Off to Be a Wizard

Ms. Morrible was in the throne room with Bill-Gideon (Bideon), whose eyes were yellow and had vertical slits if one looked closely.

"Well, I thought it went quite well! They seem thrilled to shreds with their brains and their hearts, and this and that..." said Morrible.

"That was fun," said Bideon. "But things are about to get boring for this host body, so I'll be leaving for now. I'll be back some day... I have big plans for Gravity Falls! I've been influencing things around here for a long time. You know, I'm made mostly of yellow brick!"

Gideon went limp for a moment, then shuddered.

"Your Adoreableness, are you back in control?" asked Morrible.

"Yes, but Ah feel awful," said Gideon. He groaned and put his head in his hands.

Pacifica entered.

"Oh, Miss Pacifica! I thought you'd be out festivating," said Morrible.

Pacifica held out a green bottle. "This was Mabelphaba's."

"What's that you say?" asked Gideon.

"It was a keepsake. It was her mother's. She told me so herself. I've only seen a little green bottle like this one other time. It was right here, in this very room. You offered me a drink from it, and said it came from Stan Pines."

"What does it mean?" asked Gideon.

"It means you tricked Mabelphaba into enchanting her own father into a monster," said Pacifica.

Morrible said, "So that was it. That's why she had such powers! She was a child of someone who lived in high-magic Gravity Falls and the outside world."

"Ah don't care about that," said Gideon. "She's dead... All because Ah made a stupid deal with a demon."

Gideon sang:
"Ah am a sentimental man
Who always longed to be...
A lover..."

"She'll never be mah marshmallow now. Ah give up. Ah don't care about anything anymore." Gideon began to cry.

Pacifica said, "Then you won't mind that I got the video tape footage taken by your spy buttons and turned it over to the police."

Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland entered.

Blubs said, "Lil' Gideon, you are under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, and breaking our hearts. Durland? The tiny handcuffs."

The heartbroken Gideon surrendered without a fuss.

"Arrest Ms. Morrible too," said Pacifica. "She's his partner in crime."

"Yes, Pacifica," said Blubs, and Durland got out handcuffs for Morrible as well.

"What about Pacifica?" said Morrible. "She just as much an accomplice as I am."

"She's the one who found the evidence of Gideon's fraud, and turned it over to us," said Blubbs. "As far as I can see, she's perfectly innocent."

"Yeah, she's Pacifica the Perfect," said Durland.

"Ms. Morrible, have you ever considered how you'd fare in captivity?" asked Pacifica. "Personally, I don't think you'll hold up very well. My professional opinion is that you do not have what it takes. I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will. Take her away!"

Morrible cried "No!"

The citizens sang:
"Good news!
She's dead!
The Wacky Witch is dead!
The wackiest witch in Gravity Falls
The weirdest one anyone here recalls, is dead!
Good news!
Good news!"

The Scarecrow went down to the first level of Mabelphaba's lair, and knocked on the door of the elevator leading down to the portal level.

The elevator opened and Mabelphaba came out. She gave him a quick hug.

"Gabero! I thought you'd never get here. Come on down. Wendoq is already here, and she brought Waddles."

"Our performance seems to have gone over well," said Gabero. "L'il Gideon was heartbroken over your death. He admitted his fraud and is now in prison."

"Yay!" said Mabelphaba. "But sorry about making you a Scarecrow."

"Never mind," said Gabero. "You saved my life. And you did what you promised: I can now move a puppet with my mind."

"What about Bee and Book?" asked Mabelphaba.

Gabero fished in the pockets of his scarecrow suit and produced the puppets. He put them on his hands.

"Hi Mabelphaba!" said Bee.

"Gabero got us off his old body once the demon was gone," said Book.

They descended in the elevator to where the others were, on the portal level.

The Tin Woodswoman said, "I made a deal with you to attack with water, since you promised to try to get my real body back. But I still don't get how it worked."

Mabelphaba said, "There's another copy machine down here like the one Gideon took to make the Winged Grunkles. But most people don't know the copier clones melt in water. I found out because one day I spilled Mabelphaba juice on one of the Grunkles by accident."

"A paper clone... I get it now," said Wendoq.

"The only thing that didn't go right was that I never got those ruby sneakers back," said Mabelphaba.

"Why did you want them so much?" asked Gabero.

"For Dippa. I had to put them on his paper clone. Tyrone had to be able to walk around to be a realistic target," said Mabelphaba.

"Then Dippa is..." said Gabero.

Dipparose wheeled forward from the back of the crowd of Winged Grunkles. "I'm all right, even though I'm wheelchair bound again."

Wendoq said, "Dippa, you're better off than you deserve. You nearly killed me with that stupid heart spell."

"I know, and I'm sorry," said Dipparose. "I shouldn't have tried to keep you from Robbie."

"I forgive you, if your sister can put me back to normal," said Wendoq. "What about you? Can't Mabelphaba just cast the shoe spell again?"

"Mabbie can't cast another Mobility Shoe spell while the other pair exists in this world."

"I have a solution for that," said Mabelphaba. "All these spells can't be undone in this world, but I hope they can in a different world."

"A different world?" asked Gabero.

"Yep, I got the portal working. It opens to different dimensions, and I found a good one. It's got talking animals, magic, and candy. We're going now. It'll be a great adventure time for us."

"Fascinating," said Gabero.

"We'll stay for a year, and then the Winged Grunkle clones will re-open the portal for us. You can come too, and I'll see if I can restore you to a human body."

"No thank you," said Gabero. "I love this puppet one. Besides, Pacifica has offered for me to be the new Mayor of Gravity Falls."

"She's taking the place of the Psychic, so she'll be the real one in charge," said Mabelphaba. "You'll just be a puppet ruler."

"I know," said Gabero. "What could be better?" He hummed "Puppeting through life."

"All right, if you're staying, you can take her a message. She deserves to know I'm still alive. I hope, when I get back, that we can join forces against Bill Cipher... and in other ways."

Mabelphaba sang:
"Tell her I'm still defying Gravity
Falls, but I will come back and have a tea...
We'll try a second round."

"When do we leave for the other world?" asked Dippa.

He sang:
"I know I would be happy,
I'd even be toe-tappy,
I'd run around the block.
I'd be fast, I'd be fleeting,
If I could go two-feeting,
If only I could walk."

Wendoq added in song, "If I only had a bod."

The original Grunkle Stan added, haltingly, "If only... I... could talk. And not... have wings."

"Let's go right now," said Mabelphaba. "In this new world I won't be a Wacky Witch. I'll be a Wizard."

The Portal opened, and the Winged Grunkles lifted the dimensional travelers through one by one.

Mabelphaba sang,
"I'm off to be a Wizard
In this wonderful new world of ours."

The others chorused:
"She is, she is a wonderful Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever a wonderful Wiz there was,
Mabelphaba is one because
Because, because, because, because, because!
Because of the wonderful things she does!"

"She's off to be a Wizard
In this wonderful new world of ours!"

The End.