I first learned of the song 'Human' by Christina Perri thanks to ShellSueD who commented that there was a Stephanie, Ranger, or Stephanie/Ranger story in the lyrics somewhere. After a solid week of the song popping up every time I turned around, this is the story I came up with for it. Everything familiar belongs to Janet. The mistakes are mine.

"Stop it, Joe," I said quietly, trying to offset the frustration in his voice.

"Stop what?" Morelli asked.

"Screwing with my head. I agreed to go to that stupid dinner with you ..."

"It was a family dinner, Cupcake."

"I know, but the fact that both our families believe that they'll all be family one day is bad enough. Don't you go buying into the act, too."

"Jesus Christ, Stephanie. We can have exactly what they want us to if you'd just compromise a little."

I snorted at that. "Compromise a lot on everything, you mean?"

"You're doing it again," Joe pointed out.

"Standing up for myself?"

"Being impossible."

"I. Am. Not. I can only take so much, Joe. And pretending everything is hunky-dory with us is exhausting. I got through dinner - just like I said I would - but don't let yourself get sucked into the fantasy we've created."

"I know you, and you wouldn't have spent time with my family - plus yours - unless you wanted to, Cupcake. You've never had trouble turning any of us down in the past."

"I showed up because I do care about you, Joe. And I don't want your family jumping on you anymore than I want mine cornering me if they found out that we're no longer seeing each other. Not in the way they think, anyway. Stop trying to use my feelings against me."

"Now who's sending mixed messages? You just said you care about me ..."

"I do, but I'm not willing to turn into my mother for you."

Joe rolled his eyes. Not surprising, but knowing that he would do exactly that didn't make me any less angry.

"I'm not making you, your family, my family, or the entire fucking Burg, my life anymore, Joe. I barely got through the last three hours. I can't fake being happy indefinitely. And truth is, I don't want to. I'm done. I realized as the dessert dishes were being cleared, that tonight's dinner was actually a goodbye one."

"Cupcake ..."

"Don't Cupcake me, Joe. I'm not saying this just to be a bitch. I can't smile one second longer through wedding plans and talk of where our kids will go to college. We both know it isn't happening, and it's wrong to keep pretending it will, letting ourselves and our families believe the lie. You'd better get ready to field the phone calls, because I'm telling the truth next time my mom brings you and I up."

"Just give it a little longer, Steph. We can work if you'd let us."

"You're wrong, Joe. To make us 'work', I'd have to do all the work while you're sitting back, getting everything you've ever wanted. What about me? What would I get? A husband who thinks I'm crazy half the time? A house that doesn't belong to me? Kids I'm not ready for? An identity I never wanted?"

Just the thought of Joe and I in five years had me sweating and my stomach feeling like it wants to empty itself.

"What do you want, Stephanie? The psycho?"

I narrowed my eyes in warning. "Don't drag Ranger into this."

Now Morelli is the one who snorted. "You'd defend him with your dying breath, wouldn't you?"

Yes I would, but that hasn't been Joe's business for a while now.

"Since you asked so nicely," I said to Joe, not bothering to jump at the bait, "what I want is my own life."

"You'd have that with me."

"No, I'd have the life you've already mapped out. I'd just be cast in the role of Mrs. Morelli. You think you want me, Joe, but really anyone will do. You're ready to settle down and start a family and I happen to be the woman you were seeing when you decided that, so I'm the logical choice."

"You're the only woman I've ever loved, Steph. And the only one I'd consider marrying."

"Maybe that's the problem," I said honestly. "You love me, so want to cram me into a life I don't fit into. You can't do that without breaking something, Joe."

Like my heart, spirit, and probably my will to live. Both Valerie and Mary Lou have wanted a husband and a bunch of kids since they were little girls, and even they have trouble getting through the day sometimes. What would happen to a woman like me, who only wants a hamster and the freedom to do whatever I want without asking permission to do it?

Joe was quiet and I started feeling guilty. Not guilty enough to give in, but I don't like hurting anyone, never mind someone I love. It was unavoidable in this case, though. I'd rather leave on my own now, than tough it out only to want out in a few years with a kid or two and a legal battle because of them looming over me."

"I'm sorry, Joe. I wish for all our sakes that we could get married, have 2.5 kids, and live here until we die, staring at your Aunt Rose's curtains and being happy about it, but I just ... can't. If you love me like you say you do, you'd stop once I turned into that woman."

