Jaune Pees on Weiss

RWBY

Written from the perspective of Weiss Schnee

Summary: Jaune takes a piss on our lovable heiress.

"Weiss! I can't hold it in anymore!"

A few days ago, Yang taught me what a dragon is and how every boy has one. Apparently, seeing a dragon can make a girl very happy. So, being ever curious, I asked Jaune to show me his. Who doesn't want happiness after all? Pulling him aside to an empty classroom, I had him drop his pants. The examination seemed to be going well, except, he was on his way to the little boy's room. And… well… his dragon is spewing its flames on me.

Liquid yellow flames.

"My eyes! They burn!" All my life I have wondered what boy's had underneath their pants but now I know first hand. Mere inches from my face was Jaune's dragon, his pants down, and pee soaking my hair. It got into my eyes. It got up my nose. The smell was horrific.

There was a stench of a public restroom.

My mouth was open from shock. It was a poor move as the jet stream of urine breached my lips, battered my teeth and assaults my tongue. Bitter.

"W-Weiss! I can't control it!"

"Wh-what?" I gargled out.

Then his dragon started slapping me silly.

"I've lost control!"

Did I mention Jaune's dragon is as long as a snake? Because it's damn long and it's flopping around like an uncontrollable hose. The dragon's head kept slamming into my cheeks as it spewed urine into my hair. I used both hands to grab it, strangling it into submission only to hear Jaune yelp before whimpering like a little girl. As I held his dragon down, the stream finally subsiding, a single thought flashed through my head:

… what am I doing with my life?

"J-Jaune! Are you okay?"

Jaune had tears in his eyes. "I-I'm fine... b-but... oh... oh no... is he... is he...?"

I looked at the limp dragon my head, the skin felt raw and its head was blue.

"It's dead, Jaune," I stated as I wiped sweat and urine from my brow.

"No!"

The door opened.

It was Ruby and Yang.

My hands were still on Jaune's dragon. I was wet. A puddle of urine around me. I looked at them. They looked at me. Jaune was crying and begging me to let go. I tightened my grip.

Okay. What can I say to salvage my reputation?

"Salutations!"

A moment of silence. Yang bursts out laughing. Ruby points an accusing finger at me.

"Yang! I think Weiss killed Jaune's dragon!"

Author's Notes: Congratulations on reading this… but seriously, WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?