June 104AG

Friday: Eight Days Before the Wedding

It was four years after the war ended and Sokka was just reaching the bottom of his fifth glass of whiskey. In a week, his best friend Zuko would be marrying his ex-girlfriend Suki. To make things worse, he was the best man and he had no date. Two years after they broke up and all he had to show for it was a string of one-night stands and a low-paying job in Republic City. He was a loser.

Aang had Katara. Toph had whatever she was doing with Satoru. The warriors were back at Kyoshi Island. Everyone else was doing just fine post war. He missed the days when Azula and her friends were trying to kill him. He was popular. He had all of his friends with him. Now, he was alone, in a bar, getting drunk.

"Another one," he croaked to the bartender. He went to open his wallet. He didn't even have money for another whiskey. "Nevermind, I'll take a water." The bartender felt for the guy. He came in every day this week. He must be dreading something.

"A whiskey sour, extra whiskey strain the ice," a woman said as she sat down next to Sokka. She slid a 10 coin to him. "You can keep the change." The drinks only cost 5 coins. She must be rich.

Sokka turned to his right. The woman had long dark hair, smooth pale skin and these ruby red lips. It wasn't until she turned for her drink that she said, "Long time no see."

It was Azula.

He jumped out of his chair. "What are you doing here?"

He would have looked handsome if he didn't look washed up drunk. "Calm down, caveman! I just wanted a drink before I went to home."

"You're staying here."

"I agreed to go to some stupid meeting for my brother, since he's stuck in last minute wedding junk. I'll be leaving for the palace in a few days."

Sokka had no idea what happened to her after she ran away. "Where have you been all this time?"

"Well, I'll need more than one drink before I tell you that." She took a sip. "Oh, this is lovely."

"Does everyone else know you're back or whatever?"

She shrugged. "Zuko does. Mai and Ty Lee know. Suki must know by now. I haven't seen your sister or her bald boy toy, so I don't know about them and Toph and I hang out sometimes."

"You HANG OUT with Toph?"

"Well, we beat each other up the first five times we saw each other, but once we got it all out of our system, we decided to go out for drinks and well beat up every jerk in the bar instead. I guess we had a lot in common: noble women expected to marry and produce an heir, mothers who never appreciated our talents, fathers who made questionable deals for power. We both have a way of offending people when we speak our minds, which is how we got into so many fights in the first place."

Sokka never thought about it that way.

Azula ordered another two drinks. "I want the same and what are you drinking?" she asked Sokka.

"I can get my own drinks."

"No you can't," she said bluntly.

"I'll have what she's having."

"Good choice."

The bartender made two more whiskey sours. She gave him another 10 coin and a 2 coin this time.

He would be paying attention to her tonight.

"So how about I tell you what happened to me after the Forgetful Valley and you tell me what has you so depressed?"

"I guess that's fair."

"You first."

"Why me?"

"I'm buying."

"Ah. Well, I thought that things were good between Suki and me, but she didn't like the distance. I was travelling with Aang and Katara dealing with rebels, corrupt mining companies, the works. She broke up with me and I was hurt, but I figured, I'm young, a war hero. I'll bounce back.

I had sex with a lot of girls and it was fun, but then I get this letter from Zuko telling me he's in love with Suki. He said nothing happened until months after we broke up, but she made him feel something he had never felt before.

Suddenly, all of the one-night stands weren't fun. I figured I'd find that special girl too, but I didn't. All of my friends are happy. I'm working a job that pays shit. I can't even afford to get drunk and now I'm the best man at their wedding, and I don't even have a date. She's going to see that I have amounted to nothing right before she becomes Fire Lady. I wish I had said no."

"Well, that sucks." Azula said bluntly. "But, I still think it's better than losing your mind, ending up in an asylum, being taken out to find a mother who never loved you in the first place, had her memories erased so she could forget she ever had you, just to run away into a valley facing almost certain death."

Sokka grunted. "I guess that's pretty bad, but you look pretty fabulous now."

"I do, don't I," she said with a grin. "So my turn. Barkeep, I need two more drinks and if you are still serving food, I want something meaty and greasy."

He nodded and called out an order for a platter of loaded nachos.

He served the drinks and his assistant, who looked like the man's son, came out with a giant bowl of cheesy, meaty, chips with sour cream and avocado mango mash. She put the bowl between them. Sokka was in love.

She took a sip of her drink. "After I ran into the valley, I ran into all kinds of creatures, little furry ones, big scaly ones. I was sure that I was going to either get eaten or die of dehydration. I didn't recognize any of the produce, so I didn't know if anything was poisonous.

After two days of running and hiding, I finally found an apple tree. "I started to shake it and collected the apples. I ate probably four or five of them and was about to leave when a spirit rushed at me, accusing me of stealing her fruit.

I apologized. I didn't know it wasn't a free tree and she looked ready to kill me when she said, "well, now you'll have to pay for them." In order to work off my debt to her, I had to help plant apple trees in the forest. She gave me a hut to stay in and water to drink while I planted seeds, rerouted the rivers so they could get water, did farmer work basically.

Eventually after I don't know how many days had past, she said I could go and showed me the way out.

