isn't like he can just walk up to Sasuke and kiss him. (He really wants to). Naruto was still a professor and Sasuke was still a student, even if the other wasn't his student. Are the rules different between professors and students if they aren't actually in your class? Naruto isn't even sure if there is a rule.

Naruto's hand moves to rub the back of his neck as he shifts uncomfortably when Sasuke comes over. It's awkward and Naruto isn't exactly sure what to do at the moment. It doesn't exactly look like Sasuke knows what to do either.

"Hey." It's probably a lame thing to say, but Naruto doesn't exactly care. He wants to tell Sasuke about his morning class but he isn't exactly sure how to approach the subject.

The small smile that pulls up Sasuke's lips seems to give him a little boost of confidence and he returns the smile with a bright one of his own. "Do you want to grab something to eat and head back to my office?"

Sasuke agrees and Naruto finds it much easier to talk without so many people staring at him.

(Even if they were only staring in Naruto's mind).

The first time Sasuke sees him drunks it's three weeks after their first date. Sasuke's convinced by his roommates to go out to the bar, complaining to Naruto about the whole ordeal. Naruto laughs and tells him it's good to go out with his friends. Of course, he hadn't realized at the time that Sasuke would end up at the bar that he and his friends frequented.

Naruto is half way through his fifth beer when he sees Sasuke walk in. He's with his roommates and the girl who Naruto isn't exactly sure if she lives with them or not. (Are girls allowed to room with guys? Naruto didn't think they were). They find a seat in the corner of the bar and Naruto watches as the roommate often found teasing Sasuke goes up to the bar to order some drinks.

The nudge from Ino has his attention drawn back to his friends, shifting in his seat so he can talk to them. The beer in his hand in finished off, but for some reason Naruto doesn't feel as satisfied as the liquid slides down his throat.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Kiba asks, glancing over his shoulder, probably looking to see if it's anyone he might recognize. The only one who might recognize Sasuke is Sakura, but she's facing the other way, talking to Lee about something. Naruto swears he hears talk about fifty laps around the city and a marathon but he can't be sure.

Naruto glances back to find the guy handing drinks over to all three of the people at the table. "It's just someone I know from campus," Naruto explains, signaling for another drink. It probably won't have the normal effect, but he doesn't care right now. He wants one last drink before he heads out. For some reason, he doesn't want Sasuke to see him like this. It's weird. He's never felt that way before.

This answer seems to satisfy Kiba and the group goes back to the topic they had been discussing. It's something about Ino's job and this annoying co-worker, but Naruto isn't really listening. Not anymore anyway. The beer in his hands suddenly feels heavy as he takes a long sip of it, blue eyes closing as it slips down his throat. It's gone only moments later, glass placed back on the table.

"I'm going to head out," Naruto announces, stopping the conversation midway. He can hear the slur to his words, but his friends don't comment. Not anymore.

Ino gives him a questioning look, stepping around Kiba so she's standing next to him. It's a good thing she moves, because Naruto stumbles when he pushes off the bar stool, room spinning for a moment. Apparently he's drunker than he thought.

"Why the hell you want to go?" Kiba asks. He seems to catch the attention of the other two people in their little group. Sakura turns to face them, Lee leaning forward so he can see around her. "It's the first time in three weeks you've come out."

Kiba is right about that. That last two weeks have been spent with Sasuke and the nights he hasn't been with the other, he's stayed in to work on his thesis. It's due in a couple of weeks and he needs to get it done. "I'm just tired." It's a good excuse, but Kiba isn't very convinced. Ino stops him before he can complain.

"I'll drive you home," Ino says, a smile pulling up her. It's a soft smile, one with a sympathetic undertone. Naruto doesn't like the smile, but he doesn't comment, just steps around Ino when he finds his feet and shakes his head.

"I can find a ca-"

"Naruto?"

The voice catches the group off guard, five sets of eyes turning to that voice. Naruto's mouth falls open, but he quickly snaps it closed. He's drunk and he's seeing two of Sasuke and his words are slurring. He doesn't need the other seeing him like this. It's the first time Naruto's felt ashamed for getting so drunk.

"Sasuke?" It's Sakura who speaks first. The rest of the group seems to catch up with what's happening and Naruto's horrified when his friends start to introduce themselves. They weren't supposed to meet Sasuke this early in the relationship. If he even has one after this.

"I was just heading out," he tries to steady his voice as much as possible, but it's still slurring and Ino's hand is securely gripping his elbow. This night is just not going as he had planned.

