Rage Quit

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. I only own Virtue and Jingle the Witch Hunters and also Ares' interpretation.

Summary: Pit declares he wants to quit Smash Brothers after being beaten half-dead outside of Smash. Dark Pit sees a temper tantrum that is making everyone worry and proceeds to snap him out of his rage.

Pairing: Pit/Pittoo, Ganondorf/Palutena with hints of hate sex OC/Pit

Rated: M (for mature) (just to be safe because of the topic at hand)

Genre: Romance, Drama and Hurt/Comfort with Humor (not a lot on Pit's end), Angst and Friendship

Warning: Swearing, sexual implications (especially hate sex) and unintentional OOC

A reminder that my headcanon is still Kid Icarus, Disgaea and Queen's Blade take place in the same universe. Anyone who reads my Disgaea fics already knows who Virtue is (he's everywhere as much as the Golden Land and Prism). Enjoy~

"I QUIT! I HATE THIS CRAP! LET ME LEAVE!"

To anyone in Smash Brothers Mansion, the captain of the royal bodyguards did not have a fuse and was not much of a quitter. His declaration surprised the Smashers and did not please Master Hand in the slightest. The context of the declaration needs to be cited.

A few characters had jobs outside of Smash Brothers Mansion and by job that meant maintaining an order to the universe. Rosalina was one of them who were gone for most of the day to maintain balance within the galaxy, checking on her "children" (the Luma) and helping them decide on what they want to achieve and making sure nothing was out of balance. Palutena to a lesser extent had the same job even though she was incredibly lazy by comparison. Magnus had to nag her to make sure she would go back to her human world, make sure the Goddess of Nature Viridi didn't reset the world to its natural state, give her blessings and then come back. Finally Pit and Dark Pit were angels so they did have to do their rounds. Dark Pit was not thrilled doing something as "benevolent" as guiding humans and assisting them from the shadows. Ironically Dark Pit did this better given he had the darker shade of wings and would be mistaken for a demon. This did not extend to their human world though. Rosalina allowed the angels to travel on the Comet Observatory and visit other worlds where humans and other life forces needed heavenly assistance.

It's not a surprise that Pit would get a message from someone he absolutely loathed telling him to meet in this galaxy alone, so after doing his task, he let Dark Pit go back to Smash Brothers Mansion first before he took up the challenge…

Later on the evening, Sonic in his state of defiance of not going out of Smash Brothers Mansion would run off for a jog around the world when he would find Pit's battered body. Being a friend of the white angel, Sonic naturally did panic thinking the worse. He carried Pit back to the mansion as fast as he could, hoping that someone could heal the captain.

Pit's life wasn't in danger despite being badly beaten. Palutena's temper was slowly flaring at the idea on who could have done this. When Master Hand if she had any ideas on who this could be, she gave no definitive answer. Instead she retreated to her room to think of what to do with her angel.

Once Pit woke up, he made that stupid speech. Nothing came of it as the Smashers would find out as he didn't file a letter of resignation if he hated Smash Brothers so much. Truth be told, Pit didn't know how to write a letter so he was kind of stuck without Palutena to help him and since she and Dark Pit just saw him as throwing a temper tantrum anyway, he resorted to train. That was the exact opposite of wanting to leave Smash Brothers.

For the next two weeks though, the angel's personality changed. He was more prone to blowing his top outside of battle and inside battle he was incredibly vicious. It was almost like he was leveling up every day after a battle and not in a good way.

You see, despite Pit being brutally beaten and being found outside of Smash Brothers Mansion each day, his injuries disappeared really fast even without the interference of a Goddess healing him. It was almost like Pit was set to magically heal at a certain period of time before he would get up, train harder, eat and then leave in the middle of the night to train even more. No one noticed originally that Pit was doing this to himself until Dark Pit caught him leaving one night through the window.

Pit had a rather poor excuse for his dark twin. At first he said he liked doing his angel duties at night when people needed assistance the most, but after being found half dead the first time, Pit tried to at least collapse near the mansion, so he could make his way to the infirmary. The injuries got worse every day and went on for two weeks. Every time he came back, his mood worsened.

