Effie's hand grew slack in his, her eyes closed and a lot of machines started beeping.

He was violently pushed aside as more doctors and nurses rushed in, no one bothering to stop and explain what was happening. The baby was gone too, nowhere to be seen, and the world started closing around him, the edge of his vision going black. He wondered if they had a bar in the hospital. He wondered if someone would care if he simply grabbed a syringe of morphling and pushed the content in his veins. He was losing them. He had already lost them.

The doctor said something about bleeding that wouldn't stop and the word "surgery" was shouted by another, then they put Effie on a gurney and they rolled her away. He wanted to stop them. He wanted to protect her. He couldn't move. He was helpless. He was useless.

He had failed his family. Again.

"Sir. Sir." He shrugged the hand on his arm away defensively, ready to strike the intruder. The nurse flinched but, to her credit, she still kept her forced smile firmly in place. She had brown hair trimmed with red strands and brown eyes, there was a purple tattoo of a flower on her neck. "Your wife needs surgery, Doctor Falarus will talk to you as soon as he knows more." He stared at her, not understanding a word of what she was saying. She looked kind and sympathetic when she placed her hand on his arm again. "I assure you our staff will do their best. Now… Would you like to meet your son?"

His son.

"Is he dead?" How morbid was it that the first question popping in his head was that one? He had heard him cry but then they had taken him away before he could even get a proper look.

"No! No, no, no." the nurse was quick to reassure him. "Come with me." He let her guide him through a few corridors until they arrived in a room with big rectangular boxes and a lot of machinery. He had to wash his hands twice before going in. There were two couples sitting next to two different boxes, he realized there were babies inside. The nurse brought him to another one, identical, except that baby was alone and he knew at first glance that he was his. There was a pull in his guts. "He was a bit early and he's a bit smaller than he should be." the woman explained. "But I think we have a little fighter. He's breathing fine on his own and the brain waves are normal which is the important thing. If we're lucky, he won't have to stay in the incubator for too long."

Haymitch couldn't stop staring at the tiny arms and tiny legs, the even tinier fingers and the blue – or were they grey? – eyes he could glimpse through the half-open eyelids. There were some tubes and band-aids on his arms.

"I know it looks very scary but I promise the tubes are only there to help." the nurse explained, bringing a chair next to the incubator. Haymitch was only too happy to sink on it, never taking his eyes off the baby. "We will take them out in a few days, maybe even tomorrow. It's all preventive. Now, look, this is very, very scary for your son too so you need to let him know you're here. Talk to him, he will recognize your voice. You can't hold him yet but do you see the holes on the side of the box…" She grabbed his wrist and brought his hand to one of the round holes – there were six of them. "You can touch him. It's very important that you do."

She explained something about contact deprivation in premature babies and how it could lead to depression but he didn't completely listen. His hand was inside the incubator and yet he couldn't quite bring himself to touch the baby.

"I'm going to hurt him." He was so small and Haymitch always ended up hurting everyone around him.

"No, you won't." the nurse smiled, giving up on her speech. "He needs it as much as you do."

He brushed a finger against a tiny nail tentatively and the baby answered by moving his arm. Encouraged, Haymitch traced the small hand, counting the fingers because that was the stupid thing every new father did. The eyes were open now and they looked more grey than blue, he was a bit disappointed by that. He loved Effie's eyes.

"See? Now he knows Daddy didn't just leave him." the nursed cooed at the incubator before flashing a quick smile at Haymitch. "I need a name for the file."

"Helios." he answer mechanically. "Helios Abernathy. About Effie… Can you…"

"I will come to tell you as soon as I know more." she promised but the smile was strained that time.

She left him alone with the baby in a box he was still terrified to hurt.

"Hey, devil's spawn." he whispered. The other couples were talking to their babies too, in hushed voices, so he supposed it was the thing to do. His son looked so vulnerable, so… fragile. The surge of protectiveness came out of nowhere but washed over him like a tidal wave. Nobody would ever hurt that child. Ever.

The baby opened and closed his mouth slowly, squirming a little when Haymitch's finger wandered to his chest. Perhaps he was ticklish. Effie was very ticklish so he must have taken that after her… The thought of Effie made his heart clench in fear. He couldn't even imagine what their son must be feeling, so small, torn from her womb to be placed in a plastic box…

"You must be wondering where Mommy is…" The baby's skin was all soft and strangely warm, he could get used to that. "She's coming soon. Now, I have to warn you her voice is very annoying and she's probably going to make a lot of stupid noises she thinks babies like…" He placed his finger against the baby palm and the tiny fingers closed on it. It was a reflex probably but it helped Haymitch relax. "Neither of you are going anywhere. You and I, we have a deal, remember? You hang on. And Mommy… I will kick your mommy's ass if she tries to die on us." He paused for a second and then winced. "Of course, she will kick my ass if she learns I said that in front of you." He closed his eyes for a second and leaned his forehead against the side of the box. "What I wouldn't give for a glass of whiskey… You're too young for whiskey, that's a shame. I bet you would like it better than milk. I hate milk."

He rambled on and on, letting his mouth run freely only to fill up the silence. At some point, the baby fell asleep but Haymitch kept his hand in the incubator and he kept talking. He was too afraid of doing it wrong and the nurse had said his son should know he was right there.

"Haymitch." the low whisper put an end to his speech about the merits of vodka over Ripper's best batch – which, admittedly, was probably for the best. He was too tired to do much more than glance at Plutarch.

"Effie?" was his first question.

"Still in surgery from what I understand." the Gamemaker said, taking another chair to sit next to him. "I sent Haltman in there. I'm sure everything will be fine." It was a flat lie but Haymitch let it slide. "Congratulation."

Plutarch moved as if he wanted to reach inside the incubator to touch the baby.

"Don't." Haymitch growled, tensed all of a sudden.

His friend seemed taken aback but then sat back on his chair, his two hands raised in front of him. "Alright."

Neither of them commented the incident further. Haymitch petted the baby's chest carefully while Plutarch told him what was happening outside those walls. The vacuum of power left by Coin wasn't good but it was always better than the tyrant she was becoming, they were going to organize elections – that would take a few weeks, according to the Gamemaker but they couldn't do much more. As for Katniss…

"She tried to kill herself." Plutarch told him.