He tugs his elbow from Ino's grip and stumbles a bit, world spinning. This time it's Sasuke that catches him, arm sliding around this waist. Naruto's cheeks are pink with embarrassment as he glances away from Sasuke, not missing the disgusted look on his face.

"Does this usually happen?" he asks, turning toward Naruto's friends. And Naruto hopes that his friends lie, but the silence speaks louder than words in this situations and Sasuke gets all the answers that he needs. "I'll take him home."

The comment catches Naruto off guard and he turns wide eyed to look at Sasuke. He isn't really showing any emotions of his face right now. Naruto would normally be able to see a subtle show of emotions, but with his mind spinning, he can't exactly make anything out.

"Oh, um, sure," Ino says. She grabs a napkin off the counter and scribbles something down on it. Naruto assumes it's his address, which is probably a good idea because he's pretty sure he isn't capable of pulling it from his mind right now.

Naruto notices the sympathetic looks he's getting from his friends as Sasuke starts to head to the door. The whole ride is awkward silence and Naruto feels like he's going to throw up the whole time. Not from the beer either, but the embarrassment he feels.

When they get to his apartment, Sasuke doesn't come in. He makes sure Naruto is safe inside the door before sending him a disappointed look. "I have no intention of dating a drunken idiot."

The comment hurts and Naruto watches helplessly as the other walks away. It's the first time Naruto actually hears someone when they say he has a problem. When they tell him in so many words that he has to slow down.

It's the first time he wants to slow down. The first time he notices how much he really needs to slow down.

"My parents died when I was 16."

It's been silent between them for what left like hours now. Naruto had tried to avoid Sasuke, but when he went looking for Sakura, Sasuke was the one in Sakura office. Naruto should have expected it, because Sasuke is always in there.

There had been an awkward exchange of hello and Naruto had drifted to the chair. Sasuke had simply gone back to his work.

"What?"

Sasuke asks, looking up with furrowed eyebrows. Naruto gives him a little smile, a nervous one as fingers move to rub the back of his neck. Naruto takes in a deep breath, blue eyes on the ground.

"They died when I was 16 and I didn't take it well."

Sasuke's listening intently now and Naruto appreciates it. He can't find that normal look of pity that he often sees in people's eyes when he tells them about his parents. That's probably one of the reason he stopped talking about it.

"I moved in with Granny right after that and she had a lot of booze in her house. I tried it one day and I liked how I felt. It let me get away for a while, even if it was worse in the morning." He pauses, a sad laugh leaving his lips. "When she found out, she got rid of all her booze, which is a big thing for her. She likes her alcohol. I still found ways around getting alcohol. I had people buy it for me and I got an ID when I was 18. By the time I was 21, I had years of experience with alcohol."

He hasn't talked about this in ages. The last time he talked about his parent's death was when he was 18 and that was only because he was forced to by the counselor at school. When his friends would bring it up, he was quick to shut them down. The same goes for Tsunade.

"How did they pass away?"

Naruto can see a hint of sadness on Sasuke's face, but it seems to be sadness because Naruto went through this at such a young age.

"It was a car accident," Naruto shrugs. He feels a little better now, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Maybe he should have talked about it all those years ago. It might have helped. "I blamed myself for a while, which was fucking stupid. Then I started blaming myself because I was a teenager and didn't spend much time with them. It was a pretty vicious cycle."

He shrugs like it's no big deal, but it is. Sasuke is the first person he's voluntarily talking to about this and he can't help but feel a deeper connection to the male.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Sasuke says and then he's looking down at his papers again, like it is no big deal. Naruto is so happy for that. He doesn't want it to be a big deal.

The silence this time isn't awkward, but calm and nice and appreciated.

He looks up the times of a few AA meetings and he decides on one. The only problem is that he ends up chickening out at the last moment.

They go to a nice restaurant two months into their relationship. They've talked about where they stand – they're exclusive and definitely boyfriends – and they decided to go out to celebrate with a bit of good food and a walk around the park before a movie night.

Naruto goes to order a beer, his usual drink, but before the words can leave his lips, Sasuke's hand is wrapped around his. Naruto looks up to meet dark eyes, encouraging dark eyes. They're filled with pride and love and Naruto nearly drowns in them.

He ends up ordering water.

He gets a headache later that night.

Three month into the relationship and Naruto confesses that he can't go to an AA meeting. He's found a few since the first try and he's made it to the door of a few. Then he sees people walking in and he thinks that isn't him. He isn't an alcoholic.