Dark Pit was worried for his twin despite not showing it. Well, he had every reason because if Pit turned up dead, he would disappear too, but with how the white angel would be healed before the next battle, that was the least of his worries.

Many Smashers were honestly scared of Pit. Even the Villagers who were known for creeping people out were absolutely terrified of the angel when he viciously beat seven of them in an eight player Smash. Palutena's silence wasn't helping the situation. On day ten, Pittoo finally had enough with Pit's disappearance.

"Okay Pit, you're not going anywhere tonight." The dark angel told him darkly. "I let you go out hoping you would stop, but your injuries get worse every night! You're overworking yourself and need a break."

"What? Scared like everyone else? I've been showing I'm a better match than anyone here."

Dark Pit was not expecting such an arrogant response from him.

"What did you just say?"

"I'm better than you." Pit answered with obvious intent of hurting the dark angel. "You can't even beat me in a match now and you weigh me down in a match!"

Oh the red eyed angel did not take that insult well. He ended up grabbing Pit by the collar and slamming him against the wall next to the window.

"You bastard! With the way you're fighting, its almost like you're trying to kill us!"

"And what's wrong with that? At the end of the day, we'll be fine in the end."

"Dammit Pit, what is going on! You leave at night, show up half dead in the morning, you bitch about wanting to quit Smash Brothers and then proceed to go to another match and take your anger out on us! Pit, we're worried about you!"

The angel tried to keep his ferocious persona in check. For a second that Dark Pit noticed, his light twin dropped back to his normal dorky persona looking ready to cry before he took advantage of the situation and pushed the dark angel onto their bed.

"Look, I'm not asking for anyone to look after me. I can handle myself." He told his dark half who was surprised at how aggressive the light angel was to him. He flinched at how he was roughly being handled. "So just butt out of my business! I'm sure Lady Palutena will tell everyone what my issue is!"

"She won't say anything!"

"That's not my problem!"

The light angel let the dark angel go and went toward the window. "Don't follow me."

It's not like Dark Pit could with how quick the angel was to leave. He was too tired to chase after the angel. Plus Pit was getting faster by the day with his training that it was starting to become unfair. Still, he didn't expect to be called inferior…which he wasn't. He was better than Pit in battle. Pit was just cheating to do better. He could tell himself that but he ended up staring up at the ceiling confused at why Pit was acting so strange.

This would repeat for three more days before Dark Pit had the courage to corner him again. This is only after other Smashers tried to talk some sense into Pit and it didn't end well especially since it was in the training room.

"Red, can you leave me alone? I'm not in the mood."

"Look Pit, we're worried for your health!" The Pokémon Trainer shouted. "It's not just me you're worrying. You have Sonic, Megaman, Ike, your twin and even your Goddess concerned! Oh and Magnus and Phosphora! All your friends fear that you'll going to croak!"

"And I'm getting tired finding you every morning half dead." Sonic added folding his arms. "At first I thought that someone tried to kill you, but it looks like you're doing it to yourself. Either stop what you're doing or tell us what's going on."

"Please Pit…" Megaman mumbled behind the two. "You can't keep doing this to yourself."

Pit's response was to punch the punching bag so hard that it flung off the chain. Only a few characters like DK and Little Mac were able to do that effortless but the way Pit did it made them jump.

"Why does everyone have to be nosy? I'm fine! I don't need anyone telling me shit I already know! If you're my friends, get the hell out of my face and leave me alone! I don't…"

The angel appeared to be ready to break down again, but he shook off any doubts he had to glare at his friends. Red wasn't impressed one bit.

"Pit, don't tell us that after what you do in Smash! Your fighting style is sending people to Dr. Mario! You cannot keep doing this!"

"Why does it matter to you Red? You got kicked out! You will never get injured in battle!"