I ended up in some town I had never seen before. I didn't remember who I was or what happened before I got into the valley. The townspeople were amazed to see me, since they assumed everyone who went in there died. I think they just ended up without their memories in Hira'a, but that's not for me to say.

A woman took me in, allowing me to work in her bookstore for room and board and I was there for the next eight months. It was mostly uneventful, except about four months into my stay, this group of rebels tried to rob the town.

"I told them to go away, but they attacked me instead. It was then that I learned I was a firebender with a blue flame. I started beating them up and one of them called out, 'she's the princess.' I though they were nuts, but months after they left, Zuko came and offered to bring me home.

He explained what happened before I left, and I didn't really want to go back. It sounded terrible living in a palace, surrounded by warriors who hated me, but my boss thought I should give my family another chance.

I came back to the palace. Zuko hired Lo and Li to be my caretakers, and I was there until I turned 17. Zuko said I could do what I wanted and I decided to travel instead.

Without my topknot, people usually don't recognize me, so I haven't had much trouble, well until I ran into Toph. She can't see anyway, so my change of clothes and hair did nothing to her seismic sense. She confronted me and we fought, repeatedly, until finally, we got tired of fighting each other, and eventually started talking. She turned out to be pretty okay. I didn't really have friends at that point, so I couldn't afford to be picky.

And now, here I am, getting drunk and counting down the days until I have to watch my brother marry a woman who is still complaining about the war. I don't expect her to like me, but she doesn't have to be such a passive aggressive insert any curse word you want. Women of the court are supposed to be dignified.

Regardless of what they actually think of you, they wear a mask of gentleness. I hated it, which is why I usually refuse to host political functions, but she's a soon to be Fire Lady that still acts like an angry peasant." Azula laughed bitterly. "I can't wait until she has to go to her etiquette school."

"Her what?"

"All ladies of the court have to take classes on who to behave. I did, my mother did, even my grandmother had to as Fire Lady. You have to be taught how to eat, how to smile without looking too flirtatious, how to wave to the public. Everything is choreographed, and she's probably stuck there now. I hope she hates it."

Sokka snorted. "I have trouble seeing her doing that."

Azula ordered another round. Sokka never thought she would make a pleasant drinking buddy, but she's cordial, she pays, and has some amusing stories, mainly the ones that make Zuko look like an idiot.

"And there was this one time, he was trying to feed a turtle duck, so he threw a big piece of bread at it, but it was too big and hurt the duck so it's mother bit him. I thought he was a fool. Couldn't he see how small the duck's mouth was? But my mother hugged him like he was the victim of some major crime. It was absurd."

"You don't do well with incompetence do you?"

"Why do you think I set Kuei's robes on fire during the meeting this afternoon?"

"You what?" he gasped.

"It was a small fire, but they still kicked me out of city hall. They would have arrested me, but I have diplomatic immunity."

Sokka cracked up. "I could use that!"

Azula had an idea. "I know how to fix your wedding problem."

"How?"

"I'll be your date."

"You?"

"Sure. I'll get you nice looking robes. We'll show up arm and arm, tell everyone we're dating, have cute little nicknames for each other, kiss at a few key moments and drive Zuko and Suki crazy, all the while being totally 'innocent.'"

It sounded too good to be true. "That's diabolical and amazing."

"It's what I do best. When were you leaving for the wedding?"

"I was going to leave two nights before. Suki wouldn't let Zuko have a bachelor party."

"I'm leaving four nights before, so I'll buy you a ticket to come with me. We'll show up together and have a few days to make my brother miserable."

"I think I can handle that."

Saturday: 7 Days Before the Wedding

Sokka woke up with a grin on his face, not that he could see it. It was almost noon. He was about to make himself breakfast when there was a knock on his door. "Who could that be?"

He opened it and he heard, "we need to shop."

"What?"

"For your wedding attire. I can't have you showing up as my date wearing whatever you own."

He frowned, but she was likely right. "I was going to eat breakfast."

"Well, I'll get you lunch after. It's almost noon."

"I usually have breakfast at noon on Saturdays."

"We'll get brunch."

Before he could actually agree, she took his hand and they were off. They ended up in some fancy store he had only ever walked past. Azula waved her hand to get an attendant.

"Yes Princess."

She must be a regular, Sokka thought.

"Hi. Sokka here is my date for my brother's wedding and I need him to look marvelous: the robes, the shoes, and the cologne, all of it suitable for a prince. He's from the Southern Water Tribe, so he will need the appropriate colors to represent them and ideally an outfit that will pair well with my dress which is red and gold."

"Of course Princess."

He led Sokka and then relayed some instructions to some of the female attendants. They measured him and read out some numbers. The man left and started grabbing items in white and blue. Sokka was in a dressing room and stripped to his underwear. They dressed him, babbling to each other as they switched his clothes repeatedly until finally, they brought the Princess in to get her approval.

"Oh he looks charming."

The man whispered something to Azula and she nodded.

He came back with silk underwear and socks for Sokka as well.

Sokka wondered why he needed fancy underwear. Who would see it?

Azula bought all of it and they said they would deliver it to Sokka's apartment this evening.

"This way, we don't have to carry around clothes all day."

Isn't he going home after brunch?"

They got to the restaurant and there was a line. Sokka wondered how long it would take for them to eat. It took them an hour just to get his clothes.