Then he goes home and gets himself a drink and he realizes that he may not be an alcohol but he sure as hell is pretty close to being one. It's shit really. It makes him feel weak and pathetic that he can't seem to bring himself to go to a meeting.

"I'll go with you," Sasuke says when he's done. Naruto looks at the other is shock, blue eyes blinking slowly, like he can't believe what he just heard. They've been dating three month and they were already at a level people dating for a year weren't even at. It's terrifying and scary to see how fast their relationship is moving, yet how slow it's moving at the same time. He feels like he's known Sasuke for years when it's only been for a few months.

"Really?" Naruto finally voices, eyebrows furrowed.

Sasuke nods and Naruto beams at him.

Naruto make an excuse the first meeting, claiming he has too many papers to grade. Well, it isn't a complete lie. He has a lot of papers to grade, but none he can't do tomorrow.

The only problem is that Sasuke is having none of that. He shows up at Naruto's door, frown pulling down his lips. Naruto doesn't even have time to put on his shoes before Sasuke is walking off without him, stomping down the hallway. He's muttering about canceling plans he had to make time for this meeting and suddenly Naruto feels guilty.

He sulks most of the way there, because he's scared and now he feels bad that Sasuke had to change his plans. He didn't want Sasuke to mess up Sasuke's life for his own mess of a life. Sasuke was already doing so much for him. It didn't have to involve coming to the meeting as well.

The walk to the building isn't too bad. Sasuke slips his hand into Naruto's, giving it a good squeeze when they're outside the building. Naruto freezes on the spot then, blue eyes widen and terrified. He isn't sure he's ready for this yet. His hands are shaking and his heart is pounding now.

Sasuke shoots him a reassuring smile and reaches up with his free hand to brush his thumb back and forth over Naruto's cheek. "I'll be there the whole time."

Naruto takes in a deep breath, closing his blue eyes. He can feel Sasuke's presence next to him and when he opens his eyes back up, he knows he can do it. This was it. He was doing it.

Naruto doesn't talk, but Sasuke holds his hand the whole time and it feels really good.

They have sex for the first time after Naruto's third AA meeting. It was the first time he had said anything. It was hard getting up in front of people to tell his story, but it felt good. It made him feel like he could actually do this.

When they get to Naruto's apartment that night, Sasuke pushes him against the wall and starts to grind up against him. It's hot and fast with fingers and tongue exploring bodies. Sasuke fucks him into the mattress and Naruto sleeps better than he has in ages with Sasuke's arm draped over his chest and breath against his cheek.

"My family is having a dinner next week and they want you to come," Sasuke says.

They're in bed, bodies sweaty and tangled together. It had been a good night. Naruto had thoroughly pleasured Sasuke with his tongue before doing Sasuke nice and slow. It was just peaceful now and Naruto was nearly asleep when Sasuke breaks the news.

"Are you sure about this? I've never been good with the whole parent thing. I sorta lost touch with it all after my parents died," Naruto says. He shifts so he's leaning on his elbow now, looking at Sasuke.

Sasuke turns his head to meet Naruto's blue eyes, smile pulling up his lips. "I think they'll like you. I mean, they're kinda just happy I actually started dating," Sasuke shrugs, turning to look at the ceiling. Naruto smiles, leaning forward to press a kiss to Sasuke's cheek.

"You really think they'll like me?"

"I don't know how they couldn't."

Naruto's nervous when they walk up to Sasuke's house. It's big and scary and Naruto's never been in such a nice neighborhood. Even when he lived with his parents, the neighborhood hadn't been the best. This one has green lawns and sprinklers and fancy trees. It just has Naruto intimated more than he already was.

"Are you sure about this?"

It's cold outside and it has a chill running down Naruto's spin. He steps a bit closer to Sasuke and the other slips his arm around Naruto's waist. They stop in the middle of the pathway when Naruto voices his question.

"I told you already that they'll like you, idiot," Sasuke says, rolling his dark eyes. Naruto can tell he's a bit annoyed. Naruto's been asking the same thing for the last two days. He'd been annoyed if Sasuke was the one pulling this.

Sasuke gives Naruto a little shove toward the door after that, quickly following behind him. Before Naruto can say another word, Sasuke's fingers are wrapped around the door knob and he's pushing the door open.

If Naruto thought he was intimidated by the outside of the house, than he definitely hadn't seen the inside yet. It looked like an older home, well kept up. The ceilings were high and the walls were adorned with pictures and antique items. The Uchiha's obviously had a good amount of money if they were living with famous paintings hanging from every wall. Naruto even recognized a few from some art history classes he took in college.