It wasn't wise to bring up Red's inability to get into battle. His reception was negatively received that Master Hand's solution was to split everyone. This made things awkward for Zelda and Sheik but for Red, it meant that he couldn't return and he had to choose one of his Pokémon to represent him while he was just demoted…he wasn't even allowed to be in the background commanding his Pokémon. Given Red did so well in Brawl, it was an insult and bringing it up was just not wise. It was Red's turn to grab Pit by the collar causing Sonic to order Megaman to get back as he tried to break the two up.

"Oh, so you're going to play the jerkass route where you're just going to insult me so I'll go away! Well, it's working Pit! You're burning bridges! If you want to quit, then quit unless you're too dumb to write a letter of resignation!"

"At least I have a choice unlike you who had to step down!"

"Hey, knock it off you two!" Sonic shouted. "No fighting!"

"Sonic, why don't you tell this stupid idiot to get out of my face? Just seeing his ash face angers me more than looking at Sandbag."

"But Pit…"

The angel was tired and just pushed Red off him. He did it a little too hard though and knocked him into Megaman. The captain sighed in defeat as he grabbed the towel on the nearby dresser and wrapped it around his neck. Without apologizing, he walked out of the training room. He ended up bumping into Shulk and Rob who caught the discouraged expression the angel wore as he rushed off.

"YOU JERK! GET BACK HERE!" Red yelled. "IF THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR FRIENDS, THEN I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT!"

"Red, calm down…" Sonic murmured. "We'll get to the bottom of this…Palutena will tell us what's wrong eventually."

The Pokémon Trainer just gave up for the rest of the day.

Again, Dark Pit with Lucina by his side tried to get Palutena to explain what was wrong with brunette. Palutena again rejected them and just sent Rosalina to give them the message. It turned out Palutena wasn't even in her room today.

"She's handling the business that is disturbing the angel." She said with a stern look. "Hopefully Pit will stop tonight when she's done with her errands."

"…Does it involve a certain God?" Pittoo had to ask.

"She thinks so, but its not one you know." Rosalina responded. "Don't worry. It is not Hades."

That didn't make the dark angel feel any better. Hades was dangerous but he was obnoxious and wouldn't cause Pit to act so violently after losing. It had to be someone else that he wasn't aware of. Lucina patted the dark angel on the back seeing his disheartened expression that he rarely showed.

"You must have faith in your brother." Lucina said trying her best to take Inigo's advice and smile. "If you cannot have faith in him, then he will be lost."

"…I normally don't care what he's doing, and I admit I only cared because I feared for my own life." He told her. "Now though, that's not even the problem. I just don't like that idiot…not being an idiot." He let out a groan. "He still is an idiot, but not the idiot we're all use to…"

"I understand. You must have faith. Perhaps you should try talking to him again. I have waited at night to stop him, but he doesn't take the same route every night."

"…I'm sorry for asking Lucina."

Rosalina attempted to give the two some encouraging words given that they were trying not to fall into the same line of thought that the white angel had fallen into. "I'm certain Dark Pit that if you talk to Pit and even assist him, things will resolve itself sooner."

"…So you want me to beat him to death and teach him a lesson?"

"Perhaps, but his rage…is unfounded by something deeper. You need to find out why. We cannot allow him to rage quit anymore for his own safety. I'm sure no one likes taking his upperdash arm to the face."

"No one likes taking it in the groin." Pittoo snarked. He was never a victim of this of course, but if your name was Douglas Falcon…

"Be careful Dark Pit. I worry for you too."

"Heh, don't worry about me."

That night, Pit was going to sneak out again, but again Dark Pit stopped him from using the window. If the white angel was caught one time before, why would he attempt it again when the dark angel wasn't asleep?

"Pit, we need to talk."

"Don't have time for that. I got someone to beat up."

"Who are you attacking late at night? Is it a Smasher or someone outside of Smash?"

The angel hated being interrogated now, but he decided to play along as he turned around. "Someone outside of Smash…someone you wouldn't know."

"I know. I don't have your memories. I only took your emotions, remember?"

"What do you want?"

"You're going to tell me what's been happening. I'm not risking my life anymore because you're too dumb to take care of yourself."

