iKoffeeholic's Word:

I love you guys a lot, but school comes first! Well, school's actually imaginary while fanfiction isn't, so FF comes first. I'm confused… Anyway, I'm glad to be back after a long unannounced hiatus. And just know this: I'm not holding my stories hostage for reviews. That's not Koffeeholic.

Writer's block is so infectious… *cough*

PCKAPA CH7

The next morning washed over Sasuke, and he still hadn't separated himself from the bathroom floor. Groggy, he tried to lift his head, but discovered that his tears and morning-breath scented saliva had glued his cheek to the tile. With some effort, he managed to pry himself loose and stand up.

The mirror greeted him with an unsightly reflection of himself. His hair was mussed. His eyes were bloodshot and accented with heavy circles. There was even a crusted cluster of boogers under his nose.

He looked awful.

Sasuke thumbed on the faucet and splashed his face with cold water. He wanted to wash away what the mirror presented him with. That was not Sasuke Uchiha at all. It couldn't be. How on Earth could he be torn apart by something as simple as love? But love, as he now knew, wasn't simple.

The cold water stung his eyes and ran down his chin. The crust in his eyes melted away, making it easier to blink. He forced himself to focus on his reflection. He couldn't take it.

He ran out of the bathroom and attacked the couch.

"Screw Suigetsu," he hissed as he threw a pillow, which flew out of the open window. "Screw Sakura," he hissed as he hurled another at his bed. "SCREW EVERYONE I'VE SCREWED!" he shouted. He buried his head into the last pillow on the couch to muffle his ranting. "AND SCREW NARUTO TOO!"

There was a knock on the suite door. A sweet female voice cooed, "Room service. Need your room cleaned?"

"DON'T DISTURB!" Sasuke shouted back.

PCKAPA CH7

"Get up, Ru-ru! I made a special hangover breakfast for you!" a sing-song syrupy voice called from downstairs. It pierced Naruto's ears and made him cringe in pain. The night before, he ambled across town to visit his cousin Deidara, who offered him a place to stay if the couch in Sasuke's suite ever proved to be unsuitable.

"Okay, Dei…" Naruto croaked, his voice raspy. "I'm getting' up…"

He rolled off the soft covers of the bed and hit the carpet with a gentle thud. A gentle thud it was, but it made his head ache worse. He rubbed the crustiness out of his eyes and stared forward. A messy-haired, sweat-stained, red-eyed blonde was sitting down staring back at him. What had happened, and whose fault was it?

Naruto stood up and examined himself from head to toe in the mirror. He felt dizzy, groggy, and of course nauseously hung-over. He groped the corner of the dresser and pulled himself toward the bathroom to clean himself up.

The lid of the toilet was already up, and his bladder was begging to be emptied. He pulled out Little Naruto and relieved himself. The crown on his member's head glinted in the sunlight streaming in from the window.

'They call this piercing a good luck charm? Good luck my ass…'

As he splashed water on his face at the sink, he tried to steer his thoughts away from the raven he abandoned at the Mahalo.

'I knew I shouldn't have come here with Sasuke,' he mentally groaned as he brushed away the bitter taste of alcohol from his tongue. Then he took a towel and wiped his armpits for good measure.

He bounced down the stairs to join Deidara for breakfast. The older blonde was humming a gentle tune as he moved in and out of the kitchen to set a table on an open back porch. Naruto's nose took in the smell of freshly fried bacon, cheesy eggs, and what he recognised as Deidara's signature syrupy pancakes.

"Geez, Dei-chan. I thought by know you'd know that people prefer to pour their own syrup over pancakes," Naruto said.

Deidara sighed and rolled his eyes. "Just enjoy the view from my lanai and eat, Ru-ru." He cast off his frilly pink apron and began to help himself to a pancake.

"I'm not five years old anymore, Dei-dei!" Naruto hissed. "Don't call me that!" Naruto obeyed and pulled up a beach chair. When he took a bite of one of Deidara's pancakes, he experienced a strange, yet sweet flavour spread across his tongue. "What kind of pancakes are these?"

"You don't like 'em?"

"I do! But they have this weird taste to them? Kinda pineapple-ish maybe?"

Deidara threw back his hair and grinned. "They're my adorable light cottage cheese and Hawaiian pineapple mini quinoa hotcakes drizzled with delicious and dazzlin' coconut syrup."