Azula whistled and the doorman waved her forward ahead of the line.

"Princess, would you like your usual table?" The host asked her.

"I would."

A waitress led them to a private table on the top floor.

"My name is Miko. I will be serving you today. Can I start you off with a drink?"

"I'll take a mimosa," she told the woman

"I'll take a bloody Ozai."

"I still find it weird they named a drink after him," Azula said of her father.

"Me too, but they're good."

Sokka eyed the menu: steak and eggs, chicken fried steak, pancakes, waffles with moon peach compote. "This all looks good."

"I like the chicken and waffles the best, with a side of bacon of course. They make their bacon in house."

"Good to know."

Miko came back, and they ordered.

"Why are you doing all of this?" Sokka asked her.

"What do you mean?"

"We could have gone to some hole in the all and it's not like I would have minded."

"Well duh, but if people are going to believe you're my boyfriend, then they will have need to have seen you with me, and I would never take a boyfriend to Desni's Pancake House."

"I like that place."

"Wait until you eat these pancakes. You'll hate that you've ever been to Desni's."

He accepted her challenge and like usual, she was right. The pancakes here were out of this world. "This is so amazing."

"Exactly. We do both have to work, but we should keep going out to dinner, so as many people see us as possible, and you should come with me when I have brunch with Toph and Satoru tomorrow."

"Okay," he said.

"It won't be here, but the other restaurant is very nice."

He believed her.

After lunch, she took him to get some more clothes. "You'll need to dress differently when we meet for dinner. If anyone asks today, all of your better clothes are at the cleaners."

He blushed. He knew his clothes were cheap, but he didn't think they were that bad.

When Azula came in, there was a race to get to her. These girls got paid on commission. One girl was in the lead, but another tripped her to get there first. "Princess, how may I help you?"

"I need seven outfits for Sokka here. Two of them should be casual, two of them high end and the other three somewhere in between. I want them all to be from the new collections of the best designers and he will need a new pair of sneakers, a new pair of dress shoes and some new ties."

"Of course." The woman happily led Sokka away. She was going to make a killing today.

The other girls watched enviously. "Next time," Azula said to the girl who had fallen down, "someone trips you, grab her ankle and take her down too."

Sokka couldn't believe Azula was getting him this much stuff. She really did believe in doing this perfectly. He wondered what Suki would say when she saw him looking like a star.

Sokka could barely carry everything out.

"They could have delivered it."

"I know, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to walk with all these bags."

She laughed.

"Brunch is at 1 tomorrow. I'll come to your place at 12:30. Bring your appetite."

"I will." He always had his appetite.

Sunday Six Days Before the Wedding

Toph was snoring. They were supposed to be at brunch in 30 minutes. Satoru shook her awake. "Get up!"

"I was sleeping!"

"I know. We're meeting the Princess for brunch."

"Zappy! Oh yeah. I'm hungry!"

She got dressed and they headed over to the restaurant. They were only 10 minutes late this time, which was a record for Toph.

"Toph Bei Fong, reservation for three."

"Oh yes, the Princess changed it to a reservation for four. She and her date are already at the table."

"Date. She doesn't date," Toph told Satoru. "I wonder who this guy is."

She got to the table and couldn't believe it. "Snoozles?"

"Hey Tophy."

"What are you doing with Zappy?"

"Well, we've been seeing each other casually and we decided to make it official before I take him to Zuko's wedding as my date."

"Bullshit!" Toph would have known if they had been dating.

Azula kissed Sokka hard on the mouth. His heart started pounding out of his chest. Her lips were sweet with champagne and her mouth was warm, very warm. She slipped in her tongue and he grabbed her hips.

"OKAY! Don't make a baby in front of me!"

Azula broke the kiss. "Satoru, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Princess." he squeaked.

"You can call me Azula."

"I know Princess."

"He's a dweeb," Toph told her.

"I think he's adorkable."

Sokka chuckled.

"So why Snoozles?"

"Well, I was at a bar, and I saw a tall man with nice, broad shoulders and decided to sit next to him, and it turned out to be Sokka."

"I didn't recognize her at first either. It wasn't until she turned and I saw those eyes, and well, she captured me quickly."

"I was always good at hunting. He's my caveman and I'm his little firefly."

"OOGIES!" Toph yelled.

"Get used to it," Sokka said. "We're going to make Zuko and Suki really mad."

Azula kissed him again.

Toph snickered. "Oh Sparky and Fan Girl are gonna blow up not to mention Sugar Queen."

Sokka had forgotten about his sister. "Yeah, I haven't told her about us."

"Don't worry. I'll protect you," Azula said.

"He'll need it," Toph told her. "She's gonna go ballistic, and your father will be there."

How did Sokka keep forgetting all these people will be at the wedding?

"Are you nervous Snoozles?"

"It will be fine," Azula assured him. "I spent three years learning how to charm people. I'll play nice with your family." She kissed his cheek.

"Seriously, you're gonna make me barf," Toph said as she ate her bacon.

Sokka had to admit that it felt really good to have her kiss on him.

"You'll get used to it," Azula said. "It's not like I've never seen you and Satoru."

"That was one time and I forgot that I told you to come over or that you had the spare key to my apartment."