"I'm not dead! If I died then you would have vanished already! I'm fine! Stop asking!"

Again, the dark angel wasn't going to have this same fight so now he was the one that threw Pit onto the bed with him on top. Pit was stronger than him now so he had to make this quick. It was then he finally noticed something on the angel's chest causing his expression to falter.

"…Is that a hickey?"

The angel gasped as he tried to get away. "N-No it isn't…it's a bruise that bastard left when we were fighting…"

"Oh really? I'm not convinced. Who is this guy?"

Nope, he wasn't jealous that someone might be having an affair with his best and this entire time Pit was cheating on him. Nope that wasn't why he was angry at all…

The angel let out a really huge sigh to end all sighs as it looked like he finally caved in. "…The Witch Hunter Virtue…he tricked me…that bastard fucking tricked me…" The angel's curse words were incredibly venomous that it was obviously out of character for him to say it like that. "He said he needed help in a portion of the galaxy…I went there alone and it turned out he just wanted a duel with me. The loser had to do whatever the winner wanted. I was so stupid…"

"Is he…raping…"

"No!" Pit spat in defense although he looked ashamed. "It's not rape if you enjoy it…and I feel so disgusted for letting him do it…"

"Then this entire time..."

"We made another deal after he beat me. If I kept coming back to beat him, then the bet was off. Every time I went though, I keep losing no matter how many times I change my strategy. I trained as long as possible for this past week and the results are always the same…"

"No…it's different. The first time you could have died. Now you can at least make it into the infirmary before passing out."

"Like that makes it any better. Do not get it in your head that Virtue is raping me against my will…our relationship is complicated…I hate him. I hate him so much!"

"Then why did you accept the offer to be alone with him?!"

Pittoo was losing his temper with his light counterpart. What was he supposed to think? Did Pit enjoy hate sex so much that no one would be able to determine whether the act was consensual? He didn't even know what was going on in Pit's head despite their twin telepathy. He pretty much blocked him out.

"I'm probably a masochist." Pit admitted darkly as he pushed the dark angel off him so he could sit up. "But…whenever we're in the process of doing it…he always says the meanest things to rile me up…and I just want to quit Smash Brothers because I start to feel agitated that I'm stuck here not getting any stronger while he's not breaking a sweat out there in the galaxy…I'll never beat him and I'll be stuck with that dumb bet."

"Have you ever considered just standing him up or is he expecting that?"

The angel blinked before he shook his head. "I already lost enough of my pride as it is. If I chicken out then he'll have something else to laugh at. I get my ass pounded in more ways than one if I go and he'll make sure to make my life hell if I ran off like a coward."

Dark Pit wondered if pride was why he was manifested in the first place. The black angel was incredibly prideful and arrogant and while Pit did his best to hide his arrogance, in a situation like this, it was doing more harm than good. If he tried being humble then maybe…

"Plus, I can't run away with how he insulted Lady Palutena…or how that bastard called me defected…or how he insulted you…"

"Wait…what do I have to do with this?!"

The captain felt his cheek's light up as he looked away. "Well…I kind of called…your name out one time…"

Well this was getting awkward really fast. The dark angel's cheeks matched his light counterpart as he also turned away but…

"So…were you insulting me because you did that? I thought we were…"

"Look Pittoo, there's nothing romantic between Virtue and me. The minute I beat him, I intended to apologize and come clean. It's just that the more losses that pile on me while he looks up at me all smug…bug boy just pisses me off so much. I don't want anyone to know I'm losing so badly to him…"

"But you come back with your tunic torn like a monster attacked you!"

"That's from the battle! Not from the bed! I have done my share of damage to him! I gave him a black eye!"

The more information that was coming out of his mouth the more Dark Pit wondered if Pit really was losing badly. It was almost like Pit was getting closer to beating him and he was just too saddened to realize that if he pushed it a little more, he would be out of the bet.

