Hi. Nothing much to say. Just two things. One, I own nothing. Two, make fun of this AT ALL and I will personally kill you. I don't do jokes.

My name is Percy Jackson. I'm a savior of Olympus and defeater of Kronos and modern Greek hero and all that junk.

You want to know something? When was the last time you heard of told a joke about constipation? Or constipated people? Hm?

Ill answer for you. The last time was too many times.

Everytime someone that's constipated hears a joke about constipation, it cuts them like a knife. Your best friend might be constipated and you've never known. It hurts them to hear someone they trust talking about them like that, even if the person doesn't know their friend is constipated.

How do I know all this? I'm constipated myself.

I know I'm sixteen years old. I've defeated a Titan or two, but old habits die hard. I've had this habit for eleven years. What can I say? No one has found out though.

The other day I was at school with my mortal friends. Their names are Dave, Stu, Leeman, Sarah, and Martha. I'd love to say otherwise, but we aren't the coolest people in the school.

During lunch that day, I sat at my usual table with my friends eating a sandwich when Stu started talking.

"I walked into the bathroom today and I saw a professional plumber trying to unclog a toilet! He was huffing and puffing so much that I almost thought he was laying one too! After a good ten minutes, he finally did it. The monster in there was so big a constipated elephant must've flushed it!"

Everyone other than me laughed. Martha looked at me.

"Are you okay Percy? You usually laugh at one of Stu's jokes. Are you feeling alright?" She asked me concerned.

"I'm fine," I muttered head low. I brushed her away gently.

Everyone at at the table looked at me oddly. I kept my head down and avoided eye contact.

"Percy...?" Leeman tried. I didn't reply.

"Was it something I said?" asked Stu.

Abruptly, I stood up. "I need to get some air."

"Percy!" Sarah called after me as I raced out of the building. I jogged over to a tree outside and used practically no effort climbing it. I scaled the oak tree and sat down in the highest branch that could support me. I took a notebooks and pencil out of my backpack. I started to write.

Why do people make fun of another's problem? Is it because they themselves have problems? Is something wrong with them? Or did the fates decide they'd just be that type of person? I don't know. I've known people that think they're better than others before. Drew, Hercuoes, Zeus, Hera, throwing their power around and using it for evil. If they chose to, they could do better than good. Better than great. Perfect even. But they don't. People like Drew and Zeus use their power to bring others down. They could help people, they have the ability to make everyone else do the right thing. Instead, the people with power let it go to their heads. They misuse it. And then use the power to make people feel bad about themselves. Its not really fair if you think about it. If I had the power they had, I'd use it for good. I'd help people. I'd be a hero, not for Olympus, but for regular kids like me. How do you know what a vtictim's going through? They could've been having a really bad day, but then they were teased. What happens in situations like those? The victim dies. Maybe someday I'll make a difference. Maybe someday I'll stop it from ever happening again.

"Percy!" A female voice called. I peered over my branch between the leaves and stopped writing. Underneath the tree stood my gang. "Percy!" Martha called.

"Where is he?" Dave asked. "Is he okay?"

"I hope so," Leeman said pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "I wonder where he went. Maybe he climbed up a tree or something?"

"I checked up every tree on school grounds. Maybe he's cutting class? Skipping school?" Stu suggested.

Sarah was horrified. "Skip school? Who would ever want to skip school?!"

Dave, Stu, and Martha all looked at each other. "Everyone other than you two it seems," they told Sarah and Leeman.

"Hey! That's highly offensive!"

"Told you they'd be a cute couple," Martha said.

Stu scowled. "I'll pay up tomorrow."

"We aren't a couple!" Sarah and Leeman exclaimed in sync. with each other. They both blushed as Martha and Stu laughed.

"Guys! Did you forget what's more important? Finding percy! Remember!" Dave shouted.

"Darn. Forgot. Stupid ADD," Stu muttered.

Martha picked up a bossy attitude. "Come on everyone! If he left school grounds he couldn't have gone far! Lets pick up the pace here! Chop chop!"