Naruto rolled his eyes at the long string of words that hit his ears. "Dei, you could just call them pineapple pancakes. No need to be extra cute."

"Says you, Ru-ru," Deidara said after he smacked his lips. As he stuffed his face with a few strips of bacon, he started to pull Naruto into light breakfast conversation. "So how's life back in Konoha?"

"Decent. I almost dropped out of university but I managed to graduate. I've got a job at the gym cleaning pools and life-guarding. Killer Bee might let me move up to swim coaching if I stick around long enough."

"So you're getting around well without a translator?"

"There's plenty of Asians that speak some Japanese around here. Sheesh!"

"And how's the Mahalo? I hear it's heavenly."

"It's amazing! There's this awesome buffet with all sorts of delicious food"—Naruto swallowed the last piece of bacon on his plate and reach for more—"And there's a giant fountain in the lobby, glass elevator, fish tank walls with pretty fish all around, and there's even a game room and an indoor pool!"

Deidara raised a confused-looking and neatly-plucked eyebrow. "I thought there was a spa and a gym. Plenty of sexy guys walking around if you know what I mean…" The other eyebrow jumped up to join the left one as his smile pushed it upward.

"Oh Dei, you haven't changed at all."

The older blonde rolled his eyes again. "Now tell me how you got here. I can barely afford a trip home on my salary, un!" he demanded to know, forking fluffy eggs into his mouth.

Naruto didn't want to mention, let alone think, about Sasuke. But he knew if he kept quiet, his cousin would keep poking until he got something out of him. He let out a sigh. "Sasuke's girlfriend cheated on him and he had an extra ticket, so he called me. I kinda regret coming."

Deidara's blue eyes sparkled with concern. "What happened between you too?"

"Sasuke made me sleep on the couch. I didn't mind that, but he didn't have to be a dick about it. I mean—he treated me like a dog! I tried to get him to like me…"

"And how'd you go about that?" Deidara asked with a pout.

Naruto lowered his gaze to his plate, which was cleaned except for the gleam of coconut syrup and bacon grease. "I…I got in the shower with him and tried to seduce him…" he said as if it were a question.

"Now Naruto, even I'd call that a stupid move," Deidara chided. "The man just got out of a relationship. And is he even gay?"

"Gay with bi-tendencies, but I guess he likes guys more." Naruto felt guilty. Telling his cousin about the other things he did would land him a drawn out, bedazzled lecture about love.

"Was that why he kicked you out?"

Naruto let his nose touch the plate. "No…"

"Then what did you do?" Deidara asked, his face drenched with worry.

"I didn't do anything really," Naruto sighed as he propped up his head with hands. "It just looked like it. There's this cute shark-toothed guy at the Mahalo named Keanu. He found Sasuke's wallet in the spa's locker room and gave it to me when he caught me at the buffet. I stuck it in my pocket and walked into town for some fun. I met you then went to a bar. That's where all hell broke loose."

The ghost of a gasp hung on Deidara's lips when Naruto paused.

"I just went in for a few drinks with the money you gave me, and this biker gang started a fight when I went to the toilet. Everybody else left the bar already. So I trip over this guy's foot, and he thinks I'm causin' trouble. Sasuke's wallet slips out my pocket and slides across the floor to his buddy, and he opens it and takes a few dollars out. And I'm like, 'Hey! That's not yours!' And he was like, 'It's in my hand. Of course it's mine, you over-tatted faggot!' I got up to snatch it from him, but the guy I tripped over stabbed a metal skewer in my leg. I was limping past some police cars, and it kinda went fuzzy after that, but I know I came back with Sasuke's wallet."

"You poor thing! You need to go the hospital!" Deidara cried. "And then the police!"

"It's fine. Doesn't hurt that much, Dei." The younger blonde turned toward the breeze blowing in from the Pacific. It was as if the sun had salted the waves of the ocean with diamonds that morning. "But I was too drunk to tell Sasuke, I guess. I think I told him I got a tattoo, but he thinks I stole money from him when I didn't. He yelled at me and kicked me out. I feel like shit!" He wiped a threatening tear from the corner of his eye.

Deidara excused himself from the table and returned with a shimmering pineapple-shaped purse. "Ru-ru, you need this more than I do," the older blonde said.

"Dei! I don't need any of your fashion tips right now."