"And his insults really cut deep. He's just the master of insults though…" Pit said with a sigh. "I hate him for calling me defected! Okay, just because he has fucking butterfly wings doesn't mean he can insult my inability to fly! It's not my fault my wings are broken! Tonight, I'm going to break his wings and see who has the last laugh!"

"Pit…"

"And how dare he insults Lady Palutena! She's at Smash! She doesn't have time to do all of her errands in the human world! Magnus knows that!"

"Pit…"

"And you may be my clone, but you're still important to me! Just because he's a single child doesn't mean he can take his frustration out on me that asshole!"

"PIT!"

The angel looked up at the dark angel who embraced his light side.

"…Just shut up and give me a hug…"

"Pittoo…"

"This entire time…I felt like I was losing you…to know you're still an idiot behind your anger is just…you better apologize!"

"Pittoo…I…"

Pit sniffed as a response not realizing he was on the verge of crying at that moment. The dark angel realized too late as when the blue eyed angel embraced him, he started bawling his eyes out. He had never seen Pit this upset…but the tears were from anger and his cries were from the frustration of losing rather than the despair of being so helpless.

"Dammit…I really screwed up…I made everyone worry. Red might never forgive me and I sent Ike to Dr. Mario in battle. Dammit…I don't want to lose anyone because of that jerk…dammit!"

Dark Pit let his twin continue to curse into his chest and allowed him to cry. He was just relieved that Pit was slowly returning to normal. If they could find a way to get rid of the bet and not hurt his pride, then things would go back to normal.

As soon as Pit stopped crying, the dark angel nuzzled against his twin's chest wanting the affection despite Pit's need of it. He was selfish like that, but Pit…didn't mind now.

"Thanks Pittoo. You're one of the only people I can console in."

"Big words for a small angel." He joked. "But I'm you…so I guess its natural to care."

He was trying to be kind, but it wasn't working. Pit chuckled weakly as he slowly pushed Pittoo away again. His expression was dead serious.

"There is one more thing Virtue said that made me want to beat him tonight. I'll never forgive him."

What else could there be besides insulting his Goddess, his twin and the inability to fly? Dark Pit was expecting something sinister that only Virtue knew but it was actually something that both of them had every right to be angry with.

"He called me ugly."

Dark Pit felt his temper flare now as he stood up. "Pit, I'm coming with you. We're beating his ass together tonight."

"But…" At first Pit was going to protest but then realized that there was a loophole in his bet. A nasty smile appeared on his face. "Why didn't I think of that? The bet says if Pit beats Virtue, then the bet is off! You're a part of me so there's no problem with a two against one match!"

"Good. Hope he doesn't mind one more joining into the bed."

"W-Wait…you want to…"

"Pit…you're mine and if he thinks that he's better in bed then me, then he's got another thing coming! He's going to scream when I'm done with him!"

The captain wasn't so sure about that. If Dark Pit connected with Pit at that moment, he would have noticed that Pit would have mocked him for secretly wanting a threesome since they weren't going to get it in Smash Brothers Mansion without getting caught by Master Hand or Palutena.

"Virtue, why are you so mean to Pit?" Asked an alien dressed up in Christmas colored dress. She had dark skin and weird antennas on her head providing proof that she indeed was a strange alien. "I don't think that fucking destroying his self-esteem is going to make the battle go any smoother."

The man known as Virtue just sat on the moon of one of the many galaxies in the universe and grumbled as a response. He was an attractive young man with short brown hair and green eyes. He wore a red trench coat and a burgundy colored scarf to cover his neck.

"Jingle…you know how I like pushing him." He said with a devious smile. "He's so easy to anger that I can't help but insult him."

"But the more you fucking insult him, the stronger he gets. Pretty soon, he's going to be on top of you!"

The witch hunter chuckled at the thought. "I'm the strongest Witch Hunter in the universe Jingle. He is not going to get any stronger. He's going to have to get smarter if he wants to beat me."

The alien tilted her head in confusion. "But that's the thing. Nowhere in the bet does it say that he can't just walk up and leave. Do you expect him not to do that?"