"Yeah he could be far. He's faster than all of us combined. And he got a head start. We'll never find him," Leeman murmured. Good to see he's as optimistic as ever.

Sarah interrupted. "I know how we can find him."

"How?!"

"One minute." Sarah took out her phone and started typing away on it. After a minute or two, it dinged. "There we go!"

"What'd you just do?" Dave asked suspiciously.

"I logged into an app I have. It's like a GPS except it can find a person. The only thing is, you have to be holding of wearing a special pin."

"How'd you get Percy to have a pin? He doesnt like anything sharp near him!" It's true. If I get poked with something sharp and I don't get hurt due to the Achilles Curse, people will get suspicious.

"Oh he doesn't know." I do now. "It's in his backpack. He carries it everywhere and i slipped the pin in on the first day after he became friends with me. I have one for all of you too."

"That's creepy."

Sarah shrugged. "Depends on how you look at it. Now I press this button and Percy's pin will go off. It will reveal his location and he'll come up on my map and then we can follow it. Ready?"

Everyone nodded their heads. Sarah smiled and pushed the button in her phone. At first, nothing happened. Then, an ear-splitting noise erupted from my backpack. It was so loud and annoying and just plain painful that I almost fell from the tree. How embarrassing would that be?

Martha covered her ears. "Does that horrible noise mean he's near?"

Sarah nodded, also grabbing at her ears. "He's close!"

"Up there!" Leeman shouted pointed at my tree. "It's Percy!"

I cursed under my breathe as Sarah turned off her gods-awful device. I didn't want to be found. Stupid Sarah.

"Come down Percy!" Dave called. I pretended not to hear.

"Perce! What are you doing up there?" Leeman called. I looked down at them but didn't answer.

"Are you okay?" Martha asked. I shrugged in response.

Stu yelled up next. "I'm sorry! I didn't know! I don't even know what I said to make you mad!"

I nodded my head, as if to say yeah okay. That's nice. Not listening but that's nice.

Sarah spoke last. "Don't fall off the branch! You could break a bone! Or die!"

I smiled despite myself. "Thanks Sarah. I'll try not to fall."

She smiked back at me and sat under the tree I was in. "I'll stay here that way in case you do fall I can help."

"What about classes?" I asked.

"Friends are more important."

"Thank you Sarah." The other four looked at Sarah and I and sat down around the tree.

"No escape," Dave said and for once I was happy. That all changed soon after.

I was sitting in English class writing in my notebook when someone came up and took it from my hands. It was Eric, the school bully, jackass, playboy, and the most popular boy. He took my notebook and held it sideways.

"Ooh, what's this? 'Why do people suffer from constipation? I wish there was a cure for someone like me'? Are you constipated Jackson?" Eric sneered.

"Give it back," I said evenly clenchimg my fists. I didn't really want to get into a fight with this basturd (turd as in poop), at least not now. He still has my notebook.

"I wonder what everyone else would say about this...what do you think?" Eric smirked.

"I think you should give it back of get hurt."

Eric's friend Josh Dragner popped up behind Eric's back and took the notebook from him.

"I'll give it back... But now I cant. I don't have it. Josh! Give Jackson his book back!" Josh ran towards the front of the room and jumped over desks.

"Come and get it!" He yelled as he placed the book under the projecter. The page Eric was reading was now shown on the board.

"Who wants to read?" Eric asked. He he picked a popular pretty blonde girl. Her name was Ava. Eric picked Ava because Ava and Eric were an item. Yay (sarcasm).

Ava started to read the words on the board. This can't be happening, I thought. This isn't real. I'm dreaming. Kids aren't that mean, insecure, rude, and merciless are they?

They are Percy. They are.

Ava read the paragraph on the board out loud to the whole class. By the first time constipation was mentioned, they all started to giggle and snicker. By the end, I was practically in tears.

"Stop it!" I cried.

The other students just laughed louder.

"Give it back! Stop it!" I shrieked.

No one responded. They couldnt hear me; they were laughing too loud.

