Master of My Domain

AN: Not cannon timeline. Gabe is unquestioned as alive (#gabrielives), Bobby is alive, Kevin is not there, and Cas is newly human. Just…don't question anything.

Prologue: The Contest

Stupid Gabriel and his stupid messing around.

How he managed to wiggle his way into the bunker was still a mystery to Dean, Sam, and Cas who had all been cooped up inside at the time the angel mysteriously popped into their kitchen and started eating their pop tarts.

Dean's labeled pop tarts.

It was just the four of them inside and it was going to stay that way because whatever Gabe did, he locked them in. No matter how much kicking Dean did or chanting Sam gave or fingers Gabe snapped or awkwardly Cas stood, the doors would not budge.

Not a single one. Not a single inch.

Gabe couldn't even fly out without slamming his head into the ceiling.

It was actually pretty amusing, to everyone but him.

On top of being stuck, they were cut off from all forms of research. Any book they tried to pick up would fly across the room or disappear from their hands. The internet, wifi and Ethernet, was completely out. All the technology worked -thankfully the fridge and microwave were still running- but research was a complete no-go.

It was as if the bunker did not want them to leave.

Stupid bunker.

"What did you do?!" Dean yelled at Gabriel for the hundredth time.

"Nothing! Can't you get us out?"

"If I could get us out do you think I'd be here staring at your ugly face?"

"Guys," Sam tried to intervene. "Come on. Fighting won't get us anywhere."

"Yeah Dean-o. Listen to your brother."

"Whatever." Dean stomped off to his room to detox with music and a healthy dose of glaring at his ceiling.

"I'll see if he's alright," Cas said helpfully –he hoped- as he trailed Dean to his room.

"I'm going to call Bobby." Luckily the phones still worked. "You-" Sam pointed to Gabe. "Don't touch anything."

"Sure thing boss!" Gabe winked and waited until Sam was out of the room to start twisting knobs, pushing buttons, and turning dials.

When everyone reconvened, Sam said that Bobby would be ready to bust them out as soon as he figured out how to do it. Which, according to Bobby, would take a week because he was halfway across the country and it would take him a few days just to get back to his books.

"Great," Dean nodded sarcastically. "That's just great. So we're stuck here?"

"Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch." Gabe lounged in one of the chairs surrounding the large wooden table with his feet thrown up on the tabletop. He stuck his tongue out at Dean when he wouldn't stop glaring.

"Why are you here anyway?"

"Yeah." Sam asked, much calmer than Dean, "Why are you here?"

"What? I can't pay my bestest humans a visit?" Gabe gestured to all three of them and landed his gaze on Cas. "Check up on the little bro?"

"I find human life quite confusing," Cas answered him as if it were a question.

"He's not actually concerned, Cas," Dean growled.

"Sure I am. Especially now. I'm worried about all of you."

"Us?" Sam asked.

"You lot," Gabe nodded. "Humans. Without your wifi with free internet porn and all those pent up primal urges."

"Excuse you?" Dean sneered, too pissed off to stop himself from clomping his fists on the table.

"Alright-" Gabe threw his hands up, "-some stuff you gotta do. Eat and sleep and all that. But down under? You can't control yourself."

"I think I can control myself just fine. I'm not killing you am I? And what about you?!" Dean yelled and pointed at the candy bar Gabe was currently unwrapping. "Poofing things in whenever you want them. We didn't have Twix!"

"I do that cus I want to," Gabe mumbled around the bit in his mouth. "I don't need to do anything. I'm the master of my domain. Not like you. There's a reason you need to hit up a bar in every town you stop in. Looking for a way to get off when your brother's hogging the shower-"

"Gabriel-" Sam tried to stop the argument but he went unheard. Again.

"I don't need to," Dean scoffed. "My domain is just fine. I just like to have a good time."

"Wanna bet?" Gabe wiggled his brows suggestively, pushing Dean until he hooked onto the bait like a wriggly river minnow.

"What'd'ya mean?"

"Oh no," Sam sighed and sunk back in his chair.

Cas kept standing as he looked between them all and shrugged. "I don't understand. What is happening?"

"We're stuck right?" Gabe went on, still fully engaged with Dean. "And you, as humans, will want yourselves a little happy time. Some spank and wank? Clean your flag pole? Polish the little soldier?" His musings went unamused. "I bet you guys can't last the week without needing to get down'n'dirty-"

"Whoa!" Sam threw up his hands, "Hey, when did I become a part of this?"

"You're on," Dean nodded.

"No sex, no touching, no wet dreams-"

"We can't control that," Dean argued.

"Fine. Just no coming out of your own will."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Gabe managed to look offended.

"You think you're so much better? I bet you can't last."

"I'm an angel. Celibacy is in the job description."

"Not with you."

"Fine. You wanna get schooled? No one gets any yayas," Gabe stared pointedly at every one of them. "Last man standing –painfully erect- gets what?"

"I did not agree to this," Sam sighed behind his hand.

"Afraid you'll lose Sammy?" Gabe prodded him in his side, eliciting a deep groan from the other man.

"What about Cas?" Dean jabbed his thumb back at the confused former angel.

"Me?" Cas sounded even more confused than he looked.

"He's Cas," Dean continued. "Does he even know what we're talking about?"

"I understand–"

"Do you even do that stuff?" Dean sounded a bit too interested in getting that answer.

Cas dropped his head with a blush, "Um-"

"Alright Cas is out."

"Wait," Gabe stopped him with a hand and smirked in his brother's direction. "I think you're misinterpreting Cassie's hesitation."

All turned to Cas and under the spotlight he stuttered, "I have…I understand…participation and… masturbation due to-"

"Whatever," Dean cut him off as he sank into his chair, tightly crossing his legs. "So winner gets what?"

Gabe snapped and pointed in victory. "The best sex of his life."

"You can't guarantee that." Dean shook his head.

Sam shrugged. "How about just making the other three do whatever he wants?"

Gabe leaned over and elbowed Sam. "Getting into it Sammy?"

"Well I'm not getting out of it."

"That's the spirit!" Gabe patted him harshly on the back.

"How will we know if anyone is cheating?" Dean asked, eyeing them all skeptically.

"I can tell," Gabe nodded enthusiastically.

"Who's gonna read you?"

"I'm an angel. I don't lie."

"Please."

"Scouts honor."

"Bullshit."

"Cassie could tell," Gabe nodded at him but he still looked very confused and tomato red. "He knows what every one of us look like after the act."

Dean coughed uncomfortably and turned back to Cas, "You could tell when I…we…whenever we…um-"

"It's true."

"That's information I didn't need," Sam groaned.

Dean thrust out his hand through the awkward silence. "Shake?"

"I'm not touching those hands," Gabe shied away and swept his hand over the table, bringing four beers in with his angel mojo. "Alright boys, let's see who is master of their domain." He lifted his beer to the air for a toast that all joined. "The game begins!"