"Can I catch a breath?" was Haymitch's tired answer.

"I made sure there was nothing left in her room with which she can hurt herself." the Gamemaker said. "We need to get her off morphling. There's going to be a trial eventually but I don't see that happening before proper elections so we have time."

"Not cold turkey." Haymitch decided, remembering his own withdrawal in Thirteen. "Ease her into it. It will buy us time to prepare a defense or… Whatever."

He was so exhausted…

"You should get some sleep." Plutarch said, as if he was reading his mind. "I could…"

Haltman's stern outline outside of the room made him jump to his feet, suddenly wide awake. "Stay with the kid." he ordered his friend before throwing a warning glare. "But don't touch." He hurried out and almost stumbled into the doctor. "Is she alive?"

The woman seemed surprised by his sudden appearance but recovered quickly enough. "Yes. She lost a lot of blood but that was to be expected given the difficulties during the pregnancy and her general…" His eyes must have glassed over because she simply concluded with a : "She will be fine in time. I wanted to examine the child."

He moved aside to let her enter the room. Once she was gone, he slid against the wall all the way to the floor and buried his face into his hands, wishing Finnick was there once more to offer comfort. He gave himself five minutes of complete panicking then he stood up and walked back in time to watch Haltman finish her examination. She declared herself satisfied with the baby's health and concurred that he wouldn't need the incubator for long.

The problem came once she was gone.

Haymitch was torn between his instinct to keep the baby close at all cost and his need to check on Effie.

"I will stay here." Plutarch offered, obviously picking up on his dilemma. "And I won't touch." The last part was added with unashamed amusement.

"You need to talk to him." Haymitch grumbled. "But don't say stupid things."

"Like explaining the difference between whiskey and scotch?" the Gamemaker laughed.

Haymitch chose to ignore that.

They wouldn't let him sit with Effie – a frowning nurse muttered something about rebel scum and visiting hours – Haymitch threatened to have the whole staff arrested if they tried to stop him. It was mean but effective. He waited for hours, dozing in his chair. At some point, he couldn't stand the waiting anymore and he walked back to his son. Plutarch was asleep next to the incubator but, at least, Helios wasn't alone.

"Mommy is fine." Haymitch told the baby who waved his little feet in response. His son was a masterpiece. He was beautiful. And perfect. And he was utterly terrifying his father. "She will come soon."

That was a false promise as he found out soon enough. When Effie finally woke up, she was so dosed up with various drugs, she was completely out of it. They moved her out of intensive care and to a private room before she was even completely lucid. Johanna, Annie and Peeta showed up at some point – Haymitch had lost all sense of time, he didn't know how many hours or days had passed since the labor had started – with fresh clothes and a toilet bag for him for which he was glad. Plutarch, who had stayed in the hospital with him switching place from Effie's side to the boy's when Haymitch wanted to go see the other member of his family, was at last able to go back to the Presidential Mansion to get some sleep. Annie and Peeta's visit was short but Johanna took Plutarch's place with a lot of grumbling. Haymitch was sure she didn't obey his rule not to touch as soon as his back was turned but there was nothing he could do about it.

Johanna amused herself by repeating to the baby all the curses she knew, glaring back at the other couples present in the big room. She preferred sitting at Effie's side, she had a lot of fun with the former escort's drugged ramblings.

He was busy learning from the nurse how to change his son's nappy inside the incubator – or, as the nurse joked good naturally, at all – when Johanna showed up.

"The bitch is awake and raging." she told him. "Better get your ass over there before she kills someone."

He ran to Effie's room, ignoring the warnings and rebukes from passing members of staff about no running in the hospital. She was indeed raging at a squirming young nurse who looked ready to burst into tears – Effie always had a sharp tongue and she always knew how to use it.

"Haymitch!" she exclaimed as soon as she saw him. She was trying to sit up in the bed and the nurse was attempting to get her to remain lying down. "Haymitch, where is my baby? They stole my baby! They stole my baby!" She wrapped her hands around his wrist when he pushed on her shoulder gently so she wouldn't hurt herself. "Haymitch, my baby…"

"He's alright." he promised. "They had to put him in one of those boxes…"

Wrong thing to say.

"My baby!" she screamed, thrashing against his hands. She was sobbing now, her eyes all wide and terrified. "They stole him! They stole…"

"Shut up!" he snapped. He regretted it at once but he hadn't slept in… he didn't know how long. And, at least, it was effective. She closed her mouth, probably appalled by the way he was talking to her. "Nobody stole the baby. He's perfectly fine only two corridors away."

She looked at him with so much despair it broke his heart. "I can't feel him anymore."

"That's because you gave birth." he frowned. "Remember that? 'Cause I can promise you it will feature in my nightmares." All the blood and her screaming…

Her eyes roamed his face, obviously trying to figure it out. The drug must have still been clouding her brain. "I'm all empty."

"Yeah." he nodded. "Free at last."

His joke fell flat. More tears rolled down her cheeks, he brushed them away with his thumb.

"I want my baby." she begged. "Please."

"You can't stand up yet." the nurse cut in. "The wheelchair wouldn't be a good idea either for now. Maybe tomorrow."

Effie argued some more but then she stopped responding. Haymitch didn't dare leave her side. She moped for hours, so obviously distressed it made him yearn for a drink to simply look at her. She calmed down slightly when he nudged her to the side of the bed to wrap his arms around her but even that didn't improve her mood. He told her about the baby, how he would close his tiny hand around his finger when he touched his palm, how he blinked and looked straight at him when he was talking about her, how beautiful he was… That didn't help. She only buried her face in his shoulder and started to cry, pleading with him to bring her the baby.

After a few hours, the drugs finally left her system and she seemed to get more rational. He managed to get about thirty minutes of sleep but once the doctor showed up for the morning visit, she was adamant about wanting to see her son.

Haymitch rolled her there on the wheelchair himself, impatient and more excited about that meeting than he cared to admit. Johanna greeted them with a sneer, unhappy at having been left to babysit for so long. He ignored her, watching Effie's face when she first laid eyes on their son. Relief and love washed away the despair and a small smile tugged at her lips.

