This ties in with "You Make Me Real," if you haven't read it, check it out! xo

Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames;

And what do I get, for my pain?

Betrayed desires and a piece of the game.

I wasn't dumb, I knew I wasn't. I was damn good at math and a knew a lot about a lot of things. I just wasn't always focused.

Tim didn't seem to agree. He must have called me stupid fifteen times in our two-minute phone call. If he hadn't agreed to bail me out it would have been a complete waste to my one phone call I was given.

Officer Riley put me in the holding cell. It wasn't a bad place to stay a night but the bed was disgusting. Doubtful they ever washed the damn thing and the amount of drunks that had been locked up in here made it permanently smell of a mixture of vomit and piss. Overall, it wasn't horrible.

I was brought in for stealing cash from the drug stores register. I had sent the old man to the back to get something I couldn't find on the shelves but I had lifted the money quickly enough. He was back before I could even steal more than a twenty.

I wasn't armed and I didn't put up a fight with the fuzz when they found me, Officer Riley said that was the only reason he didn't throw me in the cooler with the rest of those punks. He said I was trouble and I needed to stop causing shit. Maybe he was right, I didn't care.

Tim had asked me to take everything, to take all the cash that old man got. I felt pretty bad about it to start with, he was old and defensless. He was also always real nice to me when I came in. I liked that he didn't judge too quick. But Tims order was an order. Then Nancy had gotten into my brain and made me slow and flustered. I couldn't manage to focus right.

She called me before I left the house, crying. She said something was wrong, that she was shaky and she didn't feel right. That wouldn't have been a problem if the cause wasn't drugs. Nancy told me she had took too much, that it hurt and I was worried. I picked her up, dropped her off at the hospital and while she was getting checked out I had planned to lift the store. Then, I would be back in time to see if she was fine. That didn't appear to be happening. These four walls didn't seem to be moving for me anytime soon.

I hated drugs - I hated people that did drugs. Nancy was always a little too mean, a little too cruel but drugs made her worse. They made her nasty, especially when she couldn't get or fix or it wasn't as good of a high as she had wanted. I had chased Nancy for years, I had wanted her since I saw her. She had long legs, tan skin, and a pretty face. All the perks started to diminish as she turned into a complete mess. I was trying to help her, trying to get her to stop but I couldn't help her if she didn't want to change and Nancy didn't.

I thought about cutting her loose but it seemed wrong. She wasn't herself, I told myself whenever thoughts of breaking it off arised.

I couldn't do this shit, though. Always worrying about where the hell she is, if she was safe and what drugs she was doing. I couldn't keep wondering if I would get a call to drag her ass to the hospital in the middle of the night. There's a point, I was starting to realize, where you have to stop and put yourself first.

Tim took his god forsaken time coming to bail me out, he knew it too. He smirked at me when he peered into my cell. I rolled my eyes.

He wasn't smirking when I was released. Tim had gone to complete seriousness, his voice hold the same tone it had on the phone.

"You're an idiot," Tim yelled once we were outdoors. I wasn't listening too much. I was paying attention to how fucking beautiful it smelt outside. The stench of that cell should be illegal.

"I'm serious, Curly. That was a simple task and you fucked it up. Ricky could have done that."

Ricky was fourteen and didn't have a clue for nothing. I rolled my eyes again, out of Tims sights. Tim needed to calm down. I hadn't done much damage, theft of twenty bucks was a petty crime and nobody would assume that was gang related.

"That's what you think," Tim said gruffly. "But ya gotta be careful..."

He went on and I couldn't bring myself to give a flying shit about what he was saying. I wasn't dumb and I knew that. I was sure I wasn't dumb.

Tim dropped me off at the hospital. I hadn't been too long, maybe four hours. It was my best guess she was still here.

"Nancy Reynolds?" The nurse of the desk said. "She was released thirty minutes ago. A boy named Johnny picked her up."

I only knew two Johnnys. One was dead and the other one was probably better off that way.

Johnny Rogers was a Grade A asshole. He had no respect or concept of what being a good person was. He hung around the same crowd but I hated him.

Johnny wouldn't go to his house with her but he would go to Bucks.

Bucks was a fifteen minute walk. Steven only lived a block from here. I forked up enough coins from scrimmaging around in my pockets to use the payphone. Not too long after, Steven pulled up to the curb.

"Get in."

My assumptions were right, I watched them stroll down the staircase as if they didn't have a care in the world. His fucking shirt was inside out and her hair and clothes were astray. This was not okay - this was not alright. Drugs were screwed up, wrong, but I had stuck by her - trying to get her better. I didn't deserve this. Shit, I didn't have to put up with this.

I pushed through everyone in my path so I could greet them at the end of the stairs.

Johnny smirked, I never expected him to feel sorry.

"I see you're feelin' better, Nancy."

She smiled. She fucking smiled. "Just a bad high. Doc said it was nothin'."

I nodded, hands stuffed into my pockets. "Its great to see you're okay, okay enough to fuck Johnny over here."

"She was quite an easy lay, Curl," Johnny is testing my patience. "you must not be takin' good care of her."

I saw red. I didn't give a shit that I was surrounded by people and had only got out of the station forty minutes ago- I socked the fuck right in the nose. It made a cracking nose that was pleasing to my ears. Blood poured viciously.

Steven was at my side in a second. I didn't need his help, I could take this loser - but I appreciated the support.

"Dumb hood." Johnny cursed and he was on me in a second.

I wasn't dumb when I beat his ass to a pulp. Angela had thrown better, more painful punches. She had once knocked out a tooth of mine. Right in the back. Johnny was nothing.

"Baby," Nancy cooed. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I shook her off, giving her a deathly look.

"I put up with all your crap, all your hell," I was seething mad. "I'm not putting up with this. Fuck you, Nancy."

She started to cry. I didn't turn around. Stevens arm was thrown over my shoulder this time.

"You ain't dumb," Steven said. "She lost a good man."

Steven was just trying to be a good friend, cheer me up but it was something I needed to hear.

"Thanks, Steve."

Steven bought me a beer and drove me home. Nobody was home and I was relieved. Dealing with Mike's bull or Angel's whining would not be what I needed right now.

I stepped into my room, there was pictures of her all over it, her stuff was everywhere. I didn't want it in my room; I didn't want to see it.

I picked it all up in a bundle and threw all her shit out my bedroom window. It wasn't the smartest idea, tomorrow I would have to go out there and get it. I didn't care.

Oh well.

I woke up in the morning to banging on my door.

"Curly what is all that crap in the yard?"

I didn't even bother to roll over for Angela.

"That would be Nancy's crap. Throw it away would ya?"

Surprisingly, she didn't question it. Sometimes Angel was a real pain in the ass, sometimes she did stuff that made me wonder. When I headed into the yard later to get the truck it was all gone.

Thank god.