AN: So I have decided to update this one again. I have read another really good NaruKaka recently (Sneaky Little Fox) that made me want to write this again, after a recent flame about how terrible this fic is and 'painful to read'. Well do you know what, I like it, and I like writing it so there. Fanfiction is just a bit of fun, we make no money from it, and it is just an interpretation of Kishi's characters, nothing to be taken seriously. If you don't like it just don't read it, and if you have nothing good to say just don't say it. I am happy with suggestions or constructive feedback from people who are enjoying it, but if you hate it, just go.

By the way, another reason this was neglected is because I was pushing on with another fic, and I completed it :D it is a lighthearted fluffy GaiKaka if anyone is interested, and it is my second completed multichapter fic.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and approve of lil Kashi :) and I think because of the darker themes in this fic, I am going to change it to 'M' rating. That means if I decide to write a scene of lemony yaoi goodness I can :)

Chapter 22

"Heh, that was more entertaining than I anticipated," Sasuke smirked. "Now where were we?"

Before Sasuke could move towards Kakashi, the ANBU teenager had turned around and with a surprising amount of force and said, "No! You will not come anywhere near me. Get the fuck away! How could you even dream that I would want you after what you just did?"

Sasuke scowled. "But Naruto has abandoned you. He wants nothing more to do with you. I am here. I understand you. I am not judging you, unlike him."

"Yes, you are. You are think because you accept it means you aren't passing any judgment? You are wrong. Everything you have said to me and done only confirms this; you think because I have allowed myself to be used that way before that I will again. Just because you found out a few things about my past you think you can treat me like a whore, that I will just lie down and open my legs for you, when you say, all on your terms. I may have masochistic tendencies at times, when I'm feeling depressed, but that does not mean I will let anyone take advantage of this whenever they feel like it. What I do is always my decision, my terms. And I do not choose you. I choose… him."

"Naruto doesn't want you! I want you. And I know you want me- you need someone like 're alike, you and I."

"You only think that to justify your actions. You do not love me."

"And Naruto's does?" Sasuke sneered.

"Yes, he does. He told me so. And I believe him."

"And you doubt my feelings?" Sasuke's eyes were hard, serious.

"Whatever they are, I don't trust them, and they don't concern me. Whatever issues you had with Naruto and my future self are none of my concern."

Sasuke banged his fist on the coffee table.

"Dammit, Kakashi," he snapped, breathing heavy in his anger. "Why can't you understand? Why do you refuse to see? My feelings burn just as strong as Naruto's, but I have a different way of showing it, unlike that loudmouth. I want you. Not just your body; I want all of you. And I want you to want me; like I know you do, you just haven't realised it yet."

Kakashi said nothing, unsure if that was a threat or if Sasuke was just deluded. He watched the raven for a few moments, taking in his the emotion behind those dark eyes, the passion behind his anger.

Kakashi considered for a moment before responding. "As cold as I may seem, believe me when I say I never seek to hurt anyone. But I can't return your feelings, and I cannot force what isn't there." Kakashi walked towards the smashed window where Naruto had left not long before. "I have to go."

"No, you don't. There is nothing else for you now except your empty apartment. Stay with me. You may not think you have feelings for me yet, but they will soon grow. We are alike you and I. Outcasts caused by the deaths of all those we held dear."

"Nothing has changed for me. I was alone before and I will be alone now if Naruto will no longer have me. It would be wrong to force this. Besides I am happier in my own company."

"I wouldn't be so certain if I were you. After all, things have changed; you are on my team now. You will come around to my, ah, charms."

"Don't count on it," was the last thing Kakashi said before he hopped out of the window into the light outside.

Only, once Kakashi had put a respectable amount of distance between himself and Sasuke, he no longer knew what to do with himself. He didn't want to return home to his empty flat with only his morbid thoughts for company. Despite how tired he was from the mission, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He didn't feel hungry either.

So he… just walked. He avoided the busy streets and just strolled around the emptier lanes of the suburbs. Eventually he came across a couple of girls who could only be Hyugas. The youngest was around Kakashi's age, with long, long dark brown hair that fell well past her hips. The older one had long dark blue hair and gentle features. Both had the unmistakable eerie Hyuga eyes.