"I must say, I had never seen someone attempt to have sex while upside down before."

Satoru turned tomato carrot red.

"I've learned to make good use of my earthbending."

After brunch, Azula and Toph said something about going to the wedding. Toph and Satoru were on the same flight and Toph had gotten a suite, so the drinks would just keep coming.

"I'm gonna drink you under the table," Azula told her.

"I'd like to see you try."

"Wouldn't you like to see?"

"Bitch!"

"Brat!"

They punched each other's arms before they left.

Sokka couldn't believe Toph bought that. "How did you convince Toph? She uses her seismic sense to tell when people are lying."

"It wasn't a total lie. I did think you were hot when I approached you."

Sokka blushed as Azula headed home.

She was pretty good looking too.

Monday: Five Days Before the Wedding

Sokka wore one of his new outfits to work. Everyone was looking at him.

"Nice suit Sokka."

"Love the tie," it had little otter penguins on it.

"You smell good!" His new cologne came with a new soap, and he tried it out today.

He felt really good right now.

Even his boss did a double take. "Since when do you look, sharp?"

He laughed. "My girlfriend decided I needed some sprucing up."

"Well let her spruce you."

With his confidence level high, he got right to work.

Azula was back at the negotiations table and she was bored. Someone must have told the Avatar what happened because he and Katara came today and sat between her and Kuei.

"Now I have a babysitter," Azula said dryly.

Kuei went on about something totally irrelevant while Azula did her nails.

"What are you doing?" Kuei demanded to know.

"Something productive. I would go to the salon after this, but I have a date."

"Who would date you?" Katara mumbled under her breath.

"A man with hair," she retorted.

Aang looked down at the ground.

Katara growled.

At lunch, Azula called her boyfriend on the radio. "Hey Caveman."

"Firefly, what's going on?"

"Well, work is boring as usual," she said, right in front of the people she was working with, "but I wanted to hear your sexy voice, so I decided to call you."

"Well, I can't wait for tonight," which was true. She was taking him to some steakhouse.

"Me neither, I want to hear all about your day, and you should stay at my place tonight."

Katara gaped at her conversation.

"Bye Firefly," Sokka said as he hung up. Was she serious or was this for show?

"Are you always so inappropriate?" Katara questioned.

"Just because you're dating a monk doesn't mean the rest of the world can't have sex."

Katara was about to say she and Aang have sex just fine, but she caught herself. "You're disgusting."

"My boyfriend doesn't think so."

"I never knew you had a boyfriend," Aang said.

"Well, he'll be my date at the wedding. You can meet him there."

Azula came to Sokka's door at 6:30. "The reservation is at 7:00," Azula told him as she adjusted his tie. "I made you an appointment to have your hair trimmed before we leave and they will trim your beard, but not shave it off. I think you look good with facial hair, and I rarely say that about men."

Suki hated his facial hair. "Will I have time after work?"

"Yes. I paid for the porter to pick up your stuff and take it to the ship, so we can go from the barber straight to the ship."

"I didn't even realized all of these services existed."

"Any service can be bought, at a price."

"Love can't be bought."

"No, but people will say they love you if the money's right."

"Did you mean Mai and Ty Lee?"

Azula frowned. "I meant my mother. She never loved my father, but she liked the money for being a princess, and she told him what he wanted to hear. He believed her until he found out she was still writing to her ex-lover. He became even colder after that."

Sokka didn't ask any more questions. They got to the restaurant. There were photographers about since one of the Councilmen was eating there tonight. Azula wasn't fazed at all. She took Sokka's hand, and they went inside.

"Princess for two." There weren't many princesses anymore. She didn't even have to say Azula most of the time.

"Right this way Princess."

They had a table in the middle of the restaurant, maximizing their exposure.

The waiter came with menus and offered to start them off with wine. Azula looked to Sokka and he picked some random red. He didn't know anything about wine.

"Why did you have me pick?"

"Usually, the man picks."

"You're not a usual girl."

"I know, but we are trying to make an appearance," Azula smiled and gave a slight wave. The Councilman had been looking at her.

"So that's the royal wave?"

"It's one of them."

"How many are there?"

"Three. One for parades, one when signaling another politician and one for get the guards, he's been poisoned."

"You made the last one up."

"Did not!"

He looked at her.

"It might just mean there's an emergency, but it's usually used for poisonings."

"Have you ever had to use it?"

"No."

The wine came and they decided to share the oyster prawn appetizer and get their own entrees.

When the first course came, Azula picked up a piece and fed it to Sokka. He was surprised by the gesture, but he never rejected food.

"The Councilman was looking at us. Now, he knows this is a date and not a business meeting. He'll tell everyone he knows."

"Why?"

"So he can show he's up to date on the gossip and ahead of his friends."

The Councilman did watch them during the rest of their date.

"This steak is out of this world. How do they get it so good?"

"It's the quality of the cow pig. They raise them in special mountains and pamper them until they're slaughtered. They also cook them carefully, searing them hot before slowly cooking them, so they get that nice brown crust but aren't overdone."

"I take it you've had your fair share of fine dining."

"Whatever made you think that?"

He rolled his eyes, but then he kissed her.

"What was that for?"

"I can't let you lead all the time."

"You let me lead."

"Yeah."