That got a reaction out of Morelli. Maybe he really does love me - Stephanie Plum - not just 'the future Mrs. Joseph Morelli'. I'm never going to be her and I think Joe just got that.

"So, this is it?" Joe asked. "With our history, all our fights and good times, we ... what? Shake hands, say goodbye, and call it a night?"

"No. That's why we have to completely end any semblance of the romantic side of our relationship, so we don't lose the friendship part by lying about it until we hate each other for stooping so low."

"I could never hate you, Cupcake."

"You would eventually if I was forced to be someone I'm not. I'd resent you, and you'd grow to dislike me because of it. I may be a mess, but I actually like the mess I've become. It probably doesn't make any sense to you, but even though I screw up more than I should, the fact that I'm willing to try - to do things I'm scared of - gets me out of bed every morning."

"So you're not cutting me out of your life?"

"Not unless you want me to. You have to admit, Joe, you'd have fewer stomach issues if we're just friends."

"That's where you're wrong, Stephanie. I will always worry about you, regardless of your standing with 'the boys'."

"You're a pig, Morelli."

"I know. But I was telling you the truth."

"So I'll see you and Bob around, right?"

"Are you sure about this?" He asked me. "We can just forget this entire conversation took place."

"You wouldn't be a very good cop if you can block out facts like that," I said, picking up my shoulder bag as I walked towards the door.

"Cupcake, where are you going? I picked you up, remember? You don't have your car here."

"I was going to walk home. It'll give me a chance to think."

Joe's whiskey-colored eyes closed briefly before locking onto me again.

"Any chance you'll rethink you and me?"

"I'm sorry, Joe, but ... no. We'll still see each other, just not in the bedroom, okay?"

"No, but I'm at a loss as to what I can say to change that."

"Bye, Joe," I told him, and walked out.

I took two steps before I came to an abrupt halt on Morelli's front stairs. A black Porsche Turbo was parked in front of Morelli's SUV. I know for sure that hadn't been there before. For a second, I thought maybe Ranger figured out I was stranded and left me a way of getting home. But Ranger almost never lets people drive his 911, and he has no reason to believe I'm stranded.

I stopped thinking up possible scenarios for why the car's here, when the passenger door was popped open from the inside. I caught a glimpse through the open door of a muscled, mocha arm moving back to its place on the steering wheel. I didn't feel at all like Cinderella, and the Turbo sure as hell isn't a coach, but I'll take it. I crossed Morelli's tiny yard and slid in next to Ranger.

"What brings you to the Burg?" I asked Ranger, trying one more time to fake being happy so Ranger wouldn't know anything's wrong.

"Your grandmother called me, Babe."

My eyes went wide. I know Grandma can get information on anyone, but I couldn't figure out who she could have bribed to get Ranger's cell number.

"She called the control room, Steph, and had Gene patch her through to me."

"Why? Did something happen to her ... or my parents ...?"

"No. Your family is fine, Steph. Edna seems to think the problem is with you."

"I just had dinner with Grandma ..."

"Yes, you did. And Grandma Mazur said you were acting 'fishy', and wanted me to find out why."

I should know by now that I can't pull anything over on Grandma. She can sense trouble brewing faster than I can. And we're enough alike for Grandma Mazur to see something's been off with me for months now. I hadn't expected her to call Ranger, though.

"You planning on joining this conversation?" Ranger asked.

"Everything's fine," I told him.

And they sort of are, so Ranger can't call me out for lying.

"Try again," he said.

Damn. I guess Ranger can detect omissions along with outright lies.

I blew out a breath, and then did it one more time before I started talking.

"Morelli and I are done."

"Then why were you and your family having dinner at Morelli's mother's house tonight?" Ranger asked me.

"How did you know? Never mind. My bag is bugged again, isn't it?"

"Always."

"Okay, so Joe and I took the chickenshit way out, and were putting in an appearance so our families will leave us alone."

"Why not just tell them the truth if you're over?"

"Easy for someone not raised in the Burg to say. If I told my mom that Joe and I broke up, I'd have to suffer through a round of Q&A about what I did to drive another man away. Then I'll be forced to come up with a bunch of excuses to avoid my parents' house so I don't get ambushed with a steady stream of bachelors so desperate to get married, they'd sit through a meal with Helen Plum. And Joe would be going through the same thing. Only difference being ... you can switch out the what he did wrong part for a ton of 'I told you sos' and comments about how stupid he was for being interested in someone like me."

