Holding Your Breath 4/4

Author: dettiot

Rating: T for now

Summary: Felicity Smoak's newest book is called Invading the Treehouse: Why Women Are Needed in Technology. Oliver Queen's first book is The Frat Boy Way: Life and Women According to the World's Most Successful Frat Boy's Twitter Account. These two authors should have nothing in common except their publisher . . . but that's not at all accurate. Publishing/writer!AU Olicity.

Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's Note: There's so much to say, but I'll hold back on most of it until the end of this chapter. But what needs to be said first and foremost is how appreciative and grateful I am to have so many people reading this fic! It's thanks to the warm welcome that I'm so eager to keep going with this version of Felicity and Oliver.

XXX

On-Site Reporter: Tonight's event, sponsored by their publisher Ex Astris, was the first time Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak met each other. What do these two authors think of each other?

[shot of Oliver and Felicity standing next to each other]

Felicity Smoak: Oh . . . I think everyone feels like they know Oliver Queen, because he's just everywhere here in Starling City and you can't escape him, not that I would want to escape-but, but reading his book was a really eye-opening experience for me and made me feel like I was getting to know a different side of him. It was . . . surprising. Nice. Surprisingly nice.

Oliver Queen: I'm really lucky to have gotten to meet Felicity tonight. Not just 'cause she's an attractive, funny woman, but because she's a really talented author and a credit to Starling City and our publisher. So here's to many more joint signings!

XXX

Laurel was more right than she realized, Felicity thought as she admired her feet for not the first time that night. High heels were so much better than a feather.

Because how else could she explain how tonight had gone?

It could only be thanks to her magic shoes that Oliver freaking Queen had not taken one look at her and laughed at her attempts to be part of the beautiful people crowd, even if it was just for one night. The shoes were the only explanation for how she had managed to act like a grown-up, managed to fit in . . . managed to hold her liquor!

Although at this point she should really slow down. Because even though wine wasn't exactly body shots, she'd had enough glasses to inch closer from falling from Tipsy Cliff into Drunk Valley.

Giggling a little, Felicity took a sip of the very good wine she had been enjoying all night, smiling as she moved away from a group of people towards the large windows that looked out over Starling City. She felt like she had just discovered the Internet. That was how good her night was going.

Oliver's coaching had let her get through the interviews better than she had thought. Why hadn't she learned this kind of skill earlier? Or gotten some kind of coaching from Laurel-this was the kind of thing an agent should do, she thought.

"They're gonna ask you the same kind of questions over and over, so just figure out an answer and keep repeating it. Change a word here and there, use some different phrases, but stick to the same thing," he had told her, before demonstrating exactly that in his own interviews. It was really impressive, how he managed to keep giving the same answer every time, but no one seemed to realize it. Maybe it was because he was so damn charming.

Her cheeks went pink and she took a tiny sip of her wine. Thinking about how charming Oliver Queen was made her immediately flash back to their shared interview with Channel 52 News. It had been the last one and she had been surprised by how well it was going. But then, the pretty reporter gave Felicity a big smile and asked her to comment on Mr. Queen. On what it had been like to meet him.

Whatever she had said, she couldn't really remember it. There had just been babble, flowing out and making the reporter's eyes go wide in that way Felicity was so used to seeing. That 'somebody get me out of here' way.

But not Oliver's. No, he hadn't looked bored or annoyed or frustrated, like so many people did. He almost looked . . . amused? There was something else in his expression as she had talked, something she couldn't identify, but there had definitely been amusement.

Giving herself a shake, Felicity started making her way towards the bar. She needed some water and some food. Needed to start preparing for the end of the evening, when she was just plain old Felicity Smoak again and her sparkly magic shoes became panda flats.

Oooh, panda flats sounded goooood right about now.

With a small smile, Felicity got herself some crudites and some water from the buffet. Staking out one of the high top tables, she nibbled and sipped as she looked around the room.

This was really the first time she had been alone all night. There had been the signings, then talking to the party planner and being introduced to Oliver. And for some reason, he had seemed to not mind hanging out with her. There had been small talk, a few embarrassing babbles, and then the interviews. And after that, Oliver had gotten them both drinks and they had . . . talked.