"Hello, sweetie." she whispered when she touched him for the first time. She placed her finger just like Haymitch had told her and she almost started to cry when he wrapped his tiny fingers around it.

"Do you want to hold him?" Haymitch's favorite nurse – the purple tattooed one – asked her. She glanced up at Haymitch. "I was going to surprise you with that today but… I think Mommy needs it more than Daddy, right?"

He nodded his consent, only too happy to watch as the baby was carefully extracted from the incubator and placed in Effie's arms. She made it look very natural as she gathered the baby against her chest. Haymitch crouched next to the wheelchair, staring at the small miracle in her arms while the nurse ushered Johanna away – there was a reason she was his favorite.

"He's perfect." Effie breathed out.

"Told you." He didn't bother to hide the pride in his voice.

"Mommy loves you so, so very much." she cooed to Helios. Their son seemed happier than he had ever seen him. Obviously he had needed his mother just as much as she had needed him. She talked and talked to the baby, promising a thousand times to never leave him again. He was content to watch them, sitting on the floor next to the wheelchair, his chin propped on the armrest. She noticed his staring and huffed. "What? If you want to make fun of me, I warn you I don't care in the slightest."

I love you.

The words wouldn't come out of his mouth and yet that was all he could think about. He loved her. He loved them.

"Nothing." he mumbled but she wasn't completely fooled, he could tell.

She flashed him a beaming smile and leaned toward him. He met her halfway. The kiss was probably longer than it should have been given where they were but he couldn't care less.

"You need to shave." she cringed. "And take a shower."

He patted his son's tiny hand to get the baby's attention. "See? That's what I meant when I said she was annoying."

Helios remained in the incubator for two more days before he was finally allowed his own see-through crib in Effie's room – not that he spent much time in it, Effie was generally carrying him or letting him sleep on her chest all day long. When Plutarch swung by with a bag full of new baby clothes, she welcomed him like he was a hero which vexed Haymitch greatly since he had been the one going on practically no sleep at all to make sure their family was safe. He shouldn't have expected her to be grateful.

"I need you to get out of this hospital." Effie told him one day, out of the blue, while she was feeding Helios. Breastfeeding, as everything with them, was more complicated than it should have been. Her body, Haltman had explained, hadn't actually been completely equipped to deal with a child to begin with, the fertility treatment had helped only that much. She didn't have enough milk to feed him as often as he required and even those times were painful to her. Helios didn't always accept her breast either which made her feel lacking as a mother no matter how many times Haymitch repeated she was doing great. If they sometimes had to feed him from a bottle, then so be it, he didn't see where the big deal was.

"It's good to feel loved." he grumbled, sorting through the pile of clothes Plutarch had brought. He absolutely refused to dress his son in sparkling glittering puffy things, fashion or not. The minuscule wigs were put aside too.

"They will let us out soon." she continued, without missing a beat. "We need a place to live and I absolutely refuse to go back to the Presidential Mansion. Now, I ordered some furniture while you were sleeping yesterday, they should be delivered in two or three days. You need to make sure my flat is clean and ready for a newborn and you will also need to organize the nursery. Believe me, I would love to do that myself but my hands are rather full at the moment." She nodded to the child to explain her point. "You should see about getting some toys too. Do try to make it nice."

His recurrent refusals to leave the hospital without them fell into deaf ears – she almost kicked him out physically. It was only when he had actually put a foot out of the building that he realized he had been living there for more than a week.

The outside world felt different – perhaps he was different. The only thing on his mind on his way to the Training Center, where Katniss was being held, was his son and yet he noticed the changes. There were posters everywhere about upcoming elections and several rebel leaders' pictures looked back at him when he passed them by – Paylor was his and Plutarch's choice, they had already planned on public support. Shops were open again, people were wandering the streets, Capitols and Districts alike, rebuilding was underway…

He couldn't see Katniss, she wasn't allowed visitors but he felt guilty for not having checked up on her before. His heart broke a little in his chest when he saw the footage of her naked figure, with her torn skin, singing to herself in the corner of her room. He had failed her again.

The Presidential Mansion was in an uproar and he was ushered in a reunion even before he could go take a shower and change clothes. It was late when he finally managed to escape to Effie's flat. The good point was that the building was still standing and was safe, the bad point was that some of the windows had been blown out and the place had been ransacked at some point. Haymitch made an attempt but he didn't know how to clean, never mind how to organize a nursery.

He didn't dare tell Effie when he finally came back to the hospital, relieved to simply be back in her and their son's presence. It seemed strangely simple with them, easier than he had ever thought it could be. The baby needed nothing more from him being there and Effie was content to handle most of the conversation.

Plutarch's secretary found him someone to repair the windows as well as a cleaning agency that did a better job at making the flat livable than he could ever have. The next problem he had to face, of course, was the actual nursery. Effie's flat was a two-bedrooms apartment, the logical choice was to get rid of the guestroom's furniture and replace it with the newly delivered baby furniture : problem number one was that the baby furniture came in pieces and problem number two was Effie had specifically told him to have the nursery painted with child-friendly color – whatever that was.

Haymitch was out of his depth.

Good thing he had friends and that he wasn't shy about abusing those friendships.

Annie and Plutarch were sent on a toys and decoration shopping trip because Haymitch would have probably ended up in a bar in sheer despair if he had gone by himself, Peeta – who was undergoing heavy therapy but was allowed out under supervision – was put in charge of the painting and Johanna, who spent most of the day asking why she was there, helped Haymitch with the furniture.

"Seriously, does a baby need so much shit or is it Effie being Effie?" he asked, throwing two little plastic pieces on the floor in frustration. Easy to built!, the crib box claimed. Haymitch had some complains about that. And it was only the crib. There was a baby changing table, a baby high chair, baby thingies for the bathroom, baby thingies for every damned room of that flat.

"Your lack of knowledge about babies is frightening given that the devil's spawn is already born." Johanna cackled in her corner of the nursery where she was attempting to build a dresser – attempting was the keyword, she wasn't faring better than Haymitch was.

"'Cause you know more than me, right?" he snapped.

"I know babies make a lot of noise and demand a lot of attention." she shrugged. "I don't want one. What about you, lover boy?"