After dessert, the Councilman approached Azula. "Princess, it's good to see you. Sokka, how did you get such a lovely date?"

"We ran into each other a few months ago and just hit it off," He lied easily.

"Will we see you at the wedding?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it. I take it you're leaving early."

"We're leaving tomorrow."

"I won't be leaving until Thursday, but I'll see you there."

He made his way back to his table.

"Did you mean it when you said I should spend the night?"

Azula laughed. "I said it to piss off your sister, but I wouldn't be opposed to you sleeping over. Are you afraid that I bite?"

"I know you bite," he said. "And I fear nothing."

They took a carriage back to her place. Of course, she lived in a magnificent apartment.

"Your closet is huge," he told her.

"It was a nursery, but I wasn't having a child in here, so I had them install some coat racks."

Damn! She had nice furniture, all of the newest appliances and artwork on the walls.

"How long have you lived here?"

"I've been coming and going for a year, but I just got this place six months ago," Azula said. "After seeing Toph and Satoru, I decided it best not to crash there anymore."

Sokka laughed. "She never locks her door. I've walked in on her a couple of times."

Azula made coffee and added whiskey and cream.

"Now this is delicious," Sokka said as he had some.

"It's the only way I drink coffee."

"Are you a tea person?"

"I'm a lemonade person."

"Lemonade?"

"It's sweet and sour. I like that, and it goes well with rum, whiskey or gin."

"There is that."

They spent half the night telling stories from their childhood and Sokka fell asleep on the couch.

Tuesday: Four Days Before the Wedding

When he woke up in the morning, he was surprised to see he wasn't at home until he remembered he was at Azula's. She was singing in the shower. She had a lovely voice. He looked at the time. He had to get home so he could change before work. He left a note on her table. "Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you tonight."

Azula got out the shower. She had hoped he would be bold enough to join her, maybe next time.

She got dressed and made breakfast before going to more negotiations. She actually did know how to cook. She had learned when she was in that nameless town.

She got to city hall and refused any of the ideas that came that morning. Zuko had been very specific about what he wanted to see out of these negotiations, and she would not come home a failure.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Katara hissed at her.

"How am I any more stubborn than you are? You keep shoving demands down my throat, knowing that they are an undue burden on my country. Zuko may have kissed your fat butt at the end of the war, but time as changed. We won't be anyone's carpet anymore."

"My butt is NOT FAT!"

Aang shook his head. Azula went right back to reading her book.

"Could you at least pretend to pay attention?" He was exasperated.

"When you say something worth hearing."

This time, Sokka called Azula at work. "I am so ready to get out of here."

"I know. To think, we have our own bedroom on the sky ship tonight."

Katara rolled her eyes. The meeting was still going on.

Sokka chuckled. "Is my sister still there?"

"Yeah," but I wasn't lying about the bedroom.

"Let's just see where tonight takes us."

"I'll be at your office at five."

"See you then."

By the end of the day, they gave into most of Azula's requests, and she signed the deal at 4:55. "I would say it's been nice working with you, but that would be a lie. I have to go. Ciao!"

Kuei grunted.

Aang was impressed by her ability to be completely unrepentant.

Azula walked down the hall to Sokka's office. She knew where it was, but she asked the secretary anyway, to make sure that people noticed she was there.

"Down the hall and to your left, Princess."

"Thank you."

Azula knocked on his door. When he came to get it, she pulled him into a kiss, catching the attention of everyone around him. "Hey, Caveman."

"Hello, Firefly."

"Ready to go."

"I am."

The rumors were buzzing as they left the office hand and hand.

"You sure know how to make an entrance," he told her.

"Like I said, everyone you work with will know by the time they get to the wedding. This way, if Zuko asks around, he won't think we just made it up."

"How are you so good at this?"

"Well, I've never been a fake girlfriend before, but I've done my fair share of impersonations. Ba Sing Se wasn't the first time I pretended to be someone else, and it wasn't the last."

She didn't tell him what other con jobs she had. Instead, she got him to the barber where they trimmed him, plucked his eyebrows and even buzzed away his ear hair.

"Oh he cleans up nicely," Azula told the barber. She paid and they headed for the port.

"Did you get a haircut?" Sokka asked her.

"I went during lunch. I came back late, and your sister gave me a lecture."

"Why is she here?"

"She and Aang were summoned after I set Kuei's robes on fire. I guess he needed her and the avatar to protect him from me."

Sokka laughed. "You should have conquered the city again while they were all here."

"Next time," she said as they boarded.

Toph and Satoru were already in the Bei Fong suite. Toph couldn't see very well on the wood.

"I can tell it's Zappy from her perfume, but who's the guy who smells like cedar wood."

"That would be Sokka."

"Really? Since when can you afford cologne?"

"Thanks Toph," he rolled his eyes.

"Can't have my man looking shabby next to me?"

Toph felt his face. "You're all cleaned up."

"And don't mess it up. Only I mess him up."

"You're territorial."

"Did you just notice?"

"It's not like you've had a man this past year."

"I had some offers, but I wasn't interested."

"Were they ugly or were they stupid?"

"Not all of them were ugly or stupid, but guys who approach me want to date the Princess, not Azula."

"I see. Satoru didn't even know I was a Bei Fong when we met. Dad denied I was his daughter."