Even now, she wanted to pinch herself. She had carried on an actual conversation with Oliver Queen! And it wasn't just small talk, but about things that actually mattered, like wine and music and writing.

That was what had surprised her: Oliver asked her a question about writing. And he listened to her answer, acting like he was really thinking about what she was saying.

Felicity crunched loudly on a carrot, feeling vindicated. She knew that Oliver Queen had talent, she knew it! Seeing how he was interested in learning made her think he really wanted to live up to his potential. That he believed that he could be more, just like she did.

Unfortunately, their conversation had only lasted about twenty minutes before Tommy had appeared, claiming that Oliver couldn't monopolize Felicity all night, since she was the belle of the ball. That had made her laugh a little, because if anyone was a belle, it was Oliver. Not that he was the main female character in a Disney movie about learning to look beyond appearances . . .

Why was she thinking so much about fairy tales tonight? It had to be her shoes.

Taking a quick look at her feet and admiring yet again what the heels did for her legs, Felicity looked around and spotted Oliver at the far side of the room. He was talking to a blonde woman, smiling at her and clearly charming her. Felicity caught Oliver's eye and couldn't help giving him a small grin and a little wave.

Even though it was just for tonight, it was kind of nice to feel like Oliver Queen was her friend. So she wasn't expecting to see Oliver stiffen before turning to the blonde and kissing her passionately.

Her whole body felt numb. Her feet didn't hurt any more, her hand wasn't wet from the condensation on her water glass, nothing. There was nothing. Because . . . because in one moment, Oliver Queen had reminded her, more cruelly and simply than should be possible, of the differences between the kind of people they really were.

She was the IT nerd and he was the frat boy. And anything that made her feel differently had just been in her imagination.

And now, it was time to wake up and go home.

Turning away from the table, Felicity picked up her clutch and started walking to the door. People tried to draw her into conversations, tried to ask her questions, but she just shook her head and made her apologies. Normally, she would have branded such behavior unbelievably rude, especially to fans, but she . . . she had to get away.

Get away from how wrong she had been.

XXX

There had been plenty of times over the years when Oliver had played dumb. Claimed to not know why he had done the latest in a string of self-destructive acts. And yeah, in some cases he really didn't know why he did such stupid shit. Like taking a leggy brunette with klepto issues into Starling's most exclusive boutiques and watching her shoplift her way to ruin. Or challenging that preppy asshole from Gotham to a drag race, only to crash his Maserati into a tree when he had gotten distracted by his co-pilot, a hot redhead with wandering hands.

But other times? He knew exactly what he was doing. So when Felicity gave him a cute little wave and a light-the-room-up smile, he knew why his reaction was to start macking on Sara.

It was a warning for her. Steer clear of Oliver Queen if you wanted to be happy.

Because spending time with Felicity was kind of addicting. No, just addicting, he corrected as he drove home. Sara and he had made a quick exit from the party and went straight to the nearest hotel, but there had been no reason to stay longer after they were finished. And now that he didn't have any distractions, his mind kept returning to Felicity.

She was just so damn hopeful. The optimism and enthusiasm bubbled out of her when she got started on something, whether it was wine or the weather or just anything. And if Felicity believed in you, then she seemed to know how to knock you down a peg, but in that nice way. The way that made you feel like she was doing it for your own good, to make you a better person.

Even though spending time with Felicity could be good for him, he didn't think it'd be good for her. He'd seen the insecurity in her. How she stood out in a room full of Starling City's important people. How quickly she'd latched on to anyone who showed interest in her. Like him.

The world as a whole wasn't built for people like her. And the society that he moved in would chew her up and spit her out. So it was better to just push her back to where she felt safe before that happened.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of the pocket of his jacket. It was a text from Tommy.

hot nerd left same time u did. you tappin that or what?

For a split-second, his hand tightened around the phone. Tommy had upgraded Felicity from 'uptight teacher' to 'hot nerd' during the course of the evening, but seeing him use those words to describe her, and following it up with the blunt question that he had asked Oliver a hundred times before . . .

He punched the keys. no went with sara. going home now.

Within a minute of sending the text, his phone rang.