Peeta paused, paintbrush midair. Haymitch really hoped the boy wouldn't have one of his episodes because he needed that nursery painted for yesterday and instead of using a single color like Haymitch had planned, the boy had gone and plotted with Effie before bullying Haymitch into buying five different paint pots. The walls were now a nice light purple covered with suns, stars, flowers and various animals.

"I know Effie will strangle both of you if that nursery isn't perfect." Peeta answered finally.

The boy had a point so they went back to work, Johanna regularly muttering that if they just let her go and grab her axe she could even out the pieces and finish quicker. It took two days before they were done and that was when Plutarch and Annie appeared with their shopping and Haymitch realized he should have kept an eye on that.

"Don't you think you went a bit overboard?" he asked.

Johanna was in hysterics on the couch, laughing so hard she was clutching her side. He couldn't quite blame her. There was a sea of shopping bags in the living-room, not only toys but more clothes and – that put an end to Johanna's mocking hilarity – more things to built.

The flat didn't even look like the same place anymore.

"So you're really going to stay here?" Johanna asked, once they were left alone to ponder how in hell they were supposed to clip the playpen colorful plastic pieces together. He was certain the baby was too young to use a playpen anyway…

"No, I'm baby proofing a random flat 'cause it's so much fun, sweetheart." he grumbled, studying the box with the musical mobile that should have, in theory, gone on the crib. "You have more stupid questions?"

"I meant in the Capitol, dumbass." she replied.

He looked up, confused. "We can't go anywhere for now. We need to take care of the elections and then Katniss' trials, not to mention the boy still needs psychological help."

"That's a matter of weeks, months maybe." she shrugged, sitting back on her heels. There was something surreal in sitting on a nursery floor with Johanna Mason, he thought. "I plan on getting the hell out of this fucking City as soon as I can and never come back again. I think I will go to Four with Annie. Someone needs to keep an eye on her now."

"Yeah." he agreed. He had been planning on checking on her himself. Finnick would have done the same for him. "She's doing better than I thought she would."

Johanna hummed but didn't answer. She was privy to Annie's confidences, he wasn't.

"So what are you going to do when it's over?" she insisted. "'Cause Haymitch Abernathy living in the Capitol? I don't see it. And Trinket in Twelve? That's never going to happen."

He had never, once, asked himself that question. He had been so busy worrying over something happening to Effie or the kids, he had never even stopped to think and plan life after the rebellion.

"Not sure I have a choice…" he replied finally. "I'm still responsible for Katniss and Peeta."

And neither of them were getting out of the Capitol anytime soon. As for Twelve… He wasn't sure he wanted to go back to Twelve at all. Everything was destroyed there, there was nothing for him in that District but painful memories. Four was an option, he thought, and one he could probably get Effie to rally behind. They could find a house not far from Annie's… He had seen the sea during his Victory Tour and he had liked it, it would be nice for his son to grow up there…

He never found the right time to talk about it with Effie. Everything was moving too quickly. They finished to ready the flat in time for her release from the hospital but it was a close call.

"You better like it." he warned, watching her taking in the changes in her flat, Helios strapped to her chest in his baby sling.

"I love it." she promised, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "I'm actually impressed."

He chased her mouth, careful of the baby between them, but starving for her touch. "How impressed?" he smirked.

She wrapped her arms around his neck with a knowing grin. "I can't do that yet."

"I hate pregnancies." he sighed. "Let's never do it again." That was the moment the baby started to wail like he was possessed and she immediately let go of Haymitch to coo and whisper at the child, completely oblivious of him. He could have disappeared in a puff of smoke and she wouldn't even have noticed. "I think I need to have a man to man talk with him. I was here first."

She shot him a grin over her shoulder. "I'm his before I'm yours, that's the rule now."

"I hate rules." Haymitch huffed.

It was startlingly easy to fall in a domestic life. After having shared a room for so long in Thirteen, sharing an actual flat – with a lot more of space – was nothing he wasn't used to, the baby took up a lot of space both figuratively and physically but they were both so wrapped around his tiny finger they hardly noticed it. They still argued a lot because Haymitch was a slob and Effie was, in his opinion, a neat freak but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He worked with Plutarch whenever he could, checked up on Katniss, made sure Peeta was still working things through and, to Johanna's utter amusement, became a mother hen. Effie was constantly on his back because he was rude to their – recurrent – visitors.

He didn't understand why everyone insisted on picking the baby up. He hated it when Plutarch, Peeta, Annie or Johanna held him – all the more so given that Seven's victor was doing it only to spite him, she had zero to none interest in babies. Haymitch always ended up snapping at them to put his son back down and Effie always ended up apologizing and shouting at him as soon as they were gone.

The fact that Helios never slept through the night didn't help with their mutual crankiness. He woke up every three hours every night.

"The baby's crying again." Haymitch nudged Effie but she only burrowed further under the covers. "Princess, your child is starving."

She opened a sleepy eye and sighed. "It's your turn."

He blinked. It was two in the morning, he was sitting in the bed half-asleep and he didn't see how that made any sense. "You have the breasts, you go feed him."

She was half-asleep but she still had strength enough to whack his arm. "I'm not a cow, Haymitch! I'm tired. Go fetch him. You never get up at night."

"Again. You have the breasts." he shrugged. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go fetch your son before I smother you with your pillow." she hissed, glaring daggers at him.

He had learned not to underestimate her threats when she was sleep-deprived so he did get up and walked the short distance to the nursery, trying to work out a solution to the problem nobody seemed to have realized he had.

The crib didn't have wheels and he didn't want to drag it all the way to the bedroom… The child's wailing became stronger and stronger, making Haymitch cringe.

"Yes, yes…" he tried to shush him, rubbing soothing circle on his son's tummy. "I'm working on it, devil's spawn."

There was no acceptable solution.

"Seriously, Haymitch, how long does it take to pick up a baby?" Effie suddenly ranted from behind him, she reached inside the crib and before a second had passed, the boy was latched on her breast – lucky him, he couldn't help but think. She walked back to their bed still nursing the child and he followed. "What was taking you so long?"

"Nothing." he replied defensively, laying back down next to her.