"No, he's too prideful. Besides Jingle, I'm the Witch Hunter of Patience. I could wait forever for him to come back and if he doesn't show up, I'll gladly take it to Smash, and he wouldn't want that." He laughed as he tightened the scarf as if trying to hide some bite marks on his neck. "Wouldn't want anyone to find out our wonderful relationship."

"It's just hate you two have for each other." Jingle reminded him. "Besides, why sleep with him when you got me?"

"He may be obnoxious but he's good in bed…just like me." He laughed completely ignoring Jingle's sexual comment. "If he brought his clone alone, I wonder how that will turn up."

"Please stop your twin fantasy. You're not going to get it. Pit is too fucking dumb to do that."

When she said that though an arrow was shot in his direction. Virtue simply moved his head and let the arrow pass him. He smirked thinking that it was just Pit. As he stood up and turned around, his expression changed seeing that Pit brought company.

"Hey bug boy, we're going to kick your ass and end the bet tonight!" Pit declared happily as her twin brought his staff to snipe.

"…You stupid flightless…" Virtue didn't even bother finishing that insult as he got his gunblade out. "Jingle, stay out of this as usual and heal after the battle."

"Of course. I guess you're going to get your twin fantasy after all!"

It wasn't just Pit who was getting his revenge on the man who was making his life a living hell, but Palutena managed to get things done on her end. Rosalina worried for the Goddess of Light seeing her dress ripped and having blood on her cheek. She was still smiling happily though when she flopped on her bed.

"Are you okay?" Rosalina asked as she told the Luma to go get Ganondorf. "You're not doing the same thing as Pit?"

"Perhaps." Palutena said with a smile as she stretched her arms out. "I had to make sure that it wasn't my stupid brother doing that to Pit. Not like I'm completely wrong because Virtue works under my brother."

"…So this is just a sibling rivalry extending to their subjects."

"Pretty much."

"…Then that means that your brother had nothing to do with what happened to Pit."

"Nope."

"…And you beat him up anyway?" She asked this in disbelief as she had a feeling she would know how the Goddess of Light would respond.

"Of course. Ares is just someone you want to punch in the face and leave him to the vultures after beating him up. But I guess he broke my arm in the process…but I still won."

"Unbelievable…" Rosalina mumbled as she proceeded to leave just when Ganondorf got hauled in Luma leading the way (it wouldn't shut up if he didn't follow). "Ganondorf, you can handle Palutena. She just enjoys making people worry."

Ganondorf was not surprised that Palutena did something unrelated to her captain in the end. It would have made sense for Rosalina to take care of the green haired Goddess but even she had her limits of how much she could take from her. He noticed that Rosalina already left the first aid right next to the Goddess of Light. He was not pleased at how he was going to be the one to take care of her tonight.

"You really need to stop tormenting your brother if he has nothing to do with Pit."

"Aww, but its fun to attack him. He should watch his witch hunters better." Her smiled brightened. "If he thinks that he doesn't have to watch them and they hurt my angel, then he had it coming."

"Honestly…I would hate to be on the receiving end of your motherly wrath…" The Demon King whispered as he started with wiping the blood off her cheek.

"You say something Ganny?"

"…No…"

Rosalina just waited outside of the mansion. She didn't need to sleep like the other Smashers. The Queen of the Cosmos would wait for the twins to return. In the meantime, the Luma were sent off to wake up a few specific Smashers to join her. Sonic was already up expecting Pit to return half-dead. Red let out a big yawn and Megaman was still half-asleep when called out (his system must not turn on at a certain time or something). Lucina would show up with Ike without the Lumas calling for them. Lucina was worried for the dark angel as Ike was for the light angel. Both were incredibly important to them. Finally Magnus and Phosphora were looking onward from inside the mansion not bothering to come outside.

"So we're going to lecture Pit again?" Red asked annoyed. "What's the point? He's being a stubbon ass and will quit eventually."

"Don't say that." Sonic told him in a serious tone. "Pit is just angry. As his friends, we got to stick by him…even if we have to beat him up so he'll stay awake this time."