"Hi, Tommy," Oliver said, trying to hide the weariness in his voice. Because he knew what was going to happen and he didn't really feel like dealing with it. But he knew Tommy wouldn't let this rest.

"You dog," Tommy said. He was probably grinning from ear-to-ear right now. "And here I thought you were gonna get some nerd love tonight."

Yeah, this conversation was going to go just like he thought it would. "Dunno where you got that idea."

Tommy let out a snort. "Ollie, you could barely keep your eyes off her. And you were, like, nice to her. The only other girl you treat that way is Thea."

"C'mon, she was like a kitten or something," Oliver said, trying to defend himself by latching on to any explanation that might throw Tommy off track. "Anyone could see she was overwhelmed."

"Uh-huh. And normally you'd take advantage of that-you'd have taken her home tonight. But hey, maybe you just want to turn over a new leaf. Blondes instead of brunettes."

If he hadn't needed one hand to drive and one hand to hold the phone, he'd rub his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Look, I'm nearly home and I'm wrecked."

"Okay, okay," Tommy said, sounding like he had finally figured out that Oliver didn't want to talk about this. "Rest up, 'cause tomorrow, we gotta start talking about Phuket. Isabel loves the idea, BTW, so she wants an outline ASAP."

Honestly, the whole Phuket idea didn't appeal much to Oliver. Writing Frat Boy Way had been a challenge, yeah, but did he really want to do the same thing over again? Not only was it kind of lazy, but it sounded boring. But Tommy wanted to do it, and . . . and maybe getting out of Starling for a while would be good.

But until he could leave, he wanted to do all he could to forget about tonight.

"Okay. But after we work, we're gonna play," Oliver said. "You up for that?"

Tommy snorted. "Dumb question, bro. Talk to you tomorrow."

Once he hung up his phone, Oliver tossed it into the passenger seat, letting out a sigh. He knew just how predictable he was being. Knew that he was playing into what everyone thought of him. But it was comfortable, living up to expectations. Easy. There was nothing wrong with easy. And why the fuck shouldn't he be exactly what people wanted?

So even though the appeal of being Ollie Queen didn't feel very appealing right now, screw it. He'd make it work.

He knew that Tommy and he could throw together enough to satisfy Isabel. The best weather in Phuket was already over, but celebrating the New Year in a tropical paradise sounded pretty awesome. So he'd just have to deal with this place for another month, and with Christmas coming up, it'd go quick.

For a moment, he considered telling Tommy they should leave before Christmas. But he didn't want to skip out on Thea and his mom for the holidays. So just another month and then he could be gone. Away from any chances he might run into Felicity Smoak.

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. Damn it. He didn't want to think about her, didn't want to remember how she looked when they had been talking about writing, how her hands kept gesturing and her lips kept moving, like all she wanted was for him to know everything she knew. Like she wanted him to get better. Be better. Maybe even as good as she was.

With a groan, Oliver stomped down on the accelerator. It was too late to be thinking like this. He needed sleep. A shower and then sleep, he thought, as a faint hint of perfume rose up from his shirt as he spun the wheel to turn into his family's driveway.

Perfume that he knew wasn't Sara's.

XXX

Starling City Tattler, December 12, 2007

Playboys on the Prowl!

[photo of Oliver and Tommy, grinning drunkenly at the camera]

Ollie Queen (L) and Tommy Merlyn (R) are certainly painting the town red and green. The two billionaire heirs are living it up during the holiday season, and there's many a girl who wishes for one-or both!-of these hunks to be under her tree come Christmas morning.

New York Times Best-seller List, December 16, 2007

Hardcover Nonfiction

#3: Invading the Treehouse: Why Women Are Needed in Technology by Felicity Smoak (Ex Astris)

Weeks on List: 3

Starling City Examiner, December 17, 2007

Amid Worrisome Reports, QC CEO Announces Trip to China (excerpt)

Robert Queen, the CEO of Queen Consolidated, announced last night at the annual Queen family holiday gala that he will be leaving for China shortly. He will be personally inspecting several QC factories, including those that are subject to complaints about safety and working conditions for laborers. "Whether they work in Chengdu or right here in Starling City, any employee of Queen Consolidated is entitled to the same protections under the law that ensure a safe workplace. If our partners in China aren't living up to that, it's my job as CEO to make them."