"Lao is a bizarre man."

"You know him?" Sokka questioned.

"I know everyone with as much money as he has. He tried to bribe the Dai Li into recovering Toph during the war, but I needed them to take Ba Sing Se, so I kind of threatened him into withdrawing his offer."

"I knew I liked you," Toph said.

"Anyway, why are we on a boat without drinks?"

"I don't know." Toph rang the bell.

A servant came right away. "Yes, Lady Bei Fong."

"I'm no Lady. I'm Toph and my friends and I need lots of whiskey sours, strain the ice, double the whiskey and keep 'em coming."

"Of course, Lady Bei Fong."

"Was he even listening?"

"Lao has them conditioned," Satoru told them. "They're like Joo Dees."

"I'm scared," Sokka told them.

"Don't worry. Long Feng's brainwashing equipment was destroyed," Azula told him.

"How do you know?"

"I destroyed it all. Honestly, I think what he did was worse than just killing people. Instead of letting them move on into the afterlife, he just stripped them of their humanity and left them empty shells."

The drinks came quickly and Azula started ordering from the dinner menu. "We will need steamed meat buns, the spicy chicken wings, I want a salad and the large cheesy bread."

"Of course Princess Azula."

"You got a salad?" Sokka questioned.

"I need some greenery in my diet. We can't all have big muscles to burn away all the fat we eat."

He grinned. "You like my muscles."

Two hours later, they were drunk and the table was filled with plates of food they had eaten. The servant came to clear it all away and they took a water round before they went back to drinking.

"So Snoozles, how does Zappy compare to Fan Girl in the sack?"

They hadn't …

"Azula takes charge, which I like. Suki was more of a lie on her back and let me do the work kind of girl."

Azula bit his neck.

"Not here Zappy! You have your own room, and it's next to mine, so try not to keep him up all night!"

"The same goes for you, Mrs. Howler. How many beds have you broken riding Satoru?"

Sokka grunted.

"Only three! It's not my fault he has a surprisingly large penis!"

"TOPH!" he gasped.

"Oh get over it. Zappy and I are like twins."

"Add fire to Earth and you get lava," Azula told them.

"And lava's sizzling hot!"

"Just like us!"

They high-fived.

Sokka grinned. They were pretty funny.

Zuko was refereeing between his mother and his fiancée. Suki had picked out a flower arrangement, but Ursa thought it was too plain for a Fire Lord wedding, so she had changed it to a more elaborate arrangement and now Suki doesn't like it.

"Why are there 3000 flowers for one wedding?"

"There hasn't been a Fire Lord wedding in over sixty years," Ursa told her. "This is a once in a lifetime event. It can't look like a run of the mill wedding."

"The arrangement I picked out was nice."

"Yes, if this were a cutthroat wedding being done in your backyard at Kyoshi Island."

"Are you saying my tastes are too simple?"

"Yes," Ursa told her. "I didn't say it directly because I thought it rude, but you have to realize you're a Fire Lady now. You represent both Zuko and the crown. You can't stomp around like you're still his bodyguard."

"I do not STOMP!"

"And the yelling, not very lady like."

"I'll show you lady like!"

"LADIES! PLEASE!" Zuko intervened stepping between them. "Mother, you should have consulted Suki before you changed the flowers, but it's already been done, and it's not like we can stiff the florist who didn't know any better, so I suggest you take a look at the flowers that are on their way and see if there is a way to utilize them that would be more to your liking."

Suki frowned. "Fine!"

"And mother, I appreciate your help, but this is Suki's big day, and I want this to go as she wants it."

"I understand. When's your sister coming?"

"Tomorrow. She's coming with Toph and Satoru."

"What?" Suki questioned.

"Toph invited her to come with them since she has that fancy Bei Fong suite on the sky ship, and they're probably stuffing their face and drinking the whole way here."

"How distasteful," Ursa told him.

"We finally agree on something," Suki said.

"See, you can both argue with Azula, together. Whatever it takes to get me through this wedding in one piece."

Zuko went back to work. All of the women in his life were crazy, and it would only get worse when Azula and Toph were here. They love to piss people off.

There was a knock on his door. "Iroh, you're here." He hugged the man.

"I came early to see if I can help."

"If you can make sure Suki and mother don't kill each other, I will be eternally grateful."

"I can mediate as needed. Everything else going according to plan."

"Yes as far as I can tell. I'm just trying to get all my work done before this wedding, so I can enjoy my honeymoon."

"Well, I'll leave you to it."

Iroh headed out. He could hear Suki yelling and Ursa yelling right back. This was going to be a doozy.

Azula was drunk, delightfully so, and she wanted a certain caveman. She said goodnight to Toph and Satoru, leading Sokka to her bedroom by the tie.

"Have you ever been with a noblewoman?"

"A few, but they weren't very noble. They seemed to go to the bars regularly, searching for dick."

"I can't say that's been a pattern of mine. I don't really date."

She fell back on the bed.

"Join me."

He pounced on her, covering her body in his as he lavished her neck with kisses. She moaned and squirmed excitedly, as it was the first time a man had touched her in this way. She normally liked to show herself in control, but she couldn't keep the façade going. She was ready to burst.