She was propped against the headboard and was watching him attentively. She switched the baby's weight until she was holding him with a single arm and combed Haymitch's dirty blond hair with her free fingers. Her lips were pursed together, he could almost see her adding two and two. He winced and she shook her head. "Haymitch, why can't I remember a single instance in which you picked up the baby?"

Because he had never done it. He had been very careful about not doing it. She was doing most of the feeding, when Helios needed the bottle and she asked Haymitch to handle it, he made sure she put the baby in the baby carrier, when she asked him to help with the bath, he made sure she had already placed him in the small bathtub and he told her to take care of the drying so she would get the baby out herself, he did the same when nappies or clothes needed changing : always make sure the baby was on the baby changing table first.

"Oh my god, you never held our baby." she gasped.

"It's not a big deal." he grumbled.

"Of course, it's a big deal!" She covered Helios protectively, placing a hand on his ear and lowering her voice to the point of whispering. "He might think you don't love him!"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, sweetheart, he's a baby. He doesn't know any better. I play with him, I take care of him… It's not a big deal."

"Well, it is to me." she huffed. She waited until Helios was fed before she nodded at him. "Sit up."

"No way." he replied quickly. "I don't want to."

"Haymitch, sit up." she ordered.

"I said no." he spat.

They glared at each other and the child, probably picking up on the sudden tension, started squirming in her arms.

"Explain it to me, then." she demanded. "Why wouldn't you want to hold your son?"

He extended his hands. The ever-present quiver, he thought, was explanations enough. Sometimes it was so strong he couldn't even pick up a small object. "I will drop him."

Her face softened. "That won't happen. You just need practice. Here, I will help you."

He folded his arms over his chest petulantly. "I said no."

"Stop acting like a child. We have one of our own now, I can't deal with two." she chided him. She was determined, he knew her, she wouldn't stop at anything until he was holding the baby.

"Effie, he's too small." He tried to sound reasonable. "I will end up hurting him." Playing with him or taking care of him was all well and good when she was nearby, ready to intervene, but holding him was too much. "I'm not… You shouldn't hold a kid with killer's hands. He's innocent. I will… I will soil him." That was something he wouldn't have been able to confess to anyone but her. He begged her with his eyes to understand.

She held his gaze for several seconds and then averted her eyes. She wiped some drool from Helios' chin. "Do you think I'm soiling him?"

"You never killed anyone." he replied at once.

"Perhaps not directly but is it any different?" she whispered.

It wasn't. Not really.

"We shouldn't have a kid." The words left his mouth before he could think twice about it. He regretted them because he loved his son. He loved him like he had never loved anyone else on this earth but…

"No." she agreed. "And if it had been up to us, we probably wouldn't have one. Yet, he's here and I do love him with all my heart." She smiled at the child and then at him. "To him, our hands aren't killer's hands, Haymitch. They are his mother's and father's. Now, come here."

He wasn't convinced but he still let her manipulate his arms in the right position. He closed his eyes until he felt the light weight of his son, then he looked and it felt… It felt good. It felt natural. He was still very awkward with his movements and he was still terrified of dropping him but… He felt… at peace.

"I'm going to protect him, you know." he told her. "I'm going to protect him better than I did Katniss and Peeta. I won't fail this one."

"I know." she rested her head against his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his chest. She dropped a kiss on his neck and then on their son's little foot. It made him smile. He wondered if that was how it felt to be happy.

He was still reluctant to pick the baby up after that night but Effie bullied him into it until he managed to do it without a second thought.

Paylor was elected when Helios turned a month old.

Peeta baked a chocolate and strawberry cake for the occasion.

Plutarch, Annie, Peeta and Johanna had just left and Haymitch and Effie were cleaning up the kitchen when someone knocked on the door. Haymitch had been expecting one of their friend – forgetting things behind was one of Annie's special traits – but he froze when he saw the Capitol man on the threshold. It took him a few seconds to recognize him : he had put on weight since his time in prison and his hair was now dyed a dark shade of navy blue. They stared at each other in silence, then Haymitch glanced at the huge – too huge, they didn't have room for that – stuffed bear Effie's father was carrying and he stepped aside to let him in.

"You hurt her and I promise you prison will look like a fun ride compared to what I will do." he hissed to the man when he walked past him.

The Capitol man didn't answer him but he nodded once and there was something like respect when he looked at Haymitch next.

Needless to say, there were a lot of tears on Effie's part even though she tried to keep a cheerful face. She hated being estranged from her family so her father's making the first step was a huge deal for her even though the man warned her that her sister was still grieving and her mother too set in her old ways to accept Effie's choices so soon. Her father was conflicted, Haymitch saw it, but he obviously loved his daughter very dearly and he fell in love with his grandson at first glance.

Haymitch wasn't surprised when more huge stuffed animals started being delivered in the following days.

They were happy.

It was new and a little frightening to Haymitch, but they were happy.

Even Katniss seemed to be doing better. They were decreasing the morphling and even though she was still occasionally trying to starve herself to death, that was happening less and less. Peeta was doing good, Annie's pregnancy was an easy one – a fact Effie envied – Johanna was her usual charming bitching self…

Haymitch had been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When Katniss' trial date had been announced, Plutarch, Effie and Haymitch had started working on her defense – they were expecting a long trial either way, people wouldn't be satisfied with a two days affair – but they were confident they would win.

On retrospect, he shouldn't have been surprised when Katniss' mother showed up at the flat, the night before the trial was due to begin, so late Haymitch and Effie were already ready for bed; she muttered under her breath about the rudeness of some people before opening the door with a bright smile.

"Mrs Everdeen!" she exclaimed with a mostly fake cheerfulness.

Haymitch didn't quite know why Effie was acting so cold with the woman recently because they had appeared to get along well in Thirteen but he suspected it had to do with the fact that she spent more time checking on Katniss than her own mother did. He and Plutarch had tried to keep the healer updated with their choices for Katniss' trial but the woman had repeatedly shut them out, telling them to do what they thought best.

"Do come in." Effie offered.

