Disclaimer: I don't own Left4Dead 2 or any of the persons, places, or things associated with it. They all belong to Valve. Please don't sue me, as I'm pretty sure they won't.

Note: I use some offensive homophobic language and slurs in this. Please take to heart the fact that I do not condone, support, or think it's acceptable in any way to do so. I only used it because there are some really good odds that Ellis was brought up in an environment that did. I mean no offense to anyone who is of any sexuality.

Note 2: Ironically to the first note, this fanfic can be considered Slash If You Squint. I didn't really intend for any Keith/Ellis or Nick/Ellis connotations, but it kind of happens naturally by virtue of them being Ellis and Nick. Again, you can read it really any way you want.

This One Time

It was the greatest safe room they'd ever been in. Whoever had been in last left a week's supply of beer, chips, and peanuts. Well, a week for one person. For four of the toughest survivors in Louisiana? About two hours.

Coach attacked the snacks like a bear in a campsite. It was absolute carnage, shells and crumbs flying everywhere.

Nick and Ellis went straight for the beer. They drank and watched the food torture from a safe distance. It took a can and a half before Nick convinced Ellis it was safe to try for the peanuts. Coach probably wouldn't eat his arm. He didn't, but the redneck kid got a bruised shoulder from a flying fist. He returned triumphant, however, and Nick seemed at least a little impressed.

Rochelle, meanwhile, resolved to be the only one not doing anything foolish. Guarding the door, not from the infected who couldn't get in but rather the drunks who may try to get out. It lasted until the boys seemed content to play a game of putting an empty can on the other side of the room, Coach finally sufficiently fed to no longer behave like a shipwreck survivor, trying to throw peanut shells into it. She then sat down with them, cracking one open. One beer would be alright.

At the end of his second beer Ellis took another shot at the can. "This one time, me an' Keith, we was hangin' out by the river drinkin' an' he gets the idea t' tie a rope to one'a the branches on a tree nearby." He popped the next can open with a fizzing sound.

Nick rolled his eyes, mouthing, 'Here we go' to the others. Coach chuckled and Rochelle elbowed the conman.

"Well, he thought it'd be fun t' use the rope t' swing into the river. So Keith, he gets down t' his shorts an' goes up top the hill and makes a runnin' start. 'Cept we tied the rope too far outside th' river an' when he swung out an' let go, he landed in th' shallows. Broke seven bones, fractured three, an' was in a body cast fer months." After a pause in which he gulped down another third-of-a-can, he looked at the others and blinked. "Well, that's weird."

"What?" Nick asked. "That you stopped talking?"

"No," Ellis said indignantly. "That ya'll didn't tell me to. Usually ya'll don't like when I tell stories."

"That's not true," Coach said.

"Is for me," Nick muttered.

The African-American woman with them ignored him. "You just like to tell them at the wrong time. Like when we're moving from one safe room to the next. I, for one, think Keith sounds like a very interesting person."

Ellis's face lit up like a Christmas tree, and not just red from the beer. "He wasn't just interstin', he was my best friend! We did everythin' together. Every time he got hurt, I'd stay at the hospital with'im. Then when he'd get ta go home I'd hang out an' help him get anythin' he needed. This one time he tried car-surfin' his pickup while I was visitin' family in another state, an when I got back he'd fallen off an' broken both his arms. All our buddies thought he was a hero, an' they put all kinds'a stuff all over the casts, but Keith made 'em save a spot an' wouldn't let no one do anythin' much fer him 'til I could."

"Sounds more like you were his girlfriend than his best friend," Nick smirked.

"Nick!" Rochelle exclaimed in exasperation.

"S'okay," Ellis surprised them. They'd expected with his redneck upbringing for him to get upset, defensive. There was no way a kid like him grew up in a family that wasn't rife with homophobia. "Th' guys used ta make jokes like that. I even got in a fight with one over it once. He tried ta kick my ass, but I fought back an' we both came out with bruises and black eyes. I think I might'a dislocated his shoulder, too. Most'a th' guys figured that was that 'cause everyone knows fairies can't fight a lick. They still joked, but knew we couldn't be gay. 'Specially after this one guy, he had'a be twice my size, he comes 'round. Was Billy's cous, I think. Anyway, he comes 'round an' hears the guys jokin' an' thought they was serious. So he starts makin' fun'a me, an' I ain't stupid so I don't pick a fight. No one would. But he grabs me by the front'a th' shirt an' asks if I know what they do to faggots where he's from. I didn't get a chance ta answer, cause Keith comes outta nowhere, he was late on account'a his truck havin' engine problems after he crashed it into a tree, an' he grabs that fella an' starts beatin' th' shit outta him. I mean, Keith's always been a crazy son'a-bitch, but he never gets mad. But this time, well, it took all five'a me an' my buddies t' get him off Billy's cous. Finally he jus' yells at 'em, 'Ya ever try somethin' like that again, yer own mama won't recognize yer face!'"