These reports come just after Oliver Queen has been arrested for driving under the influence for the third time. The young heir to QC is rumored to be traveling with his father in order to begin taking his place within the company.

Channel 7 Eye on Starling, December 17, 2007

Crime Watch

On-Air Anchor: And in local news, a prominent Starling City bookstore was vandalized early this morning. The front windows of Star Books were smashed and while no cash or merchandise were taken, several books were destroyed. The damage is estimated at $5000.

[shot of destroyed books, all of which happen to be written by Felicity Smoak]

XXX

Pulling her black peacoat closer to her body, Felicity walked up the steps to enter the Starling City Police Department's downtown station. The chill in the air was nothing compared to how she felt on the inside. Because ever since the joint book signing with Oliver Queen, her life had taken an unbelievable, unexpected turn.

The only bright spot had been the success of Treehouse. It was climbing the best-seller lists, she was getting invitations to speak at college campuses and to all kinds of organizations, and there was noise that the book might even come out in paperback next year. Felicity knew that meant her publisher was really, really happy with the sales.

But . . . but the success was making her life uncomfortable. In ways she had never anticipated.

There was the fact that when she went to the grocery store or to the library, she was photographed by paparazzi. The first time it had happened, she thought it was just a slow news day, especially since it occurred two days after the joint signing. But then it kept happening, and Laurel began receiving a lot of press requests. Invitations for Felicity to appear on talk shows and current event programs, newspapers and magazines wanting to interview her . . . It blew her mind that anyone thought it was a good idea to put her on TV and see how long she could babble, but from what Laurel had told her, everyone seemed to think she was 'adorable' and 'charming' and 'so smart'.

That was unsettling enough. But what was much, much worse was the reason she was at the police station, preparing to speak to Laurel's father.

Someone was making threats against her.

Apparently, that letter writer, the one who had prompted some worry in Laurel, was escalating their attacks, sending a constant barrage of letters and emails. Felicity's Twitter account and Facebook page were getting overwhelmed with insulting, threatening posts. And whoever it was, they had found her personal email address and had started sending her long, rambling, hate-filled messages. But when a local bookstore had been vandalized and only her books had been damaged, Felicity knew she had to do something.

If she had been worried before, Felicity was rapidly approaching scared. Because what if this person found out where she lived? Even before the bookstore attack, she had been concerned enough to talk to Laurel, who put her in touch with her father. Captain Lance of the SCPD had understood her concerns but told her that there was little the police could do at this point.

"We're overworked and understaffed, Miss Smoak, and cybercrimes are particularly tricky for us," he had explained when she had called him. "Until we have something that's more of a credible threat, something that gives us a place to start . . . you might just have to bear it as best you can."

Felicity hadn't liked that answer. Sure, she understood what he was saying, but that didn't mean she had to accept it. After all, she kind of knew her way around a computer. So even though she had resolved to put her hacking days behind her when she left MIT, Felicity went to work, brushing up on her skills to find the person who was trying to silence her.

It was a way to keep herself from getting terrified. And it almost distracted her from thinking about Oliver Queen.

Taking a deep breath, Felicity shook herself out of her thoughts and approached the receptionist, who directed her towards Quentin Lance's office. The captain was embroiled in what looked like a major chewing-out of three officers, so Felicity took a seat and waited, settling in her lap the folder of information she had collected on the letter writer. But with nothing to do, her thoughts went back to Oliver.

In Starling City, it wasn't easy to avoid Oliver Queen. He really was everywhere-or at least it seemed that way to Felicity. Every time she watched the news or picked up a paper, there he was: getting into trouble, grinning that cocky playboy smile at the camera.

She just didn't understand it. It didn't make any sense that one man could act so differently. Because at the signing, he had been . . . nice. Almost sweet, with the way he had helped her with her first on-camera interviews and how he had listened to her even when she found herself rambling about writing. Up until the moment she had waved at him and he had started kissing that girl.