"Holy shit, you lived here?" Naruto asks in awe.

Sasuke merely nods his head, kicking his shoes off. Naruto follows suite as Sasuke calls into the house, telling his family that he's arrived.

Naruto doesn't exact a woman -a beautiful woman- to come running out, a smile on her lips. She intently has her arms wrapped around Sasuke, holding him close. "Oh, I'm so happy your home," she exclaims. Sasuke hugs her back with a little less enthusiasm, pressing a kiss to her cheek when they pull away.

"And you must be Naruto!"

Naruto's thankful the other woman doesn't hug him. He isn't sure he's ready for that just yet. She's already intimating with her beauty and smile. Actually, the whole family is beautiful. Sasuke's brother and father have graced the small group with their presence now and Naruto's jaw nearly drops. This is the family Sasuke was from? Shit, Naruto lucked out big time.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Sasuke's father says, reaching his hand out to introduce himself. Sasuke's mother and brother do the same and Naruto is thankful when Sasuke slips his hand in Naruto's and gives it a good reassuring squeeze. This whole experience was overwhelming.

When the family has exchanged a few words with Sasuke, they move to the dining room. It's long with china cabinets from ceiling to floor. Naruto's breath catches when he sees everything in the room.

They sit themselves down at the table and Naruto notices the wine is already poured for each seat. Panic sets in, because he's never had to tell someone to take back his drink, to ask for one without alcohol. He goes out with his friends and just orders a glass of water now. That's hard enough, watching his friends drink the alcohol he craves so much, but how do you refuse a drink already at your seat.

Sasuke seems to notice Naruto's discomfort. "Mom, I thought I mentioned Naruto doesn't drink alcohol," Sasuke says, eyeing the liquid on the table. Naruto lets out a deep breath, feeling some of the tension leave his shoulder. He turns to Sasuke and months a 'thank you'. He gets a small smile and a nod in return.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. I'll go and get you another drink. Is there anything you'd like?"

"Water please."

After that, the beginning of the meal is really nice. Mikoto is a really good chef. The food tastes like it's from a high end restaurant. Naruto nearly moans when the first bit hits his tongue, but he manages to stop himself because that would definitely be embarrassing.

They talk to Sasuke a lot, asking him how school is going and how his research is going. He tells them a bit about his current findings and the labs he's teaching. Itachi talks a little bit about his own job.

Then the attention is turned to Naruto.

He actually has a mouth full of food with Fugaku turns to him to ask about his job. Naruto nearly talks with food in his mouth, but a firm kick from Sasuke and he manages to swallow the too big bit before shooting the family a sheepish smile.

"I'm actually a professor," he answers. He says it with all the confidence he has, because he's proud of his job and how he managed to pull his life together, even when he was drinking. It feels good to talk about his line of work.

"What is it you teach?" Mikoto asks, smile on her lips. Naruto sets his fork down, rubbing his sweaty palms over his pants.

"I actually teach literature." Naruto goes on to explain a few of the books they read in class and tells them about his thesis. He explains how he'll have his Ph.D. by the end of the year, which is actually the same time Sasuke will be graduating with his masters.

By the end of the night, Naruto can't help but think the Uchiha family looks impressed by him. After talking about his work, he gains a lot more confidence and continues a few conversations after that.

When they leave, Sasuke presses a kiss to his cheek and tells Naruto how amazing he was in there. It feels good to see the proud smile pulling up Sasuke's lips for Naruto.

Naruto cracks. He is out with his friends at a bar and he orders a drink. The only problem is that he can't seem to stop after the first one. He knows he made a mistake. He can see it on all his friend's faces, but it feels so good. It just can't be helped when he is on his third drink.

The only problem is that he's friends with Sakura and word gets to Sasuke pretty quickly. Naruto's drunk at this point, words slurring and feet shifting in hopes he doesn't fall. He does though and it's right into Sasuke's waiting arms.

"What's wrong, Naruto?" Sasuke sighs, fingers moving to run through blond hair. Naruto blinks at Sasuke with wide eyes, like he's trying to figure out what is happening right now. It takes him a moment to come back to himself and straighten himself out. He finally manages to get on his feet when he registers the question.

"Nothing," he shrugs. "I was actually just heading home to come see you." The words are slurred and Naruto takes a step closer to Sasuke, only to stumble back into his arms.

"Okay, I'll take you home and we can watch a movie or something."

Naruto likes that idea

The next morning Naruto wakes up with a headache, alone in bed. He can't remember much of last night, but he can remember seeing the disappointment in Sasuke's eyes clearly. It has an ache in his chest as he tries to pull himself together for his morning class.