Haymitch waited a few seconds on the couch in the living-room but when the women remained on the doorstep, his curiosity got the better of him and he joined them, instinctively placing a hand at the small of Effie's back. She leaned into his side a little, a sure sign that she was uncomfortable. Mrs Everdeen didn't appear to be more at ease, she actually looked relieved to see him.

"No, thank you." the woman said at last. "I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving for Four in the morning. They need help with the hospital there and I… I need to get away for awhile."

That, even Haymitch hadn't seen it coming.

He was certain he and Effie were both gaping inelegantly but she was the first to recover. She straightened her shoulders, her chin jutting in the air, and, for a second, he was back in the Games when she was ready to chew the head of another escort for making fun of their District.

"I beg your pardon?" Effie hissed. He squeezed her waist but if she understood the warning, she didn't show it. "I must have heard you wrong."

Katniss' mother flinched but she didn't back down. She took a white envelope from her pocket and handed it to Haymitch. "Will you give it to her?"

Effie snatched it from her hand before Haymitch could reach for it.

"He won't." she snapped. "He won't because you are not going anywhere. Do you know what the press will say if her own mother doesn't appear at Katniss' trial? You aren't leaving for Four, you are going to sit on the front row at the trial and look the part of the devoted mother you should be."

"Effie…" he started, torn between rebuking her for her judgemental attitude and getting angry too on Katniss' behalf.

"Given that your first reaction when you discovered you were pregnant was to ask about abortion, I'm not sure you have any place to lecture me about what devoted mothers should be." Mrs Everdeen retorted.

That was news to Haymitch but the personal attack was more than he could handle. Ever since her pregnancy, he was overprotective – she had reproached him his behavior enough times. He hated the way she flinched and glanced guiltily over her shoulder in the direction of the baby's room. He ran his hand over her hip soothingly.

"Effie is right." he said coldly. "If you don't come to the trial, it will reflect badly on Katniss."

"Katniss needs you." Effie added, more calmly.

"No, she doesn't." Mrs Everdeen sighed. "I'm not asking you to understand…"

"You're her mother." she insisted before Haymitch could.

"I haven't been Katniss' mother since her father died." the woman smiled sadly. "Look, Katniss… Katniss thinks she's responsible for me just like she felt she was responsible for Prim." The simple mention of her daughter's name brought tears to her eyes. "She doesn't let me take care of her, she doesn't trust me to do that." She shrugged. "She trusts you, she will let you help. She needs you.. And I need to get away from the place where my daughter died. The memories…" She shook her head. "Please, give her the letter."

She turned on her heels and walked away before one of them could try to stop her.

"Go after her." Effie nudged him but he simply closed the door.

"She won't come back." He was certain of it. He had learned to know the woman during the year following the seventy-fourth Hunger Games and he had gathered information from what Katniss didn't say. Mrs Everdeen's way of dealing with grief was to run away, he was painfully familiar with the method.

"But the trial…" Effie let her sentence trail before breathing out a sigh. "I don't understand how a mother can abandon her child." She hurried to the nursery and grabbed the edge of the crib as if she was afraid someone would come and steal their son away. He followed her at a more leisured pace, already working out how to twist Mrs Everdeen's absence to their advantage. "What she says is true in case you were wondering. Abortion was my first thought."

He wrapped his arms around her and propped his chin on her shoulder to watch their son's peaceful slumber. "Mine too." She leaned against him, he pressed a kiss against the side of her neck. "It doesn't matter. It's over now."

They watched Helios in silence for a while, unconsciously matching their own breathing with his.

"Our defense lies upon the fact that Katniss is mentally unstable." Effie said after a few minutes. "Is there any risk of a conversation between you and her proving Coin's murder was planned being reported at court? Because if there is… "

"It wasn't planned." He tightened his hold, not wanting to think about that day.

"But you knew." she insisted. "You sent me away. You knew."

It would have been the perfect moment to come clean about the new batch of Games and the vote he had cast. He had said yes to Katniss not to Coin's offer but the others didn't know that and it was a matter of time before Peeta or Johanna let the cat out of the bag… He could explain, defend himself, Effie would probably believe him. He was too tired for that.

"I wasn't sure." he shrugged. "I would have find a way to get away with it if she hadn't. Coin was dangerous. She needed to be taken down."

She didn't question his judgment, she didn't ask what right he had to decide for an entire country. She simply pressed her forehead against his neck before turning around in his arms. "Do you ever stop to wonder how we went from hating each other to being responsible for three children, one of them biologically ours?"

"No." he chuckled. "It gives me a headache."

"Wise decision." She pressed her lips to his. "Take me to bed, will you?"

That was a request he was happy to comply with.

"It will be fine." he mumbled in her shoulder as he was falling asleep.

It wasn't fine.

The trial took a bad start when there were so many reporters camping in front of the courthouse that they had to send soldiers to escort witnesses inside. One of the reporter was so inconsiderate as to put the lens of his camera inside Helios' pram, Haymitch broke his nose – Plutarch wasn't pleased about that – and another one asked Effie if she was afraid the child would turn out to be a drunkard too – Plutarch wasn't pleased about the broken foot either but Effie's heels were rather deadly when she stomped around.

After that incident, Effie stayed at home with the baby and followed the trial on TV. She helped at night when Haymitch and Plutarch staggered into the flat, exhausted and with headaches the size of District Seven. Haymitch had troubles keeping away from liquor but holding Helios was the best deterrent, he didn't want his son to ever see him drunk. The kid deserved better.

The bargain was Plutarch's idea but Effie and Haymitch agreed wholeheartedly. Once it had been proved that Katniss was mentally unstable, it was just a matter of finding the right "punishment" – executing a President couldn't go unpunished, it would send the wrong message – so Plutarch had the idea of a therapy, with a supervision order, not unlike what Peeta was doing. All they needed was someone who would take responsibility for the girl. Ideally that would have been her mother, given the current situation, it would have to be her former mentor.

"The flat is too small for three." Effie mused, the night before they suggest their idea to the court. "We will need to buy a house."

"Rent." he corrected her.

"Yes, you're right." she nodded. "We had a lot of expenses recently. Babies don't come cheap…" It wasn't actually what he meant, he still had not intention of remaining in the Capitol forever but he didn't think it was the right time to go into that. Besides, she was happy to talk to herself. "Rent for now. I will start looking tomorrow shall I?"