"Morelli would be lucky to have 'someone like you', Babe. Any man would."

I blinked back the moisture Ranger's words caused. Maybe someday soon I'll believe them. Right now, I'm still feeling shitty for hurting Joe and sorry about my grandmother taking up Ranger's time just so he could play therapist.

"I think Joe's lucky," I told Ranger, "getting out when he did."

"Was this break Morelli's idea? Or yours?"

"Mine, but Joe is starting to come around to my way of thinking."

"What now?"

"Now ... Joe and I stay friends, I hope, but that's it. It won't be long before everyone else knows. And you know what? I'm actually relieved about that. Tonight I felt like I was on the verge of bleeding out."

"That's not funny, Babe."

"I don't mean literally, but breathing was becoming more and more difficult."

"And you're back to breathing easily?"

"Yup. Now I only have to worry about myself ... not about what everyone else is thinking."

"You sound sure of that," Ranger said, sliding his arm along the back of my seat.

"I am," I told him, smiling because I believe I just got my life back.

My life then got complicated when Ranger leaned in and gently kissed my mouth. No tongue, but the steady pressure of Ranger's lips let me know that tongue was possible.

"What the heck was that for?" I asked Ranger, when he pulled back.

"The first reason I kissed you is because I wanted to. The second, is due to you looking beautiful with the spark back in your eyes."

"There's a third reason?" I asked, when it looked like Ranger was going to continue his list.

"Yes. The third one is that I felt your barriers relax," Ranger said, like that somehow made sense.

Shit. It did, as I remembered Ranger saying that he'd move in if he felt my barriers against him relax. Did they? I cut my eyes to Ranger and studied him. Damn it, they did relax! And Ranger clearly knew it. This can't happen, I told myself. I just walked out on a man because I wanted to be free of a relationship. I can't just jump into something new.

"Babe, look at me."

I couldn't ignore a direct order from Ranger, but I soon realized what a mistake looking at him was. Ranger's dark brown eyes were on me, his full, delicious lips were kicked up at the corners, and he somehow got his hand on my thigh without my knowing. Ranger's good. Give a soldier a mission and he'll systematically use every resource at his disposal to accomplish it.

"I warned you long ago that I always get what I want. Sometimes it may take longer than I'd like, but I'm a patient man."

"What are you saying, Ranger?"

If I hadn't planned on officially breaking up with Joe today, I sure as hell didn't think Ranger would be implying ... what the hell is he implying?

"Dinner on seven, Babe. We'll start there."

"Start what?"

"Whatever you feel like calling us."

"Screwed up? Not normal? Horrible at spitting out what we want to say?"

"All those descriptions apply, but how about we just stick to one word?"

"Which would be ... what?"

"Together."

"What about Joe?" I asked.

"What about him? Does he get to decide who you see now and when?"

"No ... but ..."

"Then we have plans for tomorrow night. I'll drop you off at your apartment tonight, but I expect you at mine for six o'clock. I will come knocking if you're late, Babe, just so you know. I may have patience, but it has limits."

Do I really want the opposite with Ranger of what I just offered Joe? Complicating a great friendship with Ranger by adding romance into it, instead of keeping the friendship by nixing the romance like I just did with Joe? My wide-eyed stare was drawn to Ranger again, to those warm eyes and large hand that's currently inching higher up the inside of my leg. Yeah, I want all of that ... and anything else I can get from Ranger.

"I'll be at your door by five-fifty eight," I promised Ranger.

"It's a date," Ranger said, giving me another brief kiss and a teasing leg squeeze, before releasing me to start his car.

I was suddenly nervous about what's ahead for us, but I did just tell Joe I like myself for doing things that are scary to me. And a serious relationship with Ranger is definitely a terrifying prospect. But Ranger has been there for me through just about everything, and I believe he'll continue to stick with me as we figure out how to keep ourselves - and each other - happy.

As Ranger pulled away from the curb, I glanced back at Morelli's house. Joe was standing there behind his screen door, and I could feel his gaze boring a hole through the tinted glass enclosing Ranger and I. I still feel a little bad that I couldn't be what Joe needed me to be, but I will no longer apologize for it. Joe was right about one thing, he and I do have a past. Now, thanks to me, Joe and I both have futures. Different futures than we both thought we'd have, but separate ones that will each be right for us.