warning for choking themes and abusive relationships, obviously

Gaillard can't breathe. Not with when he's alone with Serra, not when the other is so close, when his hand are on Gaillard's throat and he whispers into his ear and –

His words are sweet, like pills coated with sugar, so you'll only get to notice their bitterness when you cling to them longer than you should. Trapped as he is, Gaillard can't help but remember every word, every single one, just so he has something to hold onto, something to focus his anger and hatred on. He thinks he'll become crazy if he doesn't.

He's afraid.

How did he end up in a situation like this anyway? With Serra's cold hands wrapped around his neck, he can barely muster up enough strength to not start shivering uncontrollably. Well, he does shiver a little, but it's just, just really cold and he wants this to stop.

"It's okay." The quiet whisper into his ear that makes Gaillard close his eyes in a futile attempt to calm down. Not that he truly thinks it would help to make this easier. He knows it never does.

When Serra moves even closer, he doesn't like the way his hands start shaking. He doesn't want to seem weak when he's fulfilling his oath to Aichi, doesn't want to look powerless, doesn't want to feel like this, really. He can't afford to be weak, when there's something he has to protect, someone he need to be strong for.

The warmth of Serra's chest against his back is uncomfortable, unreal. It doesn't make sense that his body is so warm when his hand are so cold and tight around his throat.

"Just breathe, it's really easy." Serra laughs. "Or are you afraid?"

Gaillard tries to respond, but his voice crumbles in a way. He quickly tries to clear his throat and when he raises his voice again, there's confidence in it.

"I'm not." There are many ways to describe the things running through his mind, the things he's feeling, but honestly, fear was the furthest from describing them.

Being afraid won't help Aichi after all.

"Oh, is that so? Guess you're regretting what you did?" Serra's hand tighten even further on around his neck, when realization hits him. There's no point for Gaillard to keep on living, at least not from Serra's point of view. All he is to the other is a gross mixture between a hindrance to his plans and someone to play around with. Nothing that can't be replaced easily. So now that he's broken their vow, there's no point for Serra keep trusting him, no point for Serra to let him stay alive.

It'd be no loss for Serra to kill him.

Trying to process these thoughts, wondering if death wouldn't make things easier, Gaillard immediately shoves this idea away because Aichi needs him. But when Serra's fingers wrap more and more tightly around his throat, so tightly he has to start coughing, he would give up so much to make this stop.

It's when Gaillard remembers he already lost everything.

So, yeah, Serra's really going to kill him. Although it feels a bit odd, the only thing Gaillard can think of is how he promised to offer up his life to protect Aichi, but miserably let him down. Now, it feels like he has done nothing to help him, nothing to deserve to be his knight. Despite all those vows, he has let him down.

Another endless moment and then Serra finally completely lets go. Gaillard waits a moment only takes small, quiet breaths, to make sure what the other is doing. Then he exhales in relief.

"Oh, I'm still thinking of a proper punishment for betraying me. Did you think I'd go easy on you?" he laughs, a chilly exhale that brushes against Gaillard's neck. He clenches his teeth then, but remains silent. Slowly, Serra let's one of his hands slide away from the boy's throat to caress his check. Disgusting.

"Do you really think I'd feel bad to hurt a pretty face like yours?"

Just then, he spins Gaillard around, tugging him lightly in a way that could almost be described as careful. But only almost. And really, all of that is gone when he pulls the boy closer to him once again.

"Well, there's nothing wrong about a nice little dance while I'm thinking. What do you think, Gaillard?"

Without waiting for a response (not that he was going to give one anyway), Serra grabs both of Gaillard's hands and puts them into his one and then pushes, which effectively forces the smaller one to take a step back. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

Getting spun around and then being forced to walk again. Is this really how people dance? Gaillard's not sure and really can't remember that he's ever done something like that, so yeah. Like, of cause he has seen people dancing on TV and sometimes, his siblings would dance with each other when they're playing one of their games, but he has never, never done anything that came close to this in any way.

After a while, Serra placed one of the hands he was holding onto his own shoulder, while still holding the other one in his cold hands. When he puts his now free hand on Gaillard's waist, the young knight wonders if he's allowed to just let go of the shoulder. Well, most likely not.

Of cause, he won't ask. Gaillard would never just consider asking for Serra's permission to do anything. That would be like openly admitting defeat. Even worse, it's admitting he's no longer Aichi's knight and instead, obeys and listens to the commands of the very man who put Aichi in this helpless state.

So Gaillard just keep dancing along, following Serra's lead and waiting for him to get tired of his little games.

(Later, when Serra decides he's had enough of dancing and suggests to do something else to continue the punishment, Gaillard wants to beg him to keep dancing, just dancing. But Olivier Gaillard doesn't beg.)