He should have known it wouldn't go according to plan.

The court consented to release Katniss in his care in exchange of her undergoing therapy… As long as that happened in Twelve. Out of sight out of mind. He was faced with no other choice but to accept. There was no time to phone Effie or consult her on the matter and there was no need to anyway because the other option was to leave Katniss to a life in prison.

He agreed to leave for Twelve the next day with the girl.

"Let's go have a drink." he suggested to Plutarch as soon as they were out of the courthouse.

He didn't want to go back to Twelve. He didn't want to face his past. He didn't want to face Effie either.

"That will make it worse." the former Gamemaker sighed. "She will understand. Eventually."

Plutarch escorted him home. Haymitch should have been angry but he was actually glad for the company because he wasn't sure he wouldn't have stopped to get drunk on the way and it would have indeed made it worse.

When he entered the flat, it was so silent he almost thought Effie was gone. She wasn't. She was laying on the bed, reading a magazine – or pretending to read a magazine, she was turning the pages so quickly a lot of them ripped – the baby was next to her, surrounded by cushions to prevent a fall.

"Congratulations." she said in a flat voice, when he came in, not even looking up from her magazine.

"Don't be a bitch about this." he sighed. "I didn't have a choice."

"Language." she snapped. She turned – ripped – another page. "So. Did you figure out how you are going to make it work? Are you coming back on the week-ends? Or a week a month? I assume you still wish to be a part of your son's life even though you apparently don't want me to feature in yours. Moving to the other end of the country might be a bit extreme though, Haymitch. You could simply have said you never meant for it to be so serious between us and you wanted to break up with me."

It was a long speech and he was tired but he understood the main part anyway. "What? What are you going on about, I don't want to leave you."

"Really?" she huffed, closing her magazine and tossing it on her nightstand. "Because I can't think of another reason a man would accept to move to the other side of Panem without consulting his wife on the matter."

She climbed off the bed, scooped up the baby who had started crying and walked to the kitchen. She was very apt at preparing a bottle one-handed now.

"We're not married." he muttered.

"I gave you a child." she retorted. "I don't care about official papers, we're more than married."

She might have a point.

"You think I want to go back there, sweetheart?" he grumbled. "I couldn't refuse. What did you want me to do?"

"I don't know." she admitted, rocking the baby a little. She leaned against the fridge and stared at him. "When do you leave?"

"We leave tomorrow at noon." he frowned. "You're coming." He couldn't help the note of uncertainty in his voice. She was angry about him making decisions for her – again – but she wasn't actually being serious about him making regular trips to the Capitol, was she?

"In a dumpster of a house not fit to welcome a newborn? In a District without a proper hospital when we have a premature baby only a month and a half old?" she asked, matter-of-factly. "Never mind that living in Twelve isn't my choice, Haymitch, I am not taking my baby there, at least not while it isn't safe for him to go."

"It's not mine either." he growled. "And you're not staying behind, you're coming."

"No." she repeated firmly. "I am not."

They stared at each other, realizing at the same time they were in a dead-end. They weren't even angry, not really, they were just…

"Effie, you're not staying behind." he said again, holding out his arms for his son. He hated carrying him when his hands were shaking as bad as they were at that second but he needed to hold him close. She passed Helios to him without question, watching as he gathered the baby against his chest protectively. "You're asking me to choose between Helios and Katniss. Don't do that."

She lowered her eyes and took a deep breath. "Alright. You will go tomorrow with Katniss and make sure the house is livable and the District is safe for us. I will… make arrangements to have the furniture sent over. I will follow in a few weeks with Peeta. Hopefully there will be a hospital there by that time."

"No." he spat. He started to pace the length of the kitchen, too agitated to stay put. "You're coming tomorrow. You and Helios."

"Haymitch, be reasonable…" she tried only to flinch when he started shouting.

"I'm not leaving you behind!" The baby started wailing in fear but he avoided Effie's attempts to take him back from him. He held him closer, rocking him gently. "Sorry, sorry…" he whispered to his son. His heart was racing when he turned to Effie again. She was biting her lower lip, her eyes darting from him to the infant in his arms. He must have looked crazy, he thought. "I… I can't."

"A few days, then." she bargained. "The time necessary for you to get the house ready."

He shook his head. "You're coming tomorrow. I will phone Sae, ask if she can do something for the house… Plutarch will find someone to pack the flat and send everything to Twelve. It might be difficult for a few days but it will be fine, Princess. You can redecorate the whole house. You can do whatever you want. Hang pink curtains for all I care…"

His own bargaining attempts were cheap, even he could recognize that but what could convince her to go to Twelve with him? There was nothing for her in Twelve. Nothing at all. There was nothing for him either except nightmarish memories.

"A few days won't make a difference." she argued. "I am not going to keep your son from you, Haymitch, you can trust me when I say I will bring him. I am not thrilled about moving, true, but I am less thrilled about being parted from you. We will come…"

"I can't leave without either of you." he growled. "What's so hard to understand, sweetheart? Go and buy a brain instead of new shoes next time."

He stormed out of the kitchen, the baby still in his arms. She followed, of course.

"You're being irrational!" she shouted. "I don't see how a few days make any difference. Why can't you see it's ridiculous to…"

"Because when you leave your family behind, they die!" he yelled back, turning on his heel to face her.

They both froze, staring at each other.

Then Helios started wailing.

Haymitch was slightly out of breath, his limbs were heavy with fear. He let her take the baby and slumped on the couch, wishing for a drink. Anything would have been enough, even a beer. She hummed to their son slowly, rocking him until his crying morphed into those cute baby noises Helios made so easily. When he was calmer, she disappeared in the nursery and came back empty-handed.

He fought his growing panic at having his son out of his sight. He knew the child was safe in the next room but the fear wasn't logical and it certainly wasn't the kind he could control – not without a lot of liquor anyway.

"I have to take care of Peeta and Katniss." he said when she sat down next to him on the couch. "I can't save Katniss if you don't help me. I know it's unfair and I know it's asking a lot, sweetheart, but if you don't come with me I'm not leaving."