They were sitting out in the sun together, on a bench in the street, and the older one was knitting a long red scarf. Despite how lost he felt, he noticed the look on the girl's face; it was one of utter devotion and adoration as she went about her task. It was something Kakashi had rarely seen, except recalling that it was the look his sensei had when he watched Kushina.

Kakashi wasn't the only one who noticed this behaviour. The younger girl watched the other with an amused smile.

"You know, Hinata, I never used to understand your obsession with Naruto, and only saw him as an outcast. But now… now I seem to have been caught up in the same affection for him as everyone else. I really hope you bag him soon! It would be cool to have the leaf's hero as a brother-in-law! It will totally make the other girls jealous!" The girl winked at her sister in teasing affection.

"Hanabi!" The other girl gasped, looking around wildly to make sure they hadn't been overheard.

Kakashi's face had drained of the little colour it had, and he had to turn away and walk on quickly, his heart somehow racing and sinking at the same time. Of course he already knew from their spat earlier that he couldn't have Naruto, that he didn't deserve him, but still it was hard to hear of another who shared his feelings for the blond.

And she was so pretty too. So gentle, so sweet and innocent looking… everything he was not. Everything Naruto truly deserved.

And it hurt to acknowledge it.

One and on Kakashi walked, trying to steer away from other people, resisting the urge to clutch at his chest, where he felt like his heart was breaking. Instead he firmly kept his hands in his pockets. He remained undisturbed in his misery. Until-

"Ah, my youthful rival!" A thump behind Kakashi followed the loud greeting, and Kakashi knew the man in question had landed expertly behind him.

"Why are you here?" Kakashi snapped, unable to keep calm.

"Well, I was just enjoying tea on my balcony that overlooks this street, and I noticed your abundance of youthful silver hair passing by."

"I thought you lived in another district?" Again, the same antagonistic tone.

"I moved after I became a jonin sensei." Gai blinked, a little taken aback by Kakashi's manner. Something didn't seem right here, even for someone as distant as Kakashi.

"Whatever… look, what do you want?"

"A challenge of course!"

"I'm not in the mood."

"Ha! You always say that! Just as hip and cool as ever, Kakashi."

"Today I am really not in the mood. Just go away, Gai."

Kakashi tried to walk away, but the Green Beast was never one to relent when it came to his rival. He hadn't had a conversation with Kakashi turn so sour in years. It took him back to a time when Kakashi was alone and depressed, and Gai had even feared suicidal at one point in their youth. He knew he couldn't turn away from Kakashi now.

So masterfully, he used his chakra to jump and spin through the air, above his rival's head, and landed in front of him, blocking his path.

Kakashi was obviously unimpressed, as he didn't even bother to look up. He kept his eyes down. That was when Gai grew really concerned. He tilted Kakashi's chin up, and saw… pain behind that grey eye. A pain Kakashi was trying to hide.

"What happened on your mission?" Gai asked.

"Nothing." He had said it too quickly. He wasn't fooling Gai.

"Don't lie to me, Kakashi." Gai was solid, firm. He hadn't had to deal with this for a while, but they were soon slipping back into the past. Gai had hoped he would never have to talk this way with Kakashi again. His adult rival was much more relaxed and open with him. Past Kakashi was secretive and always kept up his guard, even with those closest to him.

"Just get out of the way."

Gai folded his arms. "Fine you don't want to talk to me. That isn't anything new. But at least stop skulking around by yourself. Let's have a challenge at least, to take your mind off things." He put a hand on Kakashi's shoulder. It was tense, unrelenting.

"Just leave me alone," Kakashi whispered. "I just want to be alone." His voice grew louder, and he shoved Gai as hard as he could without hurting him.

Gai rubbed his rib and watched his rival go, contemplating his behaviour and his next move. This didn't bode well, and it was obvious Kakashi wouldn't tell him anything about whatever had occurred; and something had happened, Gai could sense it. He knew Kakashi better than his rival knew himself. Although he hadn't had to deal with this side of Kakashi for a long time, Gai hadn't changed enough to let this slide. He hadn't given up on Kakashi when they were young, and he wouldn't give up on Kakashi now.