TO DRESS A WOMAN

"WWWWHHHHAAAATTTTT!?"

She sounded like a Banshee in sheer rage. Her shriek ricocheted around the walls of Commander Erwin Smith's office, managed to slip out through the cracks, echoed through the corridor and bounced all the way to the mess hall where the cadets of the Scouting Legion were breaking their fasts. For a moment, the men and a handful of women in uniform silenced their early morning chatter but resumed their almost normal chit-chats as if nothing has happened. It seems that the outburst is not an unusual occurrence within the Legion's headquarters.

"Why are you doing this? Erwin! I haven't given you a fuck's reason to do this to me! I followed orders, held out weeks of no precious titans to study and experiment with, behaved like shit, and all the sacrifice for this fuck's ass assignment!? Goddamn you, Erwin!" the bespectacled brunette cried out, slamming her palms on the desk, her usually cheerful expression replaced by a darkened scowl and fiery glares that could actually crack her eyeglasses.

Despite the display of rage from his woman-at-arms, Commander Erwin Smith remained calm, stoic and undeterred, even clasping his hands together to rest his chin on. The man was so serene that he even managed a slight smile on his lips.

"Do tell me, Hanji, why are you so upset?" the blond man asked, faking innocence obviously. His teasing is making Hanji Zoe, second squad leader and top titan researcher of the Recon Corps, angrier, her blood boiling even more. She balled her fingers in a fist, dragged them to her sides and stood up in attention, her back stiff and straight it would've split in half had she taken in a deeper breath.

"Upset? Up-set?" the woman repeated, slightly slower for emphasis on the second repetition. Silence followed.

Suddenly, she slammed her fisted hands on the desk again, this time more forceful that hadn't the desk been mahogany would've chattered beneath her strike.

"I AM BEYOND UPSET, YOU GODDAMN FUCK! I AM FUCKING PISSED! I DON'T FUCKING LIKE THE ENTIRE SHIT OF A PLAN YOU LAID OUT, YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE WITH A FUCKING STICK RAMMED THROUGH IT!"

The vast mind of Hanji Zoe had already mapped an effective and efficient plan of attack to blacken a part of Commander Smith's face and her body was prepared to execute such a strategy. However, before she could actually carry out her devilish attempt, a strong arm grabbed her by her waist, destroying her line of thought.

"What the fuck!? Hey!"

Suddenly she felt herself get hauled over a shoulder. She felt her blood rush through her skull and the image of Erwin Smith that was earlier beaconing through her vision was replaced by a harness-draped ass.

"She'll do it." A silky deep voice said. It was a fraction of a second later after that announcement that Hanji Zoe felt herself being carried out of the room.

"Levi! LEVI! PUT ME DOWN, YOU MIDGET! PUT ME DOWN! I'M NOT DOING IT! I AM NOOOOOTTTTT DOING IT! NOOOOO!" The brunette screamed. Her squirming and fidgeting only made Lance Corporal Levi tighten his hold on her, imprisoning her even more and grounding her more in place on his shoulder. Flailing her hands and arching back her hips to escape made it even worse.

"LET ME GO! PUT ME DOWN! LEVI! MIDGET! SHORT, DIMINUTIVE, UNDERSIZED, LITTLE, TINY, MINUTE, MINISCULE, INSIGNIFICANT CORPORAL FUCKER!"

Now, it has become an unspoken rule to never refer to the Lance Corporal's height openly. In fact, it is an order from Erwin Smith, himself, to disregard this fact entirely unless sanity has left you and preferred to die in the hands of a very ruthless, very annoyed, and very scary Lance Corporal Levi. Therefore, whoever was within hearing range made every possible attempt to not listen to the series of insults made by Hanji Zoe for fear that when interrogated on what they heard, their lives will be forfeited.

" !"

"Shut up, Shitty Glasses! Another goddamn word and I'll smack your ass." the short man threatened, his face void of expression, as he continued to walk up to his quarters.

"I'll smack your ass, Corporal petite as shit. I sure have better access over here." Hanji retorted as she jammed the sides of her fisted hands hard on Levi's buttocks.

And there goes a loud slap, resounding and reverberating along the hallway, followed by a rather long whelp of pain. Finally, there was silence.

She wanted to cry like a baby. She wanted to curl into a ball and disappear. She wanted to be devoured by man-eating monsters and be completely forgotten. She preferred a death that has no honour, no valour, no whatsoever than this humiliation.

Levi placed her down on his bed, surprisingly gently, and without pausing treaded to the bathroom to prepare a bath, all the while removing his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. Once alone, the bespectacled squad leader sniffed back snot and swallowed the lump on her throat. Slipping off her glasses, Hanji started to wipe away the tears that started to form on the corners of her eyes with the back of her palm.

Then, she suddenly felt a hand grab her ponytail, albeit tenderly, causing her to cuss openly and instinctively strike back at the gentle assaulter. Levi, as an experienced soldier that he is, caught her wrist easily before she could hit his face.

"Will you stop being so fucking violent, four eyes? And stop being such a shit. This isn't like you. Be a lady for a moment." He said, stern but not harsh.

"I am not lady." She answered back, swallowing hard. "I am a soldier. I am a fighter. I am a pawn in this goddamn war. I am a filthy human being. I am everything but a lady. So fuck it all and leave me alone, Levi." She added, shoving the man aside with all her might. And he let her push him to a distance. Feeling her tears brewing again, Hanji turned her back from the raven-haired man and breathed in heavily to keep it at bay.

Again, he felt his hand on her hair.

"Goddamnit Levi –-"

"Shut it, Hanji." He ordered. His fingers coiled over the band that held her hair together and in a fluid motion, he slipped the band down causing her locks to flood down her nape and a little pass her shoulders. Hanji was about to protest but Levi beat her into speaking.