"Un! I don't mean the purse, silly," he teased. He unzipped the pineapple and pulled out crisp banknotes. "Now remember, money can't buy love, but it sure as hell can repair a friendship!"

Naruto was hesitant to take it. "But Dei, you don't have to—"

"Take it and give it to Sasuke."

"He's an Uchiha!"

"And?! He'll probably give double that back as a birthday present this year," Deidara sassed back. "I dated his brother and he almost bought me a car! But I settled for diamonds instead." His lips curled into a nostalgic smirk.

Finally, Naruto gave in and tucked the money in the pocket of his board shorts. "Thanks Dei."

"Always welcome, Ru-ru." Deidara dropped the pineapple purse in a cushioned chair. Then he and Naruto cleared the dishes of the table and went back to gazing at the view from the lanai.

Deidara slung his hair over the back of his straw chair. "So what else are you gonna do while you're here?"

"You know what? I might go surfing today," Naruto said. "It's been so long since I've caught any waves."

His cousin gave a little laugh and scrunched up his nose. "If sharks can smell blood underwater, I'm sure they can smell underarm funk, too. You might wanna shower before you go anywhere. Take anything you want from my closet." He placed a friendly kiss on Naruto's whiskered cheek. "And be sure to wash off your breakfast!"

PCKAPA CH7

Naruto showered, dressed in Deidara's simplest and orangest clothing, and headed down to a beach on the other side of town. He found a cheap surfboard rental with translation help from a white-haired woman and went on a hunt for a good spot to surf. Most of the places he spotted were swamped with screaming children and beachside yoga classes. Naruto wanted something quieter.

The wind carried an awkward howl that day. It sounded as if it was calling his name.

"NARUTO!" he heard far off into the distance. "NARUTO!"

The blonde turned toward the sound. "Keanu?" he dropped his board in the sand and wrapped his arms around the white-haired man. He was so happy to see him after all the craziness that happened to him since yesterday.

"I didn't know you surfed!" Keanu broke the hug and signalled to a white haired woman a few meters away. "Mom, over here!" The woman made her way over and slung her arm around Keanu. "Mom can you translate for me?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Your friend speaks Japanese, Kee-kee? Oh, he's so cute."

"Don't call me Kee-Kee, Mom!" Keanu whined annoyed and blushing. "Naruto, this is my mom—and translator." Keanu's mom smiled and greeted Naruto in their native language. Naruto returned her warmth and kindness. He immediately found her sweet, like his own mother.

"Did you give Sasuke his wallet back?" Suigetsu asked, and his mom asked the same.

"Yeah, he got it back," Naruto said, looking down at his toes in the sand.

Keanu cocked his head to the side. "What's the matter, Naruto?"

But Naruto heard Keanu's mom add on, "Who is this Sasuke?" to which he replied, "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, seriously. And Sasuke's just a friend of ours." He flashed a fake smile to ease their concerns.

"Well, enjoy your surf, Naruto-san," Keanu's mom said.

The white-haired mother and son cheerfully waved Naruto goodbye.

Naruto picked up his board and walked further down the beach. At last he found a spot that was nearly void of loud tourists. He gazed out to sea and spotted exactly the rolling waves he wanted to catch. He paddled his board into the vast blue and latched himself onto the crest of the wave. The coldness of the water mixing with nostalgia chilled him to the bone as he tried to push himself off the board into a standing position. When his toes were finally hanging over the edge of the orange board, the biggest grin settled between his whiskers.

"I'M KING OF THE WAVES!" he shouted, riding through a tunnel of water. As Naruto glided off the wave, the nose of his board jumped out of the water. Another wave came to take him, so ignored it and surfed on. Then the sun shone through the wave. Was that Naruto's shadow?

The shadow bumped Naruto's board and pushed it off the wave. The sudden surprise made Naruto lose his balance, but he didn't completely waver. He tensed and bent his knees. The tourists on the shore must've seen; a few screams reached Naruto's ears.

'Oh shit. Don't tell me I'm surfing with—'

His thought was interrupted by the Pacific flooding into his mouth and ears. The sky became a blurry ebb and flow, and the surfboard tumbled over his head. That shadow that hit it most certainly had fins.

iKoffeeholic's Word:

Glad you got that far! I'm so sorry to tell you that this story has about 4 more chapters till finish (may include epilogue).