Actually, it was more like he was mauling her with his lips. If rumors were anything to go by, Oliver Queen knew how to kiss and much, much more. And yeah, of course Felicity had wondered what it would be like if, for some crazy reason, he had chosen to kiss her, Felicity Smoak.

Maybe then she'd be able to figure out just who he was: Ollie or Oliver.

A sudden uptick in the noise level made Felicity look around, noticing several uniformed police officers dashing for the exits. At the same time, Captain Lance yanked open his office door and strode out, barking into a phone as he juggled a walkie-talkie and his coat.

"Captain Lance!" Felicity said, jumping to her feet and following after him. "We had a meeting?"

"Just a minute," he said into his phone, before turning to look at her with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry, Miss Smoak, but there's a hostage situation in the jewel district. Some whack job has a bunch of the high and mighty locked up in a jewelry store, and it'll be my head-not to mention the mayor's and a lotta other people's-if we don't take this guy out."

Felicity bit her lip, clutching her folder in front of her. "Of . . . of course. I'll reschedule our meeting."

He nodded and gave her a tight smile. "Be careful out there."

"You, too, Captain," she said, stepping back to let someone step up to talk with him. With a small sigh, Felicity slipped the folder into her bag and left the police station, feeling her shoulders slump as she stepped out into the twilight.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she tried to tell herself that everything was going to be okay. That soon she'd get to talk to Captain Lance and show him the evidence she had collected. Evidence that he could hopefully use. And then maybe-

Hands like iron gripped her shoulders and pushed her into an alley. Stumbling, Felicity tried to keep herself from falling, only for an explosion of pain in her lower back made her back arch and sent her falling to the dirty pavement. Another blow, this time on her stomach, made her curl into a ball, her arms trying to protect her torso and face.

But the blows kept coming, the hits and punches and kicks, and soon there was nothing she could do to protect herself.

XXX

"Oliver?"

He nearly groaned out loud as he pulled up short as his mother's voice drifted out of the lounge. He wasn't in the mood to deal with this. Ever since his latest DUI, he'd known Moira was worried about him. Hearing her concern and having to confront her disappointment was the last thing he wanted to do right now, not with a buzz on and all of Tommy's demands about the Phuket trip circling through his brain.

"Oliver, you heard your mother."

And he certainly didn't want to talk to his father. But that particular voice from Robert Queen meant he needed to get his ass in the lounge, right now. So Oliver moved past the large trees decorated with twinkling lights flanking the lounge's doorway and stood in front of his parents.

Robert and Moira Queen were presenting a united front. That wasn't good. Because Oliver was well-aware his father had cheated on his mother, multiple times. And his mother had never been the warm-and-fuzzy type, leaving most of the mothering in Raisa's capable hands. So sitting here together, sitting on the sofa next to each other . . .

"Is this about the DUI?" he asked, his hands buried in the pockets of his trousers. "I was barely over the limit, that cop just wanted to bust me-"

"Regardless, it was your third arrest. It took a large donation to the Policemen's Widows and Orphans Fund, not to mention a personal request to the Chief of Police, to ensure this went away, Oliver." Moira paused, her eyes looking sad. "You can't go on like this."

Quiet disappointment: his mother's most potent weapon. Even though he tried not to show it, keeping up the playboy act was tough in the face of that. "Mom . . ."

"I don't want to lose you," Moira said, standing up and wrapping her arms around him. "My beautiful boy."

His mother's favorite pet phrase for him, whispered softly into his ear, made Oliver melt. He hugged her back. "You're not going to lose me, Mom," he said before pulling back to look at her. "I was stupid, driving when I knew I had been drinking too much . . . I won't do it again."

"No, you won't."

The steel in his father's voice made Oliver tense. Made him want to dig his heels in, when he had been ready to go along with whatever his mother wanted. Once again, his parents were playing good cop-bad cop on him. Sticking to the same old roles they always played with him.

"Yeah, Dad? And how are you gonna make that happen?" Oliver asked, stepping away from his mother to loom over his father.

Robert looked up at him, not bothering to stand up. As if to say Oliver's attempt to dominate him was pointless, a bit of childish posturing.

"Simple. We will remove you from the environment that allows you keep making these mistakes." Robert sounded like he was talking about changing from coffee to tea, like this was nothing. And the thing was, this was nothing to one of the most powerful men in one of America's most powerful cities.