"What's the matter Jackson? You won't be treated too differently. You're still a social outcast with those loser friends of yours. You just can't fix some things. Like you Jackson. There's no fixing you," Eric gloated.

Tears welled up behind me eyes. Eric's face was inches away from mine as he snarled and bragged to me.

I couldn't take it anymore. Stupid jerk Eric, lazy slut Ava, cruel annoying classmates, ignorant teacher talking in the hallway. "SILENCE!" I roared. They all jumped. I've been at Goode for a two or three years already and no one has ever heard me yell. I'm the quiet kid in the back. Yeah, well not right now.

Just as I screamed for silence, Mrs Loterner walked back in. I knew she'd heard me even before i finished my word. The English teacher gave me the stink eye and asked everyone what was going on. People started saying I stole someone's notebook and blamed the whole thing on me. I couldn't take it anymore.

Tears blurring my vision, I darted between desks to the front of the room, grabbed my notebook, and rushed out of class. I didn't stop running until I was far away from the school. With my notebook in hand, I walked home.

Line Break

Thoughts swirled through my head.

Do it.

Don't do it.

Think about those kids from school. Eric, Ava, Josh, Mrs. Loterner, the students in my class. People from the mythological world. Drew, Zeus, Hercules, Hera, even Athena. All are bad people or would rather see me dead.

But what about the people you love? Grover, Thalia, Nico, Rachel, Clarisse, Dad, Mom, Stu, Martha, Leeman, Dave, Sarah, Tyson. Annabeth. All people I love and people that love me.

But where are they right now? They aren't here for you.

Thalia is with the hunters. Nico is in the Underworld. Grover is busy being Lord of the Wild. Rachel is the Oracle. Clarisse is still head of the Ares cabin. Dad isn't allowed to see me because of the ancient law. Tyson is under water in the forges. Mom is working. Stu, Martha, Dave, Leeman, and Sarah are all in school still. Annabeth is in California.

They arent here for you. They never were. Why do you keep making excuses for them?

Because I love them and they love me.

Really is that true? Thalia made fun of you, you hated Annabeth and she hated you. How do you know she doesn't? Grover was just out to watch you from the start. Rachel isn't allowed to love anyone if she's the oracle. Clarisse made fun of you. Dad never helped you. Mom is always at work to avoid you. Stu, Martha, Dave, Leeman, amd Sarah have never even asked to hang out somewhere other than school. They don't trust you. How can they love you if they don't trust you?

... I couldn't think of a response.

See. I have a point. Now, do it.

I won't let you! Don't do it!

The two sides of my brain argued as I watched the Swiss army blade quiver in my hand. One flick and its over. One flick.

But I can't do it. I don't have the strength.

Then i'll do it. The dark side of Perseus Jackson took over. The hand holding the blade stopped shaking. I held the knife up to my throat. Quickly, I glanced at the letter lying on my dresser. As I was about to flick my wrist and end it, I heard sirens. They were coming here.

Stupid Nico. I bet he could tell what I was about to do. Or Grover because of our empathy link. And either one of them called the police and now they've come to stop me. It's too late though.

I closed my eyes to prepare myself. I heard a knock on my locked bedroom door.

"Percy! Percy stop! Please unlock this door! Please come out!" My mom's voice. She came too?

"Don't do it man!" Nico called. That little tattletale.

"Seaweed Brain, what are you doing now?" Annabeth too?! Maybe I've gone crazy. I'm ending it.

"I'm sorry everyone. I have to do it. Tell who ever isn't out there I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you but I have no choice. Good bye. I'll see you in Elysium," I sobbed.

Tears running down my cheeks, I held the blade to my throat. I heard Annabeth yell something about shadow travel as I flicked my wrist and sllt my throat. As I fell backwards to the cold floor, I saw one last glimpse of princess curls and gray eyes filled with tears.

"Elysium," I breathed out. "Waiting..."

As I took my last breath, I realized that maybe I wouldt have died in vain. Maybe I'll be an example. Don't tease kids. Don't be a bully. Don't make fun of people's problems. And maybe, just maybe, everyone will live to at least 20 years old. Just maybe.