Rosalina giggled at the thought. "Don't worry. This will be the last night. He'll be back tomorrow."

The teen Smashers were confused.

"What makes you say that?" The blue hedgehog asked.

Rosalina just pointed forward. The Smashers looked onward and saw two angels finally reaching the hill and slowly walking back down. They were both injured with their clothes torn up and bruised all over, but there was a difference now. Pit was laughing…something he hadn't done in two weeks now. Dark Pit's face was obviously red that anyone could see it from a distance.

"Pit just needed to ask for help and it would have been resolved. How ironic it took Dark Pit to show him that."

Me: Done with 6315 words.

Li: Virtue confirmed for the biggest dick of all your OCs.

Me: He has his reason to be a bigger dick than Prism who just fucks people over because he's childish. Anyone who reads the Pokémon story Trick and Treat see him at his worse (but there's a good reason for that if I can get to finishing that damn story). Notes!

1. Well with the reveal of the Smash WiiU trailer, the story was slightly changed with more things allowing Pit to just go all out. I was still right: eight players is not an online mode. I also use the Amiibo idea where the character levels up and gets smarter. Pit getting stronger from the outside helps the implication but doesn't get smarter (Dark Pit is still the one who comes up with the plan). Finally, Pit's anger as explained later can also be related to glory mode as the more you lose, the more depressed you'll get. I know I may not play glory mode as much but its depressing to see how many matches you lost because you got the short end of the stick of playing someone who is better than you. This is how Pit is feeling when he fights Virtue who isn't even in Smash Brothers. Pit as a result says some rather nasty things given how he lost to Virtue at least thirteen times.

2. Depending on the story depends if Pit and Dark Pit share the same bed. This one they do, but ones where they're not paired up, they do not. Sometimes even when paired up they do not share the same bed (but one ends up crawling into the other bed anyway).

3. Pit and Virtue have this complicated relationship. It's dubious consent at best but its obvious hate sex. As brought up in Witch Hunter for Hire by Fenrich, Virtue has a reputation of sleeping around and pretty much slept with everyone in the Witch Hunter Academy. The note Virtue sent was something dumb and Pit fell for it. So overall Pit's pride is shattered not only because he lost but also got tricked. Originally Pit was just upset with that, but it was only after time did he start shouting how he wanted to quit because by quitting he could fight Virtue all day without being distracted by his other tasks. He actually says that thirteen times but never acts on it. He wouldn't be able to leave because if Pit can't read, I doubt he could write. The amount of sex these two have is hilarious though given they'll be insulting each other the entire time.

Virtue is a jerk though and isn't afraid of saying nasty things. An example in the Disgaea fics is how he has no problem calling Fenrich all of these insulting dog terms, insulting Valvatorez's entire character and pretty much making a transphobic comment toward Valerie (despite not being transsexual). Here, he goes for all of Pit's sore spots knowing it will anger him more. Personally I don't find him making fun of Pit's handicap funny (but the imagination of what he says about Palutena and Pittoo are hilarious in my mind).

4. Jingle is a healer so she sets her healing spell up to where Pit will heal after a certain period of time hence he's able to push himself. She's also an alien that swears a lot in her speech rather than being too edgy. She and Virtue are partners FYI and she does crush on him (even if this is not apparent in all the Disgaea one-shots they have shown up in).

5. Ares is Athena's brother in Greek mythology. They hate each other and Palutena will always find an excuse to make his life miserable (but not the other way around because Ares honestly doesn't want to mess with someone who always bullies him). Palutena is in charge of the angels while Ares has the Witch Hunters (which can be any race as long as they swear loyalty to him and swear to go after witch/sorcerers of the Golden Land). With this in mind, it's a wonder why Rosalina doesn't want to deal with Palutena (who attacked Ares at first because she thought he sent Virtue to make Pit's life miserable but finding out Virtue is doing this on his own, she still beats him up).

That's it. Reviews are appreciated. Time to work on the next one-shot…and to think I wanted this one-shot to be funny but it ended up being a drama. Ja ne!