When Sokka slowed down, Azula started unbuttoning his shirt and taking off his belt. "I should have gotten a collar for you," Azula hissed. "It would have been gold with jewels and a chain, so I can lead you around."

"That sounds kind of hot."

"Maybe we can find one at the store. I wonder what Zuko would say if I led you around during the feast."

He blushed as she flipped him over, kissing him from his neck to his hips. He had a muscular body, each scar adding to his manliness. "How did you get these?"

"I fell off the sky ship on Sozin's Comet."

"I see."

She unbuttoned his silk boxers, letting his organ pop out at her. "It's so big." She wasn't expecting it to be so menacing, but could it be any other way. When they first met, he was a scrawny boy. She could kick his ass easily, but he grew and not just his height.

Her small hand wrapped around it. She pulled it to her lips and gave him a tentative lick.

"Oh fuck!"

"Was that bad?"

"It was amazing!"

She continued before giving him a suck. She stopped at the head. "Maybe I should have nicknamed you jawbreaker."

He grinned goofily as she pulled off his boxers, leaving him naked. He was still, however, wearing his tie. She pulled it, sending him to her lips before she kissed him. She tasted like whiskey and sweet and sour cow pig. It was marvelous.

"You still have your dress on."

"You never took it off."

He unzipped it and slid it off her. He knew she would have on nice underwear, but he wasn't expecting a lace bra and thong with garters to hold up her stockings.

"Where did you get such a marvelous outfit?"

"Before I started shopping for you, I would shop for me."

He kissed her chest before unsnapping her bra and pushing it off her. He cupped her breasts. They grew since the time they first met. She was only 14 then. She's 18 now and fully a woman. He sucked on a nipple. It hardened in his mouth and he chewed on it.

"OH SOKKA!" A small flame left her tongue before she put it out.

He pinched her other one and kept going down her body. Her stomach was flat. She had scars too. "Where are these from?"

"Ba Sing Se. I got into a nasty fight with Iroh before I fought you all," the price she paid for becoming a legend.

"Do they hurt?"

"No."

He traced his tongue along every one, the tender action surprising her. He pulled off her garters and her thong, leaving the knee-high stockings on. She was absolutely marvelous. Easily, the prettiest woman he had ever had in his bed, and he could only imagine how great she would look bouncing on his cock.

She was trim down there, which he preferred to shaved. If she were bald, it would look too prepubescent.

He licked her.

"OH FUCK!" she arched her back, thrusting her hips at him. He continued to lick, probing her wetness ferociously.

Her hands messed up his hair, not that it would have lasted long anyway. It wasn't until he worked a finger in her that he realized she was still a virgin. Of course she was. She wouldn't just give it up for a guy she met at the bar, unlike the others.

He worked the finger in and out, trying to loosen her, so he could add a second one. She twisted and turned under his touch, and he continued to use his tongue on her.

Her heart was pounding ferociously. She had never known her body and her mind to be so disjointed before, like she couldn't think straight because the pleasure was too good. She had lessons in health class. She knew about reproduction, but she hadn't understood what they meant by pleasure. She gasped and groaned as she came closer to her climax.

She shrieked before she came, and she gushed all over him.

Sokka was amazed. He had never made a girl cum like this. He heard it was possible in the tribe, but she literally erupted like a volcano. He set the bar high. He always wanted to make her cum just like this.

Then, they heard a pounding on the wall. "ZAPPY shut up! You're ruining our sex!"

The couple burst out laughing.

"I forgot they were over there," Sokka told her once he got his breath.

"I guess no one will doubt your talents," Azula said with a smirk.

He sat up next to her and began kissing her shoulder. "Are you ready for bed?"

"You don't want to keep going."

"Not tonight," he said.

"You don't want me," she said sadly.

He rolled on top of her, his erection digging into her leg. "Does this feel like I don't want you?"

"No," she admitted.

"I think I'm harder than I have ever been in my life, but you've been kinder to me than any girl I've ever hauled off to bed before. I'm not going to take your virginity when we're drunk, and we haven't even decided what we are yet."

"What?"

"I know this was supposed to be a game, a trick to get a little payback at Zuko and Suki, but I don't want it to end at the wedding. I want you to be mine."

She froze as he kissed her, mauling her lips as he pressed up against her.

Finally, she kissed him back. "You have me," she told him. "Now get off before you dick pierces through my leg."

"I don't actually think that's possible," he insisted as he rolled onto his back.

"And since, I'm yours, let me take care of this for you."

She went back down to his hips, a gleam in her eye as she wrapped her hand around him.

Her nails were manicured red, blood red. He was so turned on right now.

He gasped as she sucked him into her mouth.

Wednesday: 3 Days Before the Wedding

Six hours later, they landed in Capital City where Azula's palanquin crew was waiting for her. The deal was they could use Toph's suite for transportation to and from the Fire Nation and she could use Azula's palanquin for getting around in the city once they were here.

"Who's hand is on my butt," Toph complained when she got on the palanquin.

"I was just making sure you didn't fall off," Satoru told her.

"Sure you were."

She was next to Azula. The boys were on the ends.

"I would ask if you had a good night, but I heard you two. You were noisy as shit!"

"It's not my fault Sokka was built to please."

"Well, on the way back I might have to muzzle you two!"