She wasn't pleased, he could feel her irritation coming from her in waves, so he was surprised when she placed her hand on his and squeezed. "Phone ahead. I need the house clean at the very least. If someone could find a crib until ours is delivered, it would be helpful. Doctor Haltman is back in Thirteen… It's not that far, I will see if I can get her to come for check-ups or maybe we could go to her…"

He would have agreed to anything. He would have loved to thank her but he wasn't good at that. He kissed her instead, his heart was full to the brim with feelings he didn't know how to put into words.

"We're having a toasting." he told her between two kisses. She already had his mother's ring anyway.

"I don't know what that is." She didn't seem very curious to find out, she slid a leg across his lap until she was straddling him to get a better access to his mouth. He did a quick job at unbuttoning her green blouse but she stopped him before things could go much further, pecking his lips a final time. "I need to start packing."

He thought she was joking but she left and never returned.

"Tease!" he accused her.

Her light laughter echoed from the bedroom.

"That will teach you to uproot me to the other side of the country without asking me first for the second time in a year!" she replied.

He granted her the point.

Getting Katniss from her prison was both a relief and a chore. The girl was as charming as ever – which meant not at all – and she was difficult about everything. He supposed it was a good thing that the fire was still there buried under the apathy and the brooding but, still, he was glad when they reached the hovercraft because Effie was better at handling brooding teenagers than he was – or, at least, she was better at hiding the fact they were grating on her nerves. Plutarch's presence was a surprise but he supposed it shouldn't have been, the Gamemaker probably wanted to check up on Katniss as well as on Haymitch and Effie.

Katniss made an effort to oh and ah appropriately in front of Helios but everyone could see it was more for Effie's sake than out of real interest. When the girl reached for him, Haymitch was quick to pluck the baby out of his mother's arms and take him out of Katniss' way.

"Look but don't touch." he warned. Helios was already cranky enough. It was his first hovercraft trip and he threw up thrice – twice on his father, once on Plutarch : Effie seemed to have a sixth sense when vomit was involved, she claimed it came from her long experience in taking care of him.

"Don't mind him, dear." Effie rolled her eyes. "He is incapable of behaving properly with anyone, it's nothing personal."

"He's a mother hen." Plutarch added, suppressing his laughter with difficulties.

Nobody paid any mind to him when he grumbled all the rest of the way about being the only one taking his son's safety seriously. Even Helios seemed unconvinced because he kept flunking his little hand in the direction of Katniss' braid. He couldn't actually grab yet but he was certainly trying to figure it out.

The real mother hen, though, was without contest Effie. He wouldn't have liked to be in Katniss' shoes because between the former escort and Graesy Sae, the girl wasn't allowed a moment of rest. Taking care of the teenager certainly eased Effie's settling in Twelve, giving her a purpose and something to fill her time with – other than clicking her tongue at the state of his house and redecorating it from floor to ceiling.

He never did look at the amount of money she spent on it because not only was it so ambitious they had to sleep at Katniss' for a few nights but it was also done very quickly for a District in full rebuilding.

Helios was a good name choice : their son did seem to put light in their life. Life was harder in Twelve than it was in the Capitol, there were more bad days – days when the grief was too heavy for Haymitch to bear, days when he felt as if he was lacking purpose and was adrift, days when all he he could do was stay in bed in fear he would get up only to search for a bottle of liquor – but the good days still outnumbered them.

Effie was good for him, she kept him on his toes, she kept him fighting, she kept him from drowning… And their baby was the best thing that had happened to Haymitch. There was a first thing happening every day. Sometimes, he took so much pleasure in those quiet moments when Helios did something for the first time, he even forgot to be frightened about what could possibly happen to him.

Helios was four months old when Peeta's call came. Effie volunteered to go fetch him because she wanted to spend a few days in the Capitol – getting in touch with her family, he figured – and she didn't want to bring Helios on a full day train ride. Haymitch had a lot of problems with that, the main one being that he would be stuck at home alone with a small baby.

He and Helios managed just fine, though – with the help of Graesy Sae and Katniss' unnecessary and annoying visits to remind him that a baby needed to eat now and then and despite Effie's numerous calls to make sure they were all still alive – although, he supposed Effie would have a fit when she'd see the state the house was in. He was fully prepared to blame their child.

Effie, however, didn't even notice the general mess when she finally came back. She made a beeline for the baby playpen and picked him up without even a glance for Haymitch.

"Oh, Mommy missed you so, so much, sweetie…" she cooed to the baby who was more interested in catching her wayward blond curls than listening to her incessant chatter. "Did you behave for Daddy? Or, rather… Did Daddy behave for you?"

She grinned at him and Haymitch lifted an eyebrow.

"Funny." he deadpanned.

"Isn't it?" She was so cheeky… He couldn't help himself. He carefully took the baby from her and put him back in his playpen. Helios immediately went back to flinging his toys left and right – his new favorite game. "Haymitch…" Her warning was playful, she stepped backward until she reached the corridor's wall. Her retreat blocked, she had no other choice but to accept the wandering hands on her waist and the hungry lips on her neck. "Haymitch..." It was a sigh that time and it made him smirk.

"Missed me?" he teased.

"Don't I always?" she nuzzled his neck. "Peeta went to Katniss'."

"Is that safe?" he frowned. He stopped fumbling with the zipper of her pencil skirt to look at her but she coiled a hand around his neck and pulled him in a kiss that left him breathless. "I will take that as a yes. How about an early night?"

"It's three in the afternoon." she reminded him, unbuttoning his shirt swiftly.

"How about a nap?" he smirked. Her skirt fell to the ground in a heap of fabric.

"I'm not sleepy." She faked a pout.

He kissed that right off her face. "You will be when I'm done with you."

Her laughter was the sweetest sound he knew and it might have only been a few days but he had missed her terribly. He was too used to living with her to be without her now.

He couldn't imagine a life without her and their son.

He didn't want to think how his life would have turned out if he had left her in the Capitol instead of bringing her to Thirteen.

They wouldn't have had Helios.

They wouldn't have been as happy as they were.

It was too terrible to even consider.

The End

Thank you everyone for reading and commenting on that story. I hope you liked it and I would love it if you could tell me what you thought of that last part =)