"Wow, he beat the shit out of a guy that big just because he threatened you?" Coach looked impressed.

"Yeah, Keith was always doin' stuff fer me. We had a whole list a'shit I wasn't allowed to do. Said if I got hurt he wouldn't'a taken care'a me like I did him. That was bullshit, 'course. I did lotsa stuff that got me hurt. Not as much as him, but plenty'a times. An' he took care'a me every time. Told me every time it was the last. Couple'a years ago we got in a fight over it when I had ta' get stitches cause'a an accident with a weed whacker. Got scars all up my leg cause'a it, an' at th' time I wasn't s'posed ta move 'round cause it'd rip th' stitches. He told me, he says, 'Don't call me fer nothin', cause I'm sick'a babysittin' ya.' An' I told him, 'Fine, I dun'need ya anyway.'" The young redneck stared at his remaining beer then put it to the side. "It took three days a'fore I hadda call him. Was tryin' ta get some stuff from the top o'th' pantry an' stretched too far. Pulled my stitches so hard two broke an' my pain meds were wearin' off so they started hurtin' like a bitch. Went ta get'em so I could drive to th' doctor, but they fell in th' toilet an' I accidentally flushed them tryin' ta get'em."

"How in the hell have you survived a zombie apocalypse?" Nick chided.

"I thought'a callin' th' doc, but I didn't think it was that bad. So after tryin' ta think of anythin' else through th' pain, I finally called Keith. I thought he'd be out hangin' with th' guys, but he picked up on th' first ring. Didn't so no hello, jus', 'Ellis, what's wrong?' like he'd been waitin' fer me t'call. When I told him 'bout it he hung up an' I thought he was mad. He showed up 'bout three minutes later an' helped me get t'th' hospital, naggin' me fer not callin' them myself th' whole time."

"You two really were close, weren't you?" Rochelle was smiling as she asked.

"Closer than kin," Ellis nodded. "When that last chopper came in he tried ta take me with'im. But I kept comin' up with excuses not ta go. Were more important people than me that hadda go. Ones that didn't wanna stay in zombie land. Keith woulda stayed too, if he could. But I told him I'd be on th' next one if he went then."

"After all the shit he endured, you didn't think he could handle this?" Nick raised an eyebrow.

"Nah, I knew he could. That's why I made'im go. Knew if anythin' happened he'd take care'a th' others. I miss him, though. Wonder if he's still waitin' fer me ta come in on a chopper." There was a moment where no one said anything. "Ya'll… ya'll think he's still waitin', right? I'm gonna see'im when we get outta this… right?"

Rochelle and Coach looked at each other. They'd never seen nor heard Ellis look like that before. So down and a little lost. They were used to him being excitable and happy in his nightmare-inducing paradise. It was Nick who surprised them with his answer, though.

"Of course he is, dumbass," the conman reached over and pulled the bill of Ellis's hat down over his face. "Probably wondering what's taking you so long. When we get there you'll have plenty to tell him, though." As the kid straightened his cap out again, Nick stood up. "Now come on, let's take pot-shots at the zombies through the bars."

"Sure!" Ellis followed suit, running to the guns. "I call rifle! Dibs!"

Nick shook his head and looked down at the others. "What?" he demanded at their smirks.

"Would ya look at that," Coach said. "Big, bad Nick has a heart after all."

"I think that was the nicest thing I've ever seen you do," their female companion added.

"Don't go getting ideas. I didn't do it cause I like him," the well-dressed man warned. "Look at him."

They did. Ellis was gleefully checking and prepping his rifle. He seemed right back to normal.

"As annoying as he is, I'd rather deal with this Ellis than a mopey one."

"I still think you like him," Rochelle teased.

"Getting' jealous listening to him go on about Keith?" Coach joined.

"You both suck," Nick snapped, stomping off to join Ellis.

As they took position at the bars, taking aim at the wandering infected, Ellis muttered, "I do really like Keith, you know."

"I've noticed," Nick rolled his eyes, sighting one and squeezing the trigger of his automatic.

"Ya shouldn't worry, though. I like you jus' as much."

"Jesus!" Nick's aim was thrown off as he started, automatic fire arcing wildly into the air and alerting the zombies to them. He stared at the laughing redneck as Ellis started shooting. "I swear, Ellis, someday…" he muttered under his breath. He glanced one more time at him, though. Ellis had an almost sociopathic glee to him as he shot at the charging horde.

He really did hope for the kid's sake they found Keith waiting for them when they got back. After everything they'd been through he deserved that.

However, he kind of dreaded the idea of another Ellis running around. Oh well, they'd deal with that if it ever came to it. Right now, he'd settle for surviving with the one they already had.