It's easier not to break when Sasuke is around. Sasuke will hold his hand and shoot him reassuring smiles when he can tell Naruto is struggling with the fact his friends are drinking and he isn't. The only problem is Sasuke can't come every time he hangs out with his friends – he has a life too – and Naruto ends up falling off the wage two more times. It's quick and simpe and after that his friends decide they should find better places to hang out.

Of course, they don't mention that it's for Naruto's sake, but the next time they hang out at Ino's house and no alcohol is present. Naruto couldn't be more thankful for his friends doing this for him.

Naruto is two month sober when Sasuke graduate in the spring. He has a big party at his house and Naruto has to try extremely hard not to just grab the alcohol sitting around for everyone to drink. Sasuke can't stay with him the whole time and every time he leaves, Naruto always finds himself drifting towards the alcohol.

Itachi catches him one time, eyebrow raised in curiosity. "I thought you didn't drink?" he asks, placing his empty champagne glass on the counter for someone to pick up – the party is catered.

"I don't," Naruto replies, but his eyes are on the alcohol and he knows he doesn't sound convincing. He's having a serious internal struggle over what to do now. It's hard.

Itachi seems to notice and a hand presses against his shoulder, finally pulling his gaze away from the alcohol. "I want to show you something," Itachi says. He takes Naruto up to Sasuke's old room, letting him explore for a bit.

Naruto is thankful for the distraction. He knows Itachi probably realized he has a bit of a problem and he couldn't be happier that Itachi didn't find a need to point it out.

When Naruto gets his Ph.D., he asks Sasuke to move with him. Sasuke says yes, a smile on his lips as they kiss and kiss. It has butterflies fluttering in Naruto's stomach.

The next week Sasuke's stuff is in Naruto's – their apartment. It's a bit small, but they manage to find room for everything. They agree they need to find a bigger place in the future, but this is fine for now.

He's been sober for five months when it happens again. Sasuke is off at some conference, but Naruto knows he wouldn't have gone if he knew that it was the anniversary of Naruto's parent's death.

It's easy to suck down a lot of alcohol when he's sitting in front of the tomb, crying even after all these years. He actually thinks it's stupid he still gets this upset. He keeps telling himself that he's moved on, that this is not going to affect him anymore, but then the anniversary hits and he's spiraling down.

Sasuke comes home two days later to scattered bottles of beer and hard liquor around the house and Naruto curled up in bed, crying. He hasn't been to work since Sasuke left.

He doesn't say anything as he walks into the room, placing his bag by the closet and tugging his jacket off so he can hang it up. Naruto doesn't move as Sasuke sits himself on the edge of the bed, fingers running through blond hair.

"Naruto, it's going to be okay," he whispers. Naruto moves then, arms wrapping around Sasuke's waist and head buried in his chest. He cries with finger running through his hair. He cries with Sasuke holding him close.

It's the first time he's ever felt like this is truly the last time he's going to cry over his parents.

Naruto is two years sober when he asks Sasuke to marry him. Sasuke's just graduated with his Ph.D. and will be starting work at the same university Naruto's working. It's the perfect night, the same one his parent's died on actually. Naruto thinks it's the right moment, because the day Sasuke found him drunk and crying over his parents was a turning point.

It brought them closer in a way Naruto didn't know was possible. It made Naruto realize that his parents wouldn't want this for him. It's a lot easier to function was he isn't drunk or hangover all the time. He hadn't even realized how much he was drinking before until his mind was completely clear of alcohol for over a year.

It's easier to read, write and teach. It's easier on every part of his life. He remembers everything that happens to him. It feels good to be moving forward with his life. It feels good to be someone he knows Sasuke is proud of. Someone he knows his parents are proud of.

Naruto picks Sasuke up from his first day in the lab as a professor and gets down on one knee right outside. There are people around and Sakura is following Sasuke out, but he doesn't care. This is where they met and Naruto just wants to marry Sasuke already. It just feels right for this man to be in his life forever. He's supported him through so much and Naruto couldn't be more thankful for Sasuke and his – surprising – patients.

Naruto cries when Sasuke says yes. It's stupid really. They've already talked about marriage a little and Naruto knew Sasuke was going to say yes. He knew in his heart, but his brain had gotten the better of him and the butterflies had nearly choked him when he got down on one knee.

Sasuke says yes and Naruto knows that everything is going to be okay.

Sasuke says yes and Naruto can't contain his happiness.

It's the first time he's cried out of joy rather than sadness.

THE END.