"You're right about not being lady, four eyes. My mistake. You're not a lady." He said. His hand moved to caress her cheek, his thumb slipped through the tiny space beneath the rim of her glasses to wipe away the tear that was about to fall.

"You are a woman." Levi continued, his voice down to a whisper and yet clear and strong. "Come on, let's get you fixed for tonight." Moving his hand down to hold her wrist, Levi pulled Hanji from his bed and led him to the bathroom. He told her to undress and get in the tub and call him when she's ready for him to scrub her back.

"I'll go get your dress. Get in the tub, four eyes." The short man said as he turned around to leave, the bathroom door he left slightly open so he can hear her call when he comes back.

The brunette sighed heavily once alone. Figuring that there is no escape to this situation, she removed her harness, then her jacket. She unbuttoned her blouse and zipped down her pants. Her earlier sentiments vanished when she felt the relaxing hot water soothe her aching body. She closed her eyes for a moment and revelled at the feeling.

Her relaxed state became more glorious when she felt two firm hands massaging her scalp. She opened her eyes but everything was a blur.

"Glasses are on the sink. Stay still." Levi said, knowing exactly what she was thinking. Hanji just let him continue what he was doing. After washing off the shampoo, Levi asked her to move a bit to gain access to her back. He scrubbed meticulously but tenderly, taking particular care over the deep scars she acquired from the war.

"Alright. You're done here. Wash up. Towel-dry your body first then wrap the towel over your head so it won't drip over your dress. Dress is over there. I'll see you outside." Levi said. He stood up and walked out, closing the door behind him completely.

Hanji did as she was told. Putting on her glasses, she surveyed the dress that Levi was talking about. It was a beautiful dark green velvet dress. The sleeves were long and the back was high enough to conceal her scars. The bodice was modest but not unattractive. Wrapping the towel over her head, she proceeded with donning her battle uniform for tonight.

Levi was preparing the cosmetics that he got from Petra when Hanji emerged from the bath. He had his back at her and was rather busy picking out the right colours for the lady. He didn't notice her presence.

Hanji cleared her throat loudly to announce her presence. Levi turned and he almost choked with his own salive at what beheld his eyes. The dress was a perfect fit and it accentuated all her curves. Even with that silly towel on her head, Hanji looked beautiful.

"What is it?" she asked, suddenly concerned.

"Nothing. Come over here." Levi answered, catching himself before he gaped and make a fool out of himself. "Come sit here. I'll fix you up."

Once seated, Hanji's eyes widened as she saw a set of cosmetic products laid out on the desk. She faced Levi with a questioning look and was about to voice out her query when, as always, Levi beat her to it.

"I got them from Petra, idiot. I'm not homosexual. Keep quiet. I don't want you talking." He said.

Levi dried her hair first and combed it until the tangles are all gone. Then, he braided her locks and tied it up in a French bun, leaving enough strands to frame her face. Removing her glasses, the man dabbed cream on her face and spread it generously. He placed a pale blush on her cheeks and a bit of rouge on her lips. To finish off, Levi smudged a little black colour over her eyelids to give emphasis on her eyes. He placed her glasses back on and stared at her face for a while.

"Not bad." He replied, concealing his admiration with a deadpan expression. Standing up, he let Hanji take a look at herself on a mirror he held out for her. She was amazed at how different she looked.

"Wow. Levi. How -"

"My mother slept with men for a living. She taught me how to use cosmetics so when she's too drunk or too tired to do it herself, I could do it on her. Of course, she prefers louder colours. Yours are milder." He explained, again, his back on her while rummaging through a drawer looking for something.

"Why didn't you use the louder colours?" she asked curious, still staring at herself through the mirror.

"Because you're pretty enough with light shades. Darker hues would only conceal the natural beauty." Levi replied, using a matter-of-fact tone. Finally locating what he was looking for, he opened a small box and held out the content, sighing softly as he gave it a quick study. Hanji was about to get up from her seat when he turned to her.

"Wait. Don't stand up. You're not done yet."

"Hm?"

With three long strides, Levi walked to her and made her turn her back at him. It was then that he placed a necklace with a small emerald stone pendant around her neck and clasped it at her nape. Hanji never wore jewellery before and it awed her to a point of speechlessness. Levi took the opportunity of her shock to walk away and quickly grab the ready pair of high heeled shoes. On bended knee, he placed the shoes on her feet efficiently.

"Now you're done." He said, standing up, admiring the woman before him.

Hanji couldn't move at first. Everything was just so unreal, like a dream. She looked like a dream and what just happened felt like a dream.

"Levi. I -"

"You are woman, Hanji. Not just a soldier. Not just a pawn. Not just a fighter. You're everything a woman can be and tonight, you will show those shitheads inside Wall Sina just how much a woman from the Scouting Legion can do." He said. Moving close to her, he caressed her cheek again. "Go kick their asses, woman." And he gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead.

Five minutes later, Hanji was on her way to Wall Sina to talk to noble men for sponsorship.

Meanwhile, after cleaning his quarters and returning the cosmetic products to Petra, Levi made his way to Erwin's office. The commander was busy with documents that Levi slammed the door to announce his presence.

"Yes, Levi?" Commander Smith inquired, without looking away from his documents.

"If you ever make Hanji go through this again, I will kill you, you bastard. I will beat you and skin you alive and I swear on my wings I will throw your fucked up skinless meat to titans outside the walls. So I'll be damned, Erwin, don't ever make my woman go through this shit again."

With that, Levi left and an amused commander softly chuckled at how romantic his subordinate turned out to be.