"I wouldn't mind tying him up and muzzling him," Azula admitted.

Sokka raised a brow. "Can you handle what you dish out?"

She grinned as she kissed him.

"Seriously, you two are too much," Toph told them.

They got to the palace.

"Welcome home Princess!"

"Thank you." She had the servant bring Sokka's stuff to her bedroom, "and make sure he gets everything he needs," she told her servant, "within reason."

"Of course Princess. Master Sokka, this way." He was led to the bathhouse.

Satoru was taken to the bathhouse too and Toph went to go bother Sparky.

On the way she found Iroh. "Hey Gramps!"

"TOPH!" He hugged her. "How are you doing?"

"Pretty good. I just got here with Zappy."

"Who?"

"Your niece."

"Oh, I didn't realize Azula was gone."

"You didn't notice she hasn't lived here in months?"

"Oh, I just got here yesterday."

"Oh, well anyway, we're here for Sparky and Fan Girl's shin dig and I can't pass up free food and booze now can I?"

"It would be a travesty."

"Exactly. So what are you doing?"

"Just helping with the last minute arrangements."

"Shouldn't Sparky be doing that? It's his wedding."

"I offered to help."

"He's hiding from Fan Girl and Mama Bear, isn't he?"

"Yeah he is."

"HAH! Well, how about I distract you from wedding junk to share a pot of tea and some snacks?"

"Sounds awesome."

Azula went to find her mother who was in charge of the seating chart.

Suki was there.

"Mother, can I have your attention?"

"Azula! You're home." She didn't react when her mother hugged her.

"Yes, I am, and I need you to make a change to the seating chart."

"Why?"

"Well, I brought my boyfriend, and I'd like to sit next to him."

"Since when do you have a boyfriend?" Suki questioned.

"I got him right after your unibrow grew back."

Suki scowled.

Ursa gasped. "AZULA!"

"What? I'm hardly ever here. How would she know if I had a boyfriend?"

"Can't you try to be nice?"

"I could."

Ursa frowned.

"Anyway, I just need you to move him from his table to our table."

"He's already a guest?"

"Well I didn't bring home riff raff."

"Let's take care of it now," Ursa needed a break from Suki anyway.

"Who's her boyfriend?" Suki questioned, not that anyone answered her. She went to Zuko to ask about it. "Did you know Azula has a boyfriend?"

"What?"

"She brought him as a date to my wedding!"

Doesn't she mean our wedding? "She didn't tell me."

"She just took Ursa to change the seating chart."

"Aren't you always complaining my mom's hovering over you? Enjoy the free time while you have it."

"You aren't worried about who this guy is?"

"Nah. If anything, I'm worried for his safety and his sanity."

Ursa was surprised to learn Azula was dating the best man. "Does Zuko know?"

"Not yet. I thought we should tell him in person, together."

It was easy to get another chair at the head table. Suki had no siblings, so it was just her father joining her.

"Well, he seems like a nice man."

"He is."

Sokka loved this whole pampering shtick. After his bath, he got steamed before getting a cold bath, to close up his pores or something, and then he got his nails cleaned and cut, his toe nails cleaned and cut, and a massage."

Satoru closed his eyes. "This is so peaceful."

"So what's it like living with Toph?"

"She's loud, abrasive, throws a wrench in all my plans, and I just can't get enough of her. I'd rather argue with her than fuck any other woman."

"She is one of a kind."

"And she knows it. I think Lao expected me to get her in line. He's in for a rude awakening."

"Well, so is Zuko."

"How did he not figure it out?"

"It's not like we've been talking about anything other than the wedding as of recent."

"I'm surprised you agreed to be the best man. I wouldn't have."

"Well, it wasn't exactly high on my awesome things list, but I didn't want to be petty. It's not like I want Suki back."

"Fair enough. Is there going to be a bachelor party?"

"No. Suki won't let him have one."

"Who needs him? Can't we go out without him?"

"What about Toph?"

"She'll only demand to come. I bet Azula would go with her."

"You know what. We should have a bachelor party. We're bachelors."

"Yeah!"

Who knew Satoru could be fun?

After the bathhouse, the men were dressed and headed back into the palace.

Iroh was surprised to see them together. "Sokka, I thought you weren't coming until Friday."

"Change of plans. I found out they were coming today, so I came with them."

"How was the flight?"

"It was good."

"Even with Azula?"

"She was the best part," Sokka told him. "I never thought she'd be the one who could keep up with Toph, shot per shot."

Azula found Sokka. "There you are," she kissed his cheek, to Iroh's shock. "How was the bathhouse?"

"Refreshing. Are you going today?"

"I might go later. It's not as fun alone, and Toph hates that kind of stuff."

"Is Ty Lee here yet?"

"I don't think she's coming until tomorrow. Maybe I'll go then."

"When are we going to talk to Zuko?"

"We can do it now, while he's too busy to try and chase us down."

"I like the way you think."

"Come on Caveman."

"Well, I must be off," he said to Iroh before he wrapped his arm around Azula and left.

"What the fuck was that?" Iroh asked Satoru once they were gone.

"They started dating in Republic City. I think they're serious."

Iroh was too baffled to speak. Instead, he chugged his tea, wishing it were something stronger.