"Have you forgotten that I'm over twenty-one? You can't just send me off to boarding school like you used to when I pissed you off."

His father might have nearly thirty years on him, but he was strong. He came to his feet in a flash, getting into Oliver's face and wrapping a hand around his bicep in a grip of iron. "Yes, you're over twenty-one. Which means it's well past time for you to show a flicker of maturity. Some tiny shred of responsibility."

There was something in his father's voice, in his posture, that made Oliver take a step back, as much as he could with Robert's hand holding him in place. This wasn't the first time his father had taken this tack with him, wasn't the first time he had complained about Oliver's lack of ambition. But this time . . . something was different.

"I . . . I have. There's the book," Oliver said, feeling like he was grasping at straws. "I could-I could live off that, if you're telling me you're cutting me off."

Scoffing, Robert advanced on him. "You think it'll be that simple? We throw you out, you sink on your own? Unfortunately, although the idea is tempting, it's the last thing the company can afford."

"The company?" Oliver asked, knowing he sounded like an idiot.

"Yes, the company-what's made all your lifestyle with all its debauchery possible. And what will make you into an adult, finally," Robert said, almost screaming into his face.

"Robert, please!" Moira said, moving to put a hand on his arm and forcing him back from Oliver. "You'll wake Thea. And you said you'd keep your temper."

Oliver watched as his father took a few deep breaths, regaining his control. He was grateful for it, because he wasn't used to seeing his father this angry. Sure, he had been mad before at his only son, but this . . . this wasn't just anger. This was fury.

"Tomorrow afternoon, you and I will be boarding the Queen's Gambit and setting sail for China. You will accompany me on my tour of our Chinese factories, and we will spend that time discussing your future."

Swallowing, Oliver tried to gather his thoughts. "We-we won't be back before Christmas if we take the Gambit. Why can't we fly?"

"Your mother and I think you need time for reflection," Robert said, taking Moira's hand and tucking it into the crook of his elbow. Presenting that united front again.

He opened his mouth. He was ready to explain that he never wanted to be part of the company, that he thought he knew what he wanted. That he wanted to be an author, a real one, and he was ready to disappoint his best friend, ready to work harder than he ever had before, ready to do what his father had always wanted him to do: take a stand and become an adult.

But before he could start, his father locked eyes with Oliver. "If you don't do this, we will do something much worse than cutting you off financially." He paused, letting that sink in. "We will cut you off from Thea."

Oliver reared back, doing a double-take. He swallowed, feeling a lead weight settle in his stomach. "What?" he whispered, his eyes flicking back and forth between his parents' faces.

"Thea is reaching an impressionable age. And we don't want her to follow in the footsteps of the big brother she idolizes." Robert lifted his chin. "If you do not agree to come on this trip and seriously reconsider your choices, we will block you from having any access to Thea. You won't be permitted to pick her up from school, you won't live in this house anymore, and you won't see your sister grow up into the beautiful, smart young woman she's destined to be."

Each word felt like it was adding to the weight in his gut, until his whole body felt like it was filled with cement. He knew his father could do this. Knew his father could keep him away from his sister. Looking at his mother, he hoped he would see some sign that she wasn't on board with this. Because she couldn't do this, would she?

His mother's eyes, so similar to his own, were full of pain . . . but also resolve.

She was on his father's side.

Which meant there was only one choice to make.

Straightening his shoulders, Oliver looked into his father's eyes. "Fine," he said, his voice quiet and dull. "I'll go."

End.

Author's Note 2: So I hope no one's ready to kill me after this chapter! But Felicity's attack and Oliver's trip on the Gambit were always part of my plans for this fic. What wasn't in my plans was how the story kept growing, needing to be told in multiple stories rather than in just one. Next week, you can expect to see a short, two-part story focusing on Oliver and Felicity's separate experiences. After that, I'll begin posting the next story in this series, which will be about Oliver and Felicity reconnecting after five years.

If you couldn't guess, I love a slow burn. :-)

So I hope you'll continue along with this version of Oliver and Felicity! Thank you for reading and look for Jumping Off the Cliff next week.